You Killed Chivalry, You Bastard! Pt1

I don’t think that men actually get it. I mean, the fastest ways to piss me off is to not act your age and to stab Chivarly in the back in my presence. Yes, a tad bit dramatic… I get it, but I am fed up with it. Why couldn’t I have been born 50 years before my time. I would rather have fought Jim Crow than to squabble with Dumbasses. Trust me, this is not an exaggeration… white man…. call me nigger.  I honestly could take that over my own black supposed king calling me bitch.

Where is this stemming from, you ask? So there is this “guy”. I could say sooooooooooo much right now but I am choosing not to as not to set his whole entire village on fire. Fuck burning the bridge, I want to set his future grandkids on fire! He irks the shit out of me in ways that I didnt even know that I could be disturbed. I mean… I have had thoughts of fucking him up. I keep trying to give him a chance because I already know that I am crazy, but there is no helping this fucker in my presence.

So today, I woke up feeling horrible. I was supposed to spend the night at his house (TRUST ME THERE WAS NO SEX GOING ON UNLESS HE RAPED ME!). But, I knew that I would want to come home and get some rest after blogging about The Braxtons  and Sinbad so I called and asked if we could reschedule. I was respectable. But as the day went by I started to feel a little bit better…. took meds….and then said I could come over for a little bit but not stay the night. So we are kicking it…..

200 Men Said….Real Men Cry!

        After thinking about writing a blog about Eric Benet’s song Sometimes I Cry, I thought to ask my 200 men the very question that the song brings forth. I mean, after all…. it is so taboo for a man to cry in public. That CANNOT be healthy. I really want to find the very first father who turned to his son and told him to stop crying and punch him in the throat. Well, now that I think about it…. I think a spirit literally just came and smacked ME in the face. Was this something deemed a living legend from slavery? Was this an ancestral chain that has yet to be broken?

        I am writing this on February 16th, 2011, and I have no clue when I will post it, but in the midst of Black History Month one has to ask if men not crying stems from slavery. Now I have seen my father cry several times and I think that was so healthy. I have also spoken with one of my brothers about how he cried after an incident. Yet, to see a person that I am in a relationship cry is harder to do than running up and hugging the Queen of England! It’s as if the very gender that needs to release from all of the burdens and stress that they are expected to carry are the very ones who have become socially banned from doing so. But was this rooted in a slave father telling a son not to cry before an overseer, or an elder telling Kunta not to cry while being whipped as not to show a sign of weakness or fear? Did this get passed through the blood to the civil rights age where blacks didn’t cry in front of Bull O’Connor and his water hoses? Or instilled in the students who sat at the lunch counters as the were saturated with hate? And did it carry into the blood of the many men who were castrated and became strange fruit that decorated the roadsides of many southern towns? If so, what purpose does it have today?

So I asked my 200 Men:

Some people think that a man crying is a sign of weakness. Are you afraid to cry in front of people? If so, why or why not?

And they came back with these responses:

• ”DUKE” BANNER:  When my heart aches, or I’m very sad, it really doesnt matter where I am; I’m not ashamed. 
• Lateef25:  I’m not going to judge people for crying, but I’ve never had a reason , since I was young, to cry. 
•  Kycajrome L: I say it depends on what the man is crying about…lol But if a man is emotionally in touch with his feelings then that’s pretty healthy emotionally. Then the problem or question is , are the other’s around him mature enough to handle it [his crying].
•  Mark D: No, I don’t think there is anything wrong with crying in front of people . We are all human beings, and not heartless animals!
• CHRIST- O:  It’s not a problem for me, because I know who I am. And no one’s opinion of one aspect of my life will make me change my whole lifestyle.
• DA FLY GUY: CRYING IS A SIGN OF MATURITY!
•  Jesse (TEAM MARK CASH 4 EVER ): I’m not afraid to cry in front of people. It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human.
• DSMILEY1:  I’m not afraid because I have done it before. Real men cry to show emotion!
• on the rocks…:If a man cries in front of others, usually there’s a very valid reason. I can’t see any reason for a man to be all overly emotional over most things..like movies and women and graduations and such [2Deep: Did this nut just say women…. lmao!!! Y’all see why I love their honesty so much..lol]
• Allen Ozark: No, but unfortunately I was born without tear ducts. [2Deep:  I can’t tell if he is telling the truth or if that is even medically possible….lol]
• Kevin R: I’m not [afraid], because I know how strong of a man I am.
• Carlos V: No, I think it’s fine for a man to cry.
• rroyallty:  I think if he is running around crying everyday, all the time..its a problem. But if there is a significant reason and you’re around a select few..let it out or you will snap
•  godschild 1111870: My ex made me cry too much; not happening any more.
•  Code Name Bigsexy:  No, I would cry if I could not help it. lol. And I get mad when I cry. So I get mean; n one better think or say anything [to me].  ©☛Anthony☚©: LOL. It’s not bad to cry.
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: No and yes. I’ll cry, but not for long, and then I’ll play it off. Because men aren’t suppose to show that much emotion. And it’s because emotion distorts rational thinking.         
• Jerome P: Although I dont do it often, I’m man enough to cry. It’s very important to release feelings.Thats why jails are over crowded now.
• Rated R Superstar: Well, a man crying doesnt make you a weak man, that’s a strong man. We’re all human, and we all feel the same pain…
•  DON CUE: No, I’ve lost too many loved ones to care what other people think!
•  LAW.. DA ROC BOYZ:  It all depends on what he’s crying about. Personally, I don’t like to cry, but hey, im human so it happens.
•  Danny P: I’m not afraid to, but yeah it is embarrassing. Because our society still trains men to think it’s not ok. Sure, we talk like it’s ok, like it’s what we all want, but it’s not really. That’s my experience anyway.
•  BIG SEKZI: Nope, because I’m very confident and secure with myself
•  Sensual Nupe: No, I’m not. It really depends on the situation. It takes a strong man to show his emotions. If I just lost a family member or a close friend, I will cry and I don’t care whose around.
•  www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ ent: Tears of Joy are the only tears you will see me cry. I don’t do emotional tears anymore.
• Prestige “The One And Only”: Definitely not afraid but I don’t do it. It’s not a sign of weakness. People just see it that way as if that individual is weak at that moment. For me, I feel stronger when I cry, if I’m crying in front of people it most likely means “Stand the hell by”.
•  6’5 & NICE WIT IT: Put it like this, one day you will ’cause tears cant stay inside forever
• James M: A man crying is not a sign of weakness, but if he’s at the movies crying then that’s a different story. I have cried in front of people and it didn’t make me weak.

• Aries Brotha: I’m not afraid to cry in front of people, but I’m only comfortable showing that side of myself with close friends and family. Lame as it sounds, my mom taught me to be free with my emotions, and my dad told me Real Men don’t ever cry. I found my own way.
• !!!!! A !!!!!!James L: Heck ,I’m crying now! lol! I think a man who’s in tune with his feelings is a true man and real to life. There are some happy times and sad times that makes us cry and only robots and the dead don’t cry..

 

And as usual I must have a FAVORITE comment, and all though I have several …. I choose:

• Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Worrying about what people think is a sign of weakness… Your feelings are your only true form of strength at times. How you fight through hurt, how love can make you feel invincible and how something may move you to tears and still be a man. …..THAT IS STRONG!

