The Game~ Game Over

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

Episode 11: Baby, Baby Please

 

        Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.

     I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*.  But…..on to the Finale.

        Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.

        Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!

       Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?!  But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.

        Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol

        WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.

        Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff.  Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back  next season and fix it.

        SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me.  WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.

        Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.

Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~Baby, Baby Please

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

        Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.

        Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.

       Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.

       Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.

         Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.

           Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.

       NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!

       Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*

       LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass!  I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.

       Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is  calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.

       NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch.  It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ The Redemption

 

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.

        Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.

So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea).  And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!

        AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao!  I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.

Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.

        And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick?  Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.

Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.

        DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed  Malik’s magic stick.

        Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.

        AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.

WTF?!!!A Commercial?

         Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!

         MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!

         So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.

         Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week.  And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Advice from the Other Woman

WARNING: SUPER LONG BLOG, BUT HONEST & INSIGHTFUL!!!!

       Ignorance is bliss. It is also the gateway for you to get Punk’d. For Ashton, prior to allegations of his cheating on Demi, and his entire camera crew to walk right into your relationship and rob you of any stability that you once thought you had. Except for this time, Ashton is dressed in 4 inch heels, rocking a Prada dress so short she could catch pneumonia in her good-goods, while sexting the person you said “I love you” to 5 minutes ago or “I do” to 24 hours ago…and her name is Ashley, or Kendra, or Stephony, Latrell, Keisha, Tanisha, Tabitha, a low-life hoe named Angel, Bootasia…..etc. You catch my drift. For this blog, the aforementioned home wreckers shall be called OWs (Other Women). All OWs are assumed innocent until proven hoochies.

        The odds of your man cheating on you are about as high of a possibility as him enjoying  himself as he “exfoiliates” his genital region in the shower each morning.  With such a high possibility, the probability of this happening lowers by the set of morals that your man has, how many fugly women are in your community, and how ugly your man is to the beautiful women in the community. The stakes are raised,however, by the number of desperate women there are, your man’s income (despite how unattractive he is), and any rumors that may be in circulation about his sexual accomplishments. Since the latter scenario is higher than the prior…toss in a bitter black woman &, honey….. your man might cheat.

        But what is cheating to you? To the insecure broad, cheating could be him turning his head in the direction of a beautiful woman as she sashays by her man in the mall. To the “I don’t need a man, but be happy that I chose you” woman, cheating may be him assisting a woman with her grocery bags to the car…I mean after all, his hands were free since his woman chose to do it all herself. To the average woman, cheating could be him sharing himself emotionally with another female, showing a side of himself that he has never shown to her. But to every woman….cheating also means any form of sexual contact or interaction with a woman other than the one who claims you ( on or off the record). Wow…. each scenario is like Melanie’s & Derwin’s entire relationship on The Game.

Note to the fellas: If we slept together…. we go together!

My advice to all of the above are as follows:

1. Dear Insecure Broad, what the hell is wrong with you? She is beautiful, yes. But the turning of your man’s head does NOT, I repeat to the self-esteem challenged, does NOT equate to infidelity. It lets you know that all of your man’s man parts are working. And if you thought she was cute, and he thought she was cute too, then damn… y’all agree on something. Which means, if you think that you are cute + she was cute + he thought she was cute then that may = him thinking that you are cute too. Instead of jumping on the dude and starting to count his condoms ( please tell me you use condoms!!!) take this as an opportunity to eavesdrop on what it is that catches your man’s attention. But do NOT take this as an opportunity to alter your physical or personal style to match, just take inventory, and store it for that special moment; almost like a treat. Of course, there is an exception, if your guy turns his head and forgets to turn it back in your direction… then you have reason to think that he is disrespectful, but until then… chill like Jada does when Will checks out beautiful women. She’s not trippin…because he isn’t going ANYWHERE!

   Dear Next Millenium Bionic Woman, why are you even with a man if there is nothing that he can do for you? There is a thin line in being independent and competent and being borderline butch. Unless your name is Craig and his is Earl, there is only ONE penis in this relationship…allow his to hang, have some breathing room to sway, and do what it is that he was designed to do.  Yes, men should love strong women…I get that, but if you are too strong they may be tempted to check for an Adam’s apple or flee. Just chill….you and I both know that women can do any and everything that we want to do, the catch is to not let HIM know that, or remind him all the damn time. This will definitely turn a seemingly innocent act of chivalry ( assisting with groceries) into a weekly rendezvous in the produce aisle. Your man assisting another woman should get you hot… not hot-headed but…turned on, just because you know that every woman wants a man like yours. Dont be so strong that you assist in giving him a hand in jumping over the fence to greener pastures, nor get so laid-back that you turn in to chick from #1. Think…. Charlize Theron in Hancock!

