200 Men Said…Cater to Me

So, after doing my 200 Men Said….Let a Man be a Man [<~Click Here] blog, I realized that there is so much emphasis in men wanting to DO things to and for women. It is as if it is in their genetic coding to be a doer. But also, it is in my genetic coding as a woman to take care of and for my man. I am very old fashion in this thinking. I can’t wait until I am married ( IN NO RUSH) so that I can be a power woman at the office during the day [Read 200 Men Said….Independent Woman] and then head home to cook dinner, run my man’s bath water and meet him at the door to take his coat and shoes. Yes, I , 2Deep, have been brainwashed as a 50’s housewife…. but that is something that I really want to do when I get married. Notice I said married… er’ybody doesnt deserve, nor should they get, this treatment. You need to reserve some things for your marriage. Now… back to the 50’s.

        I honestly believe that with all of the things that men are so head-strong in doing for us women, there should be a moment of reciprocation as a sign of appreciation. Yes, they have conditioned “some” of us to the point of being spoiled and always expecting things, but at the same time, it wont kill us to show some appreciation back. It goes along with the theory that even the strongest structures in the world need to be maintained in order to maintain their strength and appeal. The Golden Gate Bridge, Statue of Liberty, and Eiffel Tower do not remain the iconic structures that they are without people caring for them after they stand tall and beautiful for the world to see. Our men, much like these structures, seldom….if ever, drop the macho man facade that they put on for the rest of the world. So, it then becomes our job to help them maintain, unwind, and remain the strong structures that they are.

        How do we do that, you ask? Simply…. cater to your man! Yes, remember when Beyonce use to scream that before Jay put a ring on it? Yes, cater. He should be opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking on the curb side of the sidewalk, and protecting you….so what would it hurt if you reached over and unlocked his door from the inside of the car, said thank you, or held his arm to let him know that you feel safe? Would it kill you to cook for him and not want anything in return? Would it interfere with your spirit to wash a load of clothes between What Chili Needs is Therapy and Real Housewives of South East Compton? Or would you convert to satanism if you chose to sit and watch a show that HE wants to watch as you rubbed your fingers across his hair while he laid his head in your lap? Sorry fellas…I had to tell everyone that you do lay your head in our laps outside of sex…lol. These things will not only help you get a man but they will definitely set you on the path of keeping one.

       So I wondered…..were my 200 Men in agreement with me and my catering to “him” ideals? Was I making this up just because I wanted to take care of someone or was there proof that guys like to be catered to just as much as women do. So I asked:

It is my belief that men like to be catered and pampered from time to time, too. Is this true? And what do you consider your favorite activity to get pampered with/by? i.e Dinner, massage, etc. 

And the answers came pouring in!!!!!

