200 Men Said…. Get Tested

        First, before you read this, read my blog from last Monday~> Writer’s Block: Tsion the Wordsmith~Miss Valentine .

        As a female who lives in the AIDS/HIV Capital of the U.S.A,Washington, D.C.,  I am sooooooo big on this topic that you wouldn’t even believe the efforts that I go through to make sure that women understand what they are putting their bodies up for when having sex. I have to be up front ladies… the condom is NOT the man’s responsibility….alone. You, too, need to have two of each size condom ( just in case he should come up short) and you should also have dental dam. If the phrase “dental dam” just made you tilt your head Scooby style, then honey, you need to STOP having sex immediately because you are missing very important elements of sex education and sex preparation.

       Yes, I am grown enough to know that everyone is not safe all of the time. Now that we all have admitted to it, what do we plan to do about it? Ladies, how do you plan to protect yourself? As a woman, there have been times when I have gone and gotten tested and found out that my guy had sex with an ex the day I got tested which voided the results he showed me. Or the guy’s wife ( who lived in another state) saw pics of us on Myspace and wanted to know what i was doing with her husband….and I didn’t even know he was married…did I mentioned she lived in another state?! Or being with a guy who reveals that he use to like men. I don’t judge him… but this is information you need to tell me BEFORE we head down this road. So you see, preparing yourself with knowledge about your partner is just as important as if you put a condom in your purse or wallet. You need BOTH to be safe in the game of sex. Nothing is guaranteed. NOTHING!

        Using a condom but having oral sex without a dental damn makes about as much sense as you getting gas and pulling off with the tank wide the fuck open. Yes, I’m being a hypocrite…but, as a reformed hypocrite I have seen the errors of my ways and I wanted to step forth and be brave enough to talk about it. So yes, I get tested before EVERY guy I am with. Yes, I only have ONE sexual partner in a 12 month period….NO EXCEPTIONS! This is what I do, but even this is not enough if I don’t know the status of my partner. I need solid proof, like seeing his results or going to get tested with him. So, this is why I am celibate and have been for quite some time. I might set a fire if I cross my legs, but at least I am healthy.  HIV NEGATIVE!!!!!!

So, I asked my 200 men the following question: 

HIV/AIDS is high in certain communities. How often do you get tested? Have you ever gotten tested BEFORE sex with a person? DO you do the mouth swab or blood test?

And they came back with the following answers.

• Prestige “The One And Only”: Every three months, blood test.
• Allen Ozark: Yup Tested. Nope, not positive. in fact i have NEVER had any kind of STD … EVER! and i never will! I understand the whole aids / std epidemic, but i just don’t understand the whole aids / std epidemic. a true gentlemen never infects others.
• Lateef25: Every six months
• *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I get tested often, but it’s a requirement with my job to get tested every year. They have always taken my blood. I would not have unprotected sex without knowing the other person’s status.
• Aries Brotha: At least one a year. Yes. And it’s a rather moot right now as i’ve decided to reframe from having sex. Just dating.
• Kip S: I get tested every year. Yes, I’ve gotten tested before and after sex, typically blood test.
• RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]: well i only have one partner at a time. I don’t sleep around but i get tested every six months
• K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I HAVE BEEN TESTED. AIDS FREE. I USE THE SWAB AND I HAVE HAD MY BLOOD TESTED. MOST RECENT TEST WAS LAST YEAR!! JUNE. IMMMM SAFE!!!!! SO LETS GET IT INNN!! LOL
• ”DUKE” BANNER: YES I ALWAYS GO TO THE DOCTOR EVERY SIX MONTHS. I HAVE RA AND I GO TO MY CARDIOLOGIST I WAS POISON HAD GOT REAL SICK

And then ladies, you have men who respond like this:

• Pete E.: not in my community

       Yes, he did say that AIDS does not exist in his community. I hit him up and pressed further. He said that no one where he lives has AIDS or HIV and he would know so this doesn’t concern him. I tried to press further but he just wanted to holla at me. Did he really think that he could get my number after a response like that? SIKE!

