There comes a time in everyone’s life when they will get asked, “What’s up with the change?” or “Why’re you acting brand new?”, to which you should reply, “Define brand new” or “From who’s stand point?”.
I say this because, often times, vantage point can make a world of difference. John Lennon’s wife, Yoko Ono (sp), did an amazing piece of artwork where she does a bullet hole through a glass pane. She makes you look at the glass from both sides so that you can see if you are the shooter or the one shot. She said, “Unfortunately, I was on the bad side”. I can bet my soul I know which side she would have rather been on if she had a choice in the matter. But this artwork is a symbol of life and life’s vantage point.
Recently, while on a vacation with someone who I deemed friend, I watched the vantage point change. And although it was rather subtle at first, I started to notice her behave “brand new”, or at least it seemed that way to me. But was that bad? Well, this morning on Twitter @SimplySandraG said, “Someone asked me why I was acting brand new & in response I asked them why are they still acting the same.” Which made me think….is acting brand new always a bad thing, or can it be a good thing? And I think it depends on what that new behavior is and how it is executed.
For example, If you are a hoe on land… I’m pretty sure you will be a hoe at sea. Not calling anyone a hoe, used term for dramatic effect. But if the condom fits….wear it. There is no switch in that unless you get hit with the Holy Ghost and change your ways before departing the port. But is there really brand new behavior or is it that the revealing of such behavior is deemed incorrect for the current situation? Like the kid who jumps on furniture at home and then the parents pretend to be outraged in public pretending that they’ve never seen their children do this before. I say this because, there are always signs of a person’s behavior, but maybe the situation lends for it to be okay, therefore causing the person to become accustomed to executing such behavior. Thus, when the environment changes, the one who is more keen to changing does so while the other person keeps doing the same behavior and is therefore deemed as “acting brand new”. Confused? I’ll explain further.
If you have a friend who can NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER be on time to save their life unless they are representing themselves, their business, or their family and can NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER respect the time of others (those deemed friends)….then how can you expect them to change when stepping outside of those guidelines just because the environment changes? If everyone caters to such rude and inconsiderate behaviors by changing their arrival times, joking that they know this person is never on time, or re-routing caravans to cater to this person….you can only expect that this person will get use to being catered to and that this behavior is acceptable. You can also believe that the minute someone is smart enough to stop enabling this type of behavior the Tardy for the Party person will inevitably get defensive and think that you have a problem with them because, after all, they deserved to be catered to at all times…. right? So EVEN if they spend 4 nights of a cruise in the stateroom with 2 guys that they just met 3 days earlier (the first night being your birthday night, despite whatever the circumstances may be)……you should be perfectly okay with such “brand new” behavior, right? And even if they hand your stateroom key to a complete male stranger ( 3 days does not a friend & trust factors make) to come check on you in your room because you went missing and they didn’t feel the need to get out of the bed from snuggling with their new cruise guy….you should be perfectly okay with such “brand new” behaviors…right? I mean, after all, you’re the one that is remaining the same, right? Or are they the ones who are remaining the same and you are changing because common sense tells you to do better and therefore your change is making someone else look as if they are acting “brand new”?
*Side note*: THE GIVING OF THE STATEROOM KEY TO A STRANGER BECAUSE YOU TRUST TOO MANY GOT DAMN PEOPLE FAR TOO SOON AND ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A PENIS>>>>IS ENOUGH TO GET YOU FUCKED UP! I DONT SUGGEST THAT ANYONE EVER TRY THIS WHILE ON A CRUISE! USE SOME COMMON SENSE ,PEOPLE! THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING! COMMON SENSE!!!!