And my most revealing comments, and one of the reasons I wanted to write this blog ,came from:

• James F:  Yes, I think it’s weakness. A man should always dominate his emotion and not be a prisoner of them. I’m not afraid to cry, but I’m just not going to cry in front of people. Like, if someone dies or someone I cared about died, I won’t show that emotion openly. If I cry it’s gonna be by myself. The reason for that, my father always told me “stop crying. You’re a big boy” when I was younger. Plus, the environment that I grew up in…. you couldnt cry. That was so-called being “Soft” or “a punk”. You would be a target. You couldn’t be a sheep around wolves or they would eat you alive.

       I have witnessed a guy lose his mother, a football player break his leg, and a DC teen being shot and still ALL of them refused to cry in the presence of others. IN NO WAY IS THIS HEALTHY!!! I think that these are perfectly excusable moments where a man could cry in front of others and people would understand and keep it moving. Yet even in movies like Menace to Society they joke on the men who cry when they are being shot should they survive. Or in Cadillac Records where Muddy Waters runs up the stairs and can be hard crying audibly but wouldn’t cry in front of his wife.  This is where I am glad that I am not a man. Because sometimes this world gets too much to bear and you should be allowed to release everything that you hold inside. Now I’m not saying that a man should cry when he stumps his foot, because NO ONE should cry that easily, but it is okay to cry sometimes in public. But as James F pointed out, his environment wouldn’t allow him to cry; it became a method of survival. But I think it was a method by default because those who would have picked on him needed an outlet and since they couldn’t cry, they would have picked on those who felt they needed to and actually did. So in actuality they would have picked on those brave enough to express their true emotions. But as shown, in most cases kids were too afraid to or told by parents not to because they were “big boys”.

        I think we should stop putting a gender on crying and rather start putting a situation on crying. For example, if a child is upset about dropping their ice cream cone, we shouldnt say “Stop crying. Boys don’t cry over dropping an ice cream cone” but rather we should say “It’s just an ice cream cone. So stop crying.” This way people will begin to express their feelings better. Because much like how there are gateway drugs, tears are the gateway emotion.  You cry when you are happy, sad, mad, confused, upset, and LMAO-ing.  SO if you tell a boy/man that he can’t cry you are taking away the gateway to about 90 percent of his emotional expressions. So express to your sons when it is healthy to cry and when it is okay to cry. Also, that it is okay to cry in front of people. We’re all human…we’ve all cried at some point in our lives. So its okay for you to cry too. And if anyone has a problem with it…. tell them to come see me. *Cocks Arizona issued riffle* Yeh, let’s see how fast we can get them to cry…lmao.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

200 Men Said…. Get Tested

        First, before you read this, read my blog from last Monday~> Writer’s Block: Tsion the Wordsmith~Miss Valentine .

        As a female who lives in the AIDS/HIV Capital of the U.S.A,Washington, D.C.,  I am sooooooo big on this topic that you wouldn’t even believe the efforts that I go through to make sure that women understand what they are putting their bodies up for when having sex. I have to be up front ladies… the condom is NOT the man’s responsibility….alone. You, too, need to have two of each size condom ( just in case he should come up short) and you should also have dental dam. If the phrase “dental dam” just made you tilt your head Scooby style, then honey, you need to STOP having sex immediately because you are missing very important elements of sex education and sex preparation.

       Yes, I am grown enough to know that everyone is not safe all of the time. Now that we all have admitted to it, what do we plan to do about it? Ladies, how do you plan to protect yourself? As a woman, there have been times when I have gone and gotten tested and found out that my guy had sex with an ex the day I got tested which voided the results he showed me. Or the guy’s wife ( who lived in another state) saw pics of us on Myspace and wanted to know what i was doing with her husband….and I didn’t even know he was married…did I mentioned she lived in another state?! Or being with a guy who reveals that he use to like men. I don’t judge him… but this is information you need to tell me BEFORE we head down this road. So you see, preparing yourself with knowledge about your partner is just as important as if you put a condom in your purse or wallet. You need BOTH to be safe in the game of sex. Nothing is guaranteed. NOTHING!

        Using a condom but having oral sex without a dental damn makes about as much sense as you getting gas and pulling off with the tank wide the fuck open. Yes, I’m being a hypocrite…but, as a reformed hypocrite I have seen the errors of my ways and I wanted to step forth and be brave enough to talk about it. So yes, I get tested before EVERY guy I am with. Yes, I only have ONE sexual partner in a 12 month period….NO EXCEPTIONS! This is what I do, but even this is not enough if I don’t know the status of my partner. I need solid proof, like seeing his results or going to get tested with him. So, this is why I am celibate and have been for quite some time. I might set a fire if I cross my legs, but at least I am healthy.  HIV NEGATIVE!!!!!!

So, I asked my 200 men the following question: 

HIV/AIDS is high in certain communities. How often do you get tested? Have you ever gotten tested BEFORE sex with a person? DO you do the mouth swab or blood test?

And they came back with the following answers.

• Prestige “The One And Only”: Every three months, blood test.
• Allen Ozark: Yup Tested. Nope, not positive. in fact i have NEVER had any kind of STD … EVER! and i never will! I understand the whole aids / std epidemic, but i just don’t understand the whole aids / std epidemic. a true gentlemen never infects others.
• Lateef25: Every six months
• *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I get tested often, but it’s a requirement with my job to get tested every year. They have always taken my blood. I would not have unprotected sex without knowing the other person’s status.
• Aries Brotha: At least one a year. Yes. And it’s a rather moot right now as i’ve decided to reframe from having sex. Just dating.
• Kip S: I get tested every year. Yes, I’ve gotten tested before and after sex, typically blood test.
• RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]: well i only have one partner at a time. I don’t sleep around but i get tested every six months
• K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I HAVE BEEN TESTED. AIDS FREE. I USE THE SWAB AND I HAVE HAD MY BLOOD TESTED. MOST RECENT TEST WAS LAST YEAR!! JUNE. IMMMM SAFE!!!!! SO LETS GET IT INNN!! LOL
• ”DUKE” BANNER: YES I ALWAYS GO TO THE DOCTOR EVERY SIX MONTHS. I HAVE RA AND I GO TO MY CARDIOLOGIST I WAS POISON HAD GOT REAL SICK

And then ladies, you have men who respond like this:

• Pete E.: not in my community

       Yes, he did say that AIDS does not exist in his community. I hit him up and pressed further. He said that no one where he lives has AIDS or HIV and he would know so this doesn’t concern him. I tried to press further but he just wanted to holla at me. Did he really think that he could get my number after a response like that? SIKE!

