For an entire YEAR, Beyoncé had the world over, women, kids, gays, lesbians, little people, tall people, ugly people, and I think a chimpanzee in Milan screaming from the mountain tops that “If he likes it then he needs to put a ring on it.” Needless to say, even SHE wasnt screaming that nonsense until AFTER Jay put a ring on it. Before that it was Independent Woman this & Let Me Cater to You that. It’s a set up ladies. lol The premise behind him wanting to put a ring on it and what you must do to get there are two totally different things. I know that for a fact. Just like I know for a FACT that this blog entry is going to stir up a ton of backlash from my female readers….but so what. Maybe then you will see things from your man’s side and may actually be grateful for the stress and strain…and balls to the wall courage it took for him to finally propose.
My philosophy on the engagement ring is sooooooooo far different from any female that you will ever hear in your life. It is my personal belief that when a man proposes he should propose with the simple band (no jewels) as a promise and symbol of a pending marriage. Upon completion of their vows, then and only then, should they exchange the heavily awaited diamond encrusted jewel piece. Why do I think this way, you ask? Simple:
1. I’m a logical human being, and in being so I think that even the song is stupid. You mean to tell me that if he LIKES it he will put a diamond ring on it, but if he LOVES it all I get is a simple band? Stupid, right? It’s as if you put more em-PHA-sis on the engagement than you did on the marriage ceremony with the current set-up of the rings. No wonder why marriages are jacked up.
2. Since guys don’t know what they really want and/or need out of a woman that he may one day marry….there is a chance that he will buy a minimum of two (2) engagement rings between the ages of 19 and 35. This also creates drama on whether or not a man should get the ring back should the relationship not work out. But if it was a simple band we wouldn’t have this problem.
3. I am rather a narcissist, and it is my belief that I would be okay with him giving away 5 simple bands to women before me who he thought were the one, but then I would be the only one who made it to the altar to receive the ultimate prize of the diamond ring. As his new bride, I would love him for not wasting money on 5 different women purchasing 5 different diamonds ( BECAUSE YOU DONT RECYCLE A FAILED ENGAGEMENT RING)!
4. This will cut down on the woman working just for the ring and then changing once she has it. I am a strong believer that you should only buy gifts over $1 Thousand for a fiancée and over $2 Thousand for your spouse….everyone else has yet to earn that kind of spending. That is why these gold diggers want the rings to be so huge and then find out you don’t actually live like that.
All of my reasons are rather selfish, really. I guess that I am not the type of girl who wears a lot of jewelry to begin with, so WHICH ring he proposes with wouldn’t really bother me, because it is more so (at least to me) about the fact that he had enough love for me to be courageous enough to ask me to spend the rest of my life with him. I know that scares the daylights out of a guy….so why add the stress of the engagement ring? Shouldnt the diamond be a surprise at the altar of what he thought to get for his new wife? Shouldnt the most expensive jewel only be given to the wife? Because if you put things into perspective….you will always be the other woman, an informal side piece, in comparison to his future wife. You do not deserve the jewel unless you both have said “I DO”.
Trust me, I know I am causing a frenzy at Tiffany’s, Jared’s & Kay’s right now. And yes, I’ve heard it all. While at a gathering yesterday one of my guy friends called his mother while the entire table of women and men ( about 12 of us) were in the midst of this conversation. I think his mother replied with how “she would’ve already had her engagement ring chosen”. lol. Another friend at the table said that there “use to be a time when you could walk into a particular jewelry store, tell her name, and they could point out which ring she had wanted for herself.” So as not to be outdone, I called my mother all the way in Minnesota and put her on the phone. And true to form….she said that I was correct! lol. I mentioned to my mother how at another gathering of the same caliber a female friend told me that she disagreed because “the diamond engagement ring was her dowry”. My mother commented and said, “No, a dowry is traditionally given at the marriage ceremony to seal the contract of marriage.” Side bar: I love My Mom!!! So, I went to research.
Dictionary.com says that a dowry is “a noun, also, dower, the money, goods, or estate that a wife brings to her husband at marriage.” Key word ladies… a WOMAN brings the dowry to the man, not a man to a woman. (Two for me, none for the others.) The initial purpose of the dowry was to help set up the bride in her new marriage so that she would not be a burden to her new husband, as well as compensate the husband for going out of his way to marry. It was more of a business deal than a love match. So, would you really want to still carry on the traditions of a business deal, or would you like to set a tradition that is met on love where when you get a diamond ring, or IF you even get a diamond ring shouldnt really matter? Because if I were a dude, I would be pretty skeptical of a woman who wouldn’t marry me because I gave her a band instead of a diamond. That would flag what kind of woman you are right then and there.
Now, I am not judging anyone, but the actions that women extend and the pressures that they put on a man are ridiculous! I think that the victory is won at the finish line and not mid race. So I am quite okay with waiting until we get to the altar to say I Do before God to receive my ring. But again….this is just my opinion. ANd even though all of the guys that I say this to agree, even the security guards in my office building, I doubt that many women other than my mother will agree with me on this. But it is another way of looking at it. DO you want to be just another female who he gives a diamond ring to, or do you want to be the ONLY woman that he gives a diamond ring to? I choose to be the only one. But again, I did preface this entry by saying that I am far different from others. Yet, when the time comes for him to propose, I would honestly like to forgo the diamond ring for a band and his promise to one day be my husband, just to get to the altar on my wedding day and have him surprise me with a diamond wedding ring. Now THAT is a fairy tale to me.
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Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 