~*2Deep*~

Posts Tagged ‘infedelity’

200 Men Said…. Get Tested

In 200 Men Said.... on 4 April 2011 at 12:02 am

        First, before you read this, read my blog from last Monday~> Writer’s Block: Tsion the Wordsmith~Miss Valentine .

        As a female who lives in the AIDS/HIV Capital of the U.S.A,Washington, D.C.,  I am sooooooo big on this topic that you wouldn’t even believe the efforts that I go through to make sure that women understand what they are putting their bodies up for when having sex. I have to be up front ladies… the condom is NOT the man’s responsibility….alone. You, too, need to have two of each size condom ( just in case he should come up short) and you should also have dental dam. If the phrase “dental dam” just made you tilt your head Scooby style, then honey, you need to STOP having sex immediately because you are missing very important elements of sex education and sex preparation.

       Yes, I am grown enough to know that everyone is not safe all of the time. Now that we all have admitted to it, what do we plan to do about it? Ladies, how do you plan to protect yourself? As a woman, there have been times when I have gone and gotten tested and found out that my guy had sex with an ex the day I got tested which voided the results he showed me. Or the guy’s wife ( who lived in another state) saw pics of us on Myspace and wanted to know what i was doing with her husband….and I didn’t even know he was married…did I mentioned she lived in another state?! Or being with a guy who reveals that he use to like men. I don’t judge him… but this is information you need to tell me BEFORE we head down this road. So you see, preparing yourself with knowledge about your partner is just as important as if you put a condom in your purse or wallet. You need BOTH to be safe in the game of sex. Nothing is guaranteed. NOTHING!

        Using a condom but having oral sex without a dental damn makes about as much sense as you getting gas and pulling off with the tank wide the fuck open. Yes, I’m being a hypocrite…but, as a reformed hypocrite I have seen the errors of my ways and I wanted to step forth and be brave enough to talk about it. So yes, I get tested before EVERY guy I am with. Yes, I only have ONE sexual partner in a 12 month period….NO EXCEPTIONS! This is what I do, but even this is not enough if I don’t know the status of my partner. I need solid proof, like seeing his results or going to get tested with him. So, this is why I am celibate and have been for quite some time. I might set a fire if I cross my legs, but at least I am healthy.  HIV NEGATIVE!!!!!!

So, I asked my 200 men the following question: 

HIV/AIDS is high in certain communities. How often do you get tested? Have you ever gotten tested BEFORE sex with a person? DO you do the mouth swab or blood test?

And they came back with the following answers.

  • Prestige “The One And Only”: Every three months, blood test.
  • Allen Ozark: Yup Tested. Nope, not positive. in fact i have NEVER had any kind of STD … EVER! and i never will! I understand the whole aids / std epidemic, but i just don’t understand the whole aids / std epidemic. a true gentlemen never infects others.
  • Lateef25: Every six months
  • *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I get tested often, but it’s a requirement with my job to get tested every year. They have always taken my blood. I would not have unprotected sex without knowing the other person’s status.
  • Aries Brotha: At least one a year. Yes. And it’s a rather moot right now as i’ve decided to reframe from having sex. Just dating.
  • Kip S: I get tested every year. Yes, I’ve gotten tested before and after sex, typically blood test.
  • RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]: well i only have one partner at a time. I don’t sleep around but i get tested every six months
  • K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I HAVE BEEN TESTED. AIDS FREE. I USE THE SWAB AND I HAVE HAD MY BLOOD TESTED. MOST RECENT TEST WAS LAST YEAR!! JUNE. IMMMM SAFE!!!!! SO LETS GET IT INNN!! LOL
  • ”DUKE” BANNER: YES I ALWAYS GO TO THE DOCTOR EVERY SIX MONTHS. I HAVE RA AND I GO TO MY CARDIOLOGIST I WAS POISON HAD GOT REAL SICK

And then ladies, you have men who respond like this:

  • Pete E.: not in my community

       Yes, he did say that AIDS does not exist in his community. I hit him up and pressed further. He said that no one where he lives has AIDS or HIV and he would know so this doesn’t concern him. I tried to press further but he just wanted to holla at me. Did he really think that he could get my number after a response like that? SIKE!

