200 Men Said…. :Internet vs Grammar

     There is nothing sexier than an intelligent man…..besides a man who can cook. But we can always order out if he at least knows how to pronounce hors d’oeuvre. And yes, I know, intelligence is not displayed merely by the graduate degrees he has placed meticulously on his wall to showcase what his intelligence got him. I know that it is much more than that. Common intelligence, also known as common sense, can get you to some far away places that people with degrees can only fathom because they can’t get those places out of their doctoral theory phases. So one may be intelligent and not look it, while another looks it and not truly be it. But, if you are indeed intelligent, wouldn’t you want to appear intelligent as well?

        Many times, I hate people who do not know what the HELL they are talking about and try so very hard to use big words, their verb-noun agreements are disagreeing daily, and their double negatives keep multiplying like BeBe’s kids. You automatically deem them unintelligent, correct? Because an intelligent person would showcase themselves in an intelligent manner. Now, I’m not saying that they must use big words or pronounce everything properly…though that would be nice….but the execution of their thoughts must be intellectual. As a person with degrees, I don’t know how NOT to write as if I went to college and actually paid attention in class. My inner coding won’t allow me to write as such. Yes, I do mess up and should use spell check or grammar check my comma usage, but for the most part…I think that I am very well understood in both my lingual/spoken and written formats. Is it too much of me to wish that others would do the same?

        Now, before I go any further, I would like to say that I wanted to see what 200 men would say about the topic of spelling and proper grammar usage….so in no way is this to bash them and their writing techniques. Everyone is entitled to their own slice of reality and to function in that reality how they please. It really did make me wonder why most people, particularly guys, didn’t see the need in having proper writing skills. It is almost etched into a girl’s head that she must be intelligent and scholarly, so who is to be my mate if I possess these skills? It is almost a turn off to see guys speak to me at, what I deem to be, a 5th grade level. I want a man who writes his thoughts out and I can read them with ease, and understand his truth. It is so sexy, actually.  So, I guess this blog is to bring forth the reason behind why so many people are not writing properly, the reason why some give, and the effect that such improper use has on people.

        When I am on the internet, daily I get messages that I simply delete. Having done so I had to search for a few examples of this foolishness that I still had in my inbox. Messages such as:

baby, am very impress to talk to you [name] bu name,nice to meet you again…….Can you send your email address to me know so that we can talk better…. hisname@yahoo …….. his phone number….. Love you  [2deep: I’ve NEVER met this dude, soooooo why did he say meet you again? ]

Or this

dam luv your sexz as shit

Or my favorite is when people get mad at me

and girl was was mesg back and forth so i don’t see how u went pass my note cuz when u don’t answer a note it still shows up when u log on and don’t give me that people make mistakes crap im not a child and god bless u

This one was angry at me too…lmao!

i don’t want to learn a lesson if i cant get to kno u better as a friend then never mind im not here to learn shit thats y i finish skool but like i said if i cant get to kno u better then never mind somebody mite need that lesson not me i kno how to talk to a woman i kno how to treat a woman n last but not less i kno how to RESPECT a WOMAN n also woman is not QUALITY they are queens

        I wish I could find the one of the guy from Michigan who told me that he was a “lowya” for 5 years. TRUE SHIT! I couldnt make this up if I tried! You see what I am working with? I am not asking for a guy to write to me with Shakespearean sonnets, but can he write to me in Standard American English? What is this trend of lowercase and run-on sentences? Can you help a sister out? Fake like this sentence is a night after unprotected sex and you can’t wait for me to have my period. Don’t worry….the messages above aren’t from any of the guys below. I wouldn’t do that to them. But I would want them to write to me like grown men. Like, the intelligent men that I know they are based on the advice that they give. I actually smile when I get a message from a guy who writes well, not perfect, but well. Like the time when I had a conversation about skin color and the guy wrote back with this:

Damn. It’s sad that anyone would have that mind state but I understand where you’re coming from.  It’s crazy that the green eye test is still having its effect on Black people. To think Blacks would let something as vague as skin color to completely separate themselves from each other and dictate how they treat each other. I wouldn’t treat anyone any different because of their skin color even though I might prefer a certain tone. Unfortunately, for too many of us, we allow anglos, latins, etc. to tell US what true beauty is because of our history. It’s just so stupid to me.