        And you know that now and then you will run into the religious aspect of a question like this. But trust me when I tell you, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for this particular religious spin on getting tested for HIV/AIDS:

• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Never got tested nor will I ever! If God is for me who can be against me? Aids is a curse and Jesus already took that to the cross. I just do my part by not putting myself in the judgement seat by sleeping with every woman in site.
• Me: Hello, I thank you for answering my question about getting tested for HIV/AIDS. Your response is very admirable. I just have to ask one question and I hope that you can answer it to help me better understand your response. You said that you have never gotten tested and nor will you ever. SO my questions are: 1. Do you know that in some states, to get married, you are required to take an AIDS test? 2. Are you a virgin or have you ever had sex before? And it was interesting to listen to the song that is on your page as I write this note. Arise-Cherry Pie. Have a blessed evening.
• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Im not worried about that. Yes I have had sex before,but aids is the last of my concern.
• Me: Did you use protection when you did have sex before? Sorry to be personal, I just agree with your original comment on some levels and am bothered by them as a woman on another. So, I am just seeking clarification.
• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent:The difference is I am focused on Jesus and you want to focus on aids, aids is a judgement but people in the Christian world get healed from it everyday. I don’t worry about sickness because I’m not going out sleeping with everyone,or anybody for that matter my past is my past I don’t go digging into it. If there is a church that’s gonna be raptured up who is worried about disease? Jesus nailed disease, sickness, and misery  to the cross for everyone,everybody just doesn’t have the same measure of faith. When you don’t tap into faith you don’t know what you truly have access to in Jesus Christ. 
• Me: Okay, so… I agree with you on some of it. So are you saying that you are refraining from sex until you get married? And you currently do not know your HIV/AIDS status because you are covered in the favor of God?
• www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: I’m covered by the blood of Jesus therefore I do know that I don’t have aids,this is not what I think it’s what I know.

        Ummmmm…I am sitting here trying to wipe my face clean but I can’t. He did give me permission to post hit Twitter link, so I did get that clearance. Again, I do understand being covered in the blood of the lamb. But you can NOT make me believe that I can walk outside of God’s kingdom to fornicate and then come back in to behave holier than thou and claim the blood in retrospect. Aint no way! You cant expect to be of the world and be covered by that which is not of that world.  It doesn’t and will NEVER work that way.

        If you behave in the world, you must abide by the rules and laws of that world. Therefore, do not be so afraid to get tested that you run behind the amour of God. I have faith in God to know that I will walk into the testing facility, get tested and be HIV Negative. THAT is how much faith I have. But I am also wise enough to know that if I keep testing God’s patience with my worldly activities that He can use HIV/AIDS to the betterment of His kingdom. So I am not immuned if I dabble in the world while engulfed in lust.  It is all or nothing!

        So ladies, even the religious dudes can get you hemmed up with something you can’t get rid of. So somewhere between you breaking the headboard and singing in the choir on Sunday, BOTH of you need to get tested. I am not judging you for the contradiction, but I am advising you to not continue the contradiction and hide behind faith. It isn’t wise. Protect yourself.

        I’ll never forget sitting at the McDonalds on Alabama Ave SE, D.C. with a coworker when a guy walks up and says, “Hi, my name is Michael. I’m HIV Negative, no kids, own place, and I drive” as he proceeds to pull out his HIV Negative Test results. I COULD HAVE DIED!!!  It was hilarious because it was random, but how scary is it that seeing a man with his HIV Negative results was sexy as shit! Have we reached this point? Soon will we need to have hand-held scanners like the BBM coder to see if the person you are talking to was Negative? I hope not, but stuff like this only happens to me. I swear.  People… You are NOT Magic. You don’t have his money, nor his insurance. WRAP IT UP! GET TESTED! KNOW YOUR STATUS! GET TESTED TOGETHER!!!! Protect yourself first. And anyone who makes a stink about it… tell them to go dry hump cement.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Writer’s Block: Tsion the Wordsmith~Miss Valentine

        Okay, so….this topic will NEVER get old to me. It is a topic that is close to my heart. And I can’t say much about it in this intro because it would spoil the read. So…..

        I called in a  favor to a real good friend of mine, Tsion the Wordsmith, and I asked him if he could send me a copy of this poem. Tsion and I slammed on the 2009 Busboys and Poets 11th Hour Slam Team together…and this would become one of my favorite poems. I mean, the way that he sets it up to the way that the story unfolds….beautiful. And of course I plan to tell him this one day… but I dont want his head to get bigger than what it already is. LMAO! But, I called him as soon as I sent out the question for my 200 Men because it was the FIRST thing that came to mind. I wanted local DC, Maryland, and Virginia talent to be showcased for this particular topic. Plus…. I get to expose you all to some of my amazing friends and their talents. I could talk about it for hours, but I would rather you read it first. Enjoy!

Miss Valentine by: Tsion the Wordsmith

It was a Thursday…
and I was on the corner of 14th and Lennox listening to a crackhead preach about how we was all sinners and needed Jesus
now I wasn’t paying him no mind, just indulging his conversation
growing impatient though cause I had my eye on this bar named “Susie’s”
owned by a Jamaican  whose name was…
well, I don’t think nobody really know what his name was
I finished up talking, walked across the street went into the bar
and heard a voice say, “you gonna have the paul mason straight?”
surprised me cause that’s the thing I would drink whenever I went into the place…
then from around the corner walked the prettiest face I had ever seen
if looks were skills then she would have been the captain of the dream team; and the first at that
plus she had a body to match
for real, this woman was a killer
if looks could kill she would be number one on America’s most wanted list
gliding and swaying across this plane; every now and then she would kiss it with her presence

so, she slid up in front of me and said, “I know I surprised you by knowing what you like to cop
but I know you also only come in here on Thursdays and you always sit in the same spot
easy, cause you been coming in here for about six months and two weeks
and I hope its not too conceited but I’m the best looking thing in here and you never once decided to speak
maybe you didn’t notice me cause I was in the antibody crowd and it’s kinda hard to notice anybody when antibodies are hanging
but if anti-bodies are hanging around anybody, it should let you know something is bound to go down
cause antibodies only hang around anybody when somethings going down”
….I didn’t understand one word said; but she told me that was alright cause i would before the night was over
told me her name was Susie and asked, “what’s yours young soldier?”
I told my name was Tsion and asked was she the Susie that ran the place
yeah was the reply and I found it funny cause I would never put that name to that face
she told me it was her daughter’s name and she did it in her memory
“no matter where I go or what I do, she will always be here with me”
so I asked her real name but she brushed me off cause she had other customers to attend to
figured I head through my Thursday ritual of four drinks and head back to the capitol
when I heard “that’s it young soldier, you just gonna speak?
you not gonna ask a pretty young lady out to eat?”
I had a couple dollars to spare so yeah, we could go out for a bite to eat
but before we go, she said she had a couple of her white blood cell buddies she needed to meet
I guess she did some time and her cellys were white
they must cut each other, bonded and became blood sisters for life
so we met up with them and I was still thinking what exactly, what is her name
I asked and with a wicked grin she said “Maylene”
but I figured that really wasn’t her name
but she said if a rose were called by anything else would it still not smell the same…
…true….true…

well, we made it back to my place and before I could the key in the door her lips were on mine
her arms were around my shoulders, and my hands on her behind
the whole time thinking exactly what is the name that her mother gave
I asked her again and she said “call me dominatrix for tonight you will be my slave”
slave to my motion, slave to my track, slave to rhyme, slave to my kat
and it ain’t bother me cause I figured it would be the best I ever had
so when she told me she would be with me for the rest of my life, all I could do is laugh
at my good fortune; saying if only I could believe everything you say as true
she said you can for what I’m about to give you, there is no cure
so jump aboard and ride this ride, but remember lil boy it’s best when you do it rawhide

so we started stroking…
and she wasn’t lying when she said she knew what she was doing
losing my on ecstasy street by the way she was moving
her kitty kat walls
it’s like they grew claws and pulled me in
had my back arching and bending in ways that I never knew it could bend
blending the lines between fantasy and reality until there was nothing left but she and I
and I was trying to maintain composure but it was like with each little stroke I would die
and go to heaven; never wanting to come back, wanting to stay embedded between her thighs
and I figured since I was a real man I had to give her at least 45 minutes of good loving
but after 12 she stroked me real hard and I cried out and filled her with my seed for a thousand tomorrows…

at that point, I was out of breath…
laid my head on the pillow, felt something moving, looked over, this woman was getting dress
so I jumped up, threw on my pants as she was running down my hall
called out real loud “can I have your name and possibly your number so I can give you a call?”
she laughed out loud the biggest laugh I had ever heard in my life and said “little boy, you ain’t been paying attention at all
you don’t need my name or number, imma be with you for the rest of your life; for tonight I made you one of my white blood cell buddies
but if you must know my name is Hazel Irene Valentine…
but you can call me H I V…