        And you know that now and then you will run into the religious aspect of a question like this. But trust me when I tell you, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for this particular religious spin on getting tested for HIV/AIDS:

  • www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Never got tested nor will I ever! If God is for me who can be against me? Aids is a curse and Jesus already took that to the cross. I just do my part by not putting myself in the judgement seat by sleeping with every woman in site.
  • Me: Hello, I thank you for answering my question about getting tested for HIV/AIDS. Your response is very admirable. I just have to ask one question and I hope that you can answer it to help me better understand your response. You said that you have never gotten tested and nor will you ever. SO my questions are: 1. Do you know that in some states, to get married, you are required to take an AIDS test? 2. Are you a virgin or have you ever had sex before? And it was interesting to listen to the song that is on your page as I write this note. Arise-Cherry Pie. Have a blessed evening.
  • www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: Im not worried about that. Yes I have had sex before,but aids is the last of my concern.
  • Me: Did you use protection when you did have sex before? Sorry to be personal, I just agree with your original comment on some levels and am bothered by them as a woman on another. So, I am just seeking clarification.
  • www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent:The difference is I am focused on Jesus and you want to focus on aids, aids is a judgement but people in the Christian world get healed from it everyday. I don’t worry about sickness because I’m not going out sleeping with everyone,or anybody for that matter my past is my past I don’t go digging into it. If there is a church that’s gonna be raptured up who is worried about disease? Jesus nailed disease, sickness, and misery  to the cross for everyone,everybody just doesn’t have the same measure of faith. When you don’t tap into faith you don’t know what you truly have access to in Jesus Christ. 
  • Me: Okay, so… I agree with you on some of it. So are you saying that you are refraining from sex until you get married? And you currently do not know your HIV/AIDS status because you are covered in the favor of God?
  • www. twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: I’m covered by the blood of Jesus therefore I do know that I don’t have aids,this is not what I think it’s what I know.

        Ummmmm…I am sitting here trying to wipe my face clean but I can’t. He did give me permission to post hit Twitter link, so I did get that clearance. Again, I do understand being covered in the blood of the lamb. But you can NOT make me believe that I can walk outside of God’s kingdom to fornicate and then come back in to behave holier than thou and claim the blood in retrospect. Aint no way! You cant expect to be of the world and be covered by that which is not of that world.  It doesn’t and will NEVER work that way.

        If you behave in the world, you must abide by the rules and laws of that world. Therefore, do not be so afraid to get tested that you run behind the amour of God. I have faith in God to know that I will walk into the testing facility, get tested and be HIV Negative. THAT is how much faith I have. But I am also wise enough to know that if I keep testing God’s patience with my worldly activities that He can use HIV/AIDS to the betterment of His kingdom. So I am not immuned if I dabble in the world while engulfed in lust.  It is all or nothing!

        So ladies, even the religious dudes can get you hemmed up with something you can’t get rid of. So somewhere between you breaking the headboard and singing in the choir on Sunday, BOTH of you need to get tested. I am not judging you for the contradiction, but I am advising you to not continue the contradiction and hide behind faith. It isn’t wise. Protect yourself.

        I’ll never forget sitting at the McDonalds on Alabama Ave SE, D.C. with a coworker when a guy walks up and says, “Hi, my name is Michael. I’m HIV Negative, no kids, own place, and I drive” as he proceeds to pull out his HIV Negative Test results. I COULD HAVE DIED!!!  It was hilarious because it was random, but how scary is it that seeing a man with his HIV Negative results was sexy as shit! Have we reached this point? Soon will we need to have hand-held scanners like the BBM coder to see if the person you are talking to was Negative? I hope not, but stuff like this only happens to me. I swear.  People… You are NOT Magic. You don’t have his money, nor his insurance. WRAP IT UP! GET TESTED! KNOW YOUR STATUS! GET TESTED TOGETHER!!!! Protect yourself first. And anyone who makes a stink about it… tell them to go dry hump cement.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ Game Over

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 30 March 2011 at 1:57 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

Episode 11: Baby, Baby Please

 

        Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.

