~*2Deep*~

Posts Tagged ‘poetess’

Poetry History Month 2013- Day 1 ‘Dear Sakura’

In Writer's Block on 1 April 2013 at 10:05 am

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Day 1: Dear Sakura

Dear Sakura

By 2Deep 

Dear Sakura

You are our Spring’s Ohaiyou Gozaimasu

Peaking around monuments

Greeting the sun

As it climbs from behind the handshake of a District and a Commonwealth

Dipped in a tidal basin

Like a letter in a bottle

Washed upon land

You are a time capsule

A reoccurring memory

A welcoming reminder of a friendship

That deemed us worthy of such beauty Read the rest of this entry »

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Muslim Angel: A Poem

In So-Shall Experience, Writer's Block on 5 May 2011 at 12:03 pm

       

        So, today is May 5th. When I woke up this morning I had nothing more than thoughts of foolish acts and enough liqour to make me forget about what I did.  But as my luck would have it…. it didnt turn out that way.

        I was minding my own business on the Washington, D.C. subway/metro system when something outrageous occurred. I witness Americans discriminating against a Muslim woman who was merely seeking help to get to another metro station.  She was no taller than about 5’5, 5’6 at the most, and between the ages of 48 to 54. She posted no threats whatsoever. When I tell you that I was soooo disgusted that I had to step in and do my part….. you cant even imagine what was going on in my soul.  As a black woman it clicked, as an American I was ashamed, and as a human I felt compelled to do whatever I could. All of this just 2 days after the news broke that Osama bin Laden was killed.

        I went to twitter and I posted the following status: “Dear Muslim woman dressed in full attire, I saw the looks we got on the metro as I helped you find Van Doren. I now understand.” Immediately upon writing that I wrote, “Pardon me….. I am inspired to write a poem.” And I did.

        Work was not a concern of me at the moment. I took to my computer and wrote the following poem:

Muslim Angel

By: 2Deep the Poetess (www.2deepuncensored.wordpress.com)

May 5, 2011

 

Rush Hour

Dim light

The sound of the hustle and bustle of destined feet rush by

Head bobbing to the rhythm of modern complacency

Conformed to public transportation etiquette

Confined

Blending

Silenced

Until

Muslim angel,

Because such a thing exists,

Dressed in full, all white garb

Hijab edges outlined in sea-foam blue,

Magnifying her faith 10 times over,

Wonders towards me in a 5th attempt to gain assistance

Previous attempts brushed off by head turns

Flaps of Express newspapers in response to her

Popping like bullets of insults

As headlines of Osama’s demise dangle in her face

As if to say, “Look at what we can do to your kind, here inAmerica”

I saw this

In that moment, I was not proud to be an American

If this was, in fact, the way an American should act

I knew it was not her Farsi trained tongue exercising broken English

That made them ignore her requests

I understood her just fine

Help me”, sprang from her lips

And translated to comprehension via my eyes

Before I even removed my headphones

I asked if she could repeat herself

Good Morning”, she said

Help me, please.

Van Doren.”

Without second thought I took the metro map out of her hand

Took her hand in my other and said, “Follow me.

I will take you.”

A gasp schoolyard bullied its way out of the throat of the Caucasian woman standing next to me

Eavesdropping getting the best of her

My original mission of getting to work on time escaping me

This was bigger than me

Something greater inside of me whispered

Do not let go of her hand.”

And I obeyed

Seemingly safe within the metal cage

Transporting civilians into the breast of the Confederacy

Older Black woman sang disgust

Like a house nigger gawking

As if I was a field nigger threatening to bring mud into the big house

Exercising her Jim Crow

Removing herself from the front of the car, next to us, to sit elsewhere

Muslim Angel and I stuck out like sore thumbs

Comparison to Freedom Bus rides

We sat front seat at society’s counter

Demanding we be served respect

Express newspaper under my thigh

Feeling guilty for seeking out current events

For today I now knew

I was not proud to be an American

She was I and I was she

And here we sat

Traveling to a place where only one of us knew how to get to

Me to Van Doren

She to a place where she could brave the prejudice and still keep her chin high while seeking help

