~*2Deep*~

Posts Tagged ‘funny’

The Braxtons~ www.Lupus.org

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 4 May 2011 at 12:04 am

Episode 1: Burmuda or Bust Tamar in the Face

Episode 2: Gets Wasted

Episode 3: Happy Birthday and Tamar.com

I am not drunk enough to listen to Tamar today. But here goes nothing!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 22, #THISBITCH.com

Okay, why are they starting off with THISBITCH.com?!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m going to have to rewind my DVR to make sure that I got them, there were too many.

Tamar’s House Rules

Commentary by 2Deep

  1. No eating in the bedrooms Ummm, Bitch , I’m grown)
  2. Cleanup after yourself; maid is just for Tamar (Bitch, dont make me punch you!)
  3. None of these rules apply to Mommy (Shiiiiiit, they dont apply to me either)
  4. Wash your hands and take off shoes (Do I look like a child or a stripper to you?!)
  5. No singing in the house unless I ask you to harmonize (Bitch, do I LOOK like a Pip to you?Dirty Money to your Diddy?)
  6. No sitting on furniture until showered (*Farts*)
  7.  No visitors unless pre-approved (Excuse me, can this ass whooping come over in 2 minutes? I asked it to come meet me here.)
  8. No speaking foreign languages around Tamar (Escucha, punta!)
  9. Mandatory 8am work out (I watch the Biggest Loser, not participate)
  10. I quite…. I think the last one was to get Toni to go tanning…….lol…smh at this female.

 

AND DID THIS BITCH JUST SAY THAT TRACI IS GHETTO?!!!! Please punch this bitch in the face!

AND DID THISBITCH.com JUST TELL TONI THAT SHE WAS GOING TANNING?! What motherloving NEGRO goes to get a TAN?!

And then…. THISBITCH.com just but her sisters into the kid’s room?

Wait….they Braxton’s have a brother? Damn! Mikey looks good…..is he married. I mean, what? In a nerdy kind of way…..*looks for the ring*

And I HATE to call Toni stupid…. but to follow Tamar into the tanning salon to get spray tanned….it wasnt the smartest decision in your life. And then to have the white pale looking women standing behind the counter NOT using their own products should have been SIIIIIIGN Number ONE!

IS THIS SESAME STREET? I feel like asinine is the word of the day!

as·i·nine

 /ˈæsəˌnaɪn/ Show Spelled[as-uh-nahyn] Show IPA

–adjective

1.

foolish, unintelligent, or silly; stupid: It is surprising that supposedly intelligent people can make such asinine statements.

2.

of or like an ass: asinine obstinacy; asinine features.

 

LAWD!!!!! Hoodrat.com?!!! I mean, just listening to Traci smacking and how she eats is KILLING ME!! No, she just needs her mother to reach across the table and smack the shit out of her. *Wait….why is this segment of Tamar talking look like someone filmed it with a Sony camera*

Ummmmm can someone please point out the wrinkles on Mama Braxton’s face?!!!! I am trying to find them, but I can’t. She looks beautiful. I must be blind. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tony making the “panther” face almost made me pee my pants. And can someone please tuck in Dr. Hamilton’s tag on the back of his scrubs?

Okay, sooooooo Tamar does make sense in the whole “charge your family” situation.  Well, kind of. I think that if you want me to come from my life to perform for you to get money….PAY ME! I don’t care if we are family. Now, if you are doing a charity event….fine, I’ll chalk that one up for the team, but you are being flown out and getting paid, I don’t see anything wrong with that. Sorry. If I am helping you, you help me. I don’t think that you should only come to family when you don’t want to pay someone else to do it. So that part of the argument….I am not down with. But I do understand that Tony shouldnt be the sole person helping their mother pay for bills when there are 5 girls and one boy. Hell, if everyone gave $100 she could pay a bill or 2.

Sidebar:  MAYBE I would need to be a millionaire to understand this…but if my mother were alive, I would buy my mother a lifestyle that she could maintain on her own. I don’t believe in that whole….my mother never has to work again. SIKE YOUR MIND FOR A DOLLAR NINETY-NINE!!! No, I will buy my mother a house so that she doesn’t have to worry about a mortgage. I will buy my mother a car so she doesn’t have to worry about a car note. I will buy my mom her ideal business so that she can bring in income the way that she sees fit. I don’t think that I should have to support my entire family. Fuck nawl! I put in the work…you put in the work too. And scene.

Can someone please explain this Christmas, Salt, G.I. Jane looking outfit that Tamar has on at the restaurant?~~~

Soooooo who is the white dude in the background by Tamar in the bar? And WHAT IS UP WITH THESE CELEBS AND THESE DAMN ONESIES!!!!!! *cough* cough* choke*choke!!!!! Toni doing Tamar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “what?!” TOWANDA and the “What?” Face…lmao!!!! Oh no!!!! Towanda and the booty shake dance!

Dr. Schapira…..? Isnt he a lawyer too? hahahah j/k.

