I don’t think that men actually get it. I mean, the fastest ways to piss me off is to not act your age and to stab Chivarly in the back in my presence. Yes, a tad bit dramatic… I get it, but I am fed up with it. Why couldn’t I have been born 50 years before my time. I would rather have fought Jim Crow than to squabble with Dumbasses. Trust me, this is not an exaggeration… white man…. call me nigger. I honestly could take that over my own black supposed king calling me bitch.
Where is this stemming from, you ask? So there is this “guy”. I could say sooooooooooo much right now but I am choosing not to as not to set his whole entire village on fire. Fuck burning the bridge, I want to set his future grandkids on fire! He irks the shit out of me in ways that I didnt even know that I could be disturbed. I mean… I have had thoughts of fucking him up. I keep trying to give him a chance because I already know that I am crazy, but there is no helping this fucker in my presence.
So today, I woke up feeling horrible. I was supposed to spend the night at his house (TRUST ME THERE WAS NO SEX GOING ON UNLESS HE RAPED ME!). But, I knew that I would want to come home and get some rest after blogging about The Braxtons and Sinbadso I called and asked if we could reschedule. I was respectable. But as the day went by I started to feel a little bit better…. took meds….and then said I could come over for a little bit but not stay the night. So we are kicking it….. Read the rest of this entry »
Okay, so by now you should know that I absolutely did not care enough about this damn show to watch or even review last week’s episode. UNTIL…. I sat down tonight and saw a season finale commercial. I felt bad. I felt guilted into writing this review because I felt like I didnt suffer through this show til the very end. So…… I am writing this portion on Sunday and the new episode comes on this Tuesday and I shall review.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2 END!!!!!
Yep…. three days after the finale finally aired… I figured I would blog to its completion. Now…. why do they have one more episode than The Game? I soooooooo would rather be preparing my tax spreadsheet for my accountant rather than watching this, but I am not a quitter.
Ummm.. what is up with Tasha’s bushy hair? Wait… is that the second Aunt Vivian from Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Wow… did her hair grey that fast? Wooooooooow! The original Aunt Viv still looks beautiful. Wait, not saying that her replacement isnt beautiful… okay..hell I said it. You know what I meant. Moving on.
I now feel some kind of way watching Jackée Harry now that I know she was once married to Charles Elgin…or is it Elgin Charles? I’m sooooo not excited about this episode and you cant make me *crosses arms and pouts*.
And did Kita just call her Mrs. Judge? Okay, so her name is Jaunita Lawrence. So I guess they had to get a light skinned mother to make up for Tasha’s skin tone…lol.
But, to be honest, Charles and Stacy’s first meeting was the BEST acting that I have seen between the two of them the entire season! Waiiiiiit! This pinstripped dres that she has on was the coolest that we have seen Stacy the whole season? Sooooo where has this cool version of Stacy gone? Okay, soooo Joyful Drake, honey….we now know that your hair looks like a 70’s blowout because you needed it to look a certain way for the old flashback buuuuut they didnt have time to straighten it for the current time? And in these flashbacks… whywas Stacy’s hair the same in EVERY scene?
I cannot wrap my mind around Charles’ acting. Like he broadcasts what he is thinking or about to say/do…instead of playing the opposite.
And… what was the point of putting Troy (Tasha’s ex) there if it doesnt have ANYTHING to do with this plot. I mean I see how they used Charles to get him there, but I dont see the point of him there.
Now Stacy’s dressis ….hold the TOMMY FUCK UP!!!! I’m waiting for Tommy ( as the pastor) to say ” You may kiss your bride, DAWG” lmao!!!
Ummmmmmmmmm….. Is Charlse singing? And is it me, or did you not notice his lisp until he started singing this song? I mean this is second runner-up to Chris Brown’s “Atten-ten”. lol. I mean, Charlse has a nice voice… but this is when they should have had someone else sing this song FOR him. I am sitting here and all I can think of is how tall must Stacy be, or what is she standing on to be only inches below Tommy?
Waiiiiit I spoke too soon. I think that Troy is going to be more into this plotline than I first expected. I hope so, at least. And wow… Charles locked himself in a closet somewhere. I mean, the way that he ran out was STUPID and unbelievable. He easily could have said….I left what I wanted to say in the car. But noooooo. For dramatic effect you sat here and ran out all dramatic. SMH…. You cant make me believe that. I know you tried, but it was a horrible Douche with battery acid kind of fail!
Okay… so this past Tuesday….. I thought that BOTH The Game and Let’s Stay Together were having their season finales. And since I was sooooo swamped with having my diva Eboni Hogam visiting from out of town as my feature for my poetry shows, I only made it my business to review The Game’s finale. I just didn’t care enough to stay up an extra 30 minutes to write about Let’s Stay Together and then another 30 minutes to edit and post. I figured that no one would care whether or not I wrote the blog or not. Now, today is officially SUNDAY….and I am sitting here watch The Family Crews and a commercial pops up with the Let’s Stay Together cast walking down the aisle… WTF?!!!!
Okay… so I was guilted into writing this blog. Which means that after I write my blog on The Borgias I have to watch my DVR of Let’s Stay Together.Where they do that at?!!! I feel like I am being punished. I thought that it was over and I wouldnt have to write about it any more. But noooooooooo! It’s like the show that doesnt end. It’s like a yeast infection after Monistat 3 has been banned!! Its like the limp dick brother who keeps promising that he will put it on you!!! WHY!!!!
