From the worst of America’s landfills to the Valentines Day Massacre, when walking into a women’s public restroom….you NEVER know what you will find next. I promise you that nothing ceases to amaze me at just how nasty these women can be.
Yes, we have couches, full length mirrors, hand lotions, and the like…but I think that I’ve discovered their intended uses. The couch is to catch you when you faint from the multitude of stenches that emanate from under the stall doors and pimp slap your nostrils and destroy your comprehension of feminine. The full length mirrors are for the culprits to get a full scan of themselves before leaving the restroom and entering back into the population so that they may blend in effortlessly. And the lotion is for decoration. It just baffles me at what occurs in female restrooms.
Guys, we ladies go to the restroom in groups for several reasons. We may need someone to hold the door in place because the lock doesn’t work and we don’t want our goods and the use of our goods on display to anyone who walks into the restroom. You may need someone to run and get tissue from the stall next to you because your stall is ill stocked. We need a double set of eyes to help view us before entering the public once more because of the sea of debauchery we have just encountered. And lastly, misery loves company.
I work in a government office and when I tell you all the things that go on in here ….*inahle…exhale*….it makes you wonder how in the world could they run the country if they can’t even properly run water over their hands to wash them completely. There are SES, colonels, majors, and highly paid government officials that visit this restroom on the floor in my building and you would think that I was in a high school bathroom rather than a federally secure building. The paper seat covers are there intentionally and for some reason these women think that the covers are optional. They walk right past them and plop their happy behinds directly on the seats that hundreds of other women before then have used. This makes me want to gag at the fact that even they don’t think that their Va-jay-jays hold much value. SMH.
I’ve walked into a stall after someone else and almost had a heart attack. Once the floor was wet as if a 5-year-old boy was learning to aim and failed miserably, rather than the 40-year-old woman who just exited. I was tempted to do an Adam’s apple check but didn’t want to mess with anyone’s civil rights. And need I mention the several times these nasty females refuse…I mean BLATANTLY refuse…. to flush the toilet after using it. As if it is going to flush itself. I don’t need to know what you ate for lunch or that you need more water in your diet. WOMAN, THAT IS JUST NASTY!!! The seats never get wiped off for the woman who chose to forgo the aforementioned seat covers and squat over the seat, aiming horribly and spraying the entire seat and refusing to wipe it upon leaving. And the greatest offender is the woman who chooses to do #2 in the FIRST STALL!!! That goes against all rules known to man. You are never supposed to get that comfortable in the first stall… you do that in the last stall furthest from the door so no one is subjected to the inner workings of your colon! I need to write a book on this.. because these women kill me.
But nothing kills me more than the continuous culprits who refuse to wash their hands. I once went to the restroom at a restaurant and a waitress came in after me, walks into a stall, doesn’t use it, comes out to fix her hair in the mirror, and leaves back out. I guess the look on my face attacked her conscience because she waited for me outside of the door to plead her case. She says, “I know you didn’t see me wash my hands, but I didn’t use the bathroom I was just changing my shirt (because they can’t have writing on their shirts).” I proceeded to tell her that she still went into the restroom where germs live and she should wash her hands regardless. She returned and washed her hands, rather too swiftly for me ,and says in passing, “You’re right, I did it.” There was also the woman who use to work in my office who once, when there were three females from my office in the restroom with her , chose to do #2, didn’t flush, and walked right out of the bathroom. We almost got sick together. She was the office baker, she loved to bake for people’s birthdays, etc. After that day, I promise you, we never ate a single thing she ever brought into this office unless it was store-bought and one of us opened it before her. Yet nothing will ever top the other woman in the office next to me who times her peeing perfectly to flush before you and damn near runs out of the bathroom so you can’t see that it was her who didnt wash her hands. And should you come out the same time as her…she literally turns the water on, counts to two, waves one hand under the water without soap, turns it off, grabs a towel to dry the one hand, and walks out of the door as if she successfully washed the bacteria off of her hands. What gets me is that these women who dodge you from catching them being nasty in fact KNOW they are being nasty and yet still go about with the same trifling behaviors. Why?!!!!!
I speak with the cleaning ladies who have to clean up after these women daily and I feel so sad from them. If I were in fact that nasty at home, I would be too ashamed to do it in public. I would be on my best behaviors for the 8 hours I was at work and then save it for when I went home. I would even take into consideration the people who would have to clean up after me and decide to clean up after myself. But then again…. this is me.
So fellas, before your girlfriend walks back to the table and feeds you food with her hands or puts her finger in your mouth flirtaciously…. check her hand to see if it smells like girly soap. Seriously!!! She could be telling you to kiss her ass via her hand. lmbo! And this is even at home after she comes back from the bathroom in the morning. You all could be harboring nasty women and not even know it because they look so dainty in front of you. I know because these nasty women in my office are married!!!! Those of us who wash our hands always apply lotion so that our hands wont get dry or appear ashy. SO smell her hand for soap or flowery fragrances. Hell.. even feel her hands because freshly wet hands are softer due to them having just absorbed moisture. I AM SO SERIOUS!!! Tell her that you think the smell of soap or lotion is mega sexy.. maybe this will prompt the nasty trick into washing her hands because she’ll never know when the next impromptu hand check will occur.
And no apologies if you just read this and found it gross… this topic must be spoken about. Do you know that if I posted anything on the walls of our restrooms begging women to have better hygiene I could be fired for inappropriate/aggressive behavior, but these nasty women have the right to pass germs around the office, on elevator buttons, and door handles!!!!! That’s just wrong. So until I get more rights to protect my immune system, I’ll just continue to fake like I am on my cell phone talking to a friend as I LOUDLY complain about how nasty these trifling women are while standing next to a culprit at the bathroom sink. lol. Wash your hands tricks!!!
Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 