Let’s Stay Together and Commit Suicide

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

Episode 8: Die from Predictability

        I refuse to comment on the fact that they started AGAIN….in the bedroom! I mean, who has a Wii in their damn bedroom unless they live in a studio apartment? *Yawn* Can someone, ANYONE please tell me the significance of this fucking bedroom. I don’t get it. Is it a gimmick gone horribly wrong? WHAT?! And Why, Why, Why, Why, Why , Why, WHY must we start and finish EVERY episode with Stacey and Charles? The redundancy is making this show horrible for me. You watch shows that are meant to surprise you, keep you mystified until the very last minute. There is not enough substance here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, yet alone to keep me mystified. Mystery babies, horrible accents, laugh tracks, repetition, and lack of substance merely suggest that I lower my IQ in order to love this show….and I refuse.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,  *Yawn*

        I am not drunk enough to watch this show. ooooooooooooooh *runs to fridge and pulls out Moscato* Wait…. *takes shot of Vodka first* Okay…. now I can watch the show.

        Sidebar: For those of you who don’t know me… ask the people who do….. I KEEPS liquor in my house. And YES, I really did just stock up on the Goose in order to watch this show.

        And this half-naked pic of Charles….ummm… *tilts head* I am trying to say in the nicest way possible….but KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, PLAYA! (Recap:  Do you know that this pic never came back up in the rest of the show. So he showed a pic of a calendar he was in for a fundraising auction, but it wasnt a part of the plot of this episode. THEN WHY HAVE THE FUCKING PIC AND SUBTEXT IF IT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE OVER ALL PLOT OF THIS EPISODE?!!! Must I teach you people everything?!)

        WTF happened to Jackee’s neck? I am bored watching it. What are all of these gifts for?Did I mention *yawn* that I am getting bored watching this? I want you to be just as bored reading this as much as i am ….OH! Bourbon!!! He used bourbon in his sauce. I don’t drink dark liquor…but whatever will get me through the next 15 minutes of this bullshit will surely suffice…. *yawn* Shit…what was I saying.

        Maybe it is the shot… but havent we seen Tasha with this look before. The white tee and skirt look? And it kills me how we will never see minimum wage people with the same outfit on. I want a show to challenge us and pop up with a repeat wardrobe. I know it has only been 9 dreadful, completely dreadful, episodes….but I need a repeat wardrobe. Hell, they already repeat the opening and closing of the show why not repeat a dress. And maybe this episode was EXTRA boring because it only took place in their house. *yawn*…and *yawn*…. oh hell, never mind..*yawn*

        Okay. I quit. I can’t watch any more of this today *yawn* I keep yawning every time I come to write. Shit, if you didn’t watch it…. you didn’t miss anything.

        In recap:  Tasha & Stacey’s father gave Charles and Jamaal some manly advice about getting married, while Charles and Kita’s mother is in the other room giving Kita, Tasha & Stacey some advice about not getting married.The same old thing you hear bitter old people say. So, you see… it was a recap of a black family reunion. Okay… I’m sure more happened… I, literally, was too damn bored and didn’t give a fuck enough to watch it. And Scene.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Charles’ moving out really mean that next episode wont start in the fucking bedroom? THERE IS A GOD!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Let’s Stay Together and Die from Predictability

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 7: Ummm….

        Okay… this is how coming down off a crack or weed induced high must feel. I was just so excited about watching that episode of The Game and knowing that my homegirl Cristinia is gonna have a field day with her commentary and then I remembered that I had to watch this boring ass show.

Take Boredom in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, zzzzzzzz

        Okay, is this like Episode 8 and they are still starting the show off in the bedroom. I can’t remember but wasnt last episode the one where she was too afraid to get married? And yet they are all in love as if the last episode didn’t even occur? SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

        Okay, am I the only one who realized that they roll the kids into the room and they always face a wall? I’m calling CPS on them. The kids never move, they never cry, people can have full adult conversation without ever taking the children out of the stroller. Shame. If you weren’t planning on showing the children… don’t write twins into the show!!!

        Yes, I realize I start everything off with “Okay”. But hell… if they can start every damn episode off in the bedroom, I can start off every paragraph with okay.

       SO KITA IS GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THIS ENTIRE EPISODE?!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! Can the rest of the cast sign on to her vow of silence.

        Ummm.. how did the Stacey see Tasha and Jamaal coming into the restaurant without even turning around. And are the kids named Emma & JJ? How is one named to go to Harvard and the other named to go to Howard? And why was she taking the sheets off the bed? I’m confused-ed!!!!! And why are they dressed so well to PAINT!!! Can we get any worse with the believability of this show?

