The Game~ Game Over

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

Episode 11: Baby, Baby Please

 

        Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.

     I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*.  But…..on to the Finale.

        Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.

        Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!

       Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?!  But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.

        Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol

        WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.

        Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff.  Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back  next season and fix it.

        SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me.  WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.

        Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.

Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~Baby, Baby Please

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

        Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.

        Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.

       Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.

       Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.

         Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.

           Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.

       NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!

       Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*

       LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass!  I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.

       Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is  calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.

       NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch.  It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ The Redemption

 

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.

        Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.

So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea).  And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!

        AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao!  I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.

Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.

        And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick?  Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.

Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.

        DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed  Malik’s magic stick.

        Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.

        AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.

WTF?!!!A Commercial?

         Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!

         MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!

         So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.

         Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week.  And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together and Commit Suicide

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

        I refuse to comment on the fact that they started AGAIN….in the bedroom! I mean, who has a Wii in their damn bedroom unless they live in a studio apartment? *Yawn* Can someone, ANYONE please tell me the significance of this fucking bedroom. I don’t get it. Is it a gimmick gone horribly wrong? WHAT?! And Why, Why, Why, Why, Why , Why, WHY must we start and finish EVERY episode with Stacey and Charles? The redundancy is making this show horrible for me. You watch shows that are meant to surprise you, keep you mystified until the very last minute. There is not enough substance here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, yet alone to keep me mystified. Mystery babies, horrible accents, laugh tracks, repetition, and lack of substance merely suggest that I lower my IQ in order to love this show….and I refuse.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,  *Yawn*

        I am not drunk enough to watch this show. ooooooooooooooh *runs to fridge and pulls out Moscato* Wait…. *takes shot of Vodka first* Okay…. now I can watch the show.

        Sidebar: For those of you who don’t know me… ask the people who do….. I KEEPS liquor in my house. And YES, I really did just stock up on the Goose in order to watch this show.

        And this half-naked pic of Charles….ummm… *tilts head* I am trying to say in the nicest way possible….but KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, PLAYA! (Recap:  Do you know that this pic never came back up in the rest of the show. So he showed a pic of a calendar he was in for a fundraising auction, but it wasnt a part of the plot of this episode. THEN WHY HAVE THE FUCKING PIC AND SUBTEXT IF IT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE OVER ALL PLOT OF THIS EPISODE?!!! Must I teach you people everything?!)

        WTF happened to Jackee’s neck? I am bored watching it. What are all of these gifts for?Did I mention *yawn* that I am getting bored watching this? I want you to be just as bored reading this as much as i am ….OH! Bourbon!!! He used bourbon in his sauce. I don’t drink dark liquor…but whatever will get me through the next 15 minutes of this bullshit will surely suffice…. *yawn* Shit…what was I saying.

        Maybe it is the shot… but havent we seen Tasha with this look before. The white tee and skirt look? And it kills me how we will never see minimum wage people with the same outfit on. I want a show to challenge us and pop up with a repeat wardrobe. I know it has only been 9 dreadful, completely dreadful, episodes….but I need a repeat wardrobe. Hell, they already repeat the opening and closing of the show why not repeat a dress. And maybe this episode was EXTRA boring because it only took place in their house. *yawn*…and *yawn*…. oh hell, never mind..*yawn*

        Okay. I quit. I can’t watch any more of this today *yawn* I keep yawning every time I come to write. Shit, if you didn’t watch it…. you didn’t miss anything.

        In recap:  Tasha & Stacey’s father gave Charles and Jamaal some manly advice about getting married, while Charles and Kita’s mother is in the other room giving Kita, Tasha & Stacey some advice about not getting married.The same old thing you hear bitter old people say. So, you see… it was a recap of a black family reunion. Okay… I’m sure more happened… I, literally, was too damn bored and didn’t give a fuck enough to watch it. And Scene.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Charles’ moving out really mean that next episode wont start in the fucking bedroom? THERE IS A GOD!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Let’s Stay Together and Die from Predictability

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

        Okay… this is how coming down off a crack or weed induced high must feel. I was just so excited about watching that episode of The Game and knowing that my homegirl Cristinia is gonna have a field day with her commentary and then I remembered that I had to watch this boring ass show.