 

        So, what’d you think? I thought that this was a clever display of wordplay placed in a realistic setting and hidden behind an obvious epidemic. I think that as a society we have become complacent when it comes to the awareness of the preventable. And not just HIV/AIDS, but in life in general. I love how this was placed from a male’s point of view as seldom do we as a community get the opportunity to hear how men are exposed. This has become a woman’s disease, if you believed the media. They make women responsible for knowing their status. They blame DL brothers for keeping it going. So at what point do we blame everyone for their actions?

        Of course I had to do my own research, so I asked my 200 men what they thought about the topic. And you would die from shock based on what you read. So, come back tomorrow and read what they had to say in 200 Men Said….Get Tested.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

CD Baby: The Diary of a Reluctant Poet

Reverbnation: Tsion the Wordsmith

200 Men Said…Dueces Dos and Don’ts

        If you checked out my blog yesterday, Lyrically Speaking: Keri Hilson~Intuition [<~Click Here] Then you would already know what this blog is going to be about.  Women have the best intuition skills on the face of this earth, but sometimes your signal could be off and you could blame a man who is doing something based on your own fears and insecurities. This is a No, No.  There are things that women think they are good at, or things that should occur in a relationship….and those very things could be the thing that breaks up the relationship.

        For instance, do we as women listen as much as we like to complain that men don’t listen to us? I would have to say that women are the WORST listeners. Men damn near are forced into listening and women are unaccustomed to doing so. SO, I thought that I would lay somethings out in front of you in plain view.

        We often times wonder if things were our fault when it comes to a relationship ending. Did we do something wrong? What could we have done better? Etc. But then we get into our pride, listen to our bitter ass girlfriends and fail to accept our part in a relationship going wrong. Most of the issue is that we didn’t listen to our partner or the warning signs that something was not going the way that it should, yet and still we pretended that all was gravy and ignored it. MISTAKE! We must face facts. And no matter how many hours we spend hovering over a box of Ben and Jerry’s we will always find ourselves blameless. So, I thought that I would ask my 200 Men the following question:

If there were 2 things that you could get women to do (or stop doing) in a relationship to make it work or last longer…what would those 2 things be and why? Send me a message for longer answers.

        Now before you read these answers, you have to be open and honest with yourself. Before you go any further I need you to make the promise that you will not negate a single one of these answers. These guys deal with women, therefore they know what has bothered them in a relationship. Are all of these responses going to be about you? No, not unless you have been with all of these guys. But SOMETHING in here will strike a chord and pinch a nerve and you have to be willing to face that fact and be ready to fix it, because if it is listed… then it is a problem.

And the 200 Men Said….

• Vince V: sorry I don’t like this question…for one it automatically assumes that it is something that a woman does or doesn’t do that causes relationships to end. when we all that is not true. (just keeping it real) no two relationships r the same, every one ends for different reasons. but if you want to hear the general consensus of the male demographic, the answer to your question would be… be more explicitly sexual and open to diversity in the bedroom, and to domesticate themselves a little more (learn to cook and clean).
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Assuming 2 Much! And Needs 2 Communicate More!..Muahz..Pefect..lol
• …….: Stop always acting like everything is about money,and stop acting like everything is about money lol
• K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: WELL TWO THINGS ARE STOP ACCUSING A MAN OF BEING OUT WITH OTHER WOMEN AND SECOND , STOP BEING SILENT WHEN SOMTHING IS ON YOUR MIND!
•  ICE: Shut up lol…and trust me 🙂
• Lateef25: not be so dramatic and just think before you react
• Aries Brotha: Stop boasting about the intimacy shared in the bedroom. And to stop agonizing about where the relationship is going. Boasting could lead her friends wanting to see what’s up. Relationships evolve so there isn’t really any way to plan the future.
• Jerome P: i think women should not assume what a man knows.Tell him whats going on in your head. just because we dont know something about you doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention to you. We don’t pick up on everything so quickly
•  James F: take care of her appearance and be a good listener
• Code Name Bigsexy: 1 NO MALE FRIENDS.2 KNOW WE ARE A TEAM THAT MEANS I HELP YOU AND YOU HELP ME
•  !: be satisfied with your man’s position in life if he is happy…In other words, if he makes 60000 and content why bash him for not wanting more, or dressing a certain way, etc…just like him for him or make a change in her life.
•  !A Gentleman! (BBM:30A835CD): If I can get women to stop looking at me or guarding themselves as if I was the man who hurt them. Stop assuming you know us, every man is the not same, we’re not! we are all different.
•  
• THIS GUY: stop always trying to be right and stop trying to destroy another peaceful day
• James L: To stop treating all guys like their cheaters because of their past relationship experience. You will run the good guy off. Say what you mean!!!! We can’t read between your lines, to many possibilities. Make it plain and simple what you want.

AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE COMMENT CAN FROM :

• Prestige “The One And Only”: Control your own confidence level. A man shouldn’t dictate a woman’s love for herself, if ever it gets to the point where I am the sole source of her believing in herself it becomes very unattractive. And never stop setting goals….

 

        I read that comment and I wanted to revert back to southern Baptist Church days. PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gone On And Tell ’em The TRUTH, PASSA! (Yes, I said Pass and not Pastor).  Don’t ask him if that dress makes you look fast. You knew you looked fat and wanted confirmation. Or you THOUGHT you looked fat and need to hear someone else say the words that mimic the thoughts in your head. That is NOT fair to him. You need a self-check. You need to be able to stand on your own. Confidence is sexy as shit! And the sooner you think you are beautiful is the same minute that the world will begin to agree with you. No self-denial can be included in this. So no obese chicks in 2-piece swimsuits because it doesn’t mean you are confident, that shows you are faking confidence.  Nor does it mean that the skinny girl who believes that she has the bomb as body should go around and show everyone. Think about it, some of the most valuable collections of the world are behind glass and locked up where no one can see it or have limited access. Why would you expose your treasure? You are worth being the first to know that you are beautiful and worth being loved. Love yourself first, trust me when I tell you it is a beautiful thing.

 

        Of course I agree with the intro to Vince V’s response and “……”‘s answer cracks me the hell up. But they all hold a good point in them. And even though ICE wants to get jumped… there is a point to his message as well. We must all learn to shut up SOMETIMES and listen just as much as we wish to be listened to.

 

       Aries Brotha makes a great point about boasting and being a bug-a-boo. Ladies… if you read my Advice from the Other Woman blog you would know that you don’t tell your friends SHIT!! If they ask, just say everything is good. Only stupid females and high school chicks share the details of their relationships. STOP IT!!! Your man is telling you that if you tell you must have wanted someone to know so you can’t get mad when he gives a private tutorial to your best friend…lmao. Just kidding, but you catch my drift. And bugging him about where the relationship is headed is a sign that you are desperate. Seriously. If he wants you, you will know it. if you have to ask, then he doesn’t want you. Make yourself less available and show him that you have a life to live with or without him. If he can’t live without you….he’ll be back. So relax ladies, your asking is why your relationships keep failing. Your overall problem is talking, so shut up to your friends and to your man when it comes to where this relationship is headed… lmao. Well, do so in moderation.

