In short, Kim has to be induced. On to the next story.
I did not know that Cynthia and Russell Simmons used to date back in the day. Who knew. Small world. Lol. But it is even funnier that Peter says that Cynthia cant wear that perfume around Russell. Lol.
Sharee meets up with her mother to show her the plot of land that she is building her house. Now rumor has it that this is the land that belongs to her mother. Hmmmm. Sharee is talking to her mother about her situation with Bob. Her mother says that she never spoke badly about Sharee’s father but she did take him to child support. And then they go into the sob story about the Speak & Spell toy that Sharee never got with her father. Read the rest of this entry »
I have been busy with my business. My book is finally available ( Buy it HERE). But I am catching up.
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #FakeWivesofATL
I want to o to Kandi’s store the next time I am in the ATL. In short, that means I need to go to the gym. Lol.
I love Phaedra’s cake dish. That is soooo cute. I love pink and brown together. I also think that it is a good thin that Phaedra has apologized to Kandi for bringing ReDickulous. But who knew that Phaedra was such a freak? Bwhahahahaha. And Kandi asked if Phaedra was limber enough to please herself, would she. Phaedra said that she would never go to work. Lol. I think a ton of people would say the same thing.
I also agree with Kandi how it was weird that NeNe left. NeNe was a stripper?!!!!! What the hell. Who paid to see that? BWHAHAHAHA! Phaedra said that NeNe needs to stop because she has shown her cervix for a quarter. Lol. That is my fav comment of the night. Lol. Read the rest of this entry »
Okay, who’s house is being torn down and why in the hell is Sheree turning up to a construction site in Manolos Blahniks? And did she really just call this Chateau Sheree? And did I hear a skating rink, gym, spa/salon….foolishness? Really? I guess that I just need this king of money to understand needing a skating rink in my own house. The gym I understand…but wow! And she doesnt read but wants a library….when she cant pronounce library. SMMFH
Awww, Ayden is so cute!!! I love how great a dad Apollo is. He is making Ayden pay attention to the rules and learns discipline. I LOVE THAT!!! Wait, Apollo got stopped by the police a week ago and beaten by the police. And when Phaedra called to find out what happened, Apollo lied until he figured out what was going on. But….I still don’t get why the cop had him on the ground with a gun to his head. Oooooh, it was a case of mistaken identity. Wow!!!! Apollo said, “I cant fight society and then come in my house and fight you too.” That was deep. I completely understand. Read the rest of this entry »
So they are headed to Miami Beach…again. Remember the fiasco that was last year. Lol. So NeNe invited Kandi, and Cynthia on this trip with her. I swear, if NeNe says “Hi Haters” one more time, I will punch her in her sagging breast implants. Lol.
I love how Kandi said that she hopes her trip with NeNe goes well. She said that she has just began hanging out with NeNe and her history of flipping out on people is not cool. I too hope that they get along. Just like their talk of getting each other a man is hilarious.
Kim and this damn dog is a trip. I feel sorry for the dog. Lol. And why are we listening to KIM PEE!!!!!!? I swear this is horrible. Wow! Kroy told sweetie to help play with her surprise birthday party and to : leave the rest of the idiots out of it”. Wait…. Kroy is 25 and Kim is 33. Why does Sweetie have this much makeup on while sitting in the house? I don’t get why dudes like females that spend so much of their hard-earned money. Makes no sense to me. Read the rest of this entry »
I honestly have fallen behind on this. Meaning, I didn’t even know that it was coming back on. But now that I know… I feel obligated to follow the foolishness. You better enjoy it. Lol
Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #FakeWivesofATL
I find it hilarious how all of these shows that have “wives” in the title are full of unmarried women. Lol.
I love how the movers were worried Kim was going to drop this baby in their presence. Lol. So Kim is walking around with Kroy at the storage place to move it into their new house. As a defensive end for the Atlanta Falcons…..WHY WOULD HE DATE HER? I findi t so hard to believe she loves him for him and not just for his body and the fact that he makes money and wants to be with her. But I do, however, like Kroy’s personality. His honesty is hilariously charming. Lol. I love it when he said “ My ring will mean something.”
Why in the hell is Bryson looking like a thugged out pimp. Lol. So she is coming to get a car for him. I mean, he has yet to step up and be a man…. So why would you buy a car for him? I wouldn’t do it. My son would be walking. Wait, NeNe dated the car dealer in high school and now she is thinking that he may knock a few dollars off the price tag. Did she say that she doesn’t want him to get an Impala because it looks ghetto and only people who have their pants hanging down would drive them. Read the rest of this entry »
Bitter bitches around the world could be heard slamming keypads to a point of no return as they Googled, Rhapsody searched, and iTunes bought Marsha Ambrosius’ ” I Hope She Cheats on You” from her album Late Nights and Early Mornings. Beyoncé’s “Put a Ring On It” deemed archaic…. I mean who wants that motherfucker now? NOT I!!! No, this song became the 2010 anthem as women purchased court side seats for their men as they pointed out just how nice Dwayne Wade’s ass looks in the middle of a lay-up. Comments of “I wonder if LeBron can take it to the hole for real” taunt him during half time. Yes, bitches!!! THIS IS WHY WE WATCH BASKETBALL!!!! Sports Center will never be the same. *Duh-nuh-nuh, Duh-nuh-nuh! lmao!
