Male Self Respect

        Being an aunt makes me want to guard my nephews at all time from the women and situations that may try to steer them down the wrong path. If they were closer to me, they would get daily lessons of me telling them to love themselves and that they too are treasures. Being a godmother of a beautiful 10-year-old makes me tell her every chance that I get that she is beautiful, that she is special, that no one should touch or see her body but her mother and grandmother. My god-daughter looks up to me and tells me in our pen pal letters that she thinks I am the best godmother ever. This is where my basis for this blog is grounded….the teaching of equality in self-worth.

        My nephews, just because they are boys shouldnt be told anything different that I tell my god-daughter, other than pee standing up and wipe your butt properly.  If  I tell her that she should wait until she can handle whatever consequences that may come her way when it comes to sex, then my nephews should get the same pep talk. My nephews shouldnt get the pregnancy speech of “just don’t get her pregnant” but it should also be instilled in them that they will have to take care of a baby that they helped produce and dead beating it is not an option. But this is me preaching in Lala land.

        I know that it is a social thing for guys to follow man law from the Hold Your Nuts handbook, and I am just a woman…so what do I know, right? Well, as a woman who has a good amount of self-respect, it pains me to see males not showing love for themselves as well. When a guy doesn’t care about his appearance…sagging pants, dirty shirts, or over sized clothing…he is choosing trend over what image shows who he really is. Or maybe that is who he really is and not who he could be….but I can’t accept that. When a guy posts pictures of his penis as his profile pic on sites…I don’t get turned on by that. I immediately get offended because you just abused me without caring for my feelings, then you don’t care who sees your private parts. They’re called private parts for a reason. Restricted areas aren’t meant for everyone to see. If you know you are working with a Monster….make a chick work for the monster. When I see guys getting with a girl just because she is easy and will give it up… I just want to scream. That shows that you don’t think you can get a woman of substance or that you don’t care that this chick just did the same thing she’s doing to you to 20 of your closest boys. Shouldnt a guy think that he deserves better than the local hood rat? Or do you only think that the quick fix makes you rank higher amongst your boys? Dont you feel that you are worth the pick of the litter?

        I could be taking this out of context or merely refusing to live in the destructive modern structures, but I believe that this outlook on life that certain males have can be changed. I just want to walk up to guys on the street, and sometimes I do, and tell them to look at things from a different perspective. Like the teen who walked behind me blasting the lyrics “I only lick pussy if the bitch can suck a dick…” loudly from his mp3 player at Yum Yum’s. I turned around and asked him if he thought that what he was doing was respectful to the women standing in line with him. I also asked if he thought that the girl across the joint who he had been staring at would even think that was cute. I also asked him if this made him appear cool versus looking smart. He looked at me, turned off his mp3 player, apologized and thanked me. He said, “No one has ever put it to me like dat befo. I ‘prociate dat ma’am.” And as he grabbed his food and walked out I yelled…”and pull those pants up too.” All it took, in this case, was for someone to introduce him to his worth.

        I think if we spent a 3rd of the energy on boys that we spend on building up the girl’s self worth…the world would be a better place. Majority of the girl’s worth training is based upon the assumption that a guy will eventually try to corrupt you…so why not stop the potential corruption and build both entities up from the womb? I love males dearly….and I can’t sit by idly and watch another one display clear signs of self disrespect. No matter what society, media, or your boys say is cool….you can do better. I know you can… I have faith that you can…. and you will.

The end of my public service announcement.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

P90X Journey: Day 31

Umm… okay, this morning my entire body turned traitor. I woke up and hour before my alarm and I had stomach pains that I had no clue where they were coming from. I had the urge to use the restroom but couldn’t and I was extremely tired and fatigued. THIS WAS TOO MUCH! I think my body is trying to get back into the swing of things after last week and I am just jumping right back into P90X like a week of sickness wasnt a big deal. My digestive track is crying out for attention and I have no reason why. I ate cereal this morning and was in so much pain I almost wanted to call out of work again. This has to get better. I am watching my diet closer too.

So, thankfully I only have to do Core Synergenics (sp) tonight. I was going to workout this morning but I honestly felt too fatigued to do it. WHich is sad because it would have been nice to get it out of the way. I also have to squeeze in a walk/run ont he treadmill at the gym tonight. Since I only have one P90X exercise to do I have to get back into the gym that I still pay my membership dues and havent visited since June. Shame, yet true. It can be an hour of just straight up walking for all I care, I just have to put my face back in that gym. If the pool wasnt so cold, I would go and hop in that and swim for a little bit. I may go sit in the steamroom. So yeh, that is what I may do tonight.  I may need to buy a little book light so that I can sit in the steam room and read for a little bit. Cant take my headphones in there so I may want to read to keep from falling asleep. So, P90X for an hour and the gym treadmill for 30mins (only b/c the gym wont let you keep it for longer than that) and probably the steam room or another cardio machine for another 30 mins. I think I am going to love tonight. Will keep you posted. Right now (11am) my pedometer says 2404 steps…..the day is young. I want to make it to 10,000 OUTSIDE of my workout today. I dont care what it takes, I will have to make 10,000 steps today even if it takes me marching in place…..that counts,right?

