2011 BET Awards

Okay, so, I had a show to do tonight and so I wished that I could have been home to watch it first hand with everyone else and have this already once it wrapped… but that is not my fate tonight. Shout Out to my Muse Café fam for booking a show on the same night as the Sell Out Awards!!!! Smart…lol. So I am picking up where my DVR began. Let’s Go!

So, I first have to say that I find it hilarious that Karmin managed to be on the BET Awards! I AM A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, but if I did it to the Justin’s and Eminem I have to do it to them… DAMN… it’s the BLACK Entertainment Television Awards. So obviously you don’t have to be black, just do our music…lol. Shout out to Paul Mooney…lol. But I still have the utmost respect for them and EVERYTHING they do I will support it! It is positive and they turn dirty lyrics into clean lyrics and I respect that. Now if Busta really does do something with them I will be the FIRST in line to buy it.

Now, @Mattieologie on Twitter said,”Kanye needed to bombard the stage and say Debra Lee’s dressdoesnt care about black people.” THAT IS THE FUNNIEST TWEET EVER!!! When I saw this horrible ass dress I thought back to the Chitterling Circuit when they had the “Mammy” dresses where the slave children came up from under her tent dress. I swear Step and Fetch It were about to break out into a routine. I really don’t like this woman. Ugh.

Look at the TEETH on Lastarr!!! She looks gorgeous in her glam make-over… but those teeth are HUGE!

Okay… Racks on Racks On Racks….The dancers behind him look like retired strippers. They look so broke down. Lol. But at least I can FINALLY understand what the fuck that he is saying. *Fast Forward* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Did Nelly roll up on the stage and create a remix. AND THEN HE HAD THE NERVE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO ALABAMA UNIVERSITY’S BITCH ASS ROLL TIDE?!!!!!!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE, BITCH!!!! Auburn University to the day I die and BEYOND!!! Alabama stand up! I just tweeted mad tweets about it. UGH!!! I don’t like Nelly any more because of that. Smdh.

MARY J!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She almost doesn’t look like MJB! She’s gotten a little thicker so I guess that is why. But she still looks beautiful. Poor Mary, she has never been able to hold an 8 count for longer than 2 bars, but boy can she sing her ass off or WHAT! I love her! I want that metal belt too! WHAT!!!! She brought miss Anita Baker out?!!! I stood up in my own damn house and clapped for Miss Anita!!!! And because I respect some of my elders I will try my hardest not to comment on her dress…just know that I am thinking that it is too short and ill-fitted. That bottom slip is creeping and scaring the mess out of me with these cameras at the bottom of the stage. But her voice is FOREVER ON POINT!!! Jadakiss! Khalid is like the modern day hype man. And Reginae is in the audience next to Drake looking cute in the audience. Okay…. I am not feeling this premier of MJBs… she started screaming. I have a thing about premiering new stuff live.

Awww MC Lyte is narrating it again!

Who are these little kids dancing to Lil Wayne’s 6 Foot 7 Foot?OH SNAP! That was a little girl that did the head spin. B-Girls in the house! All of them combined are 20 years old…lol. But they can dance! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL Nawl! Kevin Hart did not come out there with that weak ass step like he pledged Midget Phi Heightless! Bwhahahahaahh I am cracking up at this. These kids are out stepping his ass! Hahahahahaah comedy! WOWZERS!!! Reginae and Lil Wayne smiled at the same time and I be damned if this isn’t the first time that I thought she looks JUST LIKE HER DADDY! We always see her with Toya, but nawwwww babay, that is Baby Carter all day!

So Little Kevin Hart is the host for this year….. gonna be funny. Bwhahaha He asked Busta Rhymes if he is wearing a brain, because he vest is suspect. Oh lawd! Kevin introduced the “No Man”. Its much like they “Yes Man” of the group except it is the person who tells you the truth about everything and I have a feeling he is about to go IN on his friends. Kevin says: “Fabolous, take the shades off. I’m sick of it; I don’t want to see it any more.” “Trey Songz, stop taking your shirt off. You look like a beige greyhound.” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh lawd I can’t take it. That one almost made me pee myself!!! “Ne-Yo, take the hat off. Wait! False alarm. Keep it on. I saw your head. I saw Ne-Yo’s head in Stomp the Yard and first thing I thought was ‘Take me to your leader’” GO IN , KEVIN!!!!! Hahahahahahaha “Snoop, it’s not legal, I don’t care how much you try to make it legal. Everyone knows what I’m talking about, I don’t need to say it.” “Here’s my problem with Jamie [Foxx]. Jamie got in a fight at an Usher Concert. …..First of all, what the hell was your old ass doing at an Usher concert? Second of all, what song does Usher have that pissed you off to the point that you felt you needed to fight? Was it OMG? ‘If I hear OMG one more time I’m going to punch my manager in the got damn face.’ You’ve got to start acting your age.” “Which brings me to Puff. Here’s my problems with you; I’m sick of the nicknames. …No one cares about the nick names. You know what people care about…Where the hell is Craig Mac!”

I love how Taraji called herself a gadget-gadget girl. The Rep. Wiener joke kind of flop but it was cool that they are viewing votes off of the HTC tablets instead of envelopes.

Best MaleR&B
Chris Brown– Winner
Cee Lo Green
Bruno Mars
Trey Songs
Usher

Okay, so WTF Is up with this broke down look that Chris Brown has on with this chin guard? I’m blown. Did he forget it as an award show? Black people we have to do better. And this dress is NOT cute, to me, on LaLa… I have seen her do better. Her side view’s nice but her frontal is giving me odd shapes.

I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE REED BETWEEN THE LINES!!!!!!! Two of my favorite people coming back on television. $500 Kelsey Grammar has something to do with this…lol.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo, I have to fast forward because someone told me that I would be visually molested by Rick Ross’s titties!!! Can I press charges from home? Sooooo WTF is Drake used via a track when he is in the house? That looked stupid. *Fast Forward. * I wish this nigga [Ace Hood] would pull his damn pants up. Seeing his draws is NOT the business… it makes you look stupid. At least Weezy has on the longest Wife Beater I’ve seen in my life and it covers his ass. AH!!!!!! I still caught a glimpse of his titties!!!!!!!!!! I’m suing BET. You’ll bleep cuss words but wont blur this bastard whale tits?!!!! WTF is wrong with you! Audience Shot: I love how Trey Songz’ shirt says “Happiness is Expensive”. The Smith family is comical to watch jam to this song [Hustle Hard]. Puuuuuuure comedy. Even Will was getting down but Willow was jamming the hardest though.

I am in LOVE with Tracee Ellis Ross’ outfit!!!!!! She is soooooo freaking gorgeous!!!! And Malcom Jammal Warner…. Baby!!!!!