She needing to know what I knew and vice versa

Yet we sat in silence

Communicating through squeezed palms

Praying to one another for remaining true to who they were

And though she spoke Farsi and I English

We both managed, somehow, to speak human

And we continued to hold on to one another

Next stop Van Doren”, rang over the intercom

Promised land for her and I

As I walked her out to the platform of her destination

Allah shook God’s hand

Hugged

And said many thanks

All the while I noticed we never said bye

Never shared names

Yet knowing we were sisters just the same

Understanding our coexistence in the midst of those who merely exist

I hope that you enjoyed the poem. I want to hear your thoughts on it. Your thoughts on the situation and anything else that you have to say. I pray that there are other people out there who think like I do and would have done the same thing.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together Til Finale Do Us Part

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 14 April 2011 at 12:08 am

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

Episode 11: In Hell

Episode 12: Forget We Exist

         Okay, so by now you should know that I absolutely did not care enough about this damn show to watch or even review last week’s episode. UNTIL…. I sat down tonight and saw a season finale commercial. I felt bad. I felt guilted into writing this review because I felt like I didnt suffer through this show til the very end. So…… I am writing this portion on Sunday and the new episode comes on this Tuesday and I shall review.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2 END!!!!!

        Yep…. three days after the finale finally aired… I figured I would blog to its completion. Now…. why do they have one more episode than The Game? I soooooooo would rather be preparing my tax spreadsheet for my accountant rather than watching this, but I am not a quitter.

         Ummm.. what is up with Tasha’s bushy hair? Wait… is that the second Aunt Vivian from Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Wow… did her hair grey that fast? Wooooooooow! The original Aunt Viv still looks beautiful. Wait, not saying that her replacement isnt beautiful… okay..hell I said it. You know what I meant. Moving on.

         I now feel some kind of way watching Jackée Harry now that I know she was once married to Charles Elgin…or is it Elgin Charles? I’m sooooo not excited about this episode and you cant make me *crosses arms and pouts*.

        And did Kita just call her Mrs. Judge? Okay, so her name is Jaunita Lawrence. So I guess they had to get a light skinned mother to make up for Tasha’s skin tone…lol.

        But, to be honest, Charles and Stacy’s first meeting was the BEST acting that I have seen between the two of them the entire season! Waiiiiiit! This pinstripped dres that she has on was the coolest that we have seen Stacy the whole season? Sooooo where has this cool version of Stacy gone? Okay, soooo Joyful Drake, honey….we now know that your hair looks like a 70’s blowout because you needed it to look a certain way for the old flashback buuuuut they didnt have time to straighten it for the current time? And in these flashbacks… whywas Stacy’s hair the same in EVERY scene?

        I cannot wrap my mind around Charles’ acting. Like he broadcasts what he is thinking or about to say/do…instead of playing the opposite.

        And… what was the point of putting Troy (Tasha’s ex) there if it doesnt have ANYTHING to do with this plot. I mean I see how they used Charles to get him there, but I dont see the point of him there.

        Now Stacy’s dressis ….hold the TOMMY FUCK UP!!!! I’m waiting for Tommy ( as the pastor) to say ” You may kiss your bride, DAWG” lmao!!!

        Ummmmmmmmmm….. Is Charlse singing? And is it me, or did you not notice his lisp until he started singing this song? I mean this is second runner-up to Chris Brown’s “Atten-ten”. lol. I mean, Charlse has a nice voice… but this is when they should have had someone else sing this song FOR him. I am sitting here and all I can think of is how tall must Stacy be, or what is she standing on to be only inches below Tommy?

        Waiiiiit I spoke too soon. I think that Troy is going to be more into this plotline than I first expected. I hope so, at least.  And wow… Charles locked himself in a closet somewhere. I mean, the way that he ran out was STUPID and unbelievable. He easily could have said….I left what I wanted to say in the car. But noooooo. For dramatic effect you sat here and ran out all dramatic. SMH…. You cant make me believe that. I know you tried, but it was a horrible Douche with battery acid kind of fail!