If you are confused by this… so am I. lol. But perhaps the environment is what has changed, and both parties are remaining true to their character ( or lack there of) and therefore both parties feel as if the other has changed, when in fact….. they havent. For instance, if 2 people sit in the dark at midnight and one ( due to the dark) appears to have a black shirt on but as the sun rises (environment change) now appears to have on a purple shirt…. did the person really change or did the environment change causing the appearance of change? Meaning, that person hasn’t changed and neither have you… the sun has finally shifted therefore revealing to you something that has been there all along and you are just now seeing it. Like the time I was starting up my own sisterhood, when my top divas (Vice President, Secretary, Event Planner, etc) all saw the new recruits misbehaving, slacking on turning in assignments, and even watched me put them in check. When I dismissed a recruit for not following the rules or carrying their weight, my top divas were right behind me….agreeing with every step & damn near virtually hi-fiving me for getting rid of dead weight. I didn’t cater to anyone; if you didn’t carry your weight you had to bounce. But ooooooooh no! As soon as they started slacking on assignments and not pulling their weight, they had to go. Of course it came up that I had changed. When in fact, I had been the same person, upholding the same standards, and not the only difference had been who was being punished for falling below those standards. They had encouraged my behavior, they told me that I was doing good when I saw a wrong and went to fix it ( I wasnt always the most tactful, I admit but the job got done) So you see, I had not changed, the vantage point did, the environment had changed. So, do you get mad at the person, the behavior, or the environment?
I say blame yourself for not noticing. lol. We often push our better judgement to the side when dealing with so-called friends. We must STOP that. We must hold our friends to the same standards as we do for strangers since those closest to us can screw us over faster than those furthest from us. If your friend doesn’t curse in front of their parents but does at a bar….that person curses. Point. Blank. Period. If this person has bad judgement when it comes to men at home, taking a trip isn’t going to change it. Point. Blank. Period. If your friend is quick-tempered and ready to beat anyone’s ass back home, I suggest you don’t try to come out the side of your neck via text messages during the holiday season…..because you can still get that ass whooped! POINT! BLANK!PERIOD!!! It is an evolution of changing environments and we already possess those behaviors that will be revealed upon entering such situations. It is up to us to pay more attention to others sooner. Hold ourselves accountable for our own actions; be they wrong or right, new or old. And we must not be willing to accept poor behavior from ANYONE at ANY TIME that does not show full respect to us and our situation. Now, go ahead…insert this rule into your life, and watch the ones you’ve been catering to for far too long say that you’re “acting brand new”. Then….agree with them.
So a sexual “pro”, some male celebrities and HOPEFULLY some condoms walk into a hotel room…… LMAO! What follows after that will depend on if you are a smart “pro” or an ignant “pro”. And yes, I said ignant…the kind of person who has yet to earn the missing vowel/consonant. Daily there are business women sleeping their way to the top, street walkers patrolling 18th & K Streets NW better than the Metropolitan Police , and the average ignant female who receives nothing for what she is giving. Who should get more respect?
Disclaimer: I don’t condone ANY of the activities mentioned above, but of course we know that sex sales in this world. Everyone wasnt raised in the church, everyone doesn’t use common sense, and not everyone has the appropriate level of self-pride ( whether too little or bona-fide hubris). This also isn’t as judgmental of a piece as it may appear….but it will state my side very strongly. lol. You may continue….
Saying that one type of pro is smarter than another would have to be broken down via common sense versus book sense. Common sense would tell you to not engage in the acts that objectify yourself, but many don’t see it as such. Book sense would, AT THE VERY LEAST, tell you to make sure that you are getting paid for inviting others, and sometimes, the world into your physical temple. I can respect a girl who is doing something that I may not agree with if she were in fact doing it for a legit cause and were at least sustaining her life by it. I know the church is gonna scream now… but I could understand a woman feeling at her wits ends and stripping on a pole to put food on her table for her kids or to make it through law school on the right side of justice. I say if the church doesn’t like it, get like a Jehovah’s Witness and beat the streets to get God’s message out to the people. A girl can’t make it to the pole if she’s ducking behind the couch in her living room because a Jehovah’s Witness is peeking through her living room’s bay window intercepting her escape route. What I DONT get is the pro that does this mess for -ish and giggles and/or a Gucci purse. Come on!!! You mean to tell me that you think you are only worth a knock off or $1,000?!!!!! Or free pictures for a portfolio that is being seen only by local dudes claiming to be professionals. Or studio time? It both pains and kills me to see girls plastered half-naked to fully naked on the internet knowing damn well they didn’t get paid for it, their kid’s have unmet medical needs, and they are still living at home with their mother. If you are going to do it…. by all means woman… get paid for it.