Young Stars Award
Shenell Edmonds
KeKe Palmer
Diggy Simmons
Jaden Smith-Winner

Willow Smith-Winner

Before they announce the winner… Ihave to wonder if this is the first time that siblings ( under the age of 14) have ever had to go up against each other in an award show category. And then I have to wonder…..how will Jaden feel when Willow takes this. I could easily eat my words as soon as I press play, but that is my opinion. Wait… they have a tie!! Hahahaha its Jaden AND Willow Smith…hahaha I think they did that on purpose…lol. But congrats to them both. I bet it wouldn’t have been a tie if it was Keke or Shenelle. Just saying. Awww so cute that Jaden and Willow hugged each other before going up there… *Rewind* Jada & Will look like the proudest parents in the entire world!!!! But WTF is Jada wearing? These zebra inspired pants with this gold top? Really, Jada? I love that here you have two kids who are doing it CLEAN!!!! I applaud them both for not selling out to the business to make it! Your daddy made millions…you can make it too. We need clean art! DON’T CHANGE!!!

Kevin said: “Rick [Ross], if you want to come out and open your shirt up, I feel like you should at least put a sports bra on. It was all over the place; you’ve got to take them down, you’ve got to do something.” “Will, I’m gonna talk about Jada’s pants when I come back. I didn’t forget about those pants.” I TOLD YOU!!!

Bwhahahahah Kevin said about Real Housewives and Basketball Wives: “they let women who have never met each other pretend like they’ve been friends for life.” Hahahahahah So true! “So it has inspired me to make a show of my own.” HEEEEEEEELLLL NAWL! The Real Husbands of Hollywood. Starring Bobby Brown [aka Da King], Kevin Hart [aka Little Trick], Jermaine Dupri [aka JD], and Nelly [aka The Juice Man]. Lawd, after this skit I have seen it all! Hahahahahaha. BWAHAHAH! And then Kevin puts on a shirt that says, “I’m a factor, bitch!” hahahahaha Tammi must be having a fucking field day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahah Okay, I HAVE to give the play by play of this skit, otherwise you wont know why I am laughing so damn hard.

Sitting at the table, seemingly playing cards, are Nelly, Bobby Brown, Kevin Hart, JD, and Anthony Anderson.
Nelly: You, Kev. I’m calling you a bitch, Kev.
Kev: That’s funny, because I see a bigger bitch sitting across from me with an Apple Bottom t-shirt on. Let me tell you something, dude. You’re a non-motherfucking factor, homie. You’re a non-motherfucking factor, dude.
Side interview with Kevin: Why would I think that Nelly is NOT on the juice? Looks like a gotdamn pitbull on a leash. I aint never seen nobody’s neck that damn strong, on a human.
Nelly throws a glass of water in Kevin’s face from across the table.
Side interview with Nelly: (Rubs his face to gather thoughts). Uhhh, he looked thirsty.
Kev: (Wiping his eyes) JD!
JD: Why you keep calling my name?!
 Side interview with Bobby: I started this House Husband thing. I was, you know, the first one to land me one of the big fish. You know, it’s a fishing pole, it’s a broom stick. Either way, you can catch something with it.
Anthony: What?!
(Kevin takes off his shirt to wipe the water off his face because it has gotten in his eyes and this reveals the HUGE tattoo on his back that says Mariah. In walks Nick Cannon while the “Mariah” tatt is revealed.)
Side interview with Nick: He knows how I feel about my wife
Kev: (to Nick) Why the fuck you come back from the bathroom looking like Lisa Raye for?  (Nick throws another glass of water in Kevin’s face)
Side interview with Kevin: Look man, I tried to explain to Nick’s little drummer boy ass what the tattoo was about. It don’t have nothing to do with Mariah. She’d not the only Mariah in the world. I could name another Mariah. (pause and faces as he tries to think of another Mariah but fails). Mariah carry is the only one that comes to my mind…. now.
(Close out of the clip with the mock show’s outro)

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Presses rewind all over again*

Keri Hilson and Laz Alonso…. Cute skit.

Best Female Hip Hop Artist

(It doesn’t take a genius to know that Nicki wont this, right?)

Diamond
Cymphonique
Lola Monroe
Nicki Minaj-Winner

I love how Nicki is taking Weezy and Drake on stage. She ACTUALLY looks decent and cut in this stripped pink dress. Nicki said “Wow, I cant believe I won” and the entire audience laughs at the fact that she really didn’t have any competition….lol. Telling statement of the times of female hip hop artists, isn’t it? But she comes back with a “no, no, no, no.” because she knows why they laughed. And as hard as she tried… we were all ready to laugh at anything she said pertaining to the fact of “she didn’t expect to win”. Bwhahahaha. Now THIS is comedy!

JILL SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She looks just as beautiful in this red dress as she did a few weeks ago when I had lunch with her while she wore a simple shirt and jeans. This woman is flawlessly gorgeous! So the name of the bar is Warm Daddy’s; it the back drop for Jill’s set. HOLD THE FUCK UP!!!! My play baby’s daddy, Idris “I would drink this man’s bath water” Elba just walked into the set! BET why are you playing with my motherfucking emotions?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her voice is amazing!!! I love the backdrop for this song. Beautiful!!!! If you have not gone to pick up a copy of The Light of the Sun, then honey….you are 5 days late! What are you waiting on! And Idris need not sit with his legs open liked that. I am not saved today, besides….I rewound Takers enough during his boxer brief scene to know what he is working with, THANK YOU, LAWD!

And apparently, Idris Elba won Best Actor Award; would have missed that if I had fast forwarded through this commercial. Plus the trailer for The Help, which was an amazing book so I cant wait for the movie!

Helllll nawl! He did NOT bring out the 5 Heartbeats!!!!!!!! I’m never going to sleep. I’m gonna watch that at 5 o’clock in the morning after I finish blogging this! Hahahahahaha. But who was off beat in the back. It wasn’t Duck because he is up front near Church. Oh shit… it was Michael Wright’s off beat ass! Eddie Cane, Eddie Cane. Wow!!!! “So, how does it feel to be me.?” Lol.

Best Group
Cali Swa District
Dirty Money-Winner

N.E.R.D
New Boyz
Travis Porter

Public Service Announcement: I REFUSE to call them Diddy Dirty Money. Y’all are just Dirty Money to me. But I LOVE how they were all dressed up in all white, Dirty Money that is.

The music ministry of Mali Music….? Did I say that right? All the way from Savannah, Georgia. I love the way that he starts out. Interesting.

Best Movie: For Colored Girls-Winner
Best Video Director of the Year: Chris Robinson-Winner

Okay… ummm. Why does Chris Brown have on Mickey Mouse pants? Did his knee caps swell? We’ve seen his dick so I know that’s NOT it. And the 80s inspired shoulder-pad, armless jacket is creepy. And what’s up with the M.C Hammer pajama pants after the wardrobe change at the start of Look At Me Now? Ummm.. I’m is confused-ed….yes, I’m is. And Umm…BET, you missed ALL of his cuss words. Lol. Yo, but the HUGE eyes on the side as Busta busses it!!!!!!! FIRE!!! Uhhhhh Busta is my other baby daddy, after David Banner, because he just gets finer and finer the older he gets!!! Busta could get it from the grave, I swear he could! Chris Brown’s Isolations are off the chain. And the way he jumped off the stage and ended his performance by scaring the shit out of the people in the front row as his feet hurled towards their faces…..classic!

