2011 DMV Awards: Coonstastically Coonerific! Pt2

        So if you read my other blog post 2011 DMV Awards: Coonstastically Coonerific! Pt1 [<~Click here to read] then you already know what happened, but you don’t know how I feel about it.

        Outside of me being pissed that i took the time to prepare for the event, that they didn’t have a place for me to sit, and that I didn’t get to perform ….partially due to the fact that I was running for my life….I was soooo embarrassed! I know this shouldnt be a white black thing, so I will make it a white , black, nigger thing. When I walked into the hotel I was praying that there was no one from my job within a 50 mile radius of this place. Judging by the attire and attitude of people hovering around the entrance this was not the crowd that I would ever be caught dead with. Call it judgement but later activities would prove me correct. There was a veterans seminar going on upstairs and there was a sea of elderly white people dangling over the balconies to catch a glimpse of all the ill-dressed “coloreds” with the cameras flashing and red carpet affairs. One friend even told me that an elderly white woman told him that she was happy that the “next generation was doing something so positive”.  Another gentleman was over heard saying, ” …looks like good, clean fun.” This is what an on-looker thought of the 1,500+ people who showed up to supposedly celebrate one another.

        I was outraged that even from the jump things were not done properly. Black people, we have GOT to raise our standards up higher than what we continue to allow to occur. The line for the registration was at the bottom of the escalators and could have been around the corner where the “pat down” was located. There weren’t any efforts to place proper signage to alert the people as to which line to get in for wrist bands, etc. And if I were to go back, there should have been a dress code for the award show. It should have been church or temple attire to enter this event. Something about wearing different clothes will make you act better for just a little while longer. I felt like I was walking down the streets of Southeast DC, not that I would…..and not that everyone is Southeast is horrible….but it certainly didn’t feel like an award show. EVERY man should have a suit. Call me stuck up if you want, but that should be a goal for every man to save up to buy at least one suit. And this award show would have been the proper place to wear it. Hell, slacks and a button up would have sufficed…anything but the street attire that allowed street activities to occur.

       There was a taste of greed in the atmosphere as well. There were more people in that room than what that space would/should have allowed. I heard that the tables were sold for $500 a pop. Now I am all for making a profit, but fundraise, get sponsors, something! There were too many people walking between the tables than sitting to watch the show. The atmosphere was more on profits than true performance and celebration. I wouldn’t have started the show until everyone was seated and made to respect what the event was about in the first place. This is why people get to behave so poorly at events like this and then come uptown to my event and get their feelings hurt when I show their asses how to properly behave. This shit has GOT to stop.

       The program, aside from misspelled words and names of invited performers, was more about advertisement than to direct and guide the show. Now I know that is where the sponsors go, but how was the show suppose to be ran? Someone could have easily taken a church program and used that outline. I didn’t know which performer I would have gone after or which category I may have performed after. It was all so disorganized.

        But at the root of it all….I had to ask myself if these were my people. The answer, no. My people don’t do things like this. My people know how to act when at home but especially when out in public amongst mixed company. MY people respect one another and even when they disagree they do so in a contained manner. No one should ever know the disagreements that occur inside of one’s house. I finally understood why people who leave the hood sometimes choose to never look back. For once I saw it. I understood the motive behind their actions. I didn’t want to be associated with these people. I wanted to find all footage that had me on it and burn it. I was ashamed to be the same shade of skin as these people.

        I was ashamed that black men felt the need to assert their “manhood” by beating someone up. I couldn’t believe my eyes at the sea of innocent people who were hurt because they thought that being a man meant to jump another person who looked just like them. Looking over the banister of the second tier, I couldn’t tell who the victim was, who the help was, or who the fighters were; THEY ALL LOOKED ALIKE! They looked alike, they looked alike, GOT DAMN IT NIGGAS, YOU ALL LOOKED ALIKE!!! The only thing that separated you was where you resided, who your friends were and that you had different mamas, but I be damned if someone told me that they could tell the difference between these males.