        And you know that now and then you will run into the religious aspect of a question like this. But trust me when I tell you, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for this particular religious spin on getting tested for HIV/AIDS:

• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Never got tested nor will I ever! If God is for me who can be against me? Aids is a curse and Jesus already took that to the cross. I just do my part by not putting myself in the judgement seat by sleeping with every woman in site.
• Me: Hello, I thank you for answering my question about getting tested for HIV/AIDS. Your response is very admirable. I just have to ask one question and I hope that you can answer it to help me better understand your response. You said that you have never gotten tested and nor will you ever. SO my questions are: 1. Do you know that in some states, to get married, you are required to take an AIDS test? 2. Are you a virgin or have you ever had sex before? And it was interesting to listen to the song that is on your page as I write this note. Arise-Cherry Pie. Have a blessed evening.
• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Im not worried about that. Yes I have had sex before,but aids is the last of my concern.
• Me: Did you use protection when you did have sex before? Sorry to be personal, I just agree with your original comment on some levels and am bothered by them as a woman on another. So, I am just seeking clarification.
• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent:The difference is I am focused on Jesus and you want to focus on aids, aids is a judgement but people in the Christian world get healed from it everyday. I don’t worry about sickness because I’m not going out sleeping with everyone,or anybody for that matter my past is my past I don’t go digging into it. If there is a church that’s gonna be raptured up who is worried about disease? Jesus nailed disease, sickness, and misery  to the cross for everyone,everybody just doesn’t have the same measure of faith. When you don’t tap into faith you don’t know what you truly have access to in Jesus Christ. 
• Me: Okay, so… I agree with you on some of it. So are you saying that you are refraining from sex until you get married? And you currently do not know your HIV/AIDS status because you are covered in the favor of God?
• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: I’m covered by the blood of Jesus therefore I do know that I don’t have aids,this is not what I think it’s what I know.

        Ummmmm…I am sitting here trying to wipe my face clean but I can’t. He did give me permission to post hit Twitter link, so I did get that clearance. Again, I do understand being covered in the blood of the lamb. But you can NOT make me believe that I can walk outside of God’s kingdom to fornicate and then come back in to behave holier than thou and claim the blood in retrospect. Aint no way! You cant expect to be of the world and be covered by that which is not of that world.  It doesn’t and will NEVER work that way.

        If you behave in the world, you must abide by the rules and laws of that world. Therefore, do not be so afraid to get tested that you run behind the amour of God. I have faith in God to know that I will walk into the testing facility, get tested and be HIV Negative. THAT is how much faith I have. But I am also wise enough to know that if I keep testing God’s patience with my worldly activities that He can use HIV/AIDS to the betterment of His kingdom. So I am not immuned if I dabble in the world while engulfed in lust.  It is all or nothing!

        So ladies, even the religious dudes can get you hemmed up with something you can’t get rid of. So somewhere between you breaking the headboard and singing in the choir on Sunday, BOTH of you need to get tested. I am not judging you for the contradiction, but I am advising you to not continue the contradiction and hide behind faith. It isn’t wise. Protect yourself.

        I’ll never forget sitting at the McDonalds on Alabama Ave SE, D.C. with a coworker when a guy walks up and says, “Hi, my name is Michael. I’m HIV Negative, no kids, own place, and I drive” as he proceeds to pull out his HIV Negative Test results. I COULD HAVE DIED!!!  It was hilarious because it was random, but how scary is it that seeing a man with his HIV Negative results was sexy as shit! Have we reached this point? Soon will we need to have hand-held scanners like the BBM coder to see if the person you are talking to was Negative? I hope not, but stuff like this only happens to me. I swear.  People… You are NOT Magic. You don’t have his money, nor his insurance. WRAP IT UP! GET TESTED! KNOW YOUR STATUS! GET TESTED TOGETHER!!!! Protect yourself first. And anyone who makes a stink about it… tell them to go dry hump cement.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ Worth Watching?