And damn, even M.C. Lyte gets wardrobe changes? Hahhahaha. She looks fab though so I don’t mind….I just noticed.

I saw Pooch Hall twitpic them backstage with Brandon T Jackson. Just wonderful! Plus, HOSEA CHANCHEZ CAN ALWAYS GET IT!!! ALABAMA STAND UP!!! Y’all see how we make ‘em in the south! Hosea is fine enough to stalk if I didn’t already have goals, fear jail, and had a good paying job. I’d snitch on the people who robbed Jesus’ gave to spend 3 hours with him. I just need Hosea, some magnum condoms (I’ve seen the pics. Anything less wouldn’t work….TRUST ME), butter pecan ice cream, a New York Candle, silk scarves, 2 poodles, and scooter. What? DON’T JUDGE ME!!!

Best Colaboration
B.o.B f/ Hayley Williams of Paramore ( I LOVE Paramore BTW) for Airplanes
Chris Brown, f/Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes for Look At me Now-Winner

Chris Brown f/ Tyga & Kevin McCall for Deuces
Waka Flocka Flame f/ Roscoe Dash & Wale for No Hands
Rihanna f/ Drake for What’s My Name
Kanye West f/ Rihanna for All of the Lights

I think that it would suck for Chris or Rihanna NOT to win this category when you were nominated TWICE! But thankfully Chris did win! Bwahahaha Chris said, “Public speaking is not my strong suit.” HILARIOUS!!! Busta took it home as he quoted the song, “ Gotta taste and I gotta grab it, and I gotta cut all through this traffic just to be at the top of the thrown. Let ‘em know we gotta have it!”

Subway Sportsman and Sportswoman of the Year:
Michael Vick and Serena Williams-Winners

Oh lord…. I HATE unreleased songs….even if it is sung by Alicia Keys. I guess that her pregnancy gave her a thing for being on top of pianos. You remember that shit that scared us all? And ummm… why does her hair look like her and Swizz got it on in a broom closet before she was scheduled to come out to perform. Okay, Mama still have baby belly. Don’t you all have personal trainers for stuff like that? Because a wide flat butt is NOT cute… trust me. I am the President of Assless Anonymous. Wait, I thought Kevin said this was a never heard before song? And Bruno Mars is sounding SOOOOO much better than that other performance he did where he sounded like ass. What?! Don’t hate me, shiiit. Hate his vocal couch for not warming his ass up that time. Would it be wrong of me to fast forward through this? AH!!!!! Rick Ross came out! In fear of seeing his tits again… I MUST fast forward this!

This Nick Minaj Barbies and Justin Bieber’s Bieber-fever fans face-off is hilarious!

Best Male Hip Hop
B.o.B.
Drake
Lil Wayne
Rick Ross
Kanye West- Winner

So Kanye could not be there. Was it me or did Nicki sound disappointed that it wasn’t Weezy?

I’m trying to figure out who Diggy looks like because LAWD if that boy was legal I would tell y’all how fine he is. But he did mention the http://www.BET/com/ctmd site.

WOW! Kerry Washington always looks gorgeous. Deidra Sanders, 2 time All-American athlete from Georgetown University. She began the Grassroot Project which teaches AIDS awareness to young people. Howard Gentry, in 1979, he founded Young Blacks in Action, Inc after being frustrated over the lack of positive afterschool activities for Orlando students. We salute them for their efforts.

Is it me or does Big Sean look like the love child of Ralph Tresvant and Tevin Campbell? And what is up with Chris Brown doing the Diddy Stroll? I swear he threatened me to “take that” at the end of the walkway. I did NOT know that the song said, “hit this ass up like its my last”. Thanks BET censors for fucking up on your job! Lol. Wait… was that Raven’s friend from That’s So Raven dancing in the isle? WTF are Disney kids doing dancing to secular music? Lol

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I talked about Ralph and out comes Johnny Gill. Lol He brought out Kimberly Nichole from Seattle Washington. And I would listen to what she is trying to sin but this orange ass tu-tu is throwing me off.

OH SHIT!!! I am going to wake up the entire neighborhood in my suburban haven by laughing at this second clip of The Real Husbands of Hollywood…. bwhahahahahahahahaha
They are all sitting around the poker table again.
Kevin: You know, all of that throwing water and juice on me… that’s one stop. I took those because I was thirsty, don’t do it again. I could have busted your ass, Nick, but I didn’t.
Side interview with Nick: I’m in a new place right now. Zen mode, but I can defend myself.
Bobby Brown: The King use to take Judo back in September of ’84.
Silence in the room

Kevin:
 Okay, Bobby, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about; I don’t even know why you said it. But I know what, I know who you wont fight… Eminem.
Bobby Brown, JD, Anthony, & Nelly: Whoa!
Nick: (jumps up and takes off his jacket) Fuck it! Aight, I’m tired of this. I will whoop Eminem’s butt, I aint scared of him. Matter of fact, I’ll whoop any white boy who’s name starts with an M; Macaulay Culkin, Matthew McConaughey, Melanie Griffith.
Side interview with Nick: The man’s talking about your wife and you cant really rap. Whatchu ‘sposed to do?
Nick: (yelling) I’ll whoop everybody. Bobby, I’ll whoop your ass!
Bobby: What the King do? Hold Up, Hold up!
Nelly: Now that’s the juice.
Nick: (to Kevin) Say something else, Kev.
Kevin: The only thing I will say is…. is that you need to work on your legs. That’s all I’m saying. He’s a little too big up top.
Nick pours an ENTIRE bucket of water on Kevin. BWHAAHAHAH Kevin does the scream he does from his comedy routine, the way he says his son screams, and then runs off in the MOST HILARIOUS WAY I HAVE EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN RUN IN MY LIFE!!!
Bobby: You know the King knocked out Scott Bell back in ’94. Bloooo Bloooop.

THESE FOOLS ARE OFF THE HOOK!!!

I’m straight up telling my age for even knowing who Cherelle and Alexander O’Neal are….lol.

Best New Artist
J. Cole
Bruno Mars
Miguel
Willow Smith
Wiz Khalifa- Winner

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww did he really just Kiss Amber Rose on her forehead. Ummmm it looked like two dudes kissing. What? You were thinking it too!

Awwwwww Nia Long looks GORGEOUS!!!!! I mean, she always does… but she makes a beautiful mommy-to-be.