     I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*.  But…..on to the Finale.

        Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.

        Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!

       Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?!  But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.

        Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol

        WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.

        Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff.  Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back  next season and fix it.

        SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me.  WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.

        Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.

Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~Baby, Baby Please

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 23 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Episode 10: The Redemption

        Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.

        Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.

       Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.

       Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.

         Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.

           Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.

       NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!

       Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*

       LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass!  I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.

       Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is  calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.

       NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch.  It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ The Redemption

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 16 March 2011 at 12:02 am

 

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

Episode 9: What The Hell Happened?

Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.

        Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.

So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!

        Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea).  And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!

        AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao!  I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.

Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.

        And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick?  Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.

Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.

        DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed  Malik’s magic stick.

        Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.

        AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.

WTF?!!!A Commercial?

         Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!

         MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!

         So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.

         Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week.  And scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Lyrically Speaking~ Marsha Ambrosius: I Hope She Cheats on You

In Lyrically Speaking on 14 March 2011 at 12:22 am

        Bitter bitches around the world could be heard slamming keypads to a point of no return as they Googled, Rhapsody searched, and iTunes bought Marsha Ambrosius’ ” I Hope She Cheats on You” from her album Late Nights and Early Mornings. Beyoncé’s “Put a Ring On It” deemed archaic…. I mean who wants that motherfucker now? NOT I!!! No, this song became the 2010 anthem as women purchased court side seats for their men as they pointed out just how nice Dwayne Wade’s ass looks in the middle of a lay-up.  Comments of  “I wonder if LeBron can take it to the hole for real” taunt him during half time. Yes, bitches!!! THIS IS WHY WE WATCH BASKETBALL!!!! Sports Center will never be the same. *Duh-nuh-nuh, Duh-nuh-nuh! lmao!

        I can see it now, Half-Time show brought to you by Bitter Bitches of America and sponsored by Midol. Performance by Marsha Ambrosius. All you hear are the snaps to the intro and out come these hooded figures snapping into formation, reminiscent of the Egyptian dancers in MJ’s Remember the Time. No one’s face is seen but Marsha as the formation is made behind her as she stands center court under a sole spotlight. All you can hear through the arena is:

Verse 1:
Ew whew ew whew oh oh
I hope she cheat on you wit’ a basketball playa.
Hope that she Kim Kardashian’ed her way up.
Don’t know the difference ‘tween a touchdown and a layup.
Got you on Viagra in order for you to stay up.

Pre-chorus:
I may sound bitter, I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter because you were wit’ her.
I’m Salt Lake City, now I’m up on out the picture.
Remember how it was when I was wit’ cha baby?
[Cues for mysterious dancers to drop their hoods]

Sex so good, do you remember oh baby? Sex so good do you remember oh?

        CROWD GOES WILD!!!!  Hoods are flipped back and Shaunie O’Neal can be seen leading Royce’s choreography! Yes, that’s right people…the entire cast of Basketball Jump-offs, I mean Wives, are center court, booty popping to their new ceremonial anthem! Being careful not to slip on their own tears, glass of water, wine or beverage of choice that has been thrown Evelyn-syle as a symbolic statement of I HATE YOU BITCH, TRY ME. They are in perfect harmony  as the chorus breaks out amongst the arena speakers.

Chorus:
Well look at how it all turned out now.
I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa.
Look at how it all turned out now.
I hope you feeling lonely baby now we’re not together.
Look at how it all turned out now.
I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa.
Look at how it all turned out now.
Ew now that I’m without cha.