        I am sitting here in my office fighting back tears. I saw older ladies get hit , females being tossed to the floor and thrown on tables to be moved out of the way. I saw a black teen come out of the hotel and film a girl’s mother crying and laughed because he thought it was funny. How is THAT being a man? How is THAT showing pride in who you are and where you come from?How did any of that make sense? The aftermath damn near resembled an earthquake or natural disaster. Broken tables, bottles shatter, chairs turned over, articles of clothing left behind and in pieces….this is something that one should never have to see; something that one should never do to YOUR OWN PEOPLE!

       And maybe I just don’t get it, the hood mentality, but the truth of the matter is…. I don’t want to get it. NOTHING is ever that bad that you have to physically fight to prove your point. I know what it feels like to want to pin a bitch to the wall for talking out the side of her high-yella mouth and trying you…trust me, I do. But I also know what it feels like to refrain because I had nothing to prove to her. Me stomping her ass was a given. Everyone knew I would win that fight and I would come out looking like a bully rather than a strong woman who put this bitch in her place. I know what it feels like to be ostracized by those who claim loyalty to her and her lies in the shadow of something that only she and I know occurred. I know how it feels.Trust me, I know how it feels to have some one verbally come at you and you just stand there and take it. I’ve been disrespected before in a ballroom full of people. And you better believe that my first instinct was to SLICE THIS BITCH UP! But his own actions , my knowing I did no wrong, somehow was enough for me to leave it alone. I even changed my opening speech from “Taalam Acey said it best, there’s a market for niggas” just because I didn’t want people to think that I said it specifically for that nut. It hurt, yes it did. To be attacked whether someone felt I earned it or not…it stung. But just as I could scream that there was a more tactful and respectful way for those dummies to handle themselves, there was a better way for me to handle myself….and I believe I took the higher road. Because when it is all said and done, my life moves on. So what he bumped into you…. your life will move on. So what he is from a different hood than you… so what! YOUR LIFE WILL MOVE ON!  YOUR LIFE WILL MOVE ON!!! None of what happened was worth what occurred.

       Call me stuck up if you want… I don’t give a FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! The only difference between me and these people are the fact that I KNOW BETTER. I had a hard childhood. I wasnt given shit. I literally/metaphorically fought my way through some situations. The difference is that I never once put myself or others in danger to assert myself. When you know better, you do better. So at what point did black people stop knowing better? At what point did beating each other become the norm? At what point did it become okay for people to be smiling and grinning and filming outside of these occurrences? Why wasnt anyone who wasnt hurt upset? Why weren’t they running to the police to nip everything in the bud?I just don’t get it.

       No one will want to come to this award next year, if there is a show next year. No place worth coming would want to host it after what happened this year. And some of these places will be weary to rent out their space to other black organizations looking to build a successful foundation all because these coons decided to act an ass. And no one is willing to tell who started the fight. No one is willing to speak. You better believe that if this effected ANYTHING that was near and dear to me… I would squeal. AND LOUD! I would point out people in the YouTube vids. I’d get the guy who stole the bottle of liquor and admitted to it. I’d slow down every tape and point out the performers who were just on stage before the fight broke out. Yes, your officer…the dude in all black with the locs throwing the chair is apart of the group named ( insert group here).  I’m not afraid to stand up for what is right. The sad thing is… I shouldnt have to be the only one.

P.S. You can tell the high-yella heffa & the nut I said it. I have already said it to them… so go ahead… be a nosey motherfucker and start something up. Its old news. You’ll be the main nigga that my blog was talking about… constantly trying to keep shit going. My opinions are just that. So nigga…..do you.

       Also, tune in tomorrow to read my blog 200 Men Said….Let aMan be a Man[<~Click here tomorrow]. Even though it deals with relationships…. how appropriate that it follows after this blog. It wasnt scheduled, but the universe works in mysterious ways.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*

2011 DMV Awards: Coonstastically Coonerific! Pt1

        You might have seen nigger before, but you aint NEEEEEEEEEEVER seen nigger like this! Yes, I said it.. and what!  What am I talking of, you ask? Well, that would be the 2011 DMV Awards. No, not the Department of Motor Vehicles, but the DC, Maryland, and Virginia Music Awards. TRUST ME when I tell y’all that the only way I could describe this event would be “Coontastically Coonerific”.  WARNING!!!!!!: This is a LONG ASS BLOG POST!

