200 Men Said…. Define Cheating

         If it aint tricking if you got it, then it can’t be cheating if it’s not sex, right? Well, it depends on who you ask. Some girls, mainly the insecure ones, get all in their feelings when it comes to their man so much as even looking at another female in her presence. While others, they prefer that their man get their looks on. So, who is right? Is it cheating?

I think that there are different levels of cheating and you have to decide which carries more weight, which is more important to you, and which  is a figment of your imagination. You can’t win them all honey. If it is not working for you, bounce.

There is physical cheating. This is where your man goes out into the world, willingly or intentionally, and he finds him a nice piece of Buffy The Body’s best asset and he waxes it like he was Mr. Miyagi’s honor student. This, to me, is one of the worst, but it isn’t the worst. Why, you ask? Because….guys are different. To some of them, physical is just, well, physical. If you weren’t tooting it up in the air and Kat Stacks was… no matter how much he loves you, he’s going to tap that if the opportunity presents itself. Now, by no means am I saying that this is the right thing to do. And as a female, I am hoping he would exercise a little more self-control and communication within the relationship……but…. I understand it. Depending on WHO he slept with ( family member vs some random Betty) i think he should get another chance. Chalk that one up to growing pains, forgive it ( NEVER FORGET IT) and move on. Most girls can’t do that, all girls shouldnt have to, but there are some things in your closet that you wouldn’t want him holding over your head for eternity either. Like, you really told that man you were a virgin? *Side eye*

200 Men Said….Real Men Cry!

        After thinking about writing a blog about Eric Benet’s song Sometimes I Cry, I thought to ask my 200 men the very question that the song brings forth. I mean, after all…. it is so taboo for a man to cry in public. That CANNOT be healthy. I really want to find the very first father who turned to his son and told him to stop crying and punch him in the throat. Well, now that I think about it…. I think a spirit literally just came and smacked ME in the face. Was this something deemed a living legend from slavery? Was this an ancestral chain that has yet to be broken?

        I am writing this on February 16th, 2011, and I have no clue when I will post it, but in the midst of Black History Month one has to ask if men not crying stems from slavery. Now I have seen my father cry several times and I think that was so healthy. I have also spoken with one of my brothers about how he cried after an incident. Yet, to see a person that I am in a relationship cry is harder to do than running up and hugging the Queen of England! It’s as if the very gender that needs to release from all of the burdens and stress that they are expected to carry are the very ones who have become socially banned from doing so. But was this rooted in a slave father telling a son not to cry before an overseer, or an elder telling Kunta not to cry while being whipped as not to show a sign of weakness or fear? Did this get passed through the blood to the civil rights age where blacks didn’t cry in front of Bull O’Connor and his water hoses? Or instilled in the students who sat at the lunch counters as the were saturated with hate? And did it carry into the blood of the many men who were castrated and became strange fruit that decorated the roadsides of many southern towns? If so, what purpose does it have today?

So I asked my 200 Men:

Some people think that a man crying is a sign of weakness. Are you afraid to cry in front of people? If so, why or why not?

And they came back with these responses:

• ”DUKE” BANNER:  When my heart aches, or I’m very sad, it really doesnt matter where I am; I’m not ashamed. 
• Lateef25:  I’m not going to judge people for crying, but I’ve never had a reason , since I was young, to cry. 
•  Kycajrome L: I say it depends on what the man is crying about…lol But if a man is emotionally in touch with his feelings then that’s pretty healthy emotionally. Then the problem or question is , are the other’s around him mature enough to handle it [his crying].
•  Mark D: No, I don’t think there is anything wrong with crying in front of people . We are all human beings, and not heartless animals!
• CHRIST- O:  It’s not a problem for me, because I know who I am. And no one’s opinion of one aspect of my life will make me change my whole lifestyle.
• DA FLY GUY: CRYING IS A SIGN OF MATURITY!
•  Jesse (TEAM MARK CASH 4 EVER ): I’m not afraid to cry in front of people. It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human.
• DSMILEY1:  I’m not afraid because I have done it before. Real men cry to show emotion!
• on the rocks…:If a man cries in front of others, usually there’s a very valid reason. I can’t see any reason for a man to be all overly emotional over most things..like movies and women and graduations and such [2Deep: Did this nut just say women…. lmao!!! Y’all see why I love their honesty so much..lol]
• Allen Ozark: No, but unfortunately I was born without tear ducts. [2Deep:  I can’t tell if he is telling the truth or if that is even medically possible….lol]
• Kevin R: I’m not [afraid], because I know how strong of a man I am.
• Carlos V: No, I think it’s fine for a man to cry.
• rroyallty:  I think if he is running around crying everyday, all the time..its a problem. But if there is a significant reason and you’re around a select few..let it out or you will snap
•  godschild 1111870: My ex made me cry too much; not happening any more.
•  Code Name Bigsexy:  No, I would cry if I could not help it. lol. And I get mad when I cry. So I get mean; n one better think or say anything [to me].  ©☛Anthony☚©: LOL. It’s not bad to cry.
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: No and yes. I’ll cry, but not for long, and then I’ll play it off. Because men aren’t suppose to show that much emotion. And it’s because emotion distorts rational thinking.         
• Jerome P: Although I dont do it often, I’m man enough to cry. It’s very important to release feelings.Thats why jails are over crowded now.
• Rated R Superstar: Well, a man crying doesnt make you a weak man, that’s a strong man. We’re all human, and we all feel the same pain…
•  DON CUE: No, I’ve lost too many loved ones to care what other people think!
•  LAW.. DA ROC BOYZ:  It all depends on what he’s crying about. Personally, I don’t like to cry, but hey, im human so it happens.
•  Danny P: I’m not afraid to, but yeah it is embarrassing. Because our society still trains men to think it’s not ok. Sure, we talk like it’s ok, like it’s what we all want, but it’s not really. That’s my experience anyway.
•  BIG SEKZI: Nope, because I’m very confident and secure with myself
•  Sensual Nupe: No, I’m not. It really depends on the situation. It takes a strong man to show his emotions. If I just lost a family member or a close friend, I will cry and I don’t care whose around.
•  www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ ent: Tears of Joy are the only tears you will see me cry. I don’t do emotional tears anymore.
• Prestige “The One And Only”: Definitely not afraid but I don’t do it. It’s not a sign of weakness. People just see it that way as if that individual is weak at that moment. For me, I feel stronger when I cry, if I’m crying in front of people it most likely means “Stand the hell by”.
•  6’5 & NICE WIT IT: Put it like this, one day you will ’cause tears cant stay inside forever
• James M: A man crying is not a sign of weakness, but if he’s at the movies crying then that’s a different story. I have cried in front of people and it didn’t make me weak.