Okay…. *sigh* it even ended like ass…..smdh

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Forget We Exist

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 14 April 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

Episode 11: In Hell

        Okay… so this past Tuesday….. I thought that BOTH The Game and Let’s Stay Together were having their season finales. And since I was sooooo swamped with having my diva Eboni Hogam visiting from out of town as my feature for my poetry shows, I only made it my business to review The Game’s  finale. I just didn’t care enough to stay up an extra 30 minutes to write about Let’s Stay Together and then another 30 minutes to edit and post. I figured that no one would care whether or not I wrote the blog or not. Now, today is officially SUNDAY….and I am sitting here watch The Family Crews and a commercial pops up with the Let’s Stay Together cast walking down the aisle… WTF?!!!!

     Okay… so I was guilted into writing this blog. Which means that after I write my blog on The Borgias I have to watch my DVR of Let’s Stay Together.Where they do that at?!!! I feel like I am being punished. I thought that it was over and I wouldnt have to write about it any more. But noooooooooo! It’s like the show that doesnt end. It’s like a yeast infection after Monistat 3 has been banned!! Its like the limp dick brother who keeps promising that he will put it on you!!! WHY!!!!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, ,2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

It is Wednesday, April 6th, and I am just now MAKING myself watch this episode before I begin watching The Real McCoy. Sad, yet so true.

OH MY LORD!!!! I waited two fucking weeks and they FINALLY did not start in the bedroom!!!!! *pauses to go run in my back yard in just my undies* True shit. My backyard is dark as hell when you turn the light off…lol. This reminds me that I need a privacy fence. I am sooooo excited about this. Why didnt anyone call me?!!! Ashley? Jessyca?!!!! I feel betrayed that you all would forget that I was waiting all my life for this moment!!! Shame!!! See how black people do you. lls.

*Damn this steak and asparagus salad is delicious* SHit…. forgot I could fast forward through commercials….lol. *fast forward*

Damn… who is this actor who is playing Ellis Johnson? Ummm… tip of my tongue like a kinky night at a strippers club. Chris spencer?! yeh… that’s who that is. He is so funny.  But right now his jokes are corny. See, bad acting can make a great actor/comedian not funny.

Umm… Charles with his legs up in the air….didnt I mention the tip of my tongue? And his happy face is like.. no! OH!!!! COUNTESS VAUGHN!!! Lmao! She said “I feel it all up in my chest parts”!!!! LLS! I can’t stop laughing…hahahahahaha.I love her!!! I am so glad to see her back on the screen! Okay… Casting Director, you did well….this time.

I spoke too damn soon. Countess is carrying this scene by her damn self. Sad when a guest actor can make you laugh harder than the regulars.  Like, why is Ellis snorting? Was I the only one who heard this? And why must everyone check their phone with extended arms? Are they blind?

And wow…. we saw this setup a mile away. Of course they were going to bring dates to the comedy show. SMDH!!! Can you writers stop fucking broadcasting?!!!!!!!!!!!! You had 12 episodes to figure this shit out. smdh.I have had enough of bad writing, here and in bad life… please don’t make me shoot you with a thesaurus!

SMH. Kita calling Chanteuse out is horrible.  I am still over this whole situation. Wait…. Charmaine popping out the bathroom stall is weird and random. When was she suppose to know them? We’ve never seen her before today. Yep, Kim Whitley & Countess Vaughn are carrying this show.

Waiiiiiiiiiiiit! Okay, so this whole bathroom love confession …. Derwin has been there and done that. And it doesnt even seem believable. There are too many interruptions while they are trying to get a laugh. And I know DAMN WELL that she did NOT kneel and ask him to marry her. SMDH!!! If I see AIN’ bitch try that shit I swear I am quitting on love all together. And why did they walk all the way across the restaurant to exit when he came in from the same door the bathroom was on? So wouldnt his car be on the same side and Stacy would have caught a ride from Ellis? See…. I pay too close attention to detail to have them try to pull an okie doke on me. Still rushed and contrived. *sigh* But al least they didn’t start in the fucking bedroom.