I’m confused with Trey Songz’ jacket. And he is stripping from the beginning!!! He wasted no time saying, “Fuck You , Kevin Hart. My beige greyhound body pays my bills!” bahahahaha LIRL. One thing about Trey, when I met him a few years ago, you would never believe how thick he really is. He looks very slender but he has some mass to him…sexy. Until….I see this negro’s draws. Pull ya pants up negro! Look at Queen Latifah singing along. Wait…t he timing of this transition was HILARIOUS!!! If you have this on your DVR…rewind it. Right when Trey says, “Even I need a little motivation” the male dancer for Kelly Rowland’s performance rolls up behind, in the background, and props his legs open right beside Trey’s right side ( your left if you’re looking at the screen, which you are)….hahahahahahah Wrong camera angle, BET….but thanks for the laugh! *rewind*

Okay, I really am a Kelly Ro fan, yes I am. …..but she has always had this delayed rhythm. I almost want to tell her not to dance and just sing. But I am loving this hat, circa Mary J Blige No More Haters. I am loving that she is singing live!!!! BEAUTIFUL! I want her shoes!! Damn…. This break down!!! *licks lips!* Did she rob a male strip club in L.A. for these dancers? Uhmph. Okay, WTF was that nose-bleed section camera shot for?!!!! You mean to tell me that you switched so we couldn’t see Trey pat Kelly’s ass? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!? You INVENTED UNCUT?!!!!! Wait… was Trey really on K-Ro like that as they went down into the trap floor?!!!

I stand and SALUTE the men and women of our Armed Forces!!!! As a military kid… I will FOREVER salute you! Thank you!

Here comes Debra Lee with this mammy Dress! I really hate this woman. *Fast Forward*

State Farm Humanitarian Award: Steve Harvey
Best International Act (UK): Tinie TempahWinner
Best International Act ( Africa): 2Face Idibia/ D’Banj (NAIJA STAND UP!!!!)Winner

The tribute to Bishop Walter Hawkins was absolutely wonderful. I almost felt bad for cussing just a few sentences earlier. But then I saw Nicki Minaj pretending to know the lyrics to Thank You and I laughed too hard to feel remorse. I grew up on this song! You better go ahead and sang that son Deitrick!!! If Tye Tribbet comes out… I’m gonna have church in my room. OH SNAP!!! Mary Mary!!! Donnie was enough, but they are trying to save the entire audience…. TINA BETTER BLOW!!!

OhLAWD.org! Here come The Braxtons!! I love how Toni came out first though. And WTF does Tamar have on? Did she and Toni not get the “we’re wearing white dresses” memo?

Best Gospel Artist
Mary Mary-Winner

Miss Gladys Knight!!!!! She still looks beautiful I tell you black doesn’t even contemplate cracking! Oh yeh… she is honoring Patti LaBelle. Patti, Patti look amazing!!!!! I wonder if Patti will come out of those shoes tonight? Lol. Y’all know that she is good for it. Hahahaha I love how they showed her kicking off her shoes after I said it…lol. I told you!!! YOU BETTER SANG IT, PATTI! Wait… lmao!! That is Cee Lo Green….hahahahaha All I saw from a distance was the hat! But his voice speaks perfectly. I’m gonna need for his voice to stop going out like my co-pastor after the spirit hits her during the sermon. But somebody loves you baaaaaaaaaaaaaby! Wait… all I heard was Cee Lo say : Don’t act like you motherfuckers bleeeeeeeeeep” lmao! Marsha Ambroisa…….beautiful. “If you only knew”….. how perfectly this song fist Marsha’s voice. And out come Mother Shirley Ceasar!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’all her husband use to be the Archbishop over my church until my Bishop tool over… so we are bound to see her show up in the pews from time to time. Mother Shirley Ceasar is sanging the life out of this song….yes, sanging!!! Okay. I can’t cuss any more in this blog after this…..unless Debra Lee shows back up. Mother Ceasar looks like an angel or fairy godmother, doesn’t she? Yep, Patti STILL sounds PHENOMENAL!!!!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did the girl, Tiffany Green ( some contest winner) just say that the CoCa Cola Viewer’s Choice Award winner was Chris Brown’s Look At Me Now then retract it and say Rihanna’s What’s My Name?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasped so hard, along with the audience, in my room I had to go to the bathroom to take some Chloroseptic!!!! Where they do that at?!!! Wasn’t her tablet working? She looked like she was squinting at the teleprompter. I’m so confused!!!! *Rewind* Yep, like Terrance J & Drake said, “This is awkward”. Who messed that up? And then they said that the winner was Drake’s What’s My Name. I did mention that I was confused, right? WOW!!!! Did Tiffany mess up or did the teleprompter mess up? Tiffany looks so confused. WOW!!!

Cali Swag District came with Doug E Fresh to remember M Bone and Nate Dogg. Rest in peace. Snoop and Warren G come for Nate Dogg I LOVE how Queen Latifah got to do Gil Scott Herron’s famous piece. I will ALWAYS cherish the time I spent with him before I opened for him in the summer of 2009. That was one BRILLIANT man. Ledisi does Tina Marie.

Lord…..it is 3:36 am and I have to be AT work in 5 hours….soooooo. I’m going to bed and then I will finish blogging tomorrow. Yeh….. G-night/morn….which ever coast you’re on…lol

Oh snap! Another skit for the Real House Husbands of Hollywood!!!!!

Side interview with Kevin: I found me a nice, healthy, wholesome woman that’s sweet….                                                                        

In walks Tammi Roman from Basketball Wives

Tammi: Where’s Kevin?

Nelly & JD: Oh Shit!

Tammi: Oh shit is right. I said, where is Kevin?

Side interview with Kev: …..Kind hearted

Tammi: JD! Where’s Kevin, witcha lil’ ass?

Side interview with Kev: ……She has the voice of an angel

Tammi: An FYI, he is taller than you.

JD stands up from the table as if to confront Tammi

Tammi: (to JD) Okay? So what? Because I can fit your little ass in this purse

Side interview with Kev: ….and I thank God for this woman….EVERY day.

Tammi: Nick, I want to know where Kevin is and I need you to be talking now! Do me a favor, tell Mariah do not tweet me when I pop that ass. Cause if I find out that any one of y’all have but a hand on my baby, Kevin, its gonna be on and crack-a-lackin’ up in here. KEVIN!

Kevin: (from far away w/ a voice that sounds like he’s been crying) I’m in the back

Tammi: Mmmmm Hmmmm. He’s in the back. You better hope that aint NOTHING wrong with him. I brought Big Bertha for y’all asses.

JD, Nelly, Bobby, and Anthony get up and run from the table and out of the house before Tammi comes back.

Side interview with Kev & Tammi: Yeh, I called my Lady! So what?

 

Lmao!!! These fools right here! I really need this to become a show! Kevin has started something right about now!

Whiz Khalifa begins to walk up and present and then Kevin comes out as Chocolate Drop. lmao! You need to Google his YouTube vids. He is cracking me up. The top of his head comes to Khalifa’s arm pits…lol. Kevin looks like somebody’s little brother…lol.. I cant stop laughing!!!! I just put the Drake performance on Play-Fast Forward where you can still hear the words…. the song is STILL hot at this speed. You should try it. lol.