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, ,2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz
It is Wednesday, April 6th, and I am just now MAKING myself watch this episode before I begin watching The Real McCoy. Sad, yet so true.
OH MY LORD!!!! I waited two fucking weeks and they FINALLY did not start in the bedroom!!!!! *pauses to go run in my back yard in just my undies* True shit. My backyard is dark as hell when you turn the light off…lol. This reminds me that I need a privacy fence. I am sooooo excited about this. Why didnt anyone call me?!!! Ashley? Jessyca?!!!! I feel betrayed that you all would forget that I was waiting all my life for this moment!!! Shame!!! See how black people do you. lls.
*Damn this steak and asparagus salad is delicious* SHit…. forgot I could fast forward through commercials….lol. *fast forward*
Damn… who is this actor who is playing Ellis Johnson? Ummm… tip of my tongue like a kinky night at a strippers club. Chris spencer?! yeh… that’s who that is. He is so funny. But right now his jokes are corny. See, bad acting can make a great actor/comedian not funny.
Umm… Charles with his legs up in the air….didnt I mention the tip of my tongue? And his happy face is like.. no! OH!!!! COUNTESS VAUGHN!!! Lmao! She said “I feel it all up in my chest parts”!!!! LLS! I can’t stop laughing…hahahahahaha.I love her!!! I am so glad to see her back on the screen! Okay… Casting Director, you did well….this time.
I spoke too damn soon. Countess is carrying this scene by her damn self. Sad when a guest actor can make you laugh harder than the regulars. Like, why is Ellis snorting? Was I the only one who heard this? And why must everyone check their phone with extended arms? Are they blind?
And wow…. we saw this setup a mile away. Of course they were going to bring dates to the comedy show. SMDH!!! Can you writers stop fucking broadcasting?!!!!!!!!!!!! You had 12 episodes to figure this shit out. smdh.I have had enough of bad writing, here and in bad life… please don’t make me shoot you with a thesaurus!
SMH. Kita calling Chanteuse out is horrible. I am still over this whole situation. Wait…. Charmaine popping out the bathroom stall is weird and random. When was she suppose to know them? We’ve never seen her before today. Yep, Kim Whitley & Countess Vaughn are carrying this show.
Waiiiiiiiiiiiit! Okay, so this whole bathroom love confession …. Derwin has been there and done that. And it doesnt even seem believable. There are too many interruptions while they are trying to get a laugh. And I know DAMN WELL that she did NOT kneel and ask him to marry her. SMDH!!! If I see AIN’ bitch try that shit I swear I am quitting on love all together. And why did they walk all the way across the restaurant to exit when he came in from the same door the bathroom was on? So wouldnt his car be on the same side and Stacy would have caught a ride from Ellis? See…. I pay too close attention to detail to have them try to pull an okie doke on me. Still rushed and contrived. *sigh* But al least they didn’t start in the fucking bedroom.
Okay…. I MIGHT watch the next episode after this.. but I can’t stomach too much of this whack ass show!
Soooooo 11 episodes later and they STILL are starting in the bedroom. Yep… my girl Ashley called me from Alabama to point this out to me. Sad how everyone knows that I called this shit. My mentee @abmoore20 was dying laughing when the text came in and this was his first time watching the show…shame. Wow.. so Kita’s has a studio apartment? Okay, so this is the first time that we have seen their father. Unfortunately, every time i see Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, all I see is Joe Jackson from Jackson 5: An American Dream. And wow… why is he doing this bogus ass dance… I cant watch. This scene is boring me to stupidity.
I am so confused by the shot that just occured. I thought that Jamaal and Tasha had a house… but they flashed the outside of a hotel/condo building. They havent done that the entire season so I have no clue what their house looks like outside. So why are they doing it now? I am soooo confused. Just show the invisible babies so that i can be familiar with something. *sigh*
Okay, and now they chose to show the outside of the medical center as well…..
Wait… is this fine father the guy from Medea’s Family reunion? Yep, Henry Simmons…..Yummy… I mean…. did he just take his outter shirt off……wowzers. It should be a crime to look that damn good while fully dressed. he is right up there next to Sheriff Troy ( Lamon Rucker). But why is this dumb bitch putting the stethoscope on the father? I dont get it. Wow… okay, how did the son see the gum under the desk while on the examine table in a whole other room? Okay, so I just found out that her name Stacy Lawrence. Yes, here comes the invisible twins!!!!
I love that @abmoore20 is sitting here next to me suffering. I cant take this alone. Wow… why did they pick this actor to play the father? He is over acting as well. I cant take it!!! Yeh… @abmoore just said ” Well, I guess that everyone cant do everything perfectly.” Funny how he said that right after I just told him that Queen Latifah is the Executive Producer for this show. I tried yall… Would you all hate me if I didnt write about the finale? This show was over on the first episode. We are 11 shows in and I still know nothing about these boring ass people. Do they not have friends? I havent seen any constant friendships since Stacy’s friends from college left.
HOLD UP!!! Did Vannessa Bell Calloway just put down the imaginary D.C. chapter of whatever the hell organization they are in? *pops knuckles* Say it again ! Whoodie Who!!!! Is ass a prerequisite to be in this elite club? Were there any plus sized women in this organization?