        Let me give you some back history. I was introduced to the coordinator of the event a month or two ago at an industry event party hosted by an amazing diva. I thought that this would be an amazing opportunity to bring poetry to a different demographic who may never travel to where I reside in order to be enlightened by Spoken Word. I even heard that there was a category for Best Spoken Word Artist. Now, this was news to me because I had never even HEARD of the DMV Awards before this moment. So how could there be an award for us when no one I knew was even aware that they were even NOMINATED? Yes, you read that correctly. My #1 ace called several people who were nominated in the poetry category and they were oblivious to the fact that they were even nominated. WTF? So was it a front? Who did they give the trophies to? Just…yeh. So after several conversations I got my big brother on the performance list as well because I thought that it would be good for this group to see a black male performing poetry as well. We were promised emails to give us performance details, when we would go on, directions, etc…..and we NEVER received them. This…..should have been a warning sign.

       So, word on the street to people who I had come in contact with had already warned me that the DMV Awards was full of niggery. After having asked the coordinator, and I quote, “What is the dress code? Is it DC Club trendy or BET Honors?” To which he replied, ” WOW. That’s your call. I’m going for the shock value.” WTF kind of Tom Foolery is that? After hearing that, I was prepared to walk into the prestige kingdom of Niggerdom. I had got my hair done the night before, picked out a mature and sophisticated outfit that would make me one of the few women with the most amount of clothes in the building.

        Upon walking up to the Hyatt-Regency of Crystal City, I could already tell we were in the right place due to the mounds of black people outside dressed in next to nothing. Yes, the fellas were in nothing more impressive than what appeared to be basement party dance-off gear and the females were dawning dresses made for an Uncle Luke video primed for BET Uncut. I am a straight woman who couldn’t take my eyes off the asses of these females whose dresses were inches from the cracks of their asses. I mean, here we were in 40 degree weather and these bitches were wearing Cooch Couture! Women of all ill shapes were set up by other ill-figured bitches. I saw more saggy breasts than a maternity ward at Jackson Hospital. I immediately knew that I wasnt suppose to be there do to the array of ass that was on display. Now having been a chronic sufferer of Donk Deficiency myself, I was a little out of my element…but I digress.

        The press was there in abundance, and so were the hoodrats trying to get their attention. I mean, nominees were taking red carpet picks with their make-up artists. WTF? Where they do that at? (Pardon the preposition ending, but you know what I mean). Judging by the looks of this Flava Flav colored woman dawning Golden Arches colored lipstick… I be damned if I would claim her as my make-up artist, yet alone have her in my red carpet photos. Yes, I had finally entered nigger activity.  But NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING prepared me for what would follow.

        Upon entering the ballroom, being pat down for weapons, twice, …..

       Sidebar: In the line to get pat down for weapons, a guy pulled out a WAD of $100 bills the size of a Double Quarter Pounder and placed them on the table because he was told to empty his pockets. Now, stereotypically…a guy dressed as poorly as he, white-tee, jeans, sneakers, sunglasses inside of a hotel at night-time, and unkempt facial hair and locs, one would suggest that he wasnt suppose to have that kind of money….legally. Secondly, nigga, we are at a hotel for an award show…why the fuck do you have that kind of money on your person? I was prepared to rob you my damn self.

        Now, I found a woman who was assisting with the show and asked where were the performers suppose to sit. Do you know that this woman had enough nerve to ask me if I had purchased a table? WTF!!!! Trick, I was invited to perform for YOUR SHOW, performers don’t purchase tables or seats. You reserve seats for your  performers and presenters and everyone else should purchase a seat. After temporarily sitting at a reserved table, I finally planted my ass in a chair that was propping open the ballroom doors and that is where God had intended me to sit for the remainder of my time there.

