Writer’s Block: Tsion the Wordsmith~Miss Valentine

        Okay, so….this topic will NEVER get old to me. It is a topic that is close to my heart. And I can’t say much about it in this intro because it would spoil the read. So…..

        I called in a  favor to a real good friend of mine, Tsion the Wordsmith, and I asked him if he could send me a copy of this poem. Tsion and I slammed on the 2009 Busboys and Poets 11th Hour Slam Team together…and this would become one of my favorite poems. I mean, the way that he sets it up to the way that the story unfolds….beautiful. And of course I plan to tell him this one day… but I dont want his head to get bigger than what it already is. LMAO! But, I called him as soon as I sent out the question for my 200 Men because it was the FIRST thing that came to mind. I wanted local DC, Maryland, and Virginia talent to be showcased for this particular topic. Plus…. I get to expose you all to some of my amazing friends and their talents. I could talk about it for hours, but I would rather you read it first. Enjoy!

Miss Valentine by: Tsion the Wordsmith

It was a Thursday…
and I was on the corner of 14th and Lennox listening to a crackhead preach about how we was all sinners and needed Jesus
now I wasn’t paying him no mind, just indulging his conversation
growing impatient though cause I had my eye on this bar named “Susie’s”
owned by a Jamaican  whose name was…
well, I don’t think nobody really know what his name was
I finished up talking, walked across the street went into the bar
and heard a voice say, “you gonna have the paul mason straight?”
surprised me cause that’s the thing I would drink whenever I went into the place…
then from around the corner walked the prettiest face I had ever seen
if looks were skills then she would have been the captain of the dream team; and the first at that
plus she had a body to match
for real, this woman was a killer
if looks could kill she would be number one on America’s most wanted list
gliding and swaying across this plane; every now and then she would kiss it with her presence

so, she slid up in front of me and said, “I know I surprised you by knowing what you like to cop
but I know you also only come in here on Thursdays and you always sit in the same spot
easy, cause you been coming in here for about six months and two weeks
and I hope its not too conceited but I’m the best looking thing in here and you never once decided to speak
maybe you didn’t notice me cause I was in the antibody crowd and it’s kinda hard to notice anybody when antibodies are hanging
but if anti-bodies are hanging around anybody, it should let you know something is bound to go down
cause antibodies only hang around anybody when somethings going down”
….I didn’t understand one word said; but she told me that was alright cause i would before the night was over
told me her name was Susie and asked, “what’s yours young soldier?”
I told my name was Tsion and asked was she the Susie that ran the place
yeah was the reply and I found it funny cause I would never put that name to that face
she told me it was her daughter’s name and she did it in her memory
“no matter where I go or what I do, she will always be here with me”
so I asked her real name but she brushed me off cause she had other customers to attend to
figured I head through my Thursday ritual of four drinks and head back to the capitol
when I heard “that’s it young soldier, you just gonna speak?
you not gonna ask a pretty young lady out to eat?”
I had a couple dollars to spare so yeah, we could go out for a bite to eat
but before we go, she said she had a couple of her white blood cell buddies she needed to meet
I guess she did some time and her cellys were white
they must cut each other, bonded and became blood sisters for life
so we met up with them and I was still thinking what exactly, what is her name
I asked and with a wicked grin she said “Maylene”
but I figured that really wasn’t her name
but she said if a rose were called by anything else would it still not smell the same…
…true….true…

well, we made it back to my place and before I could the key in the door her lips were on mine
her arms were around my shoulders, and my hands on her behind
the whole time thinking exactly what is the name that her mother gave
I asked her again and she said “call me dominatrix for tonight you will be my slave”
slave to my motion, slave to my track, slave to rhyme, slave to my kat
and it ain’t bother me cause I figured it would be the best I ever had
so when she told me she would be with me for the rest of my life, all I could do is laugh
at my good fortune; saying if only I could believe everything you say as true
she said you can for what I’m about to give you, there is no cure
so jump aboard and ride this ride, but remember lil boy it’s best when you do it rawhide

so we started stroking…
and she wasn’t lying when she said she knew what she was doing
losing my on ecstasy street by the way she was moving
her kitty kat walls
it’s like they grew claws and pulled me in
had my back arching and bending in ways that I never knew it could bend
blending the lines between fantasy and reality until there was nothing left but she and I
and I was trying to maintain composure but it was like with each little stroke I would die
and go to heaven; never wanting to come back, wanting to stay embedded between her thighs
and I figured since I was a real man I had to give her at least 45 minutes of good loving
but after 12 she stroked me real hard and I cried out and filled her with my seed for a thousand tomorrows…

at that point, I was out of breath…
laid my head on the pillow, felt something moving, looked over, this woman was getting dress
so I jumped up, threw on my pants as she was running down my hall
called out real loud “can I have your name and possibly your number so I can give you a call?”
she laughed out loud the biggest laugh I had ever heard in my life and said “little boy, you ain’t been paying attention at all
you don’t need my name or number, imma be with you for the rest of your life; for tonight I made you one of my white blood cell buddies
but if you must know my name is Hazel Irene Valentine…
but you can call me H I V…

 

        So, what’d you think? I thought that this was a clever display of wordplay placed in a realistic setting and hidden behind an obvious epidemic. I think that as a society we have become complacent when it comes to the awareness of the preventable. And not just HIV/AIDS, but in life in general. I love how this was placed from a male’s point of view as seldom do we as a community get the opportunity to hear how men are exposed. This has become a woman’s disease, if you believed the media. They make women responsible for knowing their status. They blame DL brothers for keeping it going. So at what point do we blame everyone for their actions?

        Of course I had to do my own research, so I asked my 200 men what they thought about the topic. And you would die from shock based on what you read. So, come back tomorrow and read what they had to say in 200 Men Said….Get Tested.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

CD Baby: The Diary of a Reluctant Poet

Reverbnation: Tsion the Wordsmith

200 Men Said…. Value of a Black Woman Pt1

       This blog entry is to set the record straight, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!! So, while clowning on twitter ( @_2Deep_) a friend on mine hit me up and wanted me to ask my 200 men a question that has been burning up inside of her. Now, what kind of friend would I be to deny her of a stage?

        She mentioned to me that while out and about at clubs she noticed that several black men were clinging heavily to white women, or women of other races in general, but you never really see them clinging to us black women in the same fashion. THESE ARE HER WORDS AND SENTIMENTS, DO NOT… I REPEAT, DO NOT SHOOT THE MESSENGER!!! So she wanted to know why was this the case. Why are, in her opinion, black men more affectionate and willing to date those who are outside of their race and not do the same for those who resemble themselves? She said it made her feel as if black men did not value black women the way that women of other races were valued. On “some” points I agreed with her. I too think that there are times when black men do not value us as much as they should, but I never looked at it as they value us less than other races. I say this because, I believe that black women are to be valued differently, therefore to compare out value to another race of women is invalid. I say this because majority of the time, the way that men, in general, value other races…a black woman would see as belittling, or would see as weak…which in return causes relationship issues….so this discussion is somewhat invalid. I think this is an in-house problem that needs to be corrected. But, since that was not the issue that was brought to the table, I had to reach out to my guys and ask them to directly answer her question. And let me tell you… the uproar from my guys that came back was a sight to see….but good to see it in ink.