Diana’s Color Collage or College? I will go with College. Mrs. Olson is so proper… I love it! I really do think that an etiquette couch is needed for ALL OF THEM!!!

Okay, can someone please tell me how Toni’s coming out about her Lupus managed to be about consoling Tamar? Please give me permission to punch this chick in her clavicle!!!!!!!

Sidebar:  My mother passed from Lupus, well… a heart attack as a side effect of Lupus, so this is very near and dear to my heart. For more information check out the Lupus Foundation of America’s website at www.Lupus.org .

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sinbad~ Burn It Up!

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 4 May 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1: It’s Just Family

Episode 2: Funny Money

Episode 3: Road to Health

In short…. I’m ready to laugh at Sinbad,  envy Paige’s clothing, admire Meredith , and drool over Royce.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #LaughDamnIt

Okay, sooooo I was too busy watching the beginning of this episode to be inspired to write about it. Sooooo they are not cleaning bathrooms and going shopping for a new grill. YIPEE!!!

Wait… there is a place called Barbeque Galore?!!! I want to go there.

LMAO!!!!!!!!! Did he just do the man card speech?! hahahahahaha *rewind*

Okay, Paige finding the snake…. NOT SCRIPTED!!! I thought I saw her heart beat her body back in the house…lol.  And I LOVE how Royce did the slow, cool man jog away from the snake! He started off in a fast sprint and then remembered he had a rep to protect and then slowed it down. hahahaha He even bit his lip just like Sinbad…lmao!!! He lost some cool points on that one…hahahahahahahahahaha. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! Sinbad took off in a face hustle like he had Royce’s knees….lmao! I never saw Sinbad move that fast in my life…lmao! OUCH!!! Cramp in my side!!!! OUCH!!! lmao!!!! Royce took off running after they put the snake in the bag! hahahahah.

Sidebar: When did it become okay to capture a snake on your own? What? I’m just saying.

-” You killin me Sinbad”

– “Yeh, but you aint dead yet!”

LMAO!!! Sinbad is haggling this dude so hard that my side still hurts from the snake scene.

*Yummy* Penuches sound sooooo good! I would make some penuches, but then that would go against all of this work that I have put into exercising the past two days.

LMAO!! So why did Sinbad say, “When Royce becomes a husband. Oh, God”? Can’t the man be betrothed to me!!!!?

CHEATER!!! Paige has just sabotaged her mother’s Penuche batch! CHEATER!

LMAO!!! Royce and his double complimenting cracks me up!!!

LMAO!!!! The dude with like 8 burgers between one bun! lmao! He told Sinbad, “Lucky I didnt get six”lmao!

Sinbad’s mother, Louise, is still BEAUTIFUL!!! She looks just the way that she did in his comedy special.  Rev. Adkins may want to back away from the grill before Sinbad pulls a Pepsi on him.

LMAO!!! Sinbad said the ribs jumped over the back of the grill because it wasnt dead…lmao!!!

*Yummy* Royce in a red shirt….again.

Wait?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Monty is back? When did Monty come back? I thought that they broke up. Not saying that I want them to * side eye* but I would have remembered when his fine behind came back.

WHO IS THE FINE DUDE WITH THE HAT ON THE BASS/GUITAR NEXT TO SINBAD?!!!!!

This was great to see his friends and family with him. I loved it!

 

SIncerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sinbad~ Road to Health

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 28 April 2011 at 12:08 am

Episode 1: It’s Just Family

Episode 2: Funny Money

So, last week I loved the show and I still love the show….but I caught some discrepancies and had to call them out. So I recognized Willie from BET’s College Hill and the girl he was with was suppose to be his wife. Well……it is an entire week later and the thread just keeps on unraveling. The girl who was with Willie portraying his wife was named Cecily. As luck would have it… I am watching Elgin Charles’ show onVh1 called Beverly Hills Fabulous when in walks this woman named Cecily. SMDH. I was staring at her like, where do I know her from? Her face looks oddly familiar. And then Sean, the hairstylist says, “My client, Cecily, is a matchmaker.” DING! Woman, weren’t you on Sinbad’s show It’s Just Family  last week? Damn, she gets around! But I can’t knock her hustle…just need them to spread out their reality show appearances more than they are currently exercising.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #LaughDamnIt

Hmmmm… just watched the intro. I wonder what size Paige wears? Because I want to become a shoe buddy and borrow her shoes. They are always so cute!!!!

Okay, soooo Scott, Sinbad’s agent….hmmm. So, do all actors have to get a physical in order to be considered to work? Then WTF kind of physical did Charlie Sheen have to take? lmao!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Scott asked if Sinbad wanted a male or a female physician to come and check him for a physical and Sinbad replied, “It doesn’t matter; female.” lmao!!! Classic! And Sinbad told the physician to lie to his family about his blood preassure…lmao! But in all honesty, I need to look more into my own blood pressure.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Sinbad said, “Since this is a woman’s network, I think that I should get a pap smear on a regular basis……even though I dont even have a pap.” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where was this man found?!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m gonna get fired!!! I think that was the joke of the century!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahah!

