~*2Deep*~

Advice from the Other Woman

In Cupid & Other Myths, XX Edition: About the Girls on 28 September 2010 at 12:03 am

WARNING: SUPER LONG BLOG, BUT HONEST & INSIGHTFUL!!!!

       Ignorance is bliss. It is also the gateway for you to get Punk’d. For Ashton, prior to allegations of his cheating on Demi, and his entire camera crew to walk right into your relationship and rob you of any stability that you once thought you had. Except for this time, Ashton is dressed in 4 inch heels, rocking a Prada dress so short she could catch pneumonia in her good-goods, while sexting the person you said “I love you” to 5 minutes ago or “I do” to 24 hours ago…and her name is Ashley, or Kendra, or Stephony, Latrell, Keisha, Tanisha, Tabitha, a low-life hoe named Angel, Bootasia…..etc. You catch my drift. For this blog, the aforementioned home wreckers shall be called OWs (Other Women). All OWs are assumed innocent until proven hoochies.

        The odds of your man cheating on you are about as high of a possibility as him enjoying  himself as he “exfoiliates” his genital region in the shower each morning.  With such a high possibility, the probability of this happening lowers by the set of morals that your man has, how many fugly women are in your community, and how ugly your man is to the beautiful women in the community. The stakes are raised,however, by the number of desperate women there are, your man’s income (despite how unattractive he is), and any rumors that may be in circulation about his sexual accomplishments. Since the latter scenario is higher than the prior…toss in a bitter black woman &, honey….. your man might cheat.

        But what is cheating to you? To the insecure broad, cheating could be him turning his head in the direction of a beautiful woman as she sashays by her man in the mall. To the “I don’t need a man, but be happy that I chose you” woman, cheating may be him assisting a woman with her grocery bags to the car…I mean after all, his hands were free since his woman chose to do it all herself. To the average woman, cheating could be him sharing himself emotionally with another female, showing a side of himself that he has never shown to her. But to every woman….cheating also means any form of sexual contact or interaction with a woman other than the one who claims you ( on or off the record). Wow…. each scenario is like Melanie’s & Derwin’s entire relationship on The Game.

Note to the fellas: If we slept together…. we go together!

My advice to all of the above are as follows:

    1. Dear Insecure Broad, what the hell is wrong with you? She is beautiful, yes. But the turning of your man’s head does NOT, I repeat to the self-esteem challenged, does NOT equate to infidelity. It lets you know that all of your man’s man parts are working. And if you thought she was cute, and he thought she was cute too, then damn… y’all agree on something. Which means, if you think that you are cute + she was cute + he thought she was cute then that may = him thinking that you are cute too. Instead of jumping on the dude and starting to count his condoms ( please tell me you use condoms!!!) take this as an opportunity to eavesdrop on what it is that catches your man’s attention. But do NOT take this as an opportunity to alter your physical or personal style to match, just take inventory, and store it for that special moment; almost like a treat. Of course, there is an exception, if your guy turns his head and forgets to turn it back in your direction… then you have reason to think that he is disrespectful, but until then… chill like Jada does when Will checks out beautiful women. She’s not trippin…because he isn’t going ANYWHERE!
    2. Dear Next Millenium Bionic Woman, why are you even with a man if there is nothing that he can do for you? There is a thin line in being independent and competent and being borderline butch. Unless your name is Craig and his is Earl, there is only ONE penis in this relationship…allow his to hang, have some breathing room to sway, and do what it is that he was designed to do.  Yes, men should love strong women…I get that, but if you are too strong they may be tempted to check for an Adam’s apple or flee. Just chill….you and I both know that women can do any and everything that we want to do, the catch is to not let HIM know that, or remind him all the damn time. This will definitely turn a seemingly innocent act of chivalry ( assisting with groceries) into a weekly rendezvous in the produce aisle. Your man assisting another woman should get you hot… not hot-headed but…turned on, just because you know that every woman wants a man like yours. Dont be so strong that you assist in giving him a hand in jumping over the fence to greener pastures, nor get so laid-back that you turn in to chick from #1. Think…. Charlize Theron in Hancock!
    3. Dear Average Woman, Men are not emotional creatures…….to us. They cry in the dark and throw their feelings into the very same closets that R Kelly hides his midget porn. Get over it. They still have feelings, and just be thankful that he has found a healthy person to share his emotions with. Trust me, I know that it hurts like hell because you want to be there to share everything with him… but as long as she only gives him a shoulder to lean on to express himself, then baby..yeh I’ll say it again….get over it. It doesn’t mean that he is cheating, it just means that you have YET to learn this side of him. There are things you tell your girlfriends that you don’t tell him…. TRUST ME. I know for a fact that you didn’t tell your man your thoughts about the size of the strippers’ worthy of mentioning unmentionables from Asia’s bachelorette party. So, as long as he is still communicating with you, just let that be his safe haven until he is on his death-bed and reveals that he absolutely hates your cooking but loves you for the attempt. You mustn’t also forget the billions of times he tried to tell you the truth, you didn’t listen and swore he was lying anyway…. that, too, may be the reason he doesn’t tell you -ish.Just saying…. don’t shoot the OW, learn how to listen.
    4. Girl…. WHat?! That N!&&@ did what?!!!! Cheated with an OW?!*sharpens Cutco, puts on Vaseline, *Hair in pony tail. Puts on CSI crime scene, able to catch my DNA, approved vest and grabs Lorraina Bobbet Emergency Kit. Next.

