Okay…..I know I am months, upon months late….but it took some time and some courage for me to finally get the nerve to actually watch this.
As a female who was molested by her own father, I can only imagine what it could feel like for a male to feel like he had to keep the secret of being abused, in any fashion. In my blogs The House My Father Built and a Molestation Survivor Speaks….you can catch a glimpse of my struggle. And even after speaking to my biological father in NOvember for the first time in 15 years….he told me that I made it all up in my mind and that I was brainwashed by family members. WHO DOES THAT?!!!!!!!! He couldn’t face the fact that he was a perverted bastard who once molested his own sister and then continued with me…..he had to attempt to make me feel stupid and as if it was my fault. I refuse to own that, but it is very hard for me shake this part of my past; I don’t even know if I am supposed to.
So I recorded this on my DVR months ago and something is now telling me to watch it….on this EASTER Sunday( I know this is not when you will read this…but it is when I wrote it). Something is about to be resurrected….hopefully the real me. I feel safe enough to watch this. It is time for me to face this beast….and what better way than to watch this episode of Oprah and possibly help some other people.
Now, I didn’t watch the Tyler Perry Episode… I guess I should find a copy of it….but I will deal with what I have thus far.
As a female who lives in the AIDS/HIV Capital of the U.S.A,Washington, D.C., I am sooooooo big on this topic that you wouldn’t even believe the efforts that I go through to make sure that women understand what they are putting their bodies up for when having sex. I have to be up front ladies… the condom is NOT the man’s responsibility….alone. You, too, need to have two of each size condom ( just in case he should come up short) and you should also have dental dam. If the phrase “dental dam” just made you tilt your head Scooby style, then honey, you need to STOP having sex immediately because you are missing very important elements of sex education and sex preparation.
Yes, I am grown enough to know that everyone is not safe all of the time. Now that we all have admitted to it, what do we plan to do about it? Ladies, how do you plan to protect yourself? As a woman, there have been times when I have gone and gotten tested and found out that my guy had sex with an ex the day I got tested which voided the results he showed me. Or the guy’s wife ( who lived in another state) saw pics of us on Myspace and wanted to know what i was doing with her husband….and I didn’t even know he was married…did I mentioned she lived in another state?! Or being with a guy who reveals that he use to like men. I don’t judge him… but this is information you need to tell me BEFORE we head down this road. So you see, preparing yourself with knowledge about your partner is just as important as if you put a condom in your purse or wallet. You need BOTH to be safe in the game of sex. Nothing is guaranteed. NOTHING!
Using a condom but having oral sex without a dental damn makes about as much sense as you getting gas and pulling off with the tank wide the fuck open. Yes, I’m being a hypocrite…but, as a reformed hypocrite I have seen the errors of my ways and I wanted to step forth and be brave enough to talk about it. So yes, I get tested before EVERY guy I am with. Yes, I only have ONE sexual partner in a 12 month period….NO EXCEPTIONS! This is what I do, but even this is not enough if I don’t know the status of my partner. I need solid proof, like seeing his results or going to get tested with him. So, this is why I am celibate and have been for quite some time. I might set a fire if I cross my legs, but at least I am healthy. HIV NEGATIVE!!!!!!
So, I asked my 200 men the following question:
HIV/AIDS is high in certain communities. How often do you get tested? Have you ever gotten tested BEFORE sex with a person? DO you do the mouth swab or blood test?
And they came back with the following answers.
Prestige “The One And Only”: Every three months, blood test.
Allen Ozark: Yup Tested. Nope, not positive. in fact i have NEVER had any kind of STD … EVER! and i never will! I understand the whole aids / std epidemic, but i just don’t understand the whole aids / std epidemic. a true gentlemen never infects others.
Lateef25: Every six months
*~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I get tested often, but it’s a requirement with my job to get tested every year. They have always taken my blood. I would not have unprotected sex without knowing the other person’s status.
Aries Brotha: At least one a year. Yes. And it’s a rather moot right now as i’ve decided to reframe from having sex. Just dating.
Kip S: I get tested every year. Yes, I’ve gotten tested before and after sex, typically blood test.
RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]: well i only have one partner at a time. I don’t sleep around but i get tested every six months
K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I HAVE BEEN TESTED. AIDS FREE. I USE THE SWAB AND I HAVE HAD MY BLOOD TESTED. MOST RECENT TEST WAS LAST YEAR!! JUNE. IMMMM SAFE!!!!! SO LETS GET IT INNN!! LOL
”DUKE” BANNER: YES I ALWAYS GO TO THE DOCTOR EVERY SIX MONTHS. I HAVE RA AND I GO TO MY CARDIOLOGIST I WAS POISON HAD GOT REAL SICK
And then ladies, you have men who respond like this:
Pete E.: not in my community
Yes, he did say that AIDS does not exist in his community. I hit him up and pressed further. He said that no one where he lives has AIDS or HIV and he would know so this doesn’t concern him. I tried to press further but he just wanted to holla at me. Did he really think that he could get my number after a response like that? SIKE!
And you know that now and then you will run into the religious aspect of a question like this. But trust me when I tell you, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for this particular religious spin on getting tested for HIV/AIDS:
www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Never got tested nor will I ever! If God is for me who can be against me? Aids is a curse and Jesus already took that to the cross. I just do my part by not putting myself in the judgement seat by sleeping with every woman in site.
Me: Hello, I thank you for answering my question about getting tested for HIV/AIDS. Your response is very admirable. I just have to ask one question and I hope that you can answer it to help me better understand your response. You said that you have never gotten tested and nor will you ever. SO my questions are: 1. Do you know that in some states, to get married, you are required to take an AIDS test? 2. Are you a virgin or have you ever had sex before? And it was interesting to listen to the song that is on your page as I write this note. Arise-Cherry Pie. Have a blessed evening.
www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Im not worried about that. Yes I have had sex before,but aids is the last of my concern.
Me: Did you use protection when you did have sex before? Sorry to be personal, I just agree with your original comment on some levels and am bothered by them as a woman on another. So, I am just seeking clarification.
www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent:The difference is I am focused on Jesus and you want to focus on aids, aids is a judgement but people in the Christian world get healed from it everyday. I don’t worry about sickness because I’m not going out sleeping with everyone,or anybody for that matter my past is my past I don’t go digging into it. If there is a church that’s gonna be raptured up who is worried about disease? Jesus nailed disease, sickness, and misery to the cross for everyone,everybody just doesn’t have the same measure of faith. When you don’t tap into faith you don’t know what you truly have access to in Jesus Christ.
Me: Okay, so… I agree with you on some of it. So are you saying that you are refraining from sex until you get married? And you currently do not know your HIV/AIDS status because you are covered in the favor of God?
www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: I’m covered by the blood of Jesus therefore I do know that I don’t have aids,this is not what I think it’s what I know.