WORKOUT

Okay, soooooo This is going to turn into another blog all on its own, but I went home expecting for my ex to have plans for us to go out…strictly as friends. I felt I was being harsh on him for cutting him off and told him that he could earn my friendship back if he tried. He said he would keep his word ( which is why we aren’t together now…because that negro couldn’t keep his word if Jesus tatted it to his chest). So I got in the house and I ate to Red Hots (hot dogs) and I sat on the couch. My intuition tapped me and said, “Bitch, if you don’t get up and workout now I will sabotage your whole fitness goal. You know damn well this negro is not gonna keep his word.” I looked at the clock and it was 6:50. I didn’t even have time to let the food digest all that good, but I hopped into action and put on my workout clothes and popped in Core Synergistics because Plyometrics is too much for me.  I sweated and I fought back tears, every time I wanted to cry I just had to dig a little deeper. When the kicks came into play I felt like I was kicking him dead in his throat! I got down and did knee push-ups and wall push-ups but I kept it moving and wouldn’t stop. I didn’t do the bonus workouts because my emotions were getting the best of me. Actually, I don’t even think that I cooled down. I just got up and took a shower, then I came back and blocked his phone number and erased him from all of my social network pages. Felt good to do it but still didn’t make me feel any better. I was in bed by 9:30pm.

I am glad that I worked out before I got too upset and then I would have talked myself out of it. I think that I am learning to listen to my intuition and workout when I need to workout or suffer the consequences. These Doubles workouts I think are trying to my body but I will make it…. I have to make it under 220 by Dec 11th.  Next week I think I will do an all vegetarian diet but I wonder how much strength will I have to do these workouts. Who knows. I need to push, in a healthy way and make this work!!!!  Thanks for reading.

Drank a Pitcher of  Water? 1/2 of a pitcher

Close to the Diet today? Really, all I ate was cereal…my stomach had me scared to eat anything else

Completed Yoga in 1 day? N/A

Completed Ab Ripper X? N/A

Pedometer Steps: 7834/10,000

Worked out this Morning? 1/3wk no workout this morning

Treadmill or Walk/run: x/3wk

Took the stairs at work? 2x up and 1 time down already today (11am)

SIncerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

P90X Journey: Day 30

16 Nov 10

This Morning…… I hit snooze so many times that I think it may not work properly tomorrow. I just could not get out of bed as early as I would have liked. WOW!!!! Okay, so I finally got moving. I am going to do doubles just to put in some work in the 30 days leading up to my birthday cruise. I figure if I do the P90X Doubles then it should put things into overdrive. Lord only knows if this will actually work, but it can’t hurt. I only want to lose 10 lbs this month. Then I will be under my goal of 220 by the time I step foot on the cruise.

This morning I did Cardio X. I must admit that I wasnt doing it full-out. I was light-headed and dizzy & hungry. My stomach started to hurt and I had to stop one exercise before the cool down, but I made it. I have to figure out how to get enough energy in my system at night to last me through morning workouts. Will have to research, because I didn’t like that feeling at all. I drank a lot of water and hope to get through at least a pitcher by tonight.  Right now it is saying that I have 798 steps. I swear I stepped more than that…but again… it’s this janky pedometer. I was going to take the stairs this morning but a co-worker left her badge at home so I had to escort her via elevator because she wasnt going to take the stairs. lol. Shame.

Today really is like starting all over since I was sick last week. I have to get my mind back in the right spot and my body to get back healthy. Because it is still recovering from the infection. It sucks…. but I will get better. Okay… time for lunch.

WORKOUT

So, I came home and I dove right into the Chest, Back and Triceps DVD. I used my Iron Gym pull-up bar for push-ups like they say that you can…..man I felt that burn in my groin…lol. I tried to do it like a regular straight leg push up and my stomach clenched so hard I almost peed on myself so I went back to my knees. I have to use a pillow on my knees because of how hard my floor is and my floating patella still scare me. I have a fear I will be working out and my knee cap is gonna snap to the side like it use to back in high school. This morning my shoulders and back are BURNING!! DO you hear me?! BURNING!!!! I was proud of myself.