• DSMILEY1: yes & i would love a full body massage
• Chub L: I love that long, sensual, hot oil massage. The kind so deep and passionate that it makes me feel like I could just collapse at any given moment. The type of massage that says I’m wanted with every touch.
• CHRIST- O: I DO, BUT DONT CALL IT PAMPERING. DINNER, MASSAGE, BATH WATER RAN, ROLL ME SOMETHING TO SMOKE N LET ME WATCH TV, ILL BUST MY ASS FOR YOU THEN. [2Deep: LMAO!!! That is the best and most honest answer that you can get ladies….lol. So even if your man isnt a smoker, I have a feeling that the same rules apply]
• Kycajrome L: Pampered…..No lol! not really a manly word….I’m just saying I’ve never heard another brother say ” I wish my lady would pamper me more ” LOL….NEVER ,and most won’t say….no not dinner again tonite…i want a massage instead…really!!!
• ICE: I wanna cater to u
•  DEVON B: personally , I would like to be pampered, by a little wine and dine, maybe a massage for at least 20 to 20 plus min.then i would like…. well im different .i like different things…but whatever i like thats what i would want to be pampered with and some extra[ <~2Deep: Ha! He used Pampered!}
• BIG SEKZI: dinner and massage
• Code Name Bigsexy: lol me being pampered is me pampering her.i love affection.dinner always makes me feel good {2Deep: HA!!! HE USED PAMPERED TOO!!! Okay, maybe my caucasian brothers are moer apt to using the word pampered than my black brothers…lol]
• Danny P: sure, well as for me, i like to be pampered as well. i think it’s a constant exchange when two people love one another. i like whatever comes from the heart. [2Deep: I proved my point…]
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: the way 4 me to be catered is 2 let me cater 2 her with that same thing… thats enuff 4 me
• DJ Urban Cowboy: A nice deep massage after a long day or a good workout at the gym will do worlds in my relationships
• DARIUS J: YES I DO I LIKE LONG BACK MASSAGES AND THEN SUM…….
• rroyallty: Yes. Dinner, massage, a lil ego boost and peace of mind without alot of mouth during that time frame would be nice. Some pleasure would be nice also.
•  Jerome P: yes, i think we like special treatment from time to time. my favorite activity is having my favorite meal prepared for me.
•  …….: I just prefer some sex and i’m ok
• on the rocks…: Dont nag me…just come sit with me, kick your feet up, and show me you know how to chill without feeling like you’re wasting precious moments in life by not shopping, running errands, or etc…you can even have the remote, just dont cut on any reality tv.
• Vince V: Well your belief is most accurate. I personally enjoy getting the whole spa type treatment from my woman, followed by a great home cooked dinner and a movie cuddled up together, then followed by her treating me to a sensual strip tease and a soft sexual seduction.

 

And my favorite comment came from :

• Prestige “The One And Only”: Of course….we are arguably bigger On pampering than women. Personally i prefer for a woman to rub her hands in my hair [2Deep:  Damn… him just admitting that is sexy as hell. *sigh* Okay…let me get back to writing this blog]

 

       Okay, so I learned not to use the word PAMPER when refering to a man….lol. But I was right on point when it came to them liking when their woman catered to them. The majority of them seem to like massages, outside of the obvious sex. And as you can see… each man is very different in what it is that he likes and/or considered as catering to activities. No one makes me laugh harder than Christ-O’s answer, but if that is what he likes, then as his woman I suggest that you learn how to roll something for him to smoke….lol.

       But like Prestige said, men are arguably bigger on pampering than women. But fellas, with all of the tough exterior and concern about what is a manly word and what will your boys think…..you guys send off the WRONG signs. If it werent engrained in me to be this way, I dont know if my guy would ever be pampered. Women are soft and we like clean nails, softER hands and softER feet rubbing up against us. It doesnt make you less of a man but it lets you get closer to your woman. So relax…..we’ve got you….IF YOU LET US. And majority of us want to. I’ll never forget the time I bought my guy a huge sunflower, which is actually the most masculine flower, and he took care of that damn thing and wouldnt let it die. When I asked him why he cared for it so much he said, “Because no one has ever done anything like that for me before and I wanted to take care of it to show you how much I appreciated you. Plus, a man’s not use to getting flowers.” lmao! Another time I taped a card to the ceiling above the bed for my man to see when he woke up while I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast with ALL of his favorite things. Still to this day he keeps bringing it up as one of the most thoughtful things that any female has ever done for him…and we dont even date any more…lol. *pats myself on the back*.