       I know for a fact that there are several more scenarios, but I havent gotten to that portion of my therapy sessions yet, so these will have to do.  And I know you are wondering how do I know these things… well… I was once …well… the enemy. Yes, I was once an OW. Much to my defense, not that I need any because I know how to fight… & WELL…. ask about me. Dang, where was I? Oh, yeh…. much to my defense, I didn’t even know that I was the OW ( The Fantasia Defense).  So I learned several tricks of the trade from being on the other side of the fence. If nothing more I learned:

UNLESS THE OW IS A FAMILY MEMBER< BEST FRIEND<THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED BY MARRIAGE ON YOUR PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER’S SIDE……. DONT YOU EVER TAKE YOUR DRAMA TO THE DOORSTEP OF THE OW!!!!!!

       Unless she comes to your doorstep bringing the pain…. you keep within restraining order distance away from her. There are several reasons:

1. You are NOT sleeping with the OW. She didn’t break your heart, break any vows, or directly give you an STD. She may not have even known you existed.

2. Fussing with the OW gets your man off the hook. He learns NOTHING. Actually, he is banking on telling you that she has lost her mind and is just a groupie, and that he told her several times to stop calling him. STOP… wait a minute… how did she even get his number? And “I DONT KNOW” does not suffice as an answer. (Exception to the rule: There are some crazy females out there.. trust in your man , your relationship, and your inner female intuition to see if this number actually applies to you.  If by chance she is crazy, collect $200 for bail money, go past GO & I give you permission to whoop that trick!)

3. Fighting with her makes you come up out the pocket and let both her and him know that you are now hurt. This is war woman, you don’t let the enemy know you are coming. SHUT UP AND PLAY THE WAY BIG MAMA TAUGHT YOU HOW TO PLAY; tight thighs , and even tighter lips with clenched fists.

4. You need to be a big girl and face what is really going on. Beating up some random chick Jerry Springer style will only make you feel better momentarily.

       All of this to say…. you have to think like us. And as a smart OW…I held on to evidence from 2004! Real talk, I have Yahoo! Messenger conversations still on floppy disk….lmbo!!!! There’s nothing like a swift Facebook note containing evidence of something he once said in a playerlistic manner to ruin his whole damn day! lol. Sorry, that got funny as I had a flash back. Keep us close, meaning us OWs. It’s when you can’t see us that we are able to do the most damage. I can say this now as a looooooooong ago reformed OW. It is never my intent to be an OW, but should the situation arise… you respect me and I shall respect you. Hell… I’ll even help you torch the cheating son of biscuit eating bulldog. But it is when you disrespect me ( assuming that I’ve been respectful) that your cards will come crashing down faster than you can get the panties off of Montana Fishburne, My cousin, and Paris Hilton in a panty dropping contest. Believe me, my cousin is FAST, my money is on her!  Again, you ladies would NOT believe the things that your guy tells us, in efforts to make us think that he is single, the marriage isn’t working, you’ve changed, and the list goes on. For example (actual messages below from a guy not too long after he got married. The identity of the stupid has been changed to protect the innocent):

  • 4:16:29 PM Stupid Dude###336: i had just looked at your profile before i went to sleep (why is this guy who is married stalking my profile before he went to sleep?)
  • 4:24:13 PM Stupid Dude###336: i know I am married and I have a good woman by my side…
    4:24:55 PM Stupid Dude###336: but I had a great woman when I was with you and I miss my great woman
  • 4:27:25 PM Stupid Dude###336: i’m happy with what I have here but I always will wonder what if (then if you are happy…. why are you always trying to get me into romantic conversations? I’m not falling for it playa! My game is stronger than yours, besides… I’ve moved on & let you go a long time ago)
  • 4:29:06 PM Stupid Dude###336: i understand that you let go
    4:29:16 PM Stupid Dude###336: but dammit it’s not easy to let go
    4:29:27 PM Stupid Dude###336: i try and try but i can’t (well try a little harder buddy…b/c it ant happening here!)