Ne-Yo comes out and introduces Beyonce. I mean, I wondered when she was coming on, but I guess I should have known that they would save the best for last. Even if she is all the way over in England performing at the Glastonbury Music Festival. I want the outfit of the pieanist behind her. So cute. I bet that Lisa Raye is eyeballing this white ensemble too. lol. I want Beyonce’s shoes….cute!!!! I am trying to think back to a time when Beyonce performed in something other than a swimsuit. I think it has been years since she’s worn pants or longer bottoms…lol. What? I’m just saying…we could be her gynocologists at this point. We’ve seen her crotch from every angle. And then she decides to do a song off her new album called The End of Time. Didnt I already tell you how I feel about performing new songs. Thanks camera man for being in her crotch…. I told you! Ummm… why was the black girl in the suidence singin along? Ummm is this out yet? But I do like this song…. so she gets a pass.

The commercial came back saing “In Loving Memory of John Cossette: 1957-2011”. I am going to do some research to figure that out.

Also, Kevin brought Chris Brown out to address the whole Viewer’s Choice Award issue. Chris did win the award and Tiffany and the tablet were correct.  Chris also won the Fandamonium award. Now, if Kev falls off this segway I am laughing my ass off. And where did they et this bike for Chris from?  And why does Kev have a helmet on? hahahaha funny. Okay, this show had its funny moments but kev was the funniest host. Je can come back.

Let’s Stay Together Til Finale Do Us Part

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

Episode 11: In Hell

Episode 12: Forget We Exist

         Okay, so by now you should know that I absolutely did not care enough about this damn show to watch or even review last week’s episode. UNTIL…. I sat down tonight and saw a season finale commercial. I felt bad. I felt guilted into writing this review because I felt like I didnt suffer through this show til the very end. So…… I am writing this portion on Sunday and the new episode comes on this Tuesday and I shall review.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2 END!!!!!

        Yep…. three days after the finale finally aired… I figured I would blog to its completion. Now…. why do they have one more episode than The Game? I soooooooo would rather be preparing my tax spreadsheet for my accountant rather than watching this, but I am not a quitter.

         Ummm.. what is up with Tasha’s bushy hair? Wait… is that the second Aunt Vivian from Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Wow… did her hair grey that fast? Wooooooooow! The original Aunt Viv still looks beautiful. Wait, not saying that her replacement isnt beautiful… okay..hell I said it. You know what I meant. Moving on.

         I now feel some kind of way watching Jackée Harry now that I know she was once married to Charles Elgin…or is it Elgin Charles? I’m sooooo not excited about this episode and you cant make me *crosses arms and pouts*.

        And did Kita just call her Mrs. Judge? Okay, so her name is Jaunita Lawrence. So I guess they had to get a light skinned mother to make up for Tasha’s skin tone…lol.

        But, to be honest, Charles and Stacy’s first meeting was the BEST acting that I have seen between the two of them the entire season! Waiiiiiit! This pinstripped dres that she has on was the coolest that we have seen Stacy the whole season? Sooooo where has this cool version of Stacy gone? Okay, soooo Joyful Drake, honey….we now know that your hair looks like a 70’s blowout because you needed it to look a certain way for the old flashback buuuuut they didnt have time to straighten it for the current time? And in these flashbacks… whywas Stacy’s hair the same in EVERY scene?

        I cannot wrap my mind around Charles’ acting. Like he broadcasts what he is thinking or about to say/do…instead of playing the opposite.

        And… what was the point of putting Troy (Tasha’s ex) there if it doesnt have ANYTHING to do with this plot. I mean I see how they used Charles to get him there, but I dont see the point of him there.

        Now Stacy’s dressis ….hold the TOMMY FUCK UP!!!! I’m waiting for Tommy ( as the pastor) to say ” You may kiss your bride, DAWG” lmao!!!

        Ummmmmmmmmm….. Is Charlse singing? And is it me, or did you not notice his lisp until he started singing this song? I mean this is second runner-up to Chris Brown’s “Atten-ten”. lol. I mean, Charlse has a nice voice… but this is when they should have had someone else sing this song FOR him. I am sitting here and all I can think of is how tall must Stacy be, or what is she standing on to be only inches below Tommy?

        Waiiiiit I spoke too soon. I think that Troy is going to be more into this plotline than I first expected. I hope so, at least.  And wow… Charles locked himself in a closet somewhere. I mean, the way that he ran out was STUPID and unbelievable. He easily could have said….I left what I wanted to say in the car. But noooooo. For dramatic effect you sat here and ran out all dramatic. SMH…. You cant make me believe that. I know you tried, but it was a horrible Douche with battery acid kind of fail!

Okay…. *sigh* it even ended like ass…..smdh

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Forget We Exist

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

Episode 11: In Hell

        Okay… so this past Tuesday….. I thought that BOTH The Game and Let’s Stay Together were having their season finales. And since I was sooooo swamped with having my diva Eboni Hogam visiting from out of town as my feature for my poetry shows, I only made it my business to review The Game’s  finale. I just didn’t care enough to stay up an extra 30 minutes to write about Let’s Stay Together and then another 30 minutes to edit and post. I figured that no one would care whether or not I wrote the blog or not. Now, today is officially SUNDAY….and I am sitting here watch The Family Crews and a commercial pops up with the Let’s Stay Together cast walking down the aisle… WTF?!!!!

     Okay… so I was guilted into writing this blog. Which means that after I write my blog on The Borgias I have to watch my DVR of Let’s Stay Together.Where they do that at?!!! I feel like I am being punished. I thought that it was over and I wouldnt have to write about it any more. But noooooooooo! It’s like the show that doesnt end. It’s like a yeast infection after Monistat 3 has been banned!! Its like the limp dick brother who keeps promising that he will put it on you!!! WHY!!!!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, ,2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

It is Wednesday, April 6th, and I am just now MAKING myself watch this episode before I begin watching The Real McCoy. Sad, yet so true.

OH MY LORD!!!! I waited two fucking weeks and they FINALLY did not start in the bedroom!!!!! *pauses to go run in my back yard in just my undies* True shit. My backyard is dark as hell when you turn the light off…lol. This reminds me that I need a privacy fence. I am sooooo excited about this. Why didnt anyone call me?!!! Ashley? Jessyca?!!!! I feel betrayed that you all would forget that I was waiting all my life for this moment!!! Shame!!! See how black people do you. lls.

*Damn this steak and asparagus salad is delicious* SHit…. forgot I could fast forward through commercials….lol. *fast forward*

Damn… who is this actor who is playing Ellis Johnson? Ummm… tip of my tongue like a kinky night at a strippers club. Chris spencer?! yeh… that’s who that is. He is so funny.  But right now his jokes are corny. See, bad acting can make a great actor/comedian not funny.