       I have to insert a line or two here on behalf of the INDEPENDENT WOMEN who think like I do. Fellas, I never say it out loud, but I am an independent woman, and how I behave in the streets is not how I am at home. For the world I will not take bull, but I am more than willing to come home and cater to you if the sentiments are mutual. THIS is what a real independent woman is all about. Don’t be afraid to approach us, and don’t let those wanna-be independent women scare you off from the real powerhouses that we are. Trust me, you haven’t had a woman until you’ve had one that can negotiate the closing costs on a house being built and then come home and take care of you in the house. *Wink* And in some points of views….catering to is a form of subtle submission…think about it.  So, let your women cater to you…and if she doesn’t…. tell her I SAID BOUNCE!!! And replace her with a real woman.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Lyrically Speaking….Urban Mystic: I Refuse

        I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard this song. I was on the phone with my high school sweetheart after about a year of me not speaking to him. He was back at his old tricks of trying to get me to fall for him all over again. He told me to check out this song, and I had never even heard of the artist, much less the song….but I said that I would. And I did. Loved it. Thought that I should burst out into singing “Killing Me Softly” because Urban Mystic was telling my whole life with his words.

        This song has that high school feel. That, “talking on the phone all night or at least holding the phone as you fall asleep” type feel. This song just oozes the rekindling of an old flame. This is NOT the song you need to play while you are engaged to your future wife ( just saying) lmao!. But it does have that “tug on the heartstrings of hopeless romantics who cant wait to be with their first loves just once more” type feel.

The intro is enough to make you call everyone in your black book and make individual appointments. lol

Intro:urban(woman)
yo baby (what?s up)
what we had was so special (yea I know)
what you doin now (left my man back at the 9 to 5 just trying to make things work)
Yeah, I never thought I?d see you again (and I never thought I?d see you again)
yeah, (what a coincidence)
well that?s how things happen (yea I know, I wanna have you just one more time)
But you know what (what’s that)
You know what?s odd (what is it)

        Her tone is just begging for him to come and get it. It’s almost as if she planned for them to meet again. Like she searched for him and put herself in a place to be strategically found by him. I’m not mad at her. I would do the same damn thing…lol I mean, how simple is the intro? But this is about as kinky as Teddy Pendergrass talking over a track. It says “Get those panties off… TAKE ‘EM OFF!” lmao.

Verse 1:
What are the odds of me bumping into you again (one in a million)
What are the odds of me seeing my first lover friend (two in a million)
It’s been two years since we both graduated, I still can feel how we both celebrated
I can’t get over your voice on my phone, we’ve been apart for so long.

 

        This takes me back to that time when you locked eyes with the person that you love after being apart for so long. Or even the thought of them that sends chills down your spine and ends at your happy place. I mean really… they had to have been something special that without even touching you or being in the same room with you they can make you smile and head towards a cold shower.  What are the odds of every person doing that to you? Zero in a million.

Chorus:
So I refuse to wait, my patience is out the door baby
I refuse to hear you say, u don’t want me no more baby
I refuse to blame, you for anything – me for any thing
lets not take finding each other in vain, its not a coincidence baby

 

        Obviously, all is forgiven or they are just that horny. lol. I mean he is not even wanting to hold a grudge. I mean she has GOT to have kryptonite in her panties to get a man to go out on a limb like this. I’m still having a hard time trying to figure out if this is love or lust, but in the moment of passion I don’t think that it really matters, now does it? lol

Verse 2:
Remember we use to sneak off when your mama dosed off
Hit the back seat of my Chevy fog up the windows
Made love to sweet lady our favorite song
kept it moving slow and steady to the tempo
Then we would lay there and hold on to each other like there wasn’t a tomorrow
I can’t get over your voice on the phone, we’ve been apart for so long

 

        LMAO!!! See parents….THIS is why you should equip your child with house arrest ankle bracelets! lol.  Teach your girls that leather burn is a hoe’s tattoo…lol. This verse in and of itself just keeps me cracking up! It is so romantic, and so serious, yet hilariously funny because someone , somewhere has done some…if not all..of this at one point in time in their life. And there he is remembering it all years later. See…if you got that Good Good ladies they will always remember. Better yet, he will admit to cuddling!!!!!!! Chorus repeats and then…..