       Yadda yadda yadda. We discuss how he has a history of not really being faithful. How he treats women, and I congratulate him on finally settling down & getting married. The conversation then goes:

  • 4:30:17 PM Me: but I applaud [her] for being that woman who finally got you to do it
    4:30:35 PM Stupid Dude###336: she didn’t get me to do it
    4:30:51 PM Me: no, meaning that she loved you to a point where you felt the need to do it
    4:31:13 PM Stupid Dude###336: lol…you don’t understand
  • 4:31:33 PM Stupid Dude###336: i felt that I would never get you back… and I…..SETTLED

       Yes, you read correctly. The negro said he settled with his wife. But nothing beats my favorite! My friend told me that a guy once told her that the only reason he married his wife was because he “ran out of rope”! lmao!He was an older gentleman and didn’t want to waste two more years getting into another relationship and he didn’t want to be an old father, so he married his current girlfriend even though he didn’t love her. But I digress. I continue to go on to say how foul he is, this isn’t right, she doesn’t deserve this, the nerve of this nigga [pardon my Ebonics]!!!!! etc.  I mean, did he really think that saying this about his NEW wife was going to make me drop all common sense and take him back? I mean really, if you would say this about your wife….what they hell do you say behind my back about me? But as I said, you would be amazed at what they tell us….continue….

  • 4:36:05 PM Stupid Dude###336: So in saying that ,I am glad I settled because it took for me to settle to realize what a good woman I have…
  • 4:37:19 PM Stupid Dude###336: I don’t treat her like i used to, i try to do everything [in] my power to show her on a daily basis that I love her, but in the back of my mind I always wonder what if

       So you see, from what I posted, and from what I REFUSE to post…. we hear it all. And this is the PG stuff that I can post. I never wanted him back after seeing how he still treated women, but that didn’t keep him from trying to turn me into an OW. Even if I didn’t know that the other girl existed… I highly doubt that I would have dated this person again. Just something about him rings “lie”. OWs become the other person because the guy feels that he is missing out on something. He gets greedy, or gets scared of commitment and he freaks out and goes in search of an OW. He said everything above, I don’t have the power in me as an OW to make him say this…..much like you don’t have the power to keep him around if he doesn’t want to stay. You have to look out for you…because that is EXACTLY what an OW and your man are doing. Why should you be the only one not being taken care of? But I digress…back to the advice.

        Outside of the obvious, don’t tell your woes to an OW. A reformed OW will tell you to think it out on your own, dig inside your heart and think about what is best for you and your future…. a triffling OW will prompt you to unlock the door so she can help you pack your ish as she cases out how her earring collection will look beautiful on the bedroom dresser. To be honest, I wouldn’t even tell my friends how bad my relationship had gotten unless my husband was OJ, Manson, or George W Bush. There are some things, ladies, that you need to learn to keep to yourself. Because you never know who you could be helping to creep all up and through your situation. An OW doesnt need any additional help, because he’s quick to tell us what it is that you don’t do:

  • 5:08:20 PM Stupid Dude###336: i actually sat there last nite and tried to find [what i liked in you ,in her] but y’all are 2 totally different people
    5:08:42 PM Me: you can go play basketball with her, watch sports, go to the club, crack jokes, make nicknames…I don’t do anything special
    5:09:28 PM Stupid Dude###336: she doesn’t play basketball, she doesn’t club, and she doesn’t watch sports for real
    5:10:38 PM Me: I don’t play basketball..I don’t club, and I dont watch sports for real.. you see how much in common we have
    5:11:04 PM Stupid Dude###336: we did all of that…lol
    5:11:30 PM Me: hahahaha… I dont have any basketball skills…lol. that was pretend
    5:11:35 PM Me: I am sure she can do better than me
    5:12:02 PM Stupid Dude###336: that’s not the point…you got out there and you played ball with me

And even faster at telling us how much he dreams about us:

  • 5:25:19 PM Stupid Dude###336: we started kissing and you were unbuttoning my shirt and a nigga woke up
    5:25:38 PM Me: lol
    5:25:48 PM Stupid Dude###336: I remember all that cause [wife’s name] said I was moaning in my sleep
    5:25:57 PM Me: wow!!!!!
    5:26:12 PM Me: now watch me get blamed for that mess

       And even when the OW stays in her place, reminds him of what they really are and that nothing more can happen… the man will try reverse psychology:

  • 6:27:24 PM Me: any time , friend
    6:27:37 PM Stupid Dude###336: i don’t even want that title
    6:27:46 PM Me: why, friend?
    6:27:55 PM Stupid Dude###336: i come at you like you are doing wrong but you aren’t
    6:28:19 PM Stupid Dude###336: i try to make it seem like all i want is a friend when i know that all I want is you
    6:28:24 PM Stupid Dude###336: by my side
    6:28:31 PM Stupid Dude###336: i’m sorry
    6:28:34 PM Me: friend, I can stand beside you
    6:28:43 PM Stupid Dude###336: stop calling me that
    6:28:49 PM Me: and apology accepted for your confusing yourself
    6:29:12 PM Me: and I will think about [if I will] stop calling you my friend
    6:29:32 PM Me: but i have to say it so I can stay in my place, to stay where I need to be
    6:29:55 PM Stupid Dude###336: well maybe that’s not where you need to be
    6:29:56 PM Me: to remain safe in these dangerous conversations that we keep having, which is so not fair to anyone involved
    6:30:07 PM Stupid Dude###336: true

       And when he saw that  I wasnt budging…. he went back in for the kill. The ” I will tell you how horrible my situation is, even if it really isnt, just so that you can change your mind and do what I want you to do” move. Yes… I call this the “Extra Desperate To Think I’m This Dumb” Tactic:

  • 6:45:59 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you have accomplishments…i have a marriage license that don’t mean shit
    6:46:08 PM    Me: why doesnt it mean shit
    6:46:14 PM    Me: it is a marriage license.
    6:46:37 PM    Stupid Dude###336: because the marriage isn’t shit…we don’t do shit for real
    6:46:46 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you have accomplishments i don’t
    6:47:04 PM    Me: I have accomplishments because I refuse to SETTLE!!!!!
    6:47:08 PM    Stupid Dude###336: I won’t be able to have a family
    6:47:17 PM    Stupid Dude###336: just a wife
    6:48:03 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you will have your accomplishments, your husband, and a family…
    6:48:13 PM    Stupid Dude###336: you say you won’t but i believe you will

       Zinger……3 hours later….he just nailed his own coffin….all in hopes of having an OW by his side. He could be lying through his teeth, and very well may have been…..but either way, his words have consequences. I consider this desperate. I know he doesn’t respect his wife…..and he damn sure doesn’t respect me. But this is nothing unusual in the life of an OW. They will stop at NOTHING to try to get us. Some fall for this, the rest of us…. we don’t. But the smart ones keep the evidence for sour, bitter days like today. When you get tired of holding on to someone else’s dirty laundry and you finally decide for them to wash their own emotional shit!

       And I am not innocent in all of this. I said some things here or there that I probably shouldn’t have. But before every conversation was concluded, like this excerpt from another conversation, I let him know how cool I really was with his wife and why nothing could ever go down. Yes,I’m cool with the wife…..dont ask, long story, out of the ordinary, but the girl is mad cool. So I once said to him, (and this is speaking from truth)

  • 5:11:21 PM      Me: You would flinch if you knew the number of times that I have plotted to get you away from [wife] and then had to pray for forgiveness because it was only out of jealousy to the fact that she had something that I didnt
    5:11:34 PM    Me: dude… you better be Glad the Lord is always talking to me
    5:11:35 PM    Me: lol
    5:12:05 PM    Stupid Dude###336: You would flinch if you knew the number of times that I have wanted you to get you away from [wife]
    5:12:30 PM    Me: you wanted me to get away from [wife], or you to get away from [wife]?
    5:12:52 PM    Stupid Dude###336: i wanted you
    5:13:26 PM    Me: nah, I wouldn’t flinch… you said it.. the truth of the matter is I didnt believe it because you werent bold nor stupid enough to take measures to follow through with it
    5:13:39 PM    Me: and the funny thing is.. I am too cool with [wife] to even let you do it.
    5:13:47 PM    Stupid Dude###336: i hear ya….
    5:14:34 PM    Me: I dont think that she talks about me behind my back, but I wouldnt be surprised because she has every reason to do so… I’m your ex….but I still will never do anything from my side to give her [reason] to
  • 5:53:17 PM    Stupid Dude###336: i mean when you say that you wish you never married me then how do you expect that i would feel?
    5:53:36 PM    Me: ouch
    5:53:42 PM    Me: that is between you… and her
    5:54:18 PM    Me: I want to steer as far away from that conversation as humanly possible.. for soooooo many reasons
    5:55:26 PM    Me: bathroom break..brb
    5:56:12 PM    Stupid Dude###336: if u get mad at me for talking fly to other females but then you talking waaay more fly to other guys and even after we got married then what….
    5:58:47 PM    Me: again
    5:58:56 PM    Me: I am staying faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from that conversation
    5:59:03 PM    Stupid Dude###336: lol…my bad
    5:59:29 PM    Me: I am not touching that one with a ten foot pole…… just not gonna do it