Umm… Charles with his legs up in the air….didnt I mention the tip of my tongue? And his happy face is like.. no! OH!!!! COUNTESS VAUGHN!!! Lmao! She said “I feel it all up in my chest parts”!!!! LLS! I can’t stop laughing…hahahahahaha.I love her!!! I am so glad to see her back on the screen! Okay… Casting Director, you did well….this time.

I spoke too damn soon. Countess is carrying this scene by her damn self. Sad when a guest actor can make you laugh harder than the regulars.  Like, why is Ellis snorting? Was I the only one who heard this? And why must everyone check their phone with extended arms? Are they blind?

And wow…. we saw this setup a mile away. Of course they were going to bring dates to the comedy show. SMDH!!! Can you writers stop fucking broadcasting?!!!!!!!!!!!! You had 12 episodes to figure this shit out. smdh.I have had enough of bad writing, here and in bad life… please don’t make me shoot you with a thesaurus!

SMH. Kita calling Chanteuse out is horrible.  I am still over this whole situation. Wait…. Charmaine popping out the bathroom stall is weird and random. When was she suppose to know them? We’ve never seen her before today. Yep, Kim Whitley & Countess Vaughn are carrying this show.

Waiiiiiiiiiiiit! Okay, so this whole bathroom love confession …. Derwin has been there and done that. And it doesnt even seem believable. There are too many interruptions while they are trying to get a laugh. And I know DAMN WELL that she did NOT kneel and ask him to marry her. SMDH!!! If I see AIN’ bitch try that shit I swear I am quitting on love all together. And why did they walk all the way across the restaurant to exit when he came in from the same door the bathroom was on? So wouldnt his car be on the same side and Stacy would have caught a ride from Ellis? See…. I pay too close attention to detail to have them try to pull an okie doke on me. Still rushed and contrived. *sigh* But al least they didn’t start in the fucking bedroom.

Okay…. I MIGHT watch the next episode after this.. but I can’t stomach too much of this whack ass show!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together in Hell

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

        Soooooo 11 episodes later and they STILL are starting in the bedroom. Yep… my girl Ashley called me from Alabama to point this out to me. Sad how everyone knows that I called this shit. My mentee @abmoore20 was dying laughing when the text came in and this was his first time watching the show…shame. Wow.. so Kita’s has a studio apartment? Okay, so this is the first time that we have seen their father. Unfortunately, every time i see Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, all I see is Joe Jackson from Jackson 5: An American Dream. And wow… why is he doing this bogus ass dance… I cant watch. This scene is boring me to stupidity.

        I am so confused by the shot that just occured. I thought that Jamaal and Tasha had a house… but they flashed the outside of a hotel/condo building. They havent done that the entire season so I have no clue what their house looks like outside. So why are they doing it now? I am soooo confused. Just show the invisible babies so that i can be familiar with something. *sigh*

Okay, and now they chose to show the outside of the medical center as well…..

       Wait… is this fine father the guy from Medea’s Family reunion? Yep, Henry Simmons…..Yummy… I mean…. did he just take his outter shirt off……wowzers. It should be a crime to look that damn good while fully dressed. he is right up there next to Sheriff Troy ( Lamon Rucker). But why is this dumb bitch putting the stethoscope on the father? I dont get it. Wow… okay, how did the son see the gum under the desk while on the examine table in a whole other room? Okay, so I just found out that her name Stacy Lawrence. Yes, here comes the invisible twins!!!!

        I love that @abmoore20 is sitting here next to me suffering. I cant take this alone. Wow… why did they pick this actor to play the father? He is over acting as well. I cant take it!!! Yeh… @abmoore just said ” Well, I guess that everyone cant do everything perfectly.” Funny how he said that right after I just told him that Queen Latifah is the Executive Producer for this show.  I tried yall… Would you all hate me if I didnt write about the finale? This show was over on the first episode. We are 11 shows in and I still know nothing about these boring ass people. Do they not have friends? I havent seen any constant friendships since Stacy’s friends from college left.

        HOLD UP!!! Did Vannessa Bell Calloway just put down the imaginary D.C. chapter of whatever the hell organization they are in? *pops knuckles* Say it again ! Whoodie Who!!!! Is ass a prerequisite to be in this elite club? Were there any plus sized women in this organization?

And of course they showed the funniest parts in the commercial. Okay, and now this guy who is on a date with Stacy [ Henry Simmons] is actually pissing me off. I dont find it comical. I think that it is horrible.

And I called it… ask @abmoore10… Vannessa’s character was fronting. This show is so fucking predicatable. Sad, yet tru.

I dont give a damn about next week’s episode. Watch it your damn self! *ugh* Bored…..still…

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Not Give a Damn

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

        UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I said that I wouldn’t write for this boring ass show any more… but it was on… and I started this process, so, I need to finish it. No matter how much of a punishment this is I need to talk shit about the ENTIRE season. For example…..I mean damn… they started in the boring ass bedroom again.  SMH. Even my homegirl Ashley texted me all the way from Alabama to point this obvious fact out to me…lol. I told yall I was in NO danger of running in my backyard naked because they would do this the ENTIRE season. I can hear my home girl, Cristina, now….lmbo! No….even better… I can hear Wedlocks screaming from her couch!!!

         I blanked out and wasn’t paying attention to the rules that Charles and Stacy were coming up with in order to be friends while they are apart.

        And watching Jamaal and Tasha come up with which object to bring to life in a children’s book is really killing me. Maybe…..and this is JUST A SUGGESTION…..maybe they could make the CHILDREN APPEAR!!! That would be the best book ever!

        Is that Nephew Tommy? LMAO!!! They are trying to get every comedic cameo in this first season, but it still isn’t making this show funny.  Okay…. I take that back… LMAO!!! Did Kita just say they came up with the song called “Save a Thong, Wear a Thug” and “What You Mixed Wit” lmao!!!!! Straight foolishness.

         I think that the commercials gave away the point of this show. Like we already knew that they were going to sleep together, so there was no suspense.  You’re not suppose to give away the meat of the plot in the previews. *sigh* I could write a better show. I swear I could.

         Watching Tasha pretend not to know how to type is painful. And in her words “ THIS SHOW DON’T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!” Yes, I’m aware of the grammatical structure…but she said it, not me.

         I don’t even know how this episode ended…. Was too busy editing my The Game  blog so I have no clue, nor so I care. So sad. And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Commit Suicide

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

        I refuse to comment on the fact that they started AGAIN….in the bedroom! I mean, who has a Wii in their damn bedroom unless they live in a studio apartment? *Yawn* Can someone, ANYONE please tell me the significance of this fucking bedroom. I don’t get it. Is it a gimmick gone horribly wrong? WHAT?! And Why, Why, Why, Why, Why , Why, WHY must we start and finish EVERY episode with Stacey and Charles? The redundancy is making this show horrible for me. You watch shows that are meant to surprise you, keep you mystified until the very last minute. There is not enough substance here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, yet alone to keep me mystified. Mystery babies, horrible accents, laugh tracks, repetition, and lack of substance merely suggest that I lower my IQ in order to love this show….and I refuse.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,  *Yawn*

        I am not drunk enough to watch this show. ooooooooooooooh *runs to fridge and pulls out Moscato* Wait…. *takes shot of Vodka first* Okay…. now I can watch the show.

