Single Ladies~ Table for 1

Episode 1: Table for 1

I know absolutely NOTHING about the plot of this show other than it is called Single Ladies, Stacey Dash, Lisa Raye and some random white girl are the stars and I just pray that Beyoncé’s Single Ladies does NOT show up anywhere in this entire show. I think this may be a 2 hour premiere, but don’t quote me

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2 #BitterBitches

Okay, sooooo the opening scene about how a man can get away with acceptable nasty versus just plain oldnasty. lol. LMAO!!!!  And yes, I agree… a woman already knows if a guy is gonna get to “hit it” when she first meets him.  I also agree with the fact that a guy knows when he is going to marry a woman in the first 15 minutes of meeting her.

So, Val (Stacey Dash) is in a 5 year relationship with Quinton and he has yet to propose to her. Hmmm…. but at least she just opened up her own clothing store. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM!!!! Val just told Q that she compromised by being in a relationship with him!!! And sidebar in my moment. WHAT THE HELL DOES STACEY DO TO STAY LOOKING LIKE A 25-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT!!!!!? Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, she did not cliché this scene!!! She broke out with Beyoncé’s “if you like it then you need to put a ring on it”! No, you NEVER give a man an ultimatium!! You give him the power when you do that!!! If he don’t put a ring on it, he doesnt like you….pack it up and keep it moving.

Wait, out of all of the guys that they could have picked for Lisa Raye…. they picked THIS weird looking dude? Now, the opening to their bedroom scene was kinky, classy and sexy all at the same time. And yes!!!!!! Keisha (Lisa Raye) just kicked old dude out of her bed and made him go home at 4am. lol. Hilarious!!! And did he just say that he was short on cab money, too? Ummm… too much good dick in the world for me to settle on a broke dude with good dick. Okay, wait, sooo who is this dark handsome dude on the phone? HOT DAYUM!!! He is fine. As soon as I can remember Malcolm’s real name…lol…like the actor who plays him. *wipes forehead. Waiiiiiiiiiiit! So, Keisha likes white clothing too? Ummm, isnt that bringing TOO MUCH of Lisa Raye into the role? *Sigh* Don’t make me pre-judge this please.

LMAO!!! Did that dude just tell Keisha that her booty doesnt bounce like it use to? lmao! LMAO!!! He said “You’re reinventing and what is Cam’ron doing…..recycling?” lmao! Okay, soooooo Keisha USE to be a back-up video vixen and then she retired, but if going to do a cameo in a Cam’ron video?

Okay, so EVE is guest-starring too? She is the only investor in Val’s store?

And who is April suppose to be? The Kelly (The Game) of this show? Just asking? And where can I get these naked men to take care of my girls and I? And can someone please teach the guy that is on Val to give a proper massage…… even in this camera shot I can tell that he is fucking her shoulder up!

Sidebar:The acting is surface and I am trying my hardest to get past the buildup of the back history…..but pray with me that this gets better. Lawd! Please don’t let me judge it

Sooooooo, who is Lauren London playing, I mean… besides someone’s fiancee? But SOMETHING is telling me that Lauren’s fiance is……….DAMN! I couldnt even get it out fast enough!!!! Q!!!!! But wait, did he not know where Val’s store was located because she bought it before they broke up? Ummmm…. they lost me in believability!

Can someone tell me what it is that April & Keisha do? I ask because Val seems to be the only one with a true profession.

Now, who is Jasmine and why is she giving Keisha the stank eye? Ohhhh so, Jasmine is the SuperHead of this show since she is writing a tell-all book. Wait….. Jasmine…. is that Kim Porter? Diddy’s children’s mother…or mother of his children? Well I be damned!

LMao!!! K.C. is kind of cute.  & Dione is fugly….lol. But I think that K.C. and Val would make a great couple. But…. that is just my opinion. AND he owns the tattoo shop! AND he turned Val into a freak!!!! lol. Damn, she called him back after hours and they got it on in her shop? Ewwwwww Coochie Stain Couture!!! lol.

HAHAHAH!!! Keisha cooked Malcolm breakfast! lmao!!! That was priceless! But I do love the Tango that the two of them are having over the power of this relationship.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! So, K.C. was a good guy and you chalk him up to a one-night stand and then you beg Q to come over for “closure”? Girl… let that lite bright negro go! Dayum… she called him by his entire name. Quinton Andre Davis….lol. Ummm…. I know she’s not wearing a bra… but umm… I pray she is rocking at least a thong in this see-through dress. Wait, Q came back to console her? And sexual consoling it is! lmao! This cheating son of a bitch! But dayum he is fine once that shirt came off!!! I love it when a man has the lower back dimples…shit!