• Aries Brotha: I’m not afraid to cry in front of people, but I’m only comfortable showing that side of myself with close friends and family. Lame as it sounds, my mom taught me to be free with my emotions, and my dad told me Real Men don’t ever cry. I found my own way.
• !!!!! A !!!!!!James L: Heck ,I’m crying now! lol! I think a man who’s in tune with his feelings is a true man and real to life. There are some happy times and sad times that makes us cry and only robots and the dead don’t cry..

 

And as usual I must have a FAVORITE comment, and all though I have several …. I choose:

• Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Worrying about what people think is a sign of weakness… Your feelings are your only true form of strength at times. How you fight through hurt, how love can make you feel invincible and how something may move you to tears and still be a man. …..THAT IS STRONG!

And my most revealing comments, and one of the reasons I wanted to write this blog ,came from:

• James F:  Yes, I think it’s weakness. A man should always dominate his emotion and not be a prisoner of them. I’m not afraid to cry, but I’m just not going to cry in front of people. Like, if someone dies or someone I cared about died, I won’t show that emotion openly. If I cry it’s gonna be by myself. The reason for that, my father always told me “stop crying. You’re a big boy” when I was younger. Plus, the environment that I grew up in…. you couldnt cry. That was so-called being “Soft” or “a punk”. You would be a target. You couldn’t be a sheep around wolves or they would eat you alive.

       I have witnessed a guy lose his mother, a football player break his leg, and a DC teen being shot and still ALL of them refused to cry in the presence of others. IN NO WAY IS THIS HEALTHY!!! I think that these are perfectly excusable moments where a man could cry in front of others and people would understand and keep it moving. Yet even in movies like Menace to Society they joke on the men who cry when they are being shot should they survive. Or in Cadillac Records where Muddy Waters runs up the stairs and can be hard crying audibly but wouldn’t cry in front of his wife.  This is where I am glad that I am not a man. Because sometimes this world gets too much to bear and you should be allowed to release everything that you hold inside. Now I’m not saying that a man should cry when he stumps his foot, because NO ONE should cry that easily, but it is okay to cry sometimes in public. But as James F pointed out, his environment wouldn’t allow him to cry; it became a method of survival. But I think it was a method by default because those who would have picked on him needed an outlet and since they couldn’t cry, they would have picked on those who felt they needed to and actually did. So in actuality they would have picked on those brave enough to express their true emotions. But as shown, in most cases kids were too afraid to or told by parents not to because they were “big boys”.

        I think we should stop putting a gender on crying and rather start putting a situation on crying. For example, if a child is upset about dropping their ice cream cone, we shouldnt say “Stop crying. Boys don’t cry over dropping an ice cream cone” but rather we should say “It’s just an ice cream cone. So stop crying.” This way people will begin to express their feelings better. Because much like how there are gateway drugs, tears are the gateway emotion.  You cry when you are happy, sad, mad, confused, upset, and LMAO-ing.  SO if you tell a boy/man that he can’t cry you are taking away the gateway to about 90 percent of his emotional expressions. So express to your sons when it is healthy to cry and when it is okay to cry. Also, that it is okay to cry in front of people. We’re all human…we’ve all cried at some point in our lives. So its okay for you to cry too. And if anyone has a problem with it…. tell them to come see me. *Cocks Arizona issued riffle* Yeh, let’s see how fast we can get them to cry…lmao.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together Til Finale Do Us Part

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

Episode 11: In Hell

Episode 12: Forget We Exist

         Okay, so by now you should know that I absolutely did not care enough about this damn show to watch or even review last week’s episode. UNTIL…. I sat down tonight and saw a season finale commercial. I felt bad. I felt guilted into writing this review because I felt like I didnt suffer through this show til the very end. So…… I am writing this portion on Sunday and the new episode comes on this Tuesday and I shall review.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2 END!!!!!