Ummmmm…I am sitting here trying to wipe my face clean but I can’t. He did give me permission to post hit Twitter link, so I did get that clearance. Again, I do understand being covered in the blood of the lamb. But you can NOT make me believe that I can walk outside of God’s kingdom to fornicate and then come back in to behave holier than thou and claim the blood in retrospect. Aint no way! You cant expect to be of the world and be covered by that which is not of that world. It doesn’t and will NEVER work that way.
If you behave in the world, you must abide by the rules and laws of that world. Therefore, do not be so afraid to get tested that you run behind the amour of God. I have faith in God to know that I will walk into the testing facility, get tested and be HIV Negative. THAT is how much faith I have. But I am also wise enough to know that if I keep testing God’s patience with my worldly activities that He can use HIV/AIDS to the betterment of His kingdom. So I am not immuned if I dabble in the world while engulfed in lust. It is all or nothing!
So ladies, even the religious dudes can get you hemmed up with something you can’t get rid of. So somewhere between you breaking the headboard and singing in the choir on Sunday, BOTH of you need to get tested. I am not judging you for the contradiction, but I am advising you to not continue the contradiction and hide behind faith. It isn’t wise. Protect yourself.
I’ll never forget sitting at the McDonalds on Alabama Ave SE, D.C. with a coworker when a guy walks up and says, “Hi, my name is Michael. I’m HIV Negative, no kids, own place, and I drive” as he proceeds to pull out his HIV Negative Test results. I COULD HAVE DIED!!! It was hilarious because it was random, but how scary is it that seeing a man with his HIV Negative results was sexy as shit! Have we reached this point? Soon will we need to have hand-held scanners like the BBM coder to see if the person you are talking to was Negative? I hope not, but stuff like this only happens to me. I swear. People… You are NOT Magic. You don’t have his money, nor his insurance. WRAP IT UP! GET TESTED! KNOW YOUR STATUS! GET TESTED TOGETHER!!!! Protect yourself first. And anyone who makes a stink about it… tell them to go dry hump cement.
Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.
I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!
Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*. But…..on to the Finale.
Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.
Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!
Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?! But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.
Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol
WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.
Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff. Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back next season and fix it.
SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me. WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.
Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.
Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.
Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.
Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.
Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.
Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.
Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.
Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!
Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*
LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass! I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.
Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.
NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch. It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]
Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.
Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.
So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!
Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea). And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao! I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.
Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.
And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick? Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.
Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed Malik’s magic stick.
Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.
AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.
WTF?!!!A Commercial?
Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!
MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!
So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.
Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week. And scene!
So…. after the evening that I have had… I DEFINITELY NEED THE GAME!!!! In short…. Church Niggas! I’m prepared to petition to get that inserted into Webster’s Dictionary. But enough about me ……..
I am still on the excited from last week’s episode. Despite people blaming BET for ruining The Game , and me secretly waiting for Deborah Lee to get hit by a bus….. I still think that the cast and crew just needed a few episodes to get back into the groove of things. We as fans must learn to accept change. Yes, the show is a little raunchier than we’re accustomed but….deep down, we wished that the older show would have taken SOME of the same risks. Secondly…it really is an adult show, hence the 10pm show time. So…if we continue to support, maybe the remaining episodes and next season will give us that happy medium. You know…somewhere between getting raped and rough foreplay.
So this episode has something to do with weed and…..I forgot, but I have a feeling it is going to be good if it has anything to do with weed.lol. As a non-smoker of anything….. weed heads crack me up. [Deletes commentary in efforts to take the high road] But… let’s get ready to watch this episode.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn , Bitches!!!!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Ummm… so didnt Malik stop talking to Jason and even talked shit about him in while in rehab? Or did love happen to forgive everyone but Derwin? And is it really that hard for a father to say “period” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did Malik just call Brittany “a regular Bobbi Christina”? LMAO!!!! Didnt Bobbi Christina JUST attempt to put out a sex tape today? LMAO!!! I know I should be more sympathetic, but after the DMV AWARD coonery I survived this weekend and the foolery I went through at church this evening….I have earned the right to not give a damn! lmao! In fact, my give a fuck is in the shop indefinitely. Dont ask me when it is coming out.
WOWZERS!!! Melanie looks like a midget standing next to Magic Johnson. Sooooo what other reason than a cameo is Magic even doing on this episode? And isn’t he an ex-BASKETBALL player? Isnt this show about football. And….why is everyone tip-toeing around Brittany? I would have been chopped her in the damn throat! I’m the queen of busting an unruly nigglet in the clavicle. Dont try it unless you are skilled enough to knock the wind out of them but not leave a mark. Learned that one from Ma’Dear. Are they really centering this episode around her? DONT YOU DO IT!!! I promise you I will roast this trick! I need to find out how old she is because I am prepared to go in that ass for this horrible acting, but for now…. TRICK SATCHO ASS DOWN!!! Yes, I said satcho!
What was up with the blanket-throw scene change? Ummmmmmmm tacky. it didn’t work with me. Writers…you’re doing too much. Okay,whoever told her to do that… you’re doing too much. Hell… where is Jazz? I need some comedy.
WHAT IS MIA (Girlfriends) MAMA DOING TAKIN OUT TASHA’S WEAVE!!!! That is Titanium blonde. HOT DAMN! I believe she reinvented white. Klu Klux Klan sheets aren’t as white as her hair. Is that mother of pearl? What was Mia’s mama’s name anyway? Hmmmmm. Oh shit, I was suppose to be watching Tasha and this boring, over exagerrated Brittany. HOW MUCH WILL IT COST TO BRING THE OLD BRITTANY BACK? Erica Gluck…. come back! Oh please, baby, baby, please! Okay, come back and teach this girl how to act….. you are TRULY MISSED!
Okay, this blonde hair on Tasha Mack (Wendy R. Robinson) FABULOUS!
Ummm… Dr. Barnett doing the “D-Dubb”…..ummmmm.It is not the Dip & Pitts.
Ummmmmm shaky nerves? They can give weed for shaky nerves? * starts twitching* What? I’m not gonna smoke it.. hell, I’ll sell that shit to pay back Sally Mae. You girl has a Master’s Degree worth of student loans I am trying to pay off.
Sidebar: I am trying to come up with something witty… but it just isn’t coming to me. NOTHING is worth commenting on in this episode. Melanie’s parents seem to like Derwin after 2 years and for some reason they want me to believe that this is the first time that they have seen each other in 2 years since the wedding. Hmmm….really? They was that Derwin jumped back looked like he was still scared of the mother. Now, if there was still a little spite there it would have been believable. But now it just makes her parents appear to be gold diggers. They only wanted a man who could make their daughter rich? And I was soooooooooo exited about last week’s episode. Let me see what Twitter is saying about the episode:
luvvieig:The Game has turned Tasha Mack into a Pothead??? BET, I think you forgot the shuck and jive. That’s the only stereotype you HAVEN’T touched.