NOW CHilli?!!!!!!! LMAO!!!! The dude talking about Phil in the background almost made me pee myself!!!

WHo is this short fucker dancing off beat in this club scene? The one in the tan suit to the left of the screen? And speaking of color… this is the most I have seen on Lisa Raye since Player’s Club. Wait… soooo Common is playing the mayor and the WHITE GIRL IS GETTING THAT TOO?! Yes, Common can get it….lol. Dayum, Malcolm walked up in the club with another female? hmmmm.  OUCH!!! “Children brag, call me when you want to find out what women do.”~Keisha.  Oh wait… so the other woman with Malcolm is Jasmine…the ex-dancer?

Soooooo Jasmine needs her ass whooped for blackmailing Keisha. K.C. is on the good side of stalking. Good to know that guys can come back and be the good guy too.  HOOOOOOOOLD up!!!! Val may be pregnant!!!!? Okay, Jermaine Dupree, Kandi too? Sooooo is this the ATL hangout? lmao! I swear if i see any of the Atlanta Housewives on here I’m screaming!

EWWWWWWWWWW! Who carries pregnancy tests in their purses? Trick you peed on that! Oh, so Q is a basketball player? Hmmm… interesting.  BITCH, GET OFF COMMON!!!!

Ummm… this Cam’ron vid looks like one of his real vids….lol. AND Noooooooo Keisha is not stealing while on the set out of Cam’ron’s trailer!!!!!! Okay, that was too damn bold and for no damn reason! He is just a straight up klepto! First he gets robbed in D.C. and now in Atlanta….lmao! This negro needs better security! lmao!

LMAO!!! K.C. said “I’m not John Mayer, I date all women of different colors in the bedroom”. OUCH!!! He said “my mom watches Oprah” when asked how his parents respond to his interracial dating.  I love his character. So far, he is the only one that I can connect to.

I find the fact that Darryl is with a white woman HILARIOUS because the actor was in this movie…. that for the life of me I cant remember the name of it. But the premise was that he would only date white women until he found this eclectic black girl….lol.  Oh snap! It was called I’m Through With White Girls lmao! And you mean to tell me that the Mayor would risk his career in public like that.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo Keisha stole so that Jasmine would take her out of her book? I would have worn a wire just to cover my own tracks with that chick. She now has true evidence to black mail Keisha with now. Shame.

HOLD THE FUCK UP!!! This just got juicy!! Q came up in Val’s house because Darryl told him that April blurted out to him that Val is pregnant! And he said she isn’t having it, nor is she getting any of his money! This nigga here! You weren’t worried about your fiancée when you were having sex with Val. Girl….. I’d blackmail his tall, fine ass all the way to the bank with this one!

Daaaaaaaaaamn! So, actually, Keisha stole the watch from Cam’ron but Cam’ron was too broke to own the piece so he was borrowing it from Malcolm and sooooooo she actually stole from Malcolm and he is pissed! And HELL NAWL! He did not throw a black woman in the pool! But I do love how Keisha is playing hard to get!

Awww Val had to give the Jag back because she couldnt afford it. Hmmm. I had a problem with her throwing the keys for Keisha and April to drive it. I wouldnt let my own dad drive my Expedition after my graduation.  I love you dad, but you didnt chip in….annnnnnd you despise 20 inch rims any way…lol. But I guess I should have let him drive it since he let me push his Benz….lmao. But, that’s in the past.

And I just want to punch April in her clavicle for cheating on a black man who is trying to make their marriage work. Hell, for cheating on ANY man that wants to make their marriage work. Shame… just a plain shame! Ugh!

Okay, soooooooooo DAYUM!!!!! The dude that ran through them while they were walking in the park is FINE!!! I miss home! I miss how we make ’em down south.  And Val isnt pregnant? And the way that she just played Q is right up my alley!!! lol. HILARIOUS!!!! Funny couldnt capture that. Classy with a tinge of ghetto but on point.

Ummmm, so Lauren’s character said that she gets engaged a lot? Umm… and the mayor is cheating with another white chick? lmao!!!! funny. And so, is Lauren apart of the cast now?

