The Borgias~ F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

Episode 4: Something Borrowed (Lucrezia’s Wedding)

Episode 5: Borgias in Love

Episode 6: F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing (The French King)

Episode 7: Death on a Pale Horse

Episode 8: The Art of War

Episode 9: Nobody

I should have written this last night, but I had to prepare for this morning. But, rest assured that I did at least watch the show…. so, shall we?

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, ,2 , 2, 2, 2 #CrimeMurderFamilyAmen

Okay, off the bat…. this episode was clearly a reflection of a sexually oppressed writer. I think the only male butt and female’s breast I didn’t see in this episode was Vannozza ( the mother of the Pope’s children) and her husband. There were freaks to the left of them, freaks to the right of them….lol.

So, outside of all the blatant fornication, there really was some progression in the plot….I think. Rovere was still milling about the country trying to bring France to Rome’s front door. Which to me is the STUPIDEST thing to do. Why kill innocent lives just to bring down the papacy? I feel like I should have called on the Charmed sisters. P3 to the rescue!!! But he succeeded in getting the King Charles of France to agree to begin a war, right after he showed him the destruction that a cannon can do to a castle wall. Yes, I have always wanted to shoot a cannon into the side of my own castle wall……sign number one.

Lucrezia has quickly settled in to her role of Battered Wives 101. After setting up Swartza to fall off the horse, where he subsequently broke his leg, she has taken on the role of his caretaker. He immediately apologizes for the way that he treated her merely because she has Borgia blood in her veins. She wipes it away as she has more tricks than this up her sleeves. She later mentions to Cesare that she finds that a confined husband is a more tame husband.  Her an Paulo kick up their sexual raunchiness up a notch. Yes, nothing says “freak me baby” like poison ivy in the ass after a romp in the forrest or sex on an old, creaky maritial bed. Even the servants are helping to keep Paulo and Lucrezia’s sexual activities under wraps. Swartza once heard the bed squeaking from the room he now sleeps in due to his injury and seeks out the cause of this noise. He was under suspicion that some sexual activity was going on, but the servants stopped him in the hall by showing him that the noise he heard was merely the squeaky butter churn. CLEAR GENIUS!!!

Juan was supposedly next in line to be married, as Cesare is now a cardinal and cannot be married. They show the bastard daughter of King Ferrante of The House of Aragon (Naples). It is agreed that Joffre, the youngest who I believe is only 13, will be the one to marry her. Juan makes up some excuse that he must go check out this betrothed woman on Joffre’s behalf. Upon getting to Naples he has dinner and is given Sancia, the Dukess ( which is my first time hearing the term), as a tour guide of the castle. Sancia and Juan found it rather erotic to have sex on the table of the embalmed dead people who King Ferrante kept in his castle. Yes, THIS was new levels of freakdom for me.

Another level of Freakdom is that Sancia still married Joffre Borgia, and moments before entering the marital bedroom to consummate their marriage, she was behind the wall having sex with Juan. Yes, I find it highly creepy and a means to file a child molestation charge on those who felt it okay for a 130year-old Joffre to consummate his marriage with this 20-something-year-old illegitimate child of King Ferrante.  The scene, down to the fade out was rather creepy and uncomfortable to me. Just saying….. But at least his mother was allowed to attend his wedding. And oh… Cesare and Vannozza picked up on the subtle clues that when it came to Joffre’s betrothed wife…. Juan already hit that…lol. Well, they gave that impression, any way.

Cesare, which I find it interesting to keep hearing everyone pronounce his name Chess-ah-ray, finally gets some booty from the nobleman’s wife. For 3 weeks they broke her wedding vows and some of his Cardinal vows as well, just for her to discover that her husband was found dead with knife wounds to the chest. She feels guilty, gets all dramatic, Cesare says that he will hunt her down and she will never get rid of him, and she joins a nunnery. *Cues Shakespeare Abridged* “Get thee to a nunnery!”

Juan happens to be at his mother’s cottage when her husband shows up; not to be confused with the Pope, mind you. He gets enraged and beats the living spit out of this dude. All under the premise that rumor has it one of the Borgia children are indeed Vanozza’s. Juan confronts the Pope, to which the Pope replies “You are our son”. I think he was speaking in the papacy sense, as in You are the son of the Pope, The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I don’t think that he means, Mine and your mother’s.

There is soooo much here, and judging by the simple Google search that I did to find Sancia’s name, this series could go on for YEARS!!!!! I don’t want to spoil it, but research showed me that people get married more than once, and the debauchery continues! STAY TUNED!!! Amen

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~