So, I have to admit…I didnt watch this last season. My life was so hectic that I didnt even know how to set the sleep timer on my TV. lol. So, when I was searching for something to blog about, this show was right at the top of my list. Yes, I too thought that Lisa Raye McCoy deserved a chance to be put under my microscope. I will TRY to be as respectful as I can be……but if she is the Real McCoy, then I am the Real Deep! Leh’ Go!
Take 2 in , 4, 3, 2, , 2, 2, 2 PlayersClub!
Okay… I want to look like Lisa does ….right now! Wait… did she just get bussed in the lip!? hahahahahahahaha Sorry… that just racked me up! And just to call a spade a spade, honey your ass was on the cover because you took the picture of your ass.
Damn, white is her color. I am loving this dress. Okay, just watching a woman 10+ my senior looking better than me is enough to make me go running. Fuck this blog I need to hit a treadmill!. And hell, even Jackie Reid is beautiful. *sigh* Black doesnt crack, but it can split and dry up. lol. I need to get on my Lisa Raye beauty regimen.
Okay, I am not use to the setup of her show, but what is up with the interview version of the intro? Okay… I am going to Puerto Rico for my birthday. I know I said Australia, but Lisa Raye is making it look like I might want to go. Damn, her daughter Koi is gorgeous too! Damn, her hotel room looks like a fucking house!!! And, fuck me if I am wrong, but does she have mixed matched luggage? BEcause shouldnt all of luggage be Louis Vutton? I’m just saying.
Okay, so I do understand being upset about being upset about a missing bag. But I have a problem with Lisa Raye saying that everything that makes her “her” was in that bag. I wish that I could have a way to tell her that she needs to stop saying that. There are teens that are watching he say that who feel that they cannot be “themselves” withought jewelry or other items. As beautiful as she is… honey you were Lisa Raye before you had that Louis Vutton luggage, etc. But I am glad that they are praying about it. My concern remains the same….I need her to think differently about that statement. It is JUST a bag, you can replace everything in that bag. It may not be the original, nor will it be the same, but you have to be able to let things go in order to make room for new things to enter into your life.
I guess I dont understand the whole personal assistant aspect of this. I have two personal assistants, and when I call on them…they ASSIST, they dont do for me. So maybe I would need to be richer to get to a status where I dont have to sight over my own property. Again, I would have to figure out where she is coming from. Like I am trying to figure out her praying to Saint someone….. Girl, just take it to the LAWD!!! Though shalt not…ok this is a blog and not a church sermen, but you feel me.
Okay, I understand being happy.. but crying and feeling that your family didnt have your back because she misplaced your LUGGAGE? I understand the pillow, I do. But FUCK THE JEWELRY!!!! I am sitting here trying to wrap my head around this. I am trying to understand clinging to material things. Okay, I will get off of it. Second episode [The Real McCoy~ Take 2, Literally]is coming on!!!
I searched high and low for a song that I thought would speak of a woman’s worth that was not sung by Maxwell or Alicia Keys. I also wanted to mix that with a song that sang of an appreciation for an independent woman who was not put to a rap beat or came within ten feet of Destiny’s Child or Ne-Yo. So one day, listening to my Rhapsody playlist I came across one of my favorite singers, Lyfe Jennings, and his song Hero. Eureka! This is what the juggling of one’s balls must feel like… because I got a great feeling in my happy place when I heard this song. I thought…. this is as subliminal of a message as you can get when it comes to being an independent woman.
Tomorrow you will get to read my blog about what 200 Men Said…. An Independent Woman’s Place [<~Click Here to Read]….but today I wanted to celebrate her. I wanted to celebrate the independent woman free of a bitter bitch anthem and really vibe out to her without even saying the words “independent woman”…well, outside of this intro. Because a REAL independent woman does, a wannabe shouts about it. You will NEVER hear a REAL independent woman claim the title, but everyone else will call her one. It is in the core of who she is and everyone around her can feel her independent power and never feel negated by that power. And I wanted to celebrate her with a Lyrically Speaking song that many may not have heard;I think that Lyfe did a wonderful job in capturing that.
I see the opening of the video very reminiscent of a Superman meets Clark Kent moment. She should start in her Clark Kent stage with her hair down, cute little house dress via Victoria Secrets. Nothing kinky looking but short and regular but still seductive in nature. Think, her wearing his button-up or his college football jersey, etc. The shot should be Lyfe sitting at the kitchen table finishing off dinner as he starts singing and then gets up to put his plate in the sink walking directly up behind his “Hero”. And he should grab her and maaaaaaybe give her a pelvic thrust on the last line.
Verse 1
Superman can’t cook chicken like this, (this)* And Wonder Woman can’t french kiss, (kiss) Aladdin only gave me one wish (wish), That’s yo body
She playfully pushes him away and starts to back up because she knows where this is heading. Lyfe follows and presses her up against the wall just as he says the last line.
Spiderman don’t forgive me when I’m wrong, (wrong) Batman don’t look good in that thong, (thong) Catwoman don’t keep me rock this long (long) That’s yo body
Then I think that he should stay still as she leaves from under him. He then turns and leans on the wall where she once was as there is a speed reel like in Adam Sandler’s movie CLICK where he presses fast forward and everything but him speeds up. His “Hero” is shown getting the kids ready for extracurricular activities like football and karate practice, leaving to take them and returning. Leaving to get groceries, and returning with bags. She drops one in fast mode and “Regular Speed” Lyfe catches the bag and sets it on the counter. She’s even seen cleaning the house and putting the kids to bed before it comes back to regular speed as she is closing the door to the kids’ room; throughout this Lyfe is walking regular speed.