Take Boredom in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

        Okay, is this like Episode 8 and they are still starting the show off in the bedroom. I can’t remember but wasnt last episode the one where she was too afraid to get married? And yet they are all in love as if the last episode didn’t even occur? SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

        Okay, am I the only one who realized that they roll the kids into the room and they always face a wall? I’m calling CPS on them. The kids never move, they never cry, people can have full adult conversation without ever taking the children out of the stroller. Shame. If you weren’t planning on showing the children… don’t write twins into the show!!!

        Yes, I realize I start everything off with “Okay”. But hell… if they can start every damn episode off in the bedroom, I can start off every paragraph with okay.

       SO KITA IS GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THIS ENTIRE EPISODE?!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! Can the rest of the cast sign on to her vow of silence.

        Ummm.. how did the Stacey see Tasha and Jamaal coming into the restaurant without even turning around. And are the kids named Emma & JJ? How is one named to go to Harvard and the other named to go to Howard? And why was she taking the sheets off the bed? I’m confused-ed!!!!! And why are they dressed so well to PAINT!!! Can we get any worse with the believability of this show?

        Speaking of painting… are the invisible twins with the invisible grandparents? I am so tired of waiting to see kids that don’t exist that it is giving me a migraine. I want them to surprise me. I can’t do it…..shoot me now! If I stop blogging about this…would you guys even mind? Hell.. I say invisible, because Jamaal just asked Charles if he has met his FIANCEE’s mother! Sooooo the only family member that he has met of Stacey’s is her sister Tasha? Where do her parents live? I’m confused. He can meet her friends from college, but not her parents? *side eye* Someone didn’t think this plot out.

        I feel like getting my fallopian tubes removed under local anesthesia than watch this shot. I would rather get my groove on with a 72-year-old man with erectile dysfunction even after using Viagra than watch this show. I would rather witness this imaginary baby pee all over Stacey….while she wears a shirt that she has yet to take off. Did she at least wash the pee off? Yep… I would rather get a Brazilian with old wax from a blind German woman than watch this show. I am almost positive that I would rather get gang raped by midgets with Prince Alberts than be forced to watch this next week.  No… I’ll go as far as to say I would rather exhume my mother and slap her than to….okay I think you get it. Is it over? Please let this commercial come back with credits. SHIT!

       Ummmm.. fuck a vow of silence. If a man came at me like that I would have to talk and then start the vow over after the fact. lmao!

       Grade: Oh hell… I still hate it. I ran out of clever flunking grades. I still don’t get this damn show. At least tonight they tied in the fact that they don’t know when the wedding is going to be. The DL relationship jokes between Jamaal and …damn what is the fiance’s name…it would have been funny but for some reason it didn’t stick. Can I be the first to start praying that they give The Game this time slot next season? And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Ummmm….

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Yeh, so if you are smart, you know that I write my The Game and Let’s Stay Together reviews on the same night, so I don’t have any preview banter because I was sick majority of the weekend and took today off from work to rest so I woke up right before choir rehearsal and I didn’t have time to write my witty banter. So…..that long run on sentence to say. Click the links above if you want to catch up on the previous episodes.

Take 2, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, ……Ummmm…

Okay…. so I am still watching. Shoot me now!!! I should have started typing a few minutes ago, but I didn’t feel like it. Nor did I have any motivation, to be honest about it. ummmm…..

Fellas, don’t listen to either of these guys. You’ll get your ass whooped!!! Ummm Why is Thelma the wedding planner? Have we ever seen her with a man in real life or on TV for that matter? And that purse looks like they dipped Big Bird in Barney’s bath tub and dropped it off in an Alabama Swap Meet. Did they just say it was ostrich? Ummmm…. Ummmm… Ummmm.. (speechless)

Ummmm… why do they have Thelma in subtle AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha) colors? I know 5 AKAs off the top of my head that would scream that is the wrong shade of pink. And…. why are we watching this episode anyway? Is she having cold feet and why? Don’t yall wake up in the bedroom EVERY SINGLE EPISODE? Isnt this show damn near wrapped around you and your drama? Havent we watched the past 6 BORING ass episodes based around yall?

WHERE ARE THE DAMN TWINS?!!!!! I am trying to help yall create the black Olsen Twins!!! Come on… pick Khalil & Kandice so we can get the party started!!! Okay, we just found out that their name is Woodsons. And I am finding out that Tasha isnt that smart…. really no one in this show has a full fucking basket.

