So, recently I wrote 2 blogs An Independent Woman’s Place [<~Click Here] and [Click Here~>] Deuces Dos & Donts, and the answers that I got back from them had a lot in common; Let the Man be a Man. WTF!? I have no clue what that means. I am just being honest. People say it all the time, but is there a Wikipedia page about letting a man be a man? Is it different in different cultures? Should the woman go by her culture or learn what that means in her man’s culture? Can you upgrade it? Find it on Amazon? WHAT!!!? You can’t come at me all ambiguous and what not. Didnt you tell me that one of the things that women need to do is to communicate EXACTLY what we are thinking because you can’t read our minds? Guess what…this doesn’t mean what you think it means. So, what does it REALLY mean to “let a man be a man”?
Okay…I’m a big girl, I can admit when I need help. So, I needed help trying to figure out what this meant. Because in all honesty, in woman code, this translates to “Shut up woman and fix me some food”. You might as well call me a bitch and put me in geisha make-up. The phrase almost implies that a woman has the power to stop you from being a man, which then suggests the question of “why should I be with you if I can stop you from being a man?”. No, don’t shoot the messenger… I’m just saying…this phrase is looking a little swiss cheese-ish to me.
Well, when I hear it I speculate that he means that he needs to be in control at that moment, or that I have stepped on his manhood a little too much. That is all I can do….. speculate. But… I also think that there are several different ways to let a man be a man, and each one is a sign of how much of a man the woman is dealing with. For instance, my godmother has this way of politely saying my godfather’s name that will shut the sentence down and change the topic. She was letting him be the man, in my opinion, but not embarrassing him nor letting him embarrass himself. He still got to maintain his pride. I have never , and I mean NEVER seen her raise her voice at him. Now what goes on in the privacy of that bedroom when you hear her call his name politely down the hall….that is on them. I am sure they have had disagreements… I have never seen it. The one thing that I have caught by accident is when my dad left his wallet at home after she reminded him to get it, he didn’t. So we’re at the restaurant and he is entertaining friends and family and the check comes. My mother knew what was about to happen, and I saw her playing around in her purse and then she slipped her credit card under the table and into his lap under his hand without missing a beat. THAT was letting my father remain a man so that he could place the card on the table and pay the bill. But, in letting him be a man, she had to be a woman to see what was needed and assist him. I have a STRONG feeling that guys around my age don’t see that as the definition of Letting a Man be a Man. So I asked them.
I asked my 200 Men…..
On my last question I saw pretty much the same response. What does “let the man be the man” mean to you and what should a woman do, or not do, to let the “man be the man”?
And since I never read the comments until I come back through to edit the formatting of the post…. I have no clue what you are about to read. The 200 Men Said….
Danny P: All of this isn’t this complicated. When it’s right, the two involved in the relationship are who they are and the couple is still one. All this [means is] let [it] be [the way in] which [it] is… if [letting] the person be who they are is [them being a ] cheating fool or something… well uh duh
Allen Ozark: ??? not sure.
Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Its means, let the man think he’s in control even if you’re in control. Also, all duties that are designed for a man…let him do them even if you’re better. Eventually, if he’s a real man he’ll admit that you’re better at whatever and come to you for assistance, and rightfully so. [2Deep: This man never ceases to amaze me. But let him be in control even when he isnt…..isnt that lying? lol. Okay, Lie to my man. Check!]
DSMILEY1: Let the man be the man: in charge of houses chores like cutting the grass & washing the cars. Sometimes its good to switch out but [it] wouldn’t be the same
: !: it means if you have a Real Man, he leads the household in decisions..basically the King..but that doesn’t mean he is a tyrant. He should listen to advice from his wife and make good decisions. Basically, the way the Bible portrays it.
Lateef25: maybe not nag so much about what you want. just tell him in a nice way or let it go
Kycajrome L: I believe [it] comes from the Old school archetype of when the Man was the provider and fixer of everything in the household…depending how a man was raised some still hold those values ,times are a little diff, but old or new ,Respect is what a MAN wants
on the rocks…: that statement is self explanatory.far be it for a man to explain what it is to be a man.especially to woman these days. they seem to have their own blueprint for us.lol ..check every 3rd female profile and it’ll have a laundry list of what a “REAL” man is
Now you all know that I wasnt going to just STOP at some of these answers. So some side conversations came from them and they went a little something like this:
Vince V: I think that those answers are coming from men who feel insecure about their position in the household and basically wants the woman to run everything through him and let him have the final say so in what goes on in their relationship. when in my opinion a secure man who has good communication with his partner would trust his woman to be able to act as an extension of him to make good decisions with both his and her best interest at heart , but communication being the key. [2Deep: I simply love this answer…. he can stay…lmao]
Me: Sooooooooooo I noticed you said that a “woman to be able to act as an extension of him” What does that mean? And why cant it be the other way around? Just playing devil’s advocate here
Vince V: ok miss devil’s advocate….lol Traditionally the man would always be considered the head of the household because he was the bread-winner. but as times have changed and women have become less dependent on men; whether it be cause of equality between men and women, or financial responsibilities within a relationship. the level of the playing field has evened out, and either one could be considered the “head”. but sticking with tradition, even though the field is even, with the male being the head; any actions performed by the woman would be considered “okayed” by the man, to anyone outside that relationship. which would mean she was just doing it for him cause he cant get to it. Now it can work the other way around but then that would not be a traditional type relationship, plus then you might have a man with a really hurt ego about holding up the appearance of being the man of the house.
Me: Soooooooo what is a woman not suppose to do without her man’s permission?
Vince V: have sex with someone else….j/k lol a woman doesn’t need her man’s permission to do anything….but a woman or a man in a good relationship keeps open lines of communication with each other. especially when decisions that are to be made affect one another.
Me: Okay….so to let a man be a man is to keep an open line of communication with him. That’s it? ( I swear you’re gonna get sick of me…lol) But I am trying to make sure that I understand before I post it.
Vince V: no, to let a man be a man is to let him run everything and make all the decisions and don’t question the things that he does. but i would personally like having the input of my woman in every decision that i make for us, and vice versa .