        Aw shit! Just when you couldn’t get enough of Gloria’s “That’s What’s Up” wrist twists and Jennifer’s forehead…not to be outdone, on runs the cast of The Game to show these bitches how it is really done! Go Tasha! It’s ya Birthday! Call Pookie! Go Pow, Pow! Go Janay, It’s Ya baby’s Daddy! Work It Med School! Work it! Work it! Get Low Kelly, like your bank funds! lmao Yes, Jazz choreographed this portion of the great display of bitter bitches! DO THE TSUNAMI!!!!

Verse 2:
I hope she cheat on you wit an NFL baller.
She ignores you every single time you call her.
Brand new Louis, gotta have it spend your money on her.
When you wanna hit it she actin’ like she don’t wanna.

Pre-chorus:
I may sound bitter, I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter because you were wit’ her.
I’m Salt Lake City, now I’m up on out the picture.
Remember how it was when I was wit’ cha baby?
Sex so good, do you remember oh baby? Sex so good do you remember oh? (Baby)

 

        Then they all join together as if Disney knew that this would be a musical. The cast from Glee! just itching in their seats to get up and join in a higher octave; judgment spewing from their eyes as if to say “Sit down , bitches, and let the professionals do it.” But it has already continued without them. This is Annette Funicello meets Lena Horne in Baldwin Hills directed by Tyler Perry. It is classic SNL Tom foolery in the key of broken-hearted! ENTERTAINMENT PEOPLE!!!! And a 5, 6, 7, 8,…..

Chorus:
Well look at how it all turned out now.
I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa.

Look at how it all turned out now.
Hope you feeling lonely baby now we’re not together.
Look at how it all turned out now.
I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa.
Look at how it all turned out now.
Ew now that I’m without cha.

 

        And true to Chorus Line form, they each take turns accenting a line from the hook as banners of who did them wrong are dropped from the arena ceiling along with Kim Kardashian’s pic just because the bitch made the song hot. And no one argues about her placement in the song because its true. And she could care less as long as the check clears! With a 1 and a 2 and…..

Hook:
She cute and all, but that won’t last forever.
What I had for you was so much better.
Yeah the grass ain’t greener on the other side of town.
Now look at how it all turned out now.
I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter.
But I’m doing better, ’cause we ain’t together.
You sorry excuse for somebody I was into.
Remember what it was when I was wit’ you?

Chorus:
Look at how it all turned out now.
I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa.
Look at how it all turned out now.
Hope you feeling lonely baby now we’re not together.
Look at how it all turned out now.
I hope she cheat on you with a basketball playa. (so sad cheated on you wit’ a basketball playa)
Look at how it all turned out now.
Now that I’m without cha baby.

  

        And for the closing finale, their children run out on the court doing the stanky leg while their divorce lawyers throw business cards into the crowd via the t-shirt shooter. They all start to do the dramatic , yet sexy slow walk with finger snaps off the court as Marsha  ad libs. And just as they hit the exit, you can see Juanita Jordan giving high fives to the women as they head back to the dressing room where security can protect them from their exes……lmao. NeNe Leaks can be seen trying to get an interview from the sidelines.

Ad-libs:
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) heeeeyyyy yeah (x2)
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) saaaannnnggg yeah
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) Sing
(I hope she cheat on you)
I hope she cheat on you wit’ a basketball playa yeah.
Hope you feelin’ lonely now we’re not together baby.
Said I hope she cheat on you baby.

 

Yes….. this is how I envision it. This is how my head works. Dont judge me… you’re just mad because you didn’t think of it first! But serioiusly…. I am so glad that Marsha is back…and boy did she come back with a bang! You better believe that I am going to come back and review Far Away! This diva has us all wishing evil on our exes and his new girl…lol. But done so with a powerful voice that demands you pay attention and listen. Job well done, diva… I have NOTHING bad to say about this song.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

 

Related Articles:

The Game~What the Hell Happened?

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 9 March 2011 at 12:02 am

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

Episode 8: BEST Episode Ever!

