The Game~Kill Kelly!!!!!!

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

 

Yeh, I am soooooo running behind. No time for a recap… hell, read all of the links above to catch up, witcho ( yes, witcho) late ass.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2 #GameOn Bitches

Okay, so I am running a little late. I just rushed in from choir rehearsal where we are rehearsing for How Sweet The Sound. So, Lord….pardon me for anything that pops up out of my mouth in this review.

First off, someone PLEASE pop Kelly dead smack in her clavicle every time she bugs her eyes out to prove a point! I really did send up a prayer between the third vamp at rehearsal that this episode, since it is Kelly centered, didnt suck ass. I am sooooo praying that it is true, because “I cried to the Lord, and the Lord,He heard me…..and saved me from my troubles” lol. All of you sinners not laughing at that need to find the nearest church and hug it until Sunday.

Wait, Malik is back in rehab? Oh yeh… forgot the dramatic scene at the end of last week. I feel like whooping a few people’s asses as well, so do I too suffer from emotional pain?

And I am not working for E! but why in the hell is Melanie wearing this fugly ass Greek Gone Bad dress with this fugly red purse? LMAO!!! Tasha Mack did NOT call him Ocho Uno…lmao! I wonder if Chad is watching. Wait… I know damn well they just didn’t let Kelly run up and through them like that! I wouldn’t care if I was practicing medicine or not… BITCH, Melanie is a DOCTOR! And then she is still married! So even if her and Derwin fall apart… she has something to make millions off of. Insert middle finger and an extended *Hater* here.

Who is the plus sized off beat bitch in the blue? Did she fuck the producer to get in front of the camera to dance that way in front of Fabolous? And… I noticed before how ill-proportioned Kelly was… but this mid drift top just proved it. Wait… is she REALLY dancing on Fabolous!?!!!!!!!! Fabolous didn’t know what to do with it so he just hit it twice…lmao! WOW!!! Jason called her Flat ass! lmao! Damn, did he just say that he ” doesnt mind that the apple falls far from the tree, just as long as it’s not a pathetic tree that knows how to make its ass clap”? LMAO!!! Jason is sooooooo my favorite this season. He is the one who stayed true to himself.

 Can someone please re-draw the eyebrows on this new Brittany? Oh Lawd!!! I cant take any more!

And I am liking “Jenna”. I wonder if she is a mole reporter for real. Or will she replace Meagan Good and date Malik when he leaves out? Hmmmm… I would love that twist.

Yes, down with Time Out… I dont believe in that bullshit. But I disgress. BEAT HER ASS! Lord… can Kelly get hit by a fucking bus!!! The realest that she is is when she is NOT talking….I know that made sense only to those who are just as frustrated as I am… but damn she use to could act. Again…. grammatical usage that only made sense to…oh hell, you know what the hell I meant.

Okay… why does this reunion between T-T & Malik look like something out of an 80s movie?  All we need is ol’ dude holding a boombox beside the truck. Awww…..Malik got Jenna… but that is rehab booty. And then T-T took Allison back? EWWWWWWWWW You are sharing Malik’s jizz!!! Just nasty. I need BOTH of them to step their game up. I guess you can turn a hoe into chicken truck housewife and crack head into a celeb wifey.

YES, JASON!!! LET THE BITCH GO AND REGROUP!! PLEASE!!! I’ll do the Pitts Dance. See, *Dip, & Pitts, & Dip, & Dip, & Diiiiiiiiip & Pitts!*

Next Episode: Ummmmmmm did Malik just pull a Tom Cruise on Mo’Nique’s couch? I swear he almost fell. Will watch just to see that. But really? How long are the episodes apart?  Love? With the Rehab booty? Really? Oh lawd! And did Med School really just smack the shit out of Derwin. Ummmmm Okay. That’s all I have people. I will do better next week. I promise.

Grade: C+ I see them trying, but any Episode where Kelly has more than a head nod and 4 words, it will always suck unless she can go back to her good acting and cut out the fucking bulging eye ball thing she keeps doing. That is all.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ Won’t Call it a Comeback?

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

        Okay…. so I am sitting in my office refusing to leave until I can get this recap written up so that I can watch the show in piece. yes, I have to run home and hide all of my personal documentation because my maid comes tomorrow to clean. What? I don’t know that bitch. She can clean but she may steal too. I would hate to have to beat her ass and then call INS. (It’s not racist…I’m part Latina. it’s almost as if I said Nigga and I’m black). So.  Ummm. Oh yeh.