        Speaking of painting… are the invisible twins with the invisible grandparents? I am so tired of waiting to see kids that don’t exist that it is giving me a migraine. I want them to surprise me. I can’t do it…..shoot me now! If I stop blogging about this…would you guys even mind? Hell.. I say invisible, because Jamaal just asked Charles if he has met his FIANCEE’s mother! Sooooo the only family member that he has met of Stacey’s is her sister Tasha? Where do her parents live? I’m confused. He can meet her friends from college, but not her parents? *side eye* Someone didn’t think this plot out.

        I feel like getting my fallopian tubes removed under local anesthesia than watch this shot. I would rather get my groove on with a 72-year-old man with erectile dysfunction even after using Viagra than watch this show. I would rather witness this imaginary baby pee all over Stacey….while she wears a shirt that she has yet to take off. Did she at least wash the pee off? Yep… I would rather get a Brazilian with old wax from a blind German woman than watch this show. I am almost positive that I would rather get gang raped by midgets with Prince Alberts than be forced to watch this next week.  No… I’ll go as far as to say I would rather exhume my mother and slap her than to….okay I think you get it. Is it over? Please let this commercial come back with credits. SHIT!

       Ummmm.. fuck a vow of silence. If a man came at me like that I would have to talk and then start the vow over after the fact. lmao!

       Grade: Oh hell… I still hate it. I ran out of clever flunking grades. I still don’t get this damn show. At least tonight they tied in the fact that they don’t know when the wedding is going to be. The DL relationship jokes between Jamaal and …damn what is the fiance’s name…it would have been funny but for some reason it didn’t stick. Can I be the first to start praying that they give The Game this time slot next season? And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Ummmm….

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 6: Give The Game This Slot Too

Yeh, so if you are smart, you know that I write my The Game and Let’s Stay Together reviews on the same night, so I don’t have any preview banter because I was sick majority of the weekend and took today off from work to rest so I woke up right before choir rehearsal and I didn’t have time to write my witty banter. So…..that long run on sentence to say. Click the links above if you want to catch up on the previous episodes.

Take 2, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, ……Ummmm…

Okay…. so I am still watching. Shoot me now!!! I should have started typing a few minutes ago, but I didn’t feel like it. Nor did I have any motivation, to be honest about it. ummmm…..

Fellas, don’t listen to either of these guys. You’ll get your ass whooped!!! Ummm Why is Thelma the wedding planner? Have we ever seen her with a man in real life or on TV for that matter? And that purse looks like they dipped Big Bird in Barney’s bath tub and dropped it off in an Alabama Swap Meet. Did they just say it was ostrich? Ummmm…. Ummmm… Ummmm.. (speechless)

Ummmm… why do they have Thelma in subtle AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha) colors? I know 5 AKAs off the top of my head that would scream that is the wrong shade of pink. And…. why are we watching this episode anyway? Is she having cold feet and why? Don’t yall wake up in the bedroom EVERY SINGLE EPISODE? Isnt this show damn near wrapped around you and your drama? Havent we watched the past 6 BORING ass episodes based around yall?

WHERE ARE THE DAMN TWINS?!!!!! I am trying to help yall create the black Olsen Twins!!! Come on… pick Khalil & Kandice so we can get the party started!!! Okay, we just found out that their name is Woodsons. And I am finding out that Tasha isnt that smart…. really no one in this show has a full fucking basket.

Sidebar: Who is downloading episodes of this damn show on iTunes? Can i track them down by their IP addresses and tell them to stop being so fucking cruel and encouraging this damn show?

i need a drink……*take a shot*(seriously)

Oh… surprise….. they ended in the bedroom and next episode doesn’t have a DAMN thing to do with this episode. I swear you all owe me for watching this shit!

Grade: ZZZZZZZZ- ifinity

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~ Give The Game This Slot Too

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

Episode 5: Yes, I’m Still Watching

        If you are able to both read and comprehend the English language, then judging by the title you should know how I feel about this show right now. I mean really. Is this how film critics feel while watching movies that suck? I know Ebert had to have snuck out of a boring ass movie to go get a hot dog at least once! (R.I.P). You can’t tell me he watched every single one of these horrible accounts of acting. Well, if he did…then I guess I have to as well.

        So, Last week, and the 4 weeks before it sucked. That is the only recap that I can honestly give you. I have no clue what the previews eluded to happening this week. I dont care either. So,

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, DAMN!

        Okay, soooooo I watched it but I wasnt paying attention. The previews bored me to tears and Kita’s fucked up accent made me regret being from the south. It was boring, it was horrible and I still have no clue what the overall gist was suppose to be. Again, as stated, the show started in the bedroom. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! and Kita was babysitting again when last time Tasha didnt like it.  And the engaged couple ended up makingg a big deal about havingg gifts fromexes only to wind up keepin every single one of the gifts.  WHY?