        So I stuck my neck out on the chopping block, because you just know that when you generalize a question or say that you are asking for a friend that automatically makes people think you are asking for yourself…lol. Well, on this one, I really am asking for someone else, but I am learning from the responses as well.  Now, my 200 Men were asked:

Many black women don’t feel as if black men value them. As a black man, do you value black women over other races? Would you date/have you dated outside of your race? Why? Send me a note/message for longer answers.

And they answered with:

• WWW . (dirty) . com: never dated out of my race and never will–i love a chocolate woman…[they’re] so pink inside….. [2Deep: I have absolutely no clue what this means or if this is even a compliment, but at least he loves his black women…lol]
• Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**:I would have to say that I definitely value black women over any and every other race. I have dated outside my race before but I could not say that I have ever considered marrying and spending my life with anything but a black woman. I am amazed at the strength and loyalty of a good black woman once they believe they have a man they can pour into completely.
• Dezi: I love my sisters and i never thought about going outside of my race. And if i do [it’s] my choice as it is the next black man’s or woman’s. Not about race it’s about being happy.
• ”DUKE” BANNER: i would never disrespect my queen. never dated outside my race but im not [racist]
• *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I would never de-valued (lol) a black woman, that’s basically saying i don’t have respect [for] all the strong black women in my family.  I would never put another race over the other.  I haven’t dated outside my race but I’m not ruling that out either.  If i happen to meet someone of different race I’m okay with that.
• !: I value black women over other races but since i have native and european blood way down the lines near the end of slavery I’m open to dating any race. It’s about the person and not color to me…my preference though is a black woman first.
• http://www.twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: It’s definitely not a race issue its a faith issue. I would absolutely date outside my race the heart doesn’t have color. I have dated other races before.
• MR. LOVING: I feel I do & I haven’t had the chance to date outside my race. I wouldn’t mind though.
• Prestige “The One And Only”: I personally believe there is no substitute for a good black woman. If what I’m looking for is found outside my race so be it, but that’s not where I’m looking. As to the value of a blk wmn, I can only see myself valuing her as much as she does herself.
• PIECE OF WORK!! $$PET$ PET$ PET$$$: i do… i love my black women… yeah i would, but depends. why bc i am attracted to physical beauty before inner beauty. but they must have both..[2Deep: Well, ladies at least he is honest. It’s booty before beauty with him..lol]
• KEN: I LOVE BLACK WOMEN..but yall…..lol but seriously black woman [are the] most powerful women in [the] world; ask Oprah and Michelle. black women are beautiful women, just hard 2 get alone wit.so yes, [i value] black woman value over other races…
• Kip S: I do value black women. All of the girls that I’ve dated have been black except 2 of latin origin. I don’t see a problem dating outside of yourself as long as you know who you are and where you come from
• Jamarcus V: i love everything about tha black woman and I don’t do tha outside of tha race thing,mixed is one thing but a whole different race i cant do it
• THE TOTAL PACKAGE: definitely value blk women more cause my moms a blk women 1st and foremost and cuz without blk women life would not exist on this planet!!
• Kycajrome L: I prefer my sistas first over any other ….but yes i have dated outside us, why….I was asked….and decided to try it….
• THIS GUY: WELL ME I LOVE MY SISTERS NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE NO REPLACEMENT IN THE WORLD THERE THE ONLY ONES FOR ME AND NO OTHER RACE CAN REPLACE MY NATURAL NEED FOR BLACK WOMEN. SO I ONLY DEAL WITH BLACK WOMEN. PEOPLE CAN SAY LOOKS DONT COUNT BUT THEY DO
• Henry C: yes i love my black women.
• DEVON B: i love black women
• Lateef25: i love blk women i have only other race i have dated was spanish women
• MYLES C AKA !! Mr.Grown-N-Sexxxi !!: EVERYONE IS TREATED EQUAL TO ME. YES I HAVE DATED OUTSIDE MY RACE MAYBE TWICE, BECAUSE SOME BLACK MEN FEEL THAT A BLACK FEMALE WONT DO A WHITE WOMAN WOULD, BUT IT AINT ALL BOUT THAT

My ALL TIME FAVORITE RESPONSE CAME FROM……….:

• Black Kryptonite aka the KID: black men value black women who value themselves. not the ones who want to rock the labels but not work to get it for themselves. Or women who are looking for captain save her

        PREACH, Black Kryptonite!!! So, I think he flat-out told us that we have to VALUE OURSELVES in order to be valued in return. So, did he just hand the responsibility of placing a value to our worth back into our hands? Well I be damned, I think he did! lmao! So, if we feel that we are not being valued by our men, it is then our place to make sure that we have worth, know it, and place our worth on proper display. I think that it is safe to say that you will NEVER find a Benz dealership in the middle of the hood, so why should you place your values amongst actions that do not match what it is that you think you are worth.  I’m coining the phrase, actions speak louder than worth. How you act will dictate your judgement of your worth and guys can pick up on that. So, correct yourself first.

        Another interesting comment that came from this question came from James F. The discussion turned into a bit of a conversation so check it out:

• James F: yes i value black women i come from a black woman i can never diss or turn my back on them…its ironic you say that cause i feel black men kinda feel the same why about black women but any i digress…but yes i will date outside my race I don’t discriminate..everybody should date whoever they wanna date
• Me: So, you brought up an interesting point. You say that black men feel the same way? How so? Can you explain what some black women do that makes some black men feel as if we don’t value them?
• James F:  i mean Some black women, not all, don’t hesitate to throw black men under the bus…some black women are just black men bashers lets just keep it real…if you’re doing that why would black men feel valued when the first out your mouth is something negative?? it is what it is…its too much of disconnect between black men and women…and it shouldn’t be like that

         So, how do you propose BOTH sides work on fixing this problem? Because SOME of the negativity is based on experience. For instance, I just had this complete stranger (black male) post on my page ” do you skeet or spit when you have sex”. WHAT KIND OF BS is that? I don’t know him. What I shouldnt do is take his stupidity out on the next, but you must understand why I would be guarded, right? So, I propose the question…..how should a black woman place value in a black man? Hmmm… we could go on for hours. Pretty much like my next comment response.