Sidebar: Who is downloading episodes of this damn show on iTunes? Can i track them down by their IP addresses and tell them to stop being so fucking cruel and encouraging this damn show?

i need a drink……*take a shot*(seriously)

Oh… surprise….. they ended in the bedroom and next episode doesn’t have a DAMN thing to do with this episode. I swear you all owe me for watching this shit!

Grade: ZZZZZZZZ- ifinity

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

        If you are able to both read and comprehend the English language, then judging by the title you should know how I feel about this show right now. I mean really. Is this how film critics feel while watching movies that suck? I know Ebert had to have snuck out of a boring ass movie to go get a hot dog at least once! (R.I.P). You can’t tell me he watched every single one of these horrible accounts of acting. Well, if he did…then I guess I have to as well.

        So, Last week, and the 4 weeks before it sucked. That is the only recap that I can honestly give you. I have no clue what the previews eluded to happening this week. I dont care either. So,

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, DAMN!

        Okay, soooooo I watched it but I wasnt paying attention. The previews bored me to tears and Kita’s fucked up accent made me regret being from the south. It was boring, it was horrible and I still have no clue what the overall gist was suppose to be. Again, as stated, the show started in the bedroom. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! and Kita was babysitting again when last time Tasha didnt like it.  And the engaged couple ended up makingg a big deal about havingg gifts fromexes only to wind up keepin every single one of the gifts.  WHY?

        I still see no point in this show. They dont connect, the plots are independent of one another and it is hella predictable. I am so damn bored of this. I cant even muster up enough energy to get witty with this description. So…. this is all that you will get. Yeh… and if I have to watch it next week, I swear I will slit my wrists. I’ll do it with a rusty spoon, just to prove my point at how painful watching this show is. Okay… just writing this is taking up too much time. I’m not even goin to prrof-read this. So suffer.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Bored Ass Hell Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

 

         For those who think that I care about writing this… my bad, your fault. I wrote this two days ago at the same time I wrote The Game‘s review. So yes, I am still in that “I don’t give a damn” mood. So you better be thankful that I didn’t fall asleep and I chose to write this review. Yes… I said it. AND WHAT!?

        Sooooooo, there is not much connect from episode to episode or much meat within an episode, hence why the last blog was called Kill Yourself. There is a disconnect between shows. They wrap everything up in each episode which means that you can pick up at any episode and get what is going on. There is no real urge to set your DVR to watch previous episodes because you feel like you are missing something and you want to be in the loop. I guess that is a positive that The Game has going for them. For instance, Malik’s arrest has already lasted 2 episodes so you have to watch both to get what happened….that draws in a crowd’s interest. But this one is TOO predictable, which is what I wish would happen with The Game. I know that the show will start in the bedroom and end with the engaged couple stripping. BORING! Give me something.

        One thing that I can say about this show is that it is helping me in my personal life. As I am in the process of directing an upcoming show ( STAY TUNED) and assisting with editing the script… I am learning to watch for believability and continuity. Did we plant the seed for this scene in the previous scene? Did that acting choice make sense? Is this set conducive to what the scene is trying to convey? If we mention children…SHOW THE DAMN CHILDREN!!! Okay… enough of my banter…

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, …….does the show have to start? SHIT! Okay, 1.

I CALLED THAT SHIT!!!!!!! They started in the bedroom…..AGAIN!! Where’s my money, Bitch?! You mean to tell me that they don’t have a TV in the livingroom? They could have gotten a condo or a studio apartment with as much time as they spend in this ugly ass bedroom! I will run in my backyard in my undies for 30 seconds the day that this show DOES NOT start in the bedroom. Hell.. I MIGHT even post it. Keyword, MIGHT. And I mean really… can they stop pretending to act and do!

Wait…. what?! Kita is having sensual dreams about Jamal?

Wow.. what is this little kid’s name? You know, he played in Idlewild as the younger Rooster & Role Models (“This motherfucker tried to touch my hang dang”). Umm…*Google search* Bobb’e J. Thompson. He has grown up so much…kind of… but his voice is still the same. DAMN!!!! he is cock diesel! Why are teens working out like death row inmates these days? Damn…. does he have the Gary Coleman disease? He looks stunted. If he does, then these are all inappropriate jokes that I have already reserved a space in hell for as I continue to laugh while I type. Yep… he made this scene….