   Dear Average Woman, Men are not emotional creatures…….to us. They cry in the dark and throw their feelings into the very same closets that R Kelly hides his midget porn. Get over it. They still have feelings, and just be thankful that he has found a healthy person to share his emotions with. Trust me, I know that it hurts like hell because you want to be there to share everything with him… but as long as she only gives him a shoulder to lean on to express himself, then baby..yeh I’ll say it again….get over it. It doesn’t mean that he is cheating, it just means that you have YET to learn this side of him. There are things you tell your girlfriends that you don’t tell him…. TRUST ME. I know for a fact that you didn’t tell your man your thoughts about the size of the strippers’ worthy of mentioning unmentionables from Asia’s bachelorette party. So, as long as he is still communicating with you, just let that be his safe haven until he is on his death-bed and reveals that he absolutely hates your cooking but loves you for the attempt. You mustn’t also forget the billions of times he tried to tell you the truth, you didn’t listen and swore he was lying anyway…. that, too, may be the reason he doesn’t tell you -ish.Just saying…. don’t shoot the OW, learn how to listen.

   Girl…. WHat?! That N!&&@ did what?!!!! Cheated with an OW?!*sharpens Cutco, puts on Vaseline, *Hair in pony tail. Puts on CSI crime scene, able to catch my DNA, approved vest and grabs Lorraina Bobbet Emergency Kit. Next.

       I know for a fact that there are several more scenarios, but I havent gotten to that portion of my therapy sessions yet, so these will have to do.  And I know you are wondering how do I know these things… well… I was once …well… the enemy. Yes, I was once an OW. Much to my defense, not that I need any because I know how to fight… & WELL…. ask about me. Dang, where was I? Oh, yeh…. much to my defense, I didn’t even know that I was the OW ( The Fantasia Defense).  So I learned several tricks of the trade from being on the other side of the fence. If nothing more I learned:

UNLESS THE OW IS A FAMILY MEMBER< BEST FRIEND<THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED BY MARRIAGE ON YOUR PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER’S SIDE……. DONT YOU EVER TAKE YOUR DRAMA TO THE DOORSTEP OF THE OW!!!!!!

       Unless she comes to your doorstep bringing the pain…. you keep within restraining order distance away from her. There are several reasons:

1. You are NOT sleeping with the OW. She didn’t break your heart, break any vows, or directly give you an STD. She may not have even known you existed.

2. Fussing with the OW gets your man off the hook. He learns NOTHING. Actually, he is banking on telling you that she has lost her mind and is just a groupie, and that he told her several times to stop calling him. STOP… wait a minute… how did she even get his number? And “I DONT KNOW” does not suffice as an answer. (Exception to the rule: There are some crazy females out there.. trust in your man , your relationship, and your inner female intuition to see if this number actually applies to you.  If by chance she is crazy, collect $200 for bail money, go past GO & I give you permission to whoop that trick!)

3. Fighting with her makes you come up out the pocket and let both her and him know that you are now hurt. This is war woman, you don’t let the enemy know you are coming. SHUT UP AND PLAY THE WAY BIG MAMA TAUGHT YOU HOW TO PLAY; tight thighs , and even tighter lips with clenched fists.

4. You need to be a big girl and face what is really going on. Beating up some random chick Jerry Springer style will only make you feel better momentarily.