Spicy__Tamale: I really don’t think the game was as bad as y’all saying. I mean this is BET not CBS WTF y’all expecting?
LegendaryyBroo: Why Does BET Insult My Intelligence They Doin To Muchh On The Game
RashadAintShit: i fucks with BET for bringin back thegame, but the shit stops their. minus the reruns, there’s only 4 shows on bet.
@KingMe707: The Game on BET is weak now str8 up —-straight up
CherrellRene: i can tell by every1s tweets- thegame didnt keep kelsey grammar’s writers in transition to BET <omg I was thinking that!
thebostonbrass: No you’re not my dear. I don’t watch BET period RT @mousemoney: So apparently I’m the only person who doesn’t watch The Game.
essiekk: Just read this…BET ghettofied the Game lol sad but I agree
iCy_PRiCEy: SMH at this episode of TheGame.BET is not a good representation of black people.
I promise you how I tried to find a positive one, but it is past my damn bedtime… oh shit…. this post should have been posted 24 mins ago!!!! DAMN YOU WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW!!! Raven Symone caught me in the middle of editing! Ok….
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Now Melanie has to lie to her parents about being pregnant in order to get on their good side? *yawn*
And this sentimental moment between Jason and Brit….awwwww…but ummm… he wasnt thinking tight… or clearly…or financially. Okay… I’m lost. WTF was the point of this episode? *Sigh* I dont know what the hell happened? Last week was such a rush. Is someone on maternity leave? Did someone die? Maaaaaan dont to this to me! Well, on to this boring ass show……Let’s Stay Together
Next Week: It went by too fast, and too many people were in it for me to catch it. I will catch it during a commercial break. Okay, so apparently Malik gets found out. Tasha’s new hair style was for this episode only….and apparently Dontae (Terrance J) was the focus of all of her actions as they try to make him jealous. Ummmm…..yeh, I’ll be watching. Will Jazz be in that episode too? Please say yes. I need to upgrade my Rip Tide. lmao!
Okay. Yes, I am obsessed. I turned down quality platonic cuddle time with a FINE man tonight simply because it was Tuesday and I had to blog The Game. Yes, I know you are thinking WTF is wrong with me… but don’t judge me. This is like my part-time job. I make moves happen with this blog. And besides, I can behave in my house watching The Game than set myself up and be wrapped up in his arms. I did mention that he is fine, right? I mean like, deep chocolate, Almond Joy kind of FINE. I mean, broad shoulders and chest on a tall man just how I like ’em kind of FINE. Knows how to…..oh.. my bad…ummm…where was I? Oh yeh, he’s FINE. So, how funny is it that this episode trailed the fact that Melanie wants to get kinky….lol. I know a set up when I see one. lmao! The devil is busy. Okay, I am all ready to watch it!
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn Bitches!
First off…….Malik Crying? I’m trying to go with that. Secondly… YALL KNOW DAMN WELL THAT IS NOT MO’NIQUE’S HAIRSTYLE! How yall gone try to play me. Yall know we watch Mo’Nique enough to know damn well she does that hair swoop piece in the front. Take 2, damn it, and give me Mo’s regular hairstyle. Umm….. was I the only one who noticed that Malik almost fucking fell jumping up on that couch like Tom Cruise? BET almost fucked around and had a “man down” trying to cross market…lmao! See, this is proof that black people aint use to jumping on people’s furniture. I twitch every time I put my feet on my own fucking furniture. I have flashbacks from a childhood where timeout didn’t exist. lmao!
Awww, they are making Malik human again…..and then come the haters! I wondered what would happen to Malik & Meagan Good. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did she really just say she didn’t wax in a month and she knows how much Malik likes that? OM-JESUS! I’m praying for the writer who wrote that in. It had to be the same writer who wrote the line about Meagan not having a uterus. LAWD! I’ll make sure to pray for them all. But I am proud of Malik for putting his foot down, but something is telling me that Meg isn’t giving up that easily. So did he become a better lover after Robin? Because she said it was mediocre. Hmmm….I would be willing to find out for research purposes. What? DON’T JUDGE ME!. I told you I turned down cuddle time. Work with me, damn.
Ummm…you couldnt pay me enough to throw a pair of panties in my mouth .lmao! And yeh… Jazz would be the queen of teaching people about how to please their men. LMAO! at Jazz’s line about how Melanie’s sex life has “all the excitement of a fiber commercial”. Do real wives check their husbands’ fan mail? Hmmm… And who is this limber hoe in Derwin’s room? lmao!!!! And speaking of limber hoes…. How did Meagan get in Malik’s room? Does her husband not pay any attention to her? Or is the Owner in the same city as them?
Teachable moment: Bitches, if a man puts you on blast on national TV, hell… LOCAL ACCESS TV, The RUSS PARR MORNING SHOW, or Pookie’s family reunion…. let that negro go! If you are fussing about his new and or OTHER bitch… let it go!
Okay.. I’m is confused-ed…yes…confused-ed. Why would Melanie care if anyone saw Jazz come to her house? Wasn’t she sitting in her living room with all of the Sun Beams about two scenes ago? And why would you go with a menage on your first freaky engagement.
WOW! Parker (Meagan) is off the chain! First off….did she just start screaming rape in a hotel room? Secondly… Malik fell for that? (Pause)
Is Melanie sitting in a club asking this perfect stranger to be in a threesome with her and Derwin? WHat has two years done to Med School?!!! Doesnt she know you might want to get this bitch tested first? And okay… she may not be cuter than you but she is more of a hoe and a groupie than you!!! Run bitch, save your marriage. You just let a stranger know that you can’t please your man by your damn self!!!!! Ewwwww that is not even funny. This is sad. This screams rehab. NASTY!!!!
Okay, back to Malik. If I were him, I would have picked up the phone, called my girl …much like how Parker threatened to call her husband….and would have told her everything that is going on. I would have grabbed my bag and walked the hell out of the hotel room and gone somewhere else. Or maybe it works out that easily in my head. But then again…everyone is not Rothlisberger and can get off with two rape charges. Maybe he did the right thing. But correct me if I am wrong but if you can’t get it up there will be no sex, right? But since he got it up…he was turned on by it. And apparently he got it up twice.
Awwww… Jena is the BEST thing for Malik this season. She can stay. Who is gonna help me run Parker over with a bus? And not because she is bad… but just because she is bad for Malik. I like the balloon idea…
CAN I COME JOIN IN WITH DERWIN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummmm… that was kinky. But did Med School just have her first girl kiss? KINKY!!!! I like it. Okay.. this is the BEST EPISODE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……this season.
