Lisa Raye~ ….Get Out The Kitchen

Episode 1: My Intro to Lisa Raye

Episode 2: Take 2, Literally

Episode 3: What Chilli Wants?

Episode 4: Birth of a Runner

Episode 5: JemsLifeForASPS.org

If I remember NOTHING else…. my future husband, Chef G Garvin, is on this episode. So, shut up and let me watch this episode.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #ALLWHITEDiamonds

So, I had a very HARD day at work. I have a migraine and really wanted to just come in and go straight to sleep, but I needed a pick me-up…….this is doing it!

Waaaaaaaaait! Did Candy just sit there and say that the best mac & cheese was the kind with the government cheese…lmao!!! That was funny. And wow!!! This cook-off challenge literally came out of nowhere. So I guess that there was more conversation that got edited.

I am looking at the outside of Lisa Raye’s house…. and I must admit, it doesnt look like it would be a house that Lisa would choose. Why in the hell is the house not white? I’m just saying.

Okay, so now Lisa Raye is trying to be on her Sonja Norwood? And I am listening to Lisa Raye being a “momeger” and it seems so casual and laid back and not very manager-ish. And then she threw in a pitch for them to send her clothes in a size 6…..lmao! Hood fab.

I would go to buy Apple Bottom, but I dont have an apple or a bottom….so I would be in penalty for stepping foot in the store…lol. As president of Donk Deficiency Anonymous, I have to represent for the assless. lol.

Beverly Johnson’s daughter, Anansa, is gorgeous!!! But then again, I have to say this…..she looks like what the modeling industry wants plus size girls to look like. She has the slanted eyes and high cheek bones with the long hair. I want them to let everyone be represented. Can we get darker skin tones, kinkier hair, etc. I am not knocking either of them for working out their hustle….but I want the industry to give someone who looks like me and not someone who is shaped like me. Is that too much to ask? Either way….they both are beautiful.

I want a photo by Derek Blanks!!!!!! He will superimpose the Royal Wedding in Kenya if you ask him too! lol.

Kai is ROCKING this Apple Bottom photo shoot. The one with the black dress and she is standing up…… PRICELESS!!! That is gorgeous!!! I want that dress….. *googles*

HERE COMES MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!! Damn, his hands even look sexy as hell. Dear Lord, I have NEVER prayed to you for a husband, so the fact that I am coming to you now should tell you how serious I am. Please let me be found by Chef G. Garvin….lol. Wait, no lol… I’m serious! Yummy… he looks as delectable as his food is. *shivers* LMAO!!! Did Chef G. Garvin do the Huxtable Jump-back at the “from the side” joke? hahahahahaha.

CANDY BETTER BACK THE HELL UP OFF MY MAN!!!!! *Takes off earrings* *Blocks her prayer* Y’all think that I am playing…. I want G. Garvin.  I want to be Mrs. Chef G. Garvin….lol.

And……. I think that Lisa Raye tried to burn their throats with that burger….lol. But at least she won the cook-off. The only thing that is starting to bug me is these little 2 word commentaries Lisa Raye does. “It was down to the wire” or “What was I to do?”. They needed to fill up the 30 minutes? lol.

Awwwww…. it is over? Chef G. Garvin is gone already? Okay, so…. who out there can get me a date with Chef G. Garvin?This is not a TEST or a JOKE… I’m so serious. Do I need to cook? I can cook for him. I’m from the south where in order to breathe in your house you have to cook by the age of 8. lol.  But this was a good episode to watch. Next week’s episode looks good too. And scene.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

 

 

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Breaking In~ Goonies 2

Episode 1: Crazy Old Lady

Episode 2: Need for Speed and Comedy

Episode 3: White on White on White

 

Dear comedic gods, last week was friggin hilarious! Please, oh please let this week be as equally side splitting. Thanks. Age Man. 

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2,2 #StealSomeShit

Okay, wait…. Now Cash is a Harry Potter fan? “What’s up my Muggles” is both funny and creepy….lol.

And it takes a BRAVE woman to have her feet on camera for that long on national TV.  But I wish my man could rub my feet while we are at work. I need to go into business for myself.

Wait!!! There is a Goonies II: The Legend of Sloth?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this just for the purpose of this TV show episode or does a Goonies II really exist?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *GOOGLES* FUCK ME RAW WITH MAGIC JOHNSON’S DICK!!!! There is a Goonies 2 and no one told me. You bitches do know that I have Goonies on DVD and I am looking at it right now. I am on NERD ALERT!!! I need to buy Goonies 2. Okay… sorry, side tracked! Bwahahahahahahaha Cash just had a “nerdgasm”….lmao! I love him. Both the actor and his character; they can get it.

Yes, he just did NOT break out with Chunk’s “truffle shuffle” lmao! Yes, CASH IS AWESOME!!!! You guys do know that the kid who played Chunk is now an entertainment lawyer?

Okay, sooooo how did he even steal the DVD without moving out of his…bwahahahahaha 3 years of magic camp!

bwahahahahahaha “It’s got my ass”! lmao!

bwahahahahaha *cough* choke*choke* Sorry…. rewinds DVR. I think I just peed myself…not a lot but a little bit..lol. The sequence went a little like this:

Cameron: Hell nawl. You want a prank war? You’ve got one

Cash: I’m gonna own you. Prankin’ is my thing, BITCH.

Cameron: Oh, you’re about to get beat at your own thing, BITCH.

Cash: Saying BITCH is my thing, BITCH!

Cameron: You cant have two things, BITCH!

Cash: Well, I do. Cash. (echo effect->)Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

I swear they just broke some kind of record for how many time you can get away with saying bitch consecutively and in the same episode on a primetime TV show. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoever wrote this shit was after my own heart!!! lmao! The comedic Gods have answered my prayers with in the first 2 minutes of the show then re-affirmed my request within the first 10.  The phrase “Saying BITCH is my thing, BITCH!” just beat, “Cover your mouth, Bitch!” lmao!!!!!! I swear I’m putting this on a t-shirt! lmao!!!!!!! Can someone tell Alphonso Mcauley that I want to marry him?

Okay, so Cameron signed  Cash up to a swingers type website as a prank and they showed up to his house. The strange thing was the naked dude dancing. WTF was he saying?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cash said ” I live with my mom, man. She had her prayer group over. I had to join the prayer circle.” lmao!!! OH SHIT!!! Did Cash prank Cameron by putting Viagra in his coffee…lmao!!! PRICELESS!

hahahahahaha “Baby’s gonna tell on me” hahahahahahahahahahaha

Holy spitwad! Josh is an Avatar? I actually forget that Josh is even a member of this show. He is not even in the promo pic above and he randomly shows up in episodes. I wonder how fucked up must his contract be for that.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Cash somehow managed to swipe the Goonies 2 DVD out of the custodian cart. Put 5 on it.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!! He did not do the “Goonies Never Say Die” speech!!! & TRUFFLE SHUFFLE!!!! lmao!!! Cameron is cool now, too.

Oh lawd!!! Black Zeus, a comedic hero who raps by day and is a superhero by night? lmao! funny.

And I agree Melanie (Odette) does look like Meagan Fox.

SWEET HEAVENS!!!! Dutch’s allergic reaction to peanuts looks worse than Hitch’s face.

Okay…. this episode is by FAR my favorite!!!!!!!!! Thank you comedic gods!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~