       All of this to say…. you have to think like us. And as a smart OW…I held on to evidence from 2004! Real talk, I have Yahoo! Messenger conversations still on floppy disk….lmbo!!!! There’s nothing like a swift Facebook note containing evidence of something he once said in a playerlistic manner to ruin his whole damn day! lol. Sorry, that got funny as I had a flash back. Keep us close, meaning us OWs. It’s when you can’t see us that we are able to do the most damage. I can say this now as a looooooooong ago reformed OW. It is never my intent to be an OW, but should the situation arise… you respect me and I shall respect you. Hell… I’ll even help you torch the cheating son of biscuit eating bulldog. But it is when you disrespect me ( assuming that I’ve been respectful) that your cards will come crashing down faster than you can get the panties off of Montana Fishburne, My cousin, and Paris Hilton in a panty dropping contest. Believe me, my cousin is FAST, my money is on her!  Again, you ladies would NOT believe the things that your guy tells us, in efforts to make us think that he is single, the marriage isn’t working, you’ve changed, and the list goes on. For example (actual messages below from a guy not too long after he got married. The identity of the stupid has been changed to protect the innocent):

• 4:16:29 PM Stupid Dude###336: i had just looked at your profile before i went to sleep (why is this guy who is married stalking my profile before he went to sleep?)
• 4:24:13 PM Stupid Dude###336: i know I am married and I have a good woman by my side…
  4:24:55 PM Stupid Dude###336: but I had a great woman when I was with you and I miss my great woman
• 4:27:25 PM Stupid Dude###336: i’m happy with what I have here but I always will wonder what if (then if you are happy…. why are you always trying to get me into romantic conversations? I’m not falling for it playa! My game is stronger than yours, besides… I’ve moved on & let you go a long time ago)
• 4:29:06 PM Stupid Dude###336: i understand that you let go
  4:29:16 PM Stupid Dude###336: but dammit it’s not easy to let go
  4:29:27 PM Stupid Dude###336: i try and try but i can’t (well try a little harder buddy…b/c it ant happening here!)

       Yadda yadda yadda. We discuss how he has a history of not really being faithful. How he treats women, and I congratulate him on finally settling down & getting married. The conversation then goes:

• 4:30:17 PM Me: but I applaud [her] for being that woman who finally got you to do it
  4:30:35 PM Stupid Dude###336: she didn’t get me to do it
  4:30:51 PM Me: no, meaning that she loved you to a point where you felt the need to do it
  4:31:13 PM Stupid Dude###336: lol…you don’t understand
• 4:31:33 PM Stupid Dude###336: i felt that I would never get you back… and I…..SETTLED

       Yes, you read correctly. The negro said he settled with his wife. But nothing beats my favorite! My friend told me that a guy once told her that the only reason he married his wife was because he “ran out of rope”! lmao!He was an older gentleman and didn’t want to waste two more years getting into another relationship and he didn’t want to be an old father, so he married his current girlfriend even though he didn’t love her. But I digress. I continue to go on to say how foul he is, this isn’t right, she doesn’t deserve this, the nerve of this nigga [pardon my Ebonics]!!!!! etc.  I mean, did he really think that saying this about his NEW wife was going to make me drop all common sense and take him back? I mean really, if you would say this about your wife….what they hell do you say behind my back about me? But as I said, you would be amazed at what they tell us….continue….

• 4:36:05 PM Stupid Dude###336: So in saying that ,I am glad I settled because it took for me to settle to realize what a good woman I have…
• 4:37:19 PM Stupid Dude###336: I don’t treat her like i used to, i try to do everything [in] my power to show her on a daily basis that I love her, but in the back of my mind I always wonder what if

       So you see, from what I posted, and from what I REFUSE to post…. we hear it all. And this is the PG stuff that I can post. I never wanted him back after seeing how he still treated women, but that didn’t keep him from trying to turn me into an OW. Even if I didn’t know that the other girl existed… I highly doubt that I would have dated this person again. Just something about him rings “lie”. OWs become the other person because the guy feels that he is missing out on something. He gets greedy, or gets scared of commitment and he freaks out and goes in search of an OW. He said everything above, I don’t have the power in me as an OW to make him say this…..much like you don’t have the power to keep him around if he doesn’t want to stay. You have to look out for you…because that is EXACTLY what an OW and your man are doing. Why should you be the only one not being taken care of? But I digress…back to the advice.