Grade: A++!!!!! They can stay!! And yes, the energy without Kelly made it so much better. Yes, I can tell the difference. THIS WAS THE EPISODE THAT I WAS WAITING FOR!!!! I feel like calling people I hate and hanging up. Yes, I will get the same amount of joy!
Next Episode: What? Tasha has a new hair color….damn was she even on this episode? Oh yes she was…okay. Blonde though? I have a week to let it grow on me. But TASHA IS A POTHEAD!? What is up with me and all of these caps? Hell I am excited. Okay.. can’t wait to next week. they cant go back.. it is all up hill from here on out.
If you checked out my blog yesterday, Lyrically Speaking: Keri Hilson~Intuition [<~Click Here] Then you would already know what this blog is going to be about. Women have the best intuition skills on the face of this earth, but sometimes your signal could be off and you could blame a man who is doing something based on your own fears and insecurities. This is a No, No. There are things that women think they are good at, or things that should occur in a relationship….and those very things could be the thing that breaks up the relationship.
For instance, do we as women listen as much as we like to complain that men don’t listen to us? I would have to say that women are the WORST listeners. Men damn near are forced into listening and women are unaccustomed to doing so. SO, I thought that I would lay somethings out in front of you in plain view.
We often times wonder if things were our fault when it comes to a relationship ending. Did we do something wrong? What could we have done better? Etc. But then we get into our pride, listen to our bitter ass girlfriends and fail to accept our part in a relationship going wrong. Most of the issue is that we didn’t listen to our partner or the warning signs that something was not going the way that it should, yet and still we pretended that all was gravy and ignored it. MISTAKE! We must face facts. And no matter how many hours we spend hovering over a box of Ben and Jerry’s we will always find ourselves blameless. So, I thought that I would ask my 200 Men the following question:
If there were 2 things that you could get women to do (or stop doing) in a relationship to make it work or last longer…what would those 2 things be and why? Send me a message for longer answers.
Now before you read these answers, you have to be open and honest with yourself. Before you go any further I need you to make the promise that you will not negate a single one of these answers. These guys deal with women, therefore they know what has bothered them in a relationship. Are all of these responses going to be about you? No, not unless you have been with all of these guys. But SOMETHING in here will strike a chord and pinch a nerve and you have to be willing to face that fact and be ready to fix it, because if it is listed… then it is a problem.
And the 200 Men Said….
Vince V: sorry I don’t like this question…for one it automatically assumes that it is something that a woman does or doesn’t do that causes relationships to end. when we all that is not true. (just keeping it real) no two relationships r the same, every one ends for different reasons. but if you want to hear the general consensus of the male demographic, the answer to your question would be… be more explicitly sexual and open to diversity in the bedroom, and to domesticate themselves a little more (learn to cook and clean).
Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Assuming 2 Much! And Needs 2 Communicate More!..Muahz..Pefect..lol
…….: Stop always acting like everything is about money,and stop acting like everything is about money lol
K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: WELL TWO THINGS ARE STOP ACCUSING A MAN OF BEING OUT WITH OTHER WOMEN AND SECOND , STOP BEING SILENT WHEN SOMTHING IS ON YOUR MIND!
ICE: Shut up lol…and trust me 🙂
Lateef25: not be so dramatic and just think before you react
Aries Brotha: Stop boasting about the intimacy shared in the bedroom. And to stop agonizing about where the relationship is going. Boasting could lead her friends wanting to see what’s up. Relationships evolve so there isn’t really any way to plan the future.
Jerome P: i think women should not assume what a man knows.Tell him whats going on in your head. just because we dont know something about you doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention to you. We don’t pick up on everything so quickly
James F: take care of her appearance and be a good listener
Code Name Bigsexy: 1 NO MALE FRIENDS.2 KNOW WE ARE A TEAM THAT MEANS I HELP YOU AND YOU HELP ME
!: be satisfied with your man’s position in life if he is happy…In other words, if he makes 60000 and content why bash him for not wanting more, or dressing a certain way, etc…just like him for him or make a change in her life.
!A Gentleman! (BBM:30A835CD): If I can get women to stop looking at me or guarding themselves as if I was the man who hurt them. Stop assuming you know us, every man is the not same, we’re not! we are all different.
THIS GUY: stop always trying to be right and stop trying to destroy another peaceful day
James L: To stop treating all guys like their cheaters because of their past relationship experience. You will run the good guy off. Say what you mean!!!! We can’t read between your lines, to many possibilities. Make it plain and simple what you want.
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE COMMENT CAN FROM :
Prestige “The One And Only”: Control your own confidence level. A man shouldn’t dictate a woman’s love for herself, if ever it gets to the point where I am the sole source of her believing in herself it becomes very unattractive. And never stop setting goals….
I read that comment and I wanted to revert back to southern Baptist Church days. PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gone On And Tell ’em The TRUTH, PASSA! (Yes, I said Pass and not Pastor). Don’t ask him if that dress makes you look fast. You knew you looked fat and wanted confirmation. Or you THOUGHT you looked fat and need to hear someone else say the words that mimic the thoughts in your head. That is NOT fair to him. You need a self-check. You need to be able to stand on your own. Confidence is sexy as shit! And the sooner you think you are beautiful is the same minute that the world will begin to agree with you. No self-denial can be included in this. So no obese chicks in 2-piece swimsuits because it doesn’t mean you are confident, that shows you are faking confidence. Nor does it mean that the skinny girl who believes that she has the bomb as body should go around and show everyone. Think about it, some of the most valuable collections of the world are behind glass and locked up where no one can see it or have limited access. Why would you expose your treasure? You are worth being the first to know that you are beautiful and worth being loved. Love yourself first, trust me when I tell you it is a beautiful thing.
Of course I agree with the intro to Vince V’s response and “……”‘s answer cracks me the hell up. But they all hold a good point in them. And even though ICE wants to get jumped… there is a point to his message as well. We must all learn to shut up SOMETIMES and listen just as much as we wish to be listened to.
Aries Brotha makes a great point about boasting and being a bug-a-boo. Ladies… if you read my Advice from the Other Woman blog you would know that you don’t tell your friends SHIT!! If they ask, just say everything is good. Only stupid females and high school chicks share the details of their relationships. STOP IT!!! Your man is telling you that if you tell you must have wanted someone to know so you can’t get mad when he gives a private tutorial to your best friend…lmao. Just kidding, but you catch my drift. And bugging him about where the relationship is headed is a sign that you are desperate. Seriously. If he wants you, you will know it. if you have to ask, then he doesn’t want you. Make yourself less available and show him that you have a life to live with or without him. If he can’t live without you….he’ll be back. So relax ladies, your asking is why your relationships keep failing. Your overall problem is talking, so shut up to your friends and to your man when it comes to where this relationship is headed… lmao. Well, do so in moderation.