Me: How is THAT being a man?!!! That sounds like a dictatorship!!!!! OH I SWEAR YALL WILL BE SINGLE FOR LIFE WITH THAT ATTITUDE!!! lmao
that is just the way life has traditionally put men with women. but like i said, as for me ,i like having the input of my woman cause i feel like it keeps us closer and more in touch with each other
Me: Gotcha! No prob….. I thought that you had great insight… My readers should hear it. Oh.. wait.. my fault. I didn’t let the man be the man. *submits* am I allowed to put your comment on my page? lmao!
Vince V was my favorite response, but I simply had to post my comments from Chub L. He keeps me cracking up and yet he still knows when to be serious. So here are his responses:
Chub L: Let the man be the man – let him get that door etc… Let him do for you what you shouldn’t have to do for yourself as his queen.
Me: That was your answer…. so what am I not suppose to do for myself as his queen?
Chub L:In the world that we live in today – It’s basically everybody for themselves, but my queen shouldn’t have to get her own door, ever. Everything else is pretty much up for grabs. I don’t have a problem with a woman’s independence at all. Whatever my independent queen will allow me to do for her is gravy. No qualms here. I’m open-minded – we can get the darn door for each other.
Me: So, it really is that important to a man to feel needed in a relationship? But is it just with tangible things? Does a man ever feel the need to be needed emotionally? Meaning, if she doesn’t want you to get the door but needs you to hold her every night… would you feel like less of a man?
Chub L: Being emotionally needed is even more of a necessity. The Queen needs for her king to not only be her rock while she’s awake -but to rock her to sleep and all the more rock her while she’s asleep. It is for the good of both. If my queen is kept happy then hence I will also be kept happy.
So, then… why do you think so much emphasis is placed on a man doing tangible things versus him being there for her in the emotional times?
Chub L : I haven’t got a clue – I can only speak for me – I do both. Many swear that what one does or demonstrates declares what they feel. That is true BS – we as human beings still need to hear and feel what mere tangible things can never satisfy.
Soooooooo are you still as confused as I am? I don’t want to be alone, so don’t leave me out here alone on Confusion Island. I mean, I get it…. but I don’t get it. So, as long as I allow my man to do “things” for me, then he feels like a man and all is gravy. So, I shouldnt have to touch a door in the presence of a man, pull out a chair, or cut my grass ( I don’t know, so I am halfway there), and let him make all of the decisions. I have a feeling that there is a gray area here that is in need of a dye job. It can’t be that friggin simple. So if I live by these few rules I am allowing my man to be a man? SWEET!
Okay, all jokes aside. I think it all boils down to respect. Do I respect my man to hear him out when he verbalizes his needs? Do I validate him when needed? Does he have an equal part in this relationship? I think THAT is where his concerns lay. Anything else is a dictatorship and it isnt going to happen over here. Respect for Respect should be the basis on which this blog should be concluded to. And Scene.
So, while on Twitter I asked some of my female followers to hit me up with questions that they wanted my 200 men to answer and I have several questions to ask until I die…lol. But one was in reference to the place of an independent woman in a relationship. Other questions trickled from that one question, but this post will be specifically about an independent woman in her relationship.
Often times we hear how you have to be an independent woman, learn to stand on your own two feet, don’t rely on a man because all men are dogs yadda, yadda, yadda. Then on the flip side, we must learn how to Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man. How can I when no one is wanting to give up the man code? lol. Just kidding. But in all seriousness…. the world, right on down to the Bible thumpers, would have you believing that in order to be in a committed relationship you must relinquish your feminine family jewels and trade them in for a hot stove, bare feet and Kate plus 8. How 50’s is that. My last name is NOT Stepford. So, are we allowing the world to tell females everywhere that they cannot excel in order to make a man’s ego feel at ease just to have a relationship? I hope not, because then I am going lesbian.
There has to be a balance, right? There has to be a time where a woman can handle business like a strong and independent woman during the day and be able to submit to her man. Notice I said submit.. not bow down to, not stand behind, not be belittled by. I left my father’s house because I was grown… I BE DAMNED if I go into another man’s house and feel as if I can’t be the strong person that MY FATHER raised me to be in opposition of many of these knuckle heads. So, you actually have the good fathers to blame…lol. And yes, I know I am exaggerating, but if the exaggeration can be handled then everything else will be cleared up in its path as well.
So…. 200 Men were asked:
Often times black women are made to feel bad for being independent women. Do you think that there is a place for an independent woman in a relationship w/ a man or does she have to change?
Ladies, back away from anything that has breath and high levels of testosterone. TRUST ME on this one. I havent even read the comments yet, I never read them before I write my part, so I have no clue what is going to be said.
My men responded with:
DSMILEY1: I like independent women because it makes us grow faster & makes life easier on choices we make together
Chub L: There is nothing wrong with being independent, but also allow a real man to be the man. Hey it’s truly a new day in our wonderful society for different levels off independence, but chivalry does not have to die in order for independence to live.
Kycajrome L: I almost want to say this is a silly question but, I know better, LOL so i’ll say if [you’re] independent you won’t feel bad about being you (with out an attitude)…if some else can’t handle it….
MIAMI’S SON IS BACK !!!: are u serious !! you took the time to ask me that dumb ass question!! but its called self-esteem, meaning the esteem of ones self. so if you have to ask that question, then your not independent !!!! your a poor excuse of a person [2Deep: I had to rip him a new one separately. Funny how people assume that all of these questions are personally mine. I have women sending me questions on Twitter, and even if someone asks, it could be for research purposes and it doesn’t make them dumb.. like this ass! That’s why I am not going to correct his grammar errors. Because if you’re going to call someone else dumb you might want to know how to use “you’re”…lmao!]
!: Never a problem for an independent woman being in a relationship but when it comes to the household, she needs to realize the man is the head of household, it’s a reason God set it that way…just like in all other species. You [can’t] have 2 leaders.
dorrance: yes but u have 2 make time for each other if not then, no, it wont work
DJ Urban Cowboy: I don’t think any [man] wants a woman who can’t support herself. There is little room to flaunt or boast your independence. If [you’re] so independent that you have to boast about it, then you don’t need your man.
Marcel: If a woman would allow herself to be made to feel in such a manner because of her independence then that is not at all a woman. A woman knows what its is in which she desires, wants and deserves.