Okay…. I MIGHT watch the next episode after this.. but I can’t stomach too much of this whack ass show!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together in Hell

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 24 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

Episode 10: Not Give A Damn

        Soooooo 11 episodes later and they STILL are starting in the bedroom. Yep… my girl Ashley called me from Alabama to point this out to me. Sad how everyone knows that I called this shit. My mentee @abmoore20 was dying laughing when the text came in and this was his first time watching the show…shame. Wow.. so Kita’s has a studio apartment? Okay, so this is the first time that we have seen their father. Unfortunately, every time i see Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, all I see is Joe Jackson from Jackson 5: An American Dream. And wow… why is he doing this bogus ass dance… I cant watch. This scene is boring me to stupidity.

        I am so confused by the shot that just occured. I thought that Jamaal and Tasha had a house… but they flashed the outside of a hotel/condo building. They havent done that the entire season so I have no clue what their house looks like outside. So why are they doing it now? I am soooo confused. Just show the invisible babies so that i can be familiar with something. *sigh*

Okay, and now they chose to show the outside of the medical center as well…..

       Wait… is this fine father the guy from Medea’s Family reunion? Yep, Henry Simmons…..Yummy… I mean…. did he just take his outter shirt off……wowzers. It should be a crime to look that damn good while fully dressed. he is right up there next to Sheriff Troy ( Lamon Rucker). But why is this dumb bitch putting the stethoscope on the father? I dont get it. Wow… okay, how did the son see the gum under the desk while on the examine table in a whole other room? Okay, so I just found out that her name Stacy Lawrence. Yes, here comes the invisible twins!!!!

        I love that @abmoore20 is sitting here next to me suffering. I cant take this alone. Wow… why did they pick this actor to play the father? He is over acting as well. I cant take it!!! Yeh… @abmoore just said ” Well, I guess that everyone cant do everything perfectly.” Funny how he said that right after I just told him that Queen Latifah is the Executive Producer for this show.  I tried yall… Would you all hate me if I didnt write about the finale? This show was over on the first episode. We are 11 shows in and I still know nothing about these boring ass people. Do they not have friends? I havent seen any constant friendships since Stacy’s friends from college left.

        HOLD UP!!! Did Vannessa Bell Calloway just put down the imaginary D.C. chapter of whatever the hell organization they are in? *pops knuckles* Say it again ! Whoodie Who!!!! Is ass a prerequisite to be in this elite club? Were there any plus sized women in this organization?

And of course they showed the funniest parts in the commercial. Okay, and now this guy who is on a date with Stacy [ Henry Simmons] is actually pissing me off. I dont find it comical. I think that it is horrible.

And I called it… ask @abmoore10… Vannessa’s character was fronting. This show is so fucking predicatable. Sad, yet tru.

I dont give a damn about next week’s episode. Watch it your damn self! *ugh* Bored…..still…

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~

200 Men Said…Cater to Me

In 200 Men Said.... on 21 March 2011 at 12:59 am

So, after doing my 200 Men Said….Let a Man be a Man [<~Click Here] blog, I realized that there is so much emphasis in men wanting to DO things to and for women. It is as if it is in their genetic coding to be a doer. But also, it is in my genetic coding as a woman to take care of and for my man. I am very old fashion in this thinking. I can’t wait until I am married ( IN NO RUSH) so that I can be a power woman at the office during the day [Read 200 Men Said….Independent Woman] and then head home to cook dinner, run my man’s bath water and meet him at the door to take his coat and shoes. Yes, I , 2Deep, have been brainwashed as a 50’s housewife…. but that is something that I really want to do when I get married. Notice I said married… er’ybody doesnt deserve, nor should they get, this treatment. You need to reserve some things for your marriage. Now… back to the 50’s.

        I honestly believe that with all of the things that men are so head-strong in doing for us women, there should be a moment of reciprocation as a sign of appreciation. Yes, they have conditioned “some” of us to the point of being spoiled and always expecting things, but at the same time, it wont kill us to show some appreciation back. It goes along with the theory that even the strongest structures in the world need to be maintained in order to maintain their strength and appeal. The Golden Gate Bridge, Statue of Liberty, and Eiffel Tower do not remain the iconic structures that they are without people caring for them after they stand tall and beautiful for the world to see. Our men, much like these structures, seldom….if ever, drop the macho man facade that they put on for the rest of the world. So, it then becomes our job to help them maintain, unwind, and remain the strong structures that they are.