I’m about to go to the grocery store in just a minute…. they are making me feel bad!!! *eats Jelly Belly*

Wait? There is a HOME prostate check? Yes, I too would be mortified like Paige if my father asked me to help him with a home prostate exam. lmao! Sinbad asked them to look at his fingernails and asked if he could hurt himself. lmao!!! LMAO!! Meredith is hilarious during this whole thing as well. The whole ” lubricate your area” conversation is enough to get me fired.  LMAO!!! The conversation with Sinbad saying he can’t find it…. smdh! LMAO!!! I’m done.. I can’t laugh any harder…lmao!

Ummmmmm I’m trying to remain holy while I watch Royce beat this dude up… but forgive me Father, for I continue to sin. *rewinds* Yep, still sinning.In all honesty, he is really good at this martial arts and combat execution. I wonder if he needs a combat partner. *Raises hand and falls on mat*

Sidebar:  I wonder how many track suits does Sinbad own?

And Royce is even sexier without the glasses…..correction….a different kind of sexy. 

WOW! This acupuncturist has Sinbad’s face looking like dude off of Hell Raiser….that was the movie with the dude with all of the needles in his face, right? And the scene where the chiropractor is adjusting his spine cracks me up. It looks like we walked on a Cinemax late night special called Sinbad, Paulo & a chiro table. lol.

LMAO!!!! Sinbad said that the secret to healthy eating as you get older is “If it tastes good, spit it out” lmao! I love this man.

Wait….. chef Same Bell walked into the room and I damn near forgot about Royce until they zoomed in on him eating an apple on the counter. The chef is one fine piece of beautiful man candy. AND he can cook!!!!!!!!!!!!! Royce, honey…. I don’t think that you and I are working out. I think we need some time apart… at least to the end of this chef’s segment and then we can try to work out our difference.

Man, when Chef Bell threw away all of that food… my inner fat chick cried. I think I will have to eat a chicken wing in honor of all that wasted food…lol.

LMAO! The body builder prayer…lmao!

I LOVE watching Meredith actually keep up with Regina the fitness trainer.  I want to be fit like Meredith when get to be her age…..whatever it is because I can’t tell… she looks amazing. Remember people, black doesn’t crack! But Sinbad cracked me up when he said ” don’t let the kids know we hurt” as they were leaving to hip hop class…lol.

Yeh…. this show is a keeper. You laugh, you learn, and you witness a family. I read a caption earlier where someone called Sinbad’s family the New Cosby Show. I have to agree.So thank you for making us laugh….laughter is good for your health too.

SIncerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Braxtons~Happy Birthday and Tamar.com

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 27 April 2011 at 12:20 pm

Episode 1: Burmuda or Bust Tamar in the Face

Episode 2: Gets Wasted

Yes, I know… I posted this late. I was extremely tired last night, set my DVR and woke up this morning…13 hours later. lol. So… my deepest apologies for those of you who faithfully hit me up at midnight asking when I will post my blogs. You are appreciated!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 22, #KillTamar

First off HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TONI ( mega late… but go with the spirit) Secondly… I love the intro to the show. I never really paid close attention to it than what I just did. I looooooove it. If it were a full song, I would play it all the time. I wish she could reuse the beat and do a song with it too. 

Wait… did Tamar’s ass just call Toni the “Fun Police”? Come on. People are just different. There are places that I would not want to do for my birthday. And I love how Toni called her out about being “New Money”. Yes, it is soooo evident that Tamar is full of ignant New Money ideas and activities. She should listen to Toni…no offense… but Toni has filed for bankruptcy TWICE, right? And lawd!!! Did Vincent really give Tamar his card? I want to do an intervention on Vincent.

Sidebar: Vincent, honey. I have no clue what it is that you see in Tamar, but from what I am seeing, honey…..you need a better and more appreciative woman. I mean, really? Is this just an act or is she this way all of the damn time? I cant stomach it. I really want to find a wman who is appreciative and deserving of a good man like Vincent.

And the yacht that Tamar got was nice… but it was a little over the top. But again… she is NEW MONEY. And Tamar roasting Toni…lmao! PRICELESS AND ON POINT!!! Lmao! OKAY… Tamar made a funny. I can give her that.

I am in LOVE with those Sex in the City sunglasses. The Carry Bradshaw shades are on point!

Wait…. Did they just say that Trina doesn’t have any sexual inhibitions out of the blue?!!! I didn’t even see the transition. LMAO!!! Trina said that she is Try-sexual…lmao! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!! Trina took down her panties to show someone how to masturbate? LMAO!!!! That is funny amongst all funny.

LMAO!!! She said that you need to role play… and Tamar said, “Pretend what?  That your husband doesn’t cheat?” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Traci and this whole “knock boots with your mother in the house. You cant even bust a good nut.” statement had me about to get fired. Lmao! And when Traci did the Legally Blonde “Lean & Snap” cracked me up! But I am not mad at them! Keep it going ladies! Women should be more liberal in their sex lives and be proud of expressing their wants and needs.

