So, yesterday I went to church. I was a good little Christian sitting in the balcony at 8am service waiting to hear a wonderful word. I received many, but one train of thought from the visiting Pastor rubbed me the wrong way. And I wasn’t alone.
After service a friend and I went to Busboys and Poets for brunch when we both spoke on our mixed feelings about the comment. The Pastor said, “If a woman can guard her man’s heart then no other woman can have him.” He also went on to discuss how many religions think that the rib from which woman was made is the very rib that once covered Adam’s heart. That sounds all well and good BUT…you mean to tell me that if I do everything that is required of me to guard and protect my man’s heart then he will stand beside me through thick and thin? Really?
With me having just broken off a situation…let me analyze this. You mean to tell me that my continuously supporting this dude through thick and thin, sitting in the cold for 3 hours while he played basketball because he wanted me to watch him play… hell I paid for the basketball they were playing with, checked on him from time to time, spent time with him when I could, complimented him, and encouraging him to continue his studies so he could graduate in December should have been almost, if not enough, what he should need in order to feel as if his heart was protected? Or what about me curbing my appetite to become the stereotypical angry black woman when he started bugging out and by staying calm and respectively telling him that I was upset, directly stating what I needed, offering him numerous times to correct the mistake just to have him screw me over again, was the proper way to “guard his heart”? If so, then why are we no longer together?
Much like my friend, I had several gripes with this pastor’s way of thinking. For starters, he was making a generalized statement. All males are not mature enough to know when they have a good woman before them who is willing to help and support them through thick and thin. They tend to take those kinds of women for granted, and manage to fall in love with the badly bruised and damaged woman who treats them like shit and manages to quite those actions as the type of women they hate while claiming that there are no good women left. I suggest they lift up there feet and check the soles for the string of good women who he managed to step on through his immature phase. Also, he didn’t flip the story and tell women what they will get out of the process. You mean to tell me that I have to do all of this for my man and he wont go anywhere….but what will he do while he is there to keep me. Isn’t a man supposed to protect? Why was this left out of the message? Women are always taught how to be there for their men but seldom do I ever here a good message about how a man needs to be there for his woman. Quiet as it was kept, Mary was almost a single mother because David didn’t want to be a fool…but that is another story.
In short, each man is different, and every man will respond to a good woman in completely different ways. No matter how hard a woman will guard her man’s heart it is up to him whether or not he is ready for such attention, whether he deserves that kind of attention, and if this is the kind/type/size of woman he wants that kind of attention from. In most cases, not all, dudes receive that kind of dedication and love from his woman and he thinks that she is trying to tie him down and he runs. What is a girl to do?
Well, since I am a descendent of Adam’s cracked rib, I have to tell you that we received something broken and we keep getting the message that we need to fix it, guard it, protect it , love it and support it, but when we do the males often times tell us that we are too independent and that they don’t need us to do anything for them. So, do I go by the Bible or do I go by these misled males out here who I really don’t think that they know what they want themselves? This could go for women as well…. But you all didn’t receive one of our ovaries…so you can’t talk about us in the same manner. With us Biblically having a piece of man in us, shouldn’t we inherit some of his qualities? Shouldn’t I be able to be bold and independent? Shouldn’t I be able to guard his heart in the same fashion that he is meant to guard mine?
If I could write a letter to Adam, I would tell him that it is okay to have a woman support you. With Eve being such a picky specimen in the first place….for her to have chosen you should be considered an honor. We don’t like everyone, we don’t offer our hearts to just anyone, never have and never will….and if you want to stop seeing bitter and damaged women….stop extending us just your cracked rib.
I don’t know if any of this made sense…. But I just had to get it off my chest while I was thinking of it.
Sincerely,
*~My Mother’s Daughter*~
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 