        Yep…. three days after the finale finally aired… I figured I would blog to its completion. Now…. why do they have one more episode than The Game? I soooooooo would rather be preparing my tax spreadsheet for my accountant rather than watching this, but I am not a quitter.

         Ummm.. what is up with Tasha’s bushy hair? Wait… is that the second Aunt Vivian from Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Wow… did her hair grey that fast? Wooooooooow! The original Aunt Viv still looks beautiful. Wait, not saying that her replacement isnt beautiful… okay..hell I said it. You know what I meant. Moving on.

         I now feel some kind of way watching Jackée Harry now that I know she was once married to Charles Elgin…or is it Elgin Charles? I’m sooooo not excited about this episode and you cant make me *crosses arms and pouts*.

        And did Kita just call her Mrs. Judge? Okay, so her name is Jaunita Lawrence. So I guess they had to get a light skinned mother to make up for Tasha’s skin tone…lol.

        But, to be honest, Charles and Stacy’s first meeting was the BEST acting that I have seen between the two of them the entire season! Waiiiiiit! This pinstripped dres that she has on was the coolest that we have seen Stacy the whole season? Sooooo where has this cool version of Stacy gone? Okay, soooo Joyful Drake, honey….we now know that your hair looks like a 70’s blowout because you needed it to look a certain way for the old flashback buuuuut they didnt have time to straighten it for the current time? And in these flashbacks… whywas Stacy’s hair the same in EVERY scene?

        I cannot wrap my mind around Charles’ acting. Like he broadcasts what he is thinking or about to say/do…instead of playing the opposite.

        And… what was the point of putting Troy (Tasha’s ex) there if it doesnt have ANYTHING to do with this plot. I mean I see how they used Charles to get him there, but I dont see the point of him there.

        Now Stacy’s dressis ….hold the TOMMY FUCK UP!!!! I’m waiting for Tommy ( as the pastor) to say ” You may kiss your bride, DAWG” lmao!!!

        Ummmmmmmmmm….. Is Charlse singing? And is it me, or did you not notice his lisp until he started singing this song? I mean this is second runner-up to Chris Brown’s “Atten-ten”. lol. I mean, Charlse has a nice voice… but this is when they should have had someone else sing this song FOR him. I am sitting here and all I can think of is how tall must Stacy be, or what is she standing on to be only inches below Tommy?

        Waiiiiit I spoke too soon. I think that Troy is going to be more into this plotline than I first expected. I hope so, at least.  And wow… Charles locked himself in a closet somewhere. I mean, the way that he ran out was STUPID and unbelievable. He easily could have said….I left what I wanted to say in the car. But noooooo. For dramatic effect you sat here and ran out all dramatic. SMH…. You cant make me believe that. I know you tried, but it was a horrible Douche with battery acid kind of fail!

Okay…. *sigh* it even ended like ass…..smdh

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Forget We Exist

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

Episode 11: In Hell

        Okay… so this past Tuesday….. I thought that BOTH The Game and Let’s Stay Together were having their season finales. And since I was sooooo swamped with having my diva Eboni Hogam visiting from out of town as my feature for my poetry shows, I only made it my business to review The Game’s  finale. I just didn’t care enough to stay up an extra 30 minutes to write about Let’s Stay Together and then another 30 minutes to edit and post. I figured that no one would care whether or not I wrote the blog or not. Now, today is officially SUNDAY….and I am sitting here watch The Family Crews and a commercial pops up with the Let’s Stay Together cast walking down the aisle… WTF?!!!!

     Okay… so I was guilted into writing this blog. Which means that after I write my blog on The Borgias I have to watch my DVR of Let’s Stay Together.Where they do that at?!!! I feel like I am being punished. I thought that it was over and I wouldnt have to write about it any more. But noooooooooo! It’s like the show that doesnt end. It’s like a yeast infection after Monistat 3 has been banned!! Its like the limp dick brother who keeps promising that he will put it on you!!! WHY!!!!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, ,2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

It is Wednesday, April 6th, and I am just now MAKING myself watch this episode before I begin watching The Real McCoy. Sad, yet so true.

OH MY LORD!!!! I waited two fucking weeks and they FINALLY did not start in the bedroom!!!!! *pauses to go run in my back yard in just my undies* True shit. My backyard is dark as hell when you turn the light off…lol. This reminds me that I need a privacy fence. I am sooooo excited about this. Why didnt anyone call me?!!! Ashley? Jessyca?!!!! I feel betrayed that you all would forget that I was waiting all my life for this moment!!! Shame!!! See how black people do you. lls.

*Damn this steak and asparagus salad is delicious* SHit…. forgot I could fast forward through commercials….lol. *fast forward*

Damn… who is this actor who is playing Ellis Johnson? Ummm… tip of my tongue like a kinky night at a strippers club. Chris spencer?! yeh… that’s who that is. He is so funny.  But right now his jokes are corny. See, bad acting can make a great actor/comedian not funny.

Umm… Charles with his legs up in the air….didnt I mention the tip of my tongue? And his happy face is like.. no! OH!!!! COUNTESS VAUGHN!!! Lmao! She said “I feel it all up in my chest parts”!!!! LLS! I can’t stop laughing…hahahahahaha.I love her!!! I am so glad to see her back on the screen! Okay… Casting Director, you did well….this time.