        I SWEAR I ALMOST TOUCHED MYSELF!!! He was able to keep my attention ( And he is one of the men replying below…lol). I think guys forget that women are mental (then emotional) creatures. We live a good percent of our day in our own heads. If you can take our attention from whatever we are dreaming up then you are half way there. Something about a guy who can write well would lead me to BELIEVE that he can speak well. Then, in my mind, I picture him teaching our kids to become baby Einsteins while I read a good Eric Jerome Dickey novel while sipping on tea on the sun porch. I guess that is what it all boils down to, are you smart enough to entertain my intelligence and should we ever procreate, are you smart enough to keep my babies out of Remedial English or Special Ed? 

So, 200 men were asked:

I’m BIG on proper spelling and grammar use! Actually, I’m turned off by its improper use. Do you feel that writing properly is important when conversing on the internet or is it overrated? Why?

        I would also like to point out that, usually, I edit and correct what the guys write so that my readers can read fluently and grasp the concept faster. Today, I’m not doing it. It actually takes more time for me to edit than to write my long drawn out version of why I chose to write the post. So….. after sending the question out….the ones who made it back in time for my deadline said this:

1.  Chris C: Not really. I believe you can tell a person’s level of intelligence from their conversation. After all, I was graded on my spelling and grammar for seventeen plus years and excelled at a high level…by the way, you forgot the apostrophe after “its”…lol [2deep: See, I love a man who knows that I made a grammatical error….so sexy! lol]
2. ”DUKE” BANNER: yes i do my queen that shows intelligents
3. Sincere: yes it is important, because i shouldn’t have to break a code to understand what you are trying to say
4.  Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: on the internet…its okay to use internet grammar but on the phone r in person its a diff thing….
5. Young ’84 T2G: I feel it isn’t that important, as long as the person you are talking to understands what you are saying. Some people know how to spell perfectly but choose to break down words because its less typing or because they’re just used to texting on there phone.
6. H. Xavier: overated,because i say,lol
7.  Blackstallion: I don’t think it’s overrated do to the fact that some people just would not like to spell the full word out, this is just like texting (short and straight to the point.
8. Kip S:  With the internet and texting, whatever gets the message across the easiest. Now, if it is formal writing…IT HAS TO BE PROPER
9.  Simon B: a lot of my stuff is run off as long as the person can understand what he are she is saying i don’t think it should be a problem ez up a lil bit
10.  DJ Urban Cowboy: I feel its proper to an extent. If your too much of a stickler for grammar, you can come off snooty. At the same time if you text sounds like something from a rap lyric or trailer park party invitation it can come of as uneducated or trashy.
11. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well to me conversing online with proper grammar speaks a lot about that individual. Some people knows how to switch it up, but proper grammar does intrigues me about that person.
12. Black Kryptonite aka the KID:  it is not overrated, we all make typos though and if you can get the simple sentence structure down then. Move on to the next person who can is proper when communicating on the Internet
13. Lateef25:  depends if you just small talking ot are you speaking on a important topic
14. Aries Brotha: I feel it’s nessessary to only when carrying on a conversation with someone that’s like-minded. And can appreciate proper edicate be it in a conversation, email, or letter. Too many times misspelled words and hidden meanings cause a disruption .
15.  P Reddz: Sometimes it is easier and more convenient to just ;how should it freessyle type.It it good to use proper grammer though.It shows that you are well educated
16. James F: i would like to understand what a person is saying but if i don’t its not a big deal to me…its overrated if they you use proper grammer cool if not thats cool too..its whatever with me
17. Hit me up on facebook-UB:  Its important because when writting on the internet you would want to understand the information that person is trying to writting. Some people would write like “wats up mi boi” or “wat it iz”. That why I think its overrated…..
18. RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]:  a little over rated
19. Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Overrated cuz its Just casual chat! ppl type faster with less attn on grammar n spelling…they want the quickest n shortest route 2 saying wateva the want 2 say!…
20. Delonte M:  No I personally don’t think it’s a big issue. Depending on how I feel, I’ll type proper or with slang. I’ll talk to you proper since that’s what you like though
21. Young fresh to D:  not really only when handling businees
22. Horace J:  I think it’s overrated. As I tell my creative expression students “you are writing talk”. The importants lies on communicating yourself. Being understood and being understanding is paramount on this medium.. Ya gettin dat der gurl? Southern Slang.
23. Live And Love or LAL: Its overated, because you are talking to friends not business men and women. There is a time to but your business mind on and there is a time you just relax your brain