        Outside of the obvious, don’t tell your woes to an OW. A reformed OW will tell you to think it out on your own, dig inside your heart and think about what is best for you and your future…. a triffling OW will prompt you to unlock the door so she can help you pack your ish as she cases out how her earring collection will look beautiful on the bedroom dresser. To be honest, I wouldn’t even tell my friends how bad my relationship had gotten unless my husband was OJ, Manson, or George W Bush. There are some things, ladies, that you need to learn to keep to yourself. Because you never know who you could be helping to creep all up and through your situation. An OW doesnt need any additional help, because he’s quick to tell us what it is that you don’t do:

• 5:08:20 PM Stupid Dude###336: i actually sat there last nite and tried to find [what i liked in you ,in her] but y’all are 2 totally different people
  5:08:42 PM Me: you can go play basketball with her, watch sports, go to the club, crack jokes, make nicknames…I don’t do anything special
  5:09:28 PM Stupid Dude###336: she doesn’t play basketball, she doesn’t club, and she doesn’t watch sports for real
  5:10:38 PM Me: I don’t play basketball..I don’t club, and I dont watch sports for real.. you see how much in common we have
  5:11:04 PM Stupid Dude###336: we did all of that…lol
  5:11:30 PM Me: hahahaha… I dont have any basketball skills…lol. that was pretend
  5:11:35 PM Me: I am sure she can do better than me
  5:12:02 PM Stupid Dude###336: that’s not the point…you got out there and you played ball with me

And even faster at telling us how much he dreams about us:

• 5:25:19 PM Stupid Dude###336: we started kissing and you were unbuttoning my shirt and a nigga woke up
  5:25:38 PM Me: lol
  5:25:48 PM Stupid Dude###336: I remember all that cause [wife’s name] said I was moaning in my sleep
  5:25:57 PM Me: wow!!!!!
  5:26:12 PM Me: now watch me get blamed for that mess

       And even when the OW stays in her place, reminds him of what they really are and that nothing more can happen… the man will try reverse psychology:

• 6:27:24 PM Me: any time , friend
  6:27:37 PM Stupid Dude###336: i don’t even want that title
  6:27:46 PM Me: why, friend?
  6:27:55 PM Stupid Dude###336: i come at you like you are doing wrong but you aren’t
  6:28:19 PM Stupid Dude###336: i try to make it seem like all i want is a friend when i know that all I want is you
  6:28:24 PM Stupid Dude###336: by my side
  6:28:31 PM Stupid Dude###336: i’m sorry
  6:28:34 PM Me: friend, I can stand beside you
  6:28:43 PM Stupid Dude###336: stop calling me that
  6:28:49 PM Me: and apology accepted for your confusing yourself
  6:29:12 PM Me: and I will think about [if I will] stop calling you my friend
  6:29:32 PM Me: but i have to say it so I can stay in my place, to stay where I need to be
  6:29:55 PM Stupid Dude###336: well maybe that’s not where you need to be
  6:29:56 PM Me: to remain safe in these dangerous conversations that we keep having, which is so not fair to anyone involved
  6:30:07 PM Stupid Dude###336: true

       And when he saw that  I wasnt budging…. he went back in for the kill. The ” I will tell you how horrible my situation is, even if it really isnt, just so that you can change your mind and do what I want you to do” move. Yes… I call this the “Extra Desperate To Think I’m This Dumb” Tactic:

• 6:45:59 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you have accomplishments…i have a marriage license that don’t mean shit
  6:46:08 PM    Me: why doesnt it mean shit
  6:46:14 PM    Me: it is a marriage license.
  6:46:37 PM    Stupid Dude###336: because the marriage isn’t shit…we don’t do shit for real
  6:46:46 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you have accomplishments i don’t
  6:47:04 PM    Me: I have accomplishments because I refuse to SETTLE!!!!!
  6:47:08 PM    Stupid Dude###336: I won’t be able to have a family
  6:47:17 PM    Stupid Dude###336: just a wife
  6:48:03 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you will have your accomplishments, your husband, and a family…
  6:48:13 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you say you won’t but i believe you will

       Zinger……3 hours later….he just nailed his own coffin….all in hopes of having an OW by his side. He could be lying through his teeth, and very well may have been…..but either way, his words have consequences. I consider this desperate. I know he doesn’t respect his wife…..and he damn sure doesn’t respect me. But this is nothing unusual in the life of an OW. They will stop at NOTHING to try to get us. Some fall for this, the rest of us…. we don’t. But the smart ones keep the evidence for sour, bitter days like today. When you get tired of holding on to someone else’s dirty laundry and you finally decide for them to wash their own emotional shit!