Code Name Bigsexy: THERE IS ROOM.BUT I THINK THE WOMAN STILL HAS TO LET THE MAN BE THE MAN
Vince V: Yes there is a place for her. as long as she is not always throwing it up in the mans face like she doesnt need him for anything and vice versa. because that would be a lie. to make a “relationship” work it takes 2 people, being there for each other mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. and no neither person should have to change period unless they want to for some reason. i embrace the independent black women. i think that Ne-Yo, Jamie Foxx, and Fabolous state it best in Ne-Yo’s “Independent Remix”
My FAVORITE ANSWER CAME FROM:
CHRIST- O: I DONT WANT A WOMAN THAT CANT STAND ON HER OWN. AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN HAS A GLOW ABOUT HER THATS WHY SHE STANDS OUT IN A CROWD. TWO INDEPENDENT PPL MAKE A GREAT COUPLE.
Get your glow on ladies!!!
Okay… so I lied.. I ended up reading this one as I was going back and editing. I love this one too:
Prestige “The One And Only”: She never has to change, a real woman will never have to compromise who she is naturally. Independent, stubborn, opinionated…is sexy and a black woman will and should remain such while still being able to allow a man to play his role as a provider.
(This comment sparked another question that will come up in a future blog. [Will post link Here])
And of course, when a response catches my attention, I have to jump in and get clarification. So I began a conversation below:
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: I know I’m late on this one but I had to really think on it… I don’t think there is anything wrong with an independent woman in or out of a relationship but I don’t think some woman should get into a relationship if they just feel like they don’t want someone they can lean on when they need too. Some women take it to a certain level that can sometimes make their man or anybody feel unnecessary…. Just for example, sometimes the simplest thing like allowing a man to open a door for them… I have experienced women who actually give off an attitude when I have tried to do things like that… And I’m like “Wow, you don’t even want your door opened? That makes you less independent?” And I just think women go overboard with the “Independent Woman” thing.
Me: How are they going overboard?
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: They are going overboard because they are starting to take men being polite and chivalrous as trying to impede on their independence.
Me: Oh okay, so how does it make you feel when a woman does that? And how can she be independent and make her man feel validated at the same time?
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Everybody wants to feel needed by the person they are with and any real man would be impressed with a woman who can handle her own but if she makes him feel as though he is unnecessary that’s when it gets to be a problem… It’s the simple things… let him open a door, lift a box, yes a woman can do it for herself but a gentleman should never let her. I’m begging women in my life now to do their part in reviving and keeping chivalry alive.
Me: So it makes you feel needed? And you like doing those things? Do you ever think to give her emotional support too? Or must it always be tangible things?
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: I’m not in a relationship now… but when I was I was more than capable of giving emotional support… but try giving that to a woman who feels like she being babied if a man is just concerned about her. For example I may say “baby are you alright?” because I sense something is wrong with her… her response may be something like “don’t worry about me I’m gonna always be ok… So what am I here for if I don’t or can’t do anything for you?
So, That is a testament to the type of woman who you chose to be with… that is NOT an independent woman. That is a dysfunctional female…lmao!
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Well when they are addressed they identify themselves as independent woman… and if that the case I would hate to view every woman who came off “overly independent” as “dysfunctional women” But I will if I have too…LOL Now on the other hand if you are implying that “independent women” as a whole have perfect balance we would have to agree to disagree and I would do so purely from my personal experiences.
Me: I disagree because a person who must announce does not or is not. You don’t go around on a daily basis shouting “I’m a Man!” So, if she feels she is truly independent people will tell her, but you will never hear her cast that title on herself. It is the imbalanced and dysfunctional females playing dress-up in a real woman’s clothing that feel the need to shout how independent that they are. Because, in all honesty, an independent woman can’t wait for a man… THE RIGHT MAN…to come along and compliment her strength. When she feels safe enough, she will hand him her entire load and gladly let him have it so that she can be power woman at the office and a catered woman at night. So again… we mustn’t let our experiences overshadow the facts of the matter. If I let my experiences with dudes overshadow the facts of what a man is supposed to be…..we wouldnt even be having this conversation. So I’ll continue to separate dogs from men if you promise to separate faux females in dress-up mode from independent women. Because Independent woman does not mean independent from the love and support of a man, it means she is independent from the stereotypes placed on her by association with her gender and excels in spite of barriers. Capiche?
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Capiche! You have my word and trust I’m not saying that I don’t have hope that I will one day find a woman of that caliber I just can’t speak on what hasn’t happened… But my eyes, heart and mind are open the very possibility of that opportunity…
Me: Until then… you can’t say that you have come in contact with an independent woman then. You have come in contact with women who are trying to prove that they are independent and failing miserably. lol
And then it hit me….. these guys are responding the way that they are because there are imposters out there wearing an Independent Woman’s clothes! Yes…. just as there are boys out there sporting a man’s attire, we have imposters on the woman’s side as well. So, the guys aren’t upset with a true independent woman, but rather her flunkie; her wanna be. This is completely understandable. And unfortunately, there is no way to show him what an independent woman is because much like good men, by the time the people who need to them they have stopped believing in their existence it is seeming too late because the indepedent women have given up. But there is hope.. I know there is. Like I said above, if I havent let me viewpoint of a man change because of a few bad ones, I just ask that men not let their view of the independent woman be tainted because a few imposters just can’t get it right. Each person is an individual and independent of your past relationships and experiences…. this is my belief.
So, I figured that since I ask my 200 men sooooo many questions, I might as well allow them to ask me question or two. So, there is no other rhyme or reason to this blog other than to post the questions that they asked me and for me to answer. I also find it interesting to see what questions they chose to ask me when given the opportunity to do so….lol. Well, here we go.
So I asked my regular 200 Men:
I am ALWAYS asking you a question. Thanks for answering. But if there was one thing that you could ask me and I HAVE to answer it, what MATURE & RESPECTABLE question would you ask?
And they, in return, asked me:
MR. LOVING: Why are you here? What do you do? If you are single, why are you?
WOWZERS! I did say ONE question right? So, since the question is a legally binding statement I get to answer one of these questions. So, I choose the first. I am on [this social network] to meet cool and interesting people; mission accomplished. I love to come here and chat with different people. And 200 Men Said and the Questions application is amazing.
Lateef25: Why are you so curious of what men think?
