Daily, women are taking painful trips to the airport only to wind up with landing strips, while others make the complete journey to Brazil. For what? All in the name of some twisted fantasy for men to relive their high school virgin days where girls’ “barely there” hair excited them to pleasures beyond belief. But really… wasnt the whole point of getting hair “down there” was proving that you are now an adult? Now what i do and/or don’t do to my nether regions is between me and my thighs…..but you have to admit that it is not the easiest thing to do to have razor bumps, hot wax scars, and tiny hairs ripped from their humble abode….all to please a man.
So what do the men do? I mean, the LEAST they could do is push the forest back a little. Maintain their tool shed. Put some order to the sausage display. And the list goes on. It shouldnt be THAT hard for a guy to maintain his family jewels if he expects his woman to maintain the jewel case. So I got to asking around and seeking answers from my close friends, and the responses were hilarious. Read the rest of this entry »
Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.
I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!
Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*. But…..on to the Finale.
Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.
Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!
Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?! But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.
Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol
WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.
Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff. Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back next season and fix it.
SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me. WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.
Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.
Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.
Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.
Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.
Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.
Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.
Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.
Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!
Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*
LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass! I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.
Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.
NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch. It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]
Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.
Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.
So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!
Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea). And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao! I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.
Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.
And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick? Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.
Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed Malik’s magic stick.
Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.
AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.
WTF?!!!A Commercial?
Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!
MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!
So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.
Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week. And scene!
So…. after the evening that I have had… I DEFINITELY NEED THE GAME!!!! In short…. Church Niggas! I’m prepared to petition to get that inserted into Webster’s Dictionary. But enough about me ……..
I am still on the excited from last week’s episode. Despite people blaming BET for ruining The Game , and me secretly waiting for Deborah Lee to get hit by a bus….. I still think that the cast and crew just needed a few episodes to get back into the groove of things. We as fans must learn to accept change. Yes, the show is a little raunchier than we’re accustomed but….deep down, we wished that the older show would have taken SOME of the same risks. Secondly…it really is an adult show, hence the 10pm show time. So…if we continue to support, maybe the remaining episodes and next season will give us that happy medium. You know…somewhere between getting raped and rough foreplay.
So this episode has something to do with weed and…..I forgot, but I have a feeling it is going to be good if it has anything to do with weed.lol. As a non-smoker of anything….. weed heads crack me up. [Deletes commentary in efforts to take the high road] But… let’s get ready to watch this episode.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn , Bitches!!!!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Ummm… so didnt Malik stop talking to Jason and even talked shit about him in while in rehab? Or did love happen to forgive everyone but Derwin? And is it really that hard for a father to say “period” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did Malik just call Brittany “a regular Bobbi Christina”? LMAO!!!! Didnt Bobbi Christina JUST attempt to put out a sex tape today? LMAO!!! I know I should be more sympathetic, but after the DMV AWARD coonery I survived this weekend and the foolery I went through at church this evening….I have earned the right to not give a damn! lmao! In fact, my give a fuck is in the shop indefinitely. Dont ask me when it is coming out.
WOWZERS!!! Melanie looks like a midget standing next to Magic Johnson. Sooooo what other reason than a cameo is Magic even doing on this episode? And isn’t he an ex-BASKETBALL player? Isnt this show about football. And….why is everyone tip-toeing around Brittany? I would have been chopped her in the damn throat! I’m the queen of busting an unruly nigglet in the clavicle. Dont try it unless you are skilled enough to knock the wind out of them but not leave a mark. Learned that one from Ma’Dear. Are they really centering this episode around her? DONT YOU DO IT!!! I promise you I will roast this trick! I need to find out how old she is because I am prepared to go in that ass for this horrible acting, but for now…. TRICK SATCHO ASS DOWN!!! Yes, I said satcho!
What was up with the blanket-throw scene change? Ummmmmmmm tacky. it didn’t work with me. Writers…you’re doing too much. Okay,whoever told her to do that… you’re doing too much. Hell… where is Jazz? I need some comedy.