       And I am not innocent in all of this. I said some things here or there that I probably shouldn’t have. But before every conversation was concluded, like this excerpt from another conversation, I let him know how cool I really was with his wife and why nothing could ever go down. Yes,I’m cool with the wife…..dont ask, long story, out of the ordinary, but the girl is mad cool. So I once said to him, (and this is speaking from truth)

• 5:11:21 PM      Me: You would flinch if you knew the number of times that I have plotted to get you away from [wife] and then had to pray for forgiveness because it was only out of jealousy to the fact that she had something that I didnt
  5:11:34 PM    Me: dude… you better be Glad the Lord is always talking to me
  5:11:35 PM    Me: lol
  5:12:05 PM    Stupid Dude###336: You would flinch if you knew the number of times that I have wanted you to get you away from [wife]
  5:12:30 PM    Me: you wanted me to get away from [wife], or you to get away from [wife]?
  5:12:52 PM    Stupid Dude###336: i wanted you
  5:13:26 PM    Me: nah, I wouldn’t flinch… you said it.. the truth of the matter is I didnt believe it because you werent bold nor stupid enough to take measures to follow through with it
  5:13:39 PM    Me: and the funny thing is.. I am too cool with [wife] to even let you do it.
  5:13:47 PM    Stupid Dude###336: i hear ya….
  5:14:34 PM    Me: I dont think that she talks about me behind my back, but I wouldnt be surprised because she has every reason to do so… I’m your ex….but I still will never do anything from my side to give her [reason] to
• 5:53:17 PM    Stupid Dude###336: i mean when you say that you wish you never married me then how do you expect that i would feel?
  5:53:36 PM    Me: ouch
  5:53:42 PM    Me: that is between you… and her
  5:54:18 PM    Me: I want to steer as far away from that conversation as humanly possible.. for soooooo many reasons
  5:55:26 PM    Me: bathroom break..brb
  5:56:12 PM    Stupid Dude###336: if u get mad at me for talking fly to other females but then you talking waaay more fly to other guys and even after we got married then what….
  5:58:47 PM    Me: again
  5:58:56 PM    Me: I am staying faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from that conversation
  5:59:03 PM    Stupid Dude###336: lol…my bad
  5:59:29 PM    Me: I am not touching that one with a ten foot pole…… just not gonna do it

       As you can see, my advice comes from a collage of personal experiences from different relationships and from watching other friends become OWs knowingly or unknowingly. Either way, I sympathize with any woman in a relationship. There is a lure about an OW that keeps the man interested, that keeps his inner hunter wondering if he can capture a woman, and the thrill of the chase and not getting caught. Oddly enough, it doesn’t mean that he loves you any less, it just means that he doesn’t love himself enough to know that working with one great woman is better than having two who hate you. I didn’t invent the game, but several years ago I learned how to play it, and got out before I got burned. I was the main woman trying to keep all of the OWs away and failed miserably, and then he turned around and tried to make me the OW. I wouldn’t let it happen, kept him in the friend zone. But other guys have made me the OW by omitting that they are already in relationships and then me finding out from Myspace, Facebook, or email, or the good old fashion female calling my house cussing me out. So I thought that I would share this with women who are in relationships…..you have to think like your enemy…..that is the only way you will ever win. Pride aside, the best woman doesn’t always win. Sometimes, losing, as in losing your relationship… could be the best thing to ever happen to you, and you will have an OW to thank.

       My intention is not to shock, hurt, damage or destroy any relationship. This is my blog and I write what I want to write as a part of my therapy… and this just happened to be the topic of the day. So don’t blame me if any of these issues show up in your current situation… I AM NOT THE OW. My suggestion is that,since it is my right to write about my life,  if you don’t want to show up in a blog…I suggest you don’t do me dirty…lol. You may not like what I have written, why I chose to write this, or the fact that I even wrote it… but you have to respect the fact that I told the truth. Come hell or high water, I wish someone would have explained OWs to me before my life got snatched from under me. This is like the Confessions of the OW….lol. Men, I swear… can’t live with them, and get 20 years to life without parole if you try to live without them. lmbo!

This has been Advice from the Other Woman…..comments are welcome.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Please, Pose In Rememberance of Me!!!