       As you can see, my advice comes from a collage of personal experiences from different relationships and from watching other friends become OWs knowingly or unknowingly. Either way, I sympathize with any woman in a relationship. There is a lure about an OW that keeps the man interested, that keeps his inner hunter wondering if he can capture a woman, and the thrill of the chase and not getting caught. Oddly enough, it doesn’t mean that he loves you any less, it just means that he doesn’t love himself enough to know that working with one great woman is better than having two who hate you. I didn’t invent the game, but several years ago I learned how to play it, and got out before I got burned. I was the main woman trying to keep all of the OWs away and failed miserably, and then he turned around and tried to make me the OW. I wouldn’t let it happen, kept him in the friend zone. But other guys have made me the OW by omitting that they are already in relationships and then me finding out from Myspace, Facebook, or email, or the good old fashion female calling my house cussing me out. So I thought that I would share this with women who are in relationships…..you have to think like your enemy…..that is the only way you will ever win. Pride aside, the best woman doesn’t always win. Sometimes, losing, as in losing your relationship… could be the best thing to ever happen to you, and you will have an OW to thank.

       My intention is not to shock, hurt, damage or destroy any relationship. This is my blog and I write what I want to write as a part of my therapy… and this just happened to be the topic of the day. So don’t blame me if any of these issues show up in your current situation… I AM NOT THE OW. My suggestion is that,since it is my right to write about my life,  if you don’t want to show up in a blog…I suggest you don’t do me dirty…lol. You may not like what I have written, why I chose to write this, or the fact that I even wrote it… but you have to respect the fact that I told the truth. Come hell or high water, I wish someone would have explained OWs to me before my life got snatched from under me. This is like the Confessions of the OW….lol. Men, I swear… can’t live with them, and get 20 years to life without parole if you try to live without them. lmbo!

This has been Advice from the Other Woman…..comments are welcome.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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  1. […] Ummm…. Check out My blog Advice From the Other Woman , The House My Father Built, and What Happens in this House: A Molestation Survivor […]

  2. […] For instance, if you read my “Advice from the Other Woman” blog entry you would know that I have some weird situations in my life that I couldn’t make […]

  3. I read how you conveniently left out some of the things you said, this by your own admission. I feel if you are going to tell a story, tell it all.

    Yeah ole boy was wrong but what all did he REALLY say? What all did YOU really say? If you gonna put ole boy on blast with his shit, put yours on blast.Is it that you don’t want your devoted fans to know how much of a hoe you were in the conversations with ole boy? Maybe his girl wouldn’t suck dick and he knew you would. You gotta look at that shit from both sides. Was he telling you what you wanted to hear? Shit that he knew would put you back under his spell so he could get more shit out of you?

    My point is that a man will tell the most insecure broad what the fuck she wants to hear because we all looking for that one thing, to get some head or some pussy. Seems like if ole boy had you running up behind him all them years, that nigga doin something right. And what is the true reason you friends with his ole lady? Are you still trying to hold on to that nigga? Get the fuck outta here!

    Funny ass read tho! Imma make sure my OW’s read this so they KNOW how to act.

    Peace 2deep. What does that mean anyway?

    • Well,
      The segments that were omitted were not parts that I said. The parts that were omitted were things that were far worse whan what I posted. I know that his wife reads my blog and so I omitted them. So, sorry you misread what it was that was omitted or failed to know that the line about omission was left in after a few lines from a previous edit were deleted. I am not afraid of anything in my personal life. Those who know me know that I am an open book for those who need to know. So no… I wasnt a hoe….not even close. Ask about me.