WHAT IS MIA (Girlfriends) MAMA DOING TAKIN OUT TASHA’S WEAVE!!!! That is Titanium blonde. HOT DAMN! I believe she reinvented white. Klu Klux Klan sheets aren’t as white as her hair. Is that mother of pearl? What was Mia’s mama’s name anyway? Hmmmmm. Oh shit, I was suppose to be watching Tasha and this boring, over exagerrated Brittany. HOW MUCH WILL IT COST TO BRING THE OLD BRITTANY BACK? Erica Gluck…. come back! Oh please, baby, baby, please! Okay, come back and teach this girl how to act….. you are TRULY MISSED!
Okay, this blonde hair on Tasha Mack (Wendy R. Robinson) FABULOUS!
Ummm… Dr. Barnett doing the “D-Dubb”…..ummmmm.It is not the Dip & Pitts.
Ummmmmm shaky nerves? They can give weed for shaky nerves? * starts twitching* What? I’m not gonna smoke it.. hell, I’ll sell that shit to pay back Sally Mae. You girl has a Master’s Degree worth of student loans I am trying to pay off.
Sidebar: I am trying to come up with something witty… but it just isn’t coming to me. NOTHING is worth commenting on in this episode. Melanie’s parents seem to like Derwin after 2 years and for some reason they want me to believe that this is the first time that they have seen each other in 2 years since the wedding. Hmmm….really? They was that Derwin jumped back looked like he was still scared of the mother. Now, if there was still a little spite there it would have been believable. But now it just makes her parents appear to be gold diggers. They only wanted a man who could make their daughter rich? And I was soooooooooo exited about last week’s episode. Let me see what Twitter is saying about the episode:
luvvieig:The Game has turned Tasha Mack into a Pothead??? BET, I think you forgot the shuck and jive. That’s the only stereotype you HAVEN’T touched.
Spicy__Tamale: I really don’t think the game was as bad as y’all saying. I mean this is BET not CBS WTF y’all expecting?
LegendaryyBroo: Why Does BET Insult My Intelligence They Doin To Muchh On The Game
RashadAintShit: i fucks with BET for bringin back thegame, but the shit stops their. minus the reruns, there’s only 4 shows on bet.
@KingMe707: The Game on BET is weak now str8 up —-straight up
CherrellRene: i can tell by every1s tweets- thegame didnt keep kelsey grammar’s writers in transition to BET <omg I was thinking that!
thebostonbrass: No you’re not my dear. I don’t watch BET period RT @mousemoney: So apparently I’m the only person who doesn’t watch The Game.
essiekk: Just read this…BET ghettofied the Game lol sad but I agree
iCy_PRiCEy: SMH at this episode of TheGame.BET is not a good representation of black people.
I promise you how I tried to find a positive one, but it is past my damn bedtime… oh shit…. this post should have been posted 24 mins ago!!!! DAMN YOU WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW!!! Raven Symone caught me in the middle of editing! Ok….
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Now Melanie has to lie to her parents about being pregnant in order to get on their good side? *yawn*
And this sentimental moment between Jason and Brit….awwwww…but ummm… he wasnt thinking tight… or clearly…or financially. Okay… I’m lost. WTF was the point of this episode? *Sigh* I dont know what the hell happened? Last week was such a rush. Is someone on maternity leave? Did someone die? Maaaaaan dont to this to me! Well, on to this boring ass show……Let’s Stay Together
Next Week: It went by too fast, and too many people were in it for me to catch it. I will catch it during a commercial break. Okay, so apparently Malik gets found out. Tasha’s new hair style was for this episode only….and apparently Dontae (Terrance J) was the focus of all of her actions as they try to make him jealous. Ummmm…..yeh, I’ll be watching. Will Jazz be in that episode too? Please say yes. I need to upgrade my Rip Tide. lmao!