So LIV nightclub….I have to remember to go there next time I am inMiami. And awwww Toni is in the room. I love how she stuck to her guns. If she didn’t feel like going out…. Don’t go out. This world is about our wants and needs. I love how Toni has her own mind and she sticks to it. BEAUTIFUL!!! But it was comical how they went from the club and then did a slowed down record sound when they flashed back to Toni in the hotel room. But I don’t understand why Traci was unable to go out.

GENIUS!!!! I love how Toni said “ I don’t do sequels” when Tamar requested that she date an ex-boyfriend….lol. MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY! I’m procrastinating accepting a friend request on Facebook from an ex at this very moment….lol.

Traci saying that Tamar has more houses than she has shoes….lol. Again, I don’t have millions, so I don’t understand it….but more than 4 houses is a bit too much. Wait… did this woman just say that it has 9.5 bathrooms? Who has to shit that much!!! And 7 bedrooms? SMDH.

Ummm… is the perfume called Booty Crack and Don’t Get me Wrong I don’t Swallow?….smdh.

I love how Traci is able to let Toni’s success be hers to enjoy. I feel some kind of way about Trina and Tamar saying that they will always be Toni’s Sisters. Well, boo…. Step ya game up. It is very selfish because Toni congratulates you all, from what I can see….on all of your accomplishments. You should NOT make her feel bad about it. Because something that you all have is because of HER! So Tamar, you wouldn’t have yoru husband if it wasn’t for Toni’s success. We wouldn’t even know you if it wasn’t for Toni. PERIOD! So, get over it.

I love how Vincent said, “We’re not ready for kids right now, we have Tamar” lmao! And I read a blog earlier this morning, and I agree with one of the comments…I think that Tamar wans to have children, but Tamar just doesn’t want one with Vincent. And really…. Tamar, the WORLD is giving you the “shut up” face.

HOLD THE FUCK UP!!! For Tamar to role call on her sisters and their men… I would have punched that bitch in her face. She is sooooo wrong for that. They let that selfish, bad weave wearing, high pitched, fish face, ghetto bitch get away with that. I wish a mother fucker would!!!! And her spending 3 thousand dollars on SHADES!!!! Shoot me now. 

And yes, Vince… put your feet down and let her know that she is wasting YOUR money. And he told her that she does a lot of talking and not enough listening. PREACH!!!PUT HER ON BLAST!!! Tamar, I don’t want her to say shit else until she signs that contract paperwork that Vincent gave her to get her record ready.  Put up… or Shut up. Point. Blank. Period.

I am in LOVE with this look that Toni has while she is sitting on the couch when Towanda comes over to discuss a blind date for Toni. She looks so naturally beautiful. I tell yall… black doesn’t crack! WAIT!!! Lmao! Is Toni really looking for a Rabbit vibrator?!!!!!!!!! Lmao! I cant write this while at work! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. #dead!

Next week: The clip is so vague that I cant tell you what it is about…. But, I do know that I will be watching. Yeh buddy!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sinbad~Funny Money

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 20 April 2011 at 2:22 am

 

Episode 1: It’s Just Family

        So, Last week was the BEST blog week in the history of me blogging. Yes, you read that correctly and no, I am not exaggerating. Two things happened:

        1. My blog about Sinbad was the highest read blog out of any of my blogs to date. Yes, 312 people read that one blog in one day! That blog is still the top read blog in the days following its post. The people have spoken….Sinbad is the best.

        2. I tweeted Sinbad ( hopefully it was him and not an assistant) and causally mentioned my blog, provided a link, and preceeded with the words “Check this out” . lol. Well, HE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not lying to you.

        Sorry for the blury pic, but I was trying to take a pic on the sneak tip. Yes, I will cherish this til the day that I die. I dont think that you fully understand what has occurred here. One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE COMEDIANS…… CALLED ME FUNNY! *faints*

        lol. Okay, all drama aside, I really am touched. Whether he meant I was literally funny or figureatively, I dont give a flying Sarah Palin with painted on crosshairs…he called me funny! It does something to me. I really did take those words to heart, and I could be taking it too far, and blowing it all out of proportion… but you’re just jealous he didnt call you funny. *sticks out tongue* Okay…. I guess I can move on to another topic. I just had to share that with the entire blog world. *Sigh* Again, I can die happy.

        Now, if the rest of the world is ready to see Sinbad and his family……sit back and get ready. And if the rest of the    ladies are ready for Royce, like I am…..bring out the fans to fan yourself.  FYI. I hope to hear Paige sing this episode. I guess I could just go to her website that was mentioned in the last episode, hmmm.  What was it again? *Googles* JustPaige.com.