[Chorus:] It’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) it’s an angel down here With no wangs, it’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) short shorty It’s the hero song everybody sing along. You are my hero (hero), you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name, The greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away. You are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray, The greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away.
She is seen walking seductively down the hallway headed towards Lyfe who is sitting at a keyboard. She places a bowl of soup on the table next to him right before she straddles across his lap and they are looking into his each other’s eyes before they kiss. Lyfe picks her up and walks over to the bed and gently lays her down as the shot pans beyond him to the window to watch the sky change from night to day.
Verse 2
Wolverine can’t cheer me up when I’m sad, (sad) Captain America can’t slow dance, (dance) Hulk can’t make a boy feel like a man (man) That’s Yo body
Aguaman can’t work a job with two kids, (kids) Iceman can’t cook soup when I’m sick, (sick) Wonder Twins don’t know how to work this stick (stick, stick) That’s yo body
[CHORUS]
It’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) it’s an angel down here With no wangs, it’s a bird, (it’s a bird) it’s a plane, (it’s a plane) short shorty It’s the hero song everybody sing along. You are my hero (hero), you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name, The greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away. You are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray, The greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away.
As the view pans back out Lyfe is laying in bed by himself asleep as she walks into view fully dressed for work but now she is in Superman mode; hair in a bun, power suit, and heels with brief case. She shakes him and walks out of the room. Now every shot her “Superman” outfit changes. She gets to the hallway to call for the kids and she looks like a Doctor, walks into the kitchen to hand them their lunches and she now looks like a police offer. Walking to the front door she looks like a waitress. By then Lyfe has made it there and given her a kiss and as the shot goes to her pulling back from the kiss in front of the open door.The next shot is her outside as she closes the front door to head to the car as a pregnant stay-at-home mom.
Up and away (up and away) off to work she leaves, back at four thirttttttty, we’ll make love till we fall asleep, when we wake up, she’ll put on that cape again, me and my hero, me and angel, me and my girl and my best friend.
Lyfe goes into the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of cereal and walks into the family room and sits on the couch during this next few bars.
You are my hero (hero) you don’t need a costume everybody knows your name, the greatest hero (hero) you can make me feel good even when your miles away, you are my hero (hero) you can make the sun shine even when the sky is gray. the greatest hero (hero) one kiss from your lips and all my troubles fly away. (yeah)
Just as he sits, his “Hero” is seen walking into the house with the 3 kids running past her, no longer pregnant. She stops in the doorway and she undoes the bun in her hair as Lyfe calls her into the family room where Captain America & Friends is on TV. She is now back in the same mode that she was in at the start of the video; loose hair, glasses, and comfortable cute house dress with footy socks. She sits down & cuddles next to him and he hands her the bowl of cereal and wraps his arms around her as the song goes off.
Shorty this the hero song, everybody sing along Shorty this the hero song, everybody sing … Shorty this the hero song everybody sing along, Shorty this the hero song, thank you for singing along
Yeh…. if I had a say so in the video…. that is EXACTLY how I would direct it. I think it tells a tale of how the every day woman can, in fact, be a hero. These are the unsung independent women that don’t seek praise nor boast about their independent power, but they are independent women just the same. I don’t know Lyfe’s intentions when he wrote the song, but I am in LOVE with it. It is my own personal anthem because this is the kind of woman who I am and would like to continue to be. So, I salute Lyfe for this song and I salute the true independent women who don’t apologize for being the women that they are because they don’t have to. And that is said without attitude or pride. Dont get that confused with the need to shout your independence from the mountain tops running all the good men away. Or feeling that you need to shout it to get a strong man to want to be with you. Trust me, wannabes…..if you shut the fuck up… he will come. lmao! And that is all I have to say about that.
These are gonna be the longest 3 years. But we’ll be here waiting for your return Lyfe. God bless!
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P.P.S. If you are on the homepage, Click on the title Lyrically Speaking to go to the actual page.
I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard this song. I was on the phone with my high school sweetheart after about a year of me not speaking to him. He was back at his old tricks of trying to get me to fall for him all over again. He told me to check out this song, and I had never even heard of the artist, much less the song….but I said that I would. And I did. Loved it. Thought that I should burst out into singing “Killing Me Softly” because Urban Mystic was telling my whole life with his words.
This song has that high school feel. That, “talking on the phone all night or at least holding the phone as you fall asleep” type feel. This song just oozes the rekindling of an old flame. This is NOT the song you need to play while you are engaged to your future wife ( just saying) lmao!. But it does have that “tug on the heartstrings of hopeless romantics who cant wait to be with their first loves just once more” type feel.
The intro is enough to make you call everyone in your black book and make individual appointments. lol
Intro:urban(woman) yo baby (what?s up) what we had was so special (yea I know) what you doin now (left my man back at the 9 to 5 just trying to make things work) Yeah, I never thought I?d see you again (and I never thought I?d see you again) yeah, (what a coincidence) well that?s how things happen (yea I know, I wanna have you just one more time) But you know what (what’s that) You know what?s odd (what is it)
Her tone is just begging for him to come and get it. It’s almost as if she planned for them to meet again. Like she searched for him and put herself in a place to be strategically found by him. I’m not mad at her. I would do the same damn thing…lol I mean, how simple is the intro? But this is about as kinky as Teddy Pendergrass talking over a track. It says “Get those panties off… TAKE ‘EM OFF!” lmao.