        Last week I was starting to get back into the swing of things. I still need them to pick a few sets to STAY WITH instead of showing us how much money BET is willing to dish out on this show by giving us a tour of local hotspots. The acting is getting better…but it isn’t quite there yet. I’m still hanging in there. I have moved my critique from 4 episodes to one season. that way they can hear all of the critiques that everyone is giving them and try to change them for next season. It is just taking us some getting use to, that is all. I mean, what is there to expect for people who have memorized entire episodes from 3 previous season. So get of my Saber jock strap, will ya!

       I am really looking forward to playing Usher’s “Papers” during the scene where Malik talks to the chick on the steps that looks like Usher’s ex-wife. I really think she may be a snitch to the media and blow Malik’s cover, but I am just speculating. I think Melanie is yelling at Kelly because her acting sucks this season and she should leave. I can’t remember much of anything else… but that just means that I have more to look forward to.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn , Bitches!

        Not that you care, but I am sitting on a mound of clean clothes that I have to fold. But…. I was praying that the opening would be a little less predictable. Let’s Stay Together is contagious!!!! Dont turn predictable, please don’t! I will sleep with  Kat Stacks unprotected before I allow The Game to get that bad.

        Speaking of bad…. in walks Kelly. Ummmm do stars actually just walk up in each other’s houses? Because Kelly just ALL the way up into Melanie’s house.  I soooo want her to get hit by the very party bus that she just suggested the Sun Beams use.

        Who is the actress that is playing Jenna? Like I said, she looks like Tameka.  Okay, ummmm this scene with the shrink in the rehab clinic just confused me. And with a mound of laundry i the crack of my ass I am unable to find the patience to even complain about it. In short, it was too simple and not much conflict. I think it would have been better if Malik would have gotten kicked out because now it is just too reckless of him to just walk out.

       ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Terrance J’s ASS IS IN THE AIR!!! Can we please feed this motherfucker and stop making him a sex symbol!!!! I can’t take it. I think I have the flu. Bird Chest Flu!!! Speaking of chests… is this the episode of Titty Free Actresses!!! Okay, yes, I am jealous that my tits are too huge to wear a dress lie that… but sweet Jesus ( not Christ) I think we should have a one breast sighting per episode.

       And Malik taking pills out in the open in a club!!!!!!!!!!! FUDGE NAWL!!!! LMAO!!!! That’s why Malik just got knocked the FUCK OUT!!!!! lmao! Where’s Chris Tucker when you need him? lmao!!!!!!! That was priceless. I still don’t like Malik this damn reckless. There has to be an ounce of humanity in him to make this believable. Damn, Robin Givens jacked him up. hahahahahaha. *Presses rewind on that sucker punch* LMAO! Doesnt get old.

       Why do I have a feeling…damn I couldn’t even type it fast enough. Tasha Mack got caught by Dontae Young.  DAMN! Wait, does this mean that Terrance J wont be on the next episode since he just broke up with Tasha? 

        WOW! Kelly Pitts did get breast implants because last season she was flat chested as a bitch! I told yall… one breast set minimum.

        Wait.. is that the same bathroom that Malik broke in the second episode? Okay, so they found a new club to attend? But at least this is a repeat set!!!LMAO!!! Malik running into the stall is fudging HILARIOUS! Wait… that’s not the same bathroom because they walked towards the camera and not out the door behind them. I am soooo confused with set direction. ARHH!

Snap! That was it…… *SIgh! and now this bullshit!

       My Grade: F-: There were three plots going but they took too long to establish and drug alog too slowly. The conclusion of them all was unbelievable. *Sigh* I can’t even find the strength or the free hand, since the other is picking a laundry wedgie, to complain. I WANT THIS TO GET BETTER!!! I know what it is…. whenever Kelly is in an episode, I hate it! I absolutely hate it! Okay, well let me finish folding and hanging these clothes. smh. I need a new closet. I don’t have space. and I have two more loads in the laundry room. TMI.. I know. Dueces.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ What Now?

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

        Okay… usually my intros would be filled with witty banter and clever wordplay that would make a Sylvia Plath read seem joyous. But today… I had stuff to do. lol. I had to live my real life and I just got home from work. So, you’re just gonna have to deal with a tired artistic woman who is doing this because I like to make people like my homegirl from high school, Cristina, laugh and give me her blunt ass feedback the day after. LMAO!!! YEs… this is the best that you may get today.

        So, I really couldn’t remember what happened last week so I am sitting on my plush Ikea bed watching it again. I don’t know how I feel about that. I use to remember everything about this show and now I can’t even remember a week back. WOWZERS! But after watching a few moments of it, I remember that it was slow as hell, yet at the very end I ended up feeling as if I connected with how Malik felt by Derwin’s not being there at the conference. Yes, one redeeming factor. So…..was it worth watching? I guess, erah ummm, let me keep thinking on that.