I spoke too damn soon. Countess is carrying this scene by her damn self. Sad when a guest actor can make you laugh harder than the regulars.  Like, why is Ellis snorting? Was I the only one who heard this? And why must everyone check their phone with extended arms? Are they blind?

And wow…. we saw this setup a mile away. Of course they were going to bring dates to the comedy show. SMDH!!! Can you writers stop fucking broadcasting?!!!!!!!!!!!! You had 12 episodes to figure this shit out. smdh.I have had enough of bad writing, here and in bad life… please don’t make me shoot you with a thesaurus!

SMH. Kita calling Chanteuse out is horrible.  I am still over this whole situation. Wait…. Charmaine popping out the bathroom stall is weird and random. When was she suppose to know them? We’ve never seen her before today. Yep, Kim Whitley & Countess Vaughn are carrying this show.

Waiiiiiiiiiiiit! Okay, so this whole bathroom love confession …. Derwin has been there and done that. And it doesnt even seem believable. There are too many interruptions while they are trying to get a laugh. And I know DAMN WELL that she did NOT kneel and ask him to marry her. SMDH!!! If I see AIN’ bitch try that shit I swear I am quitting on love all together. And why did they walk all the way across the restaurant to exit when he came in from the same door the bathroom was on? So wouldnt his car be on the same side and Stacy would have caught a ride from Ellis? See…. I pay too close attention to detail to have them try to pull an okie doke on me. Still rushed and contrived. *sigh* But al least they didn’t start in the fucking bedroom.

Okay…. I MIGHT watch the next episode after this.. but I can’t stomach too much of this whack ass show!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together in Hell

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

        Soooooo 11 episodes later and they STILL are starting in the bedroom. Yep… my girl Ashley called me from Alabama to point this out to me. Sad how everyone knows that I called this shit. My mentee @abmoore20 was dying laughing when the text came in and this was his first time watching the show…shame. Wow.. so Kita’s has a studio apartment? Okay, so this is the first time that we have seen their father. Unfortunately, every time i see Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, all I see is Joe Jackson from Jackson 5: An American Dream. And wow… why is he doing this bogus ass dance… I cant watch. This scene is boring me to stupidity.

        I am so confused by the shot that just occured. I thought that Jamaal and Tasha had a house… but they flashed the outside of a hotel/condo building. They havent done that the entire season so I have no clue what their house looks like outside. So why are they doing it now? I am soooo confused. Just show the invisible babies so that i can be familiar with something. *sigh*

Okay, and now they chose to show the outside of the medical center as well…..

       Wait… is this fine father the guy from Medea’s Family reunion? Yep, Henry Simmons…..Yummy… I mean…. did he just take his outter shirt off……wowzers. It should be a crime to look that damn good while fully dressed. he is right up there next to Sheriff Troy ( Lamon Rucker). But why is this dumb bitch putting the stethoscope on the father? I dont get it. Wow… okay, how did the son see the gum under the desk while on the examine table in a whole other room? Okay, so I just found out that her name Stacy Lawrence. Yes, here comes the invisible twins!!!!

        I love that @abmoore20 is sitting here next to me suffering. I cant take this alone. Wow… why did they pick this actor to play the father? He is over acting as well. I cant take it!!! Yeh… @abmoore just said ” Well, I guess that everyone cant do everything perfectly.” Funny how he said that right after I just told him that Queen Latifah is the Executive Producer for this show.  I tried yall… Would you all hate me if I didnt write about the finale? This show was over on the first episode. We are 11 shows in and I still know nothing about these boring ass people. Do they not have friends? I havent seen any constant friendships since Stacy’s friends from college left.

        HOLD UP!!! Did Vannessa Bell Calloway just put down the imaginary D.C. chapter of whatever the hell organization they are in? *pops knuckles* Say it again ! Whoodie Who!!!! Is ass a prerequisite to be in this elite club? Were there any plus sized women in this organization?

And of course they showed the funniest parts in the commercial. Okay, and now this guy who is on a date with Stacy [ Henry Simmons] is actually pissing me off. I dont find it comical. I think that it is horrible.

And I called it… ask @abmoore10… Vannessa’s character was fronting. This show is so fucking predicatable. Sad, yet tru.

I dont give a damn about next week’s episode. Watch it your damn self! *ugh* Bored…..still…

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Not Give a Damn

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

        UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I said that I wouldn’t write for this boring ass show any more… but it was on… and I started this process, so, I need to finish it. No matter how much of a punishment this is I need to talk shit about the ENTIRE season. For example…..I mean damn… they started in the boring ass bedroom again.  SMH. Even my homegirl Ashley texted me all the way from Alabama to point this obvious fact out to me…lol. I told yall I was in NO danger of running in my backyard naked because they would do this the ENTIRE season. I can hear my home girl, Cristina, now….lmbo! No….even better… I can hear Wedlocks screaming from her couch!!!

         I blanked out and wasn’t paying attention to the rules that Charles and Stacy were coming up with in order to be friends while they are apart.

        And watching Jamaal and Tasha come up with which object to bring to life in a children’s book is really killing me. Maybe…..and this is JUST A SUGGESTION…..maybe they could make the CHILDREN APPEAR!!! That would be the best book ever!