Verse 1: What are the odds of me bumping into you again (one in a million) What are the odds of me seeing my first lover friend (two in a million) It’s been two years since we both graduated, I still can feel how we both celebrated I can’t get over your voice on my phone, we’ve been apart for so long.
This takes me back to that time when you locked eyes with the person that you love after being apart for so long. Or even the thought of them that sends chills down your spine and ends at your happy place. I mean really… they had to have been something special that without even touching you or being in the same room with you they can make you smile and head towards a cold shower. What are the odds of every person doing that to you? Zero in a million.
Chorus: So I refuse to wait, my patience is out the door baby I refuse to hear you say, u don’t want me no more baby I refuse to blame, you for anything – me for any thing lets not take finding each other in vain, its not a coincidence baby
Obviously, all is forgiven or they are just that horny. lol. I mean he is not even wanting to hold a grudge. I mean she has GOT to have kryptonite in her panties to get a man to go out on a limb like this. I’m still having a hard time trying to figure out if this is love or lust, but in the moment of passion I don’t think that it really matters, now does it? lol
Verse 2: Remember we use to sneak off when your mama dosed off Hit the back seat of my Chevy fog up the windows Made love to sweet lady our favorite song kept it moving slow and steady to the tempo Then we would lay there and hold on to each other like there wasn’t a tomorrow I can’t get over your voice on the phone, we’ve been apart for so long
LMAO!!! See parents….THIS is why you should equip your child with house arrest ankle bracelets! lol. Teach your girls that leather burn is a hoe’s tattoo…lol. This verse in and of itself just keeps me cracking up! It is so romantic, and so serious, yet hilariously funny because someone , somewhere has done some…if not all..of this at one point in time in their life. And there he is remembering it all years later. See…if you got that Good Good ladies they will always remember. Better yet, he will admit to cuddling!!!!!!! Chorus repeats and then…..
Verse 3
You know, damn well, you’re suppose to be in my life Riding by my side (Oh yeah yeah) You know, damn well, you’re suppose to be coming home to me every night
Baby if you’re not that far away Maybe we can spend the day Catch up on all the loving we lost Let me kiss you in your favorite place
So….. if he doesn’t get what he wants he damn near gets beligerent..lol. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL, WOMAN! All he wants to do is kiss you in your favorite place. Just KINKY!!! KINKY , I TELL YA! lol. Yep.. been there. Had the kind of passion where you knew better than to be left alone in the same place with that other person because baby making would surely follow no matter the consequences…. *shakes head at the thought* Sorry, had a flash back…lmao!
Well, every time I listen to this song I think of what I went through that made this song so relevant to me. I thank the person who decided to bring it to my attention and I will always hold a special place for this song in my heart. Tales like this really do happen in real life….and I am a witness to it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always turn out to be a love connection….but the memories are a nice reminder of what love can look like. It gives you hope of what is in the future. And if nothing else, it is just nice to know that you are wanted. I refuse to lose hope for love. I simply refuse to.
P.S. I also refuse not to die laughing at the fact that the model who Tyra Banks yelled at is in this video. lmao.
P.P.S. I refuse to fight the urge to call him K-C from Jodeci. lmao!
Sitting peacefully in my office, supposedly being productive when Pandora hits me with the gift of Neo-Soul‘s Past; India Arie‘s Talk to Her. I could have jumped up and belted this entire song out loud in my office without caring what anyone thought of me. Yes, this song spoke to my soul and I was prepared to be escorted out of the building by Federal Police. This was truly worth it. I immediately searched for the mp3 on the internet and placed it on repeat. I have a feeling that this CD will be played when I get home and immediately placed on my mp3 player.
Why the excitement? Well… its India Arie! I can remember how I was first introduced to her and I became hooked and have bought every CD since. Not the iTunes….no, the CD!! I just have faith that every time I buy an India Arie project I will be able to listen to it from start to finish without complaint and that faith is bigger than a mustard seed. And I have to tell you, I have NEVER been disappointed. EVERY project is my favorite. SO much so, I had to stay away from her when she came to Busboys and Poets in DC because I didn’t want to hug her and get arrested like a crazed groupie. I was more than that… I was a supporter. Yes, ever since the day my little hippie friend Erin and her dark brown hair and glasses told me to listen to Brown Skin, I was hooked. Of course I wanted to know what a little white girl knew about Brown Skin, but she told me that her friend in Atlanta heard her and she wondered if I knew. Well… I didn’t and I felt excited that she had told me.
The very first time that I heard this song I pictured that India Arie was a teacher in a class and the students were all teen black males & females. This song would be the lesson of the day. Essence and Vibe magazines would be the text books on every desk. Lyrics to the song would be written on the board, college lecture style. It would be a modern-day Lean on Me. Yes, I can picture it….or something like it. What if…..
The video would start off with India Arie walking down a row of desks placing the last of the “text books” on the individual desk in preparation for the arrival of the students back from lunch and/or recess. While singing she places the last book and then walks to write the topic “Talk to Her” on the chalkboard. A disagreement between a boy and his girlfriend comes into the shot and India walks over to the window.