So, in the middle of my responses I received this:

• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: RESPECT is lost amongst us all. Everyone wants the ability to do whatever they want without recourse. We take things and persons for granted with silly talk about this is a new year and a time for change. Yes change is what got us here from when things had more value and respect back in the day. Date outside my race i have before i found my spiritual path and we are not to date a certain kind of people. All this leads to a root of a problem that we are trying to avoid by dealing with the surface on our own regards. Bringing it back to relevance though when RESPECT was lost during this all change is good so will everything else be lost ie honesty, loyalty, communication, trust…..
• Me:I have to be honest…. I am sooooo lost with your response. I get the “respect is lost” part. But can you explain it to me again, but this time slow and act like I’m dumb.
• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: Where are you lost because i can’t begin to correlate until you tell me which point you need clarity. I will do this to help what i think you maybe lost.”We take things and persons for granted with silly talk about this is a new year and a time for change”… What i am saying here is people want the ability to do whatever they desire as they see fit with other people belongings or how they treat or act towards the other person.”Date outside my race i have before i found my spiritual path and we are not to date a certain kind of people”…. Here i am talking about dating outside my race but came to realize that is wrong and only disrespectful to the creator not the person. Its written in the scriptures who we are to date/marry.”All this leads to a root of a problem that we are trying to avoid by dealing with the surface on our own regards”….I am saying here that we that we try to deal with these situation on our own desires/regards or what we see fit to make it work. You don’t have to be spiritual or preacher to see how we are to interact with each other as written. We are so far from the truth that we make our own to satisfy our realities.
• Me: Whooooooooooooooooa Nelly! The Bible doesn’t mention race. But you must be of like and sound mind; equally yoked. A person of aother race ca be equally yoked with you. So how did you figure it was wrong to the creator to date a person of another race?
• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**:Yes it did because he you know your history of where all races came from during the biblical days…you would know of the races it were speaking of because during the bible days race were never used but location where people lived…..Your pastor will not tell you this and that is why you must read the bible and learned its history. Most people just read the bible and think that is it and some don’t read it just recite what was said to them so the knowledge of it is mixed up. YES the bible talks about race….Go find me in the bible where it doesn’t talk about you are not to marry from this place but this place or not to marry from this place and when you DO come across it…. Find out the RACE of people there and there is your RACE…. I am in the dirt of the book your on the surface but you can dig too
• Me: But location and the color of one’s skin is two TOTALLY different things. There are people of all skin hughes who are born in america….So…. amI to see who is a child of Abraham before I accept his proposal in marriage? I understand what you mean, but that does not relate to skin tone. Again, it relates to the belief systems and being equally yoked with persons from different sects. Thee could be BLACK people who are not equally yoked with you who you are not supposed to marry.
• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**:  Your just blurring the lines because you fear of what is being said…I said RACE not skin color….Race in america is skin color but Race outside of here is Location. Native Americans are of different hues but there are located to this country….Asians which is a race and located to their location….Europeans, Alaskian, Somoans, African, and the so on….You want to limit to the equally yoke because you want to date outside of said race….I will do this for you…Provide you scriptures and you tell me where does it rely to unequally yoking….Your trying understand but you just have one part because here in America its Politically correct to use that part but the rest is not and many do not want to create ripples in the waves. I will stand by my creator words and do not fear of people issues due to fear of another’s opinion or comment. Why did Abraham send his servant to another place to find a wife for Issac? Race of people where he was at were not for his son to marry….hmmmmm
• Me:  First off….DONT YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I AM “AFRAID” TO DO….it is insulting & you don’t know me. I’ve never dated out of my race, not that it matters, so to assume somewhat mutes your point.When people cannot stick directly to facts, they often time assume and pass judgement on those who think in opposition….that very move does not make your argument strong. Just stick to the facts.It is the respectful thing to dispute what I say without passing judgement on me for why I think that way. Or do they teach you that in the Bible too?  Can you show me the verse on “thou shalt pass judgement on the person because they disagree with you.”? (This is merely rhetorical, please do not respond)Also,I understood and know the meaning of  RACE. Race is derived from origin and or location….that is one of the definitions of race. Therefore, a white person who is born in Africa has the race of African, and should they move to America, they too will be classified as African-American. Sounds weird, but it is true. Therefore, a person of a different color skin can be classified as being of the same RACE as you. On the flip side, an African-American would be of a different RACE than an African based purely on the definition of RACE, therefore making an African unequally yoked from an African-American. Which leads me back to my original question (part of which is now answered): I now know that you would not date outside of your RACE, but would you date outside of your own darker colored skin category and date a person who would stereotypically be classified as white? As I am NIGERIAN….I am not just stuck to the confines of American ideologies (Again…thou shalt not judge).  Again… my questions are now rhetorical… PLEASE DO NOT REPLY any further.So, I will not pass judgement on you. But I will tell you that the word of God is not abrasive, nor is it rude. We as a people cannot pass judgement or assume and then hide behind the Word. I respect your opinion, although I disagree with its use, but I will never past judgement on you for thinking the way that you do. THAT is what the Word has taught me. Maybe I am reading a different book. Therefore, I will thank you for your comments and ask that you respond no further. Again, your words are greatly appreciated. I pray that you have a blessed day and have an even better 2011. God bless!

        Yes, child…. the conversation went there! I know I am not your typical Bible slinging Christian, but I too believe in the Word, and for some reason it just irks me when people use it to divide. There is always a time and a place for the word and it is only applicable at ALL TIMES when it is used correctly. End of story. I have had two of my HUGEST crushes on white guys. One was on …I think his name was Brian, in my high school Theatre group. Still to this day I have a picture of me sitting on the Shakespeare Theatre Festival steps behind him running my fingers through his hair. The other guy was Matthew and he went to my junior high school in Spokane, Washington. I loved even his glasses. There was something about his spirit that just made me like him. So, you can’t tell me that I can’t love who I choose to love because they are not from the same location as me. Especially when I see God in them. My god-family looks like a United Nations’ meeting; from my black siblings to their asian, white, and Pakistani (sp) spouses and some of the most beautiful children that you have ever laid eyes on…..I beg to differ that this was wrong. I somewhat believe that this is what God intended. But that’s just my opinion.

        So, in closing, I think that the fellas have proven their point…. at least the 200 that I have come in contact with. They all believe that they value the black woman over any other race. But I do not think that it matters. Love is love, and if for some reason you see a white girl with one of our black brothers, wish him well. There was a time when a black man would have been hanged for expressing his love to a person with whom he connected with. That man was not destined for you. Why get your bloomers in a bunch for someone who isn’t checking for you because he wasnt put on this earth for you? Get out of their business and start focusing on your own. You could very well be missing the guy who thinks that YOU are beautiful and it has nothing to do with race. It has nothing to do with him staying with his own kind which rings to the rhythm of a KKK meeting. But it will have everything to do with him loving YOU. Be happy with that. Killing the hopes of someone else’s love is not the most productive thing that you can do. But having faith that a different kind of love, a love between a black and a white, can exist in its purest form should lend hope that love can survive under simpler circumstances. That is my opinion on that!