And of course they showed the funniest parts in the commercial. Okay, and now this guy who is on a date with Stacy [ Henry Simmons] is actually pissing me off. I dont find it comical. I think that it is horrible.
And I called it… ask @abmoore10… Vannessa’s character was fronting. This show is so fucking predicatable. Sad, yet tru.
I dont give a damn about next week’s episode. Watch it your damn self! *ugh* Bored…..still…
So, after doing my 200 Men Said….Let a Man be a Man [<~Click Here] blog, I realized that there is so much emphasis in men wanting to DO things to and for women. It is as if it is in their genetic coding to be a doer. But also, it is in my genetic coding as a woman to take care of and for my man. I am very old fashion in this thinking. I can’t wait until I am married ( IN NO RUSH) so that I can be a power woman at the office during the day [Read 200 Men Said….Independent Woman] and then head home to cook dinner, run my man’s bath water and meet him at the door to take his coat and shoes. Yes, I , 2Deep, have been brainwashed as a 50’s housewife…. but that is something that I really want to do when I get married. Notice I said married… er’ybody doesnt deserve, nor should they get, this treatment. You need to reserve some things for your marriage. Now… back to the 50’s.
I honestly believe that with all of the things that men are so head-strong in doing for us women, there should be a moment of reciprocation as a sign of appreciation. Yes, they have conditioned “some” of us to the point of being spoiled and always expecting things, but at the same time, it wont kill us to show some appreciation back. It goes along with the theory that even the strongest structures in the world need to be maintained in order to maintain their strength and appeal. The Golden Gate Bridge, Statue of Liberty, and Eiffel Tower do not remain the iconic structures that they are without people caring for them after they stand tall and beautiful for the world to see. Our men, much like these structures, seldom….if ever, drop the macho man facade that they put on for the rest of the world. So, it then becomes our job to help them maintain, unwind, and remain the strong structures that they are.
How do we do that, you ask? Simply…. cater to your man! Yes, remember when Beyonce use to scream that before Jay put a ring on it? Yes, cater. He should be opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking on the curb side of the sidewalk, and protecting you….so what would it hurt if you reached over and unlocked his door from the inside of the car, said thank you, or held his arm to let him know that you feel safe? Would it kill you to cook for him and not want anything in return? Would it interfere with your spirit to wash a load of clothes between What Chili Needs is Therapy and Real Housewives of South East Compton? Or would you convert to satanism if you chose to sit and watch a show that HE wants to watch as you rubbed your fingers across his hair while he laid his head in your lap? Sorry fellas…I had to tell everyone that you do lay your head in our laps outside of sex…lol. These things will not only help you get a man but they will definitely set you on the path of keeping one.
So I wondered…..were my 200 Men in agreement with me and my catering to “him” ideals? Was I making this up just because I wanted to take care of someone or was there proof that guys like to be catered to just as much as women do. So I asked:
It is my belief that men like to be catered and pampered from time to time, too. Is this true? And what do you consider your favorite activity to get pampered with/by? i.e Dinner, massage, etc.
And the answers came pouring in!!!!!
DSMILEY1: yes & i would love a full body massage
Chub L: I love that long, sensual, hot oil massage. The kind so deep and passionate that it makes me feel like I could just collapse at any given moment. The type of massage that says I’m wanted with every touch.
CHRIST- O: I DO, BUT DONT CALL IT PAMPERING. DINNER, MASSAGE, BATH WATER RAN, ROLL ME SOMETHING TO SMOKE N LET ME WATCH TV, ILL BUST MY ASS FOR YOU THEN. [2Deep: LMAO!!! That is the best and most honest answer that you can get ladies….lol. So even if your man isnt a smoker, I have a feeling that the same rules apply]
Kycajrome L: Pampered…..No lol! not really a manly word….I’m just saying I’ve never heard another brother say ” I wish my lady would pamper me more ” LOL….NEVER ,and most won’t say….no not dinner again tonite…i want a massage instead…really!!!
ICE: I wanna cater to u
DEVON B: personally , I would like to be pampered, by a little wine and dine, maybe a massage for at least 20 to 20 plus min.then i would like…. well im different .i like different things…but whatever i like thats what i would want to be pampered with and some extra[ <~2Deep: Ha! He used Pampered!}
BIG SEKZI: dinner and massage
Code Name Bigsexy: lol me being pampered is me pampering her.i love affection.dinner always makes me feel good {2Deep: HA!!! HE USED PAMPERED TOO!!! Okay, maybe my caucasian brothers are moer apt to using the word pampered than my black brothers…lol]
Danny P: sure, well as for me, i like to be pampered as well. i think it’s a constant exchange when two people love one another. i like whatever comes from the heart. [2Deep: I proved my point…]
Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: the way 4 me to be catered is 2 let me cater 2 her with that same thing… thats enuff 4 me
DJ Urban Cowboy: A nice deep massage after a long day or a good workout at the gym will do worlds in my relationships
DARIUS J: YES I DO I LIKE LONG BACK MASSAGES AND THEN SUM…….
rroyallty: Yes. Dinner, massage, a lil ego boost and peace of mind without alot of mouth during that time frame would be nice. Some pleasure would be nice also.
Jerome P: yes, i think we like special treatment from time to time. my favorite activity is having my favorite meal prepared for me.