        How do we do that, you ask? Simply…. cater to your man! Yes, remember when Beyonce use to scream that before Jay put a ring on it? Yes, cater. He should be opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking on the curb side of the sidewalk, and protecting you….so what would it hurt if you reached over and unlocked his door from the inside of the car, said thank you, or held his arm to let him know that you feel safe? Would it kill you to cook for him and not want anything in return? Would it interfere with your spirit to wash a load of clothes between What Chili Needs is Therapy and Real Housewives of South East Compton? Or would you convert to satanism if you chose to sit and watch a show that HE wants to watch as you rubbed your fingers across his hair while he laid his head in your lap? Sorry fellas…I had to tell everyone that you do lay your head in our laps outside of sex…lol. These things will not only help you get a man but they will definitely set you on the path of keeping one.

       So I wondered…..were my 200 Men in agreement with me and my catering to “him” ideals? Was I making this up just because I wanted to take care of someone or was there proof that guys like to be catered to just as much as women do. So I asked:

It is my belief that men like to be catered and pampered from time to time, too. Is this true? And what do you consider your favorite activity to get pampered with/by? i.e Dinner, massage, etc. 

And the answers came pouring in!!!!!

  • DSMILEY1: yes & i would love a full body massage
  • Chub L: I love that long, sensual, hot oil massage. The kind so deep and passionate that it makes me feel like I could just collapse at any given moment. The type of massage that says I’m wanted with every touch.
  • CHRIST- O: I DO, BUT DONT CALL IT PAMPERING. DINNER, MASSAGE, BATH WATER RAN, ROLL ME SOMETHING TO SMOKE N LET ME WATCH TV, ILL BUST MY ASS FOR YOU THEN. [2Deep: LMAO!!! That is the best and most honest answer that you can get ladies….lol. So even if your man isnt a smoker, I have a feeling that the same rules apply]
  • Kycajrome L: Pampered…..No lol! not really a manly word….I’m just saying I’ve never heard another brother say ” I wish my lady would pamper me more ” LOL….NEVER ,and most won’t say….no not dinner again tonite…i want a massage instead…really!!!
  • ICE: I wanna cater to u
  •  DEVON B: personally , I would like to be pampered, by a little wine and dine, maybe a massage for at least 20 to 20 plus min.then i would like…. well im different .i like different things…but whatever i like thats what i would want to be pampered with and some extra[ <~2Deep: Ha! He used Pampered!}
  • BIG SEKZI: dinner and massage
  • Code Name Bigsexy: lol me being pampered is me pampering her.i love affection.dinner always makes me feel good {2Deep: HA!!! HE USED PAMPERED TOO!!! Okay, maybe my caucasian brothers are moer apt to using the word pampered than my black brothers…lol]
  • Danny P: sure, well as for me, i like to be pampered as well. i think it’s a constant exchange when two people love one another. i like whatever comes from the heart. [2Deep: I proved my point…]
  • Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: the way 4 me to be catered is 2 let me cater 2 her with that same thing… thats enuff 4 me
  • DJ Urban Cowboy: A nice deep massage after a long day or a good workout at the gym will do worlds in my relationships
  • DARIUS J: YES I DO I LIKE LONG BACK MASSAGES AND THEN SUM…….
  • rroyallty: Yes. Dinner, massage, a lil ego boost and peace of mind without alot of mouth during that time frame would be nice. Some pleasure would be nice also.
  •  Jerome P: yes, i think we like special treatment from time to time. my favorite activity is having my favorite meal prepared for me.
  •  …….: I just prefer some sex and i’m ok
  • on the rocks…: Dont nag me…just come sit with me, kick your feet up, and show me you know how to chill without feeling like you’re wasting precious moments in life by not shopping, running errands, or etc…you can even have the remote, just dont cut on any reality tv.
  • Vince V: Well your belief is most accurate. I personally enjoy getting the whole spa type treatment from my woman, followed by a great home cooked dinner and a movie cuddled up together, then followed by her treating me to a sensual strip tease and a soft sexual seduction.