 

      And of course, the Bag Lady Effect. Boo, leave Tyrone’s issues with Tyrone. Keith didn’t hurt you, he may in the future, but you dont know that yet. Pain hurts but it makes us stronger. Imagine how many times iron has to be melted, molded, and hit over and over again to get it to a point where it holds up structures, becomes the frame for others. It feels like you are dying, but you wont. TRUST ME! I’ve been through some shit and I am still here. You are not afraid of Love. You are afraid of being hurt by Tyrone. Well you left Tyrone. Be able to think logically and not emotionally so much. This is nothing new. We’ve heard it all before. Now is the time to believe it and understand the effects of it. The men you seek do NOT like these behaviors. If there are things that you want them to change, you too have to be more willing to change the things about you that bother them. But I’m just a girl too. I suggest to myself that I need to follow my advice. And Scene!

 

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Lyrically Speaking: Lyfe Jennings~Hero

        I searched high and low for a song that I thought would speak of a woman’s worth that was not sung by Maxwell or Alicia Keys. I also wanted to mix that with a song that sang of an appreciation for an independent woman who was not put to a rap beat or came within ten feet of Destiny’s Child or Ne-Yo. So one day, listening to my Rhapsody playlist I came across one of my favorite singers, Lyfe Jennings, and his song Hero. Eureka! This is what the juggling of one’s balls must feel like… because I got a great feeling in my happy place when I heard this song. I thought…. this is as subliminal of a message as you can get when it comes to being an independent woman.

        Tomorrow you will get to read my blog about what 200 Men Said…. An Independent Woman’s Place [<~Click Here to Read]….but today I wanted to celebrate her. I wanted to celebrate the independent woman free of a bitter bitch anthem and really vibe out to her without even saying the words “independent woman”…well, outside of this intro.  Because a REAL independent woman does, a wannabe shouts about it. You will NEVER hear a REAL independent woman claim the title, but everyone else will call her one. It is in the core of who she is and everyone around her can feel her independent power and never feel negated by that power. And I wanted to celebrate her with a Lyrically Speaking song that many may not have heard;I think that Lyfe did a wonderful job in capturing that.

        I see the opening of the video very reminiscent of a Superman meets Clark Kent moment. She should start in her Clark Kent stage with her hair down, cute little house dress via Victoria Secrets. Nothing kinky looking but short and regular but still seductive in nature. Think, her wearing his button-up or his college football jersey, etc.  The shot should be Lyfe sitting at the kitchen table finishing off dinner as he starts singing and then gets up to put his plate in the sink walking directly up behind his “Hero”. And he should grab her and maaaaaaybe give her a pelvic thrust on the last line.

Verse 1

Superman can’t cook chicken like this, (this)*
And Wonder Woman can’t french kiss, (kiss)
Aladdin only gave me one wish (wish),
That’s yo body

 

        She playfully pushes him away  and starts to back up because she knows where this is heading. Lyfe follows and presses her up against the wall just as he says the last line.

Spiderman don’t forgive me when I’m wrong, (wrong)
Batman don’t look good in that thong, (thong)
Catwoman don’t keep me rock this long (long)
That’s yo body

         Then I think that he should stay still as she leaves from under him. He then turns and leans on the wall where she once was as there is a speed reel like in Adam Sandler’s movie CLICK where he presses fast forward and everything but him speeds up. His “Hero” is shown getting the kids ready for extracurricular activities like football and karate practice, leaving to take them and returning. Leaving to get groceries, and returning with bags. She drops one in fast mode and “Regular Speed” Lyfe catches the bag and sets it on the counter. She’s even seen cleaning the house and putting the kids to bed before it comes back to regular speed as she is closing the door to the kids’ room; throughout this Lyfe is walking regular speed.

[Chorus:]
It’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) it’s an angel down here
With no wangs, it’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) short shorty
It’s the hero song everybody sing along.
You are my hero (hero), you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name,
The greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away.
You are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray,
The greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away.

        She is seen walking seductively down the hallway headed towards Lyfe who is sitting at a keyboard. She places a bowl of soup on the table next to him right before she straddles across his lap and they are looking into his each other’s eyes before they kiss. Lyfe picks her up and walks over to the bed and gently lays her down as the shot pans beyond him to the window to watch the sky change from night to day.

Verse 2

Wolverine can’t cheer me up when I’m sad, (sad)
Captain America can’t slow dance, (dance)
Hulk can’t make a boy feel like a man (man)
That’s Yo body

Aguaman can’t work a job with two kids, (kids)
Iceman can’t cook soup when I’m sick, (sick)
Wonder Twins don’t know how to work this stick (stick, stick)
That’s yo body

[CHORUS]

It’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) it’s an angel down here
With no wangs, it’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) short shorty
It’s the hero song everybody sing along.
You are my hero (hero), you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name,
The greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away.
You are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray,
The greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away.

        As the view pans back out Lyfe is laying in bed by himself asleep as she walks into view fully dressed for work but now she is in Superman mode; hair in a bun, power suit, and heels with brief case. She shakes him and walks out of the room. Now every shot her “Superman” outfit changes. She gets to the hallway to call for the kids and she looks like a Doctor, walks into the kitchen to hand them their lunches and she now looks like a police offer. Walking to the front door she looks like a waitress. By then Lyfe has made it there and given her a kiss and as the shot goes to her pulling back from the kiss in front of the open door.The next shot is her outside as she closes the front door to head to the car as a pregnant stay-at-home mom.

Up and away (up and away) off to work she leaves,
back at four thirttttttty, we’ll make love till we fall asleep,
when we wake up, she’ll put on that cape again,
me and my hero, me and angel, me and my girl and my best friend.

Lyfe goes into the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of cereal and walks into the family room and sits on the couch during this next few bars.

You are my hero (hero) you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name,
the greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away,
you are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray.
the greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away. (yeah)

        Just as he sits, his “Hero” is seen walking into the house with the 3 kids running past her, no longer pregnant. She stops in the doorway and she undoes the bun in her hair as Lyfe calls her into the family room where Captain America & Friends is on TV. She is now back in the same mode that she was in at the start of the video; loose hair, glasses, and comfortable cute house dress with footy socks. She sits down & cuddles next to him and he hands her the bowl of cereal and wraps his arms around her as the song goes off.

Shorty this the hero song, everybody sing along
Shorty this the hero song, everybody sing …
Shorty this the hero song everybody sing along,
Shorty this the hero song, thank you for singing along

 

         Yeh…. if I had a say so in the video…. that is EXACTLY how I would direct it. I think it tells a tale of how the every day woman can, in fact, be a hero. These are the unsung independent women that don’t seek praise nor boast about their independent power, but they are independent women just the same. I don’t know Lyfe’s intentions when he wrote the song, but I am in LOVE with it. It is my own personal anthem because this is the kind of woman who I am and would like to continue to be. So, I salute Lyfe for this song and I salute the true independent women who don’t apologize for being the women that they are because they don’t have to. And that is said without attitude or pride. Dont get that confused with the need to shout your independence from the mountain tops running all the good men away. Or feeling that you need to shout it to get a strong man to want to be with you. Trust me, wannabes…..if you shut the fuck up… he will come. lmao! And that is all I have to say about that.