I mean really, do you stand 12 feet away from a cabinet to open it and pull that hard? I saw the gag coming a mile away like a DL brother singing Its Raining Men court side at a Laker’s game. This horrible acting and bad plot is killing me. Why am I watching this again? Ohm that’s right… so I can have something to complain about in my already perfectly blessed life! And Kita’s horrible ass dream plots are the PERFECT set up for me to complain all mother loving year-long! Would you EVER admit that you were having dreams about someone’s husband. FUCK NAWL! Sooooooo, we’re back to my point on lack of believability.

Like them working on this cabinet. It would have been believable if they would have put it together properly and then when finished it fell off the wall. I was already able to predict by the way that they were hitting the wall without any nails that this was going to turn out horribly. BE BELIEVABLE WHEN AIMING TO BE UNBELIEVABLE!!!! You play opposites! Isnt that Stanislavski or Uta Hagen, or someone! That is acting 101! I swear it is. I know… I have my Masters Degree in Fine Arts!!! These aren’t just jokes people… I know what the hell I am talking about. Just like how I knew that it would start AGAIN in the bedroom!!!! Jessyca just Facebooked me laughing at the fact that I called it. Hell… CALL ME NOW!!! Is Cleo out of jail?

I predict that… Ummmm. My ball is clowdy…lol. But, I bet you that it is either going to end in the bedroom or with a weak ass striptease. …….Okay, he just walked into the bedroom and woke her up… wait for it… wait for it. BITCH, GIVE ME MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Grade for this episode: N+… and that is ONLY because Bobb’e was on there. Kita’s over acting at the end made me itch… the fact that this show in NO WAY connects to the last show drives me up the wall. The fact that these are realistic yet over exaggerated plots are enough to make me hope in my SUV, take a 15 minute drive, hit Brantwood Drive and blow up BET studios ( JUST JOKES PEOPLE). I am TRYING to make something good of this. I swear I am…. I am begging for the writers to make this feel like a joyous occasion and less of a punishment. Okay… Mo’Nique is on…. I will continue to complain. MY STANDARDS ARE HIGH!!! If you can impress me then you will be a hit. And I know you are thinking, “Who the fuck are you.” And my answer is….. I was thinking the same damn thing about you, except you SHOULD know me! I’m 2Deep, Trick…Google me. Like Komplex says, “I’m Googleable”. And I’m outtie 5000!

Next Week’s Episode: Shit…. I just saw it and forgot it that damn quick…lol. Oh Well, watch it next week.

Sincerely,

~*MyMother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together…. Kill Yourself Ep4

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Okay, soooo I am slow as hell. Queen Latifah is the executive producer of this show. Dana and I literally share a cousin… true shit, put it on my mama….but I have to raise my eyebrow at my distant cousin’s show.

Starting the show off in the bedroom AGAIN!!!!? This is becoming boringly, yes…boringly, predictable. Surprise me! Switch it up in Episode 5…. start them out in the kitchen. Its called Let’s Stay Together and not Let’s Wake up in Bed Together. I mean there is no excitement in this. I promise you I am going to bash this show with no regret if every episode opens with them in bed. Sorry, cuz.

Okay… I actually laughed at the “Big Tooth Bastard” joke…. but is this her real accent or a horrible attempt at a southern accent? My friend told me that they are in Atlanta. I am still looking for a sign that verifies this. And what does the wife, Tasha, do for a living? AND WHAT THE FUCK DO THEIR KIDS LOOK LIKE?!!! Where living children not budgeted for? These invisible children are what is also making this a horrible show for me. They are always in the back room or hidden by a rickety double baby stroller. I am starting to belive that the kid scenario is slowing down the plot. They could have been married without children and then a pregnancy could have been written in later. Something, anything than what they are offering me.

*SCREAM* 15 minutes into the show and I still have no clue what the overall theme of this show is. Is it the engaged couple staying together… or is it that Kita is actually responsible? I have no clue what the tying theme is.

I can’t even laugh at Tichina Arnold. AND TICHINIA IS ALWAYS HILARIOUS!!! And…. I knew a girl whose aunt use to be a stripper and wound up being a minister. Oh LORD!!!! I am bored to tears. Nope…. I am bored to reincarnation. You know I am bored when I notice that Tasha’s roots are 1B and her ponytail is CLEARLY a 2.  Shoot me now…. not even Tichina can save this show. Yall, I zoned out so hard that I started answering emails. I forgot I was watching it on purpose…lmao! What is this, slow ass plot night for BET sitcoms? I’d rather watch Precious & For Colored Girls rape scenes with my eyelids taped open while being assaulted in the butt by the clown from the movie IT than to be put through another week of this hot mess!

