“Same”phobic Homosapiens

        I am very much a , pardon the expression, “Fag Hag”. Yes, I simply adore the LBGT community. I don’t judge. And if you read my blog entry called “I’m Not A Lesbian, but I Played One in College”  (<~Click to read) then you would know just how close this subject is to my heart. I feel like I’m an honorary LBGT crusader. And I have tons of friends who are out, many who are not, and others who I think are but may not feel comfortable expressing that side of themselves to me because they may not know where I stand. Well, I stand on the side of understanding. I understand that we all have things about us that others may not like, but it shouldnt stop us from being who we are as long as it doesn’t harm us or others. There. That is my stance from now until eternity. Besides, what you do in your bed room is none of my business, just as what I do in mine is none of yours…..but I’m sure we’ll love each other just the same in the morning no matter what occurred behind close doors or on kitchen counters. Just let me know before I eat at your breakfast nook. Thanks.

        So, Biblical references to the side momentarily… yes I said put it to the side for a moment. Because if you lived by every word in that Bible you would still be a virgin. SO HUSH IT UP! You point at other people’s faults and I will point at yours. Yep, tit for bigot! Where was I? Oh yes, with all religious views to the side, let’s get to the core of this issue. Why are most people afraid of homosexual men. How odd how men don’t mind two lesbians going at it but something about the fiber of them cracks every time a homosexual man holds another man’s hand. Why is that? If they are not bothering you or trying to convert you ( against popular belief you can not be converted…unless you already wanted to be…lol) why is it any of your concern who they choose to love? I read in a medical article how the female body begins to attack the male fetus because it sees the testosterone as an outsider, or virus even, and begins to try to balance the high levels of testosterone with estrogen. This is extremely prevalent in women who have multiple sons. This raises the chances of the younger son being more feminine that the others. I think that could be true because our bodies have a way of protecting its self. So you know what they say, God doesn’t make mistakes. I know I said to leave the religion to the side, but I had to say it.

So, since many women are gay friendly, I had to ask my 200 men for their opinion. 200 men were asked:

Why do you think so many men are homophobic if they’re secure in their manhood? Please be RESPECTFUL when answering. I’m not asking you to judge the lifestyle but rather why men respond to the lifestyle so negatively. Thanks.

And some of the 200 responded with :

1. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: I think men have the same reasons [for being] homophobic [as] people [have for being] racist or fearful of most things… just a simple lack of understanding and no willingness to understand. Insecurity, I’m sure plays a major role
2. Kenneth H: No real [man] likes homo. It is what it is. Sorry, I’m from the old school (,2Deep: So there were no gays in the old school? lol)
3. Erik B: i don’t know. but i know for me, someone’s preference has nothing to do with my lifestyle. so i can’t speak for someone else.
4. Truly Blessed with Love: Dont think its homophobic. I truly think that they aren’t secure in their manhood and I personally don’t need to [have] some gay man around me for a woman to say, “oh he’s secure about his manhood.”  if [you need] something like that to prove that you are then you really [weren’t as] secure
5. Code Name Bigsexy: i feel like that lifestyle is pushed on straight people.in movies and in life.its made like straight people are the 1’s who are out the norm.i don’t like the fact that its public. as a father how do you tell your kids whats going on??
6.  !: Because it’s a very taboo lifestyle, especially in the black community. Str8 men are that way b/c they don’t want women to think they are homo’s, which is bad for them and their love life….If you see a str8 man with a homo, you would be suspect too.
7.  H.O. R: [I] PERSONALLY WONDER WHY PEOPLE, IN GENERAL, ARE SO NEGATIVE THESE DAYS ….PERIOD. BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,  I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE GAY OR WHATEVA JUST DON’T DISRESPECT ME AND WE’RE GOOD. AND JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AND THEY WILL GET RESPECT
8. DJ Urban Cowboy: People are always paranoid of the unknown. They are homophobic because they have not taken the time to understand the culture.
9. Young fresh to D: that’s a good question. i think some men can’t handle homos in any form but everybody is different
10. Jay S: they are really not homophobic. we just can’t deal with being hit on by another male
11. Lost in my own mind: it is possible that it could be [the way] they were raised or brought up in [their] household. Mainly, i blame media because the media makes it seem as if you become friends with a person that possesses those qualities [then] you will become gay or end up doing [homo]sexual things
12.  Trayvon S {Men Of Respect}: men are homophobic ’cause [the] world tells you that being gay is wrong. and people see a man talking to a gay man [and] thinks he is gay. so men that are straight [don’t] associate with them.  personally, i don’t care about some one being a homo,cause i love women
13.  Live And Love or LAL: This goes against nature, and God himself. Man [was not built for] sexual activity with another man but with a woman. that’s why God gave us two different sex organs to compliment each other.
14. Conscious 1: ooh lawd.  Well to answer you most recent question.  I think homophobia has been poorly defined by the portion of the gay community who has a political agenda.  One can’t want the right to express themselves and their lifestyle then block those who disagree with it.  They demonize their own existence by using the negative stigma of homosexual men and either stating a man who isn’t a homosexual has a phobia or is secretly gay.  A phobia is a fear.  A disagreement is not synonymous nor is it a measuring rod of ones manhood. 
15. Bryan P: well to be real [some] guys are real homophobic because i think they have something to hide in [their] closet … and i would never judge [someone] over their choice of who they like …
16. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I don’t think a lot of guys are homophobic. a lot of guys become defensive if a gay guy tends to venture his way or try to hit on the straight guy. I have been hit on by a gay guy and i got mad because he [doesn’] know me, so don’t come at me like that……
17.  Young ’84 T2G: people in general don’t like what they don’t understand. I can’t speak for every man but I don’t judge anyone for what they decide to be [with] or do. Most men I know though don’t understand how a man can be interested in another man.
18. Aries Brotha: The fear that whatever makes homosexuals function will [be passed] on to them by touch, close proximity, or association. Fear is such a powerful weapon and the bible, media, and everything we read and write tells us/conditions us to believe it’s wrong.
19.  Kip S: I will answer this as a non homophobic man. It is a pride thing. With excessive pride comes ignorance, which leads to the typical homophobic man. If we don’t understand it, we look at it as a disease.
20.  ”DUKE” BANNER: they just don’t understand. they think [that] all gay men want them. but if you’re like me ,not gay,[you don’t] give them no reason to think that they can approach [you] in that way. no im not homophobic
21.  P Reddz: PERSONALLY,IAM JUST AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY.NOW I MUST ADMIT IT DOES TURN ME ON WHEN ITS 2 WOMEN, BUT MEN [ON] MEN, UH UH.ITS JUST WRONG.I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR RIGHT TO DO AS THEY PLEASE. I DONT GO AROUND HARRASSING AND INSULTING GAY PEOPLE..
22.  Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: It’s an Abomination of the life. It [means they] cannot procreate which is part of our natural design by the creator. Any support of it is telling the father to go to hell.
23. Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Well Real Men Hate Folly n foolishness [and] Try 2 Line Up the Spirit With The Word… Then Also Sum Might Be Fakin N They Like Dat Foolishness But Dnt Wanna Be Judged.. It’s All Types Of Excuses Y!!..Anutha One Is It Might Touch On the Ego, Which No Man Likes
24.  Steven C {{QB}}: The better question is …ask God why he Hates it so much? (2Deep: I asked, I didn’t get an answer back yet. I checked the Bible, too. Nothing in red ink stating this fact either. Next time you talk to Him, please tell him to call me so that I can be put on 3-way for this discussion. I’d appreciate it.)
25.  …….: Maybe they vehemently disagree with it

And my favorite response came down to:

• Horace J: Phobic/phobia in simple terms “a fear of; a desire to avoid”… I don’t believe men have a fear of male homosexuals the latter part of the simple def “a desire to avoid activities”, yes. It deals with a vulnerable state we only express with. women.

        I felt almost as if I had to respond to some of these remarks. Kenneth H said that ” no real man likes a homo”. SO based on the definition of homo, which means same or of likeness, he is saying that no real man likes the same. The same what? The same person who loves the same way he does? Someone who has the same philosophies as he does? I have this haiku that I wrote that says:

I wish you were gay

So you can take it like a

Man, you punk ass bitch

        Everyone rolls into laughter when I say that poem. But I honestly think that it takes a REAL man to go against the grain of what everyone else thinks he should do just so that he can remain true to himself at all times. And if that requires him to love another man….then you have my full support and my understanding. Because I understand what it can do for you to morph to try to please everyone else. It’s not healthy. If its wrong, then it is wrong. No one will be cleared of all of their sins unless asked to be forgiven on their death beds. So while here on earth. I accept everyone for their faults. If they tithe, if they love thy neighbor, if they don’t kill or steal, or covet their neighbors… I’m pretty sure that they are on the right track and the rest of us are sinning by having sex PERIOD! It doesn’t matter who you have sex with, the sin is sex before marriage. End of story. So… that explanation is also my response to Live and Love or LAL. I’m doing what your screen name says I should do. I am living my life and I am loving everyone, even those who are not like me. Or does your name not apply to the homosexual community? Not an attack… just wondering. And yes, God gave us organs to compliment one another….please spread the word to your STRAIGHT brothers who enjoy engaging in anal sex with a woman. Or does that not constitute as a complimentary entrance? Does oral sex count as a complimentary entrance….or should we just stick to missionary? And based on what Steven C {{QB}} said, I just have to shake my head. How quick black men are to forget that not even a full 2 centuries ago slavery ended, and even during the civil rights and still today there are Klu Klux Klan members shouting that God made the white man ruler over all other races. They used the Bible to control those that they were afraid of and a culture that they didn’t understand. Are we REALLY gonna use the same backdoor pew hatred? And even if there were documented proof that God said, which would be signified by red ink, that homosexuality is wrong it still wouldn’t be right to condemn one sin by being hateful and breaking other laws of God at the same time.I started this topic just because I was curious, but now I am saddened at the divide amongst humans.  I understand the connection to the church, I do and I love the Lord….he created us all and I believe that my role is to love EVERYONE. If I live my life according to his will and set an example for others, then they will come to God and HE will be the one to make any changes that he sees fit ( if any at all are needed). I think we as human beings have taken on God’s role far too much and have in turn tarnished his name by doing unjust things in it. I cannot and will not pass judgement (throw stones) or hate in JEsus’ name just because one minister quoted a verse in the Bible that he takes to be condemning homosexuality. Again, I will love, preach the word without judgement and people will come to know that God is a loving God and feel more welcome in His house. I have faith that God is still God and he can do more than I ever could, therefore I will continue to love and promote his word without hate, judgement or condemning actions. That’s my truth, and I’m sticking to it.

          Code Name Big Sexy says that he feels that the gay lifestyle is pushed on straight people, but I feel it is the other way around. I think that since people THINK that heterosexuals are the majority and are the right way to be heterosexuals push our lifestyle on to homosexuals. People are losing jobs, can’t protect our country or serve in our churches because we are pushing our sexual ideals on to them. A heterosexual isn’t losing their job because they didn’t turn gay. A heterosexual isn’t getting chained up to fences in Wyoming because they didn’t turn gay. (R.I.P Matthew). And yet heterosexuals feel as if the homosexuals are forcing themselves into our way of thinking? They are merely asking to be accepted as humans and treated fairly. And as a father, you should want your child to know that there are people who are different from you and them, but do so in a way to explain how your morals are set  up and not to teach hate. This form of communication will also open the window for your children to feel they can come talk to you when they have questions. It is a dialogue.  And that leads me to Jay S. Honey, you are a nice looking man, I agree, but every gay man does not want you nor will they hit on you. I GUARANTEE you that one of my gay friends could kick it with you and you would never know he was gay and never once would he hit on you because you are not his type. We have to get away from the stereotype that all gay men hit on every straight man. That is the HUGEST fallacy in the world! They are human. They like football, they look like some of your homeboys. All gay men are not feminine and switch their hips. So let’s get that out of our heads. Unless you want them to hit on you, then I support you too ( JUST KIDDING!!!).

        I think that the culture has to change in order for everyone to feel comfortable to be themselves. We have to change the way we think. They once thought that the earth was flat, the sun revolved around us, and that Tupac was dead, and we all know the truth now…don’t we? We have to have open minds to learn what is different from us. It is about respect, acceptance, and community. Gay is just a label that a label-giving society gave a group of people. How ironic that gay means happy.  I wonder what it would be like if we all could be happy just the same. Because from where I sit, we’re just scared of the unknown… and I don’t want to associate with a bunch of scaredy cats; No Homo(sapien). lol.

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT SO THAT WE CAN KEEP DISCUSSIONS LIKE THIS GOING!!!! I’m gonna stop writing if people don’t start leaving comments here on my blog!!!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

I’m Not a Lesbian, but I Played One In College

        Now that I have your attention… welcome. The taboo sentiments that circle around the topic of homosexuality are enough to make me torch the nearest discriminating heterosexual with rainbow gasoline. Seriously, no matter what you think of the topic ,no one civil right should be trumped by one’s disapproval of another’s civil rights. Point, Blank, Period!