 And my favorite one of all is:

• …….:  Overrated,it’s only the internet not english class.

         True, it is the internet, but the internet is apart of this world; was English Class not to prepare us how to properly communicate with the rest of the world? Someone said that it’s overrated because I am talking to friends. What kind of friends do you have? My friends are geniuses!!!! lol. One friend of mine, since 3rd grade, has her doctorate in Chemistry, another stays in school so much that I have no clue what her degrees are but the girl is a knowledgeable beast! My guy friends give the best wisdom ever. And one of my big brothers didn’t go to college, but every time he hits a mic and spits he shuts the room down with his lyrical genius and word play. He gets paid to use his words and he does so beautifully. I honestly cannot think of anyone in my inner circle of friends who does not speak the way in which I type to them.

         Yes, I use shorthand when conversing online, but I also make sure that I establish and separate myself from the people who may appear less intelligent than I. And it wasn’t until now that I realized or even confessed that I did such a thing. I guess I wanted everyone to appear smart. I wanted them to put their best foot forward at all times and wait until you get completely comfortable with someone BEFORE you get lazy with the typing. I know that spelling and grammar doesn’t mean that you are smart or purely intelligent, but it sure doesn’t hurt, right?  And I know that there are a SEA of mistakes on my part running all up and through this blog, but for the most part…..you can somewhat get a glimpse of my intelligence…. I hope. And I hope that you are still able to see the true intelligence of my guys who participated. They have kept me cracking laughing, thinking of more questions for them to answer because they keep giving me so much insight and wisdom. I just don’t want their wisdom and insight to be lost in a sea of grammatical errors. Its hard enough in this world.

         Especially when it comes to guys, I want them to know that to appear to being intelligent is just as important as actually being intelligent. You don’t want a golden opportunity to pass you by just because you didn’t see a need in properly expressing who you really are on the inside. And I could be making a big deal out of nothing, but I don’t think that I am. Making our guys see their worth at ALL times is such an important thing to me. I don’t want them to be passed over because a judgmental wench, like me, deletes your notes because I don’t want to get a headache trying to read a massive run-on sentence. I want them to be able to capture every woman’s attention, every boss’ attention, hell…the world’s attention every time they write, the talk, and they walk into a space. I think that they all deserve the extra level of awareness that I have. I don’t feel I am being an elitist, but I do feel like I might be an heir to Grandison, and it is just in me to go back and get the people who are still back home and help them to freedom.  That’s all. [Click Here to read The Passing of Grandison by Charles W. Chestnutt. its a Short Story….one that all Africans and African-Americans need to read.]

         If you have kids…..please let them read this blog… or pass along the message. Teens are the #1 culprit when it comes to internet typing and texting and it is hurting their true education because they can easily hit spell check and never really learn how to spell or check their grammar. We are letting the internet make our people dumb… and that is all that I have to say about that!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Is the Male a Temple?

As I have mentioned before, I have 2 nephews, 4 brothers, and 7 godbrothers…so the plight of man has become a big deal to me. I have no clue why I care so much, but I do. It often times baffles me how we can place so much concern into our women and not instill the same values in our men that would allow them to appreciate those in his girl when he sees them. There is a HUGE disconnect here.