               

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do        

         Update: I figured it out! Here I am on Thursday, a full 5 days before Episode 4 is to air, watching The Game. This is the Episode where Melanie wants to go home for Christmas because the Sabers are all about football….and it hits me. I now understand why people are rebelling against the changes.

        I am sitting here watching Melanie and relating to her. Everyone, religion excluded, would like to go home with their families for the holidays. We could connect with Drew Sidora, the character, breaking up a happy home. And even though the world is wrapped around professional football and the lights of fame that many of those watching will never get an inside look at, we somehow managed to relate. They were human in the first 3 seasons. Malik had OCD, Tasha had left by her baby daddy issues, Kelly was trying to please her husband, Jason was controlling, Derwin was getting caught up, and Melanie was oblivious to her world changing before her eyes. We’ve been here before. We liked it here. And this is what we feel is missing from the new season.

        I have yet to look at the new season and say, “EXACTLY!!! I feel you.” or have the slightest urge to tell someone how much this episode connected with me. I, and the other 7.5 Million viewers, are missing from this season of  The Game….so far. I don’t relate to a wife sneaking a DNA test without her husband’s knowledge. I don’t relate to guy’s sleeping with their boss’ wives and best friend’s girls….I know it happens, but I can’t relate to it. We know that Melanie isnt practicing medicine, and Kelly is starting a reality show, but what exactly does Tasha do? This is called The GAME but only once have we seen them in a jersey. I am looking for where I belong in this new season. Like Melanie, I just want to return home like I am accustomed to doing and relate.

Episode 4 begins in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…. #GameOn Bitches!

LMAO!!!! At the tweet “I’m Free, bastards.” I have a friend who may tweet that because he has a Malik Wright complex every Tuesday. Funny if Hosea tweeted that under his real Twitter name. I am really loving this look on Malik/Hosea… really sexy. WOWZERS!!!!! Did she really just bring up Chris Brown crying on TV? HOT DAMN! The Game is going H.A.M!

Umm…. I have to admit that I am going to steal the hat switching act. Though schizophrenic in nature….it is quite hilarious and effective.

So…..mama knows best. Malik should have done damage control. You cannot make me believe that the league will protect you over protecting their investment, and yes…. those are two different things. The real league makes me itch when it comes to how they protect their investments and how the players get away with murder, rape (Rothenburger), and spousal abuse (NAME A PLAYER). And though Malik is the center focus of this particular episode, 15 minutes in and I am thinking that this episode is dragging. Just not getting it.  And this scene with Meagan…..what is her character’s name?…is showing me just how serious this show is getting. It’s no longer a Dramedy. I don’t think that it works as a drama. *sigh*

I am trying not to complain…. let me try to be constructive…. I only have 8 minutes left to do so. *double sigh*

WOWZERS!!!! Derwin didn’t show up?!!! Okay…. I RELATED TO THAT!!! Hot diggidy damn! I related to something. I related to needing someone to be there, them saying so and not being there. My heart sank at the sight of the empty chair. WOW! THIS is what I wanted to feel. This is what I wanted from Season 4 of The Game. I RELATED TO MALIK!!!! Hallelujah! My prayers have been answered. *sigh of relief*.

My Grade for this Episode: C+ . I still think that it took too long to get the information out. The scenes were dragging and it was too damn dramatic. I think that the use of a linear plot also slowed the story down. In previous seasons multiple plots were going at once and that was believable and kept the speed of the show going.

Next Episode: Okay…. I see Janay is still holding a grudge…. but this contradicts with what Tasha told him in this episode. Didnt she tell Derwin to go home to DJ when she had her mother hat on? Or has he not had visitations around Melanie? I am so confused. And Terrance J is back? Okay…. *sigh* I’ll watch it.

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~