        Okay, first off… I envy tall women who can look beautiful and rock confidence. Most of the times they tell us we have to starve ourselves in order to be tall and beautiful… but Paige is definitely working this pic on the banner of her website. And the one with her hair swooped back ( bio page) with the white spousal abuse top on, that is a Cover Girl ad if I ever saw one!  YOU BETTER WORK IT, WOMAN! And yes, you read correctly, spousal abuse shirt (it is my attempt at being politically correct. I dont believe in beating just your wives.. I believe in equality when it comes to  domestic abuse attire. P.S. These are just jokes, people). Now, as I sit here listening to Sick N’ Tired off her new album Imperfect Me, I am trying to figure out who she sounds like… and I’ve got nothing. I dont think that is a bad thing, I think that is a great thing… totally original. So far I am feeling Need You To Love Me, I Don’t Know, & Friend.  And while I am at it, Silly Girl’s intro is killing me softly. Look At Me Now, no relation to Chris Brown’s Version, may be my new anthem…..if only I could hear more of the song…but the 5 second snippet was cool. My only problem with the site is that the music section gives too much of the intro music and not enough Paige. I mean, Is It Me never even got to her voice. Sometimes the voice & chorus are what makes us decide if we want to buy the album. SO just a little bit and maybe even the chorus as a sample. But who am I, right? Just saying.

Oh yeh…. right…. the show.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #LaughDamnIt!

        In the famous words of Will Smith’s character Hancock, “I’ve been drinking, Bitch”. So yeh, I straight up missed the first half of this. So I will have to watch this half and then go back and watch the first half.*Rewind sound effects*

        Sinbad is having a yard sale? I mean, he did have a ton of stuff, but it would only be fair for the entire HOUSE to have a yard sale…lol. Question: Why call it a yard sale if the yard itself never gets sold? What? Dont judge me! I think that it is a legitimate question.

LMAO!!! The afro sheen blowout kit! lmao!!!! Where do they even sell that any more? hahahahahaha

        OUCH!!! I need to wear Depends while watching this show. It should be a crime to pee on yourself when you laugh so hard.  But the way that Sinbad said BB King‘s wife would get shot if she put Lucille out at a yard sale….lmao! I would wear my pee pants out in the street proudly if someone laughed as hard as I did and wanted to share our urinary issues with the world…lol. Just call me Pissy Pants Deep! lmao *POW*

        LMAO! And the way Meredith hi-jacked her clothes back from the yard sale hurt me, too. I may have a weak bladder because this show cant be this funny. She told the lady who wanted to buy her jackets to let it go and to follow Sinbad…lol.

And Paige sold Sinbad! lmao! That was funny.

        LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sinbad has a “new” knee! lmao! Who says that.?Wow… 2 knee replacements. My knee is tingling just hearing that. LMAO! And the camera men are hilarious!!!! He said their cue to leave was when he kissed his wife goodnight & it was freaky to have them there and he was about to test what they were made of. Hell, he may want to try them…that’s how we all know Kim Kardashian…but I dont think that Meredith would be down with that. Call me a psychic….but I’ve got a good feeling that it wouldnt go down like that…lmao

        HOLD UP!!!!!  Okay… if I thought that this show was scripted last week…I know for a damn fact it is scripted this week!!!!! So, the fan that won a dinner date with his wife, Cecily, and Sinbad is named WIllie. Take a trip with me, will ya. Now, as an avid television watcher, I remember a BET reality series called College Hill…and one of those season they were in the Caribbean. Well, you guessed it…Willie was one of the dudes from Cali who was on that season. Yuo remember the season… the one where teh spoiled Cali girl bussed Vaness, the Caribbean girl, in her forehead with a 4inch heel. Remember, he was the only dude who didnt have a girl in the house. He was trying to compete with Chidi for Vanessa? And then a year or two after the show ended he was in Scary Movie or some other parody movie. Yeh, all that to say….how in the hell did your daughter sell you to people that we already know in the industry who dont even live in your same damn neighborhood? *Tamar lip pout to the side* (yes, that was a Braxton reference). But…. scripted or not… I love the show. Just dont play with my level of intelligence. Don’t worry… I wont tell anyone what I know….lol. But Willie’s afro is ten times smaller. And now he is married?….hmmmm.Well, congrats. He wasnt able to get a woman on the show, but he got one in real life…lol. And I see he still likes the light skinned women.

        Okay, so did Willie really just ask to be on the road with Sinbad? Umm… Sinbad called me funny and you dont see me trying to headline his next show…lmao. Okay, really Cecily…did you just say that this was your anniversary? *Blank stare* *Side eye* And this joke that Willie told flopped so hard. And then they are pretending to fight in front of us….I feel punked. Sinbad just punked us all. We all thought that this was a reality TV show. Sinbad did this to prove a point.  You want to know why I KNOW it is off…because the editing people fudged up and had a scene of her going off on him with her jacket on…then two scenes later she is leaving and comes back for her coat. Y’all KNOW I knit pick small stuff like that for a living. Again, dont test my level of inteligence~~~ This is a reality sitcom. Yep, Sinbad has invented a new genre of television. I coined it first, so I want my 15%!