        Is that Nephew Tommy? LMAO!!! They are trying to get every comedic cameo in this first season, but it still isn’t making this show funny.  Okay…. I take that back… LMAO!!! Did Kita just say they came up with the song called “Save a Thong, Wear a Thug” and “What You Mixed Wit” lmao!!!!! Straight foolishness.

         I think that the commercials gave away the point of this show. Like we already knew that they were going to sleep together, so there was no suspense.  You’re not suppose to give away the meat of the plot in the previews. *sigh* I could write a better show. I swear I could.

         Watching Tasha pretend not to know how to type is painful. And in her words “ THIS SHOW DON’T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!” Yes, I’m aware of the grammatical structure…but she said it, not me.

         I don’t even know how this episode ended…. Was too busy editing my The Game  blog so I have no clue, nor so I care. So sad. And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Commit Suicide

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

        I refuse to comment on the fact that they started AGAIN….in the bedroom! I mean, who has a Wii in their damn bedroom unless they live in a studio apartment? *Yawn* Can someone, ANYONE please tell me the significance of this fucking bedroom. I don’t get it. Is it a gimmick gone horribly wrong? WHAT?! And Why, Why, Why, Why, Why , Why, WHY must we start and finish EVERY episode with Stacey and Charles? The redundancy is making this show horrible for me. You watch shows that are meant to surprise you, keep you mystified until the very last minute. There is not enough substance here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, yet alone to keep me mystified. Mystery babies, horrible accents, laugh tracks, repetition, and lack of substance merely suggest that I lower my IQ in order to love this show….and I refuse.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,  *Yawn*

        I am not drunk enough to watch this show. ooooooooooooooh *runs to fridge and pulls out Moscato* Wait…. *takes shot of Vodka first* Okay…. now I can watch the show.

        Sidebar: For those of you who don’t know me… ask the people who do….. I KEEPS liquor in my house. And YES, I really did just stock up on the Goose in order to watch this show.

        And this half-naked pic of Charles….ummm… *tilts head* I am trying to say in the nicest way possible….but KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, PLAYA! (Recap:  Do you know that this pic never came back up in the rest of the show. So he showed a pic of a calendar he was in for a fundraising auction, but it wasnt a part of the plot of this episode. THEN WHY HAVE THE FUCKING PIC AND SUBTEXT IF IT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE OVER ALL PLOT OF THIS EPISODE?!!! Must I teach you people everything?!)

        WTF happened to Jackee’s neck? I am bored watching it. What are all of these gifts for?Did I mention *yawn* that I am getting bored watching this? I want you to be just as bored reading this as much as i am ….OH! Bourbon!!! He used bourbon in his sauce. I don’t drink dark liquor…but whatever will get me through the next 15 minutes of this bullshit will surely suffice…. *yawn* Shit…what was I saying.

        Maybe it is the shot… but havent we seen Tasha with this look before. The white tee and skirt look? And it kills me how we will never see minimum wage people with the same outfit on. I want a show to challenge us and pop up with a repeat wardrobe. I know it has only been 9 dreadful, completely dreadful, episodes….but I need a repeat wardrobe. Hell, they already repeat the opening and closing of the show why not repeat a dress. And maybe this episode was EXTRA boring because it only took place in their house. *yawn*…and *yawn*…. oh hell, never mind..*yawn*

        Okay. I quit. I can’t watch any more of this today *yawn* I keep yawning every time I come to write. Shit, if you didn’t watch it…. you didn’t miss anything.

        In recap:  Tasha & Stacey’s father gave Charles and Jamaal some manly advice about getting married, while Charles and Kita’s mother is in the other room giving Kita, Tasha & Stacey some advice about not getting married.The same old thing you hear bitter old people say. So, you see… it was a recap of a black family reunion. Okay… I’m sure more happened… I, literally, was too damn bored and didn’t give a fuck enough to watch it. And Scene.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Charles’ moving out really mean that next episode wont start in the fucking bedroom? THERE IS A GOD!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Let’s Stay Together and Die from Predictability

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

        Okay… this is how coming down off a crack or weed induced high must feel. I was just so excited about watching that episode of The Game and knowing that my homegirl Cristinia is gonna have a field day with her commentary and then I remembered that I had to watch this boring ass show.

Take Boredom in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

        Okay, is this like Episode 8 and they are still starting the show off in the bedroom. I can’t remember but wasnt last episode the one where she was too afraid to get married? And yet they are all in love as if the last episode didn’t even occur? SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

        Okay, am I the only one who realized that they roll the kids into the room and they always face a wall? I’m calling CPS on them. The kids never move, they never cry, people can have full adult conversation without ever taking the children out of the stroller. Shame. If you weren’t planning on showing the children… don’t write twins into the show!!!

        Yes, I realize I start everything off with “Okay”. But hell… if they can start every damn episode off in the bedroom, I can start off every paragraph with okay.

       SO KITA IS GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THIS ENTIRE EPISODE?!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! Can the rest of the cast sign on to her vow of silence.

        Ummm.. how did the Stacey see Tasha and Jamaal coming into the restaurant without even turning around. And are the kids named Emma & JJ? How is one named to go to Harvard and the other named to go to Howard? And why was she taking the sheets off the bed? I’m confused-ed!!!!! And why are they dressed so well to PAINT!!! Can we get any worse with the believability of this show?