These are gonna be the longest 3 years. But we’ll be here waiting for your return Lyfe. God bless!

P.S. Scroll down the page to post a comment or to read comments

P.P.S. If you are on the homepage, Click on the title Lyrically Speaking to go to the actual page.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Lyrically Speaking….Urban Mystic: I Refuse

        I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard this song. I was on the phone with my high school sweetheart after about a year of me not speaking to him. He was back at his old tricks of trying to get me to fall for him all over again. He told me to check out this song, and I had never even heard of the artist, much less the song….but I said that I would. And I did. Loved it. Thought that I should burst out into singing “Killing Me Softly” because Urban Mystic was telling my whole life with his words.

        This song has that high school feel. That, “talking on the phone all night or at least holding the phone as you fall asleep” type feel. This song just oozes the rekindling of an old flame. This is NOT the song you need to play while you are engaged to your future wife ( just saying) lmao!. But it does have that “tug on the heartstrings of hopeless romantics who cant wait to be with their first loves just once more” type feel.

The intro is enough to make you call everyone in your black book and make individual appointments. lol

Intro:urban(woman)
yo baby (what?s up)
what we had was so special (yea I know)
what you doin now (left my man back at the 9 to 5 just trying to make things work)
Yeah, I never thought I?d see you again (and I never thought I?d see you again)
yeah, (what a coincidence)
well that?s how things happen (yea I know, I wanna have you just one more time)
But you know what (what’s that)
You know what?s odd (what is it)

        Her tone is just begging for him to come and get it. It’s almost as if she planned for them to meet again. Like she searched for him and put herself in a place to be strategically found by him. I’m not mad at her. I would do the same damn thing…lol I mean, how simple is the intro? But this is about as kinky as Teddy Pendergrass talking over a track. It says “Get those panties off… TAKE ‘EM OFF!” lmao.

Verse 1:
What are the odds of me bumping into you again (one in a million)
What are the odds of me seeing my first lover friend (two in a million)
It’s been two years since we both graduated, I still can feel how we both celebrated
I can’t get over your voice on my phone, we’ve been apart for so long.

 

        This takes me back to that time when you locked eyes with the person that you love after being apart for so long. Or even the thought of them that sends chills down your spine and ends at your happy place. I mean really… they had to have been something special that without even touching you or being in the same room with you they can make you smile and head towards a cold shower.  What are the odds of every person doing that to you? Zero in a million.

Chorus:
So I refuse to wait, my patience is out the door baby
I refuse to hear you say, u don’t want me no more baby
I refuse to blame, you for anything – me for any thing
lets not take finding each other in vain, its not a coincidence baby

 

        Obviously, all is forgiven or they are just that horny. lol. I mean he is not even wanting to hold a grudge. I mean she has GOT to have kryptonite in her panties to get a man to go out on a limb like this. I’m still having a hard time trying to figure out if this is love or lust, but in the moment of passion I don’t think that it really matters, now does it? lol

Verse 2:
Remember we use to sneak off when your mama dosed off
Hit the back seat of my Chevy fog up the windows
Made love to sweet lady our favorite song
kept it moving slow and steady to the tempo
Then we would lay there and hold on to each other like there wasn’t a tomorrow
I can’t get over your voice on the phone, we’ve been apart for so long

 

        LMAO!!! See parents….THIS is why you should equip your child with house arrest ankle bracelets! lol.  Teach your girls that leather burn is a hoe’s tattoo…lol. This verse in and of itself just keeps me cracking up! It is so romantic, and so serious, yet hilariously funny because someone , somewhere has done some…if not all..of this at one point in time in their life. And there he is remembering it all years later. See…if you got that Good Good ladies they will always remember. Better yet, he will admit to cuddling!!!!!!! Chorus repeats and then…..

Verse 3

You know, damn well, you’re suppose to be in my life
Riding by my side (Oh yeah yeah)
You know, damn well, you’re suppose to be coming home to me every night

Baby if you’re not that far away
Maybe we can spend the day
Catch up on all the loving we lost
Let me kiss you in your favorite place

        So….. if he doesn’t get what he wants he damn near gets beligerent..lol. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL, WOMAN! All he wants to do is kiss you in your favorite place.  Just KINKY!!! KINKY , I TELL YA! lol.  Yep.. been there. Had the kind of passion where you knew better than to be left alone in the same place with that other person because baby making would surely follow no matter the consequences…. *shakes head at the thought* Sorry, had a flash back…lmao!

        Well, every time I listen to this song I think of what I went through that made this song so relevant to me. I thank the person who decided to bring it to my attention and I will always hold a special place for this song in my heart. Tales like this really do happen in real life….and I am a witness to it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always turn out to be a love connection….but the memories are a nice reminder of what love can look like. It gives you hope of what is in the future. And if nothing else, it is just nice to know that you are wanted. I refuse to lose hope for love. I simply refuse to.

P.S. I also refuse not to die laughing at the fact that the model who Tyra Banks yelled at is in this video. lmao.

P.P.S. I refuse to fight the urge to call him K-C from Jodeci. lmao!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

200 Men Said…..Oedipus’s Words

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum. So, I thought of this question in early January and it has been sitting idly by in my blog cue for weeks. And then today I was sitting in my office listening to Pandora when India Arie‘s Talk to Her graced my headphones. [ To Read my blog about the lyrics, Click Here~> Lyrically Speaking:India Arie~Talk to Her]

        It has always baffled me how guys can walk up to you on the street or on the internet and have some of the most FOUL and inappropriate things come out of their mouths. It honestly made me wonder were they raised by wolves or if their mothers had any home training. Who does that?! There was a HUGE disconnect when it came to how you spoke to and respected your mother and how you are supposed to speak to a female that you are interested in. It was a prime example of The Village failing us again [To Read on my ideas about It Takes a Village<~Click Here]. Somewhere along the line this foulness had become acceptable, the norm, for guys to say whatever they wanted to either impress their boys or simply because they hadn’t been made to do better by the older males surrounding them, or by the women that they were seeking.

        As a woman with brothers galore and godbrothers to the hills, I know for a fact that my brothers would fight ‘AIN nut who thought that he would talk out the side of their neck in my direction. These are the same brothers that respect their women at all times. Of course they are guys and guys will do what guys do…. but they are not boys… my brothers are men. And yes, I know it sounds like Big sis is protecting her baby brothers, but it is more than that… I am using them as an example because I know that it can be done. Majority of my brothers are married, and the single ones ( meaning not married) have chosen some of the most wonderful women to share their time with that I would be proud to call any of them my sister-in-laws. It is possible.