 Check out what the white & mixed guys had to say about the same topic. Read my other post: 200 Men Said….Value of a Black Woman Pt2 (White Men Speak) <~Click Here to Read

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*

200 Men Said….There They’re but Not Their

        I think I was a grammar teacher in another life and all of the red marks I placed on the homework of  Students of Flunkies Past have come back to haunt me in my current life. lol. No, seriously, I am going to drag this topic through the mud so that we can see what people think about or even know about the English language.

        One thing that tickles me is to open up a note where a guy has written the wrong version of pen ( pin) and has no clue that “an” should not be used as a conjunction. These are the things that raise red flags to me. And when you point them out to help the guy from looking foolish in front of someone else, he curses you out and calls you superficial and stuck-up. I fight back the urge to yell.. “WELL, NEGRO, I CAN SPELL!!!”  But it still bothers me that there are grown men who do not know the difference between these homophones.

hom-o-phone n : a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not, as heir  and air

        The most popular homophones are affect/effect, capital/capitol, to/too/two, pen/pin, then/than, you’re/your, principle/principal, and my all time favorites they’re/their/there. These are the top words in the American English language that get misused on a daily basis. Somewhere along the way a person learned one and not the other, or they learned them both but not the difference between the two.  Often times, the misuse of these words can be as huge of a mistake as that twix commercial where he called his boss Dumb-Ass instead of Due-Mass simply because it was spelled Dumass.

        Each word has its own meaning, although they sound alike, and English speakers must respect that at all times in order to be properly understood.  For example. If I said, “I’m going to the capitol” in an email to my cheating boyfriend, he may think that he had a few days to cheat because the “capital” of our country is hundreds of miles away, rather than the “capitol” building downtown which is only a few minutes away.  When I was younger I learned that “capital” with an A was for places, cities and letters because place has an A in it and A is a letter and a city is a place so it just all runs together that way. Also, capitol with an O is for the building because capitol buildings have the round dome on top.  Or how the principal was never your PAL because he always called my parents about my behavior & how my parents believed in the principle of respect. Other examples are:

Affect & Effect:

The weather didn’t affect the pilot’s ability to land the plane.

Special effects make movies seem more real.

Then & Than:

She ate too much, and then she felt sick.

She ate more than the rest of the people in the group.

To, Too, & Two:

• I drove my children to school in the minivan.
• There are too many people in the room.
• The two boys were always in trouble.

You’re & Your:

• You’re a shining example of a good business person.
• Your writing needs to be the best it can possibly be before you submit it to an editor.

So, 200 of my amazing men were asked:

Many do NOT know the difference between Their, There, and They’re. Can you use ALL 3 words in a sentence? If so, please write a sentence using them correctly.

And by the time my deadline to post this blog came around….. they responded as such:

• Boots: I spoke to Mike and Erica and they’re going to the show tomorrow./Give housing a call, we need to find out if that vacant building is their responsibility or ours./Hey, lets go see why all those police cars are over there.
• “Duke” Banner: hello how are you is ms .story in she over there while you going that way go threw their and get check in .where is the report they’re over here
• Code Name Bigsexy: some 1 is over there.they’re going to the movies and their in my favorite movie
• Live And Love or LAL: Why don’t you do it and stop asking these stupid questions [2deep: Did I mention that I don’t like this asshole?]
•  Mr.Swaggtastikal: A lot of ppl dont knw their place in life. …….why u feel as though I cant come over there? …….They’re are to many ppl in my hose right now.
•  DJ Urban Cowboy: THEY”RE often over THERE in THEIR house, across the street.
• Lateef25: I want to know their location There they go get them They’re always running out of soda at the store
•  Chris C: She was protecting their business. I left the money over there. They’re all guilty. Did I pass?
•  Cut From A Different Cloth: LOL smdh at the fact you are giving people a grammar test on [website] but here you go. Why are you over THERE on THEIR computer giving people on [website] a grammar test ??? Im sure THEY’RE plenty of other productive things you can be doing with your life. [2Deep: I’m sure THERE ARE…but this is much more entertaining to my soul.lmao]
• Don L: lol! english class! I wish I was there with you right now. I promise you their neighbors know my name. They’re going to love my cooking.
• Allen O: So, there they were, showing off thier assets–if you know what i mean–and God knows if they realize the kind of naughty crowd they’re attracting … they certainly got my attention.

My Favorite response came from :

• H.O. R:  TO BE HONEST I DON’T REMEMBER WHICH IS WHICH BUT I NEVER STOP LEARNING

This is my favorite response because he was honest enough to tell a complete stranger that he did not know the answer, but was humble enough to mention that he will never stop learning. SO I sent him a note with the following examples in it:

There, Their, & They’re:

Their house was devastated by the hurricane.

There are twelve eggs in the basket.

They’re happy about their new home.

Their: shows ownership. As in “THEY” own this so it is Their house

There: is a place or location real or imaginary . As in she lives there, right there is your answer

They’re: a combining of the words They Are. SO instead of saying “They Are here”… you would say “They’re here.”

 

But my most eye-opening and inspirational response came from: 
 

• Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**:  There will always be people who believe their way is best, but if they’re incorrect they could lose people they love and care about.

        It helped me to see that I shouldnt judge people just because they don’t know what I know, and I even took the scores off of the guys who responded. I could be wrong… and I don’t want to lose these amazing guys who chose to respond.  I applaud them for doing so and I appreciate them even more. They are helping me teach the world… and they deserve a round of applause for that! * Gives them a literal standing ovation in my office*  My fidora is off to you fellas. I bet you never knew that by answering a question in your free time could help another man, another boy, another woman or girl to understand the difference in a few words.  So, thank you for answering. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

        My original intention in writing this blog was to see how simple words are misused daily and to possibly educate those who misuse the words. It really is a soft spot in my heart for guys and their education. I feel that we spend more time on our girls and not enough on our guys. If I have to do it alone, I will let our guys know just how important it is for them to appear just as intelligent as they truly are. I want them to value education and learning at any age. And I dont say that just because I think that an educated man is a sexy man,but because everyone deserves the benefits that come with being intelligent and appearing intelligent. I dont want opportunities closed to them because they misspell a few words. I know this first hand.When I was a teenager, my cousin’s ex-husband wanted to get a promotion but he misspelled every word he came in contact with so he hired me to re-write his notes and help with his paper. I was more than happy to do so because he is an intelligent man. VERY INTELLIGENT and I am proud of him. And as a person who saw it first hand, just the way he spelled things could have kept him from getting a job that he earned. Sucks, but it happens. Now he has been in that job for years. SO I just want to help, and I hope that no one takes offense to this post. It really is to help. I love everyone… even the ones who dont deserve it…lol.  I’m not even going to spell check my own writing in this one….just to make it fair.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

        In the world that we currently live in, it makes me wonder if real men are standing up and making other males live up to the standards of being a man. And I am not talking about the football coaches who take care of just the guys on their team, or the few men who start the anti-violence and gang programs to keep the kids from hanging with the bad crowd, but I mean the every day gentlemen who would stop a young brother on the street and tell him to pull his pants up. Where are the men from the Civil Rights days who demanded respect just by walking into a room? There was a certain respect and responsibility that came along with being a man in those days, a responsibility that made everyone around you behave in the proper manner so that you all would be taken seriously. I think that somewhere along the line those types of men have gone into retirement and they forgot to train the next generation how to continue the tradition. These men forgot to teach them the purpose behind why being your brother’s keep is so important, not just in the black community, but in all communities.  So who can I blame? Where are these men who were supposed to teach these upcoming men how to behave so that I could continue to be proud of my brothers? Because now….its become the job of the single mothers and women dating these guys to teach them how to behave….and I don’t think it is our job to do so.