 

And my favorite comment came from :

  • Prestige “The One And Only”: Of course….we are arguably bigger On pampering than women. Personally i prefer for a woman to rub her hands in my hair [2Deep:  Damn… him just admitting that is sexy as hell. *sigh* Okay…let me get back to writing this blog]

 

       Okay, so I learned not to use the word PAMPER when refering to a man….lol. But I was right on point when it came to them liking when their woman catered to them. The majority of them seem to like massages, outside of the obvious sex. And as you can see… each man is very different in what it is that he likes and/or considered as catering to activities. No one makes me laugh harder than Christ-O’s answer, but if that is what he likes, then as his woman I suggest that you learn how to roll something for him to smoke….lol.

       But like Prestige said, men are arguably bigger on pampering than women. But fellas, with all of the tough exterior and concern about what is a manly word and what will your boys think…..you guys send off the WRONG signs. If it werent engrained in me to be this way, I dont know if my guy would ever be pampered. Women are soft and we like clean nails, softER hands and softER feet rubbing up against us. It doesnt make you less of a man but it lets you get closer to your woman. So relax…..we’ve got you….IF YOU LET US. And majority of us want to. I’ll never forget the time I bought my guy a huge sunflower, which is actually the most masculine flower, and he took care of that damn thing and wouldnt let it die. When I asked him why he cared for it so much he said, “Because no one has ever done anything like that for me before and I wanted to take care of it to show you how much I appreciated you. Plus, a man’s not use to getting flowers.” lmao! Another time I taped a card to the ceiling above the bed for my man to see when he woke up while I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast with ALL of his favorite things. Still to this day he keeps bringing it up as one of the most thoughtful things that any female has ever done for him…and we dont even date any more…lol. *pats myself on the back*.

       I have to insert a line or two here on behalf of the INDEPENDENT WOMEN who think like I do. Fellas, I never say it out loud, but I am an independent woman, and how I behave in the streets is not how I am at home. For the world I will not take bull, but I am more than willing to come home and cater to you if the sentiments are mutual. THIS is what a real independent woman is all about. Don’t be afraid to approach us, and don’t let those wanna-be independent women scare you off from the real powerhouses that we are. Trust me, you haven’t had a woman until you’ve had one that can negotiate the closing costs on a house being built and then come home and take care of you in the house. *Wink* And in some points of views….catering to is a form of subtle submission…think about it.  So, let your women cater to you…and if she doesn’t…. tell her I SAID BOUNCE!!! And replace her with a real woman.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Not Give a Damn

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 17 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

Episode 9: And Commit Suicide

        UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I said that I wouldn’t write for this boring ass show any more… but it was on… and I started this process, so, I need to finish it. No matter how much of a punishment this is I need to talk shit about the ENTIRE season. For example…..I mean damn… they started in the boring ass bedroom again.  SMH. Even my homegirl Ashley texted me all the way from Alabama to point this obvious fact out to me…lol. I told yall I was in NO danger of running in my backyard naked because they would do this the ENTIRE season. I can hear my home girl, Cristina, now….lmbo! No….even better… I can hear Wedlocks screaming from her couch!!!

         I blanked out and wasn’t paying attention to the rules that Charles and Stacy were coming up with in order to be friends while they are apart.

        And watching Jamaal and Tasha come up with which object to bring to life in a children’s book is really killing me. Maybe…..and this is JUST A SUGGESTION…..maybe they could make the CHILDREN APPEAR!!! That would be the best book ever!

        Is that Nephew Tommy? LMAO!!! They are trying to get every comedic cameo in this first season, but it still isn’t making this show funny.  Okay…. I take that back… LMAO!!! Did Kita just say they came up with the song called “Save a Thong, Wear a Thug” and “What You Mixed Wit” lmao!!!!! Straight foolishness.

         I think that the commercials gave away the point of this show. Like we already knew that they were going to sleep together, so there was no suspense.  You’re not suppose to give away the meat of the plot in the previews. *sigh* I could write a better show. I swear I could.

         Watching Tasha pretend not to know how to type is painful. And in her words “ THIS SHOW DON’T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!” Yes, I’m aware of the grammatical structure…but she said it, not me.