        I still see no point in this show. They dont connect, the plots are independent of one another and it is hella predictable. I am so damn bored of this. I cant even muster up enough energy to get witty with this description. So…. this is all that you will get. Yeh… and if I have to watch it next week, I swear I will slit my wrists. I’ll do it with a rusty spoon, just to prove my point at how painful watching this show is. Okay… just writing this is taking up too much time. I’m not even goin to prrof-read this. So suffer.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Bored Ass Hell Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together~Yes, I’m Still Watching

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Episode 4: Kill Yourself!

 

         For those who think that I care about writing this… my bad, your fault. I wrote this two days ago at the same time I wrote The Game‘s review. So yes, I am still in that “I don’t give a damn” mood. So you better be thankful that I didn’t fall asleep and I chose to write this review. Yes… I said it. AND WHAT!?

        Sooooooo, there is not much connect from episode to episode or much meat within an episode, hence why the last blog was called Kill Yourself. There is a disconnect between shows. They wrap everything up in each episode which means that you can pick up at any episode and get what is going on. There is no real urge to set your DVR to watch previous episodes because you feel like you are missing something and you want to be in the loop. I guess that is a positive that The Game has going for them. For instance, Malik’s arrest has already lasted 2 episodes so you have to watch both to get what happened….that draws in a crowd’s interest. But this one is TOO predictable, which is what I wish would happen with The Game. I know that the show will start in the bedroom and end with the engaged couple stripping. BORING! Give me something.

        One thing that I can say about this show is that it is helping me in my personal life. As I am in the process of directing an upcoming show ( STAY TUNED) and assisting with editing the script… I am learning to watch for believability and continuity. Did we plant the seed for this scene in the previous scene? Did that acting choice make sense? Is this set conducive to what the scene is trying to convey? If we mention children…SHOW THE DAMN CHILDREN!!! Okay… enough of my banter…

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, …….does the show have to start? SHIT! Okay, 1.

I CALLED THAT SHIT!!!!!!! They started in the bedroom…..AGAIN!! Where’s my money, Bitch?! You mean to tell me that they don’t have a TV in the livingroom? They could have gotten a condo or a studio apartment with as much time as they spend in this ugly ass bedroom! I will run in my backyard in my undies for 30 seconds the day that this show DOES NOT start in the bedroom. Hell.. I MIGHT even post it. Keyword, MIGHT. And I mean really… can they stop pretending to act and do!

Wait…. what?! Kita is having sensual dreams about Jamal?

Wow.. what is this little kid’s name? You know, he played in Idlewild as the younger Rooster & Role Models (“This motherfucker tried to touch my hang dang”). Umm…*Google search* Bobb’e J. Thompson. He has grown up so much…kind of… but his voice is still the same. DAMN!!!! he is cock diesel! Why are teens working out like death row inmates these days? Damn…. does he have the Gary Coleman disease? He looks stunted. If he does, then these are all inappropriate jokes that I have already reserved a space in hell for as I continue to laugh while I type. Yep… he made this scene….

I mean really, do you stand 12 feet away from a cabinet to open it and pull that hard? I saw the gag coming a mile away like a DL brother singing Its Raining Men court side at a Laker’s game. This horrible acting and bad plot is killing me. Why am I watching this again? Ohm that’s right… so I can have something to complain about in my already perfectly blessed life! And Kita’s horrible ass dream plots are the PERFECT set up for me to complain all mother loving year-long! Would you EVER admit that you were having dreams about someone’s husband. FUCK NAWL! Sooooooo, we’re back to my point on lack of believability.

Like them working on this cabinet. It would have been believable if they would have put it together properly and then when finished it fell off the wall. I was already able to predict by the way that they were hitting the wall without any nails that this was going to turn out horribly. BE BELIEVABLE WHEN AIMING TO BE UNBELIEVABLE!!!! You play opposites! Isnt that Stanislavski or Uta Hagen, or someone! That is acting 101! I swear it is. I know… I have my Masters Degree in Fine Arts!!! These aren’t just jokes people… I know what the hell I am talking about. Just like how I knew that it would start AGAIN in the bedroom!!!! Jessyca just Facebooked me laughing at the fact that I called it. Hell… CALL ME NOW!!! Is Cleo out of jail?