        The title, obvious. I pulled a Katy Perry once in undergrad; I kissed a girl…and I liked it. One time, end of story. Nothing dramatic, nothing scandalous, just truth. What?!!! I went to a majority white college… girl on girl kissing is required in the student constitution to get your diploma…lol. So, should I be persecuted for a seemingly innocent homosexual act? Should I be banned from heaven because, in all actuality, I find the feminine form more attractive than that of a male’s but prefer the male’s over a woman’s? Or do I get a pass, the left blinded eye of justice, because I am a “redeemed” homosexual and I didn’t even send in $10.99 for a free healing prayer cloth? News flash, it is not the act that makes a person homosexual.

        I’ve never had sex with a woman, I just can’t picture myself ever taking it that far….so I’m a lesbian on paper…lol. I send in my dues every month at a gay pride rally but that is about it. But if you ask me how do I identify myself….you’ll never hear me say heterosexual. For that matter, you’ll never hear me say I’m homosexual. I just am. I stand in the middle, torn by what a part of me once experienced and what the rest of the world says is appropriate, all the while thinking that they could both exist harmoniously.

        Ignorance about homosexuality makes me cringe. I actually have a co-worker who once, while proclaiming his frustration over his son’s flying to New York from Florida to see his long distance girlfriend, said, “Well, it could be worse. He could be gay.” He said it as if being a serial killer, an international terrorist, or satan himself were all better than if his son were a homosexual with perfect credit and a clean criminal record with the cure to all currently incurable diseases stuffed in his left jean pant pocket. But this of course is coming from the same “Christian” coworker who posted this above his desk:       

I rest my case……….Shame how people can hate but can’t even copy/paste scripture properly…lol

         I have homosexual friends that I have invited to my church over, and over, and over again. I hate having to preface with “the speaker may hit an anti-homosexual rant, but listen to the voice of God between it all.” I want to stand up and shout during service…. “MUCH LIKE THE MILITARY, THE MORE PEOPLE WE HAVE SPREADING GOD’S MESSAGE, THE BETTER OFF WE ARE IN THIS WAR AGAINST EVIL!” But I don’t. I let the masses in the pews clap and cheer and Amen the minister of the day. Deep down I just want to fix it all, help bring a different approach. Telling me that I am wrong will not make me listen to you, but showing me another way for something to be done may get me to see your side. Shouting to the hills that homosexuality is wrong keeps so many lost souls from hearing God’s message. It’s almost as if they don’t think that bringing them into His house, teaching the rest of his teachings, will be enough ground work for God to magically work in their lives the way that He sees fit. It’s almost as if they are shouting that you can’t be Christian if you are a homosexual or don’t disapprove of homosexuals. When in fact they could try the Pythagorean-ish theorem.  If a=God, and b=His mercy, then c=His love for you. One may conclude after hearing those lessons repeatedly that God would work inside of the person. You can’t cut out what you THINK is cancer without first taking tests, blood work ( pardon the religious pun), X-rays, and even the initial incision on the surgery table. Baby steps, not attack. And I am not saying here that it should even be changed…but if you think that homosexuals should be changed…think of a different approach.

I also don’t think that religiously suppressing homosexuals is a healthy method of spiritually reforming people for the heterosexual partners that they may find themselves with. As a female who would one day like to be married to a male, I have fears of being in a relationship with a male who loves another male but because his church tells him he should be with a female he picks one as a front for the public and then begins down low activities…been there, done that… tested negative. That is a touchy subject for me. If you told me that my “now” husband was once with a man… I would always wonder if he still had those same feelings and I would want him to go be with whomever made him happy rather than stick around in a marriage with me simply because I was female. Only God can change an urge. My urge to stop having sex, though, doesn’t make me a virgin again, just like making someone stop engaging in homosexual activities will not make a homosexual a heterosexual. So am I wrong for letting God work his magic on the things that would cause me to hate? Am I wrong for having faith that God will work things out and as long as I continue to love everyone around me, respect them as humans and preach the word of God to get people into His house, no matter their sexual preference, God will be proud of me? Or am I wrong for thinking that it is ridiculous to lose a person over one Biblical scripture rather than gain them through a thousand others?

        I highly doubt that when it is all said and done that I will get to the pearly gates and Peter is gonna chuck up the Dueces with Jesus on speaker phone as they both tell me that I must spend eternity in hell because I didn’t choose to persecute the gays. People use the Bible at their convenience to promote their cause. I say, if you don’t use it all exactly the way that it was written….dont come hollering that nonsense in my ear all out of context. I’ve even heard ministers say that “this is a new time but the messages still apply”. Well, when your wife can’t have a baby you better not turn to invetro, you better sleep with your house servant. When Michael Jackson died he should have risen like Lazarus. I’m just saying… do you see the disconnect here? Why is it that other things can be forgotten, modernized, and substituted, but the principle of homosexuality and adamant hatred associated with it managed to last throughout the ages? Maybe, now, God needs this individual, who happens to be a homosexual, to know the love that God has for all human beings. Maybe this individual needed to hear how Job waited on the Lord, or how Joseph, David, and others over came trials. Maybe they need for you to practice the agape that you preach. Just maybe.

        I know several homosexuals that walk the halls of my church without them ever having to say a word but I have proof….their secret will be safe with me even after I die ( and I love them for EXACTLY who they are). I have several friends who are openly homosexual and I preach the word of God to them. I even have one requesting that I explain to her what “touch and agree” means because I say it around her so much. And I have a homosexual friend who revealed to me their HIV status…I didn’t shy away from them, I didnt think…”that’s what you get”, no… I loved them even more. And I laugh, joke, and talk about God with them whenever I can. I actually have some deep conversations about God with this individual. So yeh… the gays know the Holy Trinity as well… they just don’t always feel accepted by those claiming to be “His” people. You see, I don’t think that its my place to cast the first stone, but it is my place to say, come into God’s house, listen to his word and He will work on you in His time. I love all of my brothers and sisters, straight, not so straight, and flat out crooked. I think that is what I am supposed to do.

        A homosexual engaging in homosexual acts may not directly or indirectly kill me. But a straight man who came to church to hear a word about how God will make a way out of no way but instead hears about the persecution of the gays who then leaves and holds my bank hostage while i’m trying to pull out rent money….just might. No one sin is greater than another. Shouting “no homo” is not only stupid, but saying that you are not the same…when in fact you are. You too are human, you too are a sinner looking to be saved, and you too are praying that one day you will get into heaven despite your faults. So much like weight, who a homosexual loves just happens to be a visual habit that many feel they can pick on while keeping their own personal habits in the closet.

        This is not a rant to say that “Christians” are wrong and homosexuals are right. Just like I am entitled to my opinion, you are more than welcome to be bigoted by yours. *smirk* I just know that I can wake up with my conscience free every morning knowing that I am not hating someone or a sect of persons just because someone standing before me says that I should. God hasn’t spoken that chapter of the Bible to me yet.

        All jokes aside, I don’t believe everything that I read because many a man has had their say so in what I read before my eyes ever set sail across the page. But I do believe that God exists and my relationship with him is one of understanding and love. I am comfortable in that and will not let anyone else’s interpretation of how my Father and I behave taint my relationship with Him or how He chooses to shine through me. Again, you “christian” your way and I will “christian” my way..yes, I made it a verb. lol. It shouldn’t be that way, but as it stands….this is peaceful. Now…back to the gays…..

        Being a homosexual, to me, isn’t a crime……hate my theory all you want, I will not change. I say this… premarital sex isn’t favored upon….lets hold everyone to that standard no matter what your preference. Because I would hate for someone to not get saved and know God like I am still getting to know him just because they chose to love differently than myself. I have faith that God can work miracles and if GOD chooses to keep them homosexual…then that is between God and that person. I must uphold the love, grace, and mercy that has been shown to me and display it to others who come in my presence. I’m not a homosexual, nor am I heterosexual,;I am the understanding. I understand what it feels like to want someone to hear you out. I also know what it feels like to hear God telling me what to do, not tainted in my mission and do it in spite of. I also know that God would want me to love far more than he would ever want me to hate. And if I am wrong in that assumption, He’ll deal with me on my Judgement Day. Until then… all humans are alright with me. None of us are 100 % right nor know all of the answers, but I will definitely love you until we find a conclusion or one of us dies. And if these men don’t start acting right I just might cash in my lesbian on paper membership to a full fledge flag waving VIP member… DON’T PUSH ME!!! No hetero.

P.S. If you like this topic, check out my other topic: 200 Men Said…. “Same”phobic Homosapiens <~Click Here

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~