I think that I am so curious as to what men think is because seldom do we ever hear what you all think. As a woman, magazines are written for women, by women. And if you do get a book about what a man wants or thinks that is written by a man, that is only THAT man’s perspective which cuts out the other 99.99999999 percent of men out there who think differently. So, I though….why not ask 200 Men questions to get a wide range of experiences and opinions. Plus, I have a ton of female followers on Twitter (@_2Deep_) that ask me questions. I give them advice but I think that it means more to have them view what you write as an answer to my question. That way they dont think I’m just another girl giving girl advice, but real men telling them how it is on the other side of the fence. Besides, most of the time I think like guys in certain situations so I am highly guy sensitive..lol. And finally, the world is all about uplifting women… seldom do you see anything male focused… so I thought that I would do my part.
Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Simply 2 Share Ur Knowledge wit Me 2 Help Me Grow In Our God’s Eyes, Mind, Spirit, n Vessel..Thx
I don’t think that was a question…. but thanks just the same. Read my answer to Lateef25 & let me know if you like it.
Chub L: Mature and respectable huh? lol….Anywho!, #1. What gruesome events have transpired in your life that have caused you to be as no non-sense as you are? #2. Why do you like asking me questions?
Ummm…. Check out My blog Advice From the Other Woman , The House My Father Built, and What Happens in this House: A Molestation Survivor Speaks (Click the Blue to read those blogs). There is SOOOOO much more, but that is where it starts. I have come, and continue to come, to the conclusion that those are just things that I have overcome and not situations that define me. So, I made up in my mind that people were not going to run over me or bullshit me and anyone who does will get canceled quick. Hope that answers your question.
rroyallty: How about this: What are some of the most annoying/ignorant questions that you have received from guys on [social networkin site]? Do you 1. respond put them, 2. put them on blast on your wall or 3. just ignore them.
Okay, I see what is happening, everyone thought that they get to ask 2 questions because I said “mature and respectable”. lmao! NOPE! But to answer your question, I think it depends. Sometimes I just dont have the energy to put a guy in his place so they get ignored. Other times I just have to put them in their place, but I do so by using reverse psychology. lol. Like if a guy says something sexual to me that is inappropriate I may tell him that he is so much better than what he is displaying of himself and that he shouldnt even want a female who would reply to that. Other times I just go straight for the nuts and gut check ’em. lol. And yes, sometimes I have placed people on my status just to let the rest of the nut bags know not to mess with me. So, yeh, it depends.
CHRIST- O: Could you, as Queen, express the lady inside you, while taking charge like a real Independent Woman and still be the supporting structure in a serious relationship?
Okay, so I wrote 3 Blogs about this: Lyrically Speaking: Lyfe Jennings~ Hero, 200 Men Said…. An Independent Woman’s Place, and 200 Men Said….Cater to Me (All of which will be posted in the upcoming weeks so come back and check out those links..lol) But to answer your question and not give away the blogs….yes, yes I can. I think that the term independent woman captures all that in its true definition. If I had to pick two eras where I could live comfortably it would be the 90s during the day and the 50s at night. I so much want to be a power house kind of woman during the day and a cater to my man type of woman at night. I dont think that one would take away from the other at all. I don’t have to be under my man all of the time, but when I am I cherish those moments and appreciate them greatly. I believe that in order for me to be there for my man I need to have my life, and my own goals in order to come back to support him by using my experiences and my problem solving skills. The experiences that will build together will be a bonus for me, a bonus that I look forward to. So, now that you have caused me to lose my street credit…. may I move on to the next question? lol.
Black Kryptonite aka the KID: Why do you ask so many questions? After awhile that can kind of become . . . . I think you get the point
LMAO! Well, first…. I thank you for your honesty. Secondly, I ask so many questions because I was just starting the series here on my blog. I didn’t know how long I would have the attention of you all so I thought that I would ask as many questions as I could think of and how ever many questions my Twitter followers could send me. But now that I am actually behind in writing blogs I have slowed down a bit…lol. But I thank you for answering them. I promise not to be a pain in the ass any more.
Code Name Bigsexy: lol. I’m a man so I’ll go with…. are you attracted to me?
LMAO! Sexy… I swear you are a trip and you keep me smiling. I mean… yeh, you could get it. lmao! I would have to let me resident White Boy Drew Law know that you are giving him a run for his money, because I am all ready for a fight over me. hahahah. But I like your straight-forwardness, and how you are you and that you never change. Your character is amazing and is very admirable. So keep doing you boo… it’s sexy. Just don’t take any more prison squat pics…lmao! You know I had to get ya!
!: If you met a guy you really liked but he was only interested in companionship or very close friend with benefits but nothing serious at the moment…would you be okay with that ?
Ummm… would I be seeking a relationship with him? I mean, no matter what I have to listen to what he is saying and NOT what I am interpreting him to say. And yes, I have become good friends with guys that I really liked and over time they remained good friends and I am happy with that. Every guy you like is not meant to be a person that you will date and you have to be mature enough to understand that. Also, as time goes by you find out more about them and become thankful that you didn’t date them…lol. Now the whole frienifits package… ummm… I have only done that once and yeh, never again. I say never again because it becomes pointless to share yourself but not share yourself. It’s like you are a kissing a person you are not in a relationship with and that seems so friggin pointless. Had fun, but never again. He messed it up for everyone. lol. Just kidding, he didn’t mess it up, it just wasnt the arrangement for me to have with him. Lord I am telling too much… NEXT!
ICE: Would you put more pics up of you in a shirt and heels?
Hey rroallty, was this the type of questions you were referring to? lmao! Just kidding, but not! Ummm… ICE, to answer your question… probably not. That was a one time photo shoot and I was the one with the MOST clothes on in the entire house…lol. But I take it that you enjoyed the photos and I thank you for that.
DSMILEY1: Why are you not married yet?
Usually…..I ignore this question. But I will give you an answer because you asked. I am not married because I have yet to be asked by a man for me to marry him. My typical answer, when pressed for one, is because it was not my time to be married or again, my husband hasn’t met me yet. I always find that a weird question to ask a woman, because it is obvious. She hasnt be asked. Now it seems more appropriate to ask a guy since he is the one who does all of the asking. But when the day comes, if the man is the one….. I will say yes. Was that too smart-ass of an answer? I tried so hard not to be…lol.
P Reddz: Are you a shrink or a detective? No disrespect. Your questions are all good questions.
WHy does everyone say that?!!!!! No, I am neither. But it seems like I should be because you are not the first to ask me that. I just think I was supposed to be an investigative journalist of sorts.