        They say that a woman cannot raise a man. If this is true, then where are the men who are supposed to make these boys and other males listen? As a woman I do not have access to the sacred Man Code book, but I do know how to behave in a manner to make a male understand what his boundaries are when he is in my presence. But is that enough? Are the actions of a woman grounded in her morals enough to make a male correct his actions and behave as a man? Personally, I don’t think that women alone can make a male behave as a man. It will take a man living as a man to set a visual and physical example for the male to believe that a woman isn’t living in her own imagination. A male would need a tangible representation standing before him as a cheat sheet on how to be a man in order to become one. I don’t know why it works that way, but it does.

So, 200 men were asked the question:

Are you your brother’s keeper? If NOT, why? Is it your responsibility? Have you ever corrected a male stranger when he was acting like less than a man?What’s your age & State?

        I really wanted to hear the responses from this question. I asked their age and location just to see if the answers would be the same amongst people in the same region of the country or males of the same age bracket. And out of those 200 I posted the responses of the males who responded back to me the fastest.

• ”DUKE” BANNER: IM A MASON, BUT OF COURSE I’M MY BROTHER’S KEEPER ,MY QUEEN. [I] TRY TO GUIDE THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY. (40yrs old/Lousianna)
•  Horace J: Yes, I am my brother’s keeper. If not me [there to] love him, then who will be? I have corrected males and been corrected. I have had ugliness pointed at me for my attempts. I won’t say they were acting less than a man but too aggressive. (39yrs old/New Jersey)
• Aries Brotha: I’m not my brother’s keeper. I’m the younger brother and he is the one that should lead by example. But in all due honest he and I are complete opposites in every way. (33yrs old/Maryland)
•  ……. :  No! I don’t put my nose in other people’s business. (26yrs old/Maryland)
•  Ddouble R: (1) yes i am (2)again yes i have, ( 38yrs old/Maryland)
• H.O. R:  I AM A KEEPER BUT NOT NECESSARILY MY BROTHERS. ITS NOT REALLY MY RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP HIM/HER BUT IT IS ON ME IF I NO INFO AND DON’T REPORT IT. SURE I’VE CORRECTED A MAN FOR BEING LESS THAN ONE. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MY BUT TO SCHOOL FOR PSYCHOLOGY (39yrs old/Georgia)
•  Code Name Bigsexy: sometimes.it has to be something unreal then i would school the young dude. (30yrs old/Maryland)
•  big slim: Yes I am..if the next man is out of line around me then it’s only right for me too step in and put him in his place…I do this almost everyday ( 35yrs old/DC)

And my FAVORITE response came from :

• DJ Urban Cowboy: I feel like its our duty to correct our fellow-man… cause they represent your sex to the human population and when man acts the fool… women and even men think less of the male population as a whole.. (27yrs old/New York)

 

        INTERESTING!!! I find it amazing how majority of the men who responding thought that I was speaking of their literal brothers, as in a sibling and not the metaphorical Biblical Cane & Abel sense. So far age is not really a factor in whether or not these guys would check another male for not behaving properly and neither is location. Interesting. I would have thought that the younger generation would have been the first to say that they are not their brothers’ keeper. But it is across the board that my older gentlemen did not hesitate to put someone in their place.  And just like DJ Urban Cowboy said, we tend to think of the male population as a whole based off of the actions of one individual acting an ass. Sad, yet so true.

        And I have to comment on Aries Brother’s comment. He said that he doesn’t have to be because he is the younger and his older brother should set the example. WOW!!! This form of thinking is why we are where we are. There is ALWAYS someone younger than you who is watching your every move. You may be the younger sibling, but even then, sometimes we older siblings lose our way and if our younger siblings respectfully remind us of who we are supposed to be we can get back on the right track. It works both ways. You’re not just his brother, but you are his brother too. That’s like getting into a marriage and saying what you will and wont do because your spouse is supposed to do something. ALL relationships require equal respect, communication, and responsibility. I know, I have brother who I feel I have been a sister to but don’t feel that they have been a brother back to me. That feeling SUCKS ASS! So, having learned that first hand, it is everyone’s responsibility to make sure that our actions are reciprocated and equal.

        So, since we know that one clown can disturb the class, how can we get these men to become their brothers’ keeper more often? I could write until my fingers fall off or talk until my chocolate behind turns blue in the face, but what are some literal steps/actions that we could take to get them to look out for one another? Maybe we can try to work on the concept of brother. I think if we got people to think of the man sitting next to them as a brother we can get this family feeling back into the communities. And this should go across the race lines as well. Code Name Big Sexy, from above, is white and he gives some excellent feedback. If we all, women included, helped to promote the frame of mind that we could be more productive as the human race if we all helped guide the person next to us in the right direction , maybe…just maybe, we could actually get something accomplished. But….this blog means nothing until others believe it and start acting on it.  I am my brothers’ keeper…..I just hope that he keeps listening to me.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter & My Brothers’ Big Sister*~

Is the Male a Temple?

As I have mentioned before, I have 2 nephews, 4 brothers, and 7 godbrothers…so the plight of man has become a big deal to me. I have no clue why I care so much, but I do. It often times baffles me how we can place so much concern into our women and not instill the same values in our men that would allow them to appreciate those in his girl when he sees them. There is a HUGE disconnect here.

As a girl I was taught to respect my body, make people earn me, and how every guy is not worthy enough to even step next to me. But I don’t think that my male siblings were taught the same things. I know for a fact a ton of my guy friends were not taught the same things. Or maybe they were, but it was for different reasons. Maybe they were taught by their mothers to not be with every girl but only for the purpose of not getting her pregnant or to get a girl of quality pregnant if it should occur. I know this could be an exaggeration, but who knows what is taught in opposition of my feminine training via the Man Code handbook. I just don’t think that our men are getting the same core messages as our girls as we grow up.

We are quick to point a finger and call a guy a dog before we help. Women are excelling in school and in the work place faster than guys and THIS in turn messes with the head of household dynamic. Has anyone else seen the connection? Has anyone reached out? We see guys flashing their private parts in their profile pics, vying to get as many girls as possible to sleep with them in a month, and abusive self behaviors. This saddens me when I see it. I reach out and ask the guy what makes him do this, why does he think this behavior is appropriate and many times I don’t get an answer.  SO I decided to ask my 200 men directly to see what they think.