      Also, I never said that I stayed behind him for years… you just assumed I did. I said that I have conversations from years ago….all of them are not from him. Again, a misread on your part….but nice try. But in all honesty, I was connected to him because we were friends far before we were lovers, I was also pregnant with his child… so there is more to this story than written…too much for one blog entry. As far as his wife…. I didnt start the friendship…she did. And since he and I had a friendship I was open and honest with her about everything….including telling her about this blog entry before I wrote it. And I am no longer in communication with him and have not been for quite some time… so no, no holding on. I finally let go.

      And I agree, males will try to find an insecure broad, but it takes a just as insecure male to have to stoop so low. If his game was on point he could tell all women involved that this is purely for sex and they would stick around knowing the truth. I have male friends who do this and all girls know exactly what is going on. THAT is game. SO no…. I dont fall into that category….this is a pure case of a guy who didnt know what he had when he had it and kep trying to get it back. If I were to be that insecure female, there were several opportunities when things could have popped off but they didnt. Besides, we dont even live in the same region of the country. But that is neither here nor there.

      In the end, I thank you for your comment. It lets me know how my writing needs to be more precise and to the point. I like a challenge… so again, THANKS.
      Also, check out my poetry…it is my stage name and has to do with Dissociative Identy Disorder. Google it and Me. God bless!

  4. Very bold yet honest. You offer a different perspective from the so- called homewrecker of marriages. Ladies, remember before you go to the OW and confront her, check your man and yourself. Introspection is key!

  5. An OW named ‘Tabitha’…..hmmmmmmmmm. Anyway, I know that I get tired of women asking me how I deal with my man having two close friends who are females… I trust him. I don’t worry about his conversations with them or even if he hangs out with them. Bottom line: He comes home to me every night (sometimes during the day…but that’s TMI). I wasn’t always this confident. I used to be pretty insecure about somethings, but I had to learn. I can just about guarantee that if you stress your man and give him hell and try to force him to share every detail about his friendships with women, that would serve only to push him away. I’m cool with my man having female friends and I’m confident in my ability to keep him happy to run home to ME. And just in case that isn’t enough……I know how to kill a bitch and get away with it….that or just F-up her life irreparably…. and I make sure she knows it too 😉

    • lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tab… this is why I fux w/ you!!!!! You keep me dying laughing, I swear you do. I feel you. I just had to write from the OW side and not just the relationship side. But your advice is great too.

      • But for real tho… It’s hard to tell the main woman not to be upset with the OW. She loves her man and despite the wrong he’s done, it’s easier to focus the blame and anger on the OW….at least initially.

        And from one main woman to an Ex-Unintentional OW, thank you for being so honest!

        • I know what you mean. But this is why things remain the same. Going after an OW who has no bond with you no only keeps the cycle going, but then sparks off female rivalry. If OWs and Main Women were civil & would ban together and both realize that the guy is bugging, it would begin to force men to behave better because he would have less places to run to act an ass. But since women fight over him, he is raised in value, sees what his action creates and may or may not choose to change. If that makes any sense at all. So it is the women who have to correct their behavior first. You cant have an obese person if there isnt any food for them to indulge in. Just saying….

          And you’re welcome. I try to make things even. Its not fair to show things only from one side. Most women will go through their life never being an OW. But their having never seen a guy in action trying to obtain an OW they will always blame the woman. MWs have to ask, how did the woman get his number, why does she know where he live, and why is he only telling you of her existence when things arent looking so good in his favor. But of course….this too like everything else will fall on deaf ears. Thanks for reading.

  6. Thank you so much for posting this! I learned so many of these lessons the hard way when I unknowingly got sucked into being the OW. Awkwardest dinner of my life when he said “actually I have something to tell you; I’m still married”
    There are so many things that could be learned and shared from that but people so often automatically blame the OW and won’t listen to a word she says! Thanks for having the cojones to put it out there!

    • Diva, from the conversations that you and I have had to the experiences we have shared…. you and I BOTH know that neither of us are OW material. Well, not intended OWs. So why a woman would come at us makes about as much sense as taking The Game off of television. We are just as surprised and as hurt as the women who feel betrayed. Instead of attacking us, work with us and let us heal together. I know the way I chose to discuss the topic is unconventional…but as am I. Thanks for reading!

  7. This is an excellent post for all to read

  8. Very interesting from the OW’s view. It was a great read since you included both sides of the story. Ladies I hope u took notes… Fellas stop talkin so much smh

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