BIG SEKZI: What’s your ethnic background
I am a mut! lmao!!! Of course I am African American. My grandmothers are both African-American, my great grandmother on my mother’s side was half Native American and half African. My Great-Great grandmother on my mother’s side was FULL blooded Native American (her picture is beautiful!) & my Great-Great Grandfather was a slave. My mom has that Naija blood in her veins. NIGERIA STAND UP!!!My Dad’s side of the family is sprinkled with Puerto Ricans & Good Ol’ Black Folks…lmao. [Shot out to my cousins, the Garcias] And I was born in Germany….lol. So yeh.. I’m eclectic, to say the least.
PIECE OF WORK!! $$PET$ PET$ PET$$$: What makes you keep conversing with me?
For starters, because you are intelligent enough to use the word conversing. THAT IS SEXY AS HELL!!!! Yeh… you can get it. lol. But because I think you are a mystery and I like that. SO keep being you. Plus, you’re not so bad on the eyes. lol.
”DUKE” BANNER: As a woman of your caliber, would you date a man below your standards because of what he looks like?
Ummmmm. Can I plead the 5th? lmao! Okay, honestly? Yes, I have dated a guy who was dumber than dirt because he was fine as hell. But one day he said he wanted to take me to the National Mall to see the “pencil building.” And if you have the look on your face that I THINK you have… then you would know how I felt when he called the Washington Monument the “pencil building”. I never called him back after that. So, will I ever do it again? Ummm NEGATIVE! I have learned that the very standards that I would like for guys to hold me to and appreciate me for are the very things that I need to appreciate guys for as well. Lesson learned.
…….: How high is the sky? And give me the square mileage of earth?
Since you are my resident smart ass… I had to reciprocate and be a smart ass with ya…lol. FYI….the second part is NOT a question but I shall oblige just the same. So since the term “sky” is so vague I had to get specific as to fully answer your question. So, how high is the sky?:
Troposphere
ground to 6 miles
Stratosphere
6 miles-50 miles
Ionosphere
50-300 miles
Exosphere
300-600 miles
And give you the square mileage of the Earth? No problem, sir. The Earth’s surface is composed of 196,939,900 square miles. I hope that this answers your question. lol.
Aries Brotha: What’s the best way to gain your attention, or get on your good side?
What kind of question is that? That’s like you asking me what is the easiest way to break into my house and where are all of my valuables…lmao! I get what you mean, but I can’t tell you that. What I will tell you is to be you at all times. If who you are works well with my patience level, then you are golden. If it doesn’t, then it was nice knowing you while it lasted. You should also learn not to tell people how to please you because wannabes and fakes will immediately become that to please you. But if people have nothing to go off of but themselves, they will eventually slip up and show you their true colors.
!! MYLES C AKA Mr.Grown-N-Sexxxi !!: Hmmmm, would you be willing to give me a chance?
Gee, Golly, WOW! Straight to the point. Well… my honest answer will be…… Yeh. But by yeh I mean, I am giving you a chance to converse with me. I never promise anything beyond conversation. I don’t know much about you other than what you answer in my blog. So sure… you can converse with me. Who knows what friendship could come from this. But from what I have seen thus far…. you’re pretty amazing. And ….not bad on the eyes either. lol.
Like I said… it was going to be interesting to see what they asked me after the SEA of questions that I have hit them with over the past month and a half. I think these were good questions, but naturally….women are accustomed to asking more and better questions…lmao! I might do this again in the future. Thanks guys!
We’ve all seen her, the girl wearing a dress so short you wonder if she has caught pneumonia in the coochie from the draft that is flowing up her non-existing skirt. Yes, her. Parading around to Beyoncé’s Freak ‘Em Dress like it is a national holiday and the anthem to girls gone wild. Her. And you wonder…..what is wrong with her self-esteem? She can’t possibly think highly of herself if she dresses this way. Or maybe she thinks TOO highly of herself and this is why she dresses this way. Either way, her attire raises some eyebrows and causes some flags to be thrown on the play.
Some how, we as females all get clumped together. Guys see one girl dressing one way and behaving badly equates to majority of the women who dress the same way as women who will behave just the same. Not so. One action does not equate to another action. Like, how I have been blessed with cleavage…blame God b/c it wasnt my choice… but no matter what I put on it is present. I have had the pleasure of hearing comments that I must have worn that shirt that highlighted my cleavage because I wanted a guy to comment on my breast. On the contrary, I didn’t even know this ass munch existed and yet he thought that my attire requested such attention. it wasnt even provocative, just cleavage worthy. It makes me want to cover up even more just top make sure that I don’t get those comments. My covering up may then be interpreted as insecure of my body , when in fact that is not the case. So, what does a woman’s attire actually say about her? Well, I asked 200 men what they thought.
The 200 men were asked:
What does a female’s attire/outfit say to you,as a man, about her self-esteem, confidence, and/or maturity level? How do you approach her or would you?
And again, their responses were very enlightening. Here is how they responded:
Kip S: I can write a book about this. But the way a female dresses says a lot about them. What they feel their assets are or lack there of…and the attention that they want.
Young ’84 T2G: that is a big question..lol. Well as far as u, u seem to dress more sophisticated and mature. I would approach u with the intent just to converse and see where your mind is. (I love it when guys hit on me…lol)
…….: Nothing besides if she’s a good dresser or not
!! @ll YOU Need !: sometimes the more revealing and the tighter the clothes says that she’s looking for attention but she has to be carefull, she just might get the attention & it may be unwanted attention
STEVE B: Depends on the place and the aura she gives. Sometimes clothes can say a lot and sometimes we look too deep into it. Just because a woman dresses conservative does not mean she’s classy and just because a woman comes out half-naked does not mean she’s easy/hoe.
Miguel: Actually, I would say it depends on who wears what ,because an outfit can look trashy on some women and u will be scared to approach them, while on the other hand it can look cute and u really want to go talk to that woman.
Rokk-I La’ VON: I would approach any lady in anything that she wears. The attire doesn’t make the lady! If I am attracted to her, I am going to say hello!
Play: Well an attire tells you everything about a women. From the short skirts that tells you that a female’s looking for attention, to someone that’s covered up that is a lil insecure.
*~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: A female’s attire says a lot about them, it tells me how low is their thought level, confidence and her fear for God. I wouldn’t talk to her.