Okay. Yes, I am obsessed. I turned down quality platonic cuddle time with a FINE man tonight simply because it was Tuesday and I had to blog The Game. Yes, I know you are thinking WTF is wrong with me… but don’t judge me. This is like my part-time job. I make moves happen with this blog. And besides, I can behave in my house watching The Game than set myself up and be wrapped up in his arms. I did mention that he is fine, right? I mean like, deep chocolate, Almond Joy kind of FINE. I mean, broad shoulders and chest on a tall man just how I like ’em kind of FINE. Knows how to…..oh.. my bad…ummm…where was I? Oh yeh, he’s FINE. So, how funny is it that this episode trailed the fact that Melanie wants to get kinky….lol. I know a set up when I see one. lmao! The devil is busy. Okay, I am all ready to watch it!
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn Bitches!
First off…….Malik Crying? I’m trying to go with that. Secondly… YALL KNOW DAMN WELL THAT IS NOT MO’NIQUE’S HAIRSTYLE! How yall gone try to play me. Yall know we watch Mo’Nique enough to know damn well she does that hair swoop piece in the front. Take 2, damn it, and give me Mo’s regular hairstyle. Umm….. was I the only one who noticed that Malik almost fucking fell jumping up on that couch like Tom Cruise? BET almost fucked around and had a “man down” trying to cross market…lmao! See, this is proof that black people aint use to jumping on people’s furniture. I twitch every time I put my feet on my own fucking furniture. I have flashbacks from a childhood where timeout didn’t exist. lmao!
Awww, they are making Malik human again…..and then come the haters! I wondered what would happen to Malik & Meagan Good. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did she really just say she didn’t wax in a month and she knows how much Malik likes that? OM-JESUS! I’m praying for the writer who wrote that in. It had to be the same writer who wrote the line about Meagan not having a uterus. LAWD! I’ll make sure to pray for them all. But I am proud of Malik for putting his foot down, but something is telling me that Meg isn’t giving up that easily. So did he become a better lover after Robin? Because she said it was mediocre. Hmmm….I would be willing to find out for research purposes. What? DON’T JUDGE ME!. I told you I turned down cuddle time. Work with me, damn.
Ummm…you couldnt pay me enough to throw a pair of panties in my mouth .lmao! And yeh… Jazz would be the queen of teaching people about how to please their men. LMAO! at Jazz’s line about how Melanie’s sex life has “all the excitement of a fiber commercial”. Do real wives check their husbands’ fan mail? Hmmm… And who is this limber hoe in Derwin’s room? lmao!!!! And speaking of limber hoes…. How did Meagan get in Malik’s room? Does her husband not pay any attention to her? Or is the Owner in the same city as them?
Teachable moment: Bitches, if a man puts you on blast on national TV, hell… LOCAL ACCESS TV, The RUSS PARR MORNING SHOW, or Pookie’s family reunion…. let that negro go! If you are fussing about his new and or OTHER bitch… let it go!
Okay.. I’m is confused-ed…yes…confused-ed. Why would Melanie care if anyone saw Jazz come to her house? Wasn’t she sitting in her living room with all of the Sun Beams about two scenes ago? And why would you go with a menage on your first freaky engagement.
WOW! Parker (Meagan) is off the chain! First off….did she just start screaming rape in a hotel room? Secondly… Malik fell for that? (Pause)
Is Melanie sitting in a club asking this perfect stranger to be in a threesome with her and Derwin? WHat has two years done to Med School?!!! Doesnt she know you might want to get this bitch tested first? And okay… she may not be cuter than you but she is more of a hoe and a groupie than you!!! Run bitch, save your marriage. You just let a stranger know that you can’t please your man by your damn self!!!!! Ewwwww that is not even funny. This is sad. This screams rehab. NASTY!!!!