         I don’t even know how this episode ended…. Was too busy editing my The Game  blog so I have no clue, nor so I care. So sad. And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Commit Suicide

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 10 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

        I refuse to comment on the fact that they started AGAIN….in the bedroom! I mean, who has a Wii in their damn bedroom unless they live in a studio apartment? *Yawn* Can someone, ANYONE please tell me the significance of this fucking bedroom. I don’t get it. Is it a gimmick gone horribly wrong? WHAT?! And Why, Why, Why, Why, Why , Why, WHY must we start and finish EVERY episode with Stacey and Charles? The redundancy is making this show horrible for me. You watch shows that are meant to surprise you, keep you mystified until the very last minute. There is not enough substance here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, yet alone to keep me mystified. Mystery babies, horrible accents, laugh tracks, repetition, and lack of substance merely suggest that I lower my IQ in order to love this show….and I refuse.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,  *Yawn*

        I am not drunk enough to watch this show. ooooooooooooooh *runs to fridge and pulls out Moscato* Wait…. *takes shot of Vodka first* Okay…. now I can watch the show.

        Sidebar: For those of you who don’t know me… ask the people who do….. I KEEPS liquor in my house. And YES, I really did just stock up on the Goose in order to watch this show.

        And this half-naked pic of Charles….ummm… *tilts head* I am trying to say in the nicest way possible….but KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, PLAYA! (Recap:  Do you know that this pic never came back up in the rest of the show. So he showed a pic of a calendar he was in for a fundraising auction, but it wasnt a part of the plot of this episode. THEN WHY HAVE THE FUCKING PIC AND SUBTEXT IF IT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE OVER ALL PLOT OF THIS EPISODE?!!! Must I teach you people everything?!)

        WTF happened to Jackee’s neck? I am bored watching it. What are all of these gifts for?Did I mention *yawn* that I am getting bored watching this? I want you to be just as bored reading this as much as i am ….OH! Bourbon!!! He used bourbon in his sauce. I don’t drink dark liquor…but whatever will get me through the next 15 minutes of this bullshit will surely suffice…. *yawn* Shit…what was I saying.

        Maybe it is the shot… but havent we seen Tasha with this look before. The white tee and skirt look? And it kills me how we will never see minimum wage people with the same outfit on. I want a show to challenge us and pop up with a repeat wardrobe. I know it has only been 9 dreadful, completely dreadful, episodes….but I need a repeat wardrobe. Hell, they already repeat the opening and closing of the show why not repeat a dress. And maybe this episode was EXTRA boring because it only took place in their house. *yawn*…and *yawn*…. oh hell, never mind..*yawn*

        Okay. I quit. I can’t watch any more of this today *yawn* I keep yawning every time I come to write. Shit, if you didn’t watch it…. you didn’t miss anything.

        In recap:  Tasha & Stacey’s father gave Charles and Jamaal some manly advice about getting married, while Charles and Kita’s mother is in the other room giving Kita, Tasha & Stacey some advice about not getting married.The same old thing you hear bitter old people say. So, you see… it was a recap of a black family reunion. Okay… I’m sure more happened… I, literally, was too damn bored and didn’t give a fuck enough to watch it. And Scene.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Charles’ moving out really mean that next episode wont start in the fucking bedroom? THERE IS A GOD!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Let’s Stay Together and Die from Predictability

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 3 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

        Okay… this is how coming down off a crack or weed induced high must feel. I was just so excited about watching that episode of The Game and knowing that my homegirl Cristinia is gonna have a field day with her commentary and then I remembered that I had to watch this boring ass show.

Take Boredom in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

        Okay, is this like Episode 8 and they are still starting the show off in the bedroom. I can’t remember but wasnt last episode the one where she was too afraid to get married? And yet they are all in love as if the last episode didn’t even occur? SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

        Okay, am I the only one who realized that they roll the kids into the room and they always face a wall? I’m calling CPS on them. The kids never move, they never cry, people can have full adult conversation without ever taking the children out of the stroller. Shame. If you weren’t planning on showing the children… don’t write twins into the show!!!

        Yes, I realize I start everything off with “Okay”. But hell… if they can start every damn episode off in the bedroom, I can start off every paragraph with okay.

       SO KITA IS GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THIS ENTIRE EPISODE?!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! Can the rest of the cast sign on to her vow of silence.