It was pretty rough getting back into the groove of things after having been sick for a week. Especially since this was my second workout of the day. I could have easily thrown in the towel and said I already worked out for the day and been cool with that. But I know better. I have all of these holiday meals and vacations dead smack in the middle of this Phase of 30 days and I have to put in the extra work just to pray that I stay even.  I can’t let anything stop me from getting below 220lbs. By the time I step on a plane on Dec 11th headed to Miami, I want the scale to say 219.9999999 lbs. I may not get on the plane if I don’t make that goal. I am dead ass serious! This is more than vanity to me, this is my life…the habits that I want to take with me from this day forward. I can’t go into my 30th birthday with a set-back. I have to go into it with a small victory that drives me & motivates me to keep moving forward. I already told my homegirl that I have to get up and hit the gym every day on the cruise. I have to. Sounds weird to say, but I can’t let my celebration set me back either. It will be less stressful than P90X but it will be SOMETHING!!! Then our walking around the different ports every day will help too. I just have to set up a plan and keep it moving. I also have to watch what I eat while on the ship. I can have a blast, but know what I am getting myself into & make wise decisions.

When Ab Ripper came on I sped through those exercises without the DVD…I had to go my pace without getting psyched out. But in the end I had to stop. I started to feel what I call the “drunken burp” where you feel like you have to burp but if you do something else might come up behind it. I felt real light-headed and nauseous so I had to call it quits to exercises before the end; the leg climber and the Mason twist. I had to know my limits. And I had reached them. I am typing this and forgot to bring my workout stats with me… but I will probably post them tomorrow so you can see what I did and/or how I did. Thanks for reading.

Daily Stats

Drank a Pitcher of  Water? 3/4 of a Brita water pitcher

Close to the Diet today? ummm… does the Chick-fil-a sandwich count

Completed Yoga in 1 day? N/A

Completed Ab Ripper X? Did all but the Leg climb & Mason Twist

Pedometer Steps: 5858/10,000

Worked out this Morning? YES!!! 1/3 for this wk

Treadmill or Walk/run: x/3wk

Took the stairs at work? NOPE

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

P90X Journey: Day 6

 

23 October 10

Today I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

Oddly enough, instead of turning to food, I had the urge to want to walk it off or go to the gym. I felt good about that. I have only eaten once today ( nachos at the movies…bad? I know!) and even though it is not good it is a break in my habit.  So here is is…7:00 pm and I am going to work out at 8pm. I think that I will look forward to it and make sure that I can get through the entire workout rather than let my emotions get the best of me. Will write an update after I work out. Day 6…..a testament that I kept to my word for 6 days in a row. That feels very good to me.

 10:09pm (Pedometer reads 13364 steps for today so far)

I just finished Kenpo X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have gone 6 Days in a row of working out. I was actually looking forward to working out. I FEEL GREAT!!! I didn’t let my problems stop me from a goal. I got up and I kissed ass!!! I did EVERY single move. I didn’t do the first rep of each move just so I could see what it was…but other than that… (Forrest Gump voice) I was MOVING!!!…lmbo!

I kicked the crap out of my problems. It was just me, Tony Horton and my determination to succeed. I don’t feel down like I did before I started. I felt like I was in a rut…and I think it was my csub-onscience trying to get me not to workout, but I over came it. I learned the lesson of fitness, not food when mad. This comforted me now, and it will comfort me through fitness success later. It is the gift that keeps on giving.

I only took water breaks during the break but I picked back up on the jump ropes, jumping jacks and Jump X every single time!!! I was doing Jumping jacks at the same speed they were and not the fat girl hops. This feelsamazing!!!! I feel like I am rambling…. and I probably am…but screw you I am proud of my fitness. I think that after all of the hours I wallowed in my unhealthy behaviors.. .I think I deserve a minimum of 90 days to celebrate my success in fitness. I love this so much that tomorrow will NOT be a rest day… I am going to do the Stretch X.

I am noticing that my right hip/lower back still feels tight at the beginning of workouts, but as the workout goes on it tends to go away or it begins to allow me to sink deeper into my stretches. Like I said before, my jumping jacks don’t feel so horrible, and my kicks are becoming more stable. My weakness still lies in my upper body strength and leg power/stability when in squats or bends. I am also still not flexible with leg stretches. I say this now….and add a huge YET!

Instead of me thinking about how I have 84 days left… I’m going to say that I finished 6 days…. I have another 6 to go. I’ve never done more than a week of fitness in a row. Not only is Belize, Grand Cayman, Cozumel, and ISla Roatan my motivation…neither is my looming 30th birthday…but the REST OF MY LIFE!!! I let me 20s slip through my hands by being obese. It is time for me to live. I DID THIS TO MYSELF AND IT IS NO TIME FOR ME TO UNDO THIS TO MYSELF!!!!

