200 Men Said…. :Internet vs Grammar

     There is nothing sexier than an intelligent man…..besides a man who can cook. But we can always order out if he at least knows how to pronounce hors d’oeuvre. And yes, I know, intelligence is not displayed merely by the graduate degrees he has placed meticulously on his wall to showcase what his intelligence got him. I know that it is much more than that. Common intelligence, also known as common sense, can get you to some far away places that people with degrees can only fathom because they can’t get those places out of their doctoral theory phases. So one may be intelligent and not look it, while another looks it and not truly be it. But, if you are indeed intelligent, wouldn’t you want to appear intelligent as well?

        Many times, I hate people who do not know what the HELL they are talking about and try so very hard to use big words, their verb-noun agreements are disagreeing daily, and their double negatives keep multiplying like BeBe’s kids. You automatically deem them unintelligent, correct? Because an intelligent person would showcase themselves in an intelligent manner. Now, I’m not saying that they must use big words or pronounce everything properly…though that would be nice….but the execution of their thoughts must be intellectual. As a person with degrees, I don’t know how NOT to write as if I went to college and actually paid attention in class. My inner coding won’t allow me to write as such. Yes, I do mess up and should use spell check or grammar check my comma usage, but for the most part…I think that I am very well understood in both my lingual/spoken and written formats. Is it too much of me to wish that others would do the same?

        Now, before I go any further, I would like to say that I wanted to see what 200 men would say about the topic of spelling and proper grammar usage….so in no way is this to bash them and their writing techniques. Everyone is entitled to their own slice of reality and to function in that reality how they please. It really did make me wonder why most people, particularly guys, didn’t see the need in having proper writing skills. It is almost etched into a girl’s head that she must be intelligent and scholarly, so who is to be my mate if I possess these skills? It is almost a turn off to see guys speak to me at, what I deem to be, a 5th grade level. I want a man who writes his thoughts out and I can read them with ease, and understand his truth. It is so sexy, actually.  So, I guess this blog is to bring forth the reason behind why so many people are not writing properly, the reason why some give, and the effect that such improper use has on people.

        When I am on the internet, daily I get messages that I simply delete. Having done so I had to search for a few examples of this foolishness that I still had in my inbox. Messages such as:

baby, am very impress to talk to you [name] bu name,nice to meet you again…….Can you send your email address to me know so that we can talk better…. hisname@yahoo …….. his phone number….. Love you  [2deep: I’ve NEVER met this dude, soooooo why did he say meet you again? ]

Or this

dam luv your sexz as shit

Or my favorite is when people get mad at me

and girl was was mesg back and forth so i don’t see how u went pass my note cuz when u don’t answer a note it still shows up when u log on and don’t give me that people make mistakes crap im not a child and god bless u

This one was angry at me too…lmao!

i don’t want to learn a lesson if i cant get to kno u better as a friend then never mind im not here to learn shit thats y i finish skool but like i said if i cant get to kno u better then never mind somebody mite need that lesson not me i kno how to talk to a woman i kno how to treat a woman n last but not less i kno how to RESPECT a WOMAN n also woman is not QUALITY they are queens

        I wish I could find the one of the guy from Michigan who told me that he was a “lowya” for 5 years. TRUE SHIT! I couldnt make this up if I tried! You see what I am working with? I am not asking for a guy to write to me with Shakespearean sonnets, but can he write to me in Standard American English? What is this trend of lowercase and run-on sentences? Can you help a sister out? Fake like this sentence is a night after unprotected sex and you can’t wait for me to have my period. Don’t worry….the messages above aren’t from any of the guys below. I wouldn’t do that to them. But I would want them to write to me like grown men. Like, the intelligent men that I know they are based on the advice that they give. I actually smile when I get a message from a guy who writes well, not perfect, but well. Like the time when I had a conversation about skin color and the guy wrote back with this:

Damn. It’s sad that anyone would have that mind state but I understand where you’re coming from.  It’s crazy that the green eye test is still having its effect on Black people. To think Blacks would let something as vague as skin color to completely separate themselves from each other and dictate how they treat each other. I wouldn’t treat anyone any different because of their skin color even though I might prefer a certain tone. Unfortunately, for too many of us, we allow anglos, latins, etc. to tell US what true beauty is because of our history. It’s just so stupid to me.