        Ummm.. how did the Stacey see Tasha and Jamaal coming into the restaurant without even turning around. And are the kids named Emma & JJ? How is one named to go to Harvard and the other named to go to Howard? And why was she taking the sheets off the bed? I’m confused-ed!!!!! And why are they dressed so well to PAINT!!! Can we get any worse with the believability of this show?

        Speaking of painting… are the invisible twins with the invisible grandparents? I am so tired of waiting to see kids that don’t exist that it is giving me a migraine. I want them to surprise me. I can’t do it…..shoot me now! If I stop blogging about this…would you guys even mind? Hell.. I say invisible, because Jamaal just asked Charles if he has met his FIANCEE’s mother! Sooooo the only family member that he has met of Stacey’s is her sister Tasha? Where do her parents live? I’m confused. He can meet her friends from college, but not her parents? *side eye* Someone didn’t think this plot out.

        I feel like getting my fallopian tubes removed under local anesthesia than watch this shot. I would rather get my groove on with a 72-year-old man with erectile dysfunction even after using Viagra than watch this show. I would rather witness this imaginary baby pee all over Stacey….while she wears a shirt that she has yet to take off. Did she at least wash the pee off? Yep… I would rather get a Brazilian with old wax from a blind German woman than watch this show. I am almost positive that I would rather get gang raped by midgets with Prince Alberts than be forced to watch this next week.  No… I’ll go as far as to say I would rather exhume my mother and slap her than to….okay I think you get it. Is it over? Please let this commercial come back with credits. SHIT!

       Ummmm.. fuck a vow of silence. If a man came at me like that I would have to talk and then start the vow over after the fact. lmao!

       Grade: Oh hell… I still hate it. I ran out of clever flunking grades. I still don’t get this damn show. At least tonight they tied in the fact that they don’t know when the wedding is going to be. The DL relationship jokes between Jamaal and …damn what is the fiance’s name…it would have been funny but for some reason it didn’t stick. Can I be the first to start praying that they give The Game this time slot next season? And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Ummmm….

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 24 February 2011 at 12:02 am

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Yeh, so if you are smart, you know that I write my The Game and Let’s Stay Together reviews on the same night, so I don’t have any preview banter because I was sick majority of the weekend and took today off from work to rest so I woke up right before choir rehearsal and I didn’t have time to write my witty banter. So…..that long run on sentence to say. Click the links above if you want to catch up on the previous episodes.

Take 2, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, ……Ummmm…

Okay…. so I am still watching. Shoot me now!!! I should have started typing a few minutes ago, but I didn’t feel like it. Nor did I have any motivation, to be honest about it. ummmm…..

Fellas, don’t listen to either of these guys. You’ll get your ass whooped!!! Ummm Why is Thelma the wedding planner? Have we ever seen her with a man in real life or on TV for that matter? And that purse looks like they dipped Big Bird in Barney’s bath tub and dropped it off in an Alabama Swap Meet. Did they just say it was ostrich? Ummmm…. Ummmm… Ummmm.. (speechless)

Ummmm… why do they have Thelma in subtle AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha) colors? I know 5 AKAs off the top of my head that would scream that is the wrong shade of pink. And…. why are we watching this episode anyway? Is she having cold feet and why? Don’t yall wake up in the bedroom EVERY SINGLE EPISODE? Isnt this show damn near wrapped around you and your drama? Havent we watched the past 6 BORING ass episodes based around yall?

WHERE ARE THE DAMN TWINS?!!!!! I am trying to help yall create the black Olsen Twins!!! Come on… pick Khalil & Kandice so we can get the party started!!! Okay, we just found out that their name is Woodsons. And I am finding out that Tasha isnt that smart…. really no one in this show has a full fucking basket.

Sidebar: Who is downloading episodes of this damn show on iTunes? Can i track them down by their IP addresses and tell them to stop being so fucking cruel and encouraging this damn show?

i need a drink……*take a shot*(seriously)

Oh… surprise….. they ended in the bedroom and next episode doesn’t have a DAMN thing to do with this episode. I swear you all owe me for watching this shit!

Grade: ZZZZZZZZ- ifinity

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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