WHo would have known that I would workout for an hour a day? Whatever has changed in me ( probably my mind state) I am happy. It is making me unstable in other areas of my life…lol..because I am afraid that I will fail or afraid of what being fit will bring to my life….but I will work on that part when it gets here. Today…today I am happy! And much like my Live Now Fitness T-shirt says… Train Hard, Or Go Home! Thankfully I am already in my home….lol… but I am still training hard. I have also learned that pain does not mean you are working hard… it could mean that you are working incorrectly. I am only sore for a few hours when I wake up in the morning and the stiffness disappears as the day goes on. It doesn’t mean that I have not worked out like I was supposed to, the sweat pouring in crevices that I think God forgot he created is evidence enough that I am stepping outside of my comfort zone and working it out.

Enough of my victory. What was your victory today?

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Think Like a Hoe… Act Like a Lady

 

        For ages our mothers have taught us to always be a lady in the street, while magazines tell us to be freaks in the sheets….just to have a book tell us that the male ego can’t stomach the idea of his woman having had practice sexually before meeting him, thus making you undateable. I say….MAN THE HELL UP!  But those words wont get you into a meaningful relationship. So, I say….think like a hoe, but act like a lady.

        Popular belief would mix and match that very theory…. and I am highly aware that I did not just reinvent the atom here, but work with a sister will you. The reason women don’t really get along with one another is because of two very simple reasons:

1. She was once naive and some more experienced girl came along and blew her dreams out of the water and now she is weary of every female; Good Girl Gone Bad Syndrome

2. She was the loose girl in the group who would do what the others wouldnt but always couldn’t get the guy or the relationships that the others could; Hoe Gone Remorseful Syndrome.

        The reason why I don’t leave a female, even a friend, around my good man is because…”if the woman thought anything like I had to in order to get him…” , I’d have to kill her. Women are ruthless. They say that men are hunters by nature. Cute. We sent you all out into the woods while we hunted out which route we would take to capture you. We are architects of manipulation, sorry…but we are. Why do you think it takes us so long to get dressed? Even our outfits are battle gear preparing us to go out on the battlefield and attack the enemy in order for us to win the war. Make-up;war paint. Heels; couture army boots. Girdles, push-up bras, and spanks; camoflauge! lmao!!!!! Women, since the beginning of time, have been the baited traps that the guys fall for, and yet somewhere they thought that they were catching us when we were catching them….if I ruined anyone’s idea of this set up….my bad, your fault (stole that from my brother…lol. Thanks, Dre)

        Yes, Biblically speaking you are supposed to wait to be found…..but it is where you place yourself and how you behave that will get you found. CHURCH IS NOT THE PLACE TO BE FOUND!!!! Girl, people are supposed to be finding Jesus and not your cooking skills at the annual bake sale for choir robes. Clubs are not the place to be found. Between the Ciroc and dim lights, you have to wonder if his judgment is just in picking you. You can still follow the old adage of being found, but having control in how you are found. Notice I said how… not when… don’t hit me up complaining that you havent been found yet. That’s a personal problem.

        Athletic and Celebrity groupies have the right idea, but wrong execution. They hang out after all events, creep up to the hotel rooms, and try to get pregnant just to stake claim to the fortune of a celebrity. Some are successful but even then many never make it past the baby mama and jump off stage. Then you have the ladies who dress appropriately but shut out every single guy who doesn’t fit her criteria…..wrong idea, semi right execution. I say wrong idea is because you are supposed to experiment, find out what it is that you really like, plus experience REALISTICALLY what the world is willing to give back to you. The semi-right execution is in being honest with what you will and wont take and moving on to the next one if it doesn’t work out. So what would happen if we mixed the two? Maybe then we would get the girl who would place herself in intellectual settings, dressed appropriate, not allowing herself to be objectified while still maintaining her game face. Thinking like a hoe , but acting like a lady.

        I could be wrong, I doubt it…and again I know that I am not saying anything new. But honestly…. this technique needs to be used. Have that “larger than life” appeal about you that the groupies have, but then execute your approach like a deaconess and watch the guys become baffled over the fact that they cant figure out how to get you. They say they don’t like game… BULL….because as soon as you admit how you really feel they think that the chase is over and they retreat like soldiers on the outside of the Trojan horse. I think that I can appropriately call this the Lysistrata Movement. Or as Medea would say it, “Clink, Clink”. lol.

        As women, we have the urge to be sensual and sexual, men are not the only ones, but we must learn how to control that urge and remain ladies in trying to reach that ultimate relationship with a guy. Protecting his frail ego and our reputation go hand in hand…and once you forget one you lose the other as well. It is a balancing act that we must always keep in our heads. It must whisper to you like your bladder right before you get on a roller coaster.

        But then again….I’m single….so I may not know what I am talking about… but all of my friends’ boyfriends love the way that I calm down their women and get the ladies to see things from his perspective. So, there is that to think about too…..it is always the single woman who gets the man…hint hint. So maybe it wouldn’t hurt to listen to one in order to keep him. Just a thought. *Wink*

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~