        Sidebar: For those of you who don’t know me… ask the people who do….. I KEEPS liquor in my house. And YES, I really did just stock up on the Goose in order to watch this show.

        And this half-naked pic of Charles….ummm… *tilts head* I am trying to say in the nicest way possible….but KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, PLAYA! (Recap:  Do you know that this pic never came back up in the rest of the show. So he showed a pic of a calendar he was in for a fundraising auction, but it wasnt a part of the plot of this episode. THEN WHY HAVE THE FUCKING PIC AND SUBTEXT IF IT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE OVER ALL PLOT OF THIS EPISODE?!!! Must I teach you people everything?!)

        WTF happened to Jackee’s neck? I am bored watching it. What are all of these gifts for?Did I mention *yawn* that I am getting bored watching this? I want you to be just as bored reading this as much as i am ….OH! Bourbon!!! He used bourbon in his sauce. I don’t drink dark liquor…but whatever will get me through the next 15 minutes of this bullshit will surely suffice…. *yawn* Shit…what was I saying.

        Maybe it is the shot… but havent we seen Tasha with this look before. The white tee and skirt look? And it kills me how we will never see minimum wage people with the same outfit on. I want a show to challenge us and pop up with a repeat wardrobe. I know it has only been 9 dreadful, completely dreadful, episodes….but I need a repeat wardrobe. Hell, they already repeat the opening and closing of the show why not repeat a dress. And maybe this episode was EXTRA boring because it only took place in their house. *yawn*…and *yawn*…. oh hell, never mind..*yawn*

        Okay. I quit. I can’t watch any more of this today *yawn* I keep yawning every time I come to write. Shit, if you didn’t watch it…. you didn’t miss anything.

        In recap:  Tasha & Stacey’s father gave Charles and Jamaal some manly advice about getting married, while Charles and Kita’s mother is in the other room giving Kita, Tasha & Stacey some advice about not getting married.The same old thing you hear bitter old people say. So, you see… it was a recap of a black family reunion. Okay… I’m sure more happened… I, literally, was too damn bored and didn’t give a fuck enough to watch it. And Scene.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Charles’ moving out really mean that next episode wont start in the fucking bedroom? THERE IS A GOD!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Let’s Stay Together and Die from Predictability

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

        Okay… this is how coming down off a crack or weed induced high must feel. I was just so excited about watching that episode of The Game and knowing that my homegirl Cristinia is gonna have a field day with her commentary and then I remembered that I had to watch this boring ass show.

Take Boredom in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

        Okay, is this like Episode 8 and they are still starting the show off in the bedroom. I can’t remember but wasnt last episode the one where she was too afraid to get married? And yet they are all in love as if the last episode didn’t even occur? SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

        Okay, am I the only one who realized that they roll the kids into the room and they always face a wall? I’m calling CPS on them. The kids never move, they never cry, people can have full adult conversation without ever taking the children out of the stroller. Shame. If you weren’t planning on showing the children… don’t write twins into the show!!!

        Yes, I realize I start everything off with “Okay”. But hell… if they can start every damn episode off in the bedroom, I can start off every paragraph with okay.

       SO KITA IS GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THIS ENTIRE EPISODE?!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! Can the rest of the cast sign on to her vow of silence.

        Ummm.. how did the Stacey see Tasha and Jamaal coming into the restaurant without even turning around. And are the kids named Emma & JJ? How is one named to go to Harvard and the other named to go to Howard? And why was she taking the sheets off the bed? I’m confused-ed!!!!! And why are they dressed so well to PAINT!!! Can we get any worse with the believability of this show?

        Speaking of painting… are the invisible twins with the invisible grandparents? I am so tired of waiting to see kids that don’t exist that it is giving me a migraine. I want them to surprise me. I can’t do it…..shoot me now! If I stop blogging about this…would you guys even mind? Hell.. I say invisible, because Jamaal just asked Charles if he has met his FIANCEE’s mother! Sooooo the only family member that he has met of Stacey’s is her sister Tasha? Where do her parents live? I’m confused. He can meet her friends from college, but not her parents? *side eye* Someone didn’t think this plot out.

        I feel like getting my fallopian tubes removed under local anesthesia than watch this shot. I would rather get my groove on with a 72-year-old man with erectile dysfunction even after using Viagra than watch this show. I would rather witness this imaginary baby pee all over Stacey….while she wears a shirt that she has yet to take off. Did she at least wash the pee off? Yep… I would rather get a Brazilian with old wax from a blind German woman than watch this show. I am almost positive that I would rather get gang raped by midgets with Prince Alberts than be forced to watch this next week.  No… I’ll go as far as to say I would rather exhume my mother and slap her than to….okay I think you get it. Is it over? Please let this commercial come back with credits. SHIT!

       Ummmm.. fuck a vow of silence. If a man came at me like that I would have to talk and then start the vow over after the fact. lmao!

       Grade: Oh hell… I still hate it. I ran out of clever flunking grades. I still don’t get this damn show. At least tonight they tied in the fact that they don’t know when the wedding is going to be. The DL relationship jokes between Jamaal and …damn what is the fiance’s name…it would have been funny but for some reason it didn’t stick. Can I be the first to start praying that they give The Game this time slot next season? And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Ummmm….

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Yeh, so if you are smart, you know that I write my The Game and Let’s Stay Together reviews on the same night, so I don’t have any preview banter because I was sick majority of the weekend and took today off from work to rest so I woke up right before choir rehearsal and I didn’t have time to write my witty banter. So…..that long run on sentence to say. Click the links above if you want to catch up on the previous episodes.

Take 2, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, ……Ummmm…

Okay…. so I am still watching. Shoot me now!!! I should have started typing a few minutes ago, but I didn’t feel like it. Nor did I have any motivation, to be honest about it. ummmm…..

Fellas, don’t listen to either of these guys. You’ll get your ass whooped!!! Ummm Why is Thelma the wedding planner? Have we ever seen her with a man in real life or on TV for that matter? And that purse looks like they dipped Big Bird in Barney’s bath tub and dropped it off in an Alabama Swap Meet. Did they just say it was ostrich? Ummmm…. Ummmm… Ummmm.. (speechless)

Ummmm… why do they have Thelma in subtle AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha) colors? I know 5 AKAs off the top of my head that would scream that is the wrong shade of pink. And…. why are we watching this episode anyway? Is she having cold feet and why? Don’t yall wake up in the bedroom EVERY SINGLE EPISODE? Isnt this show damn near wrapped around you and your drama? Havent we watched the past 6 BORING ass episodes based around yall?

WHERE ARE THE DAMN TWINS?!!!!! I am trying to help yall create the black Olsen Twins!!! Come on… pick Khalil & Kandice so we can get the party started!!! Okay, we just found out that their name is Woodsons. And I am finding out that Tasha isnt that smart…. really no one in this show has a full fucking basket.