        Wait… Royce gets a brand new car? I am trying to figure this out……y’all had a yard sale and now Royce gets a car? Okay.. yeh, he is fine…but a new car. And then an F150? I have an Expedition, so I am semi-partial here….but why an F150? Is he planning on lugging things around in the back? But, I guess you like what you like. And yes, Sinbad, I know what cars cost these days… I paid for mine in full off the lot…. WOWZERS! What a price tag. I could have put a down payment on a house with that kind of money…lmao.LAWD! Did Sinbad just pull out the President’s Fiscal Budget in a Glad ziplock bag? lmao!!! If that isn’t hood rich, I have no clue what is. lmao! Let me find out Sinbad has street cred…lol.

        Okay, so, I love the dresses that Paige is picking out. I mean,  like I said above, I love the fact that she is tall and beautiful. But did Paige just say that Royce get cars & she cant get a dress?! Really?! WOW! Talk about being the favored kid. But I wonder where her performances are. I love the outfit that she finally settled on. It was as if I asked for this episode this morning and the universe gave it to me. I mean really, didn’t I ask for Paige to sing this episode? Yeh, I am psychic….lol. I wonder what song this is.  YES,!!!!!!!! Sick N’ Tired!!!! I told you that I like this song! Paige’s voice rocks. Yes… I want to download this as soon as I get back to my own laptop.  My new anthem…….cant say what I want to say because the person that I want to sing this song too… I’m using his computer…lmao! Just kidding….to an extent…lol.

        Wait!lmao! Did Sinbad say ” I’ve never lived large; I’ve lived medium” lmao! And IRS still came and got his stuff…lmao! No judgement, just saying. LMAO! I’m going to Sinbad’s house to borrow some software. lol. Damn, Sinbad is 54?!!!! I’m getting old as hell!

        And I am really, really, really trying to listen to this entire “family pulling together in a crisis” speech, but I cannot help but stare at Royce through this whole thing. I may wish to stop drooling over this handsome piece of man candy because I dont want Sinbad to use me as a prime example of a “scrimmage woman”. But Jesus…if I was 8 years younger… I would kidnap him on his way to class. lol.

        LMAO!!! What is going on with this end scene? lol. He really did not just ask who let him in his house…lol. This is why I love SInbad. Funny.

Next Week: I believe what Sinbad said… he said that he doesn’t have to be in shape because his stunt guy has to be.lol. I need a life stunt double. Hmmm… next week is going to be funny. I cant wait.

The Braxtons~Gets Wasted

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 20 April 2011 at 1:35 am

Episode 1: Burmuda or Bust Tamar in the Face

Well last week’s episode was quite a rush. I was overwhelmed by everything that came out of Tamar’s mouth, and I sympathized with Traci. WHo knew that all of this was going on? But, it was entertaining to say the very least.

Now…..in hindsight, I must take a moment to apologize for something that I said. Last week I made a comment about Toni’s cheeks being chubby, and that was very insensitive of me. A subscriber to my blog commented and let me know that her cheeks were chubby because of the medication she must take for her Lupus. I felt horrible when I read that. My comment was in no way meant to take away from the undeniable beauty that she has always been, and continues to be….. I was just speaking without thinking. My mother suffered and lost her battle with Lupus so I know EXACTLY what Toni is going through. I had to make sure that I apologized for such an ignorant statement. I doubt that she reads this… but should she, I humbly apologize and hope that she accepts it. I also send the most amount of prayers in yoru direction for your health and spirit. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Now…..the rest of the sisters are not immuned to my foolery.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #BraxtonGenes

Okay, now all of this weave…….Ummmm. Tamar, how is it that the ROOTs of your LACE FRONT is in need of a touch-up? PLEASE help me to understand that? *Sigh* Y’all need to listen to Toni, because her hair is the ONLY one who stays consistently pretty. Now, I am going to add in Towanda as a tie for neat and presentable hair.

Lawd… did Toni just say that Traci’s phone is a New Jack City phone?! I dont think that I ever had a phone that was that thick and huge! And the sucker has an antena! hahahahahahahahaah Oh goodness, my side hurts. I say we start a telethon where we save up enough money to get Traci a smart phone; one that would be smart enough to stop working when it goes out of style…lmao

BOOM! Trina got a DUI? But was this a moment to tell your family? WOWZERS! And she doesnt remember what the breathlizer numbers were? LMAO!!! Wait… Towands said, “If it doesnt make sense, its a lie” LMAO! I am straight up stealing that one! lol….genius! Did I mention that I love her?! She is my second fav! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Trina had to take off her wig and wig cap to take a mug shot! lmao! She looks like a crackhead in this mug shot. Straight up Charliesha Sheen in this bitch. WINNING! lmao! Ladies, this is a prime example that you need to just go ahead and sew your shit in or have it in corn rows under that lacefront….lol.