And of course, the Bag Lady Effect. Boo, leave Tyrone’s issues with Tyrone. Keith didn’t hurt you, he may in the future, but you dont know that yet. Pain hurts but it makes us stronger. Imagine how many times iron has to be melted, molded, and hit over and over again to get it to a point where it holds up structures, becomes the frame for others. It feels like you are dying, but you wont. TRUST ME! I’ve been through some shit and I am still here. You are not afraid of Love. You are afraid of being hurt by Tyrone. Well you left Tyrone. Be able to think logically and not emotionally so much. This is nothing new. We’ve heard it all before. Now is the time to believe it and understand the effects of it. The men you seek do NOT like these behaviors. If there are things that you want them to change, you too have to be more willing to change the things about you that bother them. But I’m just a girl too. I suggest to myself that I need to follow my advice. And Scene!
A man’s arch nemesis has been and will ALWAYS be a woman’s intuition. I think it was apart of the deal when he snatched Adam’s rib. His rib contained 10% of Adam’s DNA which was a divine tracking device and lie detector. It lets the woman know when something isn’t right even when she can’t quite put a finger on it. I can’t describe it, but it is the oddest feeling in the entire world. She could just be sitting there when all of a sudden something tells her to call her man…..while on the other side of town he is getting his freak on with her best friend. Yes, it is like a face off between Batman and the Riddler. It is just this feeling…..
And as I thought about this topic… one of my favorite songs came to mind. Keri Hilson’s “Intuition”. Yes, this song just screams “I am woman, hear me roar. I know you did wrong, negro don’t play me. Now pack your shit and bounce.” hahahaha I don’t know if that was her intention when she wrote it, but that became my subtext when I heard it. I think it is all even, right? I mean… I know for a fact that EVERY woman pleading Intuition isn’t on the right path, but for the other 99.999999% of us who listen to our intuition for the right reasons, we are hardly ever wrong. A wise woman once told me that our intuition is God snitching on the universe. What an image, right…. but it works. So I go with my gut feelings majority of the time and I am right.
Now this song has a taste of both Indian and Asian instrumentation to it, and I think that would be a great place to start with my interpretation of the video.
I think that the video should start with Keri asleep in bed. As her man grabs the keys off the dresser and you see the door closing behind him.
“Intuition”
Whoa [3x]
Hey hey…
Keri pops up in bed and begins to look around. She leans over and looks out the window as she sees him backing out of the driveway.
[Chorus] I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, I can feel it I know you gone mess up
Keri gets out of bed and walks to throw on an Asian designer trench coat with a fidora, glances in the mirror by the front door, grabs her keys and hops in her car.
Wow, you really turn me on So I, I really hope I’m wrong [whoa] It would break my world If you ain’t true to me, yea But I’m not the silly girl I used to be And I Know how it goes yea
She comes to a light and sees his car outside of a massage parlor. Shot switches to her walking through the parlor looking for her guy. She catches him getting a massage in one of the rooms and she rubs her hands down his back. He pops up to look around but Keri is gone and in her car back home
[Pre-Chorus] Dude’s out here think they slick Got a lot of girls on they (dadadadada) And they can’t say no Steady telling me they ain’t you I’ma wait to see what you gone do Hope you know you got a good thing, yea
[Chorus] I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, I can feel it I know you gone mess up
I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, Its gone happen I know you gone mess up
Fast forward technique to push the story ahead a few hours. Scene stops at Keri fighting with a guy while she is wearing a kimono. The fight is brief and he walks out of the house. With Keri walking along the window of the house. Shot cuts to Keri walking along the glass window of an Asian restaurant with her “guy” sitting at a dinner table obviously waiting for someone for dinner. She is on her Inspector Black Chick trying to get a better view of him. The entire restaurant is filled with guys sitting at tables by themselves with an all female staff.
I, I love the way we fight so So, I hope this is all in my mind (hope it’s in my mind) Baby don’t you know It would break my world, if you ain’t true to me yea But I’m not the silly girl I used to be See I know how it goes
The servers in the restaurant and random staff members throughout the dining area join in for choreography. Some women are private detectives with cameras and notepads. The servers are performing choreography around the guy’s table that they are servicing, every guy but Keri’s. The servers collect glasses, and utensils CSI style and places them in an evidence bag, placed back on the serving tray and exit the dining area.
[Pre-Chorus] Dude’s out here think they slick Got a lot of girls on they (dadadadada) But they don’t say no Steady telling me they ain’t you I’ma wait to see what u gone do Hope you know you got a good thing cause I,
[Chorus] I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, I can feel it I know you gone mess up
I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, Its gone happen I know you gone mess up
Then you see everything go pitch black, when a spotlight pops up over one guy like an interrogation lamp. Keri walks up to the two-way window and her silhouette is seen dancing directly in front of her guy. Snippets of individual female detectives come into the light surrounding him.
Your gonna get too comfortable (you gone mess up) Gonna want something new babe (you gone mess up) Your gonna be just like the rest (you gone mess up) It’s gonna be you babe before me
They release him and he is free to leave. Keri is seen in a designer trench coat walking behind him out of the police station. He gets to his car and pulls off before her. She runs to her car and speeds off.
I trust my heart, broke down my guard I worked so hard to take good care of you
I trust my heart, broke down my guard I worked so hard, I hope it ain’t true
Keri begins to say this next part into her rear view mirror. She pulls up next to him, glances over, and then runs through a red light and he stops. She makes it home before him.
Look at me You wanna miss all this? Go ‘head Bring that back Whoa [3x]
As he reaches for the front door, Keri opens it in her Kimono and takes his hand to lead him upstairs.
It’s in my mind Whoa [3x] Hope its in my mind
There is a pan in shot of a photo in her bag of him sitting at the table in the restaurant by himself and then a figure of a woman fades into view in the chair across from him. She has on a fidora to cover her face and the video ends.
Yeh…I know. Wild and all over the place. But this has that Carmen San Diego feel about it. A woman detective going on a hunch. That inner voice telling her that something isn’t right. And though she may not have the proof… it’s there. So, that was my take on it…. did you like it?
Check back tomorrow when I ask my 200 Men about the 2 things they wish that women would stop doing. How does that tie into intuition? Well, we already know as women what we want guys to stop or start doing…so why not hear from them. Maybe these are the things that make them misbehave which in turn peaks our intuition. [Will insert Link here]
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WARNING: SUPER LONG BLOG, BUT HONEST & INSIGHTFUL!!!!