YES!!!! *does somersault complete with a split* THE DAMN SHOW IS OVER!!!!

Overall Grade: Z-. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN FROM THAT EPISODE?!!! It was pointless. I can’t get those 30 minutes of my life back. You can rob me, shot me in the forehead….but dont waste my motherfucking time!!!! DONT WASTE MY MOTHERFUCKIN TIME! Especially when I am trying to support you! So, was I suppose to learn to hate on a woman who came into my house and help me out? Was I suppose to learn that pre-marital counseling is pointless? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN?! Oh lawd, hold me back! I want to rant for 30 minutes just so I can feel fucking productive.  I am seriously pissed that I watched that bullshit! Now I need to go and drink after that bullshit! Yes, BULLSHIIIIIIIT!

Dont even fucking ask me to comment on the preview for next week’s episode.Because I’m mad I’ll have to watch it just to blog about it.  *mumbles under breath and hits save*

P.S. Acting 101… play the truth and not the words. What is the intent of what you want to relay? Playing the words are making these people caracitures. I HATE IT! I want to see this show do well, but you’ve GOT to give me something to work with. People who are predicatable are boring as hell! Make the fiancee a doctor who is somewhat proper and geeky but isnt so far out of the loop that itisnt believable. Let her be able to sing opera and not soul. Let Kita…what does she do anyway? …let her be the hood sister but an educated and not the annoying one that you press mute on. There are Soooooooooooo many things that I could change. Just give me TRUTH!!! Not your interpretation of comedy. And Scene! (P.P.S. I’m not proof-reading this post)

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

What Happens in this House….:A Molestation Survivor Speaks

WARNING: This is a very graphic and tough topic. Personal experiences and sexual references are made and PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

        Somewhere, in some part of the world, there is a little girl snuggled in her bed pressed against a wall, head under her pillow with just enough space to inhale for the breath holding ahead and to peek towards the door knob awaiting the return of her personal boogie man. Monsters Inc prepares children for the monsters who reside under your bed and in your closets, but what about the monsters who pin you down to the bed and force you and this secret into the closet….what then?

        I was one of those children, and I don’t know if I have ever stopped being one of those children. To this day, I sleep with my bedroom door locked, a privilege that was not granted to me living under his roof. I have escape routes out of windows in my house just in case an intruder were to ever invade my safe haven. Windows covered in complete darkness resemble the rooms I had growing up because our neighbor’s house was so close and he lived by the rule of thumb that “what happens in this house stays in this house.” Who was I to judge his authority?

(Screaming!) He molested me! *exhales* There, I said it…outloud. Who is this “he”, you ask?

        He was my father, Charles S Carter Jr, and he was the man who molested me from before I could remember until the courts took us away from him when I was 12 years old. People say that I look like him, but I still need a DNA test to even begin that process. He was an electrical engineer with several degrees who spoke several languages, and a normal relationship was as foreign to us as him speaking Korean to me in moments of battle. I was his daughter. His first-born, born from the love that he had once married to my mother, but I would come to learn that although I was not his favorite I would turn out to be Daddy’s Girl. Late night parent daughter talks, asthmatic lungs inhaling the stench of Newports from his chest as the weight of a grown man crushed my prepubescent body into a mattress for no other reason than I was female, easily accessible, and he had a disease that yearned to be fed. Daughter perched on daddy’s lap became a moment to talk about whatever popped up, as eyes were turned to the roaming hands of a step brother who idolized him and my flat chest at the same time. This is where I lived and died daily. I lived with a military man who swore to protect his country but protected the secret of his personal habit even harder. Just ask my crushed toes underneath the Army boots that were now stepping on my feet for not wearing socks or houseshoes…as if being his daughter wasnt punishment enough.