200 men were asked:

Do you, as a man, feel that you were taught to value your body, treat it as a temple, or to make people earn you? If not, do you think those things are important to you? Or are they meant only for women?

As usual, I wish I had the patience to copy past 200 responses, but I don’t… so here is what some of them said:

1. big slim: I LUV ME..AND MY BODY MEANS EVERYTHING 2 ME
2. Bear0007: It is meant for every one love, God gave us these bodies to be his temple and treat it as such.
3.  Black Kryptonite aka the KID: I think as a black young male, we are taught that are bodies will get us far in life whether with sports or women. It is important to maintain a healthy body for a long life.
4. Sybree B: I feel that a man and a woman should treat their body as their temple because it shows how they actually feel about themselves.And it shouldn’t matter as long as you have self-confidence..
5. Code Name Bigsexy: only for women.as a man you were never taught to do any thing [so] your body tells you [to] go get it if you like it.i think
6. Ddouble R: (1) yes in many ways like tatts and Piercing they’re all good but why mess with perfection? it tells people you like how you look, so handle me with care. (2) no that’s dealing with everyone….. goes both ways….
7. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well i was raised by a Single mom and Sisters, the values that were instilled in me was that i should treat my body with the utmost respect and shouldn’t be desecrated. So i have very high value for my body.
8. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Although these things were taught to me they are not taught to the majority of males… Society teaches that boys will be boys. They are important to me but it all depends on your background
9. James M: I wasn’t taught to value my body in a traditional way like at home. I only learned those things when I started playing sports at high school and college levels. Learning to eat right and stay in shape is something everyone can benefit from.
10. Eric R: yes, i was taught to treat my body like a temple.
11. James L: I had to learn to value my temple. I was taught by my mom to be a good person. When I started reading the bible it taught me to honor God with my body. It’s very important to live a balanced life. Men should stand strong just like women should.
12. Chris C: Never really thought about it…some good food for thought!…I’ll get back to you on this one!
13. Aries Brother: For the first part of this question..No I wasn’t. It is something I learned myself as time came and went. I do feel it is important to be conscientious of what we put in our body. But we don’t always want what is good to, and [good] for us in this life.
14. Dezi: I was raised to always value my body and when you do my body(temple) will display itself so society will see it. And yes I believe men should be earned and not compromised. Also the Male body was always for the WOMAN to enjoy.
15. Jeff C: I think I was taught that but I have learned .

 

The one thing that sticks out to me is that just about EVERY guy thought that treating his body like a temple meant to feed it right and to work out. Not one thought about the sexual aspects and the access that they give people to their bodies. There is a disconnect here. Why are our young men not receiving the message that they too are worth the wait? Why are they not making these chicken head girls work for them? Why is the easy was desired over the road less traveled? Dont they know that the road less traveled is a gold mine full of prime self-respect real estate just waiting for people to come scoop it up? Not one really mentioned that they stick to such strict guidelines as the girls do. We’ve got to change this!!!!! We’ve got to produce better boys that will become better gentlemen and then on to be better Men period!!!! I think I just found another one of my life’s calling by starting this series. I’m here to help my fellow man! I’m okay with that, because the better they are, the better the world will be!!!!

~Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

“Same”phobic Homosapiens

        I am very much a , pardon the expression, “Fag Hag”. Yes, I simply adore the LBGT community. I don’t judge. And if you read my blog entry called “I’m Not A Lesbian, but I Played One in College”  (<~Click to read) then you would know just how close this subject is to my heart. I feel like I’m an honorary LBGT crusader. And I have tons of friends who are out, many who are not, and others who I think are but may not feel comfortable expressing that side of themselves to me because they may not know where I stand. Well, I stand on the side of understanding. I understand that we all have things about us that others may not like, but it shouldnt stop us from being who we are as long as it doesn’t harm us or others. There. That is my stance from now until eternity. Besides, what you do in your bed room is none of my business, just as what I do in mine is none of yours…..but I’m sure we’ll love each other just the same in the morning no matter what occurred behind close doors or on kitchen counters. Just let me know before I eat at your breakfast nook. Thanks.

        So, Biblical references to the side momentarily… yes I said put it to the side for a moment. Because if you lived by every word in that Bible you would still be a virgin. SO HUSH IT UP! You point at other people’s faults and I will point at yours. Yep, tit for bigot! Where was I? Oh yes, with all religious views to the side, let’s get to the core of this issue. Why are most people afraid of homosexual men. How odd how men don’t mind two lesbians going at it but something about the fiber of them cracks every time a homosexual man holds another man’s hand. Why is that? If they are not bothering you or trying to convert you ( against popular belief you can not be converted…unless you already wanted to be…lol) why is it any of your concern who they choose to love? I read in a medical article how the female body begins to attack the male fetus because it sees the testosterone as an outsider, or virus even, and begins to try to balance the high levels of testosterone with estrogen. This is extremely prevalent in women who have multiple sons. This raises the chances of the younger son being more feminine that the others. I think that could be true because our bodies have a way of protecting its self. So you know what they say, God doesn’t make mistakes. I know I said to leave the religion to the side, but I had to say it.

So, since many women are gay friendly, I had to ask my 200 men for their opinion. 200 men were asked:

Why do you think so many men are homophobic if they’re secure in their manhood? Please be RESPECTFUL when answering. I’m not asking you to judge the lifestyle but rather why men respond to the lifestyle so negatively. Thanks.

And some of the 200 responded with :

1. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: I think men have the same reasons [for being] homophobic [as] people [have for being] racist or fearful of most things… just a simple lack of understanding and no willingness to understand. Insecurity, I’m sure plays a major role
2. Kenneth H: No real [man] likes homo. It is what it is. Sorry, I’m from the old school (,2Deep: So there were no gays in the old school? lol)
3. Erik B: i don’t know. but i know for me, someone’s preference has nothing to do with my lifestyle. so i can’t speak for someone else.
4. Truly Blessed with Love: Dont think its homophobic. I truly think that they aren’t secure in their manhood and I personally don’t need to [have] some gay man around me for a woman to say, “oh he’s secure about his manhood.”  if [you need] something like that to prove that you are then you really [weren’t as] secure
5. Code Name Bigsexy: i feel like that lifestyle is pushed on straight people.in movies and in life.its made like straight people are the 1’s who are out the norm.i don’t like the fact that its public. as a father how do you tell your kids whats going on??
6.  !: Because it’s a very taboo lifestyle, especially in the black community. Str8 men are that way b/c they don’t want women to think they are homo’s, which is bad for them and their love life….If you see a str8 man with a homo, you would be suspect too.
7.  H.O. R: [I] PERSONALLY WONDER WHY PEOPLE, IN GENERAL, ARE SO NEGATIVE THESE DAYS ….PERIOD. BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,  I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE GAY OR WHATEVA JUST DON’T DISRESPECT ME AND WE’RE GOOD. AND JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AND THEY WILL GET RESPECT
8. DJ Urban Cowboy: People are always paranoid of the unknown. They are homophobic because they have not taken the time to understand the culture.
9. Young fresh to D: that’s a good question. i think some men can’t handle homos in any form but everybody is different
10. Jay S: they are really not homophobic. we just can’t deal with being hit on by another male
11. Lost in my own mind: it is possible that it could be [the way] they were raised or brought up in [their] household. Mainly, i blame media because the media makes it seem as if you become friends with a person that possesses those qualities [then] you will become gay or end up doing [homo]sexual things
12.  Trayvon S {Men Of Respect}: men are homophobic ’cause [the] world tells you that being gay is wrong. and people see a man talking to a gay man [and] thinks he is gay. so men that are straight [don’t] associate with them.  personally, i don’t care about some one being a homo,cause i love women
13.  Live And Love or LAL: This goes against nature, and God himself. Man [was not built for] sexual activity with another man but with a woman. that’s why God gave us two different sex organs to compliment each other.
14. Conscious 1: ooh lawd.  Well to answer you most recent question.  I think homophobia has been poorly defined by the portion of the gay community who has a political agenda.  One can’t want the right to express themselves and their lifestyle then block those who disagree with it.  They demonize their own existence by using the negative stigma of homosexual men and either stating a man who isn’t a homosexual has a phobia or is secretly gay.  A phobia is a fear.  A disagreement is not synonymous nor is it a measuring rod of ones manhood. 
15. Bryan P: well to be real [some] guys are real homophobic because i think they have something to hide in [their] closet … and i would never judge [someone] over their choice of who they like …
16. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I don’t think a lot of guys are homophobic. a lot of guys become defensive if a gay guy tends to venture his way or try to hit on the straight guy. I have been hit on by a gay guy and i got mad because he [doesn’] know me, so don’t come at me like that……
17.  Young ’84 T2G: people in general don’t like what they don’t understand. I can’t speak for every man but I don’t judge anyone for what they decide to be [with] or do. Most men I know though don’t understand how a man can be interested in another man.
18. Aries Brotha: The fear that whatever makes homosexuals function will [be passed] on to them by touch, close proximity, or association. Fear is such a powerful weapon and the bible, media, and everything we read and write tells us/conditions us to believe it’s wrong.
19.  Kip S: I will answer this as a non homophobic man. It is a pride thing. With excessive pride comes ignorance, which leads to the typical homophobic man. If we don’t understand it, we look at it as a disease.
20.  ”DUKE” BANNER: they just don’t understand. they think [that] all gay men want them. but if you’re like me ,not gay,[you don’t] give them no reason to think that they can approach [you] in that way. no im not homophobic
21.  P Reddz: PERSONALLY,IAM JUST AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY.NOW I MUST ADMIT IT DOES TURN ME ON WHEN ITS 2 WOMEN, BUT MEN [ON] MEN, UH UH.ITS JUST WRONG.I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR RIGHT TO DO AS THEY PLEASE. I DONT GO AROUND HARRASSING AND INSULTING GAY PEOPLE..
22.  Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: It’s an Abomination of the life. It [means they] cannot procreate which is part of our natural design by the creator. Any support of it is telling the father to go to hell.
23. Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Well Real Men Hate Folly n foolishness [and] Try 2 Line Up the Spirit With The Word… Then Also Sum Might Be Fakin N They Like Dat Foolishness But Dnt Wanna Be Judged.. It’s All Types Of Excuses Y!!..Anutha One Is It Might Touch On the Ego, Which No Man Likes
24.  Steven C {{QB}}: The better question is …ask God why he Hates it so much? (2Deep: I asked, I didn’t get an answer back yet. I checked the Bible, too. Nothing in red ink stating this fact either. Next time you talk to Him, please tell him to call me so that I can be put on 3-way for this discussion. I’d appreciate it.)
25.  …….: Maybe they vehemently disagree with it

And my favorite response came down to:

• Horace J: Phobic/phobia in simple terms “a fear of; a desire to avoid”… I don’t believe men have a fear of male homosexuals the latter part of the simple def “a desire to avoid activities”, yes. It deals with a vulnerable state we only express with. women.

        I felt almost as if I had to respond to some of these remarks. Kenneth H said that ” no real man likes a homo”. SO based on the definition of homo, which means same or of likeness, he is saying that no real man likes the same. The same what? The same person who loves the same way he does? Someone who has the same philosophies as he does? I have this haiku that I wrote that says:

I wish you were gay

So you can take it like a

Man, you punk ass bitch

        Everyone rolls into laughter when I say that poem. But I honestly think that it takes a REAL man to go against the grain of what everyone else thinks he should do just so that he can remain true to himself at all times. And if that requires him to love another man….then you have my full support and my understanding. Because I understand what it can do for you to morph to try to please everyone else. It’s not healthy. If its wrong, then it is wrong. No one will be cleared of all of their sins unless asked to be forgiven on their death beds. So while here on earth. I accept everyone for their faults. If they tithe, if they love thy neighbor, if they don’t kill or steal, or covet their neighbors… I’m pretty sure that they are on the right track and the rest of us are sinning by having sex PERIOD! It doesn’t matter who you have sex with, the sin is sex before marriage. End of story. So… that explanation is also my response to Live and Love or LAL. I’m doing what your screen name says I should do. I am living my life and I am loving everyone, even those who are not like me. Or does your name not apply to the homosexual community? Not an attack… just wondering. And yes, God gave us organs to compliment one another….please spread the word to your STRAIGHT brothers who enjoy engaging in anal sex with a woman. Or does that not constitute as a complimentary entrance? Does oral sex count as a complimentary entrance….or should we just stick to missionary? And based on what Steven C {{QB}} said, I just have to shake my head. How quick black men are to forget that not even a full 2 centuries ago slavery ended, and even during the civil rights and still today there are Klu Klux Klan members shouting that God made the white man ruler over all other races. They used the Bible to control those that they were afraid of and a culture that they didn’t understand. Are we REALLY gonna use the same backdoor pew hatred? And even if there were documented proof that God said, which would be signified by red ink, that homosexuality is wrong it still wouldn’t be right to condemn one sin by being hateful and breaking other laws of God at the same time.I started this topic just because I was curious, but now I am saddened at the divide amongst humans.  I understand the connection to the church, I do and I love the Lord….he created us all and I believe that my role is to love EVERYONE. If I live my life according to his will and set an example for others, then they will come to God and HE will be the one to make any changes that he sees fit ( if any at all are needed). I think we as human beings have taken on God’s role far too much and have in turn tarnished his name by doing unjust things in it. I cannot and will not pass judgement (throw stones) or hate in JEsus’ name just because one minister quoted a verse in the Bible that he takes to be condemning homosexuality. Again, I will love, preach the word without judgement and people will come to know that God is a loving God and feel more welcome in His house. I have faith that God is still God and he can do more than I ever could, therefore I will continue to love and promote his word without hate, judgement or condemning actions. That’s my truth, and I’m sticking to it.