        How can a man respect his mother who gave life and then disrespect a woman with whom he has chosen to share life? I don’t get it. I wonder how a guy would respond if a potential suitor walked up to his mother and said “Damn, you’s one fine bitch” or shouted out to his sister “I’d like to fuck you cuz you be a fine mufucker.” Yes, these are the things that have been said to my brothers’ sister, my nephew’s aunt, and my father’s daughter. Is it only because you only want to protect your own family, and make sure that women who share the same blood as you are respected but could care less about everyone else? I mean really, would you have respect for a female who answered to “Aye, yo… you come here”? What could a woman with that low of stock in her self-esteem do for you when you need a pick me up? What could she teach your current kids or future kids about demanding respect from others? Believe it or not, I think that the way a guy solicites a woman and the woman he decides to share his time with is a HUGE representation of who he feels he is and what he thinks he deserves. I mean really… do you think that Diddy would date Tasha’nae from Burger Kind while touring with Dirty Money? I think NOT! All he gets are J-Los because that is what he feels he deserves. Ever seen a physically beautiful girl with a physically not so attractive male? They both had a mutual understanding of what they both felt they deserved and it had, in some cases, nothing to do with materialistic things.

        So, I wanted to know how many of my 200 Men had forgotten their mothers at home when out and about conversing with women that they found interest in and I asked them the following question:

When choosing words to converse with a woman, have you ever said anything that you wouldn’t want said to you mother or your sister? If so, why did you say it to this woman? Send me a note for longer answers or clarification.

  

And their final answers were:

• James F:  the way i talk to other women and my mom is totally different…i mean im sure my mom has already heard some wild crazy things in her life so nah i dont even look at it like that…i say whatever i wanna say to women…she’s a woman she knows some of these b*tches and h*es aint sh*t….she tells me to beware of these lying ass scandalous b*tches she knows how some females can be
• *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I have never talked to any woman in a derogatory way……Its not my style. I was raised by Single Mom, GrandMa, Aunties, Cousins and Sisters.
•  Sincere:  never, because i have a mother, sister, and daughter
•  ”DUKE” BANNER: i must say, i have never disrespected my queen. i had a mother, i have a sister, niece ,even female cousins, you are my queen. never, no less, just like a queen. my conversation tells her how good she looks, how beautiful she is, what she means to me
• Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: Yes, i have and just because she is a woman doesn’t mean i am speaking to my mother. I am speaking to that person not to the whole sex class nor would i use different words for specific groups. I know you females are made from a different cloth than everything on the earth but that doesn’t eliminate you from being told of ones feels or espressions. We all are created equal as we all deserve the same thing, spoke to the same way when warranted (doesn’t mean disrespectful) and treated like the person whom you are to me. I am speaking from a biblical point of view because i don’t do the Human point of view since its proven we can’t govern ourselves correctly.
• K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I AM A MASTER WITH WORDS, I JUST KNOW WHEN TO SAY AND LET MY ACTION SPEAK EVEN LOUDER THAN WORDS!
• Esau M: i watch what i say because what u say can effect the outcome of a lot of things
• James M: Yes, I have said things to a woman that I wouldn’t want said to my mother. They weren’t negative things but things said during sex or in intimate situations.
• Lateef25: yeah, mostly about sex in the heat of the moment
• Boss: NO, never
• Hit me up on facebook-Uriel B:   one time when I was talking with my home girl, I slipped and called my her a female dog but I apologized and told her that I didn’t mean to call her that
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi:   nah, i never did..but there r no words that shouldnt b said to certain ppl..now there r words that shouldnt b said by certain ppl..like im sure my Mom could b a bitch..but would i call her one..no!
• RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]:  no, because i watch wat i say
• djmel1:  yes, i have. no comment. the game is to be sold not to be told.
• Code Name Bigsexy: well first off, you dont want to sleep with your mother. but if it works for the woman you talkin to then??
• Delonte M: I simply talk to my female peers and my mother different because one is my female peer and one is my mother. However, It’s not in me to disrespect female peers that I respect. I’m not rude to women unless they deserve it.
• rroyallty:  im sure I have said some harsh things and hurt some feelings in the past. No one is perfect. But as I have matured, I have learned from my mistakes and improve on the present and future
• Dezi: Yes, I have.
• BIG SEKZI: nope
• Sybree B:  no, i dont disrespect the women in my family and i would advise the next man not to either.
•  …….:  lol nothing wrong with a little talking dirty after dark.Nobody wants to ever envision there mother or sister hearing that kind of content.

 

        Okay… so let me make myself clear, based on reading these comments. It is okay to talk differently to your woman in the privacy of your bedroom when it comes to talking dirty. Of course, we are not into the whole Oedipus complex…we must separate that part from our parents. But any other time when speaking to a person of the opposite sex do you show them the same respect that you would want shown to the women in your family?

 

        I keep seeing a lot of my 200 men post that a woman needs to let a man be a man, and then when asked what that means, the man things that come up are for him to be a provider and a protector. If you are a man, you will provide and protect for every female that you come in contact with until she shows you that she is unworthy and then you stop and move on. Women are told all of the time to not brig baggage….men too have to learn to leave their baggage with the last woman who misused their chivalry and renew it with every new face that crosses their path. It is a cycle, you disrespect a sister of a guy who may one day date your sister and disrespect her and then children are born who watch disrespect being passed before them. Seems far-fetched but it isn’t. It is already happening.

 

        Using James F’s comment from above, his mother knows that these bitches aint shit so he can talk to us ay kind of way, right ( speculating)? This is the frame of mind that is running rampid in our communities and the good women are getting hit with these bullets like a drive-by shooter with bad aim. This is erroneous behavior; no disrespect to his mother or her methods of raising her son. No, there are SOME women who are bitches that aint shit, just like SOME men are dogs. I was taught, put on your best behavior until other behavior is warranted. Meaning, instead of introducing yourself as an ass….treat this person with the utmost respect until they disrespect you. Then, and only then, should you have the CHOICE to be disrespectful back, but even then you have the opportunity to remain respectful and walk away leaving them in their ignorance.  I am a strong believer that a MAN remains a man at all times, just as a WOMAN will remain a woman at all times. No one, and I mean no one but you should have the power to make you come out of the pocket of your character.

 

        If this is your behavior… there is time and room to mature. The more respect that you put into the universe is the same amount that you will get back in return. This life we were given is a journey of learning. It is a HUGE goal of mine to get every guy to understand the meaning behind what he broadcasts about himself into the world. There are enough social programs and bitter women to take care of the girls… I think I am the Man Whisperer. I get why some of the behavior occurs, but want to help them to present the best THEM that there is to present. One guy wanting to be a man at a time.

 

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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Please, Pose In Rememberance of Me!!!

Ladies,

Ever turned on your PC/Mac, the computer and not the make-up, just wanting to cruise profile pics of a bunch of guys, or even innocently clicked on a profile to see who sent you the random and rather pointless “Poke”? Or have you ever been too afraid to open up an email while at work because you have no clue what kind of profile pic will pop up, or can’t bare to stomach being accosted by a too proud guy who has too much faith in his “God can’t be that cruel to give that as a gift to women” kind of body? Well, have no fear… I AM HERE. I, too, hate having this world be filled with guys who have no CLUE what it is that women want when it comes to internet introductions and profile presentations. Hopefully, this blog will help you. Women of the Jury I present to you……

Exhibit A: The good old Bike, pet, wall, random scenary..everything BUT a picture of who owns the page?

Fellas: This makes us wonder what you look like, but not in a good way. We don’t see the bike, and only a hoodrat/gold digger would ever care what kind of car or truck you drive. If you in fact want a real woman…..post a real picture of yourself. Pictures like this scream “Bike for Sale” or ugly dude trying to seduce me with this bike that he’s…putting up for sale. Either way, this is NOT doing whatever it is that you think it should do in order to get you a girl. This to us is the equivalent of a fat girl only taking pics from the chest up…. she’s hiding something and doesn’t want us to see it. Well… since you don’t want us to see it, why should we waste our time trying to get to know you? Being yourself is the best thing that you can be. If you post a real picture I will promise to tell the ladies to wear their real hair at least once a month so you can know what grade of hair your future children may inherit. Deal?