Chorus:
When you talk to her talk to her Like you want somebody to talk to you mama Don’t get smart with her have a heart to heart with her Just like you would with your daughter Cause everything you do or say You gotta live with it everyday She’s somebody’s baby She’s somebody’s sista She’s somebody’s mama
When she gets to the window and raises the window up even higher and sticks her head outside. The girlfriend storms away crying and India grabs the arm of the boy and sings the first verse to him.
Verse 1 Now when you got to her speak truthfully Be honest as you can be, from your heart You’re in a situation, where ya losing patience Take your time and look her in the eye When you just can’t find the words you want And it’s hard to reach the point Where you both can understand Don’t just tell the truth But,Tell the whole truth It’ll make a better man outta you
She gently touches his face and closes the window. Then in the background you see girls jumping rope and they become the background singers for this part. The guy apologizes and they make up. The Bell rings and everyone heads into the school towards the end of the chorus.
Chorus:
When you talk to her, talk to her Like you want somebody to talk to your mama Don’t get smart with her have a heart to heart With her just like you would with your daughter Cause everything you do or say You gotta live with it everyday She’s somebody’s baby She’s somebody’s sista She’s somebody’s mama
Scene switches to India Arie walking down the school halls. Girls wearing short skirts can be seen with guys whistling and attempting to pull up their dresses. India jumps in to correct the situation….. Words are spoken to both the boys and the girls to prove her point.
Verse 2:
It doesn’t matter if she’s wearin A mini skirt or a business suit Whether she’s 25 or 99 Treat her the way your mama taught you to She could be the Queen of Sheba She could be a school teacher Home maker or a lawyer I think it’s good for your Karma If when ya talk to her…
Female teachers open class doors to join in ask the chorus is being sung. They usher the students into the classrooms leaving India in the halls by herself.
Chorus:
When you talk to her, talk to her Like you want somebody to talk to your mama Don’t get smart with her have a heart to heart With her just like you would with your daughter Cause everything you do or say You gotta live with it everyday She’s somebody’s baby She’s somebody’s sista She’s somebody’s mama
India can be seen walking past a boys’ and girl’s restroom and them comes to a stop underneath a clock with hands that are speeding up the time of day and to suggest that times are changing. She continues to walk towards the auditorium.
Verse 3 Now let’s keep it real Nothing in this world could ever exist Without it’s opposite There has to be a sun and moon A man and a woman And that’s just the way it is Humanity’s lop sided And everyone’s fightin’ How do we restore the peace Mother earth is hurtin’ And everyone is searchin’ For the feminine energy
The doors of the auditorium open to the students being adult men and women. India goes and takes her place standing in her place as a teacher, much like that scene in Lean On Me where the teachers stood in the isle. She has an envelope in hand.
Chorus:
When you talk to her talk to her Like you want somebody else to talk to your mama (Watch your mouth, yeah yeah) Don’t get smart with her have a heart to heart With her just like you would with your daughter Cause everything you do or say You gotta live with it everyday She’s somebody’s baby She’s somebody’s sista She’s somebody’s mama
The camera would pan over the “students” matching each line of the Vamp. A brother stands up to fight when a guy says something to his sister, you see usual teen behavior at an assembly; paper throwing, joking, etc.
Vamp
When you talk to her talk to her Like you want somebody to talk to your mama Just like you fight for your sister If you knew that somebody dissed her How you gonna care for your daughter Turn around and talk bad about her mama Same way you listen to your auntie Never interrupt while she speaks Make your words sweet like candy As if you were talking to your granny yeah
The male principal is on stage speaking as he looks up and locks eyes with India. He smiles, continues the speech to the “students”. This would even be an amazing time to have cameos from the Lean On Me cast…lol
If you really love her then (say so) If you really need her then (say so) Love the way she thinks (say so) You love the way she speaks (say so) When you need some good conversation (say so) Say so (say so) If you want her in your life (say so) You want her to be your wife (say so) Tell her she’s your best friend (say so) (alright) You’ll be there to the end (alright)(say so)
Camera pans in on India looking at the envelope in her hand which is suggested to have been a resignation letter and she tears it in half. Principal dismisses the students and seen goes to everyone filing out of the auditorium and leaving the school building. One of the other female teachers playfully hits her as she walks to the curb.
If you’re thinking about leaving (say so) If you wonder where she’s going (say so) If you need to breathe with her (say so) You just want to be with her (say so) If you love her hair (say so) If you want her there (say so) Tell me if you really want her (say so) You wanna slap her down (say so) Say so… (You better not hit no woman, you done bumped yo’ head) If you feel like loving (say so) If you wanna feel the hugging (say so)
A car pulls up and in the driver seat is a man who she leans in and kisses on the cheek and the car pulls off.
Yeh…. that’s exactly how I pictured it. But who am I…. just a borderline obsessed fan.. and I mean that in the MOST respectful, “no restraining order needed” kind of way. I think that India, in all of her beauty, both vocally and physically would make my vision so beautiful. But she needs no help in that department. I pray she is as strong and direct and humble as I perceive her to be. I see God in her….And that is all that I have to say about that. Enjoy!
P.S.~ Check out my other post called 200 Men Said…. Oedipus’ Words. It is apart of my 200 Men Said…. series where I asked the men if they’ve ever said something to a woman that they wouldn’t want anyone to say to their mother. The answers will surprise you.