          Code Name Big Sexy says that he feels that the gay lifestyle is pushed on straight people, but I feel it is the other way around. I think that since people THINK that heterosexuals are the majority and are the right way to be heterosexuals push our lifestyle on to homosexuals. People are losing jobs, can’t protect our country or serve in our churches because we are pushing our sexual ideals on to them. A heterosexual isn’t losing their job because they didn’t turn gay. A heterosexual isn’t getting chained up to fences in Wyoming because they didn’t turn gay. (R.I.P Matthew). And yet heterosexuals feel as if the homosexuals are forcing themselves into our way of thinking? They are merely asking to be accepted as humans and treated fairly. And as a father, you should want your child to know that there are people who are different from you and them, but do so in a way to explain how your morals are set  up and not to teach hate. This form of communication will also open the window for your children to feel they can come talk to you when they have questions. It is a dialogue.  And that leads me to Jay S. Honey, you are a nice looking man, I agree, but every gay man does not want you nor will they hit on you. I GUARANTEE you that one of my gay friends could kick it with you and you would never know he was gay and never once would he hit on you because you are not his type. We have to get away from the stereotype that all gay men hit on every straight man. That is the HUGEST fallacy in the world! They are human. They like football, they look like some of your homeboys. All gay men are not feminine and switch their hips. So let’s get that out of our heads. Unless you want them to hit on you, then I support you too ( JUST KIDDING!!!).

        I think that the culture has to change in order for everyone to feel comfortable to be themselves. We have to change the way we think. They once thought that the earth was flat, the sun revolved around us, and that Tupac was dead, and we all know the truth now…don’t we? We have to have open minds to learn what is different from us. It is about respect, acceptance, and community. Gay is just a label that a label-giving society gave a group of people. How ironic that gay means happy.  I wonder what it would be like if we all could be happy just the same. Because from where I sit, we’re just scared of the unknown… and I don’t want to associate with a bunch of scaredy cats; No Homo(sapien). lol.

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT SO THAT WE CAN KEEP DISCUSSIONS LIKE THIS GOING!!!! I’m gonna stop writing if people don’t start leaving comments here on my blog!!!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Freak in the Street, Lady in the Sheets?

 200 Men Said…. #1       

        As a woman who is open about more things than people either think I am or would expect me to be, I have come across the double standard of being a woman and publicly talking about sex. When I stand on stage and present my comedy, people always laugh and often times a guy will step to me inappropriately afterwards based on what I mentioned. It made me wonder….do guys automatically think that the way I discuss sex in public would be the way that I behave in private? If so, then I may never talk about sex in public again.

        I am a very private person when it comes to my own sexual experiences, but I LOVE to talk about sex and its effects in a public setting. Conversation about the topic keeps me on my toes and it makes me analyze the views of others. I can see how my morals and philosophies measure up to someone with an entirely different background than myself. It is a source of freedom to talk about something that I keep private. It’s like a boys’ high school locker room, I too can talk about shit I’ve never done. I watch TV, I listen to the radio, and I have heard other people’s conversations….I would have to be dumb, deaf, and blind to not know the different aspects of sex, but that doesn’t mean that I have done those things just because I talk about them. The responses I get because I talk about them almost feel like a punishment for being so free, and then it doesn’t feel like freedom any more.

        I know that ALL males are not like the asses that come up to me, but there are more that are than those who are not and the squeaky wheel gets the oil, right? So, I went online to a sight that I visit and I asked 200 guys the following question:

“If a woman openly discusses sex in public, do you automatically assumes she is sexually open in the privacy of her bedroom? If so, Why? “

        The responses were varied, yet it gave me an insight as to what a different array of males would think about the topic. Of course I cannot put all 200 responses on here but I picked the ones that I felt my ladies could get the most from. Here is how they responded:

1. Coleman:  There is a particular idea that a woman who speaks about sex, politics or religion in public is not a lady. Very archaic at best! I believe that a woman who speaks about sex in public intellectually and candidly is a woman who is open-minded.
2.  James F: no..most of the time women that talk about it don’t be about it…the really sexually open women discuss that privately with their partner and they just do their thing behind closed doors..she’s not gonna put her business on front street
3. cdub7804: yes, because it would be foolish to clam up in private
4. Ddouble R: no, i think that just means she’s open-minded.
5. Aries Brotha: Not really. It has been my experience that some women just enjoy being open about sex, and sexuality. Sometimes it’s all about exchanging view. On the other hand it could be a test to see how mature the man is and what he is willing to open up about.
6. Dezi: No because conversation is conversation. Why Assume when you can just ask.
7. KP: No not at all. Just because you have a sexual discussion with someone doesn’t mean you want to sleep with them. Same rule applies in my opinion.
8. Chuck K: Good question. I can say yes I would assume she’s sexually open in the privacy of her bedroom because talking about sex openly in public is saying to me she’s a confident woman and she knows what she wants. On the other hand she could be talking just to be talking
9. Code Name Bigsexy: i would assume she is sexual and the fact that she would talk about it in public would make me think that she is an open book kinda woman
10. Distinguished: No not at all. Sometimes a woman throws the topic out there to see who bites.
11.  DJ Urban Cowboy: Not always… usually the ones that are the most open in the public are the hardest to get behind closed doors
12. big slim: Yes because she is discussing it in public but its cool because I’m a very understanding person
13. Black Kryptonite aka the KID: i wouldn’t assume that. sex is a common topic discussed among men and women. It would not only depend upon the nature of the discussion but how she addresses the topic as well. Who am I to judge?
14. Delonte M: If she’s alright to talk about pussy, ass, penetration,etc. in public amongst strangers to hear. Why the hell wouldn’t she do everything she’s saying (and more) in her privacy?
15. Anthony F: No I don’t. conversation is a lot different from actions.
16. Black Griff: she better be

And my FAVORITE answer to the question came from:

1. Cut From A Different Cloth: It depends on conversation, If you reveal a lot then, yeah, people are going to think you’re sexually open. The key is to tell enough without telling all. Some women don’t know how to keep the mystery.

        So, judging by Cut From A Different Cloth’s answer, it is okay for women to talk about sex openly, but it is the amount of information that is divulged during said conversation. I would think that it would be safe to make generalized comments about oral sex, and positions, etc…but personalized statements should be kept to a minimum unless you want guys following you home to see your kinky swing hanging in your kitchen. All in all, men are visual. We say something and they see it…the sex hormones get to raging and it is all down hill from there. So we have to take part , as women, in the responsibility of what information gets out there and not blaming it all on the men who sometimes respond inappropriately. Like CFADC said…..keep the mystery. That is a lesson that even I will take to the bank.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~