Ignorance is bliss. It is also the gateway for you to get Punk’d. For Ashton, prior to allegations of his cheating on Demi, and his entire camera crew to walk right into your relationship and rob you of any stability that you once thought you had. Except for this time, Ashton is dressed in 4 inch heels, rocking a Prada dress so short she could catch pneumonia in her good-goods, while sexting the person you said “I love you” to 5 minutes ago or “I do” to 24 hours ago…and her name is Ashley, or Kendra, or Stephony, Latrell, Keisha, Tanisha, Tabitha, a low-life hoe named Angel, Bootasia…..etc. You catch my drift. For this blog, the aforementioned home wreckers shall be called OWs (Other Women). All OWs are assumed innocent until proven hoochies.
The odds of your man cheating on you are about as high of a possibility as him enjoying himself as he “exfoiliates” his genital region in the shower each morning. With such a high possibility, the probability of this happening lowers by the set of morals that your man has, how many fugly women are in your community, and how ugly your man is to the beautiful women in the community. The stakes are raised,however, by the number of desperate women there are, your man’s income (despite how unattractive he is), and any rumors that may be in circulation about his sexual accomplishments. Since the latter scenario is higher than the prior…toss in a bitter black woman &, honey….. your man might cheat.
But what is cheating to you? To the insecure broad, cheating could be him turning his head in the direction of a beautiful woman as she sashays by her man in the mall. To the “I don’t need a man, but be happy that I chose you” woman, cheating may be him assisting a woman with her grocery bags to the car…I mean after all, his hands were free since his woman chose to do it all herself. To the average woman, cheating could be him sharing himself emotionally with another female, showing a side of himself that he has never shown to her. But to every woman….cheating also means any form of sexual contact or interaction with a woman other than the one who claims you ( on or off the record). Wow…. each scenario is like Melanie’s & Derwin’s entire relationship on The Game.
Note to the fellas: If we slept together…. we go together!
My advice to all of the above are as follows:
Dear Insecure Broad, what the hell is wrong with you? She is beautiful, yes. But the turning of your man’s head does NOT, I repeat to the self-esteem challenged, does NOT equate to infidelity. It lets you know that all of your man’s man parts are working. And if you thought she was cute, and he thought she was cute too, then damn… y’all agree on something. Which means, if you think that you are cute + she was cute + he thought she was cute then that may = him thinking that you are cute too. Instead of jumping on the dude and starting to count his condoms ( please tell me you use condoms!!!) take this as an opportunity to eavesdrop on what it is that catches your man’s attention. But do NOT take this as an opportunity to alter your physical or personal style to match, just take inventory, and store it for that special moment; almost like a treat. Of course, there is an exception, if your guy turns his head and forgets to turn it back in your direction… then you have reason to think that he is disrespectful, but until then… chill like Jada does when Will checks out beautiful women. She’s not trippin…because he isn’t going ANYWHERE!
Dear Next Millenium Bionic Woman, why are you even with a man if there is nothing that he can do for you? There is a thin line in being independent and competent and being borderline butch. Unless your name is Craig and his is Earl, there is only ONE penis in this relationship…allow his to hang, have some breathing room to sway, and do what it is that he was designed to do. Yes, men should love strong women…I get that, but if you are too strong they may be tempted to check for an Adam’s apple or flee. Just chill….you and I both know that women can do any and everything that we want to do, the catch is to not let HIM know that, or remind him all the damn time. This will definitely turn a seemingly innocent act of chivalry ( assisting with groceries) into a weekly rendezvous in the produce aisle. Your man assisting another woman should get you hot… not hot-headed but…turned on, just because you know that every woman wants a man like yours. Dont be so strong that you assist in giving him a hand in jumping over the fence to greener pastures, nor get so laid-back that you turn in to chick from #1. Think…. Charlize Theron in Hancock!
Dear Average Woman, Men are not emotional creatures…….to us. They cry in the dark and throw their feelings into the very same closets that R Kelly hides his midget porn. Get over it. They still have feelings, and just be thankful that he has found a healthy person to share his emotions with. Trust me, I know that it hurts like hell because you want to be there to share everything with him… but as long as she only gives him a shoulder to lean on to express himself, then baby..yeh I’ll say it again….get over it. It doesn’t mean that he is cheating, it just means that you have YET to learn this side of him. There are things you tell your girlfriends that you don’t tell him…. TRUST ME. I know for a fact that you didn’t tell your man your thoughts about the size of the strippers’ worthy of mentioning unmentionables from Asia’s bachelorette party. So, as long as he is still communicating with you, just let that be his safe haven until he is on his death-bed and reveals that he absolutely hates your cooking but loves you for the attempt. You mustn’t also forget the billions of times he tried to tell you the truth, you didn’t listen and swore he was lying anyway…. that, too, may be the reason he doesn’t tell you -ish.Just saying…. don’t shoot the OW, learn how to listen.
Girl…. WHat?! That N!&&@ did what?!!!!Cheated with an OW?!*sharpens Cutco, puts on Vaseline, *Hair in pony tail. Puts on CSI crime scene, able to catch my DNA, approved vest and grabs Lorraina Bobbet Emergency Kit. Next.
I know for a fact that there are several more scenarios, but I havent gotten to that portion of my therapy sessions yet, so these will have to do. And I know you are wondering how do I know these things… well… I was once …well… the enemy. Yes, I was once an OW. Much to my defense, not that I need any because I know how to fight… & WELL…. ask about me. Dang, where was I? Oh, yeh…. much to my defense, I didn’t even know that I was the OW ( The Fantasia Defense). So I learned several tricks of the trade from being on the other side of the fence. If nothing more I learned:
UNLESS THE OW IS A FAMILY MEMBER< BEST FRIEND<THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED BY MARRIAGE ON YOUR PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER’S SIDE……. DONT YOU EVER TAKE YOUR DRAMA TO THE DOORSTEP OF THE OW!!!!!!
Unless she comes to your doorstep bringing the pain…. you keep within restraining order distance away from her. There are several reasons:
1. You are NOT sleeping with the OW. She didn’t break your heart, break any vows, or directly give you an STD. She may not have even known you existed.
2. Fussing with the OW gets your man off the hook. He learns NOTHING. Actually, he is banking on telling you that she has lost her mind and is just a groupie, and that he told her several times to stop calling him. STOP… wait a minute… how did she even get his number? And “I DONT KNOW” does not suffice as an answer. (Exception to the rule: There are some crazy females out there.. trust in your man , your relationship, and your inner female intuition to see if this number actually applies to you. If by chance she is crazy, collect $200 for bail money, go past GO & I give you permission to whoop that trick!)
3. Fighting with her makes you come up out the pocket and let both her and him know that you are now hurt. This is war woman, you don’t let the enemy know you are coming. SHUT UP AND PLAY THE WAY BIG MAMA TAUGHT YOU HOW TO PLAY; tight thighs , and even tighter lips with clenched fists.