As a girl I was taught to respect my body, make people earn me, and how every guy is not worthy enough to even step next to me. But I don’t think that my male siblings were taught the same things. I know for a fact a ton of my guy friends were not taught the same things. Or maybe they were, but it was for different reasons. Maybe they were taught by their mothers to not be with every girl but only for the purpose of not getting her pregnant or to get a girl of quality pregnant if it should occur. I know this could be an exaggeration, but who knows what is taught in opposition of my feminine training via the Man Code handbook. I just don’t think that our men are getting the same core messages as our girls as we grow up.

We are quick to point a finger and call a guy a dog before we help. Women are excelling in school and in the work place faster than guys and THIS in turn messes with the head of household dynamic. Has anyone else seen the connection? Has anyone reached out? We see guys flashing their private parts in their profile pics, vying to get as many girls as possible to sleep with them in a month, and abusive self behaviors. This saddens me when I see it. I reach out and ask the guy what makes him do this, why does he think this behavior is appropriate and many times I don’t get an answer.  SO I decided to ask my 200 men directly to see what they think.

200 men were asked:

Do you, as a man, feel that you were taught to value your body, treat it as a temple, or to make people earn you? If not, do you think those things are important to you? Or are they meant only for women?

As usual, I wish I had the patience to copy past 200 responses, but I don’t… so here is what some of them said:

1. big slim: I LUV ME..AND MY BODY MEANS EVERYTHING 2 ME
2. Bear0007: It is meant for every one love, God gave us these bodies to be his temple and treat it as such.
3.  Black Kryptonite aka the KID: I think as a black young male, we are taught that are bodies will get us far in life whether with sports or women. It is important to maintain a healthy body for a long life.
4. Sybree B: I feel that a man and a woman should treat their body as their temple because it shows how they actually feel about themselves.And it shouldn’t matter as long as you have self-confidence..
5. Code Name Bigsexy: only for women.as a man you were never taught to do any thing [so] your body tells you [to] go get it if you like it.i think
6. Ddouble R: (1) yes in many ways like tatts and Piercing they’re all good but why mess with perfection? it tells people you like how you look, so handle me with care. (2) no that’s dealing with everyone….. goes both ways….
7. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well i was raised by a Single mom and Sisters, the values that were instilled in me was that i should treat my body with the utmost respect and shouldn’t be desecrated. So i have very high value for my body.
8. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Although these things were taught to me they are not taught to the majority of males… Society teaches that boys will be boys. They are important to me but it all depends on your background
9. James M: I wasn’t taught to value my body in a traditional way like at home. I only learned those things when I started playing sports at high school and college levels. Learning to eat right and stay in shape is something everyone can benefit from.
10. Eric R: yes, i was taught to treat my body like a temple.
11. James L: I had to learn to value my temple. I was taught by my mom to be a good person. When I started reading the bible it taught me to honor God with my body. It’s very important to live a balanced life. Men should stand strong just like women should.
12. Chris C: Never really thought about it…some good food for thought!…I’ll get back to you on this one!
13. Aries Brother: For the first part of this question..No I wasn’t. It is something I learned myself as time came and went. I do feel it is important to be conscientious of what we put in our body. But we don’t always want what is good to, and [good] for us in this life.
14. Dezi: I was raised to always value my body and when you do my body(temple) will display itself so society will see it. And yes I believe men should be earned and not compromised. Also the Male body was always for the WOMAN to enjoy.
15. Jeff C: I think I was taught that but I have learned .

 

The one thing that sticks out to me is that just about EVERY guy thought that treating his body like a temple meant to feed it right and to work out. Not one thought about the sexual aspects and the access that they give people to their bodies. There is a disconnect here. Why are our young men not receiving the message that they too are worth the wait? Why are they not making these chicken head girls work for them? Why is the easy was desired over the road less traveled? Dont they know that the road less traveled is a gold mine full of prime self-respect real estate just waiting for people to come scoop it up? Not one really mentioned that they stick to such strict guidelines as the girls do. We’ve got to change this!!!!! We’ve got to produce better boys that will become better gentlemen and then on to be better Men period!!!! I think I just found another one of my life’s calling by starting this series. I’m here to help my fellow man! I’m okay with that, because the better they are, the better the world will be!!!!

~Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~