~*2Deep*~

Please, Pose In Rememberance of Me!!!

In XY Edition: About The Boys on 2 September 2010 at 3:41 pm

Ladies,

Ever turned on your PC/Mac, the computer and not the make-up, just wanting to cruise profile pics of a bunch of guys, or even innocently clicked on a profile to see who sent you the random and rather pointless “Poke”? Or have you ever been too afraid to open up an email while at work because you have no clue what kind of profile pic will pop up, or can’t bare to stomach being accosted by a too proud guy who has too much faith in his “God can’t be that cruel to give that as a gift to women” kind of body? Well, have no fear… I AM HERE. I, too, hate having this world be filled with guys who have no CLUE what it is that women want when it comes to internet introductions and profile presentations. Hopefully, this blog will help you. Women of the Jury I present to you……

Exhibit A: The good old Bike, pet, wall, random scenary..everything BUT a picture of who owns the page?

Fellas: This makes us wonder what you look like, but not in a good way. We don’t see the bike, and only a hoodrat/gold digger would ever care what kind of car or truck you drive. If you in fact want a real woman…..post a real picture of yourself. Pictures like this scream “Bike for Sale” or ugly dude trying to seduce me with this bike that he’s…putting up for sale. Either way, this is NOT doing whatever it is that you think it should do in order to get you a girl. This to us is the equivalent of a fat girl only taking pics from the chest up…. she’s hiding something and doesn’t want us to see it. Well… since you don’t want us to see it, why should we waste our time trying to get to know you? Being yourself is the best thing that you can be. If you post a real picture I will promise to tell the ladies to wear their real hair at least once a month so you can know what grade of hair your future children may inherit. Deal?

Exhibit B: The thug that’s too hard for the hood and has hood credit on a black card. The kind of guy who always has the pic filled with liquor, weed, other drug related references, t-shirts, posters, etc and may actually partake in the activity in the midst of taking a photo…yeh…. screams sexy doesn’t it?

Fellas: Really?!!!! You must ONLY want to be with weed heads, crack heads, chicken heads, bobble heads, potato heads….anything with a head.  Looking at this makes me wonder if I have loss any brain cells due to second-hand viewing. My name should be Gonorrhea, pronounced Go-nor-ray…get it right!, I should have 6.75 children & this is my 8th baby daddy. This to a REAL woman would get passed in a heartbeat. This is like a big butt to a caucasian woman…UNWANTED AND DEFINITELY NOT CUTE! You have visually taken away any sex appeal. A woman is now thinking about how gross it would be to kiss you because your kisses would taste like either weed or tobacco…sooo nasty. And I know we’re not to judge a book by its cover… but you have made the cover of this book so unappealing that I could care less what the book is about because if you don’t care about the cover, the content between the binders can’t be all that fulfilling either. First impressions are lasting impressions and this say HOOOOOOOOOOD! As in the mentality and not the place… you can live in the hood and turn out very well, but a hood mentality is nothing to brag about….not at this level anyway. This actually breaks my heart to see….NEXT.

Exhibit C: The riffle toting man branding himself un[F]witable as he holds his manhood in his hand, praying that no one researches his nonexistent gun license.

Fellas: Nothing says “Loving” like my Toasters Strudel & a sawed-off shotgun! *Pillsbury Doughboy laugh* Yeh, FAUX News posts news reels daily of guys who have lost their mind when their girl revokes access to the cookie. Guys stabbing, shooting, setting ablaze,bar-b-queing, and even boiling and serving for dinner a current or ex-girlfriend. I HIGHLY doubt that this would attract too many SANE girlfriends. If a girl asks you out from this picture alone, call the cops because she is planning to either set you up or kill you for an insurance policy. The appropriate way to display your pride in your gun collection is umm…. to NOT display it. Mention it on your profile, once you talk with the girl and get comfortable & see that she can handle you as a person and your love for the outdoors…THEN you ask her if it is okay to reveal a photo of you with a gun. Girls look at stuff like that far differently than guys do. You want a welcoming picture and not a “Jason asked Cheney if he could borrow his riffle” kind of pic. Women like a protector, but a protector from other things and not always posed to shoot her if she decided to surprise you with a kinky round of cops and robbers and winds up with a shell, not her undies, on the ground and a round in her butt [finish joke here].I don’t see YOU in this pic. I see a gun that I think you already love more than any woman who would enter your world. Is there a medical term for people who have intimate relationships with artillery?

Exhibit D: The “Not Quite Him” Guy: The guy who looks one way, swears in his head that he looks another way but denial has yet to be a word he can spell without assistance. You have to see the examples to know what I mean.