…….: I just prefer some sex and i’m ok
on the rocks…: Dont nag me…just come sit with me, kick your feet up, and show me you know how to chill without feeling like you’re wasting precious moments in life by not shopping, running errands, or etc…you can even have the remote, just dont cut on any reality tv.
Vince V: Well your belief is most accurate. I personally enjoy getting the whole spa type treatment from my woman, followed by a great home cooked dinner and a movie cuddled up together, then followed by her treating me to a sensual strip tease and a soft sexual seduction.
And my favorite comment came from :
Prestige “The One And Only”: Of course….we are arguably bigger On pampering than women. Personally i prefer for a woman to rub her hands in my hair [2Deep: Damn… him just admitting that is sexy as hell. *sigh* Okay…let me get back to writing this blog]
Okay, so I learned not to use the word PAMPER when refering to a man….lol. But I was right on point when it came to them liking when their woman catered to them. The majority of them seem to like massages, outside of the obvious sex. And as you can see… each man is very different in what it is that he likes and/or considered as catering to activities. No one makes me laugh harder than Christ-O’s answer, but if that is what he likes, then as his woman I suggest that you learn how to roll something for him to smoke….lol.
But like Prestige said, men are arguably bigger on pampering than women. But fellas, with all of the tough exterior and concern about what is a manly word and what will your boys think…..you guys send off the WRONG signs. If it werent engrained in me to be this way, I dont know if my guy would ever be pampered. Women are soft and we like clean nails, softER hands and softER feet rubbing up against us. It doesnt make you less of a man but it lets you get closer to your woman. So relax…..we’ve got you….IF YOU LET US. And majority of us want to. I’ll never forget the time I bought my guy a huge sunflower, which is actually the most masculine flower, and he took care of that damn thing and wouldnt let it die. When I asked him why he cared for it so much he said, “Because no one has ever done anything like that for me before and I wanted to take care of it to show you how much I appreciated you. Plus, a man’s not use to getting flowers.” lmao! Another time I taped a card to the ceiling above the bed for my man to see when he woke up while I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast with ALL of his favorite things. Still to this day he keeps bringing it up as one of the most thoughtful things that any female has ever done for him…and we dont even date any more…lol. *pats myself on the back*.
I have to insert a line or two here on behalf of the INDEPENDENT WOMEN who think like I do. Fellas, I never say it out loud, but I am an independent woman, and how I behave in the streets is not how I am at home. For the world I will not take bull, but I am more than willing to come home and cater to you if the sentiments are mutual. THIS is what a real independent woman is all about. Don’t be afraid to approach us, and don’t let those wanna-be independent women scare you off from the real powerhouses that we are. Trust me, you haven’t had a woman until you’ve had one that can negotiate the closing costs on a house being built and then come home and take care of you in the house. *Wink* And in some points of views….catering to is a form of subtle submission…think about it. So, let your women cater to you…and if she doesn’t…. tell her I SAID BOUNCE!!! And replace her with a real woman.
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I said that I wouldn’t write for this boring ass show any more… but it was on… and I started this process, so, I need to finish it. No matter how much of a punishment this is I need to talk shit about the ENTIRE season. For example…..I mean damn… they started in the boring ass bedroom again. SMH. Even my homegirl Ashley texted me all the way from Alabama to point this obvious fact out to me…lol. I told yall I was in NO danger of running in my backyard naked because they would do this the ENTIRE season. I can hear my home girl, Cristina, now….lmbo! No….even better… I can hear Wedlocks screaming from her couch!!!
I blanked out and wasn’t paying attention to the rules that Charles and Stacy were coming up with in order to be friends while they are apart.
And watching Jamaal and Tasha come up with which object to bring to life in a children’s book is really killing me. Maybe…..and this is JUST A SUGGESTION…..maybe they could make the CHILDREN APPEAR!!! That would be the best book ever!
Is that Nephew Tommy? LMAO!!! They are trying to get every comedic cameo in this first season, but it still isn’t making this show funny. Okay…. I take that back… LMAO!!! Did Kita just say they came up with the song called “Save a Thong, Wear a Thug” and “What You Mixed Wit” lmao!!!!! Straight foolishness.
I think that the commercials gave away the point of this show. Like we already knew that they were going to sleep together, so there was no suspense. You’re not suppose to give away the meat of the plot in the previews. *sigh* I could write a better show. I swear I could.
Watching Tasha pretend not to know how to type is painful. And in her words “ THIS SHOW DON’T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!” Yes, I’m aware of the grammatical structure…but she said it, not me.
I don’t even know how this episode ended…. Was too busy editing my The Game blog so I have no clue, nor so I care. So sad. And scene!
I refuse to comment on the fact that they started AGAIN….in the bedroom! I mean, who has a Wii in their damn bedroom unless they live in a studio apartment? *Yawn* Can someone, ANYONE please tell me the significance of this fucking bedroom. I don’t get it. Is it a gimmick gone horribly wrong? WHAT?! And Why, Why, Why, Why, Why , Why, WHY must we start and finish EVERY episode with Stacey and Charles? The redundancy is making this show horrible for me. You watch shows that are meant to surprise you, keep you mystified until the very last minute. There is not enough substance here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, yet alone to keep me mystified. Mystery babies, horrible accents, laugh tracks, repetition, and lack of substance merely suggest that I lower my IQ in order to love this show….and I refuse.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, *Yawn*
I am not drunk enough to watch this show. ooooooooooooooh *runs to fridge and pulls out Moscato* Wait…. *takes shot of Vodka first* Okay…. now I can watch the show.
