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Posts Tagged ‘Terrance J’

2011 BET Awards

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 27 June 2011 at 3:44 am

Okay, so, I had a show to do tonight and so I wished that I could have been home to watch it first hand with everyone else and have this already once it wrapped… but that is not my fate tonight. Shout Out to my Muse Café fam for booking a show on the same night as the Sell Out Awards!!!! Smart…lol. So I am picking up where my DVR began. Let’s Go!

So, I first have to say that I find it hilarious that Karmin managed to be on the BET Awards! I AM A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, but if I did it to the Justin’s and Eminem I have to do it to them… DAMN… it’s the BLACK Entertainment Television Awards. So obviously you don’t have to be black, just do our music…lol. Shout out to Paul Mooney…lol. But I still have the utmost respect for them and EVERYTHING they do I will support it! It is positive and they turn dirty lyrics into clean lyrics and I respect that. Now if Busta really does do something with them I will be the FIRST in line to buy it.

Now, @Mattieologie on Twitter said,”Kanye needed to bombard the stage and say Debra Lee’s dressdoesnt care about black people.” THAT IS THE FUNNIEST TWEET EVER!!! When I saw this horrible ass dress I thought back to the Chitterling Circuit when they had the “Mammy” dresses where the slave children came up from under her tent dress. I swear Step and Fetch It were about to break out into a routine. I really don’t like this woman. Ugh.

Look at the TEETH on Lastarr!!! She looks gorgeous in her glam make-over… but those teeth are HUGE!

Okay… Racks on Racks On Racks….The dancers behind him look like retired strippers. They look so broke down. Lol. But at least I can FINALLY understand what the fuck that he is saying. *Fast Forward* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Did Nelly roll up on the stage and create a remix. AND THEN HE HAD THE NERVE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO ALABAMA UNIVERSITY’S BITCH ASS ROLL TIDE?!!!!!!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE, BITCH!!!! Auburn University to the day I die and BEYOND!!! Alabama stand up! I just tweeted mad tweets about it. UGH!!! I don’t like Nelly any more because of that. Smdh.

MARY J!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She almost doesn’t look like MJB! She’s gotten a little thicker so I guess that is why. But she still looks beautiful. Poor Mary, she has never been able to hold an 8 count for longer than 2 bars, but boy can she sing her ass off or WHAT! I love her! I want that metal belt too! WHAT!!!! She brought miss Anita Baker out?!!! I stood up in my own damn house and clapped for Miss Anita!!!! And because I respect some of my elders I will try my hardest not to comment on her dress…just know that I am thinking that it is too short and ill-fitted. That bottom slip is creeping and scaring the mess out of me with these cameras at the bottom of the stage. But her voice is FOREVER ON POINT!!! Jadakiss! Khalid is like the modern day hype man. And Reginae is in the audience next to Drake looking cute in the audience. Okay…. I am not feeling this premier of MJBs… she started screaming. I have a thing about premiering new stuff live.

Awww MC Lyte is narrating it again!

Who are these little kids dancing to Lil Wayne’s 6 Foot 7 Foot?OH SNAP! That was a little girl that did the head spin. B-Girls in the house! All of them combined are 20 years old…lol. But they can dance! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL Nawl! Kevin Hart did not come out there with that weak ass step like he pledged Midget Phi Heightless! Bwhahahahaahh I am cracking up at this. These kids are out stepping his ass! Hahahahahaah comedy! WOWZERS!!! Reginae and Lil Wayne smiled at the same time and I be damned if this isn’t the first time that I thought she looks JUST LIKE HER DADDY! We always see her with Toya, but nawwwww babay, that is Baby Carter all day!

So Little Kevin Hart is the host for this year….. gonna be funny. Bwhahaha He asked Busta Rhymes if he is wearing a brain, because he vest is suspect. Oh lawd! Kevin introduced the “No Man”. Its much like they “Yes Man” of the group except it is the person who tells you the truth about everything and I have a feeling he is about to go IN on his friends. Kevin says: “Fabolous, take the shades off. I’m sick of it; I don’t want to see it any more.” “Trey Songz, stop taking your shirt off. You look like a beige greyhound.” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh lawd I can’t take it. That one almost made me pee myself!!! “Ne-Yo, take the hat off. Wait! False alarm. Keep it on. I saw your head. I saw Ne-Yo’s head in Stomp the Yard and first thing I thought was ‘Take me to your leader’” GO IN , KEVIN!!!!! Hahahahahahaha “Snoop, it’s not legal, I don’t care how much you try to make it legal. Everyone knows what I’m talking about, I don’t need to say it.” “Here’s my problem with Jamie [Foxx]. Jamie got in a fight at an Usher Concert. …..First of all, what the hell was your old ass doing at an Usher concert? Second of all, what song does Usher have that pissed you off to the point that you felt you needed to fight? Was it OMG? ‘If I hear OMG one more time I’m going to punch my manager in the got damn face.’ You’ve got to start acting your age.” “Which brings me to Puff. Here’s my problems with you; I’m sick of the nicknames. …No one cares about the nick names. You know what people care about…Where the hell is Craig Mac!”

I love how Taraji called herself a gadget-gadget girl. The Rep. Wiener joke kind of flop but it was cool that they are viewing votes off of the HTC tablets instead of envelopes.

Best MaleR&B
Chris BrownWinner
Cee Lo Green
Bruno Mars
Trey Songs
Usher

Okay, so WTF Is up with this broke down look that Chris Brown has on with this chin guard? I’m blown. Did he forget it as an award show? Black people we have to do better. And this dress is NOT cute, to me, on LaLa… I have seen her do better. Her side view’s nice but her frontal is giving me odd shapes.

I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE REED BETWEEN THE LINES!!!!!!! Two of my favorite people coming back on television. $500 Kelsey Grammar has something to do with this…lol.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo, I have to fast forward because someone told me that I would be visually molested by Rick Ross’s titties!!! Can I press charges from home? Sooooo WTF is Drake used via a track when he is in the house? That looked stupid. *Fast Forward. * I wish this nigga [Ace Hood] would pull his damn pants up. Seeing his draws is NOT the business… it makes you look stupid. At least Weezy has on the longest Wife Beater I’ve seen in my life and it covers his ass. AH!!!!!! I still caught a glimpse of his titties!!!!!!!!!! I’m suing BET. You’ll bleep cuss words but wont blur this bastard whale tits?!!!! WTF is wrong with you! Audience Shot: I love how Trey Songz’ shirt says “Happiness is Expensive”. The Smith family is comical to watch jam to this song [Hustle Hard]. Puuuuuuure comedy. Even Will was getting down but Willow was jamming the hardest though.

I am in LOVE with Tracee Ellis Ross’ outfit!!!!!! She is soooooo freaking gorgeous!!!! And Malcom Jammal Warner…. Baby!!!!!

Young Stars Award
Shenell Edmonds
KeKe Palmer
Diggy Simmons
Jaden Smith-Winner

Willow Smith-Winner


Before they announce the winner… Ihave to wonder if this is the first time that siblings ( under the age of 14) have ever had to go up against each other in an award show category. And then I have to wonder…..how will Jaden feel when Willow takes this. I could easily eat my words as soon as I press play, but that is my opinion. Wait… they have a tie!! Hahahaha its Jaden AND Willow Smith…hahaha I think they did that on purpose…lol. But congrats to them both. I bet it wouldn’t have been a tie if it was Keke or Shenelle. Just saying. Awww so cute that Jaden and Willow hugged each other before going up there… *Rewind* Jada & Will look like the proudest parents in the entire world!!!! But WTF is Jada wearing? These zebra inspired pants with this gold top? Really, Jada? I love that here you have two kids who are doing it CLEAN!!!! I applaud them both for not selling out to the business to make it! Your daddy made millions…you can make it too. We need clean art! DON’T CHANGE!!!

Kevin said: “Rick [Ross], if you want to come out and open your shirt up, I feel like you should at least put a sports bra on. It was all over the place; you’ve got to take them down, you’ve got to do something.” “Will, I’m gonna talk about Jada’s pants when I come back. I didn’t forget about those pants.” I TOLD YOU!!!

Bwhahahahah Kevin said about Real Housewives and Basketball Wives: “they let women who have never met each other pretend like they’ve been friends for life.” Hahahahahah So true! “So it has inspired me to make a show of my own.” HEEEEEEEELLLL NAWL! The Real Husbands of Hollywood. Starring Bobby Brown [aka Da King], Kevin Hart [aka Little Trick], Jermaine Dupri [aka JD], and Nelly [aka The Juice Man]. Lawd, after this skit I have seen it all! Hahahahahaha. BWAHAHAH! And then Kevin puts on a shirt that says, “I’m a factor, bitch!” hahahahaha Tammi must be having a fucking field day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahah Okay, I HAVE to give the play by play of this skit, otherwise you wont know why I am laughing so damn hard.

Sitting at the table, seemingly playing cards, are Nelly, Bobby Brown, Kevin Hart, JD, and Anthony Anderson.
Nelly: You, Kev. I’m calling you a bitch, Kev.
Kev: That’s funny, because I see a bigger bitch sitting across from me with an Apple Bottom t-shirt on. Let me tell you something, dude. You’re a non-motherfucking factor, homie. You’re a non-motherfucking factor, dude.
Side interview with Kevin: Why would I think that Nelly is NOT on the juice? Looks like a gotdamn pitbull on a leash. I aint never seen nobody’s neck that damn strong, on a human.
Nelly throws a glass of water in Kevin’s face from across the table.
Side interview with Nelly: (Rubs his face to gather thoughts). Uhhh, he looked thirsty.
Kev: (Wiping his eyes) JD!
JD: Why you keep calling my name?!
 Side interview with Bobby: I started this House Husband thing. I was, you know, the first one to land me one of the big fish. You know, it’s a fishing pole, it’s a broom stick. Either way, you can catch something with it.
Anthony: What?!
(Kevin takes off his shirt to wipe the water off his face because it has gotten in his eyes and this reveals the HUGE tattoo on his back that says Mariah. In walks Nick Cannon while the “Mariah” tatt is revealed.)
Side interview with Nick: He knows how I feel about my wife
Kev: (to Nick) Why the fuck you come back from the bathroom looking like Lisa Raye for?  (Nick throws another glass of water in Kevin’s face)
Side interview with Kevin: Look man, I tried to explain to Nick’s little drummer boy ass what the tattoo was about. It don’t have nothing to do with Mariah. She’d not the only Mariah in the world. I could name another Mariah. (pause and faces as he tries to think of another Mariah but fails). Mariah carry is the only one that comes to my mind…. now.
(Close out of the clip with the mock show’s outro)

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Presses rewind all over again*

Keri Hilson and Laz Alonso…. Cute skit.

Best Female Hip Hop Artist

(It doesn’t take a genius to know that Nicki wont this, right?)

Diamond
Cymphonique
Lola Monroe
Nicki Minaj-Winner

I love how Nicki is taking Weezy and Drake on stage. She ACTUALLY looks decent and cut in this stripped pink dress. Nicki said “Wow, I cant believe I won” and the entire audience laughs at the fact that she really didn’t have any competition….lol. Telling statement of the times of female hip hop artists, isn’t it? But she comes back with a “no, no, no, no.” because she knows why they laughed. And as hard as she tried… we were all ready to laugh at anything she said pertaining to the fact of “she didn’t expect to win”. Bwhahahaha. Now THIS is comedy!

JILL SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She looks just as beautiful in this red dress as she did a few weeks ago when I had lunch with her while she wore a simple shirt and jeans. This woman is flawlessly gorgeous! So the name of the bar is Warm Daddy’s; it the back drop for Jill’s set. HOLD THE FUCK UP!!!! My play baby’s daddy, Idris “I would drink this man’s bath water” Elba just walked into the set! BET why are you playing with my motherfucking emotions?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her voice is amazing!!! I love the backdrop for this song. Beautiful!!!! If you have not gone to pick up a copy of The Light of the Sun, then honey….you are 5 days late! What are you waiting on! And Idris need not sit with his legs open liked that. I am not saved today, besides….I rewound Takers enough during his boxer brief scene to know what he is working with, THANK YOU, LAWD!

And apparently, Idris Elba won Best Actor Award; would have missed that if I had fast forwarded through this commercial. Plus the trailer for The Help, which was an amazing book so I cant wait for the movie!

Helllll nawl! He did NOT bring out the 5 Heartbeats!!!!!!!! I’m never going to sleep. I’m gonna watch that at 5 o’clock in the morning after I finish blogging this! Hahahahahaha. But who was off beat in the back. It wasn’t Duck because he is up front near Church. Oh shit… it was Michael Wright’s off beat ass! Eddie Cane, Eddie Cane. Wow!!!! “So, how does it feel to be me.?” Lol.

Best Group
Cali Swa District
Dirty Money-Winner

N.E.R.D
New Boyz
Travis Porter

Public Service Announcement: I REFUSE to call them Diddy Dirty Money. Y’all are just Dirty Money to me. But I LOVE how they were all dressed up in all white, Dirty Money that is.

The music ministry of Mali Music….? Did I say that right? All the way from Savannah, Georgia. I love the way that he starts out. Interesting.

Best Movie: For Colored Girls-Winner
Best Video Director of the Year: Chris Robinson-Winner

Okay… ummm. Why does Chris Brown have on Mickey Mouse pants? Did his knee caps swell? We’ve seen his dick so I know that’s NOT it. And the 80s inspired shoulder-pad, armless jacket is creepy. And what’s up with the M.C Hammer pajama pants after the wardrobe change at the start of Look At Me Now? Ummm.. I’m is confused-ed….yes, I’m is. And Umm…BET, you missed ALL of his cuss words. Lol. Yo, but the HUGE eyes on the side as Busta busses it!!!!!!! FIRE!!! Uhhhhh Busta is my other baby daddy, after David Banner, because he just gets finer and finer the older he gets!!! Busta could get it from the grave, I swear he could! Chris Brown’s Isolations are off the chain. And the way he jumped off the stage and ended his performance by scaring the shit out of the people in the front row as his feet hurled towards their faces…..classic!

And damn, even M.C. Lyte gets wardrobe changes? Hahhahaha. She looks fab though so I don’t mind….I just noticed.

I saw Pooch Hall twitpic them backstage with Brandon T Jackson. Just wonderful! Plus, HOSEA CHANCHEZ CAN ALWAYS GET IT!!! ALABAMA STAND UP!!! Y’all see how we make ‘em in the south! Hosea is fine enough to stalk if I didn’t already have goals, fear jail, and had a good paying job. I’d snitch on the people who robbed Jesus’ gave to spend 3 hours with him. I just need Hosea, some magnum condoms (I’ve seen the pics. Anything less wouldn’t work….TRUST ME), butter pecan ice cream, a New York Candle, silk scarves, 2 poodles, and scooter. What? DON’T JUDGE ME!!!

Best Colaboration
B.o.B f/ Hayley Williams of Paramore ( I LOVE Paramore BTW) for Airplanes
Chris Brown, f/Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes for Look At me Now-Winner

Chris Brown f/ Tyga & Kevin McCall for Deuces
Waka Flocka Flame f/ Roscoe Dash & Wale for No Hands
Rihanna f/ Drake for What’s My Name
Kanye West f/ Rihanna for All of the Lights

I think that it would suck for Chris or Rihanna NOT to win this category when you were nominated TWICE! But thankfully Chris did win! Bwahahaha Chris said, “Public speaking is not my strong suit.” HILARIOUS!!! Busta took it home as he quoted the song, “ Gotta taste and I gotta grab it, and I gotta cut all through this traffic just to be at the top of the thrown. Let ‘em know we gotta have it!”

Subway Sportsman and Sportswoman of the Year:
Michael Vick and Serena Williams-Winners

Oh lord…. I HATE unreleased songs….even if it is sung by Alicia Keys. I guess that her pregnancy gave her a thing for being on top of pianos. You remember that shit that scared us all? And ummm… why does her hair look like her and Swizz got it on in a broom closet before she was scheduled to come out to perform. Okay, Mama still have baby belly. Don’t you all have personal trainers for stuff like that? Because a wide flat butt is NOT cute… trust me. I am the President of Assless Anonymous. Wait, I thought Kevin said this was a never heard before song? And Bruno Mars is sounding SOOOOO much better than that other performance he did where he sounded like ass. What?! Don’t hate me, shiiit. Hate his vocal couch for not warming his ass up that time. Would it be wrong of me to fast forward through this? AH!!!!! Rick Ross came out! In fear of seeing his tits again… I MUST fast forward this!

This Nick Minaj Barbies and Justin Bieber’s Bieber-fever fans face-off is hilarious!

Best Male Hip Hop
B.o.B.
Drake
Lil Wayne
Rick Ross
Kanye West- Winner


So Kanye could not be there. Was it me or did Nicki sound disappointed that it wasn’t Weezy?

I’m trying to figure out who Diggy looks like because LAWD if that boy was legal I would tell y’all how fine he is. But he did mention the http://www.BET/com/ctmd site.

WOW! Kerry Washington always looks gorgeous. Deidra Sanders, 2 time All-American athlete from Georgetown University. She began the Grassroot Project which teaches AIDS awareness to young people. Howard Gentry, in 1979, he founded Young Blacks in Action, Inc after being frustrated over the lack of positive afterschool activities for Orlando students. We salute them for their efforts.

Is it me or does Big Sean look like the love child of Ralph Tresvant and Tevin Campbell? And what is up with Chris Brown doing the Diddy Stroll? I swear he threatened me to “take that” at the end of the walkway. I did NOT know that the song said, “hit this ass up like its my last”. Thanks BET censors for fucking up on your job! Lol. Wait… was that Raven’s friend from That’s So Raven dancing in the isle? WTF are Disney kids doing dancing to secular music? Lol

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I talked about Ralph and out comes Johnny Gill. Lol He brought out Kimberly Nichole from Seattle Washington. And I would listen to what she is trying to sin but this orange ass tu-tu is throwing me off.

OH SHIT!!! I am going to wake up the entire neighborhood in my suburban haven by laughing at this second clip of The Real Husbands of Hollywood…. bwhahahahahahahahaha
They are all sitting around the poker table again.
Kevin: You know, all of that throwing water and juice on me… that’s one stop. I took those because I was thirsty, don’t do it again. I could have busted your ass, Nick, but I didn’t.
Side interview with Nick: I’m in a new place right now. Zen mode, but I can defend myself.
Bobby Brown: The King use to take Judo back in September of ’84.
Silence in the room

Kevin:
 Okay, Bobby, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about; I don’t even know why you said it. But I know what, I know who you wont fight… Eminem.
Bobby Brown, JD, Anthony, & Nelly: Whoa!
Nick: (jumps up and takes off his jacket) Fuck it! Aight, I’m tired of this. I will whoop Eminem’s butt, I aint scared of him. Matter of fact, I’ll whoop any white boy who’s name starts with an M; Macaulay Culkin, Matthew McConaughey, Melanie Griffith.
Side interview with Nick: The man’s talking about your wife and you cant really rap. Whatchu ‘sposed to do?
Nick: (yelling) I’ll whoop everybody. Bobby, I’ll whoop your ass!
Bobby: What the King do? Hold Up, Hold up!
Nelly: Now that’s the juice.
Nick: (to Kevin) Say something else, Kev.
Kevin: The only thing I will say is…. is that you need to work on your legs. That’s all I’m saying. He’s a little too big up top.
Nick pours an ENTIRE bucket of water on Kevin. BWHAAHAHAH Kevin does the scream he does from his comedy routine, the way he says his son screams, and then runs off in the MOST HILARIOUS WAY I HAVE EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN RUN IN MY LIFE!!!
Bobby: You know the King knocked out Scott Bell back in ’94. Bloooo Bloooop.

THESE FOOLS ARE OFF THE HOOK!!!

I’m straight up telling my age for even knowing who Cherelle and Alexander O’Neal are….lol.

Best New Artist
J. Cole
Bruno Mars
Miguel
Willow Smith
Wiz Khalifa- Winner

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww did he really just Kiss Amber Rose on her forehead. Ummmm it looked like two dudes kissing. What? You were thinking it too!

Awwwwww Nia Long looks GORGEOUS!!!!! I mean, she always does… but she makes a beautiful mommy-to-be.

I’m confused with Trey Songz’ jacket. And he is stripping from the beginning!!! He wasted no time saying, “Fuck You , Kevin Hart. My beige greyhound body pays my bills!” bahahahaha LIRL. One thing about Trey, when I met him a few years ago, you would never believe how thick he really is. He looks very slender but he has some mass to him…sexy. Until….I see this negro’s draws. Pull ya pants up negro! Look at Queen Latifah singing along. Wait…t he timing of this transition was HILARIOUS!!! If you have this on your DVR…rewind it. Right when Trey says, “Even I need a little motivation” the male dancer for Kelly Rowland’s performance rolls up behind, in the background, and props his legs open right beside Trey’s right side ( your left if you’re looking at the screen, which you are)….hahahahahahah Wrong camera angle, BET….but thanks for the laugh! *rewind*

Okay, I really am a Kelly Ro fan, yes I am. …..but she has always had this delayed rhythm. I almost want to tell her not to dance and just sing. But I am loving this hat, circa Mary J Blige No More Haters. I am loving that she is singing live!!!! BEAUTIFUL! I want her shoes!! Damn…. This break down!!! *licks lips!* Did she rob a male strip club in L.A. for these dancers? Uhmph. Okay, WTF was that nose-bleed section camera shot for?!!!! You mean to tell me that you switched so we couldn’t see Trey pat Kelly’s ass? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!? You INVENTED UNCUT?!!!!! Wait… was Trey really on K-Ro like that as they went down into the trap floor?!!!

I stand and SALUTE the men and women of our Armed Forces!!!! As a military kid… I will FOREVER salute you! Thank you!

Here comes Debra Lee with this mammy Dress! I really hate this woman. *Fast Forward*

State Farm Humanitarian Award: Steve Harvey
Best International Act (UK): Tinie TempahWinner
Best International Act ( Africa): 2Face Idibia/ D’Banj (NAIJA STAND UP!!!!)Winner

The tribute to Bishop Walter Hawkins was absolutely wonderful. I almost felt bad for cussing just a few sentences earlier. But then I saw Nicki Minaj pretending to know the lyrics to Thank You and I laughed too hard to feel remorse. I grew up on this song! You better go ahead and sang that son Deitrick!!! If Tye Tribbet comes out… I’m gonna have church in my room. OH SNAP!!! Mary Mary!!! Donnie was enough, but they are trying to save the entire audience…. TINA BETTER BLOW!!!

OhLAWD.org! Here come The Braxtons!! I love how Toni came out first though. And WTF does Tamar have on? Did she and Toni not get the “we’re wearing white dresses” memo?

Best Gospel Artist
Mary Mary-Winner

Miss Gladys Knight!!!!! She still looks beautiful I tell you black doesn’t even contemplate cracking! Oh yeh… she is honoring Patti LaBelle. Patti, Patti look amazing!!!!! I wonder if Patti will come out of those shoes tonight? Lol. Y’all know that she is good for it. Hahahaha I love how they showed her kicking off her shoes after I said it…lol. I told you!!! YOU BETTER SANG IT, PATTI! Wait… lmao!! That is Cee Lo Green….hahahahaha All I saw from a distance was the hat! But his voice speaks perfectly. I’m gonna need for his voice to stop going out like my co-pastor after the spirit hits her during the sermon. But somebody loves you baaaaaaaaaaaaaby! Wait… all I heard was Cee Lo say : Don’t act like you motherfuckers bleeeeeeeeeep” lmao! Marsha Ambroisa…….beautiful. “If you only knew”….. how perfectly this song fist Marsha’s voice. And out come Mother Shirley Ceasar!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’all her husband use to be the Archbishop over my church until my Bishop tool over… so we are bound to see her show up in the pews from time to time. Mother Shirley Ceasar is sanging the life out of this song….yes, sanging!!! Okay. I can’t cuss any more in this blog after this…..unless Debra Lee shows back up. Mother Ceasar looks like an angel or fairy godmother, doesn’t she? Yep, Patti STILL sounds PHENOMENAL!!!!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did the girl, Tiffany Green ( some contest winner) just say that the CoCa Cola Viewer’s Choice Award winner was Chris Brown’s Look At Me Now then retract it and say Rihanna’s What’s My Name?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasped so hard, along with the audience, in my room I had to go to the bathroom to take some Chloroseptic!!!! Where they do that at?!!! Wasn’t her tablet working? She looked like she was squinting at the teleprompter. I’m so confused!!!! *Rewind* Yep, like Terrance J & Drake said, “This is awkward”. Who messed that up? And then they said that the winner was Drake’s What’s My Name. I did mention that I was confused, right? WOW!!!! Did Tiffany mess up or did the teleprompter mess up? Tiffany looks so confused. WOW!!!

Cali Swag District came with Doug E Fresh to remember M Bone and Nate Dogg. Rest in peace. Snoop and Warren G come for Nate Dogg I LOVE how Queen Latifah got to do Gil Scott Herron’s famous piece. I will ALWAYS cherish the time I spent with him before I opened for him in the summer of 2009. That was one BRILLIANT man. Ledisi does Tina Marie.

Lord…..it is 3:36 am and I have to be AT work in 5 hours….soooooo. I’m going to bed and then I will finish blogging tomorrow. Yeh….. G-night/morn….which ever coast you’re on…lol

Oh snap! Another skit for the Real House Husbands of Hollywood!!!!!

Side interview with Kevin: I found me a nice, healthy, wholesome woman that’s sweet….                                                                        

In walks Tammi Roman from Basketball Wives

Tammi: Where’s Kevin?

Nelly & JD: Oh Shit!

Tammi: Oh shit is right. I said, where is Kevin?

Side interview with Kev: …..Kind hearted

Tammi: JD! Where’s Kevin, witcha lil’ ass?

Side interview with Kev: ……She has the voice of an angel

Tammi: An FYI, he is taller than you.

JD stands up from the table as if to confront Tammi

Tammi: (to JD) Okay? So what? Because I can fit your little ass in this purse

Side interview with Kev: ….and I thank God for this woman….EVERY day.

Tammi: Nick, I want to know where Kevin is and I need you to be talking now! Do me a favor, tell Mariah do not tweet me when I pop that ass. Cause if I find out that any one of y’all have but a hand on my baby, Kevin, its gonna be on and crack-a-lackin’ up in here. KEVIN!

Kevin: (from far away w/ a voice that sounds like he’s been crying) I’m in the back

Tammi: Mmmmm Hmmmm. He’s in the back. You better hope that aint NOTHING wrong with him. I brought Big Bertha for y’all asses.

JD, Nelly, Bobby, and Anthony get up and run from the table and out of the house before Tammi comes back.

Side interview with Kev & Tammi: Yeh, I called my Lady! So what?

 

Lmao!!! These fools right here! I really need this to become a show! Kevin has started something right about now!

Whiz Khalifa begins to walk up and present and then Kevin comes out as Chocolate Drop. lmao! You need to Google his YouTube vids. He is cracking me up. The top of his head comes to Khalifa’s arm pits…lol. Kevin looks like somebody’s little brother…lol.. I cant stop laughing!!!! I just put the Drake performance on Play-Fast Forward where you can still hear the words…. the song is STILL hot at this speed. You should try it. lol.

Ne-Yo comes out and introduces Beyonce. I mean, I wondered when she was coming on, but I guess I should have known that they would save the best for last. Even if she is all the way over in England performing at the Glastonbury Music Festival. I want the outfit of the pieanist behind her. So cute. I bet that Lisa Raye is eyeballing this white ensemble too. lol. I want Beyonce’s shoes….cute!!!! I am trying to think back to a time when Beyonce performed in something other than a swimsuit. I think it has been years since she’s worn pants or longer bottoms…lol. What? I’m just saying…we could be her gynocologists at this point. We’ve seen her crotch from every angle. And then she decides to do a song off her new album called The End of Time. Didnt I already tell you how I feel about performing new songs. Thanks camera man for being in her crotch…. I told you! Ummm… why was the black girl in the suidence singin along? Ummm is this out yet? But I do like this song…. so she gets a pass.

The commercial came back saing “In Loving Memory of John Cossette: 1957-2011”. I am going to do some research to figure that out.

Also, Kevin brought Chris Brown out to address the whole Viewer’s Choice Award issue. Chris did win the award and Tiffany and the tablet were correct.  Chris also won the Fandamonium award. Now, if Kev falls off this segway I am laughing my ass off. And where did they et this bike for Chris from?  And why does Kev have a helmet on? hahahaha funny. Okay, this show had its funny moments but kev was the funniest host. Je can come back.

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The Game~ Game Over

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 30 March 2011 at 1:57 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

Episode 11: Baby, Baby Please

 

        Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.

     I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*.  But…..on to the Finale.

        Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.

        Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!

       Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?!  But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.

        Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol

        WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.

        Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff.  Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back  next season and fix it.

        SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me.  WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.

        Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.

Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~Baby, Baby Please

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 23 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

        Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.

        Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.

       Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.

       Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.

         Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.

           Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.

       NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!

       Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*

       LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass!  I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.

       Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is  calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.

       NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch.  It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ The Redemption

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 16 March 2011 at 12:02 am

 

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.

        Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.

So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea).  And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!

        AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao!  I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.

Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.

        And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick?  Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.

Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.

        DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed  Malik’s magic stick.

        Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.

        AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.

WTF?!!!A Commercial?

         Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!

         MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!

         So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.

         Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week.  And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~Kill Kelly!!!!!!

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 23 February 2011 at 12:02 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

 

Yeh, I am soooooo running behind. No time for a recap… hell, read all of the links above to catch up, witcho ( yes, witcho) late ass.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2 #GameOn Bitches

Okay, so I am running a little late. I just rushed in from choir rehearsal where we are rehearsing for How Sweet The Sound. So, Lord….pardon me for anything that pops up out of my mouth in this review.

First off, someone PLEASE pop Kelly dead smack in her clavicle every time she bugs her eyes out to prove a point! I really did send up a prayer between the third vamp at rehearsal that this episode, since it is Kelly centered, didnt suck ass. I am sooooo praying that it is true, because “I cried to the Lord, and the Lord,He heard me…..and saved me from my troubles” lol. All of you sinners not laughing at that need to find the nearest church and hug it until Sunday.

Wait, Malik is back in rehab? Oh yeh… forgot the dramatic scene at the end of last week. I feel like whooping a few people’s asses as well, so do I too suffer from emotional pain?

And I am not working for E! but why in the hell is Melanie wearing this fugly ass Greek Gone Bad dress with this fugly red purse? LMAO!!! Tasha Mack did NOT call him Ocho Uno…lmao! I wonder if Chad is watching. Wait… I know damn well they just didn’t let Kelly run up and through them like that! I wouldn’t care if I was practicing medicine or not… BITCH, Melanie is a DOCTOR! And then she is still married! So even if her and Derwin fall apart… she has something to make millions off of. Insert middle finger and an extended *Hater* here.

Who is the plus sized off beat bitch in the blue? Did she fuck the producer to get in front of the camera to dance that way in front of Fabolous? And… I noticed before how ill-proportioned Kelly was… but this mid drift top just proved it. Wait… is she REALLY dancing on Fabolous!?!!!!!!!! Fabolous didn’t know what to do with it so he just hit it twice…lmao! WOW!!! Jason called her Flat ass! lmao! Damn, did he just say that he ” doesnt mind that the apple falls far from the tree, just as long as it’s not a pathetic tree that knows how to make its ass clap”? LMAO!!! Jason is sooooooo my favorite this season. He is the one who stayed true to himself.

 Can someone please re-draw the eyebrows on this new Brittany? Oh Lawd!!! I cant take any more!

And I am liking “Jenna”. I wonder if she is a mole reporter for real. Or will she replace Meagan Good and date Malik when he leaves out? Hmmmm… I would love that twist.

Yes, down with Time Out… I dont believe in that bullshit. But I disgress. BEAT HER ASS! Lord… can Kelly get hit by a fucking bus!!! The realest that she is is when she is NOT talking….I know that made sense only to those who are just as frustrated as I am… but damn she use to could act. Again…. grammatical usage that only made sense to…oh hell, you know what the hell I meant.

Okay… why does this reunion between T-T & Malik look like something out of an 80s movie?  All we need is ol’ dude holding a boombox beside the truck. Awww…..Malik got Jenna… but that is rehab booty. And then T-T took Allison back? EWWWWWWWWW You are sharing Malik’s jizz!!! Just nasty. I need BOTH of them to step their game up. I guess you can turn a hoe into chicken truck housewife and crack head into a celeb wifey.

YES, JASON!!! LET THE BITCH GO AND REGROUP!! PLEASE!!! I’ll do the Pitts Dance. See, *Dip, & Pitts, & Dip, & Dip, & Diiiiiiiiip & Pitts!*

Next Episode: Ummmmmmm did Malik just pull a Tom Cruise on Mo’Nique’s couch? I swear he almost fell. Will watch just to see that. But really? How long are the episodes apart?  Love? With the Rehab booty? Really? Oh lawd! And did Med School really just smack the shit out of Derwin. Ummmmm Okay. That’s all I have people. I will do better next week. I promise.

Grade: C+ I see them trying, but any Episode where Kelly has more than a head nod and 4 words, it will always suck unless she can go back to her good acting and cut out the fucking bulging eye ball thing she keeps doing. That is all.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ Won’t Call it a Comeback?

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 16 February 2011 at 12:01 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

        Okay…. so I am sitting in my office refusing to leave until I can get this recap written up so that I can watch the show in piece. yes, I have to run home and hide all of my personal documentation because my maid comes tomorrow to clean. What? I don’t know that bitch. She can clean but she may steal too. I would hate to have to beat her ass and then call INS. (It’s not racist…I’m part Latina. it’s almost as if I said Nigga and I’m black). So.  Ummm. Oh yeh.

        Last week I was starting to get back into the swing of things. I still need them to pick a few sets to STAY WITH instead of showing us how much money BET is willing to dish out on this show by giving us a tour of local hotspots. The acting is getting better…but it isn’t quite there yet. I’m still hanging in there. I have moved my critique from 4 episodes to one season. that way they can hear all of the critiques that everyone is giving them and try to change them for next season. It is just taking us some getting use to, that is all. I mean, what is there to expect for people who have memorized entire episodes from 3 previous season. So get of my Saber jock strap, will ya!

       I am really looking forward to playing Usher’s “Papers” during the scene where Malik talks to the chick on the steps that looks like Usher’s ex-wife. I really think she may be a snitch to the media and blow Malik’s cover, but I am just speculating. I think Melanie is yelling at Kelly because her acting sucks this season and she should leave. I can’t remember much of anything else… but that just means that I have more to look forward to.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn , Bitches!

        Not that you care, but I am sitting on a mound of clean clothes that I have to fold. But…. I was praying that the opening would be a little less predictable. Let’s Stay Together is contagious!!!! Dont turn predictable, please don’t! I will sleep with  Kat Stacks unprotected before I allow The Game to get that bad.

        Speaking of bad…. in walks Kelly. Ummmm do stars actually just walk up in each other’s houses? Because Kelly just ALL the way up into Melanie’s house.  I soooo want her to get hit by the very party bus that she just suggested the Sun Beams use.

        Who is the actress that is playing Jenna? Like I said, she looks like Tameka.  Okay, ummmm this scene with the shrink in the rehab clinic just confused me. And with a mound of laundry i the crack of my ass I am unable to find the patience to even complain about it. In short, it was too simple and not much conflict. I think it would have been better if Malik would have gotten kicked out because now it is just too reckless of him to just walk out.

       ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Terrance J’s ASS IS IN THE AIR!!! Can we please feed this motherfucker and stop making him a sex symbol!!!! I can’t take it. I think I have the flu. Bird Chest Flu!!! Speaking of chests… is this the episode of Titty Free Actresses!!! Okay, yes, I am jealous that my tits are too huge to wear a dress lie that… but sweet Jesus ( not Christ) I think we should have a one breast sighting per episode.

       And Malik taking pills out in the open in a club!!!!!!!!!!! FUDGE NAWL!!!! LMAO!!!! That’s why Malik just got knocked the FUCK OUT!!!!! lmao! Where’s Chris Tucker when you need him? lmao!!!!!!! That was priceless. I still don’t like Malik this damn reckless. There has to be an ounce of humanity in him to make this believable. Damn, Robin Givens jacked him up. hahahahahaha. *Presses rewind on that sucker punch* LMAO! Doesnt get old.

       Why do I have a feeling…damn I couldn’t even type it fast enough. Tasha Mack got caught by Dontae Young.  DAMN! Wait, does this mean that Terrance J wont be on the next episode since he just broke up with Tasha? 

        WOW! Kelly Pitts did get breast implants because last season she was flat chested as a bitch! I told yall… one breast set minimum.

        Wait.. is that the same bathroom that Malik broke in the second episode? Okay, so they found a new club to attend? But at least this is a repeat set!!!LMAO!!! Malik running into the stall is fudging HILARIOUS! Wait… that’s not the same bathroom because they walked towards the camera and not out the door behind them. I am soooo confused with set direction. ARHH!

Snap! That was it…… *SIgh! and now this bullshit!

       My Grade: F-: There were three plots going but they took too long to establish and drug alog too slowly. The conclusion of them all was unbelievable. *Sigh* I can’t even find the strength or the free hand, since the other is picking a laundry wedgie, to complain. I WANT THIS TO GET BETTER!!! I know what it is…. whenever Kelly is in an episode, I hate it! I absolutely hate it! Okay, well let me finish folding and hanging these clothes. smh. I need a new closet. I don’t have space. and I have two more loads in the laundry room. TMI.. I know. Dueces.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ What Now?

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 9 February 2011 at 12:00 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

        Okay… usually my intros would be filled with witty banter and clever wordplay that would make a Sylvia Plath read seem joyous. But today… I had stuff to do. lol. I had to live my real life and I just got home from work. So, you’re just gonna have to deal with a tired artistic woman who is doing this because I like to make people like my homegirl from high school, Cristina, laugh and give me her blunt ass feedback the day after. LMAO!!! YEs… this is the best that you may get today.

        So, I really couldn’t remember what happened last week so I am sitting on my plush Ikea bed watching it again. I don’t know how I feel about that. I use to remember everything about this show and now I can’t even remember a week back. WOWZERS! But after watching a few moments of it, I remember that it was slow as hell, yet at the very end I ended up feeling as if I connected with how Malik felt by Derwin’s not being there at the conference. Yes, one redeeming factor. So…..was it worth watching? I guess, erah ummm, let me keep thinking on that.

       I really only saw Tasha Mack complaining that her money was hood rich and that she was proud of it….so I really have no clue what this week is supposed to be about. Oh yeh, Janay doesn’t want her son near the DNA police either. I guess they are working their way back to the multi-plot scheme that we grew to love. While I’m on what we grew to love… predictable ass sets. I think the only repeat sets that have made it from Episode 1 to 4 has been Tasha’s house and  Derwin/Melanie’s livingroom. I need to become familiar with things.Not even the characters are the same as we remember, so please give me a stable set….a foundation of sorts. Its starting to look more like a reality TV show, which doesn’t sit well with many palettes or aesthetics, than a sitcom or drama.  TREAT ME LIKE A BLACK CRACK BABY IN THE HANDS OF MADONNA OR SANDRA BULLOCK!!! SAVE ISAIAH, BITCHES! SAVE HIM!!! Dont make me call Kelsey Grammar! I’ll do it… you know I will. Speaking of white people, where does Kelly live? Hell, where does Jason live? OH LAWD!!! They’re turning this reverse vitiligo having Brittany into ISAIAH!!! Okay… I’ve had enough… ready for the real thing.

Show starts in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…. #GameOn , Bitches!

*Side eye at the opening scene* Wow! I’m not liking that Melanie is so open about disliking church. Before you didn’t know what she was and Derwin was just so strong about being a Christian. They are making her look like such a hoodlum now. Not sitting well with me. Why is that a part of her character that they have to bring out?

Speaking of bring out….sooooo last we saw Janay she was upset with Derwin and planning to send him to court. So when did she change her mind and let Derwin spend every day over the house while he lies to his wife? Melanie would understand that in order for him to be with his son he has to spend time at Janay’s leisure. All I have to say about this…. REAL BLACK MEN, DONT TRY THIS SHIT AT HOME!!! I swear, you will come home and have to choose between Taraji in I Can Do Bad All By Myself in the bathroom with the radio or Regina in This Christmas with a bottle of baby oil & a belt. Translation, negro don’t do it.

Side Note: Both of those women DID the damn thang!!! You hear me?  I could watch both of those scenes on repeat and never get tired. *Standing O*…okay… back to the regularly scheduled Take 2

Someone watch my back while I sit in these bushes and aim a gun at Kelly Pitts for over acting!!!! And get the car started as I reload to take aim at Tasha Mack. This is too much. There were subtle ways that she could have retaliated at Dontae checking her purse strings….this is a pointless plot. Well, not unless Derwin drops her and she loses her money. And I would have popped her in her face for calling Janay’s attention in the restaurant knowing that I didn’t want to start anything.

Speaking,again, of punching someone in the face….. I OUGHTA KNOCK THE HELL OUT OF MELANIE!!! You don’t let the sideline hoe know that your man is lying to you. I would have mentioned the whole “Thank you for letting DJ go to Disney World with us” thing, but as soon as Janay mentioned she didn’t know anything about it…. I would have kept the rest to myself and handled my business when I got home. I mean, what of  link does Janay’s webcam have where you can view it on the world wide web? More females need to get that kind of access to their men…lmao! Oh lawd…. was Janay about to have a Lady in Blue moment? Damn, the negro apologized….lol.  But I understand….. and then again I don’t. No matter how many times Derwin came to your house, he is still married.

My Grade: B+. This one had more of the multi-plots that we are accustomed to. I could connect on some leve with Janay’s point of view…. however far-fetched to why Derwin had to lie about it. I need Melanie to be stable just a little bit… I don’t know who she is yet. The game has changed her too much. But I guess that is life….and maybe that is why I am fighting it so hard. I want Tasha to relax in herself more and not broadcast, and I want Kelly to get hit by a bus. But… the B+ is because I am enjoying it. It’s not quite Big Mama’s home cooking, but it is Auntie Junie mimicking her recipe and I can respect that…at least its all still in the family.

Next Episode: I cant remember… I am over here laughing in my own right. Is it just me, or does the woman sitting on the steps listening to Malik look JUST LIKE USHER’S BABIES’ MAMA?!!! I mean, it is a rehab clinic… no telling what being broke could have Tameka doing. lmao!!!! RUN MALIK!!! You saw how she sucked the life out of Usher!!! RUN!!!! Okay, these are just jokes. But I want to see why Melanie is going off on Kelly, and what happened to Tasha and Rick Fox that it has taken him 2 years to call her when in last season he was showing up to her house after the wedding. Hmmm… a must watch! I see you trying! Keep it up!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game: Derwin’s Got Sum ‘splaining to Do~Ep3

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 26 January 2011 at 12:02 am

Need a recap? Or need Russ Parr Morning Show to pay your cable bill? Okay, here ya go, Check out my blogs on the first two episodes here:

Episode 1:  Don’t Call it a Comeback <~Click Here

Episode 2:  The Game~ Episode 2 <~Click Here

So, I saw the previews for tonight’s episode last week and almost dislocated my knee to reach the remote to rewind. I must admit, I am in therapy for having watched it 20 times. Yes… I am a tad bit obsessive compulsive. DON”T JUDGE ME!!! I did it for you. Who else is gonna keep it real with your ass? But I digress. Okay. The marketing team did a great job of chopping up scenes that my God Gut ( that’s what Ma Dear use to call it) was telling me didn’t go together. So, with my Pandora station playing in my ear…. let me speculate on tonight’s episode.

So, First off…. why is this girl in their house? Who is this girl you wonder? Well… that is what I am for. After renewing my Black Woman Intuition and activating my Go-Go Gotcha Bitch, I have discovered…and this is just a speculation… that the mystery woman in the previews is none other than JAZZ! All of my The Game fans know exactly who Jazz is. I think her ghetto name is Jazzamena something WhoGivesAFuck, but she was the girl at the table with Javon (Bumper Robinson..I think that’s his name) during Melanie & Derwin’s engagement dinner at Malik’s house. Yeh…THAT BITCH! The one that everyone on the team has slept with. So, supposedly Javon proposed to her… soooooo what is she doing in Melanie and Derwin’s house? Yes… can’t you tell I’m ready to fight the trick off of GP? I know she is a character.. DIDNT I TELL YOU I WAS IN THERAPY?! So… This is why I entitled this blog Derwin’s Got Sum ‘splainng to Do.  I can’t wait!

Okay…side note: I left home this morning and forgot to set my DVR, so I drove home, set it, and went to a performance and will still try to make it back to watch it in real-time. BEcause if ‘AIN bitch on TWITTER spoils this for me…. I….wooo saaaahhh. I told you I was in therapy!

(Made it in the house with 5 mins to spare, stripped, changed in to comfy clothes & managed to get Chipotle on my way home. Your girl is BAAAAAD!)

The show will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, #GameOn , Bitches!

FINALLY!!!!! Malik and his mama speak!!! It took 3 episodes. That is some straight mess! So, it took him 2 years of this black hole for him and his mama to cut the umbilical cord? He doesn’t even listen to his mama the way that he use to. THAT’S NOT RIGHT!!! Why do I have a feeling that I’m going to yell a lot during this episode?

YES!!! I called it!! That is JAZZ!!! I’m a true The Game fan. Top that bitches!!!!! But really, why is she okay with her husband calling out the stats of anther flunkie? There is NOT that much self-esteem in the world. I know for a fact that God kept that kid of hubris for himself. For the slow folks…. google hubris! Ummm… who is this Rick Ross , Larry Hoover, Big Meech, MC Hammer looking motherfucker? His beard reminded me to schedule my bikini wax….damn! Please do NOT tell me that this look is coming in style. I’ll watch a marathon of Let’s Stay Together before I allow black men  to start doing this! Dont make me do it!

Hooooooooooooooooooooold the fuck up! Did Melanie take over as Sun Beam president. LMAO!!!

Ummm T-T…..Not dyslexic chimps! Okay…wait… T-T’s name is Terrance? It took us four years to find out what his name is. Okay… Malik and T-T just need to kiss and make up.  And this bug-eyed bitch that is Malik’s assistant is scaring me. MAKE HER BLINK!!!, LAWD , PLEASE MAKE HER BLINK!!!

P.S> I love the slight plug of the iPad Touch.  The Game must be PAID!!!!

Okay, that brains joke.. DEAD! Like Men on FIlm… “Hated It!” I see where you TRIED to go with that, but it was a no go. Maybe the pick up was too slow. Comedy has to come faster than a virgin in the grasp of Super Head. What? I know yall saw the video with Mr. Marcus…. I just heard about it. I mean really… isn’t this another scene that they are trying to catch us up on? I mean, hasn’t Jazz been a player’s wife for 2 years? WAIT! Did this bitch just call Derwin “baby”? LMAO!!! NOW THAT SCENE ON THE STEPPING STOOL WAS COMEDY!!!

Wait… is that a NUDE swim suit or is this Uncut? I’m is so confused-ed and wanting to go to the gym. Hell.. even I know that this bitch aint doing her job! LMAO!!! “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you only clapped your ass 3 times”

Oh lawd! I’m calling child protective services!! Just for Javon’s lil boy to even be in the same scene. Speaking of child protective services.  I SWEAR JAZZ LOOKS LIKE NICKI MINAJ! I was trying to put a finger on why I was itching! True shit… I have broken out into hives. I APPLAUD THE CASTING DIRECTOR! She was one pink weave track , a facial expression stolen from a seizure patient and a turrets induced vocal inflection away from being Barbie, Bitch. So….I agree with Melanie’s reason for being upset about Jazz trying to be a role model. And Tasha made a good point. Is the coochie the only way a woman can make it in Hollywood? WOW!!!!

Melanie shaking her butt. Ummm ( I love you Tia)…..but erah ummmm. HELL NAWL!

HELL NO! Rodney King, get the fuck back in the car Malik. Wait… that’s it?! Lawd…. can we still some time from Let’s Stay together and make it an hour show?

Ummm… where is the preview for next week’s episode? The marketing team is playing with my damn emotions! Oh wait… there it is. I cant remember what is supposed to happen next week.  Okay… it doesn’t matter. I will be watching. The only thing that I ask for next season… don’t wrap things up so swiftly. You are solving problems that was big enough to remain for 2 years in one episode.  I still have your back. Thanks for being back.

My over all grade of this episode: C+. Something that use to be there isnt there any more and I just cant put my finger on it.  It is slowly coming back…..and I mean slooooowly. I have faith that you will get it back. I just think that there is too much going on. The sets arent the same, the relationships arent the same…its just too much to swallow all at once. I know we are complaining, but you know how black folks do when it comes to new shit. We’ll never like it off the bat. But….. next season better be better. Now, touch the screen and agree!!!

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game: Don’t Call it a Comeback Pt2

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 12 January 2011 at 10:43 am

       

        “Game on, Bitches!” rang from my television like the opening to the Hood Olympics and all I could think was, “SHE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!” BET had answered my question, Tasha Mack would be allowed to keep her bitches and hoes! Yes, first fear averted! I had others, old ones, new ones, suspicions, and plain out disbelief. But at least The Game was back!

        The opening was like a whirl wind of musical characters as you tried to pin reality on the nearest scenario. If it weren’t for me seeing Russ Parr’s 35 & Ticking, I wouldn’t have known that was Meagan Good slapping the shit out of Malik in the opening. I love that haircut on her by the way, but I’ll come back to her. It was so much to take in, it was as if I didn’t know where to start. It was almost as if I were watching Why Did I Get Married Too where I think they crammed too much into the intro to get us all to play catch up after two years. I was being force-fed these people who I knew and sat there looking at them as if they were strangers. I get it, it is my fault for believing that the show would pick up from the last episode that I watched the last weekend in the marathon. And yes, the actors haven’t been around one another in these roles in two years. And yes, the cinematic quality wasnt the same and threw me off too. And FUCK yeh, the change in scenery and set design was like I’d been kidnapped and placed in a new foster home. So okay, I get it. They were setting up the season….but what a way to do it.

        Melanie Barnett-Davis: The hair grew back in and the clothes were a little more flashy than we’ve become accustomed to for her. I get it, she is more mature, the wife of a star athlete, and in high demand. Yet, there was a girl next door quality that use to ring from Melanie that I think left in this first episode.  The old Med School came from money but she wasnt money and I feel like, in just two years, she has gotten so caught up in this world of fame that we can hardly recognize her.  Also, I understand that you want to make your marriage work, but boo…..WHY THE HELL DID YOU GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL JUST TO WIND UP NOT PRACTICING MEDICINE!!! My inner Dione?Tasha mix wanted to jump off of my Ikea bed and smack the living Mrs. Davis out of her. It was all so reminiscent of Ludacris’ girlfriend. There is ALWAYS a way to make things work without having to sacrifice a huge part of who you are. DERWIN messed up. DERWIN didnt sacrifice his life, why the FUNKY MONKEY should Melanie have to give up her dream to, yet again, accommodate to a man who wants it to be all about him?! Yes, I am furious about this change. He messed up, so if her wanted her back… he should have taken her back just the way that she was. I’ll never get over this part. Also, the whole DNA mouth swab segment, that freaked me out in so many ways. Remind me to NEVER leave my kid alone (if I ever have any) with my baby’s daddy’s wife. WHO DOES THAT?! Creepy!!! And it took her two years to have the opportunity to do it?  WOW! Speaking of WOW! Please tell BET’s wardrobe department to NEVER put an all white outfit on ANYONE…because I could see all Melanie’s goodies! I can’t wait to see how this unfolds. If I were Mel, I would tell him to get tested again and get a second opinion because those things can be wrong…something to cover up the fact that the news was inaccurate. ARGH!!! Okay, the show has already sucked me in.

        Derwin Davis: I really didn’t see that much of him, but it did creep me out that he was talking to his kid about women the way that he was. CREEPY!!!  It was so melodramatic. I didn’t know how to take it. Where is the light-hearted Derwin. I know the situation called for drama.. but I wasnt fully buying it. Also, Melanie told him it wasnt his before he left, so why would he need to come home and ask her again? I was so lost by that. Also, what did Melanie take of Derwin’s to match with DJ’s DNA? They didn’t show that and I wasnt willing to hand over that much suspense of disbelief. I’m still pissed that Mel gave up her career so…NEXT

        Tasha Mack: WTF!!! What in the hell happened to Rick Fox. Weren’t they all in love in the last episode? Okay, his contract may not have been renewed…but REALLY!!!! Terrance J? I need to be warned when that much bird chest is going to be thrown in my direction. Have you ever heard of the bird flu?!!!! I will never be able to watch 106 & Park ever again. I mean, his acting was good…but it was still Terrance J trying to be someone else. They didn’t ooze him in good enough. We saw all of Tasha’s other relationships develop and I feel that they forced this one on us.  And when the fuck did Tasha start smoking? She was holding that Black and Mild all weird. it just didn’t seem right. Also, since WHEN has Tasha been afraid of anyone? Especially Kelly?!!!! I don’t care if she hit you in front of your mama…the old Tasha Mack would have gone after her harder and swifter. Tasha Mack isn’t afraid of anything but love…so I’m NOT buying it. I also…and maybe I cant remember it, I didn’t see Tasha interact with Malik once in the entire show. So how is that relationship fairing out? I’m so confused. Also, I know damn well Tasha Mack wasnt intimidated by Heree. Yes, He-Ree and her acting debut. TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO ATLANTA AND STAY OFF MY SHOW!

        Malik El DeBarge Wright: Ummmm… I think he lost some of his human side. He’s always been an ass, but not this much and not on purpose.  His whole situation with Meagan & Allison… Malik would do stuff like this with random chicks, but NOT with anyone he knew. I dont know if I like this change. I wanted to punch him for what he did to TT. Meagan, she did the damn thang! I applaud her addition to the show. Not the best woman for Malik, but the best woman to play this role. I support her. Now if I could just remember her character’s name…..

        Kelly Pitts: WTF!? She was bugging me the entire time. It was so over the top and false. And I get what she was trying to portray but it came across as Acting 101 scene workshopping. I get it… new personality with being single, but where is the core of who Kelly is? I think she bypassed independence and went to the other end of the spectrum with dependency. I’m giving her four episodes to get her acting together before I dismiss her. COme on Brittany…. bring it back to the core of how well I KNOW you can do. And trust me, we’ve seen better.

        Jason Pitts: I think they crammed 3 seasons of his arrogance into one episode and it was a tough pill to swallow. it wasnt subtle. It didn’t sneak up on you. The one thing I did like was when he took over the show. THAT was a traditional Jason Pitts move. THAT was believable and I was with it. He can stay.

        Brittany Pitts: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL?! I’m all for dark-skinned people being employed, but where is my original Brit Brat? This child is darker than both of them. I guess Tasha’s skin darkening theory is correct, b/c if a mixed baby can darken after 2 years into puberty then DJ has some years to go to get darker…lol. BRING THE OLD BRITTANY BACK! I don’t care how you do it. Just bring her back.

          There were a ton of things that I didn’t know how I felt about, some good and some bad. Like, I don’t know yet how I feel about TT actually having an opinion. Him standing up to Malik came out of left field like a roaming eye. What went down between them BEFORE Allison that made him no longer want to be his assistant? Also, where the Sabers bought again or was this the same owner from the last season and we just never saw him? Did Tasha reopen Tasha Mack Management or is she with another agency? ARGH!!!! My brain hurts!

         Okay, my overall grade for the comeback….. B. Now, part of that grade is because I have never witnessed a show returning after being canceled so I have no clue what to expect and I may have expected the EXACT same show to return and it didn’t. If they had don’t a collage of them packing up one house and moving into another that would have prepared me for the set change. If they had spent more time in this episode catching us up rather than throwing us into their current lives it wouldn’t have been such a jolt. And if it didn’t feel like such a soap opera I would have given it a higher grade. I felt like they put everyone’s problems into one episode. Out of 7 people, they should have picked 2 to showcase this episode and 3 the next and we could have built from there. But since I dont live in a world of “IFs” I had to grade it on what it gave me and that was a B. I have faith that it will get better. We just have to get re-associated with the cast as they get back into the chemistry and dynamic that they built the first three seasons. Because these characters were so left field. But….I have faith ( I’m going to keep repeating this). I have faith. I’m glad its back and this first episode was just a bump in the road. The rest of the episodes will be what we’re use to. We’re all treading into new territory……let’s continue to support.

P.S. Want to leave a comment but don’t want to use your own email address? Use 2deepuncensored@gmail.com .

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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