Now, I would have never put Towanda and Andre together…and I damn sure wouldnt have placed them in a marriage. And then he is sitting at home writing but not selling books? I understand to an extent, because my book has been on my computer since October, but I have a day job…lol. OUCH! Did Andre just tell his wife that he felt like he married his mother? AND THEN this fool just told her that “every man could see themselves with another woman, and any one who says that he doesnt is lying”. WOWZERS!! Boo, I am single, but I wouldnt do it. He is straight living off of you and he needs to bounce.

Taste of Atlanta festival…. yummmy. I remember the good old days!!!! I need to go back down to the A and hang out with the fam.

And it is the sign of a great black household when you see grown women afraid to tell their mothers bad news, especially when you have acted an ass. I remember seeing my aunt get pimp slapped by my great-grandmother because she said “what”. lol. Funny.

And I wish that Tamar would be supportive for Trina. I mean, really…but let the girl be a background singer if she wants to sing in a coverband. I do understand, however that you sing background for Toni….if youstep out, why not be the lead all the time. But to each his/her own. And they thought that this was the moment where they needed to take and intervention type of measure. But of course, having a sister like Tamar would drive my ass to drink too.

Is this motherfucker, Andre, playing video games in another room? LMAO!!! Towanda is more of a woman than I could EVER be, because he would have been gone a looooong time ago.

Gabe, Trinia’s husband, is off the hook. I think that they need to break up too. And this fool said that he is more connected to their Father ( the man who cheated on their mother)!!!!! And Tamar is going to break up this marriage even more just by the shit that is coming out of her mouth! I understand concern, but I do NOT believe that you should make her business your business.  But then again, I dont live in the land of Tamar.

And I love that Toni called herself Julia Childs.

And yes, preach Brooklyn (Acting Coach)!!!! I too think that Tamar is uptight…but I wouldnt have chosen the words uptight. Try, bitch, ghetto, stupid, off the chain…..what? I have more if you want them. Oh yeh, Brooklyn can get it.

What the FUCGE is going on with Tamar and these dot coms!!!!!? Try….shutthefuckupTamar.com.

Dr. Sherry Blake, hmmmm… gonna have to Google search her since Toni feels she is such a great help. And Tamar…the more she protests that Gabe is crazy the more I want to put her in a straight jacket. I personally think that the ONLY reason she married her husband is because of who he is and what he can do for her. I think that is Vincent was just a regular man, she wouldnt have given him the time of day. Every time she opens her mouth it is abotu how much money HER MAN makes, WHERE HER MAN lives, what HER MAN buys….because last time I checked, boo…that is only your money via marriage. So shut the fuck up!

And wow! Towanda is singing Usher all the way to the lawyer’s office. She’s giving Andre some seperation papers. I am proud of her. She knows her worth and she is NOT letting Andre define that.

I just dont understand why they were so quick to want to tell Mommy how Trina got a DUI, but no one would tell her that they didnt like her blackberry dumplings. *SMDH* I get tired watching this show… but I love it.

Information on Dr. Sherry Blake:

* Twitter: @drsherryonline

*Website: www.drsherryonline.com

*Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Braxtons~Burmuda or Bust Tamar in the Face

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 13 April 2011 at 12:04 am

Now you know…… I HAD to write about this show….

Toni– the star, the one we all know and love. Is it me or does Toni’s cheeks look chubby as shit in this episode? And I love her sons, they both are soooo handsome. She makes cute kids. Diezel’s hair… I LOVE IT!!!!

Traci– Funny how they call her the Wannabe!!! hahahahahaah And she lives here in Maryland?

Towanda– The responsible one, and she is Toni’s Assistant. I LOVE HER!!! hahahahahaha

Trina– The party Girl and a back-up singer for Toni.

Tamar– The Diva, who sings back-up, the baby of the family and her husband is the manager for Toni. Wow…. I have sooo much to say.  Hold up, did Tamar just take over the rehearsal?  And she told CiCi, the choreographer, that she thinks that they should do something better. Now, Tamar, honey….when you fix that weave then you can be a star. And quit it already with the pouty lip…its not sexy you look like you at a Sour Patch Kid.

Now, I think that it is sooooo interesting how they all have this raspy voice. I love it.  Hold up… did Tamar just say that she doesn’t want CiCi to teach her any more. LAWD!!! I just want to bust her in the face!!! Hell, if you missed your sisters being there with you, Toni…. just have them meet you at a stop. I don’t even understand how Vincent puts up with Tamar.

Mother Evelyn looks BEAUTIFUL!!!! She doesn’t look like her age, whatever it is, at all! That’s all that I have to say about that.

And it is funny as hell watching Toni be so forgetful..lol. Now I see why Towanda is the responsible. All I have to say is…when I become wealthy and I take my two current personal assistants with me… I hope that I NEVER become that dependent upon them. I want to pay them to get tasks done and not to cater to me. That is the fastest way to piss me off is to do stuff for me, well stuff that I could do for myself. I guess that level of assistance I have yet to attain or understand. It just looks silly from where I sit. But…. if you like it, I love it.