I can see it now, Half-Time show brought to you by Bitter Bitches of America and sponsored by Midol. Performance by Marsha Ambrosius. All you hear are the snaps to the intro and out come these hooded figures snapping into formation, reminiscent of the Egyptian dancers in MJ’s Remember the Time. No one’s face is seen but Marsha as the formation is made behind her as she stands center court under a sole spotlight. All you can hear through the arena is:
Verse 1: Ew whew ew whew oh oh I hope she cheat on you wit’ a basketball playa. Hope that she Kim Kardashian’ed her way up. Don’t know the difference ‘tween a touchdown and a layup. Got you on Viagra in order for you to stay up.
Pre-chorus: I may sound bitter, I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter because you were wit’ her. I’m Salt Lake City, now I’m up on out the picture. Remember how it was when I was wit’ cha baby? [Cues for mysterious dancers to drop their hoods]
Sex so good, do you remember oh baby? Sex so good do you remember oh?
CROWD GOES WILD!!!! Hoods are flipped back and Shaunie O’Neal can be seen leading Royce’s choreography! Yes, that’s right people…the entire cast of Basketball Jump-offs, I mean Wives, are center court, booty popping to their new ceremonial anthem! Being careful not to slip on their own tears, glass of water, wine or beverage of choice that has been thrown Evelyn-syle as a symbolic statement of I HATE YOU BITCH, TRY ME. They are in perfect harmony as the chorus breaks out amongst the arena speakers.
Chorus: Well look at how it all turned out now. I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa. Look at how it all turned out now. I hope you feeling lonely baby now we’re not together. Look at how it all turned out now. I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa. Look at how it all turned out now. Ew now that I’m without cha.
Aw shit! Just when you couldn’t get enough of Gloria’s “That’s What’s Up” wrist twists and Jennifer’s forehead…not to be outdone, on runs the cast of The Game to show these bitches how it is really done! Go Tasha! It’s ya Birthday! Call Pookie! Go Pow, Pow! Go Janay, It’s Ya baby’s Daddy! Work It Med School! Work it! Work it! Get Low Kelly, like your bank funds! lmao Yes, Jazz choreographed this portion of the great display of bitter bitches! DO THE TSUNAMI!!!!
Verse 2: I hope she cheat on you wit an NFL baller. She ignores you every single time you call her. Brand new Louis, gotta have it spend your money on her. When you wanna hit it she actin’ like she don’t wanna.
Pre-chorus: I may sound bitter, I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter because you were wit’ her. I’m Salt Lake City, now I’m up on out the picture. Remember how it was when I was wit’ cha baby? Sex so good, do you remember oh baby? Sex so good do you remember oh? (Baby)
Then they all join together as if Disney knew that this would be a musical. The cast from Glee! just itching in their seats to get up and join in a higher octave; judgment spewing from their eyes as if to say “Sit down , bitches, and let the professionals do it.” But it has already continued without them. This is Annette Funicello meets Lena Horne in Baldwin Hills directed by Tyler Perry. It is classic SNL Tom foolery in the key of broken-hearted! ENTERTAINMENT PEOPLE!!!! And a 5, 6, 7, 8,…..
Chorus: Well look at how it all turned out now. I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa.
Look at how it all turned out now. Hope you feeling lonely baby now we’re not together. Look at how it all turned out now. I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa. Look at how it all turned out now. Ew now that I’m without cha.
And true to Chorus Line form, they each take turns accenting a line from the hook as banners of who did them wrong are dropped from the arena ceiling along with Kim Kardashian’s pic just because the bitch made the song hot. And no one argues about her placement in the song because its true. And she could care less as long as the check clears! With a 1 and a 2 and…..
Hook: She cute and all, but that won’t last forever. What I had for you was so much better. Yeah the grass ain’t greener on the other side of town. Now look at how it all turned out now. I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter. But I’m doing better, ’cause we ain’t together. You sorry excuse for somebody I was into. Remember what it was when I was wit’ you?
Chorus: Look at how it all turned out now. I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa. Look at how it all turned out now. Hope you feeling lonely baby now we’re not together. Look at how it all turned out now. I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa. (so sad cheated on you wit’ a basketball playa) Look at how it all turned out now. Now that I’m without cha baby.
And for the closing finale, their children run out on the court doing the stanky leg while their divorce lawyers throw business cards into the crowd via the t-shirt shooter. They all start to do the dramatic , yet sexy slow walk with finger snaps off the court as Marsha ad libs. And just as they hit the exit, you can see Juanita Jordan giving high fives to the women as they head back to the dressing room where security can protect them from their exes……lmao. NeNe Leaks can be seen trying to get an interview from the sidelines.
Ad-libs: Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) heeeeyyyy yeah (x2) Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) saaaannnnggg yeah Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) Sing (I hope she cheat on you) I hope she cheat on you wit’ a basketball playa yeah. Hope you feelin’ lonely now we’re not together baby. Said I hope she cheat on you baby.
Yes….. this is how I envision it. This is how my head works. Dont judge me… you’re just mad because you didn’t think of it first! But serioiusly…. I am so glad that Marsha is back…and boy did she come back with a bang! You better believe that I am going to come back and review Far Away! This diva has us all wishing evil on our exes and his new girl…lol. But done so with a powerful voice that demands you pay attention and listen. Job well done, diva… I have NOTHING bad to say about this song.
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 