Sidebar: For those of you who don’t know me… ask the people who do….. I KEEPS liquor in my house. And YES, I really did just stock up on the Goose in order to watch this show.
And this half-naked pic of Charles….ummm… *tilts head* I am trying to say in the nicest way possible….but KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, PLAYA! (Recap: Do you know that this pic never came back up in the rest of the show. So he showed a pic of a calendar he was in for a fundraising auction, but it wasnt a part of the plot of this episode. THEN WHY HAVE THE FUCKING PIC AND SUBTEXT IF IT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE OVER ALL PLOT OF THIS EPISODE?!!! Must I teach you people everything?!)
WTF happened to Jackee’s neck? I am bored watching it. What are all of these gifts for?Did I mention *yawn* that I am getting bored watching this? I want you to be just as bored reading this as much as i am ….OH! Bourbon!!! He used bourbon in his sauce. I don’t drink dark liquor…but whatever will get me through the next 15 minutes of this bullshit will surely suffice…. *yawn* Shit…what was I saying.
Maybe it is the shot… but havent we seen Tasha with this look before. The white tee and skirt look? And it kills me how we will never see minimum wage people with the same outfit on. I want a show to challenge us and pop up with a repeat wardrobe. I know it has only been 9 dreadful, completely dreadful, episodes….but I need a repeat wardrobe. Hell, they already repeat the opening and closing of the show why not repeat a dress. And maybe this episode was EXTRA boring because it only took place in their house. *yawn*…and *yawn*…. oh hell, never mind..*yawn*
Okay. I quit. I can’t watch any more of this today *yawn* I keep yawning every time I come to write. Shit, if you didn’t watch it…. you didn’t miss anything.
In recap: Tasha & Stacey’s father gave Charles and Jamaal some manly advice about getting married, while Charles and Kita’s mother is in the other room giving Kita, Tasha & Stacey some advice about not getting married.The same old thing you hear bitter old people say. So, you see… it was a recap of a black family reunion. Okay… I’m sure more happened… I, literally, was too damn bored and didn’t give a fuck enough to watch it. And Scene.
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Charles’ moving out really mean that next episode wont start in the fucking bedroom? THERE IS A GOD!
So, recently I wrote 2 blogs An Independent Woman’s Place [<~Click Here] and [Click Here~>] Deuces Dos & Donts, and the answers that I got back from them had a lot in common; Let the Man be a Man. WTF!? I have no clue what that means. I am just being honest. People say it all the time, but is there a Wikipedia page about letting a man be a man? Is it different in different cultures? Should the woman go by her culture or learn what that means in her man’s culture? Can you upgrade it? Find it on Amazon? WHAT!!!? You can’t come at me all ambiguous and what not. Didnt you tell me that one of the things that women need to do is to communicate EXACTLY what we are thinking because you can’t read our minds? Guess what…this doesn’t mean what you think it means. So, what does it REALLY mean to “let a man be a man”?
Okay…I’m a big girl, I can admit when I need help. So, I needed help trying to figure out what this meant. Because in all honesty, in woman code, this translates to “Shut up woman and fix me some food”. You might as well call me a bitch and put me in geisha make-up. The phrase almost implies that a woman has the power to stop you from being a man, which then suggests the question of “why should I be with you if I can stop you from being a man?”. No, don’t shoot the messenger… I’m just saying…this phrase is looking a little swiss cheese-ish to me.
Well, when I hear it I speculate that he means that he needs to be in control at that moment, or that I have stepped on his manhood a little too much. That is all I can do….. speculate. But… I also think that there are several different ways to let a man be a man, and each one is a sign of how much of a man the woman is dealing with. For instance, my godmother has this way of politely saying my godfather’s name that will shut the sentence down and change the topic. She was letting him be the man, in my opinion, but not embarrassing him nor letting him embarrass himself. He still got to maintain his pride. I have never , and I mean NEVER seen her raise her voice at him. Now what goes on in the privacy of that bedroom when you hear her call his name politely down the hall….that is on them. I am sure they have had disagreements… I have never seen it. The one thing that I have caught by accident is when my dad left his wallet at home after she reminded him to get it, he didn’t. So we’re at the restaurant and he is entertaining friends and family and the check comes. My mother knew what was about to happen, and I saw her playing around in her purse and then she slipped her credit card under the table and into his lap under his hand without missing a beat. THAT was letting my father remain a man so that he could place the card on the table and pay the bill. But, in letting him be a man, she had to be a woman to see what was needed and assist him. I have a STRONG feeling that guys around my age don’t see that as the definition of Letting a Man be a Man. So I asked them.
I asked my 200 Men…..
On my last question I saw pretty much the same response. What does “let the man be the man” mean to you and what should a woman do, or not do, to let the “man be the man”?
And since I never read the comments until I come back through to edit the formatting of the post…. I have no clue what you are about to read. The 200 Men Said….
Danny P: All of this isn’t this complicated. When it’s right, the two involved in the relationship are who they are and the couple is still one. All this [means is] let [it] be [the way in] which [it] is… if [letting] the person be who they are is [them being a ] cheating fool or something… well uh duh
Allen Ozark: ??? not sure.
Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Its means, let the man think he’s in control even if you’re in control. Also, all duties that are designed for a man…let him do them even if you’re better. Eventually, if he’s a real man he’ll admit that you’re better at whatever and come to you for assistance, and rightfully so. [2Deep: This man never ceases to amaze me. But let him be in control even when he isnt…..isnt that lying? lol. Okay, Lie to my man. Check!]
DSMILEY1: Let the man be the man: in charge of houses chores like cutting the grass & washing the cars. Sometimes its good to switch out but [it] wouldn’t be the same
: !: it means if you have a Real Man, he leads the household in decisions..basically the King..but that doesn’t mean he is a tyrant. He should listen to advice from his wife and make good decisions. Basically, the way the Bible portrays it.
Lateef25: maybe not nag so much about what you want. just tell him in a nice way or let it go
Kycajrome L: I believe [it] comes from the Old school archetype of when the Man was the provider and fixer of everything in the household…depending how a man was raised some still hold those values ,times are a little diff, but old or new ,Respect is what a MAN wants
on the rocks…: that statement is self explanatory.far be it for a man to explain what it is to be a man.especially to woman these days. they seem to have their own blueprint for us.lol ..check every 3rd female profile and it’ll have a laundry list of what a “REAL” man is
Now you all know that I wasnt going to just STOP at some of these answers. So some side conversations came from them and they went a little something like this:
Vince V: I think that those answers are coming from men who feel insecure about their position in the household and basically wants the woman to run everything through him and let him have the final say so in what goes on in their relationship. when in my opinion a secure man who has good communication with his partner would trust his woman to be able to act as an extension of him to make good decisions with both his and her best interest at heart , but communication being the key. [2Deep: I simply love this answer…. he can stay…lmao]
Me: Sooooooooooo I noticed you said that a “woman to be able to act as an extension of him” What does that mean? And why cant it be the other way around? Just playing devil’s advocate here
Vince V: ok miss devil’s advocate….lol Traditionally the man would always be considered the head of the household because he was the bread-winner. but as times have changed and women have become less dependent on men; whether it be cause of equality between men and women, or financial responsibilities within a relationship. the level of the playing field has evened out, and either one could be considered the “head”. but sticking with tradition, even though the field is even, with the male being the head; any actions performed by the woman would be considered “okayed” by the man, to anyone outside that relationship. which would mean she was just doing it for him cause he cant get to it. Now it can work the other way around but then that would not be a traditional type relationship, plus then you might have a man with a really hurt ego about holding up the appearance of being the man of the house.
Me: Soooooooo what is a woman not suppose to do without her man’s permission?
Vince V: have sex with someone else….j/k lol a woman doesn’t need her man’s permission to do anything….but a woman or a man in a good relationship keeps open lines of communication with each other. especially when decisions that are to be made affect one another.
Me: Okay….so to let a man be a man is to keep an open line of communication with him. That’s it? ( I swear you’re gonna get sick of me…lol) But I am trying to make sure that I understand before I post it.
Vince V: no, to let a man be a man is to let him run everything and make all the decisions and don’t question the things that he does. but i would personally like having the input of my woman in every decision that i make for us, and vice versa .
Me: How is THAT being a man?!!! That sounds like a dictatorship!!!!! OH I SWEAR YALL WILL BE SINGLE FOR LIFE WITH THAT ATTITUDE!!! lmao
that is just the way life has traditionally put men with women. but like i said, as for me ,i like having the input of my woman cause i feel like it keeps us closer and more in touch with each other
Me: Gotcha! No prob….. I thought that you had great insight… My readers should hear it. Oh.. wait.. my fault. I didn’t let the man be the man. *submits* am I allowed to put your comment on my page? lmao!
Vince V was my favorite response, but I simply had to post my comments from Chub L. He keeps me cracking up and yet he still knows when to be serious. So here are his responses:
Chub L: Let the man be the man – let him get that door etc… Let him do for you what you shouldn’t have to do for yourself as his queen.
Me: That was your answer…. so what am I not suppose to do for myself as his queen?
Chub L:In the world that we live in today – It’s basically everybody for themselves, but my queen shouldn’t have to get her own door, ever. Everything else is pretty much up for grabs. I don’t have a problem with a woman’s independence at all. Whatever my independent queen will allow me to do for her is gravy. No qualms here. I’m open-minded – we can get the darn door for each other.
Me: So, it really is that important to a man to feel needed in a relationship? But is it just with tangible things? Does a man ever feel the need to be needed emotionally? Meaning, if she doesn’t want you to get the door but needs you to hold her every night… would you feel like less of a man?
Chub L: Being emotionally needed is even more of a necessity. The Queen needs for her king to not only be her rock while she’s awake -but to rock her to sleep and all the more rock her while she’s asleep. It is for the good of both. If my queen is kept happy then hence I will also be kept happy.
So, then… why do you think so much emphasis is placed on a man doing tangible things versus him being there for her in the emotional times?
Chub L : I haven’t got a clue – I can only speak for me – I do both. Many swear that what one does or demonstrates declares what they feel. That is true BS – we as human beings still need to hear and feel what mere tangible things can never satisfy.