4. You need to be a big girl and face what is really going on. Beating up some random chick Jerry Springer style will only make you feel better momentarily.
All of this to say…. you have to think like us. And as a smart OW…I held on to evidence from 2004! Real talk, I have Yahoo! Messenger conversations still on floppy disk….lmbo!!!! There’s nothing like a swift Facebook note containing evidence of something he once said in a playerlistic manner to ruin his whole damn day! lol. Sorry, that got funny as I had a flash back. Keep us close, meaning us OWs. It’s when you can’t see us that we are able to do the most damage. I can say this now as a looooooooong ago reformed OW. It is never my intent to be an OW, but should the situation arise… you respect me and I shall respect you. Hell… I’ll even help you torch the cheating son of biscuit eating bulldog. But it is when you disrespect me ( assuming that I’ve been respectful) that your cards will come crashing down faster than you can get the panties off of Montana Fishburne, My cousin, and Paris Hilton in a panty dropping contest. Believe me, my cousin is FAST, my money is on her! Again, you ladies would NOT believe the things that your guy tells us, in efforts to make us think that he is single, the marriage isn’t working, you’ve changed, and the list goes on. For example (actual messages below from a guy not too long after he got married. The identity of the stupid has been changed to protect the innocent):
4:16:29 PMStupid Dude###336: i had just looked at your profile before i went to sleep (why is this guy who is married stalking my profile before he went to sleep?)
4:24:13 PMStupid Dude###336: i know I am married and I have a good woman by my side… 4:24:55 PMStupid Dude###336: but I had a great woman when I was with you and I miss my great woman
4:27:25 PMStupid Dude###336: i’m happy with what I have here but I always will wonder what if (then if you are happy…. why are you always trying to get me into romantic conversations? I’m not falling for it playa! My game is stronger than yours, besides… I’ve moved on & let you go a long time ago)
4:29:06 PMStupid Dude###336: i understand that you let go 4:29:16 PMStupid Dude###336: but dammit it’s not easy to let go 4:29:27 PMStupid Dude###336: i try and try but i can’t (well try a little harder buddy…b/c it ant happening here!)
Yadda yadda yadda. We discuss how he has a history of not really being faithful. How he treats women, and I congratulate him on finally settling down & getting married. The conversation then goes:
4:30:17 PMMe: but I applaud [her] for being that woman who finally got you to do it 4:30:35 PMStupid Dude###336: she didn’t get me to do it 4:30:51 PMMe: no, meaning that she loved you to a point where you felt the need to do it 4:31:13 PMStupid Dude###336: lol…you don’t understand
4:31:33 PMStupid Dude###336: i felt that I would never get you back… and I…..SETTLED
Yes, you read correctly. The negro said he settled with his wife. But nothing beats my favorite! My friend told me that a guy once told her that the only reason he married his wife was because he “ran out of rope”! lmao!He was an older gentleman and didn’t want to waste two more years getting into another relationship and he didn’t want to be an old father, so he married his current girlfriend even though he didn’t love her. But I digress. I continue to go on to say how foul he is, this isn’t right, she doesn’t deserve this, the nerve of this nigga [pardon my Ebonics]!!!!! etc. I mean, did he really think that saying this about his NEW wife was going to make me drop all common sense and take him back? I mean really, if you would say this about your wife….what they hell do you say behind my back about me? But as I said, you would be amazed at what they tell us….continue….
4:36:05 PMStupid Dude###336: So in saying that ,I am glad I settled because it took for me to settle to realize what a good woman I have…
4:37:19 PMStupid Dude###336: I don’t treat her like i used to, i try to do everything [in] my power to show her on a daily basis that I love her, but in the back of my mind I always wonder what if
So you see, from what I posted, and from what I REFUSE to post…. we hear it all. And this is the PG stuff that I can post. I never wanted him back after seeing how he still treated women, but that didn’t keep him from trying to turn me into an OW. Even if I didn’t know that the other girl existed… I highly doubt that I would have dated this person again. Just something about him rings “lie”. OWs become the other person because the guy feels that he is missing out on something. He gets greedy, or gets scared of commitment and he freaks out and goes in search of an OW. He said everything above, I don’t have the power in me as an OW to make him say this…..much like you don’t have the power to keep him around if he doesn’t want to stay. You have to look out for you…because that is EXACTLY what an OW and your man are doing. Why should you be the only one not being taken care of? But I digress…back to the advice.
Outside of the obvious, don’t tell your woes to an OW. A reformed OW will tell you to think it out on your own, dig inside your heart and think about what is best for you and your future…. a triffling OW will prompt you to unlock the door so she can help you pack your ish as she cases out how her earring collection will look beautiful on the bedroom dresser. To be honest, I wouldn’t even tell my friends how bad my relationship had gotten unless my husband was OJ, Manson, or George W Bush. There are some things, ladies, that you need to learn to keep to yourself. Because you never know who you could be helping to creep all up and through your situation. An OW doesnt need any additional help, because he’s quick to tell us what it is that you don’t do:
5:08:20 PMStupid Dude###336: i actually sat there last nite and tried to find [what i liked in you ,in her] but y’all are 2 totally different people 5:08:42 PMMe: you can go play basketball with her, watch sports, go to the club, crack jokes, make nicknames…I don’t do anything special 5:09:28 PMStupid Dude###336: she doesn’t play basketball, she doesn’t club, and she doesn’t watch sports for real 5:10:38 PMMe: I don’t play basketball..I don’t club, and I dont watch sports for real.. you see how much in common we have 5:11:04 PMStupid Dude###336: we did all of that…lol 5:11:30 PMMe: hahahaha… I dont have any basketball skills…lol. that was pretend 5:11:35 PMMe: I am sure she can do better than me 5:12:02 PMStupid Dude###336: that’s not the point…you got out there and you played ball with me
And even faster at telling us how much he dreams about us:
5:25:19 PMStupid Dude###336: we started kissing and you were unbuttoning my shirt and a nigga woke up 5:25:38 PMMe: lol 5:25:48 PMStupid Dude###336: I remember all that cause [wife’s name] said I was moaning in my sleep 5:25:57 PMMe: wow!!!!! 5:26:12 PMMe: now watch me get blamed for that mess
And even when the OW stays in her place, reminds him of what they really are and that nothing more can happen… the man will try reverse psychology:
6:27:24 PMMe: any time , friend 6:27:37 PMStupid Dude###336: i don’t even want that title 6:27:46 PMMe: why, friend? 6:27:55 PMStupid Dude###336: i come at you like you are doing wrong but you aren’t 6:28:19 PMStupid Dude###336: i try to make it seem like all i want is a friend when i know that all I want is you 6:28:24 PMStupid Dude###336: by my side 6:28:31 PMStupid Dude###336: i’m sorry 6:28:34 PMMe: friend, I can stand beside you 6:28:43 PMStupid Dude###336: stop calling me that 6:28:49 PMMe: and apology accepted for your confusing yourself 6:29:12 PMMe: and I will think about [if I will] stop calling you my friend 6:29:32 PMMe: but i have to say it so I can stay in my place, to stay where I need to be 6:29:55 PMStupid Dude###336: well maybe that’s not where you need to be 6:29:56 PMMe: to remain safe in these dangerous conversations that we keep having, which is so not fair to anyone involved 6:30:07 PMStupid Dude###336: true
And when he saw that I wasnt budging…. he went back in for the kill. The ” I will tell you how horrible my situation is, even if it really isnt, just so that you can change your mind and do what I want you to do” move. Yes… I call this the “Extra Desperate To Think I’m This Dumb” Tactic:
6:45:59 PM Stupid Dude###336: you have accomplishments…i have a marriage license that don’t mean shit
6:46:08 PM Me: why doesnt it mean shit
6:46:14 PM Me: it is a marriage license.