Annnnnnd. I think that Toni would be the first to say that she would prefer a commercial plane and not a jet. Now THAT I have to disagree with….private jets rock. I love it when I have the moments of being on them.

LMAO!!! Trina did not say that whenever Tamar talks it is like going to the city dump. Tamar said she wants to raise and Asian baby girl as a black child and name her Disney. lmao!!!

Wow… Towanda and her husband are roommates? WOWZERS!!! Wait…. I want to bust Tamar in the face for how she discusses her life. It is ungrateful wenches like that which make me wonder if I will EVER get married b/c someone thought that she was worth marrying in her current state and she didn’t have to chain. But they need to talk about how Tamar needs a touch up on those edges…….TCB on aisle Tamar!

LMAO!!! Did Traci turn into a slave from the Underground Railroad when Tamar asked if she would hold her purse…lmao!  But in all seriousness… I want to give Traci a hug. I really understand what she is saying. Because they all put up with Tamar but no one is begging Traci to be apart of the group. And Tamar should be busted in the clavicle the moment that she told Traci she is not Human Resources for Background Singers of America. Really? All I have heard Tamar say Me, My, I so many damn times that Pronoun will not use any of those word for the remainder of this blog.

And it is comical to watch the grandmother Evelyn try to take care of all of all of the children. LMAO!!! Hilarious! But at least she tried.

And…..I got on the phone and forgot I was watching this. But the jist is that Tamar and her husband Vincent are not really speaking and they kept coming back to Toni to talk about it. But wow….they should keep their marriage in their marriage and not include Toni.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sinbad: It’s Just Family

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 13 April 2011 at 12:02 am

WOW!!!! Sinbad has a show!!!!

First off…. Royce is gorgeous!!!! Damn!!!! How old is he? Because yeh, he can get it. *licks lips* And he looks JUST LIKE SINBAD!! *sigh* I still need to figure out how old he is before I get arrested!

In the wake of all the news that I have received today, my soul is shaking and so is my faith, so God knew exactly what I needed because he brought this show to me today.

And wow! Sinbad, re-married his wife Meredith…okay, his ex-wife . Wow… yeh, wow is going to be my word for this episode.  But watching the two of them together is HILARIOUS!!!

Paige….sooooo I am trying to figure out who she looks like. Hmmm… she looks like her mother, I think.

YES!!!! Royce is 22!!!!!!!!!! *Orders a box of condoms!*

LMAO!!! Sinbad talking about how he wants to wear adult diapers so he can pee on himself to get the kids out of the house. lmao! I laughed so hard that I think I had a hernia. LMAO! And how he is talking about these boxes that Meredith tripped over is making me pee on myself. And hims talking about the Porsche that Meredith received as a gift from Sinbad 15 years ago but never drove…..smdh! I swear he is hilarious!!! I can’t take it! I am going to wind up hurting myself just by laughing at this damn show! lol.

I am already in a good mood after watching a few scenes and the show has only been on for 16 minutes.

DAMN that is a gorgeous car! lmao! No, it doesn’t have an old school car phone.  Sinbad didn’t ask for his platform shoes back.  Wow… is he like that all the time? I really am loving this show!!! I think I found a new show to permanently blog about.

LMAO!!! The way that Royce hi-jacked the laptop is sooooo funny! Wait, and then Paige came in too….lol. I swear I feel like it is scripted, but either way it is still funny. I don’t even care if it is scripted. LMAO!did Sinbad say that everybody got a booty!! HE said that even white women got a booty out of nowhere all of a sudden…lmao!!! I think I peed on myself!!!

Sidebar: I remember watching a Sinbad comedy special when I was around 10 years old, it was the one where he does the belt joke. And I was sitting on the couch and unbeknown to me my puppy had peed in front of the couch. Sinbad told the joke about how his mom whooped him and he woke up some time later and I laughed so damn hard that I rolled off the couch and face first into the puppy pee. Yes, TMI, I know…. but that had to be said. Because Sinbad is a comical genius and I missed him. Seeing him reminds me of the good moments of my childhood. So, glad that he is back.  And yes, I did watch The Apprentice, but that was different, this is him in his own element.

LMAO!!! I forgot to write, I was watching Sinbad…..waaaaaaaaait! Monty! HALLELUJAH!!! Okay, Paige, you know how to pick them. I applaud your choice in men. *shivers* Yummy!

Grids: Kids who are not grown but over the age of 20. lmao Sinbad’s new word.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now Sinbad is talking about frustrating his kids is the fastest way to get kids out o your house.

LMAO!! Sinbad said there is a type of woman that he calls a scrimmage woman…lmao! This game doesn’t count. lmao! I need Sinbad to be my dad….lol. But I bet you that he didn’t tell Paige that.

LMAO!!! Did he just say that he was homeless in his own house. And the way that his family is bothering him…..you cannot tell me that was real. I mean, especially Meredith. No disrespect…..but I was annoyed watching her interrupt him.  But watching them talk about their intimacy at the end cracked me up!! lol…lol

I will DEFINITELY be watching this show.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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