        One would think that this was more of a club atmosphere than an award show. People were constantly walking throughout the crowds no one was really paying any attention to anyone that was on stage and half of the winners weren’t even in the building to accept the award. See how helpful reserved seating would be? Niggers parading with bottles of champagne, logo tatted shirts, and drunk niggers galore were everywhere. There was no respect in the room. So the inevitable was bound to happen….and it did.

        After calling for an intermission, I saw people at the front of the room turn around and point to the back of the room. Now, as a black person, it is innate that if ONE person runs, you all run. So when I saw the finger point to the back of the room  my inner hood pounced into survival mode. I turned my head and saw a chair raise up and immediately land on this guy. I took off my 4 inch heels, hooked the corner and was out into the lobby running from the foolishness that was occurring just feet away from me. So apparently this fight broke out: (View at 1:32)

        Yes, THIS is what happened at an award show. Source Awards on repeat. At 3:29 you hear a hood chick proclaim how people were leaving their things and how she had on $100,00 worth of jewelry on. Say it with me now..>WTF?! Why would ANYONE in this place have on a hundred thousand dollars worth of jewelry on? They may have…but I doubt it.  And you immediately see a guy, ON CAMERA, admitting to stealling liquor out of the hotel after the fight broke out. Now I cant say this enough but WTF?!!!

       After the first 4 fights broke out I was in the lower lobby. I witnessed the employee worker get his face damn near ripped off, I saw him pass us with napkins dripping his blood across the lobby floor. HE WAS AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER!!! I saw an older woman who was a vendor sitting at her table get pushed and hit once. SHE WAS AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER!!!  There I was standing there, barefoot, in the lobby of a hotel with a sea of madness surrounding me and not knowing what to do next. I raced all the way upstairs and out of the hotel to be faced with Virginia Police Department decorated in riot gear. Nothing says game over like a VAPD pointing an AK 47 in your face telling you to keep it moving.  If there wasnt foolishness inside, there was bound to be some foolishness outside. This had “accidental police shooting” written all over it.

        We hopped back in my truck and we left with more than 25 police cars blocking any route back to the hotel. There was even a police SUV, a few streets over, with his lights off waiting to catch any more of the madness that may have trickled away from the hotel. What baffled me is the fact that 6, count them SIX, of the guys even recorded in this video in neon yellow shirts were covered in blood, ripped shirts, and bloody faces walked right out the front door of the hotel and passed by the cops. Now, if I were a snitch…. I would have brought attention to them. I would have said, these are the same motherfuckers who were JUST performing on the stage prior to the intermission. But I guess that would go against the hood code, right? Well damn it…. I aint from the hood.

        Read DMV AWARDS: Coonstastically Connerific Pt2 [<~Click here in a moment] to read my lessons learned through this.

       Also, tune in tomorrow to read my blog 200 Men Said….Let aMan be a Man[<~Click here tomorrow]. Even though it deals with relationships…. how appropriate that it follows after this blog. It wasnt scheduled, but the universe works in mysterious ways.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

*Click on Title and scroll down to read comments or to leave a comment.*~

The Game~Kill Kelly!!!!!!

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

Episode 6: Won’t Call it a Comeback

 

Yeh, I am soooooo running behind. No time for a recap… hell, read all of the links above to catch up, witcho ( yes, witcho) late ass.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2 #GameOn Bitches

Okay, so I am running a little late. I just rushed in from choir rehearsal where we are rehearsing for How Sweet The Sound. So, Lord….pardon me for anything that pops up out of my mouth in this review.

First off, someone PLEASE pop Kelly dead smack in her clavicle every time she bugs her eyes out to prove a point! I really did send up a prayer between the third vamp at rehearsal that this episode, since it is Kelly centered, didnt suck ass. I am sooooo praying that it is true, because “I cried to the Lord, and the Lord,He heard me…..and saved me from my troubles” lol. All of you sinners not laughing at that need to find the nearest church and hug it until Sunday.