     So…. after the evening that I have had… I DEFINITELY NEED THE GAME!!!! In short…. Church Niggas! I’m prepared to petition to get that inserted into Webster’s Dictionary. But enough about me ……..

    I am still on the excited from last week’s episode. Despite people blaming BET for ruining The Game , and me secretly waiting for Deborah Lee to get hit by a bus….. I still think that the cast and crew just needed a few episodes to get back into the groove of things. We as fans must learn to accept change. Yes, the show is a little raunchier than we’re accustomed but….deep down, we wished that the older show would have taken SOME of the same risks. Secondly…it really is an adult show, hence the 10pm show time. So…if we continue to support, maybe the remaining episodes and next season will give us that happy medium. You know…somewhere between getting raped and rough foreplay.

        So this episode has something to do with weed and…..I forgot, but I have a feeling it is going to be good if it has anything to do with weed.lol. As a non-smoker of anything….. weed heads crack me up. [Deletes commentary in efforts to take the high road] But… let’s get ready to watch this episode.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,  #GameOn , Bitches!!!!

        Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Ummm… so didnt Malik stop talking to Jason and even talked shit about him in while in rehab? Or did love happen to forgive everyone but Derwin? And is it really that hard for a father to say “period” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did Malik just call Brittany “a regular Bobbi Christina”? LMAO!!!! Didnt Bobbi Christina JUST attempt to put out a sex tape today? LMAO!!! I know I should be more sympathetic, but after the DMV AWARD coonery I survived this weekend and the foolery I went through at church this evening….I have earned the right to not give a damn! lmao! In fact, my give a fuck is in the shop indefinitely. Dont ask me when it is coming out.

        WOWZERS!!! Melanie looks like a midget standing next to Magic Johnson. Sooooo what other reason than a cameo is Magic even doing on this episode? And isn’t he an ex-BASKETBALL player? Isnt this show about football. And….why is everyone tip-toeing around Brittany? I would have been chopped her in the damn throat! I’m the queen of busting an unruly nigglet in the clavicle. Dont try it unless you are skilled enough to knock the wind out of them but not leave a mark. Learned that one from Ma’Dear. Are they really centering this episode around her?  DONT YOU DO IT!!! I promise you I will roast this trick! I need to find out how old she is because I am prepared to go in that ass for this horrible acting, but for now…. TRICK SATCHO ASS DOWN!!! Yes, I said satcho!

        What was up with the blanket-throw scene change? Ummmmmmmm tacky. it didn’t work with me. Writers…you’re doing too much. Okay,whoever told her to do that… you’re doing too much. Hell… where is Jazz? I need some comedy.

        WHAT IS MIA (Girlfriends) MAMA DOING TAKIN OUT TASHA’S WEAVE!!!! That is Titanium blonde. HOT DAMN! I believe she reinvented white. Klu Klux Klan sheets aren’t as white as her hair. Is that mother of pearl? What was Mia’s mama’s name anyway? Hmmmmm. Oh shit, I was suppose to be watching Tasha and this boring, over exagerrated Brittany. HOW MUCH WILL IT COST TO BRING THE OLD BRITTANY BACK? Erica Gluck…. come back! Oh please, baby, baby, please! Okay, come back and teach this girl how to act….. you are TRULY MISSED!

       Okay, this blonde hair on Tasha Mack (Wendy R. Robinson) FABULOUS!

      Ummm… Dr. Barnett doing the “D-Dubb”…..ummmmm.It is not the Dip & Pitts.

       Ummmmmm shaky nerves? They can give weed for shaky nerves? * starts twitching* What? I’m not gonna smoke it.. hell, I’ll sell that shit to pay back Sally Mae. You girl has a Master’s Degree worth of student loans I am trying to pay off.

