Okay, so a stream of entries are coming from conversations that I had with a few of my friends over the Columbus Rediscovering America Day weekend. The topics that pop up are always about male/female relationships and I think several people walk away with a different persepctive….even the guy who’s relationship we think we broke up because we told him his girl was using him….lol. But it had to be true because any time you can get any group of women to come to a 100% agreement on anything, it has to have been an exercise of divine intervention.
One topic that popped up was that of me being a Daddy’s girl, and I am. After hanging up the phone with my mother during the brunch someone called me a Mama’s girl and I said, no….actually I am very much a Daddy’s girl. Now before you get confused, those who have read my blog faithfully know for a fact that my biological father is not the point of this entry. God blessed me with two wonderful godparents who are the best godparents that anyone could ask for. So…the Daddy that I am referring to is my godfather, but he is very much my father. When I have traveled to see him in Minnesota, you can find my dad and I out and about town cracking jokes, having fun, and he even lets me drive his car…. and my daddy doesn’t play about his cars! Late nights I was in the garage handing him tools as he worked on cars or helping him drill pilot holes into the wood he was using to build a trailer. Yes, I am very much a Daddy’s Girl and proud of it.
But much to my surprise, all of the guys at the table rolled their eyes and barked at how being a daddy’s girl is far worse than being a mama’s girl because, as her man, he must now compete with the father. First off…. my name is NOT Oedipus. Secondly, that’s just gross. Thirdly, I don’t live in any of the cross-breeding states. Fourthly, I am not an English Royal in the 1700s. And lastly, I hear you…. but I don’t agree with you.
The guys ganged up on me when I said that yes, there are things that my daddy will always do just the way that I like it. Why did I say that? One of them told me to listen to what he heard when I made that comment. He said that he heard “Yes, I’ll let you cut the grass but my daddy cuts it better.” Or, “You can pick the restaurant but my daddy knows how to cook my favorite meal better.” I then had to break it down that , in my situation, my daddy is a very wise individual and I didn’t mean it that way.
My dad is just that….my dad. He is also a wise individual who is quick to put me up on game for the things guys will do, and he will also put me in check when I play games that females play. My dad made it very clear that everyone will not love like him. My dad is a very affectionate, hugging, loving, and communicating kind of father. Every man is not going to fit into that bill. I remember when he and my mom gave me the book “How to Love a Black Man” and told me to read it carefully…. I still own a copy til this day. It helped me understand that even though my daddy communicates with me the best, I need to know how other men communicate as well. Just because my daddy does things the way I like doesn’t make it better, and just because my man has yet to learn doesn’t make it worse, it just makes it different. Being a daddy’s girl with a brilliant daddy helped prepare me for reality and not a fantasy. My man will love differently and if I in turn love him back then the way he loves me is perfect. I don’t try to measure anyone’s love to my dad’s… they could never reach….because they are two separate kinds of love. So I don’t even try to compare. Whomever I’m dating gets measured on his own scale and I cherish each moment, I learn through each moment, and I love him for each moment that he shows me how he loves , through his way, and in his time. There is nothing wrong with that.
A true daddy’s girl SHOULD know how a man works, his mood, how he will or wont communicate things well, but how he means well all in the same breath. She should know that men could care less about the latest fashions and will never know the difference between pearl and off-white. And she should also know that I love you may never be said out loud, but that a kiss on the forehead, a pat on the back, the sharing of the last bite, and his undying willingness to protect you at all times should suffice in case of emergency or a moment of questioning if you are loved. The things that I learned from my father I have taken with me into relationships. I don’t cook meat in my dad’s vegetarian cookware, I don’t punch the accelerator above 2 in his E Class, I let him go on some very LOOOOOOOONG winded conversations that make my eyes roll in the back of my head but come to appreciate later in a time of need, and when he says he needs a minute….I walk away, but knowing all the while that this is my dad’s temperament and he loves me just the same. My man gets the same courtesy. I am able to separate the two…my dad has my mom to love him in that manner. And did I mention that my name is not Oedipus? So you see, all daddy’s girls aren’t bad…especially if you have an amazing Dad to begin with.
Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter…..but My Dad’s Girl*~
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 