Okay, back to Malik. If I were him, I would have picked up the phone, called my girl …much like how Parker threatened to call her husband….and would have told her everything that is going on. I would have grabbed my bag and walked the hell out of the hotel room and gone somewhere else. Or maybe it works out that easily in my head. But then again…everyone is not Rothlisberger and can get off with two rape charges. Maybe he did the right thing. But correct me if I am wrong but if you can’t get it up there will be no sex, right? But since he got it up…he was turned on by it. And apparently he got it up twice.
Awwww… Jena is the BEST thing for Malik this season. She can stay. Who is gonna help me run Parker over with a bus? And not because she is bad… but just because she is bad for Malik. I like the balloon idea…
CAN I COME JOIN IN WITH DERWIN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummmm… that was kinky. But did Med School just have her first girl kiss? KINKY!!!! I like it. Okay.. this is the BEST EPISODE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……this season.
Grade: A++!!!!! They can stay!! And yes, the energy without Kelly made it so much better. Yes, I can tell the difference. THIS WAS THE EPISODE THAT I WAS WAITING FOR!!!! I feel like calling people I hate and hanging up. Yes, I will get the same amount of joy!
Next Episode: What? Tasha has a new hair color….damn was she even on this episode? Oh yes she was…okay. Blonde though? I have a week to let it grow on me. But TASHA IS A POTHEAD!? What is up with me and all of these caps? Hell I am excited. Okay.. can’t wait to next week. they cant go back.. it is all up hill from here on out.
I searched high and low for a song that I thought would speak of a woman’s worth that was not sung by Maxwell or Alicia Keys. I also wanted to mix that with a song that sang of an appreciation for an independent woman who was not put to a rap beat or came within ten feet of Destiny’s Child or Ne-Yo. So one day, listening to my Rhapsody playlist I came across one of my favorite singers, Lyfe Jennings, and his song Hero. Eureka! This is what the juggling of one’s balls must feel like… because I got a great feeling in my happy place when I heard this song. I thought…. this is as subliminal of a message as you can get when it comes to being an independent woman.
Tomorrow you will get to read my blog about what 200 Men Said…. An Independent Woman’s Place [<~Click Here to Read]….but today I wanted to celebrate her. I wanted to celebrate the independent woman free of a bitter bitch anthem and really vibe out to her without even saying the words “independent woman”…well, outside of this intro. Because a REAL independent woman does, a wannabe shouts about it. You will NEVER hear a REAL independent woman claim the title, but everyone else will call her one. It is in the core of who she is and everyone around her can feel her independent power and never feel negated by that power. And I wanted to celebrate her with a Lyrically Speaking song that many may not have heard;I think that Lyfe did a wonderful job in capturing that.
I see the opening of the video very reminiscent of a Superman meets Clark Kent moment. She should start in her Clark Kent stage with her hair down, cute little house dress via Victoria Secrets. Nothing kinky looking but short and regular but still seductive in nature. Think, her wearing his button-up or his college football jersey, etc. The shot should be Lyfe sitting at the kitchen table finishing off dinner as he starts singing and then gets up to put his plate in the sink walking directly up behind his “Hero”. And he should grab her and maaaaaaybe give her a pelvic thrust on the last line.
Verse 1
Superman can’t cook chicken like this, (this)* And Wonder Woman can’t french kiss, (kiss) Aladdin only gave me one wish (wish), That’s yo body
She playfully pushes him away and starts to back up because she knows where this is heading. Lyfe follows and presses her up against the wall just as he says the last line.
Spiderman don’t forgive me when I’m wrong, (wrong) Batman don’t look good in that thong, (thong) Catwoman don’t keep me rock this long (long) That’s yo body
Then I think that he should stay still as she leaves from under him. He then turns and leans on the wall where she once was as there is a speed reel like in Adam Sandler’s movie CLICK where he presses fast forward and everything but him speeds up. His “Hero” is shown getting the kids ready for extracurricular activities like football and karate practice, leaving to take them and returning. Leaving to get groceries, and returning with bags. She drops one in fast mode and “Regular Speed” Lyfe catches the bag and sets it on the counter. She’s even seen cleaning the house and putting the kids to bed before it comes back to regular speed as she is closing the door to the kids’ room; throughout this Lyfe is walking regular speed.