Verse 3

You know, damn well, you’re suppose to be in my life
Riding by my side (Oh yeah yeah)
You know, damn well, you’re suppose to be coming home to me every night

Baby if you’re not that far away
Maybe we can spend the day
Catch up on all the loving we lost
Let me kiss you in your favorite place

        So….. if he doesn’t get what he wants he damn near gets beligerent..lol. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL, WOMAN! All he wants to do is kiss you in your favorite place.  Just KINKY!!! KINKY , I TELL YA! lol.  Yep.. been there. Had the kind of passion where you knew better than to be left alone in the same place with that other person because baby making would surely follow no matter the consequences…. *shakes head at the thought* Sorry, had a flash back…lmao!

        Well, every time I listen to this song I think of what I went through that made this song so relevant to me. I thank the person who decided to bring it to my attention and I will always hold a special place for this song in my heart. Tales like this really do happen in real life….and I am a witness to it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always turn out to be a love connection….but the memories are a nice reminder of what love can look like. It gives you hope of what is in the future. And if nothing else, it is just nice to know that you are wanted. I refuse to lose hope for love. I simply refuse to.

P.S. I also refuse not to die laughing at the fact that the model who Tyra Banks yelled at is in this video. lmao.

P.P.S. I refuse to fight the urge to call him K-C from Jodeci. lmao!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Deep Kamasutra: #2 Flirt Limits

Welcome back….. I see that you just cant get enough of us. Trust me, we cant either! lol

Our second question of the series comes from another Twitter follower who asks:

“Where do you draw the line with flirting?”

Ooooh, pick me! Pick me!!! I know the answer to this one!!!

BREAK!

        Okay, much like anything in life… there is not a steadfast rule for this one. I can’t tell if you are asking as a single person or as a person in a relationship….I cant even remember if you are male or female…so I will treat this question as if you are a shemale in an open relationship. Deal? Deal.

        No matter your gender, you first have to check in with your insecurities. If your insecurities are not in check, nothing that will follow will make any sense and will not prove productive. If you think you are ugly, then you are. If you think you are fat, then you are. Dont get mad at me.. you said it first….to yourself. Once you have all in order and your confidence is raised in market value… then you can begin to assess your true limitations. If you know that you are the shit then your man or woman can flirt for days and that nonsense wont even bother you.

        Ladies, it is not a sign of disrespect, most men play this childish ass game just to see how far they can push you, make you jealous, and come up out the pocket to fulfill their fantasy of girl-on-girl fighting action. Dont feed into it. Let his actions starve to death in diuretic challenge between Ashley Olsen and the old Courtney Love. Men love confidence, but they hate nothing more than to feel that a woman can do without them. I think they were created to battle for our attention. But I digress. Getting upset while he tries out his latest moves on some chickenhead will only show your hand and cause you to renig on the strong and independent woman that he fell for in the first place. Let him flirt, then you smile on the inside at the Joker, Joker and throw up the Duece, Duece at his sorry attempt to make you come up out the pocket. But all bets are off if he turns things sensual and/or sexual. BEAT A NEGRO’S ASS like he turned Republican and tried to bring Jeb Bush into the White House. So, for women in relationships.. you have to set the standards of what is allowed and not allowed in your relationship early on. Have a talk about it logically and NOT emotionally. Once the rules are in place that work for you both then and ONLY then do you have the right to be upset.  After that, DO YOU BOO, flirt until you pass out, in your own bed, alone, without the aid of date rape drugs. Flirting for us can be a game as well, guys don’t know that majority of the time we just want their attention for the moment. Draw the lines at anything sensual…because sensual to a guy equates to sexual. I have no clue why God missed that programming chip in their design, but it is what it is. If you don’t want him to touch you, kiss you, pull you close, or sleep with you… DUH! Dont do it to him. Done!   