        I SWEAR I ALMOST TOUCHED MYSELF!!! He was able to keep my attention ( And he is one of the men replying below…lol). I think guys forget that women are mental (then emotional) creatures. We live a good percent of our day in our own heads. If you can take our attention from whatever we are dreaming up then you are half way there. Something about a guy who can write well would lead me to BELIEVE that he can speak well. Then, in my mind, I picture him teaching our kids to become baby Einsteins while I read a good Eric Jerome Dickey novel while sipping on tea on the sun porch. I guess that is what it all boils down to, are you smart enough to entertain my intelligence and should we ever procreate, are you smart enough to keep my babies out of Remedial English or Special Ed? 

So, 200 men were asked:

I’m BIG on proper spelling and grammar use! Actually, I’m turned off by its improper use. Do you feel that writing properly is important when conversing on the internet or is it overrated? Why?

        I would also like to point out that, usually, I edit and correct what the guys write so that my readers can read fluently and grasp the concept faster. Today, I’m not doing it. It actually takes more time for me to edit than to write my long drawn out version of why I chose to write the post. So….. after sending the question out….the ones who made it back in time for my deadline said this:

1.  Chris C: Not really. I believe you can tell a person’s level of intelligence from their conversation. After all, I was graded on my spelling and grammar for seventeen plus years and excelled at a high level…by the way, you forgot the apostrophe after “its”…lol [2deep: See, I love a man who knows that I made a grammatical error….so sexy! lol]
2. ”DUKE” BANNER: yes i do my queen that shows intelligents
3. Sincere: yes it is important, because i shouldn’t have to break a code to understand what you are trying to say
4.  Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: on the internet…its okay to use internet grammar but on the phone r in person its a diff thing….
5. Young ’84 T2G: I feel it isn’t that important, as long as the person you are talking to understands what you are saying. Some people know how to spell perfectly but choose to break down words because its less typing or because they’re just used to texting on there phone.
6. H. Xavier: overated,because i say,lol
7.  Blackstallion: I don’t think it’s overrated do to the fact that some people just would not like to spell the full word out, this is just like texting (short and straight to the point.
8. Kip S:  With the internet and texting, whatever gets the message across the easiest. Now, if it is formal writing…IT HAS TO BE PROPER
9.  Simon B: a lot of my stuff is run off as long as the person can understand what he are she is saying i don’t think it should be a problem ez up a lil bit
10.  DJ Urban Cowboy: I feel its proper to an extent. If your too much of a stickler for grammar, you can come off snooty. At the same time if you text sounds like something from a rap lyric or trailer park party invitation it can come of as uneducated or trashy.
11. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well to me conversing online with proper grammar speaks a lot about that individual. Some people knows how to switch it up, but proper grammar does intrigues me about that person.
12. Black Kryptonite aka the KID:  it is not overrated, we all make typos though and if you can get the simple sentence structure down then. Move on to the next person who can is proper when communicating on the Internet
13. Lateef25:  depends if you just small talking ot are you speaking on a important topic
14. Aries Brotha: I feel it’s nessessary to only when carrying on a conversation with someone that’s like-minded. And can appreciate proper edicate be it in a conversation, email, or letter. Too many times misspelled words and hidden meanings cause a disruption .
15.  P Reddz: Sometimes it is easier and more convenient to just ;how should it freessyle type.It it good to use proper grammer though.It shows that you are well educated
16. James F: i would like to understand what a person is saying but if i don’t its not a big deal to me…its overrated if they you use proper grammer cool if not thats cool too..its whatever with me
17. Hit me up on facebook-UB:  Its important because when writting on the internet you would want to understand the information that person is trying to writting. Some people would write like “wats up mi boi” or “wat it iz”. That why I think its overrated…..
18. RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]:  a little over rated
19. Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Overrated cuz its Just casual chat! ppl type faster with less attn on grammar n spelling…they want the quickest n shortest route 2 saying wateva the want 2 say!…
20. Delonte M:  No I personally don’t think it’s a big issue. Depending on how I feel, I’ll type proper or with slang. I’ll talk to you proper since that’s what you like though
21. Young fresh to D:  not really only when handling businees
22. Horace J:  I think it’s overrated. As I tell my creative expression students “you are writing talk”. The importants lies on communicating yourself. Being understood and being understanding is paramount on this medium.. Ya gettin dat der gurl? Southern Slang.
23. Live And Love or LAL: Its overated, because you are talking to friends not business men and women. There is a time to but your business mind on and there is a time you just relax your brain

 And my favorite one of all is:

• …….:  Overrated,it’s only the internet not english class.