        Speaking of painting… are the invisible twins with the invisible grandparents? I am so tired of waiting to see kids that don’t exist that it is giving me a migraine. I want them to surprise me. I can’t do it…..shoot me now! If I stop blogging about this…would you guys even mind? Hell.. I say invisible, because Jamaal just asked Charles if he has met his FIANCEE’s mother! Sooooo the only family member that he has met of Stacey’s is her sister Tasha? Where do her parents live? I’m confused. He can meet her friends from college, but not her parents? *side eye* Someone didn’t think this plot out.

        I feel like getting my fallopian tubes removed under local anesthesia than watch this shot. I would rather get my groove on with a 72-year-old man with erectile dysfunction even after using Viagra than watch this show. I would rather witness this imaginary baby pee all over Stacey….while she wears a shirt that she has yet to take off. Did she at least wash the pee off? Yep… I would rather get a Brazilian with old wax from a blind German woman than watch this show. I am almost positive that I would rather get gang raped by midgets with Prince Alberts than be forced to watch this next week.  No… I’ll go as far as to say I would rather exhume my mother and slap her than to….okay I think you get it. Is it over? Please let this commercial come back with credits. SHIT!

       Ummmm.. fuck a vow of silence. If a man came at me like that I would have to talk and then start the vow over after the fact. lmao!

       Grade: Oh hell… I still hate it. I ran out of clever flunking grades. I still don’t get this damn show. At least tonight they tied in the fact that they don’t know when the wedding is going to be. The DL relationship jokes between Jamaal and …damn what is the fiance’s name…it would have been funny but for some reason it didn’t stick. Can I be the first to start praying that they give The Game this time slot next season? And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

200 Men Said…Dueces Dos and Don’ts

        If you checked out my blog yesterday, Lyrically Speaking: Keri Hilson~Intuition [<~Click Here] Then you would already know what this blog is going to be about.  Women have the best intuition skills on the face of this earth, but sometimes your signal could be off and you could blame a man who is doing something based on your own fears and insecurities. This is a No, No.  There are things that women think they are good at, or things that should occur in a relationship….and those very things could be the thing that breaks up the relationship.

        For instance, do we as women listen as much as we like to complain that men don’t listen to us? I would have to say that women are the WORST listeners. Men damn near are forced into listening and women are unaccustomed to doing so. SO, I thought that I would lay somethings out in front of you in plain view.

        We often times wonder if things were our fault when it comes to a relationship ending. Did we do something wrong? What could we have done better? Etc. But then we get into our pride, listen to our bitter ass girlfriends and fail to accept our part in a relationship going wrong. Most of the issue is that we didn’t listen to our partner or the warning signs that something was not going the way that it should, yet and still we pretended that all was gravy and ignored it. MISTAKE! We must face facts. And no matter how many hours we spend hovering over a box of Ben and Jerry’s we will always find ourselves blameless. So, I thought that I would ask my 200 Men the following question:

If there were 2 things that you could get women to do (or stop doing) in a relationship to make it work or last longer…what would those 2 things be and why? Send me a message for longer answers.

        Now before you read these answers, you have to be open and honest with yourself. Before you go any further I need you to make the promise that you will not negate a single one of these answers. These guys deal with women, therefore they know what has bothered them in a relationship. Are all of these responses going to be about you? No, not unless you have been with all of these guys. But SOMETHING in here will strike a chord and pinch a nerve and you have to be willing to face that fact and be ready to fix it, because if it is listed… then it is a problem.

And the 200 Men Said….

• Vince V: sorry I don’t like this question…for one it automatically assumes that it is something that a woman does or doesn’t do that causes relationships to end. when we all that is not true. (just keeping it real) no two relationships r the same, every one ends for different reasons. but if you want to hear the general consensus of the male demographic, the answer to your question would be… be more explicitly sexual and open to diversity in the bedroom, and to domesticate themselves a little more (learn to cook and clean).
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Assuming 2 Much! And Needs 2 Communicate More!..Muahz..Pefect..lol
• …….: Stop always acting like everything is about money,and stop acting like everything is about money lol
• K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: WELL TWO THINGS ARE STOP ACCUSING A MAN OF BEING OUT WITH OTHER WOMEN AND SECOND , STOP BEING SILENT WHEN SOMTHING IS ON YOUR MIND!
•  ICE: Shut up lol…and trust me 🙂
• Lateef25: not be so dramatic and just think before you react
• Aries Brotha: Stop boasting about the intimacy shared in the bedroom. And to stop agonizing about where the relationship is going. Boasting could lead her friends wanting to see what’s up. Relationships evolve so there isn’t really any way to plan the future.
• Jerome P: i think women should not assume what a man knows.Tell him whats going on in your head. just because we dont know something about you doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention to you. We don’t pick up on everything so quickly
•  James F: take care of her appearance and be a good listener
• Code Name Bigsexy: 1 NO MALE FRIENDS.2 KNOW WE ARE A TEAM THAT MEANS I HELP YOU AND YOU HELP ME
•  !: be satisfied with your man’s position in life if he is happy…In other words, if he makes 60000 and content why bash him for not wanting more, or dressing a certain way, etc…just like him for him or make a change in her life.
•  !A Gentleman! (BBM:30A835CD): If I can get women to stop looking at me or guarding themselves as if I was the man who hurt them. Stop assuming you know us, every man is the not same, we’re not! we are all different.
•  
• THIS GUY: stop always trying to be right and stop trying to destroy another peaceful day
• James L: To stop treating all guys like their cheaters because of their past relationship experience. You will run the good guy off. Say what you mean!!!! We can’t read between your lines, to many possibilities. Make it plain and simple what you want.

AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE COMMENT CAN FROM :

• Prestige “The One And Only”: Control your own confidence level. A man shouldn’t dictate a woman’s love for herself, if ever it gets to the point where I am the sole source of her believing in herself it becomes very unattractive. And never stop setting goals….

 

        I read that comment and I wanted to revert back to southern Baptist Church days. PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gone On And Tell ’em The TRUTH, PASSA! (Yes, I said Pass and not Pastor).  Don’t ask him if that dress makes you look fast. You knew you looked fat and wanted confirmation. Or you THOUGHT you looked fat and need to hear someone else say the words that mimic the thoughts in your head. That is NOT fair to him. You need a self-check. You need to be able to stand on your own. Confidence is sexy as shit! And the sooner you think you are beautiful is the same minute that the world will begin to agree with you. No self-denial can be included in this. So no obese chicks in 2-piece swimsuits because it doesn’t mean you are confident, that shows you are faking confidence.  Nor does it mean that the skinny girl who believes that she has the bomb as body should go around and show everyone. Think about it, some of the most valuable collections of the world are behind glass and locked up where no one can see it or have limited access. Why would you expose your treasure? You are worth being the first to know that you are beautiful and worth being loved. Love yourself first, trust me when I tell you it is a beautiful thing.

 

        Of course I agree with the intro to Vince V’s response and “……”‘s answer cracks me the hell up. But they all hold a good point in them. And even though ICE wants to get jumped… there is a point to his message as well. We must all learn to shut up SOMETIMES and listen just as much as we wish to be listened to.

 

       Aries Brotha makes a great point about boasting and being a bug-a-boo. Ladies… if you read my Advice from the Other Woman blog you would know that you don’t tell your friends SHIT!! If they ask, just say everything is good. Only stupid females and high school chicks share the details of their relationships. STOP IT!!! Your man is telling you that if you tell you must have wanted someone to know so you can’t get mad when he gives a private tutorial to your best friend…lmao. Just kidding, but you catch my drift. And bugging him about where the relationship is headed is a sign that you are desperate. Seriously. If he wants you, you will know it. if you have to ask, then he doesn’t want you. Make yourself less available and show him that you have a life to live with or without him. If he can’t live without you….he’ll be back. So relax ladies, your asking is why your relationships keep failing. Your overall problem is talking, so shut up to your friends and to your man when it comes to where this relationship is headed… lmao. Well, do so in moderation.

 

      And of course, the Bag Lady Effect. Boo, leave Tyrone’s issues with Tyrone. Keith didn’t hurt you, he may in the future, but you dont know that yet. Pain hurts but it makes us stronger. Imagine how many times iron has to be melted, molded, and hit over and over again to get it to a point where it holds up structures, becomes the frame for others. It feels like you are dying, but you wont. TRUST ME! I’ve been through some shit and I am still here. You are not afraid of Love. You are afraid of being hurt by Tyrone. Well you left Tyrone. Be able to think logically and not emotionally so much. This is nothing new. We’ve heard it all before. Now is the time to believe it and understand the effects of it. The men you seek do NOT like these behaviors. If there are things that you want them to change, you too have to be more willing to change the things about you that bother them. But I’m just a girl too. I suggest to myself that I need to follow my advice. And Scene!

 

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

What Happens in this House….:A Molestation Survivor Speaks

WARNING: This is a very graphic and tough topic. Personal experiences and sexual references are made and PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

        Somewhere, in some part of the world, there is a little girl snuggled in her bed pressed against a wall, head under her pillow with just enough space to inhale for the breath holding ahead and to peek towards the door knob awaiting the return of her personal boogie man. Monsters Inc prepares children for the monsters who reside under your bed and in your closets, but what about the monsters who pin you down to the bed and force you and this secret into the closet….what then?

        I was one of those children, and I don’t know if I have ever stopped being one of those children. To this day, I sleep with my bedroom door locked, a privilege that was not granted to me living under his roof. I have escape routes out of windows in my house just in case an intruder were to ever invade my safe haven. Windows covered in complete darkness resemble the rooms I had growing up because our neighbor’s house was so close and he lived by the rule of thumb that “what happens in this house stays in this house.” Who was I to judge his authority?

(Screaming!) He molested me! *exhales* There, I said it…outloud. Who is this “he”, you ask?

        He was my father, Charles S Carter Jr, and he was the man who molested me from before I could remember until the courts took us away from him when I was 12 years old. People say that I look like him, but I still need a DNA test to even begin that process. He was an electrical engineer with several degrees who spoke several languages, and a normal relationship was as foreign to us as him speaking Korean to me in moments of battle. I was his daughter. His first-born, born from the love that he had once married to my mother, but I would come to learn that although I was not his favorite I would turn out to be Daddy’s Girl. Late night parent daughter talks, asthmatic lungs inhaling the stench of Newports from his chest as the weight of a grown man crushed my prepubescent body into a mattress for no other reason than I was female, easily accessible, and he had a disease that yearned to be fed. Daughter perched on daddy’s lap became a moment to talk about whatever popped up, as eyes were turned to the roaming hands of a step brother who idolized him and my flat chest at the same time. This is where I lived and died daily. I lived with a military man who swore to protect his country but protected the secret of his personal habit even harder. Just ask my crushed toes underneath the Army boots that were now stepping on my feet for not wearing socks or houseshoes…as if being his daughter wasnt punishment enough.