Okay… it started off slow…. looks like Sex in the City for black girls, and yet it picked up in the second hour. So, I really think that I could learn to like this show. My ONLY prayer…. Dear Lord, please don’t let me Let’s Stay Together  this show. Y’all KNOW I hated that show… so dear God don’t let me hate this show. Other than that…. let’s get the party poppin’!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Basketball Wives ~ Jump-offs Return : Season 3

Episode 1: Jump-offs Return, Season 3

Okay…. so I was in the middle of watching Lena Horne in Stormy Weather  when it dawned on me that Single Ladies is coming on tonight at 9pm EST, and Low and behold….Basketball Hoes & Exes is on!!!  Okay, yes, I get it…. that’s not the title of the show, but until one of these females ACTUALLY gets married…. that is what I am going to call it. And how ironic that the one who MIGHT beat everyone to the punch will be Ms. Big Forehead herself…. Evelyn.LMAO!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #BasketballBenchBitches

I dont know how I feel about the whole Suzie vs Tami prejudgment thing. I think that this too will past. I think I might buy the t-shirts that Evelyn may be sending in Tami’s direction……NOT because I agree with Evelyn (b/c Lawd knows I am Team Tami til the day she dies) But b/c I know a few females who I need to send that shirt to….lmao!. Waait!!! Did Royce just called Evelyn a hoe?!! lol.  Tami said that she was a jump off but Royce came back hard and said that she was a “hoe with an entire garden”!!! lmao!!! Hoe, hoe, hoe, hoe! “She’s, got flowers…cabbage……lol”.

Okay, sooooooo now Evelyn has to say “my fiance” and not just say Chad’s  name ? Bitch, okay….we get it. We know that you are engaged again…….FINALLY!!!! lol. Wait…. AGAIN? I’m lost with how many men you have been attached to.

Meeka , Speedy Claxton’s wife, is GORGEOUS!!!! So, she is the ONLY wife… Okay… so I may have to call it Basketball Wife and Bench Bitches….lol. But must EVERYONE meet with a new group member? And, yes, I agree… Meeka is jumping all up in Jennifer’s business!!! Please tell me that we dont have to see Mr. Alien Forehead (Eric) this season!!!

Wait… did Suzie say that Royce likes drama? Can someone please tell me how did Suzie get the right to say that someone else is into drama? Lawd…. this is gonna get goooooood.

LMAO!!!! Royce said that when she met with Meeka she felt like she was meeting Gloria all over again. I mean really? She was making her money and paying her bills. She was a dancer!!!! But damn… these earrings are hanging on Royce’s ears with the weight of a baby elephant and I think they are going to rip her ear off.She is too petite to be wearing these huge ass hoops. But Meeka saying that a dancer shouldnt take that job because she may get with one of the basketball players is bogus! Bitch, you shouldnt get with a man that you cant trust once he goes to work with these women. Basically, you are telling these women that they shouldnt tempt married men to step out on you, when he should already have that kind of discipline. I just say that these men should be held to higher standards and responsibilities and y’all need to stop being threatened by these dancers. YOu are showing your weak card.

Okay, Meeka, I mean….. I don’t know you, but you are too thick to be wearing a dress that damn short.AND YOUR BLACK BRA PEEKING OVER THIS FUSCHIA DRESS IS KILLING ME!!!!! Make your undies match your clothes.  And yes, I agree with Shaunie that Meeka is running her mouth when she is just meeting these females. Honey, boo boo… you don’t know these females. You are taking sides, and unfortunately… you are siding with the side who can’t fight.

This false ass nice talk that Tami and Evelyn are doing with one another in this meet-up about the t-shirt and their previous fall-out is making me itch. These ” You’re a Non-Motherfucking Factor” t-shirts are hilarious.  And HERE we go!!!! Tami just started it back up! And then Evelyn just offered to give proceeds from her t-shirts to a young girl’s charity that Tami supports….lmao!!! And Evelyn said that she should trademark that line…. I remember she said it, but I havent thought about it until this episode. So I dont think that anyone else is making a big deal of it but her. lol. I take it back, I will NOT purchase a shirt. lol.

Okay, Speedy is fine as hell!!! Thank you, Jesus. But can we PLEASE find a basketball player who is STILL in the league other than Gloria’s abusive husband….lol. And they have been married for 5 years. hmmmmm…. I have so much to say about that. I mean they are bowling without a bodyguard in sight. I dont think that people even know who they are.

And the fact that Suzie and Tami can meet without blood shedding is a sign of maturity. Now, Tami said that she wont tell Suzie any of her business and then she reveals to Suzie that she is going to sue Evelyn…..(enters “huh” face). But wait, is there even grounds for which she can file a lawsuit?

Lawd, if you love me please let Tami not give a fuck and haul off and punch Evelyn in her forehead! Okay, so EVelyn’s shop is called Dul-say and not Dul-che.  AND nooooooooo She did not pull the shirt out to show Tami the shirts.  No she did not Boo, boo Tami!!! Lawd… why do they sign these waivers?!!!! I need someone to let them be the ghetto women with big bank accounts that they are just so they can fight. I wonder how Chad feels about havin a woman who cant fight worth shit…lol. Well, at least we know they are back on. Sooooooo stay tuned!

Ummmmmm the captions of the sneak previews of the season have me cracking up laughing!!!!!! Yeh…. Stay Tuned!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~