This blog entry is to set the record straight, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!! So, while clowning on twitter ( @_2Deep_) a friend on mine hit me up and wanted me to ask my 200 men a question that has been burning up inside of her. Now, what kind of friend would I be to deny her of a stage?
She mentioned to me that while out and about at clubs she noticed that several black men were clinging heavily to white women, or women of other races in general, but you never really see them clinging to us black women in the same fashion. THESE ARE HER WORDS AND SENTIMENTS, DO NOT… I REPEAT, DO NOT SHOOT THE MESSENGER!!! So she wanted to know why was this the case. Why are, in her opinion, black men more affectionate and willing to date those who are outside of their race and not do the same for those who resemble themselves? She said it made her feel as if black men did not value black women the way that women of other races were valued. On “some” points I agreed with her. I too think that there are times when black men do not value us as much as they should, but I never looked at it as they value us less than other races. I say this because, I believe that black women are to be valued differently, therefore to compare out value to another race of women is invalid. I say this because majority of the time, the way that men, in general, value other races…a black woman would see as belittling, or would see as weak…which in return causes relationship issues….so this discussion is somewhat invalid. I think this is an in-house problem that needs to be corrected. But, since that was not the issue that was brought to the table, I had to reach out to my guys and ask them to directly answer her question. And let me tell you… the uproar from my guys that came back was a sight to see….but good to see it in ink.
So I stuck my neck out on the chopping block, because you just know that when you generalize a question or say that you are asking for a friend that automatically makes people think you are asking for yourself…lol. Well, on this one, I really am asking for someone else, but I am learning from the responses as well. Now, my 200 Men were asked:
Many black women don’t feel as if black men value them. As a black man, do you value black women over other races? Would you date/have you dated outside of your race? Why? Send me a note/message for longer answers.
And they answered with:
WWW . (dirty) . com: never dated out of my race and never will–i love a chocolate woman…[they’re] so pink inside….. [2Deep: I have absolutely no clue what this means or if this is even a compliment, but at least he loves his black women…lol]
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**:I would have to say that I definitely value black women over any and every other race. I have dated outside my race before but I could not say that I have ever considered marrying and spending my life with anything but a black woman. I am amazed at the strength and loyalty of a good black woman once they believe they have a man they can pour into completely.
Dezi: I love my sisters and i never thought about going outside of my race. And if i do [it’s] my choice as it is the next black man’s or woman’s. Not about race it’s about being happy.
”DUKE” BANNER: i would never disrespect my queen. never dated outside my race but im not [racist]
*~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I would never de-valued (lol) a black woman, that’s basically saying i don’t have respect [for] all the strong black women in my family. I would never put another race over the other. I haven’t dated outside my race but I’m not ruling that out either. If i happen to meet someone of different race I’m okay with that.
!: I value black women over other races but since i have native and european blood way down the lines near the end of slavery I’m open to dating any race. It’s about the person and not color to me…my preference though is a black woman first.
http://www.twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: It’s definitely not a race issue its a faith issue. I would absolutely date outside my race the heart doesn’t have color. I have dated other races before.
MR. LOVING: I feel I do & I haven’t had the chance to date outside my race. I wouldn’t mind though.
Prestige “The One And Only”: I personally believe there is no substitute for a good black woman. If what I’m looking for is found outside my race so be it, but that’s not where I’m looking. As to the value of a blk wmn, I can only see myself valuing her as much as she does herself.
PIECE OF WORK!! $$PET$ PET$ PET$$$: i do… i love my black women… yeah i would, but depends. why bc i am attracted to physical beauty before inner beauty. but they must have both..[2Deep: Well, ladies at least he is honest. It’s booty before beauty with him..lol]
KEN: I LOVE BLACK WOMEN..but yall…..lol but seriously black woman [are the] most powerful women in [the] world; ask Oprah and Michelle. black women are beautiful women, just hard 2 get alone wit.so yes, [i value] black woman value over other races…
Kip S: I do value black women. All of the girls that I’ve dated have been black except 2 of latin origin. I don’t see a problem dating outside of yourself as long as you know who you are and where you come from
Jamarcus V: i love everything about tha black woman and I don’t do tha outside of tha race thing,mixed is one thing but a whole different race i cant do it
THE TOTAL PACKAGE: definitely value blk women more cause my moms a blk women 1st and foremost and cuz without blk women life would not exist on this planet!!
Kycajrome L: I prefer my sistas first over any other ….but yes i have dated outside us, why….I was asked….and decided to try it….
THIS GUY: WELL ME I LOVE MY SISTERS NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE NO REPLACEMENT IN THE WORLD THERE THE ONLY ONES FOR ME AND NO OTHER RACE CAN REPLACE MY NATURAL NEED FOR BLACK WOMEN. SO I ONLY DEAL WITH BLACK WOMEN. PEOPLE CAN SAY LOOKS DONT COUNT BUT THEY DO
Henry C: yes i love my black women.