Soooooooo are you still as confused as I am? I don’t want to be alone, so don’t leave me out here alone on Confusion Island. I mean, I get it…. but I don’t get it. So, as long as I allow my man to do “things” for me, then he feels like a man and all is gravy. So, I shouldnt have to touch a door in the presence of a man, pull out a chair, or cut my grass ( I don’t know, so I am halfway there), and let him make all of the decisions. I have a feeling that there is a gray area here that is in need of a dye job. It can’t be that friggin simple. So if I live by these few rules I am allowing my man to be a man? SWEET!
Okay, all jokes aside. I think it all boils down to respect. Do I respect my man to hear him out when he verbalizes his needs? Do I validate him when needed? Does he have an equal part in this relationship? I think THAT is where his concerns lay. Anything else is a dictatorship and it isnt going to happen over here. Respect for Respect should be the basis on which this blog should be concluded to. And Scene.
Okay… this is how coming down off a crack or weed induced high must feel. I was just so excited about watching that episode of The Game and knowing that my homegirl Cristinia is gonna have a field day with her commentary and then I remembered that I had to watch this boring ass show.
Take Boredom in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz
Okay, is this like Episode 8 and they are still starting the show off in the bedroom. I can’t remember but wasnt last episode the one where she was too afraid to get married? And yet they are all in love as if the last episode didn’t even occur? SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!
Okay, am I the only one who realized that they roll the kids into the room and they always face a wall? I’m calling CPS on them. The kids never move, they never cry, people can have full adult conversation without ever taking the children out of the stroller. Shame. If you weren’t planning on showing the children… don’t write twins into the show!!!
Yes, I realize I start everything off with “Okay”. But hell… if they can start every damn episode off in the bedroom, I can start off every paragraph with okay.
SO KITA IS GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THIS ENTIRE EPISODE?!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! Can the rest of the cast sign on to her vow of silence.
Ummm.. how did the Stacey see Tasha and Jamaal coming into the restaurant without even turning around. And are the kids named Emma & JJ? How is one named to go to Harvard and the other named to go to Howard? And why was she taking the sheets off the bed? I’m confused-ed!!!!! And why are they dressed so well to PAINT!!! Can we get any worse with the believability of this show?
Speaking of painting… are the invisible twins with the invisible grandparents? I am so tired of waiting to see kids that don’t exist that it is giving me a migraine. I want them to surprise me. I can’t do it…..shoot me now! If I stop blogging about this…would you guys even mind? Hell.. I say invisible, because Jamaal just asked Charles if he has met his FIANCEE’s mother! Sooooo the only family member that he has met of Stacey’s is her sister Tasha? Where do her parents live? I’m confused. He can meet her friends from college, but not her parents? *side eye* Someone didn’t think this plot out.
I feel like getting my fallopian tubes removed under local anesthesia than watch this shot. I would rather get my groove on with a 72-year-old man with erectile dysfunction even after using Viagra than watch this show. I would rather witness this imaginary baby pee all over Stacey….while she wears a shirt that she has yet to take off. Did she at least wash the pee off? Yep… I would rather get a Brazilian with old wax from a blind German woman than watch this show. I am almost positive that I would rather get gang raped by midgets with Prince Alberts than be forced to watch this next week. No… I’ll go as far as to say I would rather exhume my mother and slap her than to….okay I think you get it. Is it over? Please let this commercial come back with credits. SHIT!
Ummmm.. fuck a vow of silence. If a man came at me like that I would have to talk and then start the vow over after the fact. lmao!
Grade: Oh hell… I still hate it. I ran out of clever flunking grades. I still don’t get this damn show. At least tonight they tied in the fact that they don’t know when the wedding is going to be. The DL relationship jokes between Jamaal and …damn what is the fiance’s name…it would have been funny but for some reason it didn’t stick. Can I be the first to start praying that they give The Game this time slot next season? And scene!
If you checked out my blog yesterday, Lyrically Speaking: Keri Hilson~Intuition [<~Click Here] Then you would already know what this blog is going to be about. Women have the best intuition skills on the face of this earth, but sometimes your signal could be off and you could blame a man who is doing something based on your own fears and insecurities. This is a No, No. There are things that women think they are good at, or things that should occur in a relationship….and those very things could be the thing that breaks up the relationship.
For instance, do we as women listen as much as we like to complain that men don’t listen to us? I would have to say that women are the WORST listeners. Men damn near are forced into listening and women are unaccustomed to doing so. SO, I thought that I would lay somethings out in front of you in plain view.
We often times wonder if things were our fault when it comes to a relationship ending. Did we do something wrong? What could we have done better? Etc. But then we get into our pride, listen to our bitter ass girlfriends and fail to accept our part in a relationship going wrong. Most of the issue is that we didn’t listen to our partner or the warning signs that something was not going the way that it should, yet and still we pretended that all was gravy and ignored it. MISTAKE! We must face facts. And no matter how many hours we spend hovering over a box of Ben and Jerry’s we will always find ourselves blameless. So, I thought that I would ask my 200 Men the following question:
If there were 2 things that you could get women to do (or stop doing) in a relationship to make it work or last longer…what would those 2 things be and why? Send me a message for longer answers.
Now before you read these answers, you have to be open and honest with yourself. Before you go any further I need you to make the promise that you will not negate a single one of these answers. These guys deal with women, therefore they know what has bothered them in a relationship. Are all of these responses going to be about you? No, not unless you have been with all of these guys. But SOMETHING in here will strike a chord and pinch a nerve and you have to be willing to face that fact and be ready to fix it, because if it is listed… then it is a problem.
