~*2Deep*~

The Game: Derwin’s Got Sum ‘splaining to Do~Ep3

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 26 January 2011 at 12:02 am

Need a recap? Or need Russ Parr Morning Show to pay your cable bill? Okay, here ya go, Check out my blogs on the first two episodes here:

Episode 1:  Don’t Call it a Comeback <~Click Here

Episode 2:  The Game~ Episode 2 <~Click Here

So, I saw the previews for tonight’s episode last week and almost dislocated my knee to reach the remote to rewind. I must admit, I am in therapy for having watched it 20 times. Yes… I am a tad bit obsessive compulsive. DON”T JUDGE ME!!! I did it for you. Who else is gonna keep it real with your ass? But I digress. Okay. The marketing team did a great job of chopping up scenes that my God Gut ( that’s what Ma Dear use to call it) was telling me didn’t go together. So, with my Pandora station playing in my ear…. let me speculate on tonight’s episode.

So, First off…. why is this girl in their house? Who is this girl you wonder? Well… that is what I am for. After renewing my Black Woman Intuition and activating my Go-Go Gotcha Bitch, I have discovered…and this is just a speculation… that the mystery woman in the previews is none other than JAZZ! All of my The Game fans know exactly who Jazz is. I think her ghetto name is Jazzamena something WhoGivesAFuck, but she was the girl at the table with Javon (Bumper Robinson..I think that’s his name) during Melanie & Derwin’s engagement dinner at Malik’s house. Yeh…THAT BITCH! The one that everyone on the team has slept with. So, supposedly Javon proposed to her… soooooo what is she doing in Melanie and Derwin’s house? Yes… can’t you tell I’m ready to fight the trick off of GP? I know she is a character.. DIDNT I TELL YOU I WAS IN THERAPY?! So… This is why I entitled this blog Derwin’s Got Sum ‘splainng to Do.  I can’t wait!

Okay…side note: I left home this morning and forgot to set my DVR, so I drove home, set it, and went to a performance and will still try to make it back to watch it in real-time. BEcause if ‘AIN bitch on TWITTER spoils this for me…. I….wooo saaaahhh. I told you I was in therapy!

(Made it in the house with 5 mins to spare, stripped, changed in to comfy clothes & managed to get Chipotle on my way home. Your girl is BAAAAAD!)

The show will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, #GameOn , Bitches!

FINALLY!!!!! Malik and his mama speak!!! It took 3 episodes. That is some straight mess! So, it took him 2 years of this black hole for him and his mama to cut the umbilical cord? He doesn’t even listen to his mama the way that he use to. THAT’S NOT RIGHT!!! Why do I have a feeling that I’m going to yell a lot during this episode?

YES!!! I called it!! That is JAZZ!!! I’m a true The Game fan. Top that bitches!!!!! But really, why is she okay with her husband calling out the stats of anther flunkie? There is NOT that much self-esteem in the world. I know for a fact that God kept that kid of hubris for himself. For the slow folks…. google hubris! Ummm… who is this Rick Ross , Larry Hoover, Big Meech, MC Hammer looking motherfucker? His beard reminded me to schedule my bikini wax….damn! Please do NOT tell me that this look is coming in style. I’ll watch a marathon of Let’s Stay Together before I allow black men  to start doing this! Dont make me do it!

Hooooooooooooooooooooold the fuck up! Did Melanie take over as Sun Beam president. LMAO!!!

Ummm T-T…..Not dyslexic chimps! Okay…wait… T-T’s name is Terrance? It took us four years to find out what his name is. Okay… Malik and T-T just need to kiss and make up.  And this bug-eyed bitch that is Malik’s assistant is scaring me. MAKE HER BLINK!!!, LAWD , PLEASE MAKE HER BLINK!!!

P.S> I love the slight plug of the iPad Touch.  The Game must be PAID!!!!

Okay, that brains joke.. DEAD! Like Men on FIlm… “Hated It!” I see where you TRIED to go with that, but it was a no go. Maybe the pick up was too slow. Comedy has to come faster than a virgin in the grasp of Super Head. What? I know yall saw the video with Mr. Marcus…. I just heard about it. I mean really… isn’t this another scene that they are trying to catch us up on? I mean, hasn’t Jazz been a player’s wife for 2 years? WAIT! Did this bitch just call Derwin “baby”? LMAO!!! NOW THAT SCENE ON THE STEPPING STOOL WAS COMEDY!!!

Wait… is that a NUDE swim suit or is this Uncut? I’m is so confused-ed and wanting to go to the gym. Hell.. even I know that this bitch aint doing her job! LMAO!!! “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you only clapped your ass 3 times”

Oh lawd! I’m calling child protective services!! Just for Javon’s lil boy to even be in the same scene. Speaking of child protective services.  I SWEAR JAZZ LOOKS LIKE NICKI MINAJ! I was trying to put a finger on why I was itching! True shit… I have broken out into hives. I APPLAUD THE CASTING DIRECTOR! She was one pink weave track , a facial expression stolen from a seizure patient and a turrets induced vocal inflection away from being Barbie, Bitch. So….I agree with Melanie’s reason for being upset about Jazz trying to be a role model. And Tasha made a good point. Is the coochie the only way a woman can make it in Hollywood? WOW!!!!

Melanie shaking her butt. Ummm ( I love you Tia)…..but erah ummmm. HELL NAWL!

HELL NO! Rodney King, get the fuck back in the car Malik. Wait… that’s it?! Lawd…. can we still some time from Let’s Stay together and make it an hour show?

Ummm… where is the preview for next week’s episode? The marketing team is playing with my damn emotions! Oh wait… there it is. I cant remember what is supposed to happen next week.  Okay… it doesn’t matter. I will be watching. The only thing that I ask for next season… don’t wrap things up so swiftly. You are solving problems that was big enough to remain for 2 years in one episode.  I still have your back. Thanks for being back.

My over all grade of this episode: C+. Something that use to be there isnt there any more and I just cant put my finger on it.  It is slowly coming back…..and I mean slooooowly. I have faith that you will get it back. I just think that there is too much going on. The sets arent the same, the relationships arent the same…its just too much to swallow all at once. I know we are complaining, but you know how black folks do when it comes to new shit. We’ll never like it off the bat. But….. next season better be better. Now, touch the screen and agree!!!

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~

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