6:46:37 PM Stupid Dude###336: because the marriage isn’t shit…we don’t do shit for real
6:46:46 PM Stupid Dude###336: you have accomplishments i don’t
6:47:04 PM Me: I have accomplishments because I refuse to SETTLE!!!!!
6:47:08 PM Stupid Dude###336: I won’t be able to have a family
6:47:17 PM Stupid Dude###336: just a wife
6:48:03 PM Stupid Dude###336: you will have your accomplishments, your husband, and a family…
6:48:13 PM Stupid Dude###336: you say you won’t but i believe you will
Zinger……3 hours later….he just nailed his own coffin….all in hopes of having an OW by his side. He could be lying through his teeth, and very well may have been…..but either way, his words have consequences. I consider this desperate. I know he doesn’t respect his wife…..and he damn sure doesn’t respect me. But this is nothing unusual in the life of an OW. They will stop at NOTHING to try to get us. Some fall for this, the rest of us…. we don’t. But the smart ones keep the evidence for sour, bitter days like today. When you get tired of holding on to someone else’s dirty laundry and you finally decide for them to wash their own emotional shit!
And I am not innocent in all of this. I said some things here or there that I probably shouldn’t have. But before every conversation was concluded, like this excerpt from another conversation, I let him know how cool I really was with his wife and why nothing could ever go down. Yes,I’m cool with the wife…..dont ask, long story, out of the ordinary, but the girl is mad cool. So I once said to him, (and this is speaking from truth)
5:11:21 PM Me: You would flinch if you knew the number of times that I have plotted to get you away from [wife] and then had to pray for forgiveness because it was only out of jealousy to the fact that she had something that I didnt
5:11:34 PM Me: dude… you better be Glad the Lord is always talking to me
5:11:35 PM Me: lol
5:12:05 PM Stupid Dude###336: You would flinch if you knew the number of times that I have wanted you to get you away from [wife]
5:12:30 PM Me: you wanted me to get away from [wife], or you to get away from [wife]?
5:12:52 PM Stupid Dude###336: i wanted you
5:13:26 PM Me: nah, I wouldn’t flinch… you said it.. the truth of the matter is I didnt believe it because you werent bold nor stupid enough to take measures to follow through with it
5:13:39 PM Me: and the funny thing is.. I am too cool with [wife] to even let you do it.
5:13:47 PM Stupid Dude###336: i hear ya….
5:14:34 PM Me: I dont think that she talks about me behind my back, but I wouldnt be surprised because she has every reason to do so… I’m your ex….but I still will never do anything from my side to give her [reason] to
5:53:17 PM Stupid Dude###336: i mean when you say that you wish you never married me then how do you expect that i would feel?
5:53:36 PM Me: ouch
5:53:42 PM Me: that is between you… and her
5:54:18 PM Me: I want to steer as far away from that conversation as humanly possible.. for soooooo many reasons
5:55:26 PM Me: bathroom break..brb
5:56:12 PM Stupid Dude###336: if u get mad at me for talking fly to other females but then you talking waaay more fly to other guys and even after we got married then what….
5:58:47 PM Me: again
5:58:56 PM Me: I am staying faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from that conversation
5:59:03 PM Stupid Dude###336: lol…my bad
5:59:29 PM Me: I am not touching that one with a ten foot pole…… just not gonna do it
As you can see, my advice comes from a collage of personal experiences from different relationships and from watching other friends become OWs knowingly or unknowingly. Either way, I sympathize with any woman in a relationship. There is a lure about an OW that keeps the man interested, that keeps his inner hunter wondering if he can capture a woman, and the thrill of the chase and not getting caught. Oddly enough, it doesn’t mean that he loves you any less, it just means that he doesn’t love himself enough to know that working with one great woman is better than having two who hate you. I didn’t invent the game, but several years ago I learned how to play it, and got out before I got burned. I was the main woman trying to keep all of the OWs away and failed miserably, and then he turned around and tried to make me the OW. I wouldn’t let it happen, kept him in the friend zone. But other guys have made me the OW by omitting that they are already in relationships and then me finding out from Myspace, Facebook, or email, or the good old fashion female calling my house cussing me out. So I thought that I would share this with women who are in relationships…..you have to think like your enemy…..that is the only way you will ever win. Pride aside, the best woman doesn’t always win. Sometimes, losing, as in losing your relationship… could be the best thing to ever happen to you, and you will have an OW to thank.
My intention is not to shock, hurt, damage or destroy any relationship. This is my blog and I write what I want to write as a part of my therapy… and this just happened to be the topic of the day. So don’t blame me if any of these issues show up in your current situation… I AM NOT THE OW. My suggestion is that,since it is my right to write about my life, if you don’t want to show up in a blog…I suggest you don’t do me dirty…lol. You may not like what I have written, why I chose to write this, or the fact that I even wrote it… but you have to respect the fact that I told the truth. Come hell or high water, I wish someone would have explained OWs to me before my life got snatched from under me. This is like the Confessions of the OW….lol. Men, I swear… can’t live with them, and get 20 years to life without parole if you try to live without them. lmbo!
This has been Advice from the Other Woman…..comments are welcome.
A man’s arch nemesis has been and will ALWAYS be a woman’s intuition. I think it was apart of the deal when he snatched Adam’s rib. His rib contained 10% of Adam’s DNA which was a divine tracking device and lie detector. It lets the woman know when something isn’t right even when she can’t quite put a finger on it. I can’t describe it, but it is the oddest feeling in the entire world. She could just be sitting there when all of a sudden something tells her to call her man…..while on the other side of town he is getting his freak on with her best friend. Yes, it is like a face off between Batman and the Riddler. It is just this feeling…..
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 