        Fellas, when your girl starts to flirt…. that is a dead ass sign that someone, OKAY YOU!!!!, are not handling business at home. Women are loyal by nature (okay we do have a few model defects ie. Hoochies, hoes, hood rats, ya mama…etc) and it takes a lot for us to take our eyes of the one object of our affection. This is where you need not get mad, but reevaluate your home situation and actually listen to what it is that she is telling you she needs. But be aware that females have levels of flirting. Sometimes she just wants to feel pretty, wants to have a guy tell her that whoever has her is a lucky man….you know, the things you should be telling her. But once a woman flirts and comes home and doesn’t communicate with you, trust me, you need to call your mama and tell her to dust off your old bunk bed because you have already lost your placement in that relationship and in the happy home. And while you flirt, keep in mind that you shouldnt do anything that you wouldn’t want your woman to do. And since the male ego is often times more fragile than a woman’s….you’ll do far less than she would..lol.

        In conclusion, I say all flirting is healthy if you are not married. The world is full of people who will entice us, and yes, a little self-control is needed but flirting is healthy for self-image. So, set up the rules of safety if you are single, and set up rules of engagement if you are in a relationship and everyone should have nothing to fight about. And scene.

~2Deep

The woman has spoken. Man…..what sayest thou?

 

        I swear I have been wanting to answer a question like this for quite a bit of time. Had you asked me three years ago about flirting, I would have said, “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game, son.” People get older, people get wiser, and the ish just got real in here! It’s about to go down!

         It was all good just a week ago, when you met that girl and y’all kicked it and everything was wonderful. She was into you and you were into her, but where did everything go wrong, huh (Juvenile voice in his Cash Money days)! Flirting is only bad in two instances; the first one is when you are in a committed relationship and you going hard in the paint like your name is (Insert First Name) Flocka Flame. Why you flirting and you committed man? Same goes to her lil fine butt? The other instance is when one person has more feelings than the other. This problem is not even really a problem—you need to check yo self before you wreck yo self fool! She OR he can do whatever they please, you’re nobodies’ parents out this joint. I used to have problems with that flirting ish, me doing it and seeing my potential mate do it. But YO! I’m a man (Muddy Waters voice)! No reason to sit around with that jealousy trait, that’s female ish! Don’t sit around feeling bad for yourself, swipe that dirt off your shoulders.

        In all reality though, I am indifferent about this topic, the man in me says flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt. Its natural, keep your skills honed because women are finicky man! They tend to straddle the fence and you don’t even know they are doing so. Until they say those dreaded words, “We need to talk…” You’re prolly screaming inside, “Fuuuuuucccckkkkk.” So now your relationship is over, you’ve just been thrown to the wolves and yo ass forgot how to hunt! You’re going to go without eating for at least a few months, but that’s not even the end all be all. You’re not going to eat GOODT for at least another few months. But then, you got your SCHWAGGG back and now, you’re eating good! Enjoying the fruit of your labor! That makes me say flirt all you want, just make sure you, throw the numbers away, don’t be an infidel, and keep your woman’s sixth sense in mind.

        Now for what I do, I get hit on EVERYDAY but hunting for me is like riding a bike, I’m never going to forget. So, I shut chicken heads down! “Nawh, I’m dating someone, I’m good,” is my response—I don’t know if she does that, but I am only speaking for myself. I shut them down down down (Drake voice). If anybody is going to mess up, it’s going to be on my own merit and not because I was being an infidel! She’s not gonna hate on the kid because he was running around town with three or four women trying to be Bill Bellamy in “How to be a Player.” I devote all my attention to one woman, the woman I am talking to…does she deserve it? I think yes, but you have to know that feelings change and people do as well, they just forget to tell the person they are talking to. Keep your flirting limited and at all possible, don’t even do it at all. Why tempt yourself into getting that “strange?” Strange is defined as unknown pussy and/or but not limited to head from the female counterpart that you just met.

         This message was finance by Deep Kamasutra and I, Kamasutra endorse this message! If you have anymore questions (two barks) get at me dawg! (DMX voice)

~Kamasutra

VERDICT: IF YOU ARE SINGLE… FLIRT & MINGLE *bangs gavel*

Sincerely,

~Deep & Kamasutra~