The Guy who was brave enough to take this pic even though he looks like THIS, because somewhere deep down in his disillusioned mind someone, or himself, said that he looks like…..

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT……

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT….

WAIT……

Okay now you can look……

They swore that he looked like THIS! Yes, THIS!

GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! I posted that pic and forgot where I was headed with this entire blog entry. Give me a minute for I have sinned-ed!!!!!!!! *Drools…….I should have kept up with his profile… [Blaspheme] smh.

I’m going to really have to take time away from this blog because I am really blank after that pic. All jokes aside… brb. lmbo!

LMBO!

.

ROTFL

.

ROTFLMBO

.

CTFU

.

ROTFCTFU

.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And any other combination of acronyms that you could come up with. Yes, I too am laughing at the fact that people who have NOOOOO business posing have the guts to post stuff like that. I know what he thought. The Top guy in Exhibit C was proud in his manhood.

Fellas: He forgot a very , VERY, very important lesson to remember…and that is that women are more MENTAL and not visual creatures like men. He is thinking from a MAN’s standpoint with this picture. You have taken away any fantasy that a woman may have by showing her what you ACTUALLY have….and I promise you what she was thinking was far better. Male strippers don’t have to work nor strip as hard as females because the male dancers know how to feed women a fantasy of what he has. Everyone knows he has a fluffer in the back and the list goes on….DONT TAKE AWAY MY FANTASY! Where this guy went wrong: 1. You have offended innocent women who did not ask to be flashed with an imprint of your genital area. 2. You have now told me what you think is the best thing that you have to offer. 3. If the smallest “area” of your entire being is the best that you have to offer why should I continue to try to get to know you? 4. Thanks for pushing any by standing children and teenagers into or further into puberty than had been planned by their parents. 5. Thanks for giving me hours of Twitter commentary and TwitPics. 6. How much self-esteem must you have that you do not care who has access to view your body….so even you don’t really view your “prized jewel” as a real gift. Since ANY woman viewing your page can see it…why should I think it was anything special for me to have? 7. Well at LEAST I know you’re not homophobic b/c ANYONE can view your pic. So you’re open minded…there’s one plus. 8. I had nothing else… I just hate odd numbers.lol.

So In conclusion……..

Fellas: Women still love to be wooed. We love for you to be fully clothed, on your best behaviour and putting your BEST foot forward. Majority of the pictures that we ACTUALLY see I couldn’t and WOULDNT post on my blog…well not today anyway. lol. But all of the pics I come across look as if you are more concerned with what your “boys” will think is cool if they saw your profile and has no regard whatsoever about what a possible prospective girlfriend would think if she looked at it. If your “boys” matter to you so much….. DATE YOUR BOYS! If that is not how you swing….and you genuinely and solely love women, present yoruself in a masculine manner that appeals to women; it can be done. Clean your bedroom up in the background. DONT POST A GROUP PHOTO AS YOUR PROFILE PIC!!!!! Dress in your every day gear but make sure you’re not sagging like a kid, write in proper sentences, use Punctuation and Capital letters…but not ALL CAPITAL LETTERS UNLESS YOU ARE YELLING OR MAKING A POINT! I’m not the best at punctuation, but please at least write in a way that shows me you are intelligent, made it past the 6th grade, and actually wish to impress me with your best. First impressions are all that we get sometimes…and just because this is the internet doesn’t mean that you get to rest on how you speak with a person. I’ll attack everything else in another blog… but this will bring you more REAL women in the meantime if you make these small profile pic changes. Trust me…..NOTHING ABOVE really attracted me..okay well the guy with the tatts made me forget a few things, but honestly I like the boy next door… a guy that looks like ummmm THIS:

 Beautiful smile…. simple. I know what he looks like, and although I don’t know him…. there is enough mystery here for me to send him a Wink, Poke, or a smiley face. He isn’t trying too hard to impress me, and I like that; a guy who is confident…or at least appears to be…in his own skin enough to the point where this pic was the one he chose to represent him. THIS is what will draw more women in than anything else you will ever hear your boys tell you women are attracted to. If you didn’t hear it from the kind of woman you are trying to attract…its a lie! So…. go remove those pics and post better ones. Happy Profiling!

Jury…court is adjourned

~My Mother’s Daughter

Advertisements
  1. Thank you for sharing all you shared about your father and showing that victims can rise up to in the face of harm and make it a victory.

    ~ KaNikki Mix

  2. Hahahahaha! I love this post! This goes for men and women, cause some women post some BS pics too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: