A man’s arch nemesis has been and will ALWAYS be a woman’s intuition. I think it was apart of the deal when he snatched Adam’s rib. His rib contained 10% of Adam’s DNA which was a divine tracking device and lie detector. It lets the woman know when something isn’t right even when she can’t quite put a finger on it. I can’t describe it, but it is the oddest feeling in the entire world. She could just be sitting there when all of a sudden something tells her to call her man…..while on the other side of town he is getting his freak on with her best friend. Yes, it is like a face off between Batman and the Riddler. It is just this feeling…..
And as I thought about this topic… one of my favorite songs came to mind. Keri Hilson’s “Intuition”. Yes, this song just screams “I am woman, hear me roar. I know you did wrong, negro don’t play me. Now pack your shit and bounce.” hahahaha I don’t know if that was her intention when she wrote it, but that became my subtext when I heard it. I think it is all even, right? I mean… I know for a fact that EVERY woman pleading Intuition isn’t on the right path, but for the other 99.999999% of us who listen to our intuition for the right reasons, we are hardly ever wrong. A wise woman once told me that our intuition is God snitching on the universe. What an image, right…. but it works. So I go with my gut feelings majority of the time and I am right.
Now this song has a taste of both Indian and Asian instrumentation to it, and I think that would be a great place to start with my interpretation of the video.
I think that the video should start with Keri asleep in bed. As her man grabs the keys off the dresser and you see the door closing behind him.
“Intuition”
Whoa [3x]
Hey hey…
Keri pops up in bed and begins to look around. She leans over and looks out the window as she sees him backing out of the driveway.
[Chorus] I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, I can feel it I know you gone mess up
Keri gets out of bed and walks to throw on an Asian designer trench coat with a fidora, glances in the mirror by the front door, grabs her keys and hops in her car.
Wow, you really turn me on So I, I really hope I’m wrong [whoa] It would break my world If you ain’t true to me, yea But I’m not the silly girl I used to be And I Know how it goes yea
She comes to a light and sees his car outside of a massage parlor. Shot switches to her walking through the parlor looking for her guy. She catches him getting a massage in one of the rooms and she rubs her hands down his back. He pops up to look around but Keri is gone and in her car back home
[Pre-Chorus] Dude’s out here think they slick Got a lot of girls on they (dadadadada) And they can’t say no Steady telling me they ain’t you I’ma wait to see what you gone do Hope you know you got a good thing, yea
[Chorus] I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, I can feel it I know you gone mess up
I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, Its gone happen I know you gone mess up
Fast forward technique to push the story ahead a few hours. Scene stops at Keri fighting with a guy while she is wearing a kimono. The fight is brief and he walks out of the house. With Keri walking along the window of the house. Shot cuts to Keri walking along the glass window of an Asian restaurant with her “guy” sitting at a dinner table obviously waiting for someone for dinner. She is on her Inspector Black Chick trying to get a better view of him. The entire restaurant is filled with guys sitting at tables by themselves with an all female staff.
I, I love the way we fight so So, I hope this is all in my mind (hope it’s in my mind) Baby don’t you know It would break my world, if you ain’t true to me yea But I’m not the silly girl I used to be See I know how it goes
The servers in the restaurant and random staff members throughout the dining area join in for choreography. Some women are private detectives with cameras and notepads. The servers are performing choreography around the guy’s table that they are servicing, every guy but Keri’s. The servers collect glasses, and utensils CSI style and places them in an evidence bag, placed back on the serving tray and exit the dining area.
[Pre-Chorus] Dude’s out here think they slick Got a lot of girls on they (dadadadada) But they don’t say no Steady telling me they ain’t you I’ma wait to see what u gone do Hope you know you got a good thing cause I,
[Chorus] I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, I can feel it I know you gone mess up
I got this crazy feeling I’m gone be single again I know it, Its gone happen I know you gone mess up
Then you see everything go pitch black, when a spotlight pops up over one guy like an interrogation lamp. Keri walks up to the two-way window and her silhouette is seen dancing directly in front of her guy. Snippets of individual female detectives come into the light surrounding him.
Your gonna get too comfortable (you gone mess up) Gonna want something new babe (you gone mess up) Your gonna be just like the rest (you gone mess up) It’s gonna be you babe before me
They release him and he is free to leave. Keri is seen in a designer trench coat walking behind him out of the police station. He gets to his car and pulls off before her. She runs to her car and speeds off.
I trust my heart, broke down my guard I worked so hard to take good care of you
I trust my heart, broke down my guard I worked so hard, I hope it ain’t true
Keri begins to say this next part into her rear view mirror. She pulls up next to him, glances over, and then runs through a red light and he stops. She makes it home before him.
Look at me You wanna miss all this? Go ‘head Bring that back Whoa [3x]
As he reaches for the front door, Keri opens it in her Kimono and takes his hand to lead him upstairs.
It’s in my mind Whoa [3x] Hope its in my mind
There is a pan in shot of a photo in her bag of him sitting at the table in the restaurant by himself and then a figure of a woman fades into view in the chair across from him. She has on a fidora to cover her face and the video ends.
Yeh…I know. Wild and all over the place. But this has that Carmen San Diego feel about it. A woman detective going on a hunch. That inner voice telling her that something isn’t right. And though she may not have the proof… it’s there. So, that was my take on it…. did you like it?
Check back tomorrow when I ask my 200 Men about the 2 things they wish that women would stop doing. How does that tie into intuition? Well, we already know as women what we want guys to stop or start doing…so why not hear from them. Maybe these are the things that make them misbehave which in turn peaks our intuition. [Will insert Link here]
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So, by now you should have read my other post “200 Men Said….Value of a Black Woman” (<~Click Here to Read It). Well this is part 2. I thought that I would take the question and concern of that blog and take it a step further.
The same diva who gave me the idea for that blog brought up the concern of white guys showing her love when she was out and about. She said that white guys see her and give her love but they are hesitant to speak up and come and get her. She felt that it was confusing, their actions….and she wanted to know why. I told her that men are doers. If they want you, they will come get you, and if they dont…then they won’t. So it has nothing to do with race, it has to do with him wanting you for that moment versus taking you home. But I wanted to see what guys thought about that, white guys to be specific. So I flipped the question from the last post and asked my white guys.
About 20 of my White guys from 200 Men Said…. were asked:
Many black women don’t feel as if black men value them. As a non-black man, do you think that black men value their women? Have you/Would you date a black woman over your own race? Send me a note/message for longer answers.
They all came back with great responses but I thought that I would post a few specific conversations that gave me the most information. I think you will love it!! My first conversation came from Code name Big Sexy, and this is how it went:
Code Name Bigsexy: i only date black women and as far as black men you can never say a group of people do or don’t do anything
Me: If you don’t mind me asking, why do you ( as a non-black) solely date black women? When did you first date a black woman? I’m trying to help a friend of mine understand, so your input would be very helpful! Thanks.
Code Name Bigsexy: i just am attracted to black women.i grew up in [an] apt complex where every 1 was black so i guess when in rome.i have been with black women all my life in fact i have never been with a white woman
Me: WOW!!! NEVER!!!? So, if the opportunity were to arise, would you date a white woman? Are you attracted about ANYTHING on a white woman? And I know this sounds cliché, but do you see color? What specifically about black women do you like. The more detailed the better?
Code Name Bigsexy: i might but she would have [to be] so bad!!i love dark hair and tan to dark skin so to find a white woman with dark hair and tan skin that’s very hard.black women i just like everything from sharp outlined lips to the shine of the dark hair.to the bow outward thighs and the way gold shines against their skin.really it is endless for me i could tell you things i like forever.lol and i love a woman with their hair done up real sharp
Me: Awwww sooky sooky now!!!! Okay.So, when you are out and about and you see a black woman who you like…. how do you approach her?
Code Name Bigsexy: well im smug so a go slam at her.if shes got nice shoes i go there, if shes got a nice body i might start with omg you are bad.then just go from there
Me: Okay, so if you like the way a lady looks, but you’re not feeling her… do you speak or try to get her number? I know that is plain common sense, but humor me. I ask because, a friend of mine told me that the white guys give her love but that they need to stop being scared and make a move. I told her that men DO. And if he doesn’t, then he wasnt feeling you…and that has NOTHINg to do with race. Was I wrong to tell her that?
Code Name Bigsexy: nope if im not feeling you im gone, sexy or not.you’re right, i guess, but some men (not me) but some fear a woman and what she might say.
I have to keep the rest of this conversation to myself because he didn’t want to be held responsible for giving away the man code! lmao! But I think that this was more than enough info to help women see how one white man feels about black women and how he chooses to value them. I simply love my conversations with Code Name Bigsexy. He has some great insight.
The next person who branched off into a conversation with me was Danny P. Danny P is a newbie to my 200 Men, but I enjoy his insight as well. Our conversation went something like this:
Danny P: short answer: [I] thought of the examples I’ve seen first hand, [&] made columns of has shown vs has not shown. more [were in the column of ] has not shown. i find almost the same results when listing others i know. i’d date any race
Me: Can you please expound? What kind of examples?
Danny P: i just literally made two columns… one was [they] did value, the other [they] did not value. more examples were [in the] did not value [column]. [The women being] cheated on was the biggest example of [how they]did not value. another would be [them being] straight up disrespectful etc.
Me: So, what forms of disrespect have you witnessed? I am learning as you speak…so thanks for being open
Danny P: lol feel like i’m being put on the spot am i being asked cuz i’m white, and you’re trying to see if i pre judge black people? i mean i am simply going by life experiences, which in the end is all we can go by in any real honesty. and, to be honest, i have had times in my life where i was disrespectful as well… so no room to judge others. i’ve had times where, as a boy, i tried to be a man… and failed. miserably. do i think black men are singled out as the only race who disrespect women, hell no. i also think any person, at any time is capable of disrespect and disappointing behavior. that being said, yes, the examples i’ve been witness too haven’t been that great all the time. one of the people in my life i consider a brother, though a good man, couldn’t stop cheating on the women he’s been with. cuz he’s black? no, probably cuz of issues with women in the past that never got dealt with. could be fear of death, could be a million reasons. hes’ aware of his issues and i believe he’s probably working on them. hell next we could talk about the times i’ve been robbed or attempted robbed in my life. i’ve never been robbed by anyone other than a black man. now does that mean i think only black men rob people.. Nope. a person is gonna find people let them down. human condition, expectations vs. reality. people can never live up to what we expect. when we love each other we try. lol i feel a book coming on, but still should get back to the book i’m actually hoping to work on and finish for once so i’ll cut it here. i do appreciate the deep questions, and i appreciate that you’re an intelligent woman. have a great day 🙂
I understood everything that Danny was saying. As an outsider, he could only go by what he saw. And yes, I was asking him because he was white, but I think that it was an outsider’s eye that I needed. I would never ask him to see if he pre-judged people, but because I needed another person’s opinion. But he made sense when he made me see that ANY man can be disrespectful, can cheat, can rob, can not value their woman. it was NOT about race. I guess I knew that all a long but for journalistic purposes I thought that I would ask the question any way. It was about valuing what you have regardless of color/race. I got that. I appreciated his honesty. It was so sexy…lol.
On the flip side…. it did bring up the idea that “outsiders” could see what we insiders see too. What did that say? Was it something that should be changed? it made me fear that we would go into hiding with our problems when i fact we needed to expose them and fix them. So, is every race willing to help value each other, or would we continue to complain about this issue? I guess it was best put by this statement by another one of my White 200 Men:
Patrick: Assholes come in all different colors…
So…. I had our black men comment and I had our white guys comment…. well, what about our in betweens? Well, our mixed guys had a comment on the issue as well. Vince V helped represent for the mixed men and our conversation went like this:
Vince V: Its funny that you asked me this question. I believe that the black woman is one of GOD’s greatest creations. She is strong, beautiful, and talented enough to succeed at whatever endeavor she sets her mind to. As far as dating outside my race, i am mixed with blk and white so technically I never have. What i can tell you is that i have only dated two white females in my life time, and through those experiences i realized that being with a black woman is what i need in my life to succeed and to be happy.
Me: Wow! So, what about those experience, if you dont mid me asking…. made you feel as if a black woman was what you needed? And which of your parents is black?
Vince V: During one of those relationships I was young and was looking see what the world had to offer me. She was just about games and doin her. The second one is a really long story; but in short she brought me down to a very low place in my life. And I then met a real friend who happened to be a black female; who helped lift me up and out of the dilemma that I was in. After that I vowed that I would never mess with another white girl again. I realized from that friend that I only had room in my life for someone who was strong as well as beautiful. And with that being said I have just not been attracted to any race of women other than black . Dont get me wrong im not saying that women of other races arent beautiful too, but im just not attracted to them. My father is the one that is black.
Me: So, …and I am just asking… do you feel that your not dating white is in any way cutting out your mother’s side of yourself?
Vince V: My mother would want me to be with whomever made me happy. Her family is estranged from her because she chose to love who she loved.
So, how is it that a white woman fell in love with a black man and raised a mixed son that loves black women. I doubt that his mother would care who he fell in love with….. so why is it so hard for black women to allow their brothers, fathers, uncles, and sons to love whoever makes them happy? I think this is an insecurity issue on the part of many black women. I have no clue as to where to find the answer to fix this problem but I think it has to deal with self-love. Love yourself first. If you do that , you will not be concerned with who is loving whom because you will be content. When there is true, pure, and content love there is seldom room for hate or opposition. I think this is an issue because we will not let it die. Love….. we must love to get love, and that means that we must allow love to exist in all forms. To suppress one form of love is an indirect way of putting a noose on love everywhere. So, in closing…. I love you…and whomever you choose to love. I pray that they love you back unconditionally.
There's no hope for me if THIS is considered too fat!
AN UNCENSORED WARNING:If you are about to read this..please leave a comment below so I know what you think so I can know what writing works and what doesnt. It simply irks the $#!+ out of me for me to write all this, people read and not respond. Actually, its rude as hell. Now….enjoy.
My night ended and my day began with the discussion of being the plus size friend. Something that is a bit of a taboo conversation, and depending on what region of the world you’re in,it also has a different source of relevancy. Well, being plus size in the Nation’s capital is like being the lone colored person at the taping of Birth of a Nation; you may have the privilege of being there, but trust me when I tell you that you are nothing more than a prop or hired help. Even yesterday my friends and I had conversations of whether or not I was this guy’s “type”. I explained to them that seldom am I ever anyone’s type. One goes on to tell me that I have to stop thinking that way because it could read on me. I swiftly told her that I never think poorly of myself and that I am the business every time I step my foot on this green earth, but common sense can tell you when a person just isn’t that into you; you recognize that and you keep it moving. Only desperate people stay around when they’re not wanted. Thankfully, I am not that type of woman because knowing when you are not wanted can save you the blunt force of rejection that gets thrusted in your face or stabbed in your back by either a casual flirt or a love interests who subtly or boldly lets you know that its your weight that makes you unattractive.
Despite any amount of confidence one may have leaving the house, not even your understanding of placing the whole armor of God on could shield you from the source of hate and disgust that could be issued in your direction upon stepping foot off of your personal property. The amount of separation that the world places on plus size people would never equate to the battle of homosexuals or the holocaust, but it does resemble that of the Civil Rights era. Actually, it could be just a tad bit worse because the bigots dont out right express their hatred for you. Brand name stores like LVLX, RAVE, and Vera Wang are encrypted signs that say No Fats allowed, Fit Persons Only. You should check the seat of the sales person’s size 2 panties as she is about to drop a load on herself when a plus size woman enters one of these stores. She tries to both monitor the items that the plus size person has in their arm and remember the politically correct phrasing for reminding the plus size person that their big ass has no home within the walls of this anti-obese clothing facility. Inside, the plus size person wants to scream, “Trick, can I please shop your jewelry in peace?” or “May I please purchase this size zero for a family member or friend without you preparing a eulogy for the zipper without my having even asked for the location of the dressing rooms?” No matter where we go, we are just assumed to be one way rather than being taken on an individual basis.
I carry the struggle of weight just like the next plus size person, but I am my own person. I can get up and run a mile without complaining….but who does that for fun? lol. I can teach dance classes for hours without even noticing that this is in fact considered exercise, or walk the mall for hours carrying bags and never once request to sit down from body aches. I am NOT by any stretch of the imagination the most athletic person you will ever meet, but I am also not the laziest. If you were to follow me on any given day you would imagine how a person could move around so much and be my size, just to come to the conclusion of confusion when I tell you that I am both safe and harmed behind the walls of my fat rolls. Here I know that not many people will look my way when standing beside my rather modelesque or regular/average sized friends, but I am also safe from the people who would still overlook my mind and what I have to offer just because they are attracted to my outer presence. So, I don’t know the next person’s battle, but mine is to never be seen as just another ass for another deceptive guy to place on his conquer list. My fat has become my defense mechanism….but here I sit watching the world that I was once a part of wanting to belong to it once more …..just without the risks.
So, to all the plus size girls out there….I know what it feels like to fall in love with a guy and to be hidden and confined to after dark visits, never introduced to friends or family and treated differently than when you first met. I know what it feels like for people to swiftly push-off your concerns about how the world treats you by telling you that “if its your weight that you feel is the problem, then why not just lose the weight.” I know what it feels like to walk into a club with other plus size friends and hear a guy yell “Damn, there must be a buffet in the back with all of these big bitches coming up in here” or the guy sporting a shirt with the silhouette of a grotesque replica of a plus size girl surrounded by burgers and fries and other carb induced items adorned with the Ghostbusters “No” sign that reads “I don’t do Big Bitches”. Or to be walking with your friends, dressed in your best from head to toe, feeling confident in your decision as you have not fallen into the BGID [Big Girls in Denial] syndrome,you’re properly & proportionately covered and looking dazzling…just to have a guy walk up to you and say “If that’s your best, I don’t want to see your worse” . He then gives his cronies dap and other male bonding gestures that now makes him a man for trying to defeat an innocent woman just because she wasnt aesthetically pleasing to him. Also,I know what it feels like to be out dancing with your friends as a guy walks over to dance with one of the thinner divas, takes her purse and shoes that she was holding in her hand and hands them to you after saying “Here, you can hold this since no one is going to dance with you anyway.” Or to go to a Howard University homecoming and have a guy videotape and joke on another plus size friend that you came with as you jump in the line of the camera’s shot to block and protect your innocent friend from becoming the target of an internet joke fest…just to have her turn on you and say that you don’t understand because you’re smaller than her and not really plus size. What about reading a tweet that says “….. if you let yourself go, dont expect me to hold on.”? And I also know what it feels like to playfully flirt with a friend and watch him turn to every OTHER friend you’re with while your back is turned and attempt to flirt with them, or to sit in the backseat of a car and have that same guy think that you are either stupid enough or blind enough for the dark of night to mask his holding hands with a friend that you just introduced him to as she sits quietly in the front seat with his hand rested on her knee/thigh. I know what it feels like to sit back after all of this has happened and wonder if being thinner would make you visible again or wonder what could be so wrong with you that people don’t properly take your emotions into consideration.
What I have found after all of this soul-searching is that….. it is not me. Also, it is not my friends’ fault for being who they are. Yet, after all of that you try to compartmentalize the pain that comes with being you…with being a citizen in the land of More of You To Love…just to conclude that there is nothing you can do. I love myself just the way I am and it is wrong of me to let other’s actions in the presence of who I am make me feel as if I am inadequate, or that I am any less of the beautifully God crafted woman who I was intended to be. I deserve respect, I deserve love, and although all of that evades me now…..one day it will come when it is supposed to and I don’t think that me being a smaller size should have anything to do with that match made in heaven occurring for me. In the meantime, I just have to laugh at the many people who overlook the joy that is within me, the intelligence that i house, and the romantic gestures that I wish to one day share with my husband….in a way my size is allowing shallow people to pass me by and in the present mind frame I’m okay with that. My message to the bigots is that I will not try to change you, if you promise not to try to change me. So, with that…I will continue to analyze why these negative comments and actions issued in my direction as if I am not human, not attractive, not capable of understanding that I am being dissed…hurt as much as they do. Why do these comments keep me from socializing on a personal level, reaching outside of my comfort zone and grabbing life by the balls and saying , “Fuck You! Now pass me the plate”. I guess it’s too much to try to process all at once, to dissect and understand so I compartmentalize, and when asked why I am so upset I respond with….I’m just too fat for words.
One day, the world will come to learn that being plus sized is genetics, a taught/learned behavior, a medical disease [a disorder or thyroid], and a process that one jokes on only makes the matter worse. This just happens to be a personal battle that we wear on our sleeves, stomachs, and thighs so many feel they can attack it, ignore it, disrespect it, and judge it. I’d love to see the day when alcoholics, liars, sex addicts, adulteress, and thieves [etc.] could wear their habits on their sleeves, able to be viewed by the rest of the world. Until then, I am a brave soul to know that I hold my head up ever day I walk into the world, fat and all, as the world can see my habits and continue to not make an excuse for who I am. I tell the rest of the world that if you are so above me….why do you hide your habits? Why do you throw up behind closed doors, hold hands in the dark, drink while others aren’t looking or sex with someone you just met in hopes that they will say I love you back and mean it? Yes, I’m fat….thanks for noticing. Now…what else can you see?
A man’s arch nemesis has been and will ALWAYS be a woman’s intuition. I think it was apart of the deal when he snatched Adam’s rib. His rib contained 10% of Adam’s DNA which was a divine tracking device and lie detector. It lets the woman know when something isn’t right even when she can’t quite put a finger on it. I can’t describe it, but it is the oddest feeling in the entire world. She could just be sitting there when all of a sudden something tells her to call her man…..while on the other side of town he is getting his freak on with her best friend. Yes, it is like a face off between Batman and the Riddler. It is just this feeling…..
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 