        I remember being punished just for breathing too loudly; popped in the mouth for the escape of a smack reaching his eardrum. A simple tug of his beard meant I was in trouble. One time, he hit me so hard in my tailbone that I lost control of my legs and urinated on myself all in one swift swoop, just to turn around and get a whooping for messing up the floor. A call from the teacher meant that I would have to strip in front of my father and walk the house butt naked and if he saw me ,and felt like it, then I would get a whooping right then and there. I became a master at silently turning door knobs better than he could and dodging in and out of bedrooms and hallway closets just to go to and from the bathroom in peace. Doing number two (pardon the graphics) was the only time I could be in the bathroom in peace without anyone entering.  Fingers entering openings to ensure “cleaning” because I was filthy, followed by my father laying me on the bed to towel dry me off and rub me from head to toe with baby oil. Slow grinding on me was common place. Adolescent hips popping out of socket under the weight of his grinding, hurting, caused me to try to push him off because talking would make him lose his concentration and bring whoopings. He never listened to my cries and held my hands down. There I was, learning the best lessons of male and female relationships from my father. How lucky was I to learn about the birds and bees from my own father? Every girl needs a father in the house, right?

        One day in church I just didn’t want to go back to his house. My aunt couldn’t make me if God told me to go back himself. I’d had enough. Sitting in the police station with male police officers giving me different toys to describe my fathers penis proved unfruitful; I didn’t trust males. They had no choice but to send me back. I got a whooping until I blacked out. My father took me to a therapist to save face…maybe she could figure out where I was “making these stories up”.

        Off of Carmichael Road in Montgomery, Alabama sat my therapist’s office. A soft-spoken caucasian woman who listened intently as my father sat on the other side of the door.  That is until the day she asked me to re-enact with Barbie and Ken what I told the police happened….so, I showed her. She opened the door and invited my father into the room so he could see too. I never spoke of anything again. And yes, you guessed it….I got a whooping until I had an asthma attack and he had to take me to Maxwell Air Force Base to the ER. This time my Aunt believed me and she fought for custody…but she still allowed him visitations until she passed away when I was 15. He came to her house for her funeral and sat in the kitchen and told ever male there not to be trusted around me because I would lie on them like I had lied on him. And he vanished into street legend. I never saw him, or the therapist ever again.

        My father followed me, in theory. I heard stories of him doing crack from friends in high school, but he had taught me the best lesson ever; Never let anyone make you feel like less of a person. I walked those halls of my high school as a virgin…because I was. Guys from all around wanted to be with the virgin and every single one failed. I wouldn’t willingly give myself to someone until I was in college. You see….I was molested, but he didn’t take my virginity.

        Every guy is not my father, nor am I searching for him in every guy that I date….but through all that I wrote above and more that I didn’t write….I was still a human. A demon like him couldn’t touch the best parts of me. He couldn’t reach them with all of his might because his intentions were wrong. My virginity had nothing to do with sex…my virginity was me, my mind, my free spirit, my determination to rise above where people keep putting me, and the favor that was placed over me even though I was entangled in a generational curse. He tried, but I walked out of his house and his presence with the hymen of my integrity and the mission over my life in tack.

        Today, he lives in Baltimore. He’s never been prosecuted, never been made to suffer for what he put me and others through. One day, and maybe soon… I will walk to where they say that he works and tell him that he couldn’t break me. He couldn’t make me feel less than a princess even though my father wasnt a king.

        This is a part of what I went through, but it is NOT who I am. It helped me make decisions about not showing my body to just any guy. You’ll never hear tales of me sleeping with different guys all in the name of love without being in love. You’ll never see pics of me plastered on the internet that show more of my assets than I am showing I am worth. And you will never hear that I’ve stopped breaking the silence. I was molested but I was never a victim. My virginity never has to be born again because it never died. I found strength through this. Dont get me wrong, I’d never go back a second time…. but I made it out, and THAT is something to be proud of. Where I came from does NOT determine where I will go.

       So, to anyone who has been through similar stories….today is not too late to realize that they had the problem and not you. We are of a sisterhood that many will never understand. I salute you and all of your wonderful glory. I stopped holding my father accountable for what he did to me and the effects it had on my life the day I last saw him….that is not my battle. It weighs you down, trust me. I try to find love as much as often in my daily activities…..today.. I love you. One day you will gain the strength to no longer be ashamed of your story…until then I will speak for you, I dont mind. What are sisters for, right?

        My prayer is that, just this once ,you listen to my father: What happened in your house, stays in your house…..including the pain and the shame. We’ve got other little girls to protect. No time for living in the past. Here, take my hand…..I’m with you as we walk out of our molester’s house. God bless!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

This is the house where majority of it happened. On Pinebrook Dr in Montgomery,AL