       I really only saw Tasha Mack complaining that her money was hood rich and that she was proud of it….so I really have no clue what this week is supposed to be about. Oh yeh, Janay doesn’t want her son near the DNA police either. I guess they are working their way back to the multi-plot scheme that we grew to love. While I’m on what we grew to love… predictable ass sets. I think the only repeat sets that have made it from Episode 1 to 4 has been Tasha’s house and  Derwin/Melanie’s livingroom. I need to become familiar with things.Not even the characters are the same as we remember, so please give me a stable set….a foundation of sorts. Its starting to look more like a reality TV show, which doesn’t sit well with many palettes or aesthetics, than a sitcom or drama.  TREAT ME LIKE A BLACK CRACK BABY IN THE HANDS OF MADONNA OR SANDRA BULLOCK!!! SAVE ISAIAH, BITCHES! SAVE HIM!!! Dont make me call Kelsey Grammar! I’ll do it… you know I will. Speaking of white people, where does Kelly live? Hell, where does Jason live? OH LAWD!!! They’re turning this reverse vitiligo having Brittany into ISAIAH!!! Okay… I’ve had enough… ready for the real thing.

Show starts in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…. #GameOn , Bitches!

*Side eye at the opening scene* Wow! I’m not liking that Melanie is so open about disliking church. Before you didn’t know what she was and Derwin was just so strong about being a Christian. They are making her look like such a hoodlum now. Not sitting well with me. Why is that a part of her character that they have to bring out?

Speaking of bring out….sooooo last we saw Janay she was upset with Derwin and planning to send him to court. So when did she change her mind and let Derwin spend every day over the house while he lies to his wife? Melanie would understand that in order for him to be with his son he has to spend time at Janay’s leisure. All I have to say about this…. REAL BLACK MEN, DONT TRY THIS SHIT AT HOME!!! I swear, you will come home and have to choose between Taraji in I Can Do Bad All By Myself in the bathroom with the radio or Regina in This Christmas with a bottle of baby oil & a belt. Translation, negro don’t do it.

Side Note: Both of those women DID the damn thang!!! You hear me?  I could watch both of those scenes on repeat and never get tired. *Standing O*…okay… back to the regularly scheduled Take 2

Someone watch my back while I sit in these bushes and aim a gun at Kelly Pitts for over acting!!!! And get the car started as I reload to take aim at Tasha Mack. This is too much. There were subtle ways that she could have retaliated at Dontae checking her purse strings….this is a pointless plot. Well, not unless Derwin drops her and she loses her money. And I would have popped her in her face for calling Janay’s attention in the restaurant knowing that I didn’t want to start anything.

Speaking,again, of punching someone in the face….. I OUGHTA KNOCK THE HELL OUT OF MELANIE!!! You don’t let the sideline hoe know that your man is lying to you. I would have mentioned the whole “Thank you for letting DJ go to Disney World with us” thing, but as soon as Janay mentioned she didn’t know anything about it…. I would have kept the rest to myself and handled my business when I got home. I mean, what of  link does Janay’s webcam have where you can view it on the world wide web? More females need to get that kind of access to their men…lmao! Oh lawd…. was Janay about to have a Lady in Blue moment? Damn, the negro apologized….lol.  But I understand….. and then again I don’t. No matter how many times Derwin came to your house, he is still married.

My Grade: B+. This one had more of the multi-plots that we are accustomed to. I could connect on some leve with Janay’s point of view…. however far-fetched to why Derwin had to lie about it. I need Melanie to be stable just a little bit… I don’t know who she is yet. The game has changed her too much. But I guess that is life….and maybe that is why I am fighting it so hard. I want Tasha to relax in herself more and not broadcast, and I want Kelly to get hit by a bus. But… the B+ is because I am enjoying it. It’s not quite Big Mama’s home cooking, but it is Auntie Junie mimicking her recipe and I can respect that…at least its all still in the family.

Next Episode: I cant remember… I am over here laughing in my own right. Is it just me, or does the woman sitting on the steps listening to Malik look JUST LIKE USHER’S BABIES’ MAMA?!!! I mean, it is a rehab clinic… no telling what being broke could have Tameka doing. lmao!!!! RUN MALIK!!! You saw how she sucked the life out of Usher!!! RUN!!!! Okay, these are just jokes. But I want to see why Melanie is going off on Kelly, and what happened to Tasha and Rick Fox that it has taken him 2 years to call her when in last season he was showing up to her house after the wedding. Hmmm… a must watch! I see you trying! Keep it up!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~