(!): I don’t judge a woman by whats on the outside but more of whats on the inside..I’ve met women who dressed skimpy yet have a better personality than women who dressed conservatively and were whores…I approach all as a gentleman.
Prestige “The One And Only”: Depends on the outfit. I never assume that the outfit being worn in dictating the type of attention a woman wants. I do however believe that certain outfits are suitable for certain atmospheres. The approach is situational…
K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: A female’s attire means a lot to me. Itas a plus if it matcher ther personality! I wouldnt want a woman dressed up with a bad attituse or a sophisticated lady looking like a street walker. its all in the personality. And I would say, “Hello, May I introduce myself?”
So, maaaaaaaaaaaybe its because I am dealing with a higher quality of males here… because they seem to think that the clothing doesnt make the woman. But I am so very sure that you wouldnt take a girl wearing coochie cutters to meet your mother for the first time. There is a time and a place for all outfits, just like Prestige said.
Ladies, we must know where we are going, what we must encounter, and weigh our options before picking an outfit. Yes, I know that it sucks, but we must present an image of ourselves that reflects the true us. Trust me, you dont want to get confused with the girl who shows up to the club in 20 degree D.C. weather wearing fishnets, heels, and a Playboy Bunny corset swimsuit and expect me to think that you cared about yourself. We have to do better, collectively, so then the guys will get the message. Until then… dress accordingly.
As I have mentioned before, I have 2 nephews, 4 brothers, and 7 godbrothers…so the plight of man has become a big deal to me. I have no clue why I care so much, but I do. It often times baffles me how we can place so much concern into our women and not instill the same values in our men that would allow them to appreciate those in his girl when he sees them. There is a HUGE disconnect here.
As a girl I was taught to respect my body, make people earn me, and how every guy is not worthy enough to even step next to me. But I don’t think that my male siblings were taught the same things. I know for a fact a ton of my guy friends were not taught the same things. Or maybe they were, but it was for different reasons. Maybe they were taught by their mothers to not be with every girl but only for the purpose of not getting her pregnant or to get a girl of quality pregnant if it should occur. I know this could be an exaggeration, but who knows what is taught in opposition of my feminine training via the Man Code handbook. I just don’t think that our men are getting the same core messages as our girls as we grow up.
We are quick to point a finger and call a guy a dog before we help. Women are excelling in school and in the work place faster than guys and THIS in turn messes with the head of household dynamic. Has anyone else seen the connection? Has anyone reached out? We see guys flashing their private parts in their profile pics, vying to get as many girls as possible to sleep with them in a month, and abusive self behaviors. This saddens me when I see it. I reach out and ask the guy what makes him do this, why does he think this behavior is appropriate and many times I don’t get an answer. SO I decided to ask my 200 men directly to see what they think.
200 men were asked:
Do you, as a man, feel that you were taught to value your body, treat it as a temple, or to make people earn you? If not, do you think those things are important to you? Or are they meant only for women?
As usual, I wish I had the patience to copy past 200 responses, but I don’t… so here is what some of them said:
big slim: I LUV ME..AND MY BODY MEANS EVERYTHING 2 ME
Bear0007: It is meant for every one love, God gave us these bodies to be his temple and treat it as such.
Black Kryptonite aka the KID: I think as a black young male, we are taught that are bodies will get us far in life whether with sports or women. It is important to maintain a healthy body for a long life.
Sybree B: I feel that a man and a woman should treat their body as their temple because it shows how they actually feel about themselves.And it shouldn’t matter as long as you have self-confidence..
Code Name Bigsexy: only for women.as a man you were never taught to do any thing [so] your body tells you [to] go get it if you like it.i think
Ddouble R: (1) yes in many ways like tatts and Piercing they’re all good but why mess with perfection? it tells people you like how you look, so handle me with care. (2) no that’s dealing with everyone….. goes both ways….
*~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well i was raised by a Single mom and Sisters, the values that were instilled in me was that i should treat my body with the utmost respect and shouldn’t be desecrated. So i have very high value for my body.
Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Although these things were taught to me they are not taught to the majority of males… Society teaches that boys will be boys. They are important to me but it all depends on your background
James M: I wasn’t taught to value my body in a traditional way like at home. I only learned those things when I started playing sports at high school and college levels. Learning to eat right and stay in shape is something everyone can benefit from.
Eric R: yes, i was taught to treat my body like a temple.
James L: I had to learn to value my temple. I was taught by my mom to be a good person. When I started reading the bible it taught me to honor God with my body. It’s very important to live a balanced life. Men should stand strong just like women should.
Chris C: Never really thought about it…some good food for thought!…I’ll get back to you on this one!
Aries Brother: For the first part of this question..No I wasn’t. It is something I learned myself as time came and went. I do feel it is important to be conscientious of what we put in our body. But we don’t always want what is good to, and [good] for us in this life.
Dezi: I was raised to always value my body and when you do my body(temple) will display itself so society will see it. And yes I believe men should be earned and not compromised. Also the Male body was always for the WOMAN to enjoy.
Jeff C: I think I was taught that but I have learned .
The one thing that sticks out to me is that just about EVERY guy thought that treating his body like a temple meant to feed it right and to work out. Not one thought about the sexual aspects and the access that they give people to their bodies. There is a disconnect here. Why are our young men not receiving the message that they too are worth the wait? Why are they not making these chicken head girls work for them? Why is the easy was desired over the road less traveled? Dont they know that the road less traveled is a gold mine full of prime self-respect real estate just waiting for people to come scoop it up? Not one really mentioned that they stick to such strict guidelines as the girls do. We’ve got to change this!!!!! We’ve got to produce better boys that will become better gentlemen and then on to be better Men period!!!! I think I just found another one of my life’s calling by starting this series. I’m here to help my fellow man! I’m okay with that, because the better they are, the better the world will be!!!!
Being an aunt makes me want to guard my nephews at all time from the women and situations that may try to steer them down the wrong path. If they were closer to me, they would get daily lessons of me telling them to love themselves and that they too are treasures. Being a godmother of a beautiful 10-year-old makes me tell her every chance that I get that she is beautiful, that she is special, that no one should touch or see her body but her mother and grandmother. My god-daughter looks up to me and tells me in our pen pal letters that she thinks I am the best godmother ever. This is where my basis for this blog is grounded….the teaching of equality in self-worth.