        Sidebar: I am trying to come up with something witty… but it just isn’t coming to me. NOTHING is worth commenting on in this episode. Melanie’s parents seem to like Derwin after 2 years and for some reason they want me to believe that this is the first time that they have seen each other in 2 years since the wedding. Hmmm….really? They was that Derwin jumped back looked like he was still scared of the mother. Now, if there was still a little spite there it would have been believable. But now it just makes her parents appear to be gold diggers. They only wanted a man who could make their daughter rich? And I was soooooooooo exited about last week’s episode. Let me see what Twitter is saying about the episode:

  • luvvieig: The Game has turned Tasha Mack into a Pothead??? BET, I think you forgot the shuck and jive. That’s the only stereotype you HAVEN’T touched.
  • Spicy__Tamale: I really don’t think the game was as bad as y’all saying. I mean this is BET not CBS WTF y’all expecting?
  • LegendaryyBroo: Why Does BET Insult My Intelligence They Doin To Muchh On The Game
  • RashadAintShit: i fucks with BET for bringin back the game, but the shit stops their. minus the reruns, there’s only 4 shows on bet.
  • @KingMe707: The Game on BET is weak now str8 up —-straight up
  • CherrellRene: i can tell by every1s tweets- the game didnt keep kelsey grammar’s writers in transition to BET <omg I was thinking that!
  • thebostonbrass: No you’re not my dear. I don’t watch BET period RT @mousemoney: So apparently I’m the only person who doesn’t watch The Game.
  • essiekk: Just read this…BET ghettofied the Game lol sad but I agree
  • iCy_PRiCEy: SMH at this episode of The Game. BET is not a good representation of black people.

I promise you how I tried to find a positive one, but it is past my damn bedtime… oh shit…. this post should have been posted 24 mins ago!!!! DAMN YOU WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW!!! Raven Symone caught me in the middle of editing! Ok….

     Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Now Melanie has to lie to her parents about being pregnant in order to get on their good side? *yawn*

     And this sentimental moment between Jason and Brit….awwwww…but ummm… he wasnt thinking tight… or clearly…or financially.  Okay… I’m lost. WTF was the point of this episode? *Sigh* I dont know what the hell happened? Last week was such a rush. Is someone on maternity leave? Did someone die? Maaaaaan dont to this to me! Well, on to this boring ass show……Let’s Stay Together

Next Week: It went by too fast, and too many people were in it for me to catch it. I will catch it during a commercial break. Okay, so apparently Malik gets found out. Tasha’s new hair style was for this episode only….and apparently Dontae (Terrance J) was the focus of all of her actions as they try to make him jealous. Ummmm…..yeh, I’ll be watching. Will Jazz be in that episode too? Please say yes. I need to upgrade my Rip Tide. lmao!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ BEST Episode EVER

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 2 March 2011 at 12:02 am

 

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaining To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

Episode 7: Kill Kelly

        Okay. Yes, I am obsessed. I turned down quality platonic cuddle time with a FINE man tonight simply because it was Tuesday and I had to blog The Game. Yes, I know you are thinking WTF is wrong with me… but don’t judge me. This is like my part-time job. I make moves happen with this blog. And besides, I can behave in my house watching The Game than set myself up and be wrapped up in his arms. I did mention that he is fine, right? I mean like, deep chocolate, Almond Joy kind of FINE. I mean, broad shoulders and chest on a tall man just how I like ’em kind of FINE. Knows how to…..oh.. my bad…ummm…where was I? Oh yeh, he’s FINE.  So, how funny is it that this episode trailed the fact that Melanie wants to get kinky….lol. I know a set up when I see one. lmao! The devil is busy.  Okay, I am all ready to watch it!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn Bitches!

        First off…….Malik Crying? I’m trying to go with that. Secondly… YALL KNOW DAMN WELL THAT IS NOT MO’NIQUE’S HAIRSTYLE! How yall gone try to play me. Yall know we watch Mo’Nique enough to know damn well she does that hair swoop piece in the front. Take 2, damn it, and give me Mo’s regular hairstyle. Umm….. was I the only one who noticed that Malik almost fucking fell jumping up on that couch like Tom Cruise? BET almost fucked around and had a “man down” trying to cross market…lmao! See, this is proof that black people aint use to jumping on people’s furniture. I twitch every time I put my feet on my own fucking furniture. I have flashbacks from a childhood where timeout didn’t exist. lmao!