[Chorus:] It’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) it’s an angel down here With no wangs, it’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) short shorty It’s the hero song everybody sing along. You are my hero (hero), you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name, The greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away. You are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray, The greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away.
She is seen walking seductively down the hallway headed towards Lyfe who is sitting at a keyboard. She places a bowl of soup on the table next to him right before she straddles across his lap and they are looking into his each other’s eyes before they kiss. Lyfe picks her up and walks over to the bed and gently lays her down as the shot pans beyond him to the window to watch the sky change from night to day.
Verse 2
Wolverine can’t cheer me up when I’m sad, (sad) Captain America can’t slow dance, (dance) Hulk can’t make a boy feel like a man (man) That’s Yo body
Aguaman can’t work a job with two kids, (kids) Iceman can’t cook soup when I’m sick, (sick) Wonder Twins don’t know how to work this stick (stick, stick) That’s yo body
[CHORUS]
It’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) it’s an angel down here With no wangs, it’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) short shorty It’s the hero song everybody sing along. You are my hero (hero), you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name, The greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away. You are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray, The greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away.
As the view pans back out Lyfe is laying in bed by himself asleep as she walks into view fully dressed for work but now she is in Superman mode; hair in a bun, power suit, and heels with brief case. She shakes him and walks out of the room. Now every shot her “Superman” outfit changes. She gets to the hallway to call for the kids and she looks like a Doctor, walks into the kitchen to hand them their lunches and she now looks like a police offer. Walking to the front door she looks like a waitress. By then Lyfe has made it there and given her a kiss and as the shot goes to her pulling back from the kiss in front of the open door.The next shot is her outside as she closes the front door to head to the car as a pregnant stay-at-home mom.
Up and away (up and away) off to work she leaves, back at four thirttttttty, we’ll make love till we fall asleep, when we wake up, she’ll put on that cape again, me and my hero, me and angel, me and my girl and my best friend.
Lyfe goes into the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of cereal and walks into the family room and sits on the couch during this next few bars.
You are my hero (hero) you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name, the greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away, you are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray. the greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away. (yeah)
Just as he sits, his “Hero” is seen walking into the house with the 3 kids running past her, no longer pregnant. She stops in the doorway and she undoes the bun in her hair as Lyfe calls her into the family room where Captain America & Friends is on TV. She is now back in the same mode that she was in at the start of the video; loose hair, glasses, and comfortable cute house dress with footy socks. She sits down & cuddles next to him and he hands her the bowl of cereal and wraps his arms around her as the song goes off.
Shorty this the hero song, everybody sing along Shorty this the hero song, everybody sing … Shorty this the hero song everybody sing along, Shorty this the hero song, thank you for singing along
Yeh…. if I had a say so in the video…. that is EXACTLY how I would direct it. I think it tells a tale of how the every day woman can, in fact, be a hero. These are the unsung independent women that don’t seek praise nor boast about their independent power, but they are independent women just the same. I don’t know Lyfe’s intentions when he wrote the song, but I am in LOVE with it. It is my own personal anthem because this is the kind of woman who I am and would like to continue to be. So, I salute Lyfe for this song and I salute the true independent women who don’t apologize for being the women that they are because they don’t have to. And that is said without attitude or pride. Dont get that confused with the need to shout your independence from the mountain tops running all the good men away. Or feeling that you need to shout it to get a strong man to want to be with you. Trust me, wannabes…..if you shut the fuck up… he will come. lmao! And that is all I have to say about that.
These are gonna be the longest 3 years. But we’ll be here waiting for your return Lyfe. God bless!
P.S. Scroll down the page to post a comment or to read comments
P.P.S. If you are on the homepage, Click on the title Lyrically Speaking to go to the actual page.