         True, it is the internet, but the internet is apart of this world; was English Class not to prepare us how to properly communicate with the rest of the world? Someone said that it’s overrated because I am talking to friends. What kind of friends do you have? My friends are geniuses!!!! lol. One friend of mine, since 3rd grade, has her doctorate in Chemistry, another stays in school so much that I have no clue what her degrees are but the girl is a knowledgeable beast! My guy friends give the best wisdom ever. And one of my big brothers didn’t go to college, but every time he hits a mic and spits he shuts the room down with his lyrical genius and word play. He gets paid to use his words and he does so beautifully. I honestly cannot think of anyone in my inner circle of friends who does not speak the way in which I type to them.

         Yes, I use shorthand when conversing online, but I also make sure that I establish and separate myself from the people who may appear less intelligent than I. And it wasn’t until now that I realized or even confessed that I did such a thing. I guess I wanted everyone to appear smart. I wanted them to put their best foot forward at all times and wait until you get completely comfortable with someone BEFORE you get lazy with the typing. I know that spelling and grammar doesn’t mean that you are smart or purely intelligent, but it sure doesn’t hurt, right?  And I know that there are a SEA of mistakes on my part running all up and through this blog, but for the most part…..you can somewhat get a glimpse of my intelligence…. I hope. And I hope that you are still able to see the true intelligence of my guys who participated. They have kept me cracking laughing, thinking of more questions for them to answer because they keep giving me so much insight and wisdom. I just don’t want their wisdom and insight to be lost in a sea of grammatical errors. Its hard enough in this world.

         Especially when it comes to guys, I want them to know that to appear to being intelligent is just as important as actually being intelligent. You don’t want a golden opportunity to pass you by just because you didn’t see a need in properly expressing who you really are on the inside. And I could be making a big deal out of nothing, but I don’t think that I am. Making our guys see their worth at ALL times is such an important thing to me. I don’t want them to be passed over because a judgmental wench, like me, deletes your notes because I don’t want to get a headache trying to read a massive run-on sentence. I want them to be able to capture every woman’s attention, every boss’ attention, hell…the world’s attention every time they write, the talk, and they walk into a space. I think that they all deserve the extra level of awareness that I have. I don’t feel I am being an elitist, but I do feel like I might be an heir to Grandison, and it is just in me to go back and get the people who are still back home and help them to freedom.  That’s all. [Click Here to read The Passing of Grandison by Charles W. Chestnutt. its a Short Story….one that all Africans and African-Americans need to read.]

         If you have kids…..please let them read this blog… or pass along the message. Teens are the #1 culprit when it comes to internet typing and texting and it is hurting their true education because they can easily hit spell check and never really learn how to spell or check their grammar. We are letting the internet make our people dumb… and that is all that I have to say about that!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Male Self Respect

        Being an aunt makes me want to guard my nephews at all time from the women and situations that may try to steer them down the wrong path. If they were closer to me, they would get daily lessons of me telling them to love themselves and that they too are treasures. Being a godmother of a beautiful 10-year-old makes me tell her every chance that I get that she is beautiful, that she is special, that no one should touch or see her body but her mother and grandmother. My god-daughter looks up to me and tells me in our pen pal letters that she thinks I am the best godmother ever. This is where my basis for this blog is grounded….the teaching of equality in self-worth.

        My nephews, just because they are boys shouldnt be told anything different that I tell my god-daughter, other than pee standing up and wipe your butt properly.  If  I tell her that she should wait until she can handle whatever consequences that may come her way when it comes to sex, then my nephews should get the same pep talk. My nephews shouldnt get the pregnancy speech of “just don’t get her pregnant” but it should also be instilled in them that they will have to take care of a baby that they helped produce and dead beating it is not an option. But this is me preaching in Lala land.