And the 200 Men Said….
Vince V: sorry I don’t like this question…for one it automatically assumes that it is something that a woman does or doesn’t do that causes relationships to end. when we all that is not true. (just keeping it real) no two relationships r the same, every one ends for different reasons. but if you want to hear the general consensus of the male demographic, the answer to your question would be… be more explicitly sexual and open to diversity in the bedroom, and to domesticate themselves a little more (learn to cook and clean).
Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Assuming 2 Much! And Needs 2 Communicate More!..Muahz..Pefect..lol
…….: Stop always acting like everything is about money,and stop acting like everything is about money lol
K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: WELL TWO THINGS ARE STOP ACCUSING A MAN OF BEING OUT WITH OTHER WOMEN AND SECOND , STOP BEING SILENT WHEN SOMTHING IS ON YOUR MIND!
ICE: Shut up lol…and trust me 🙂
Lateef25: not be so dramatic and just think before you react
Aries Brotha: Stop boasting about the intimacy shared in the bedroom. And to stop agonizing about where the relationship is going. Boasting could lead her friends wanting to see what’s up. Relationships evolve so there isn’t really any way to plan the future.
Jerome P: i think women should not assume what a man knows.Tell him whats going on in your head. just because we dont know something about you doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention to you. We don’t pick up on everything so quickly
James F: take care of her appearance and be a good listener
Code Name Bigsexy: 1 NO MALE FRIENDS.2 KNOW WE ARE A TEAM THAT MEANS I HELP YOU AND YOU HELP ME
!: be satisfied with your man’s position in life if he is happy…In other words, if he makes 60000 and content why bash him for not wanting more, or dressing a certain way, etc…just like him for him or make a change in her life.
!A Gentleman! (BBM:30A835CD): If I can get women to stop looking at me or guarding themselves as if I was the man who hurt them. Stop assuming you know us, every man is the not same, we’re not! we are all different.
THIS GUY: stop always trying to be right and stop trying to destroy another peaceful day
James L: To stop treating all guys like their cheaters because of their past relationship experience. You will run the good guy off. Say what you mean!!!! We can’t read between your lines, to many possibilities. Make it plain and simple what you want.
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE COMMENT CAN FROM :
Prestige “The One And Only”: Control your own confidence level. A man shouldn’t dictate a woman’s love for herself, if ever it gets to the point where I am the sole source of her believing in herself it becomes very unattractive. And never stop setting goals….
I read that comment and I wanted to revert back to southern Baptist Church days. PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gone On And Tell ’em The TRUTH, PASSA! (Yes, I said Pass and not Pastor). Don’t ask him if that dress makes you look fast. You knew you looked fat and wanted confirmation. Or you THOUGHT you looked fat and need to hear someone else say the words that mimic the thoughts in your head. That is NOT fair to him. You need a self-check. You need to be able to stand on your own. Confidence is sexy as shit! And the sooner you think you are beautiful is the same minute that the world will begin to agree with you. No self-denial can be included in this. So no obese chicks in 2-piece swimsuits because it doesn’t mean you are confident, that shows you are faking confidence. Nor does it mean that the skinny girl who believes that she has the bomb as body should go around and show everyone. Think about it, some of the most valuable collections of the world are behind glass and locked up where no one can see it or have limited access. Why would you expose your treasure? You are worth being the first to know that you are beautiful and worth being loved. Love yourself first, trust me when I tell you it is a beautiful thing.
Of course I agree with the intro to Vince V’s response and “……”‘s answer cracks me the hell up. But they all hold a good point in them. And even though ICE wants to get jumped… there is a point to his message as well. We must all learn to shut up SOMETIMES and listen just as much as we wish to be listened to.
Aries Brotha makes a great point about boasting and being a bug-a-boo. Ladies… if you read my Advice from the Other Woman blog you would know that you don’t tell your friends SHIT!! If they ask, just say everything is good. Only stupid females and high school chicks share the details of their relationships. STOP IT!!! Your man is telling you that if you tell you must have wanted someone to know so you can’t get mad when he gives a private tutorial to your best friend…lmao. Just kidding, but you catch my drift. And bugging him about where the relationship is headed is a sign that you are desperate. Seriously. If he wants you, you will know it. if you have to ask, then he doesn’t want you. Make yourself less available and show him that you have a life to live with or without him. If he can’t live without you….he’ll be back. So relax ladies, your asking is why your relationships keep failing. Your overall problem is talking, so shut up to your friends and to your man when it comes to where this relationship is headed… lmao. Well, do so in moderation.
And of course, the Bag Lady Effect. Boo, leave Tyrone’s issues with Tyrone. Keith didn’t hurt you, he may in the future, but you dont know that yet. Pain hurts but it makes us stronger. Imagine how many times iron has to be melted, molded, and hit over and over again to get it to a point where it holds up structures, becomes the frame for others. It feels like you are dying, but you wont. TRUST ME! I’ve been through some shit and I am still here. You are not afraid of Love. You are afraid of being hurt by Tyrone. Well you left Tyrone. Be able to think logically and not emotionally so much. This is nothing new. We’ve heard it all before. Now is the time to believe it and understand the effects of it. The men you seek do NOT like these behaviors. If there are things that you want them to change, you too have to be more willing to change the things about you that bother them. But I’m just a girl too. I suggest to myself that I need to follow my advice. And Scene!
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 