Sidebar: Who is downloading episodes of this damn show on iTunes? Can i track them down by their IP addresses and tell them to stop being so fucking cruel and encouraging this damn show?

i need a drink……*take a shot*(seriously)

Oh… surprise….. they ended in the bedroom and next episode doesn’t have a DAMN thing to do with this episode. I swear you all owe me for watching this shit!

Grade: ZZZZZZZZ- ifinity

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

        If you are able to both read and comprehend the English language, then judging by the title you should know how I feel about this show right now. I mean really. Is this how film critics feel while watching movies that suck? I know Ebert had to have snuck out of a boring ass movie to go get a hot dog at least once! (R.I.P). You can’t tell me he watched every single one of these horrible accounts of acting. Well, if he did…then I guess I have to as well.

        So, Last week, and the 4 weeks before it sucked. That is the only recap that I can honestly give you. I have no clue what the previews eluded to happening this week. I dont care either. So,

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, DAMN!

        Okay, soooooo I watched it but I wasnt paying attention. The previews bored me to tears and Kita’s fucked up accent made me regret being from the south. It was boring, it was horrible and I still have no clue what the overall gist was suppose to be. Again, as stated, the show started in the bedroom. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! and Kita was babysitting again when last time Tasha didnt like it.  And the engaged couple ended up makingg a big deal about havingg gifts fromexes only to wind up keepin every single one of the gifts.  WHY?

        I still see no point in this show. They dont connect, the plots are independent of one another and it is hella predictable. I am so damn bored of this. I cant even muster up enough energy to get witty with this description. So…. this is all that you will get. Yeh… and if I have to watch it next week, I swear I will slit my wrists. I’ll do it with a rusty spoon, just to prove my point at how painful watching this show is. Okay… just writing this is taking up too much time. I’m not even goin to prrof-read this. So suffer.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Bored Ass Hell Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

 

         For those who think that I care about writing this… my bad, your fault. I wrote this two days ago at the same time I wrote The Game‘s review. So yes, I am still in that “I don’t give a damn” mood. So you better be thankful that I didn’t fall asleep and I chose to write this review. Yes… I said it. AND WHAT!?

        Sooooooo, there is not much connect from episode to episode or much meat within an episode, hence why the last blog was called Kill Yourself. There is a disconnect between shows. They wrap everything up in each episode which means that you can pick up at any episode and get what is going on. There is no real urge to set your DVR to watch previous episodes because you feel like you are missing something and you want to be in the loop. I guess that is a positive that The Game has going for them. For instance, Malik’s arrest has already lasted 2 episodes so you have to watch both to get what happened….that draws in a crowd’s interest. But this one is TOO predictable, which is what I wish would happen with The Game. I know that the show will start in the bedroom and end with the engaged couple stripping. BORING! Give me something.

        One thing that I can say about this show is that it is helping me in my personal life. As I am in the process of directing an upcoming show ( STAY TUNED) and assisting with editing the script… I am learning to watch for believability and continuity. Did we plant the seed for this scene in the previous scene? Did that acting choice make sense? Is this set conducive to what the scene is trying to convey? If we mention children…SHOW THE DAMN CHILDREN!!! Okay… enough of my banter…

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, …….does the show have to start? SHIT! Okay, 1.

I CALLED THAT SHIT!!!!!!! They started in the bedroom…..AGAIN!! Where’s my money, Bitch?! You mean to tell me that they don’t have a TV in the livingroom? They could have gotten a condo or a studio apartment with as much time as they spend in this ugly ass bedroom! I will run in my backyard in my undies for 30 seconds the day that this show DOES NOT start in the bedroom. Hell.. I MIGHT even post it. Keyword, MIGHT. And I mean really… can they stop pretending to act and do!

Wait…. what?! Kita is having sensual dreams about Jamal?

Wow.. what is this little kid’s name? You know, he played in Idlewild as the younger Rooster & Role Models (“This motherfucker tried to touch my hang dang”). Umm…*Google search* Bobb’e J. Thompson. He has grown up so much…kind of… but his voice is still the same. DAMN!!!! he is cock diesel! Why are teens working out like death row inmates these days? Damn…. does he have the Gary Coleman disease? He looks stunted. If he does, then these are all inappropriate jokes that I have already reserved a space in hell for as I continue to laugh while I type. Yep… he made this scene….

I mean really, do you stand 12 feet away from a cabinet to open it and pull that hard? I saw the gag coming a mile away like a DL brother singing Its Raining Men court side at a Laker’s game. This horrible acting and bad plot is killing me. Why am I watching this again? Ohm that’s right… so I can have something to complain about in my already perfectly blessed life! And Kita’s horrible ass dream plots are the PERFECT set up for me to complain all mother loving year-long! Would you EVER admit that you were having dreams about someone’s husband. FUCK NAWL! Sooooooo, we’re back to my point on lack of believability.

Like them working on this cabinet. It would have been believable if they would have put it together properly and then when finished it fell off the wall. I was already able to predict by the way that they were hitting the wall without any nails that this was going to turn out horribly. BE BELIEVABLE WHEN AIMING TO BE UNBELIEVABLE!!!! You play opposites! Isnt that Stanislavski or Uta Hagen, or someone! That is acting 101! I swear it is. I know… I have my Masters Degree in Fine Arts!!! These aren’t just jokes people… I know what the hell I am talking about. Just like how I knew that it would start AGAIN in the bedroom!!!! Jessyca just Facebooked me laughing at the fact that I called it. Hell… CALL ME NOW!!! Is Cleo out of jail?

I predict that… Ummmm. My ball is clowdy…lol. But, I bet you that it is either going to end in the bedroom or with a weak ass striptease. …….Okay, he just walked into the bedroom and woke her up… wait for it… wait for it. BITCH, GIVE ME MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Grade for this episode: N+… and that is ONLY because Bobb’e was on there. Kita’s over acting at the end made me itch… the fact that this show in NO WAY connects to the last show drives me up the wall. The fact that these are realistic yet over exaggerated plots are enough to make me hope in my SUV, take a 15 minute drive, hit Brantwood Drive and blow up BET studios ( JUST JOKES PEOPLE). I am TRYING to make something good of this. I swear I am…. I am begging for the writers to make this feel like a joyous occasion and less of a punishment. Okay… Mo’Nique is on…. I will continue to complain. MY STANDARDS ARE HIGH!!! If you can impress me then you will be a hit. And I know you are thinking, “Who the fuck are you.” And my answer is….. I was thinking the same damn thing about you, except you SHOULD know me! I’m 2Deep, Trick…Google me. Like Komplex says, “I’m Googleable”. And I’m outtie 5000!

Next Week’s Episode: Shit…. I just saw it and forgot it that damn quick…lol. Oh Well, watch it next week.

Sincerely,

~*MyMother’s Daughter*~