        Awww, they are making Malik human again…..and then come the haters! I wondered what would happen to Malik & Meagan Good. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did she really just say she didn’t wax in a month and she knows how much Malik likes that? OM-JESUS! I’m praying for the writer who wrote that in. It had to be the same writer who wrote the line about Meagan not having a uterus. LAWD! I’ll make sure to pray for them all. But I am proud of Malik for putting his foot down, but something is telling me that Meg isn’t giving up that easily. So did he become a better lover after Robin? Because she said it was mediocre. Hmmm….I would be willing to find out for research purposes. What? DON’T JUDGE ME!. I told you I turned down cuddle time. Work with me, damn.

        Ummm…you couldnt pay me enough to throw a pair of panties in my mouth .lmao! And yeh… Jazz would be the queen of teaching people about how to please their men. LMAO! at Jazz’s line about how Melanie’s sex life has “all the excitement of a fiber commercial”. Do real wives check their husbands’ fan mail? Hmmm… And who is this limber hoe in Derwin’s room? lmao!!!! And speaking of limber hoes…. How did Meagan get in Malik’s room? Does her husband not pay any attention to her? Or is the Owner in the same city as them?

Teachable moment: Bitches, if a man puts you on blast on national TV, hell… LOCAL ACCESS TV, The RUSS PARR MORNING SHOW, or Pookie’s family reunion…. let that negro go! If you are fussing about his new and or OTHER bitch… let it go!

Okay.. I’m is confused-ed…yes…confused-ed. Why would Melanie care if anyone saw Jazz come to her house? Wasn’t she sitting in her living room with all of the Sun Beams about two scenes ago? And why would you go with a menage on your first freaky engagement.

WOW! Parker (Meagan) is off the chain! First off….did she just start screaming rape in a hotel room? Secondly… Malik fell for that? (Pause)

        Is Melanie sitting in a club asking this perfect stranger to be in a threesome with her and Derwin? WHat has two years done to Med School?!!! Doesnt she know you might want to get this bitch tested first? And okay… she may not be cuter than you but she is more of a hoe and a groupie than you!!! Run bitch, save your marriage. You just let a stranger know that you can’t please your man by your damn self!!!!! Ewwwww that is not even funny. This is sad. This screams rehab. NASTY!!!!

        Okay, back to Malik. If I were him, I would have picked up the phone, called my girl …much like how Parker threatened to call her husband….and would have told her everything that is going on. I would have grabbed my bag and walked the hell out of the hotel room and gone somewhere else. Or maybe it works out that easily in my head. But then again…everyone is not Rothlisberger and can get off with two rape charges. Maybe he did the right thing. But correct me if I am wrong but if you can’t get it up there will be no sex, right? But since he got it up…he was turned on by it. And apparently he got it up twice.

Awwww… Jena is the BEST thing for Malik this season. She can stay. Who is gonna help me run Parker over with a bus? And not because she is bad… but just because she is bad for Malik. I like the balloon idea…

CAN I COME JOIN IN WITH DERWIN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummmm… that was kinky. But did Med School just have her first girl kiss? KINKY!!!! I like it. Okay.. this is the BEST EPISODE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……this season.

Grade: A++!!!!! They can stay!! And yes, the energy without Kelly made it so much better. Yes, I can tell the difference. THIS WAS THE EPISODE THAT I WAS WAITING FOR!!!! I feel like calling people I hate and hanging up. Yes, I will get the same amount of joy!

Next Episode: What? Tasha has a new hair color….damn was she even on this episode? Oh yes she was…okay. Blonde though? I have a week to let it grow on me. But TASHA IS A POTHEAD!? What is up with me and all of these caps? Hell I am excited.  Okay.. can’t wait to next week. they cant go back.. it is all up hill from here on out.

Sincerely

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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