        I know that it is a social thing for guys to follow man law from the Hold Your Nuts handbook, and I am just a woman…so what do I know, right? Well, as a woman who has a good amount of self-respect, it pains me to see males not showing love for themselves as well. When a guy doesn’t care about his appearance…sagging pants, dirty shirts, or over sized clothing…he is choosing trend over what image shows who he really is. Or maybe that is who he really is and not who he could be….but I can’t accept that. When a guy posts pictures of his penis as his profile pic on sites…I don’t get turned on by that. I immediately get offended because you just abused me without caring for my feelings, then you don’t care who sees your private parts. They’re called private parts for a reason. Restricted areas aren’t meant for everyone to see. If you know you are working with a Monster….make a chick work for the monster. When I see guys getting with a girl just because she is easy and will give it up… I just want to scream. That shows that you don’t think you can get a woman of substance or that you don’t care that this chick just did the same thing she’s doing to you to 20 of your closest boys. Shouldnt a guy think that he deserves better than the local hood rat? Or do you only think that the quick fix makes you rank higher amongst your boys? Dont you feel that you are worth the pick of the litter?

        I could be taking this out of context or merely refusing to live in the destructive modern structures, but I believe that this outlook on life that certain males have can be changed. I just want to walk up to guys on the street, and sometimes I do, and tell them to look at things from a different perspective. Like the teen who walked behind me blasting the lyrics “I only lick pussy if the bitch can suck a dick…” loudly from his mp3 player at Yum Yum’s. I turned around and asked him if he thought that what he was doing was respectful to the women standing in line with him. I also asked if he thought that the girl across the joint who he had been staring at would even think that was cute. I also asked him if this made him appear cool versus looking smart. He looked at me, turned off his mp3 player, apologized and thanked me. He said, “No one has ever put it to me like dat befo. I ‘prociate dat ma’am.” And as he grabbed his food and walked out I yelled…”and pull those pants up too.” All it took, in this case, was for someone to introduce him to his worth.

        I think if we spent a 3rd of the energy on boys that we spend on building up the girl’s self worth…the world would be a better place. Majority of the girl’s worth training is based upon the assumption that a guy will eventually try to corrupt you…so why not stop the potential corruption and build both entities up from the womb? I love males dearly….and I can’t sit by idly and watch another one display clear signs of self disrespect. No matter what society, media, or your boys say is cool….you can do better. I know you can… I have faith that you can…. and you will.

The end of my public service announcement.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Super Head-ish “Pro” vs Kat Stacks-ish “Pro”

****************            VS.              *******************
 

So a sexual “pro”, some male celebrities and HOPEFULLY some condoms walk into a hotel room…… LMAO! What follows after that will depend on if you are a smart “pro” or an ignant “pro”. And yes, I said ignant…the kind of person who has yet to earn the missing vowel/consonant. Daily there are business women sleeping their way to the top, street walkers patrolling 18th & K Streets NW better than the Metropolitan Police , and the average ignant female who receives nothing for what she is giving. Who should get more respect?

Disclaimer: I don’t condone ANY of the activities mentioned above, but of course we know that sex sales in this world. Everyone wasnt raised in the church, everyone doesn’t use common sense, and not everyone has the appropriate level of self-pride ( whether too little or bona-fide hubris). This also isn’t as judgmental of a piece as it may appear….but it will state my side very strongly. lol.  You may continue….

Saying that one type of pro is smarter than another would have to be broken down via common sense versus book sense. Common sense would tell you to not engage in the acts that objectify yourself, but many don’t see it as such. Book sense would, AT THE VERY LEAST, tell you to make sure that you are getting paid for inviting others, and sometimes, the world into your physical temple. I can respect a girl who is doing something that I may not agree with if she were in fact doing it for a legit cause and were at least sustaining her life by it. I know the church is gonna scream now… but I could understand a woman feeling at her wits ends and stripping on a pole to put food on her table for her kids or to make it through law school on the right side of justice. I say if the church doesn’t like it, get like a Jehovah’s Witness and beat the streets to get God’s message out to the people. A girl can’t make it to the pole if she’s ducking behind the couch in her living room because a Jehovah’s Witness is peeking through her living room’s bay window intercepting her escape route. What I DONT get is the pro that does this mess for -ish and giggles and/or a Gucci purse. Come on!!! You mean to tell me that you think you are only worth a knock off or $1,000?!!!!! Or free pictures for a portfolio that is being seen only by local dudes claiming to be professionals. Or studio time? It both pains and kills me to see girls plastered half-naked to fully naked on the internet knowing damn well they didn’t get paid for it, their kid’s have unmet medical needs, and they are still living at home with their mother. If you are going to do it…. by all means woman… get paid for it.