DEVON B: i love black women
Lateef25: i love blk women i have only other race i have dated was spanish women
MYLES C AKA !! Mr.Grown-N-Sexxxi !!: EVERYONE IS TREATED EQUAL TO ME. YES I HAVE DATED OUTSIDE MY RACE MAYBE TWICE, BECAUSE SOME BLACK MEN FEEL THAT A BLACK FEMALE WONT DO A WHITE WOMAN WOULD, BUT IT AINT ALL BOUT THAT
My ALL TIME FAVORITE RESPONSE CAME FROM……….:
Black Kryptonite aka the KID: black men value black women who value themselves. not the ones who want to rock the labels but not work to get it for themselves. Or women who are looking for captain save her
PREACH, Black Kryptonite!!! So, I think he flat-out told us that we have to VALUE OURSELVES in order to be valued in return. So, did he just hand the responsibility of placing a value to our worth back into our hands? Well I be damned, I think he did! lmao! So, if we feel that we are not being valued by our men, it is then our place to make sure that we have worth, know it, and place our worth on proper display. I think that it is safe to say that you will NEVER find a Benz dealership in the middle of the hood, so why should you place your values amongst actions that do not match what it is that you think you are worth. I’m coining the phrase, actions speak louder than worth. How you act will dictate your judgement of your worth and guys can pick up on that. So, correct yourself first.
Another interesting comment that came from this question came from James F. The discussion turned into a bit of a conversation so check it out:
James F: yes i value black women i come from a black woman i can never diss or turn my back on them…its ironic you say that cause i feel black men kinda feel the same why about black women but any i digress…but yes i will date outside my race I don’t discriminate..everybody should date whoever they wanna date
Me: So, you brought up an interesting point. You say that black men feel the same way? How so? Can you explain what some black women do that makes some black men feel as if we don’t value them?
James F: i mean Some black women, not all, don’t hesitate to throw black men under the bus…some black women are just black men bashers lets just keep it real…if you’re doing that why would black men feel valued when the first out your mouth is something negative?? it is what it is…its too much of disconnect between black men and women…and it shouldn’t be like that
So, how do you propose BOTH sides work on fixing this problem? Because SOME of the negativity is based on experience. For instance, I just had this complete stranger (black male) post on my page ” do you skeet or spit when you have sex”. WHAT KIND OF BS is that? I don’t know him. What I shouldnt do is take his stupidity out on the next, but you must understand why I would be guarded, right? So, I propose the question…..how should a black woman place value in a black man? Hmmm… we could go on for hours. Pretty much like my next comment response.
So, in the middle of my responses I received this:
Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: RESPECT is lost amongst us all. Everyone wants the ability to do whatever they want without recourse. We take things and persons for granted with silly talk about this is a new year and a time for change. Yes change is what got us here from when things had more value and respect back in the day. Date outside my race i have before i found my spiritual path and we are not to date a certain kind of people. All this leads to a root of a problem that we are trying to avoid by dealing with the surface on our own regards. Bringing it back to relevance though when RESPECT was lost during this all change is good so will everything else be lost ie honesty, loyalty, communication, trust…..
Me:I have to be honest…. I am sooooo lost with your response. I get the “respect is lost” part. But can you explain it to me again, but this time slow and act like I’m dumb.
Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: Where are you lost because i can’t begin to correlate until you tell me which point you need clarity. I will do this to help what i think you maybe lost.”We take things and persons for granted with silly talk about this is a new year and a time for change”… What i am saying here is people want the ability to do whatever they desire as they see fit with other people belongings or how they treat or act towards the other person.”Date outside my race i have before i found my spiritual path and we are not to date a certain kind of people”…. Here i am talking about dating outside my race but came to realize that is wrong and only disrespectful to the creator not the person. Its written in the scriptures who we are to date/marry.”All this leads to a root of a problem that we are trying to avoid by dealing with the surface on our own regards”….I am saying here that we that we try to deal with these situation on our own desires/regards or what we see fit to make it work. You don’t have to be spiritual or preacher to see how we are to interact with each other as written. We are so far from the truth that we make our own to satisfy our realities.
Me: Whooooooooooooooooa Nelly! The Bible doesn’t mention race. But you must be of like and sound mind; equally yoked. A person of aother race ca be equally yoked with you. So how did you figure it was wrong to the creator to date a person of another race?
Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**:Yes it did because he you know your history of where all races came from during the biblical days…you would know of the races it were speaking of because during the bible days race were never used but location where people lived…..Your pastor will not tell you this and that is why you must read the bible and learned its history. Most people just read the bible and think that is it and some don’t read it just recite what was said to them so the knowledge of it is mixed up. YES the bible talks about race….Go find me in the bible where it doesn’t talk about you are not to marry from this place but this place or not to marry from this place and when you DO come across it…. Find out the RACE of people there and there is your RACE…. I am in the dirt of the book your on the surface but you can dig too
Me: But location and the color of one’s skin is two TOTALLY different things. There are people of all skin hughes who are born in america….So…. amI to see who is a child of Abraham before I accept his proposal in marriage? I understand what you mean, but that does not relate to skin tone. Again, it relates to the belief systems and being equally yoked with persons from different sects. Thee could be BLACK people who are not equally yoked with you who you are not supposed to marry.
Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: Your just blurring the lines because you fear of what is being said…I said RACE not skin color….Race in america is skin color but Race outside of here is Location. Native Americans are of different hues but there are located to this country….Asians which is a race and located to their location….Europeans, Alaskian, Somoans, African, and the so on….You want to limit to the equally yoke because you want to date outside of said race….I will do this for you…Provide you scriptures and you tell me where does it rely to unequally yoking….Your trying understand but you just have one part because here in America its Politically correct to use that part but the rest is not and many do not want to create ripples in the waves. I will stand by my creator words and do not fear of people issues due to fear of another’s opinion or comment. Why did Abraham send his servant to another place to find a wife for Issac? Race of people where he was at were not for his son to marry….hmmmmm
Me: First off….DONT YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I AM “AFRAID” TO DO….it is insulting & you don’t know me. I’ve never dated out of my race, not that it matters, so to assume somewhat mutes your point.When people cannot stick directly to facts, they often time assume and pass judgement on those who think in opposition….that very move does not make your argument strong. Just stick to the facts.It is the respectful thing to dispute what I say without passing judgement on me for why I think that way. Or do they teach you that in the Bible too? Can you show me the verse on “thou shalt pass judgement on the person because they disagree with you.”? (This is merely rhetorical, please do not respond)Also,I understood and know the meaning of RACE. Race is derived from origin and or location….that is one of the definitions of race. Therefore, a white person who is born in Africa has the race of African, and should they move to America, they too will be classified as African-American. Sounds weird, but it is true. Therefore, a person of a different color skin can be classified as being of the same RACE as you. On the flip side, an African-American would be of a different RACE than an African based purely on the definition of RACE, therefore making an African unequally yoked from an African-American. Which leads me back to my original question (part of which is now answered): I now know that you would not date outside of your RACE, but would you date outside of your own darker colored skin category and date a person who would stereotypically be classified as white? As I am NIGERIAN….I am not just stuck to the confines of American ideologies (Again…thou shalt not judge). Again… my questions are now rhetorical… PLEASE DO NOT REPLY any further.So, I will not pass judgement on you. But I will tell you that the word of God is not abrasive, nor is it rude. We as a people cannot pass judgement or assume and then hide behind the Word. I respect your opinion, although I disagree with its use, but I will never past judgement on you for thinking the way that you do. THAT is what the Word has taught me. Maybe I am reading a different book. Therefore, I will thank you for your comments and ask that you respond no further. Again, your words are greatly appreciated. I pray that you have a blessed day and have an even better 2011. God bless!
Yes, child…. the conversation went there! I know I am not your typical Bible slinging Christian, but I too believe in the Word, and for some reason it just irks me when people use it to divide. There is always a time and a place for the word and it is only applicable at ALL TIMES when it is used correctly. End of story. I have had two of my HUGEST crushes on white guys. One was on …I think his name was Brian, in my high school Theatre group. Still to this day I have a picture of me sitting on the Shakespeare Theatre Festival steps behind him running my fingers through his hair. The other guy was Matthew and he went to my junior high school in Spokane, Washington. I loved even his glasses. There was something about his spirit that just made me like him. So, you can’t tell me that I can’t love who I choose to love because they are not from the same location as me. Especially when I see God in them. My god-family looks like a United Nations’ meeting; from my black siblings to their asian, white, and Pakistani (sp) spouses and some of the most beautiful children that you have ever laid eyes on…..I beg to differ that this was wrong. I somewhat believe that this is what God intended. But that’s just my opinion.
So, in closing, I think that the fellas have proven their point…. at least the 200 that I have come in contact with. They all believe that they value the black woman over any other race. But I do not think that it matters. Love is love, and if for some reason you see a white girl with one of our black brothers, wish him well. There was a time when a black man would have been hanged for expressing his love to a person with whom he connected with. That man was not destined for you. Why get your bloomers in a bunch for someone who isn’t checking for you because he wasnt put on this earth for you? Get out of their business and start focusing on your own. You could very well be missing the guy who thinks that YOU are beautiful and it has nothing to do with race. It has nothing to do with him staying with his own kind which rings to the rhythm of a KKK meeting. But it will have everything to do with him loving YOU. Be happy with that. Killing the hopes of someone else’s love is not the most productive thing that you can do. But having faith that a different kind of love, a love between a black and a white, can exist in its purest form should lend hope that love can survive under simpler circumstances. That is my opinion on that!
So-Shall I be the first to point out that yes, the title may seem just a tad bit racist. Well.. I’m not racist! Some of my closest friends are white! And no, I am not making a generalized statement for ALL white people, but yes, this does apply to MOST white people. Shoot me on being Politically Incorrect later… right now… I’m venting.
So this blog comes from the fact that for the past two days/years I have been the victim of Caucasian Anti-Conflict measures, aka Passive-Aggressive, aka That Bull SHit! I don’t do well with beating around the bush. I am perfectly happy with just setting the whole damn bush on fire and letting the truth burn or confess what the hell is on its mind. hahaha a Burning Bush sounds so Biblical…but modernized concept. Point blank…. I don’t like it and it drives me up the wall.
Where does this come from? I could turn completely militant and ask ” are you that afraid of black people, or conflict in general, that you would rather appear to be a strong force while turning female dog behind closed doors”? You do know that I have no source of respect for anyone who participates in this kind of action. It shows weakness, it creates animosity, it creates a divide in whatever form of trust that may have been present before you turned bitch. And I am not saying this as a minority woman, but as a person in general, I like people in authority to be in authority and not to abuse the power.