I predict that… Ummmm. My ball is clowdy…lol. But, I bet you that it is either going to end in the bedroom or with a weak ass striptease. …….Okay, he just walked into the bedroom and woke her up… wait for it… wait for it. BITCH, GIVE ME MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Grade for this episode: N+… and that is ONLY because Bobb’e was on there. Kita’s over acting at the end made me itch… the fact that this show in NO WAY connects to the last show drives me up the wall. The fact that these are realistic yet over exaggerated plots are enough to make me hope in my SUV, take a 15 minute drive, hit Brantwood Drive and blow up BET studios ( JUST JOKES PEOPLE). I am TRYING to make something good of this. I swear I am…. I am begging for the writers to make this feel like a joyous occasion and less of a punishment. Okay… Mo’Nique is on…. I will continue to complain. MY STANDARDS ARE HIGH!!! If you can impress me then you will be a hit. And I know you are thinking, “Who the fuck are you.” And my answer is….. I was thinking the same damn thing about you, except you SHOULD know me! I’m 2Deep, Trick…Google me. Like Komplex says, “I’m Googleable”. And I’m outtie 5000!

Next Week’s Episode: Shit…. I just saw it and forgot it that damn quick…lol. Oh Well, watch it next week.

Sincerely,

~*MyMother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together…. Kill Yourself Ep4

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Okay, soooo I am slow as hell. Queen Latifah is the executive producer of this show. Dana and I literally share a cousin… true shit, put it on my mama….but I have to raise my eyebrow at my distant cousin’s show.

Starting the show off in the bedroom AGAIN!!!!? This is becoming boringly, yes…boringly, predictable. Surprise me! Switch it up in Episode 5…. start them out in the kitchen. Its called Let’s Stay Together and not Let’s Wake up in Bed Together. I mean there is no excitement in this. I promise you I am going to bash this show with no regret if every episode opens with them in bed. Sorry, cuz.

Okay… I actually laughed at the “Big Tooth Bastard” joke…. but is this her real accent or a horrible attempt at a southern accent? My friend told me that they are in Atlanta. I am still looking for a sign that verifies this. And what does the wife, Tasha, do for a living? AND WHAT THE FUCK DO THEIR KIDS LOOK LIKE?!!! Where living children not budgeted for? These invisible children are what is also making this a horrible show for me. They are always in the back room or hidden by a rickety double baby stroller. I am starting to belive that the kid scenario is slowing down the plot. They could have been married without children and then a pregnancy could have been written in later. Something, anything than what they are offering me.

*SCREAM* 15 minutes into the show and I still have no clue what the overall theme of this show is. Is it the engaged couple staying together… or is it that Kita is actually responsible? I have no clue what the tying theme is.

I can’t even laugh at Tichina Arnold. AND TICHINIA IS ALWAYS HILARIOUS!!! And…. I knew a girl whose aunt use to be a stripper and wound up being a minister. Oh LORD!!!! I am bored to tears. Nope…. I am bored to reincarnation. You know I am bored when I notice that Tasha’s roots are 1B and her ponytail is CLEARLY a 2.  Shoot me now…. not even Tichina can save this show. Yall, I zoned out so hard that I started answering emails. I forgot I was watching it on purpose…lmao! What is this, slow ass plot night for BET sitcoms? I’d rather watch Precious & For Colored Girls rape scenes with my eyelids taped open while being assaulted in the butt by the clown from the movie IT than to be put through another week of this hot mess!

YES!!!! *does somersault complete with a split* THE DAMN SHOW IS OVER!!!!

Overall Grade: Z-. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN FROM THAT EPISODE?!!! It was pointless. I can’t get those 30 minutes of my life back. You can rob me, shot me in the forehead….but dont waste my motherfucking time!!!! DONT WASTE MY MOTHERFUCKIN TIME! Especially when I am trying to support you! So, was I suppose to learn to hate on a woman who came into my house and help me out? Was I suppose to learn that pre-marital counseling is pointless? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN?! Oh lawd, hold me back! I want to rant for 30 minutes just so I can feel fucking productive.  I am seriously pissed that I watched that bullshit! Now I need to go and drink after that bullshit! Yes, BULLSHIIIIIIIT!

Dont even fucking ask me to comment on the preview for next week’s episode.Because I’m mad I’ll have to watch it just to blog about it.  *mumbles under breath and hits save*

P.S. Acting 101… play the truth and not the words. What is the intent of what you want to relay? Playing the words are making these people caracitures. I HATE IT! I want to see this show do well, but you’ve GOT to give me something to work with. People who are predicatable are boring as hell! Make the fiancee a doctor who is somewhat proper and geeky but isnt so far out of the loop that itisnt believable. Let her be able to sing opera and not soul. Let Kita…what does she do anyway? …let her be the hood sister but an educated and not the annoying one that you press mute on. There are Soooooooooooo many things that I could change. Just give me TRUTH!!! Not your interpretation of comedy. And Scene! (P.P.S. I’m not proof-reading this post)

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~