Wait, Malik is back in rehab? Oh yeh… forgot the dramatic scene at the end of last week. I feel like whooping a few people’s asses as well, so do I too suffer from emotional pain?

And I am not working for E! but why in the hell is Melanie wearing this fugly ass Greek Gone Bad dress with this fugly red purse? LMAO!!! Tasha Mack did NOT call him Ocho Uno…lmao! I wonder if Chad is watching. Wait… I know damn well they just didn’t let Kelly run up and through them like that! I wouldn’t care if I was practicing medicine or not… BITCH, Melanie is a DOCTOR! And then she is still married! So even if her and Derwin fall apart… she has something to make millions off of. Insert middle finger and an extended *Hater* here.

Who is the plus sized off beat bitch in the blue? Did she fuck the producer to get in front of the camera to dance that way in front of Fabolous? And… I noticed before how ill-proportioned Kelly was… but this mid drift top just proved it. Wait… is she REALLY dancing on Fabolous!?!!!!!!!! Fabolous didn’t know what to do with it so he just hit it twice…lmao! WOW!!! Jason called her Flat ass! lmao! Damn, did he just say that he ” doesnt mind that the apple falls far from the tree, just as long as it’s not a pathetic tree that knows how to make its ass clap”? LMAO!!! Jason is sooooooo my favorite this season. He is the one who stayed true to himself.

 Can someone please re-draw the eyebrows on this new Brittany? Oh Lawd!!! I cant take any more!

And I am liking “Jenna”. I wonder if she is a mole reporter for real. Or will she replace Meagan Good and date Malik when he leaves out? Hmmmm… I would love that twist.

Yes, down with Time Out… I dont believe in that bullshit. But I disgress. BEAT HER ASS! Lord… can Kelly get hit by a fucking bus!!! The realest that she is is when she is NOT talking….I know that made sense only to those who are just as frustrated as I am… but damn she use to could act. Again…. grammatical usage that only made sense to…oh hell, you know what the hell I meant.

Okay… why does this reunion between T-T & Malik look like something out of an 80s movie?  All we need is ol’ dude holding a boombox beside the truck. Awww…..Malik got Jenna… but that is rehab booty. And then T-T took Allison back? EWWWWWWWWW You are sharing Malik’s jizz!!! Just nasty. I need BOTH of them to step their game up. I guess you can turn a hoe into chicken truck housewife and crack head into a celeb wifey.

YES, JASON!!! LET THE BITCH GO AND REGROUP!! PLEASE!!! I’ll do the Pitts Dance. See, *Dip, & Pitts, & Dip, & Dip, & Diiiiiiiiip & Pitts!*

Next Episode: Ummmmmmm did Malik just pull a Tom Cruise on Mo’Nique’s couch? I swear he almost fell. Will watch just to see that. But really? How long are the episodes apart?  Love? With the Rehab booty? Really? Oh lawd! And did Med School really just smack the shit out of Derwin. Ummmmm Okay. That’s all I have people. I will do better next week. I promise.

Grade: C+ I see them trying, but any Episode where Kelly has more than a head nod and 4 words, it will always suck unless she can go back to her good acting and cut out the fucking bulging eye ball thing she keeps doing. That is all.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game~ Won’t Call it a Comeback?

Pre-Season 4 Recap:   Dont Call It a Comeback Pt1           

Recap Episode 1: Don’t Call It a Come Back  Pt2                                                              

Recap Episode 2: The Game                                                             

Recap Episode 3: Derwin’s Got Some ‘splaing To Do 

Episode 4: The Game~ Worth Watching?

Episode 5: What Now?

        Okay…. so I am sitting in my office refusing to leave until I can get this recap written up so that I can watch the show in piece. yes, I have to run home and hide all of my personal documentation because my maid comes tomorrow to clean. What? I don’t know that bitch. She can clean but she may steal too. I would hate to have to beat her ass and then call INS. (It’s not racist…I’m part Latina. it’s almost as if I said Nigga and I’m black). So.  Ummm. Oh yeh.