When I came to this position at my job I worked under a very powerful, strong-willed, and intelligent African-American woman. Now, my other African-American women know that this in and of itself could pose as a recipe for disaster in the work place. Well try two black women at the head of your division. I just knew I wasnt going to make it through this experience without getting arrested, but I was sadly mistaken. These two black women were some of my best bosses in my whole employment history. They were direct, they were quick in correcting the issue and you never were in the dark about what your tasks were, how they felt about you, and what it was that was coming down the pipeline. I LOVED that. They put out the fire before the gasoline was even ciphered out of the ground, they didn’t wait for the match to be lit after the situation was drenched in octane. I felt very accomplished working under the two of them and I got a ton of work done. This is the type of environment that I thrive in; directness, preciseness, and honesty.
But this joy was short-lived as one boss got a job in another division and the HWIC retired. We then got this younger Caucasian male to replace her. I was like, okay, new experience but I will embrace it. But now!…..please bring my two black women back!!!!!!! Between his indecisiveness, his two-faced ways, his cutting you off in the middle of conversations, and his bold face lying…. I just can’t take the Passive-Aggressive measures that he is already taking as the new lead of my division. I can’t do it…. then his elderly mini-me who follows behind him drives me absolutely up the wall….let me explain.
I am, if nothing else, a very direct & consistent woman…if I say that I will do something then that is exactly what I am going to do unless a force of God takes that power away from me. So, if I am going to be late, sick, or stuck in traffic I text, email, or call my Caucasian supervisor and let him know…he’s the elderly mini-me. I have sent emails and text messages at 4am as I head to the ER or 6am while I am having an asthma attack on my bathroom floor. I’ve even texted him, WHILE DRIVING…which is ILLEGAL…if I am stuck in this horrible DMV traffic just so that they are aware of where I am. All this to say….they know where I am. So dude, if you don’t hear from me saying that I am running late, that means that I am in the office somewhere and all you need to do is leave me the hell alone. But noooooooooooo this fossil decides to walk past my office to the office behind me, which is a dead-end, and then turn back just to say good morning and walks back to his desk. Or if I am on the phone and a meeting has started he walks over and tells me that I need to get off the phone because a meeting is going on ( never mind the fact that this phone call pertains to information that I need to share in the meeting as soon as it is completed). Or an office email is sent out and he has to walk over and tell me the very same damn thing that the email says… FOOL YOU HIRED ME BECAUSE I CAN READ!!!! This nonsense gets old, annoying, and mentally challenging.
When there is a situation that needs to be resolved I feel like I am floating in the middle of Kat Stacks vag. I have walked to my elderly supervisor with concerns and problems asking for his assistance just to have him tell me that I need to suck it up. I have sent emails and documented issues that have stressed me out, made my working conditions unbearable and that have almost made me choose to quit just to have him sit on them and say that we are here to please the company. But when those very problems are brought to him because they have escalated and I am now in trouble… NOW he comes to me and wants to set the record straight. Do you all know that I am on probation at work because this pale fart failed to do his due diligence as my supervisor and ensure that I was covered!!! He walks into meetings like he has never heard my concerns and turns shocked that this is even happening and throws me under the fucking bus!!!! I HATE THIS MESS! This type of behavior will get his 2 days from shaking God’s hand in person ass pushed down an elevator shaft! WHO DOES THAT?!!! My head boss sat in front of us yesterday and asked for another co-worker in front of everyone. That co-worker comes into the office and mentions that she heard she was being looked for and he lied to her face. But then he calls his mini-me into the office and we get a discussion about being on time.
Dear White People…. don’t do that shit! When I walk into a meeting and you make a generalized statement, it goes right over my head because I know what you once told me and I stick with that. When I ask you if it is me and for specific details, dont generalize me because you will get generally ignored. For example, I was told that my friendship with another employee was a conflict of interest…but when I asked what aspects of that friendship so that I could fix the situation, I was told that it was no big deal. If it is no big deal why the hell are you sitting with me in an office telling me that there is a problem with my damn friendship? Then when I say that I will stop being friends with this person they tell me to stop being dramatic and all of that is no necessary. WELL, DAMN IT THEN TELL ME WHAT PART I NEED TO FIX because my job is not worth me losing over a friendship that I only have when I am in the office, nor is my healthy or parole record worth damaging because you can’t make up your damn mind.
So, speak to me directly. Conflict is good… that shows me that you are human, that you have opinions and that I cant run all over you. I respect logical conflict….but this Passive-Aggressive nonsense causes me to lose all respect for you, what you stand for and you will get nothing out of me. Change this up. I shouldnt always have to conform to the ways of the world….sometimes the ways of the world need to acknowledge that you are incorrect, flat-out wrong and do something to correct it. That is my thought. And Scene!
So, I have to admit…I didnt watch this last season. My life was so hectic that I didnt even know how to set the sleep timer on my TV. lol. So, when I was searching for something to blog about, this show was right at the top of my list. Yes, I too thought that Lisa Raye McCoy deserved a chance to be put under my microscope. I will TRY to be as respectful as I can be……but if she is the Real McCoy, then I am the Real Deep! Leh’ Go!
I searched high and low for a song that I thought would speak of a 
I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard this song. I was on the phone with my high school sweetheart after about a year of me not speaking to him. He was back at his old tricks of trying to get me to fall for him all over again. He told me to check out this song, and I had never even heard of the artist, much less the song….but I said that I would. And I did. Loved it. Thought that I should burst out into singing “Killing Me Softly” because Urban Mystic was telling my whole life with his words.
Sitting peacefully in my office, supposedly being productive when Pandora hits me with the gift of 
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 