C.I.A: Condom In Action

200 Men Said….#2

        Ladies, I know we have all been here, in the moment, heated, just wanting him to shut the hell up with all of his sweet talk and get straight to the reason why you are pinned up against a wall with your clothes wrapped around your body in weird geometric configurations. Yes, there. And sometimes, just sometimes…..all caution goes out the window and you get the party started quickly…but not right. How many of you have fallen for the “baby just let me stick the head in” routine? What has it cost you?

        I have to raise my hand here and confess… yes… I too have been here. I contemplated leaving my personal experience out of this one, but I figured it would hit harder if I put a face to this. Judge me if you want, you dont know my journey, and where I was in not where I am, nor are the decisions I have made in the past those that I will make in the future. Is this an every time I have sex thing? No, but have I had unprotected sex before? Yes. But he is just soooooo fine with his amazing body, his eyes, his voice, his hair, his….yeh..that too….lol! I digress…Even though it was unprotected intercourse with just 2 guys, ten years apart, it doesn’t make it right by any stretch of the imagination. I should have requested that he wrap up. If not for him…for me. I’ve had a guy who I was with have rumors come out that he was HIV positive years later.THANK THE LAWD I USED A CONDOM!!!!!!!!! I’ve had a guy I was dating have his wife hit me up asking why I was in pictures with her husband & the reason he lives in a different house is because she is trying to divorce him after finding letters and receiving calls from his gay lover. THANK THE LAWD I USED A CONDOM!!!!  Yes, no matter how monogamous you THINK you are, you may not be in one in actuality. So I get tested EVERY year whether I have had sex or not. I only have ONE sexual partner a year… if that….the great ones may be repeated the next year..TMI I know..but this is all about growth. And the lesson has been learned ( not saying how recently) that a condom must be used at ALL TIMES!!! Yes, I will fight the urge from here on out….as HARD as it may be, these mistakes can be costly. So, since I know this… I wanted to see what guys thought of a girl who wanted to have sex with them without a condom. I can hear the Bible thumpers now…. if I had just stayed a virgin until I was married…lol. But since I didn’t, these are the experiences that I have had.

        What would my actions in the past say about me? How has my not so smart judgment in the heat of the moment broadcasted about my self-worth, my overall intelligence, and my concern for my health and my partner? Since this is a lesson that I’ve learned, I can talk about it freely. I believe in sharing my journey so that others don’t have to take the same road to get to the same place. So I wanted to let the ladies know, if you are out there having unprotected sex….this is what the men are thinking of you.

200 men were asked:

Most men don’t like to wear condoms, so how safe do you feel with a woman who doesn’t make you wear one if you aren’t in a relationship? Have you ever NOT worn a condom? Why? WHat made it okay?

 

And even though I wish I could post all 200 of their comments, here is what 8% of them said:

1. Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: BOTH sexes don’t like to wear a condom due to the unnatural feel. It just says that she is open to diseases but it’s how easy to get her open that says I am not the only one in a week…No condom?Yes.Natural feel and extend relationship made it okay for me
2.  kingdomgate_ent:  They say condoms are to prevent disease but in all actuality its a form of birth control. I don’t just have casual sex. The only woman I plan on sleeping with is my wife. So this condom question doesn’t apply to me.
3. K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I USE PROTECTION ! A LOT OF THINGS TEND TO HAPPEN IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT! IF YOU BOTH FEEL SAFE GO FOR IT ! IF ITS A SECOND THOUGHT USE PROTECTION! I HAVE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX NOT MANY TIMES BUT IT HAS HAPPENED. I AM THANKFUL TO BE HEALTHY AND SAFE.
4. Willie C: I always wear a condom. I have never not worn one, anytime I have had sex I have always put one on.
5.  Code Name Bigsexy: you gotta wear 1.a woman who doesn’t make you wear 1 probably doesn’t make other men wear 1. STRAPPPPPPPPP UP!!!!!!
7. James F: i don’t feel safe at all..and she’s not gonna make me do anything..I don’t want kids so i wear a condom..relationship or no relationship
8. Vincent: I don’t. I’m very cautious since I trusted a female when I was 15 and then she told me she was pregnant. The women I’ve been in relationships with normally get angry at me because they want me to take it off but it’s a trust thing.
9. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Not safe at all. I have not worn one. I was in a relationship…. but I still should have worn one. That didn’t make it ok
10. H. Xavier: I don’t feel safe ,back in the nineties i hated condoms ,but now they’re ur best friend,yes i have not worn a condom before ,with a friend who we were mutually not seein anyone else at the time,but it wasnt ok! u learn from ur mistakes !
11. Sybree B: Well i am one of those men that don’t like to wear condoms ,but I also don’t have sex with any woman,cause there’s to many diseases out here and i love myself too much to kill myself.
12.  big slim: I don’t feel safe when a woman wants too lay down with me without a condom. I just have to fall all the way back…
13. Black Kryptonite aka the KID: True, most men don’t prefer to wear condoms. However, I have worn a condom and still made a child. My stance is I wear them until we discuss not wearing them or we are in a monogamous relationship and decide not to wear them.
14. Jay: I love condoms like fat kids love cake. The only person I would ever have sex with without a condom would be my significant other. I never had sex with a woman that I didn’t know without wearing a condom. I love sex soooooooo much, but not that much.
15. James L: I prefer to be in a relationship before sex is involved. Therefore, condoms will not be necessary for us unless it has been agreed upon! No relationship, no sex, no condom!
16.  ……. :I can’t speak on everybody else,but i have to wear a condom.
17.  Bryan P: i don’t like wearin um who does….but [I] have to trust u in order not to wear it cuz i like my bestfriend… lol and don’t want it to have bumps on ’em… and yes ive [gone]raw … i knew the person
18.  IM ON MINE GROWN MAN!!!!!: Well I don’t like to use condoms cuz I can’t feel the wetness n the juicy
19. ”DUKE” BANNER: MOST PEOPLE THAT DONT WEAR THEM SAY THEY GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE EMOTION. I HAVE TO REMEMBER THE OLD SAYING, “BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY ” IF I DONT WEAR ONE WITH YOU I [DON’T] KNOW YOU BOTTOM LINE
20.  ! A WORK IN PROGRESS !: i always wear one. and if she doesn’t i getta steppin cause something is not rite
21. Lateef25: yeah when i had sex [w/o a condom] with her more than 8 times and I knew she wasnt having sex with anyone else but it was still unsafe
22.  Hossein M: Well I have to agree with you saying men don’t like condoms because I don’t, but I am better safe than sorry and I leave no room for discussion when it comes to unsafe sex outside a relationship.
23. Anthony W: I never had sex without a condom.
24.  Positiveibes: I’ve only gone w/o with women that i had long-term relationships even that made me nervous. it’s not even about H.I.V. for me i protect myself b/c I don’t want K.I.D. w/ someone that’s not my wife.

My favorite comment happened to have come from :

1.  Trayvon S {Men Of Respect}: that is correct, most men don’t like wearing condoms. But if you are with a woman who doesn’t make you or suggests that you wear one, dont do it. Yes, i have not worn a condom with a woman i just met but i made sure that she hadn’t slept around

 

        He said that he has slept with a woman who he just met and didn’t use a condom, but “he made sure she hadn’t slept around.” If I had enough time to ask I would wonder, how did he make sure she hadn’t slept around? It isn’t that easy to tell with women. WOmen can sleep with 5 guys in a day and no one will ever be the wiser but her. So how does one know for sure how many people their partner has slept with other than taking their word for it? And since guys don’t want to know how many men their girl has been with prior to them, this too can close down the streets of communication about sexual history and the practices of the person that you are trusting your body with. Trust me, I have gone and gotten tested with a guy just to find out months later that he slept with his ex-girl a week before we got tested and that made our test void because he was not out of his window period with her. Do you know how SCARY that is to know that you did everything YOU were suppose to do to only find out that the other person has lied to you and put you at risk?  These are the lessons that I have learned and thankfully have remained HIV NEGATIVE after all of this foolishness.  We’ve got to do better.  ALL OF US.

 

        So you see, the consensus is that you should ALWAYS wear a condom. Even those who said that they have to know you, and be in a long relationship with you….they should wear a condom too. You never know a person until you say “I DO” and even then there are some activities and reports of spouses catching diseases. SO just play it safe. Wrap it up at all times. And if this person happens to be the one you marry… have a free-ballin event! But I just wanted to bring this discussion to the fore front and get everyone talking about it. You can post a comment anonymously if you would like. Use the email 2deepuncensored@gmail.com and leave a comment. Make up a name and comment. We need to get this discussion going. So, lets wrap it up! or become celebate like me! Hell….its been so long… I’m afraid to cross my legs b/c I might spark a fire, but at least I know I am K.I.D free and H.I.V/AIDS free, ya dig!

 

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~