        Last week I was starting to get back into the swing of things. I still need them to pick a few sets to STAY WITH instead of showing us how much money BET is willing to dish out on this show by giving us a tour of local hotspots. The acting is getting better…but it isn’t quite there yet. I’m still hanging in there. I have moved my critique from 4 episodes to one season. that way they can hear all of the critiques that everyone is giving them and try to change them for next season. It is just taking us some getting use to, that is all. I mean, what is there to expect for people who have memorized entire episodes from 3 previous season. So get of my Saber jock strap, will ya!

       I am really looking forward to playing Usher’s “Papers” during the scene where Malik talks to the chick on the steps that looks like Usher’s ex-wife. I really think she may be a snitch to the media and blow Malik’s cover, but I am just speculating. I think Melanie is yelling at Kelly because her acting sucks this season and she should leave. I can’t remember much of anything else… but that just means that I have more to look forward to.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #GameOn , Bitches!

        Not that you care, but I am sitting on a mound of clean clothes that I have to fold. But…. I was praying that the opening would be a little less predictable. Let’s Stay Together is contagious!!!! Dont turn predictable, please don’t! I will sleep with  Kat Stacks unprotected before I allow The Game to get that bad.

        Speaking of bad…. in walks Kelly. Ummmm do stars actually just walk up in each other’s houses? Because Kelly just ALL the way up into Melanie’s house.  I soooo want her to get hit by the very party bus that she just suggested the Sun Beams use.

        Who is the actress that is playing Jenna? Like I said, she looks like Tameka.  Okay, ummmm this scene with the shrink in the rehab clinic just confused me. And with a mound of laundry i the crack of my ass I am unable to find the patience to even complain about it. In short, it was too simple and not much conflict. I think it would have been better if Malik would have gotten kicked out because now it is just too reckless of him to just walk out.

       ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Terrance J’s ASS IS IN THE AIR!!! Can we please feed this motherfucker and stop making him a sex symbol!!!! I can’t take it. I think I have the flu. Bird Chest Flu!!! Speaking of chests… is this the episode of Titty Free Actresses!!! Okay, yes, I am jealous that my tits are too huge to wear a dress lie that… but sweet Jesus ( not Christ) I think we should have a one breast sighting per episode.

       And Malik taking pills out in the open in a club!!!!!!!!!!! FUDGE NAWL!!!! LMAO!!!! That’s why Malik just got knocked the FUCK OUT!!!!! lmao! Where’s Chris Tucker when you need him? lmao!!!!!!! That was priceless. I still don’t like Malik this damn reckless. There has to be an ounce of humanity in him to make this believable. Damn, Robin Givens jacked him up. hahahahahaha. *Presses rewind on that sucker punch* LMAO! Doesnt get old.

       Why do I have a feeling…damn I couldn’t even type it fast enough. Tasha Mack got caught by Dontae Young.  DAMN! Wait, does this mean that Terrance J wont be on the next episode since he just broke up with Tasha? 

        WOW! Kelly Pitts did get breast implants because last season she was flat chested as a bitch! I told yall… one breast set minimum.

        Wait.. is that the same bathroom that Malik broke in the second episode? Okay, so they found a new club to attend? But at least this is a repeat set!!!LMAO!!! Malik running into the stall is fudging HILARIOUS! Wait… that’s not the same bathroom because they walked towards the camera and not out the door behind them. I am soooo confused with set direction. ARHH!

Snap! That was it…… *SIgh! and now this bullshit!

       My Grade: F-: There were three plots going but they took too long to establish and drug alog too slowly. The conclusion of them all was unbelievable. *Sigh* I can’t even find the strength or the free hand, since the other is picking a laundry wedgie, to complain. I WANT THIS TO GET BETTER!!! I know what it is…. whenever Kelly is in an episode, I hate it! I absolutely hate it! Okay, well let me finish folding and hanging these clothes. smh. I need a new closet. I don’t have space. and I have two more loads in the laundry room. TMI.. I know. Dueces.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~