Ladies,

Ever turned on your PC/Mac, the computer and not the make-up, just wanting to cruise profile pics of a bunch of guys, or even innocently clicked on a profile to see who sent you the random and rather pointless “Poke”? Or have you ever been too afraid to open up an email while at work because you have no clue what kind of profile pic will pop up, or can’t bare to stomach being accosted by a too proud guy who has too much faith in his “God can’t be that cruel to give that as a gift to women” kind of body? Well, have no fear… I AM HERE. I, too, hate having this world be filled with guys who have no CLUE what it is that women want when it comes to internet introductions and profile presentations. Hopefully, this blog will help you. Women of the Jury I present to you……

Exhibit A: The good old Bike, pet, wall, random scenary..everything BUT a picture of who owns the page?

Fellas: This makes us wonder what you look like, but not in a good way. We don’t see the bike, and only a hoodrat/gold digger would ever care what kind of car or truck you drive. If you in fact want a real woman…..post a real picture of yourself. Pictures like this scream “Bike for Sale” or ugly dude trying to seduce me with this bike that he’s…putting up for sale. Either way, this is NOT doing whatever it is that you think it should do in order to get you a girl. This to us is the equivalent of a fat girl only taking pics from the chest up…. she’s hiding something and doesn’t want us to see it. Well… since you don’t want us to see it, why should we waste our time trying to get to know you? Being yourself is the best thing that you can be. If you post a real picture I will promise to tell the ladies to wear their real hair at least once a month so you can know what grade of hair your future children may inherit. Deal?

Exhibit B: The thug that’s too hard for the hood and has hood credit on a black card. The kind of guy who always has the pic filled with liquor, weed, other drug related references, t-shirts, posters, etc and may actually partake in the activity in the midst of taking a photo…yeh…. screams sexy doesn’t it?

Fellas: Really?!!!! You must ONLY want to be with weed heads, crack heads, chicken heads, bobble heads, potato heads….anything with a head.  Looking at this makes me wonder if I have loss any brain cells due to second-hand viewing. My name should be Gonorrhea, pronounced Go-nor-ray…get it right!, I should have 6.75 children & this is my 8th baby daddy. This to a REAL woman would get passed in a heartbeat. This is like a big butt to a caucasian woman…UNWANTED AND DEFINITELY NOT CUTE! You have visually taken away any sex appeal. A woman is now thinking about how gross it would be to kiss you because your kisses would taste like either weed or tobacco…sooo nasty. And I know we’re not to judge a book by its cover… but you have made the cover of this book so unappealing that I could care less what the book is about because if you don’t care about the cover, the content between the binders can’t be all that fulfilling either. First impressions are lasting impressions and this say HOOOOOOOOOOD! As in the mentality and not the place… you can live in the hood and turn out very well, but a hood mentality is nothing to brag about….not at this level anyway. This actually breaks my heart to see….NEXT.

Exhibit C: The riffle toting man branding himself un[F]witable as he holds his manhood in his hand, praying that no one researches his nonexistent gun license.

Fellas: Nothing says “Loving” like my Toasters Strudel & a sawed-off shotgun! *Pillsbury Doughboy laugh* Yeh, FAUX News posts news reels daily of guys who have lost their mind when their girl revokes access to the cookie. Guys stabbing, shooting, setting ablaze,bar-b-queing, and even boiling and serving for dinner a current or ex-girlfriend. I HIGHLY doubt that this would attract too many SANE girlfriends. If a girl asks you out from this picture alone, call the cops because she is planning to either set you up or kill you for an insurance policy. The appropriate way to display your pride in your gun collection is umm…. to NOT display it. Mention it on your profile, once you talk with the girl and get comfortable & see that she can handle you as a person and your love for the outdoors…THEN you ask her if it is okay to reveal a photo of you with a gun. Girls look at stuff like that far differently than guys do. You want a welcoming picture and not a “Jason asked Cheney if he could borrow his riffle” kind of pic. Women like a protector, but a protector from other things and not always posed to shoot her if she decided to surprise you with a kinky round of cops and robbers and winds up with a shell, not her undies, on the ground and a round in her butt [finish joke here].I don’t see YOU in this pic. I see a gun that I think you already love more than any woman who would enter your world. Is there a medical term for people who have intimate relationships with artillery?

Exhibit D: The “Not Quite Him” Guy: The guy who looks one way, swears in his head that he looks another way but denial has yet to be a word he can spell without assistance. You have to see the examples to know what I mean.