Exhibit B: The thug that’s too hard for the hood and has hood credit on a black card. The kind of guy who always has the pic filled with liquor, weed, other drug related references, t-shirts, posters, etc and may actually partake in the activity in the midst of taking a photo…yeh…. screams sexy doesn’t it?

Fellas: Really?!!!! You must ONLY want to be with weed heads, crack heads, chicken heads, bobble heads, potato heads….anything with a head.  Looking at this makes me wonder if I have loss any brain cells due to second-hand viewing. My name should be Gonorrhea, pronounced Go-nor-ray…get it right!, I should have 6.75 children & this is my 8th baby daddy. This to a REAL woman would get passed in a heartbeat. This is like a big butt to a caucasian woman…UNWANTED AND DEFINITELY NOT CUTE! You have visually taken away any sex appeal. A woman is now thinking about how gross it would be to kiss you because your kisses would taste like either weed or tobacco…sooo nasty. And I know we’re not to judge a book by its cover… but you have made the cover of this book so unappealing that I could care less what the book is about because if you don’t care about the cover, the content between the binders can’t be all that fulfilling either. First impressions are lasting impressions and this say HOOOOOOOOOOD! As in the mentality and not the place… you can live in the hood and turn out very well, but a hood mentality is nothing to brag about….not at this level anyway. This actually breaks my heart to see….NEXT.

Exhibit C: The riffle toting man branding himself un[F]witable as he holds his manhood in his hand, praying that no one researches his nonexistent gun license.

Fellas: Nothing says “Loving” like my Toasters Strudel & a sawed-off shotgun! *Pillsbury Doughboy laugh* Yeh, FAUX News posts news reels daily of guys who have lost their mind when their girl revokes access to the cookie. Guys stabbing, shooting, setting ablaze,bar-b-queing, and even boiling and serving for dinner a current or ex-girlfriend. I HIGHLY doubt that this would attract too many SANE girlfriends. If a girl asks you out from this picture alone, call the cops because she is planning to either set you up or kill you for an insurance policy. The appropriate way to display your pride in your gun collection is umm…. to NOT display it. Mention it on your profile, once you talk with the girl and get comfortable & see that she can handle you as a person and your love for the outdoors…THEN you ask her if it is okay to reveal a photo of you with a gun. Girls look at stuff like that far differently than guys do. You want a welcoming picture and not a “Jason asked Cheney if he could borrow his riffle” kind of pic. Women like a protector, but a protector from other things and not always posed to shoot her if she decided to surprise you with a kinky round of cops and robbers and winds up with a shell, not her undies, on the ground and a round in her butt [finish joke here].I don’t see YOU in this pic. I see a gun that I think you already love more than any woman who would enter your world. Is there a medical term for people who have intimate relationships with artillery?

Exhibit D: The “Not Quite Him” Guy: The guy who looks one way, swears in his head that he looks another way but denial has yet to be a word he can spell without assistance. You have to see the examples to know what I mean.

The Guy who was brave enough to take this pic even though he looks like THIS, because somewhere deep down in his disillusioned mind someone, or himself, said that he looks like…..

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT……

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT……

Okay now you can look……

They swore that he looked like THIS! Yes, THIS!

GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! I posted that pic and forgot where I was headed with this entire blog entry. Give me a minute for I have sinned-ed!!!!!!!! *Drools…….I should have kept up with his profile… [Blaspheme] smh.

I’m going to really have to take time away from this blog because I am really blank after that pic. All jokes aside… brb. lmbo!

LMBO!

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ROTFL

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ROTFLMBO

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CTFU

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ROTFCTFU

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And any other combination of acronyms that you could come up with. Yes, I too am laughing at the fact that people who have NOOOOO business posing have the guts to post stuff like that. I know what he thought. The Top guy in Exhibit C was proud in his manhood.

Fellas: He forgot a very , VERY, very important lesson to remember…and that is that women are more MENTAL and not visual creatures like men. He is thinking from a MAN’s standpoint with this picture. You have taken away any fantasy that a woman may have by showing her what you ACTUALLY have….and I promise you what she was thinking was far better. Male strippers don’t have to work nor strip as hard as females because the male dancers know how to feed women a fantasy of what he has. Everyone knows he has a fluffer in the back and the list goes on….DONT TAKE AWAY MY FANTASY! Where this guy went wrong: 1. You have offended innocent women who did not ask to be flashed with an imprint of your genital area. 2. You have now told me what you think is the best thing that you have to offer. 3. If the smallest “area” of your entire being is the best that you have to offer why should I continue to try to get to know you? 4. Thanks for pushing any by standing children and teenagers into or further into puberty than had been planned by their parents. 5. Thanks for giving me hours of Twitter commentary and TwitPics. 6. How much self-esteem must you have that you do not care who has access to view your body….so even you don’t really view your “prized jewel” as a real gift. Since ANY woman viewing your page can see it…why should I think it was anything special for me to have? 7. Well at LEAST I know you’re not homophobic b/c ANYONE can view your pic. So you’re open minded…there’s one plus. 8. I had nothing else… I just hate odd numbers.lol.

So In conclusion……..

Fellas: Women still love to be wooed. We love for you to be fully clothed, on your best behaviour and putting your BEST foot forward. Majority of the pictures that we ACTUALLY see I couldn’t and WOULDNT post on my blog…well not today anyway. lol. But all of the pics I come across look as if you are more concerned with what your “boys” will think is cool if they saw your profile and has no regard whatsoever about what a possible prospective girlfriend would think if she looked at it. If your “boys” matter to you so much….. DATE YOUR BOYS! If that is not how you swing….and you genuinely and solely love women, present yoruself in a masculine manner that appeals to women; it can be done. Clean your bedroom up in the background. DONT POST A GROUP PHOTO AS YOUR PROFILE PIC!!!!! Dress in your every day gear but make sure you’re not sagging like a kid, write in proper sentences, use Punctuation and Capital letters…but not ALL CAPITAL LETTERS UNLESS YOU ARE YELLING OR MAKING A POINT! I’m not the best at punctuation, but please at least write in a way that shows me you are intelligent, made it past the 6th grade, and actually wish to impress me with your best. First impressions are all that we get sometimes…and just because this is the internet doesn’t mean that you get to rest on how you speak with a person. I’ll attack everything else in another blog… but this will bring you more REAL women in the meantime if you make these small profile pic changes. Trust me…..NOTHING ABOVE really attracted me..okay well the guy with the tatts made me forget a few things, but honestly I like the boy next door… a guy that looks like ummmm THIS:

 Beautiful smile…. simple. I know what he looks like, and although I don’t know him…. there is enough mystery here for me to send him a Wink, Poke, or a smiley face. He isn’t trying too hard to impress me, and I like that; a guy who is confident…or at least appears to be…in his own skin enough to the point where this pic was the one he chose to represent him. THIS is what will draw more women in than anything else you will ever hear your boys tell you women are attracted to. If you didn’t hear it from the kind of woman you are trying to attract…its a lie! So…. go remove those pics and post better ones. Happy Profiling!

Jury…court is adjourned

~My Mother’s Daughter