My nephews, just because they are boys shouldnt be told anything different that I tell my god-daughter, other than pee standing up and wipe your butt properly. If I tell her that she should wait until she can handle whatever consequences that may come her way when it comes to sex, then my nephews should get the same pep talk. My nephews shouldnt get the pregnancy speech of “just don’t get her pregnant” but it should also be instilled in them that they will have to take care of a baby that they helped produce and dead beating it is not an option. But this is me preaching in Lala land.
I know that it is a social thing for guys to follow man law from the Hold Your Nuts handbook, and I am just a woman…so what do I know, right? Well, as a woman who has a good amount of self-respect, it pains me to see males not showing love for themselves as well. When a guy doesn’t care about his appearance…sagging pants, dirty shirts, or over sized clothing…he is choosing trend over what image shows who he really is. Or maybe that is who he really is and not who he could be….but I can’t accept that. When a guy posts pictures of his penis as his profile pic on sites…I don’t get turned on by that. I immediately get offended because you just abused me without caring for my feelings, then you don’t care who sees your private parts. They’re called private parts for a reason. Restricted areas aren’t meant for everyone to see. If you know you are working with a Monster….make a chick work for the monster. When I see guys getting with a girl just because she is easy and will give it up… I just want to scream. That shows that you don’t think you can get a woman of substance or that you don’t care that this chick just did the same thing she’s doing to you to 20 of your closest boys. Shouldnt a guy think that he deserves better than the local hood rat? Or do you only think that the quick fix makes you rank higher amongst your boys? Dont you feel that you are worth the pick of the litter?
I could be taking this out of context or merely refusing to live in the destructive modern structures, but I believe that this outlook on life that certain males have can be changed. I just want to walk up to guys on the street, and sometimes I do, and tell them to look at things from a different perspective. Like the teen who walked behind me blasting the lyrics “I only lick pussy if the bitch can suck a dick…” loudly from his mp3 player at Yum Yum’s. I turned around and asked him if he thought that what he was doing was respectful to the women standing in line with him. I also asked if he thought that the girl across the joint who he had been staring at would even think that was cute. I also asked him if this made him appear cool versus looking smart. He looked at me, turned off his mp3 player, apologized and thanked me. He said, “No one has ever put it to me like dat befo. I ‘prociate dat ma’am.” And as he grabbed his food and walked out I yelled…”and pull those pants up too.” All it took, in this case, was for someone to introduce him to his worth.
I think if we spent a 3rd of the energy on boys that we spend on building up the girl’s self worth…the world would be a better place. Majority of the girl’s worth training is based upon the assumption that a guy will eventually try to corrupt you…so why not stop the potential corruption and build both entities up from the womb? I love males dearly….and I can’t sit by idly and watch another one display clear signs of self disrespect. No matter what society, media, or your boys say is cool….you can do better. I know you can… I have faith that you can…. and you will.
Ever turned on your PC/Mac, the computer and not the make-up, just wanting to cruise profile pics of a bunch of guys, or even innocently clicked on a profile to see who sent you the random and rather pointless “Poke”? Or have you ever been too afraid to open up an email while at work because you have no clue what kind of profile pic will pop up, or can’t bare to stomach being accosted by a too proud guy who has too much faith in his “God can’t be that cruel to give that as a gift to women” kind of body? Well, have no fear… I AM HERE. I, too, hate having this world be filled with guys who have no CLUE what it is that women want when it comes to internet introductions and profile presentations. Hopefully, this blog will help you. Women of the Jury I present to you……
Exhibit A: The good old Bike, pet, wall, random scenary..everything BUT a picture of who owns the page?
Fellas: This makes us wonder what you look like, but not in a good way. We don’t see the bike, and only a hoodrat/gold digger would ever care what kind of car or truck you drive. If you in fact want a real woman…..post a real picture of yourself. Pictures like this scream “Bike for Sale” or ugly dude trying to seduce me with this bike that he’s…putting up for sale. Either way, this is NOT doing whatever it is that you think it should do in order to get you a girl. This to us is the equivalent of a fat girl only taking pics from the chest up…. she’s hiding something and doesn’t want us to see it. Well… since you don’t want us to see it, why should we waste our time trying to get to know you? Being yourself is the best thing that you can be. If you post a real picture I will promise to tell the ladies to wear their real hair at least once a month so you can know what grade of hair your future children may inherit. Deal?
Exhibit B: The thug that’s too hard for the hood and has hood credit on a black card. The kind of guy who always has the pic filled with liquor, weed, other drug related references, t-shirts, posters, etc and may actually partake in the activity in the midst of taking a photo…yeh…. screams sexy doesn’t it?
Fellas: Really?!!!! You must ONLY want to be with weed heads, crack heads, chicken heads, bobble heads, potato heads….anything with a head. Looking at this makes me wonder if I have loss any brain cells due to second-hand viewing. My name should be Gonorrhea, pronounced Go-nor-ray…get it right!, I should have 6.75 children & this is my 8th baby daddy. This to a REAL woman would get passed in a heartbeat. This is like a big butt to a caucasian woman…UNWANTED AND DEFINITELY NOT CUTE! You have visually taken away any sex appeal. A woman is now thinking about how gross it would be to kiss you because your kisses would taste like either weed or tobacco…sooo nasty. And I know we’re not to judge a book by its cover… but you have made the cover of this book so unappealing that I could care less what the book is about because if you don’t care about the cover, the content between the binders can’t be all that fulfilling either. First impressions are lasting impressions and this say HOOOOOOOOOOD! As in the mentality and not the place… you can live in the hood and turn out very well, but a hood mentality is nothing to brag about….not at this level anyway. This actually breaks my heart to see….NEXT.
Exhibit C: The riffle toting man branding himself un[F]witable as he holds his manhood in his hand, praying that no one researches his nonexistent gun license.