        I remember being punished just for breathing too loudly; popped in the mouth for the escape of a smack reaching his eardrum. A simple tug of his beard meant I was in trouble. One time, he hit me so hard in my tailbone that I lost control of my legs and urinated on myself all in one swift swoop, just to turn around and get a whooping for messing up the floor. A call from the teacher meant that I would have to strip in front of my father and walk the house butt naked and if he saw me ,and felt like it, then I would get a whooping right then and there. I became a master at silently turning door knobs better than he could and dodging in and out of bedrooms and hallway closets just to go to and from the bathroom in peace. Doing number two (pardon the graphics) was the only time I could be in the bathroom in peace without anyone entering.  Fingers entering openings to ensure “cleaning” because I was filthy, followed by my father laying me on the bed to towel dry me off and rub me from head to toe with baby oil. Slow grinding on me was common place. Adolescent hips popping out of socket under the weight of his grinding, hurting, caused me to try to push him off because talking would make him lose his concentration and bring whoopings. He never listened to my cries and held my hands down. There I was, learning the best lessons of male and female relationships from my father. How lucky was I to learn about the birds and bees from my own father? Every girl needs a father in the house, right?

        One day in church I just didn’t want to go back to his house. My aunt couldn’t make me if God told me to go back himself. I’d had enough. Sitting in the police station with male police officers giving me different toys to describe my fathers penis proved unfruitful; I didn’t trust males. They had no choice but to send me back. I got a whooping until I blacked out. My father took me to a therapist to save face…maybe she could figure out where I was “making these stories up”.

        Off of Carmichael Road in Montgomery, Alabama sat my therapist’s office. A soft-spoken caucasian woman who listened intently as my father sat on the other side of the door.  That is until the day she asked me to re-enact with Barbie and Ken what I told the police happened….so, I showed her. She opened the door and invited my father into the room so he could see too. I never spoke of anything again. And yes, you guessed it….I got a whooping until I had an asthma attack and he had to take me to Maxwell Air Force Base to the ER. This time my Aunt believed me and she fought for custody…but she still allowed him visitations until she passed away when I was 15. He came to her house for her funeral and sat in the kitchen and told ever male there not to be trusted around me because I would lie on them like I had lied on him. And he vanished into street legend. I never saw him, or the therapist ever again.

        My father followed me, in theory. I heard stories of him doing crack from friends in high school, but he had taught me the best lesson ever; Never let anyone make you feel like less of a person. I walked those halls of my high school as a virgin…because I was. Guys from all around wanted to be with the virgin and every single one failed. I wouldn’t willingly give myself to someone until I was in college. You see….I was molested, but he didn’t take my virginity.

        Every guy is not my father, nor am I searching for him in every guy that I date….but through all that I wrote above and more that I didn’t write….I was still a human. A demon like him couldn’t touch the best parts of me. He couldn’t reach them with all of his might because his intentions were wrong. My virginity had nothing to do with sex…my virginity was me, my mind, my free spirit, my determination to rise above where people keep putting me, and the favor that was placed over me even though I was entangled in a generational curse. He tried, but I walked out of his house and his presence with the hymen of my integrity and the mission over my life in tack.

        Today, he lives in Baltimore. He’s never been prosecuted, never been made to suffer for what he put me and others through. One day, and maybe soon… I will walk to where they say that he works and tell him that he couldn’t break me. He couldn’t make me feel less than a princess even though my father wasnt a king.

        This is a part of what I went through, but it is NOT who I am. It helped me make decisions about not showing my body to just any guy. You’ll never hear tales of me sleeping with different guys all in the name of love without being in love. You’ll never see pics of me plastered on the internet that show more of my assets than I am showing I am worth. And you will never hear that I’ve stopped breaking the silence. I was molested but I was never a victim. My virginity never has to be born again because it never died. I found strength through this. Dont get me wrong, I’d never go back a second time…. but I made it out, and THAT is something to be proud of. Where I came from does NOT determine where I will go.

       So, to anyone who has been through similar stories….today is not too late to realize that they had the problem and not you. We are of a sisterhood that many will never understand. I salute you and all of your wonderful glory. I stopped holding my father accountable for what he did to me and the effects it had on my life the day I last saw him….that is not my battle. It weighs you down, trust me. I try to find love as much as often in my daily activities…..today.. I love you. One day you will gain the strength to no longer be ashamed of your story…until then I will speak for you, I dont mind. What are sisters for, right?

        My prayer is that, just this once ,you listen to my father: What happened in your house, stays in your house…..including the pain and the shame. We’ve got other little girls to protect. No time for living in the past. Here, take my hand…..I’m with you as we walk out of our molester’s house. God bless!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

This is the house where majority of it happened. On Pinebrook Dr in Montgomery,AL