As I have mentioned before, I have 2 nephews, 4 brothers, and 7 godbrothers…so the plight of man has become a big deal to me. I have no clue why I care so much, but I do. It often times baffles me how we can place so much concern into our women and not instill the same values in our men that would allow them to appreciate those in his girl when he sees them. There is a HUGE disconnect here.
As a girl I was taught to respect my body, make people earn me, and how every guy is not worthy enough to even step next to me. But I don’t think that my male siblings were taught the same things. I know for a fact a ton of my guy friends were not taught the same things. Or maybe they were, but it was for different reasons. Maybe they were taught by their mothers to not be with every girl but only for the purpose of not getting her pregnant or to get a girl of quality pregnant if it should occur. I know this could be an exaggeration, but who knows what is taught in opposition of my feminine training via the Man Code handbook. I just don’t think that our men are getting the same core messages as our girls as we grow up.
We are quick to point a finger and call a guy a dog before we help. Women are excelling in school and in the work place faster than guys and THIS in turn messes with the head of household dynamic. Has anyone else seen the connection? Has anyone reached out? We see guys flashing their private parts in their profile pics, vying to get as many girls as possible to sleep with them in a month, and abusive self behaviors. This saddens me when I see it. I reach out and ask the guy what makes him do this, why does he think this behavior is appropriate and many times I don’t get an answer. SO I decided to ask my 200 men directly to see what they think.
200 men were asked:
Do you, as a man, feel that you were taught to value your body, treat it as a temple, or to make people earn you? If not, do you think those things are important to you? Or are they meant only for women?
As usual, I wish I had the patience to copy past 200 responses, but I don’t… so here is what some of them said:
- big slim: I LUV ME..AND MY BODY MEANS EVERYTHING 2 ME
- Bear0007: It is meant for every one love, God gave us these bodies to be his temple and treat it as such.
- Black Kryptonite aka the KID: I think as a black young male, we are taught that are bodies will get us far in life whether with sports or women. It is important to maintain a healthy body for a long life.
- Sybree B: I feel that a man and a woman should treat their body as their temple because it shows how they actually feel about themselves.And it shouldn’t matter as long as you have self-confidence..
- Code Name Bigsexy: only for women.as a man you were never taught to do any thing [so] your body tells you [to] go get it if you like it.i think
- Ddouble R: (1) yes in many ways like tatts and Piercing they’re all good but why mess with perfection? it tells people you like how you look, so handle me with care. (2) no that’s dealing with everyone….. goes both ways….
- *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well i was raised by a Single mom and Sisters, the values that were instilled in me was that i should treat my body with the utmost respect and shouldn’t be desecrated. So i have very high value for my body.
- Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Although these things were taught to me they are not taught to the majority of males… Society teaches that boys will be boys. They are important to me but it all depends on your background
- James M: I wasn’t taught to value my body in a traditional way like at home. I only learned those things when I started playing sports at high school and college levels. Learning to eat right and stay in shape is something everyone can benefit from.
- Eric R: yes, i was taught to treat my body like a temple.
- James L: I had to learn to value my temple. I was taught by my mom to be a good person. When I started reading the bible it taught me to honor God with my body. It’s very important to live a balanced life. Men should stand strong just like women should.
- Chris C: Never really thought about it…some good food for thought!…I’ll get back to you on this one!
- Aries Brother: For the first part of this question..No I wasn’t. It is something I learned myself as time came and went. I do feel it is important to be conscientious of what we put in our body. But we don’t always want what is good to, and [good] for us in this life.
- Dezi: I was raised to always value my body and when you do my body(temple) will display itself so society will see it. And yes I believe men should be earned and not compromised. Also the Male body was always for the WOMAN to enjoy.
- Jeff C: I think I was taught that but I have learned .
The one thing that sticks out to me is that just about EVERY guy thought that treating his body like a temple meant to feed it right and to work out. Not one thought about the sexual aspects and the access that they give people to their bodies. There is a disconnect here. Why are our young men not receiving the message that they too are worth the wait? Why are they not making these chicken head girls work for them? Why is the easy was desired over the road less traveled? Dont they know that the road less traveled is a gold mine full of prime self-respect real estate just waiting for people to come scoop it up? Not one really mentioned that they stick to such strict guidelines as the girls do. We’ve got to change this!!!!! We’ve got to produce better boys that will become better gentlemen and then on to be better Men period!!!! I think I just found another one of my life’s calling by starting this series. I’m here to help my fellow man! I’m okay with that, because the better they are, the better the world will be!!!!
~Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~
Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~
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200 Men Said…..Oedipus’s Words
In 200 Men Said.... on 8 February 2011 at 12:00 amIt has always baffled me how guys can walk up to you on the street or on the internet and have some of the most FOUL and inappropriate things come out of their mouths. It honestly made me wonder were they raised by wolves or if their mothers had any home training. Who does that?! There was a HUGE disconnect when it came to how you spoke to and respected your mother and how you are supposed to speak to a female that you are interested in. It was a prime example of The Village failing us again [To Read on my ideas about It Takes a Village<~Click Here]. Somewhere along the line this foulness had become acceptable, the norm, for guys to say whatever they wanted to either impress their boys or simply because they hadn’t been made to do better by the older males surrounding them, or by the women that they were seeking.
As a woman with brothers galore and godbrothers to the hills, I know for a fact that my brothers would fight ‘AIN nut who thought that he would talk out the side of their neck in my direction. These are the same brothers that respect their women at all times. Of course they are guys and guys will do what guys do…. but they are not boys… my brothers are men. And yes, I know it sounds like Big sis is protecting her baby brothers, but it is more than that… I am using them as an example because I know that it can be done. Majority of my brothers are married, and the single ones ( meaning not married) have chosen some of the most wonderful women to share their time with that I would be proud to call any of them my sister-in-laws. It is possible.
How can a man respect his mother who gave life and then disrespect a woman with whom he has chosen to share life? I don’t get it. I wonder how a guy would respond if a potential suitor walked up to his mother and said “Damn, you’s one fine bitch” or shouted out to his sister “I’d like to fuck you cuz you be a fine mufucker.” Yes, these are the things that have been said to my brothers’ sister, my nephew’s aunt, and my father’s daughter. Is it only because you only want to protect your own family, and make sure that women who share the same blood as you are respected but could care less about everyone else? I mean really, would you have respect for a female who answered to “Aye, yo… you come here”? What could a woman with that low of stock in her self-esteem do for you when you need a pick me up? What could she teach your current kids or future kids about demanding respect from others? Believe it or not, I think that the way a guy solicites a woman and the woman he decides to share his time with is a HUGE representation of who he feels he is and what he thinks he deserves. I mean really… do you think that Diddy would date Tasha’nae from Burger Kind while touring with Dirty Money? I think NOT! All he gets are J-Los because that is what he feels he deserves. Ever seen a physically beautiful girl with a physically not so attractive male? They both had a mutual understanding of what they both felt they deserved and it had, in some cases, nothing to do with materialistic things.
So, I wanted to know how many of my 200 Men had forgotten their mothers at home when out and about conversing with women that they found interest in and I asked them the following question:
And their final answers were:
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