Fellas: Nothing says “Loving” like my Toasters Strudel & a sawed-off shotgun! *Pillsbury Doughboy laugh* Yeh, FAUX News posts news reels daily of guys who have lost their mind when their girl revokes access to the cookie. Guys stabbing, shooting, setting ablaze,bar-b-queing, and even boiling and serving for dinner a current or ex-girlfriend. I HIGHLY doubt that this would attract too many SANE girlfriends. If a girl asks you out from this picture alone, call the cops because she is planning to either set you up or kill you for an insurance policy. The appropriate way to display your pride in your gun collection is umm…. to NOT display it. Mention it on your profile, once you talk with the girl and get comfortable & see that she can handle you as a person and your love for the outdoors…THEN you ask her if it is okay to reveal a photo of you with a gun. Girls look at stuff like that far differently than guys do. You want a welcoming picture and not a “Jason asked Cheney if he could borrow his riffle” kind of pic. Women like a protector, but a protector from other things and not always posed to shoot her if she decided to surprise you with a kinky round of cops and robbers and winds up with a shell, not her undies, on the ground and a round in her butt [finish joke here].I don’t see YOU in this pic. I see a gun that I think you already love more than any woman who would enter your world. Is there a medical term for people who have intimate relationships with artillery?
Exhibit D: The “Not Quite Him” Guy: The guy who looks one way, swears in his head that he looks another way but denial has yet to be a word he can spell without assistance. You have to see the examples to know what I mean.
The Guy who was brave enough to take this pic even though he looks like THIS, because somewhere deep down in his disillusioned mind someone, or himself, said that he looks like…..
WAIT….
WAIT….
WAIT….
WAIT……
WAIT….
WAIT….
WAIT….
WAIT……
Okay now you can look……
They swore that he looked like THIS! Yes, THIS!
GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! I posted that pic and forgot where I was headed with this entire blog entry. Give me a minute for I have sinned-ed!!!!!!!! *Drools…….I should have kept up with his profile… [Blaspheme] smh.
I’m going to really have to take time away from this blog because I am really blank after that pic. All jokes aside… brb. lmbo!
LMBO!
.
ROTFL
.
ROTFLMBO
.
CTFU
.
ROTFCTFU
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And any other combination of acronyms that you could come up with. Yes, I too am laughing at the fact that people who have NOOOOO business posing have the guts to post stuff like that. I know what he thought. The Top guy in Exhibit C was proud in his manhood.
Fellas: He forgot a very , VERY, very important lesson to remember…and that is that women are more MENTAL and not visual creatures like men. He is thinking from a MAN’s standpoint with this picture. You have taken away any fantasy that a woman may have by showing her what you ACTUALLY have….and I promise you what she was thinking was far better. Male strippers don’t have to work nor strip as hard as females because the male dancers know how to feed women a fantasy of what he has. Everyone knows he has a fluffer in the back and the list goes on….DONT TAKE AWAY MY FANTASY! Where this guy went wrong: 1. You have offended innocent women who did not ask to be flashed with an imprint of your genital area. 2. You have now told me what you think is the best thing that you have to offer. 3. If the smallest “area” of your entire being is the best that you have to offer why should I continue to try to get to know you? 4. Thanks for pushing any by standing children and teenagers into or further into puberty than had been planned by their parents. 5. Thanks for giving me hours of Twitter commentary and TwitPics. 6. How much self-esteem must you have that you do not care who has access to view your body….so even you don’t really view your “prized jewel” as a real gift. Since ANY woman viewing your page can see it…why should I think it was anything special for me to have? 7. Well at LEAST I know you’re not homophobic b/c ANYONE can view your pic. So you’re open minded…there’s one plus. 8. I had nothing else… I just hate odd numbers.lol.
So In conclusion……..
Fellas: Women still love to be wooed. We love for you to be fully clothed, on your best behaviour and putting your BEST foot forward. Majority of the pictures that we ACTUALLY see I couldn’t and WOULDNT post on my blog…well not today anyway. lol. But all of the pics I come across look as if you are more concerned with what your “boys” will think is cool if they saw your profile and has no regard whatsoever about what a possible prospective girlfriend would think if she looked at it. If your “boys” matter to you so much….. DATE YOUR BOYS! If that is not how you swing….and you genuinely and solely love women, present yoruself in a masculine manner that appeals to women; it can be done. Clean your bedroom up in the background. DONT POST A GROUP PHOTO AS YOUR PROFILE PIC!!!!! Dress in your every day gear but make sure you’re not sagging like a kid, write in proper sentences, use Punctuation and Capital letters…but not ALL CAPITAL LETTERS UNLESS YOU ARE YELLING OR MAKING A POINT! I’m not the best at punctuation, but please at least write in a way that shows me you are intelligent, made it past the 6th grade, and actually wish to impress me with your best. First impressions are all that we get sometimes…and just because this is the internet doesn’t mean that you get to rest on how you speak with a person. I’ll attack everything else in another blog… but this will bring you more REAL women in the meantime if you make these small profile pic changes. Trust me…..NOTHING ABOVE really attracted me..okay well the guy with the tatts made me forget a few things, but honestly I like the boy next door… a guy that looks like ummmm THIS:
Beautiful smile…. simple. I know what he looks like, and although I don’t know him…. there is enough mystery here for me to send him a Wink, Poke, or a smiley face. He isn’t trying too hard to impress me, and I like that; a guy who is confident…or at least appears to be…in his own skin enough to the point where this pic was the one he chose to represent him. THIS is what will draw more women in than anything else you will ever hear your boys tell you women are attracted to. If you didn’t hear it from the kind of woman you are trying to attract…its a lie! So…. go remove those pics and post better ones. Happy Profiling!
So, recently I wrote 2 blogs An Independent Woman’s Place [<~Click Here] and [Click Here~>] Deuces Dos & Donts, and the answers that I got back from them had a lot in common; Let the Man be a Man. WTF!? I have no clue what that means. I am just being honest. People say it all the time, but is there a Wikipedia page about letting a man be a man? Is it different in different cultures? Should the woman go by her culture or learn what that means in her man’s culture? Can you upgrade it? Find it on Amazon? WHAT!!!? You can’t come at me all ambiguous and what not. Didnt you tell me that one of the things that women need to do is to communicate EXACTLY what we are thinking because you can’t read our minds? Guess what…this doesn’t mean what you think it means. So, what does it REALLY mean to “let a man be a man”?
Being an aunt makes me want to guard my nephews at all time from the women and situations that may try to steer them down the wrong path. If they were closer to me, they would get daily lessons of me telling them to love themselves and that they too are treasures. Being a godmother of a beautiful 10-year-old makes me tell her every chance that I get that she is beautiful, that she is special, that no one should touch or see her body but her mother and grandmother. My god-daughter looks up to me and tells me in our pen pal letters that she thinks I am the best godmother ever. This is where my basis for this blog is grounded….the teaching of equality in self-worth.
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 