The Guy who was brave enough to take this pic even though he looks like THIS, because somewhere deep down in his disillusioned mind someone, or himself, said that he looks like…..

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT……

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT……

Okay now you can look……

They swore that he looked like THIS! Yes, THIS!

GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! I posted that pic and forgot where I was headed with this entire blog entry. Give me a minute for I have sinned-ed!!!!!!!! *Drools…….I should have kept up with his profile… [Blaspheme] smh.

I’m going to really have to take time away from this blog because I am really blank after that pic. All jokes aside… brb. lmbo!

LMBO!

.

ROTFL

.

ROTFLMBO

.

CTFU

.

ROTFCTFU

.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And any other combination of acronyms that you could come up with. Yes, I too am laughing at the fact that people who have NOOOOO business posing have the guts to post stuff like that. I know what he thought. The Top guy in Exhibit C was proud in his manhood.

Fellas: He forgot a very , VERY, very important lesson to remember…and that is that women are more MENTAL and not visual creatures like men. He is thinking from a MAN’s standpoint with this picture. You have taken away any fantasy that a woman may have by showing her what you ACTUALLY have….and I promise you what she was thinking was far better. Male strippers don’t have to work nor strip as hard as females because the male dancers know how to feed women a fantasy of what he has. Everyone knows he has a fluffer in the back and the list goes on….DONT TAKE AWAY MY FANTASY! Where this guy went wrong: 1. You have offended innocent women who did not ask to be flashed with an imprint of your genital area. 2. You have now told me what you think is the best thing that you have to offer. 3. If the smallest “area” of your entire being is the best that you have to offer why should I continue to try to get to know you? 4. Thanks for pushing any by standing children and teenagers into or further into puberty than had been planned by their parents. 5. Thanks for giving me hours of Twitter commentary and TwitPics. 6. How much self-esteem must you have that you do not care who has access to view your body….so even you don’t really view your “prized jewel” as a real gift. Since ANY woman viewing your page can see it…why should I think it was anything special for me to have? 7. Well at LEAST I know you’re not homophobic b/c ANYONE can view your pic. So you’re open minded…there’s one plus. 8. I had nothing else… I just hate odd numbers.lol.

So In conclusion……..

Fellas: Women still love to be wooed. We love for you to be fully clothed, on your best behaviour and putting your BEST foot forward. Majority of the pictures that we ACTUALLY see I couldn’t and WOULDNT post on my blog…well not today anyway. lol. But all of the pics I come across look as if you are more concerned with what your “boys” will think is cool if they saw your profile and has no regard whatsoever about what a possible prospective girlfriend would think if she looked at it. If your “boys” matter to you so much….. DATE YOUR BOYS! If that is not how you swing….and you genuinely and solely love women, present yoruself in a masculine manner that appeals to women; it can be done. Clean your bedroom up in the background. DONT POST A GROUP PHOTO AS YOUR PROFILE PIC!!!!! Dress in your every day gear but make sure you’re not sagging like a kid, write in proper sentences, use Punctuation and Capital letters…but not ALL CAPITAL LETTERS UNLESS YOU ARE YELLING OR MAKING A POINT! I’m not the best at punctuation, but please at least write in a way that shows me you are intelligent, made it past the 6th grade, and actually wish to impress me with your best. First impressions are all that we get sometimes…and just because this is the internet doesn’t mean that you get to rest on how you speak with a person. I’ll attack everything else in another blog… but this will bring you more REAL women in the meantime if you make these small profile pic changes. Trust me…..NOTHING ABOVE really attracted me..okay well the guy with the tatts made me forget a few things, but honestly I like the boy next door… a guy that looks like ummmm THIS:

 Beautiful smile…. simple. I know what he looks like, and although I don’t know him…. there is enough mystery here for me to send him a Wink, Poke, or a smiley face. He isn’t trying too hard to impress me, and I like that; a guy who is confident…or at least appears to be…in his own skin enough to the point where this pic was the one he chose to represent him. THIS is what will draw more women in than anything else you will ever hear your boys tell you women are attracted to. If you didn’t hear it from the kind of woman you are trying to attract…its a lie! So…. go remove those pics and post better ones. Happy Profiling!

Jury…court is adjourned

~My Mother’s Daughter