~*2Deep*~

Posts Tagged ‘Yoga’

P90X Journey: Day 18

In P90X Journey on 5 November 2010 at 12:08 pm

 

4 Nov 10

Yes, I know….DAY 18!!!!!!!!!!

Who knew that I could make it this far? I know for damn sure that I didn’t think that I could make it for 18 days straight. I honestly think that I am in for a treat since I am sticking to this. I really don’t think that I have that much of a noticeable physical change…well outter change. Like, yeh O lost some inches but it depends on how I stand, when I measure and yadda yadda yadda. My weight has gone down from 232 to 227.5 and that is good. But I honestly think that I still look the same. I know that I have 12 more days before I take my next pics, but a lot can and cannot happen in 12 days. I am just afraid that I will have done all of this hard work just to get the pics and look the same. Am I expecting to be a size 6 in a month? No, but I am looking for my stomach not to stick out as much as it did before I started.

I wish the internal changes could show. Like, how I actually like working out now, or how I understand the importance of stretching and ab control and am working to be better at it. How jumping jacks with these huge ass breasts don’t give me a black eye and a heart attack like they use to. Or how I consider each workout my own personal challenge that I can accomplish, and when it is complete, I am very proud of myself. This is what I wished showed in my before and After pics.

Well, I didn’t wake up and workout like I thought that I would. I went to bed TOO late after the movie screening and exercise that I really needed to stay my butt in bed for the entire day. I brought my lunch of chicken and broccoli to work…and yummm! I walked to get lunch with my co-worker and it was torture to stand in the buffet doorway and smell all of the wonderful foods that I use to partake in oh so long ago. It was amazing, though, to see the different combinations of food on people’s plates. The slimmer people were piling the salad and vegetables high and cutting the fish filets in half ( I have always wondered who in the hell does that!). While the more Boss Hog crowd was slamming three scoops of Mac & Cheese into containers that were big enough to feed those children on late night TV. I never once saw the Boss Hog crowd find their way to the vegetable table unless to drip dressing over a few chicken wings, and though exaggerated…..its not by much. I had survived the temptation ( with the help of leaving my debit card in the office) and I ate my healthy lunch and drank my water. Around the afternoon I started craving a soda….I fought the urge so hard that it wasnt even funny. My body wanted that beverage BAD!!!! But I wasnt ready to put on empty calories. So I went and got a snickers…..lol.But, I came home, watched When in Rome with one of my personal assistants/mentee and then I dreaded working out. I mean…it hit me that today was Yoga day! Yes, a damn Yoga day!!! I was procrastinating so much that I even played the disc on fast forward for her with my own fat girl commentary as if I were at the Hamburger Olympics! It was soooo hard for me to get up to take her home because I knew I had to workout when I returned.

Once back in the house, I knew that this was going to be the hardest 1.5 hours in my life. I mean really…. did Yoga really have to be this long?  It really was the 1.5 hour time frame that was throwing me off. In the car I had joked that I would turn the radio on in order to make it through….well…thats what I did. I turned on my favorite radio stations, WKYS 93.9 and I jammed out to Daija Perez with my back to the TV as he called out the poses. I was even tempted to tape the TV screen to cover the timer but just didnt look in that direction. There were times when I would glance at the screen but would block the timer corner with my hand just so I could see what move was next. It was not as bad as usual. Knowing the time ACTUALLY messes up my mental capacity to tell myself I can get through it. I have no clue why…. but it does. I made it through the first hour and then…by honest accident….I saw that I only had 34 minutes left. It was then that I was proud of myself.  It really did help to do downward dog to Keri Hilson’s Breaking Point or Warrior Pose to Jazmine Sullivan’s Count to 10. But nothing beats doing Tree to Michael Jackson’s Liberian Girl!!!!!! I was trying to stay still but my neck had to move in a snake-like fashion to feel the groove…and I still kept my balance! lol.  I learned that maybe I am missing out on the quietness of traditional Yoga, but maybe traditional Yoga isn’t for everyone. Maybe people need Country Yoga with Taylor Swift sending subliminal messages to Kanye in the background through twanged out mantras (Yummmmmmm). Or Rap Yoga with Gucci man teaching the class telling everyone to find their inner Buuuuuuuuur! I would prefer R&B/Neo-Soul Yoga…it connects well with my inner balance. Maybe I need to do it to instrumentals to take away the words and focus on the point of traditional Yoga….but this is what works for me to get the exercise done. And it was successful! I made it through the ENTIRE P90X Yoga X video for the first time EVER!!! The only time I stopped was on moves that I could not do; crane and side hold thingy with only one arm and one leg touching the floor.

So, it can be done. I will keep experimenting with this….especially since next week is my first recovery week and I saw Yoga twice….lol. But it felt good to accomplish something that I once hated tremendously and now I just dislike. lol.

SIncerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

P90X Journey: Day 4 (Yoga)

In P90X Journey on 21 October 2010 at 8:21 pm

There are not enough cuss words in the English dictionary for me to express how I feel about this entire session. I was actually excited about working out. I dont do Yoga, I dont like Yoga, yet I was ready to do this workout. THIS SHIT IS BORING AS HELL!!!!

First off, this workout is like an hour and a half!!!!! What happened to the one hour sessions? That messed with my mental stamina to begin with. Then having nothing to face but my breathing and Tony Horton’s voice is like death. I don’t sit still long enough in my room to hear myself think and yet they want me to do it while struggling? I beg to differ dear crackheads of Beach Body!!!!

I made it on and off to about 43 minutes left in the program before I got up and answered a phone call from my homegirl. Just bored. Then I joined back in for the core/balancing exercises and found those familiar. Well I be damn……it was because it wasnt familiar. Wow…. just typed that into realization. But the strange part cam when I just busted into tears in the middle of the half boat. I mean full-out baby bawling. And in the middle I mumbled to myself that I deserve to be able to do this, I want to be able to do this. I think I just had my first fitness breakthrough.

The other workouts keep me moving, keep me motivated and keep me so busy that I don’t really think about me. Yoga showed me my weakness and I dont like it. It hurt my pride and made me face the fact that I am out of shape. That reality sucks butt like Pookie looking for a fix. I think this was just the first of many to come. I will have to force myself on the next Yoga day to push through every position…every pose, every salutation. I just want to succeed at this. I am afraid of failing at Yoga…of all things, YOGA! Fudge your Nomaste! Okay, that was a bit harsh. How about. Nom dat hoe, rang dat hooooooe!

Okay, all jokes aside. This just made me vulnerable. I make a vow that next Yoga day I will do EVERY pose. Even if I have to do the variation or modified version….I will have to bring it. I originally felt that this was a fail….but I got something out of it. I came face to face with both failure and success all in the middle of a workout. The fear of failing at another fitness program and the possibility of succeeding and becoming fit and facing my fears of being just another fit girl. But that is an entirely different blog.

Well, let me get dressed and head out to The Park with my crew….take my mind off of this. I also need food…lol. Thanks for reading. I needed to vent. Better luck tomorrow.

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