Disclaimer #2: I would prefer you not do it at all, but for the sake of this blog….continue….

Super Head was the talk of the town before main stream even knew who she was. She had dirt, had secrets, but she hoarded them all until she found the right medium to profit from her indiscretions. She was a Smart Pro. She knew that people were using her for their own personal gains so why not use herself to rise above it, create a source of income that would allow her to be in charge of her own life. Much like the models who have portfolios filled with naked pictures considered to be high fashion, she didn’t reveal what she had to everyone…her body ….maybe, but definitely not without getting paid. She didn’t reveal her most prized assets to anyone who asked her to do so, she smiled for the camera, she danced to the fronts of scenes…but she made a name for herself in her own right.

Melissa Ford is another smart chick… I don’t use pro, because I don’t know what she did behind closed doors…but people took her to be such. But this woman is BRILLIANT! Have you ever spoken to her on twitter? I promise you that your mouth will fall open. She used one avenue to get into the spotlight and then got out because she didn’t need to stay there. She too may have shown some goods every now and again, but I guarantee you that her self-worth made someone’s pockets hurt. I can respect her. Idolize her? NEVER…. but I do respect her hustle.

Then you flip the rock over… and you find the gutter bugs; the leeches; the Patricks to the Spongebobs of the world; The Below- Average Heads….sorry I couldn’t keep that one in….lmbo! You have the Montana Fishburnes & Kat Stacks of the Dumb Chicks R Us sorority that make you do the Scoobie Doo; ” Rue ,Rue Shaggy?” People who see the end results but never processed the struggle that these women above had to go through. These nuts glorify the world, think it is the rite of passage into whatever fantasy they have, but they failed to plan appropriately. Kat Stacks makes me itch. If I were her, THANK THE LORD THIS IS JUST A SCENARIO…lol…but if I were, I would have saved all of the footage, all of the information and gotten paid to release it. But no, the low-budget minded female reveals it shortly after it occurs. This is what I find disturbing. This is pure business law right here, you supply as long as there is a demand and you never bite the hand that feeds you until you are full and can feed yourself after the bite.

All jokes aside, I am not a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but I just want to take every female who feels she has to show her body off in such negative lights and wrap her in my arms and tell her that she’s beautiful. People don’t say it to one another enough….but I want to run up to little girls in the street and hug them ( hell I just might start) and tell them I love them and they are beautiful..just random teens and let them hear it at least once from someone.  I want them to see beyond the present moment; it’s not art, it can keep you from getting jobs, it can keep you from friendships, it can hinder you from meaningful relationships, and it could put you in danger from the sickos of the world. I would prefer that I never saw another woman posting barely-there pics at all on the net… but if you’re going to do it… at least get paid for it UP FRONT. Dont post it in hopes of being discovered….because people will discover that you are just another female who didn’t have the wherewithal to demand your worth up front. And I know that somewhere deep down you have GOT to think better of yourself than what these pics , poses, and actions portray. I’m starting at home, from my baby cousin, who at the age of 17 keeps posting pics of her with poses from behind and her booty poking out. Every Facebook & Twitter pic gets viewed by me….she is worth MORE than that and she is beautiful and intelligent and I told her to stop making people think that SHE thinks her butt is the best she has to offer. I will fight this cause until she stops or I die… which ever comes first. I can be very annoying. She’s young enough to where she doesnt take offense to me saying it, but rather thinks I am stunting her innocent fun. She can think what she wants…..I will continue to bug every pic she posts.

*sigh*One woman at a time. LEts go!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~