Disclaimer #2: I would prefer you not do it at all, but for the sake of this blog….continue….
Super Head was the talk of the town before main stream even knew who she was. She had dirt, had secrets, but she hoarded them all until she found the right medium to profit from her indiscretions. She was a Smart Pro. She knew that people were using her for their own personal gains so why not use herself to rise above it, create a source of income that would allow her to be in charge of her own life. Much like the models who have portfolios filled with naked pictures considered to be high fashion, she didn’t reveal what she had to everyone…her body ….maybe, but definitely not without getting paid. She didn’t reveal her most prized assets to anyone who asked her to do so, she smiled for the camera, she danced to the fronts of scenes…but she made a name for herself in her own right.
Melissa Ford is another smart chick… I don’t use pro, because I don’t know what she did behind closed doors…but people took her to be such. But this woman is BRILLIANT! Have you ever spoken to her on twitter? I promise you that your mouth will fall open. She used one avenue to get into the spotlight and then got out because she didn’t need to stay there. She too may have shown some goods every now and again, but I guarantee you that her self-worth made someone’s pockets hurt. I can respect her. Idolize her? NEVER…. but I do respect her hustle.
Then you flip the rock over… and you find the gutter bugs; the leeches; the Patricks to the Spongebobs of the world; The Below- Average Heads….sorry I couldn’t keep that one in….lmbo! You have the Montana Fishburnes & Kat Stacks of the Dumb Chicks R Us sorority that make you do the Scoobie Doo; ” Rue ,Rue Shaggy?” People who see the end results but never processed the struggle that these women above had to go through. These nuts glorify the world, think it is the rite of passage into whatever fantasy they have, but they failed to plan appropriately. Kat Stacks makes me itch. If I were her, THANK THE LORD THIS IS JUST A SCENARIO…lol…but if I were, I would have saved all of the footage, all of the information and gotten paid to release it. But no, the low-budget minded female reveals it shortly after it occurs. This is what I find disturbing. This is pure business law right here, you supply as long as there is a demand and you never bite the hand that feeds you until you are full and can feed yourself after the bite.
All jokes aside, I am not a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but I just want to take every female who feels she has to show her body off in such negative lights and wrap her in my arms and tell her that she’s beautiful. People don’t say it to one another enough….but I want to run up to little girls in the street and hug them ( hell I just might start) and tell them I love them and they are beautiful..just random teens and let them hear it at least once from someone. I want them to see beyond the present moment; it’s not art, it can keep you from getting jobs, it can keep you from friendships, it can hinder you from meaningful relationships, and it could put you in danger from the sickos of the world. I would prefer that I never saw another woman posting barely-there pics at all on the net… but if you’re going to do it… at least get paid for it UP FRONT. Dont post it in hopes of being discovered….because people will discover that you are just another female who didn’t have the wherewithal to demand your worth up front. And I know that somewhere deep down you have GOT to think better of yourself than what these pics , poses, and actions portray. I’m starting at home, from my baby cousin, who at the age of 17 keeps posting pics of her with poses from behind and her booty poking out. Every Facebook & Twitter pic gets viewed by me….she is worth MORE than that and she is beautiful and intelligent and I told her to stop making people think that SHE thinks her butt is the best she has to offer. I will fight this cause until she stops or I die… which ever comes first. I can be very annoying. She’s young enough to where she doesnt take offense to me saying it, but rather thinks I am stunting her innocent fun. She can think what she wants…..I will continue to bug every pic she posts.
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~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 