BET Hip Hop Awards 2011~ Cyphers Revealed

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Check out my Prediction: Click here

And the Winners Were: Click Here

~*TURN THE VOLUME UP ON THE VIDEOS IF YOU DONT HEAR SOUND*~

So you watched, you heard, and you were in awe. The cyphers MADE the BET Hip Hop Awards. The cyphers included:

Rick Ross, Tyga, Tech N9ne, Stalley, Soprano, Skillz, Royce Da 5’9”, Reek da Villain, Pill (ATL), Nitty Scott, MC (female indie), Meel Mill ( Philly), Lacrae9 GOSPEL RAPPER!!!), Lady of Rage, Kevin McCall, Kendrick Lamar ( Compton), Joe Budden, Jay Rock (Watts, CA), Gibere Forte, Frenck Montana (Bronx), Estelle, Joel Ortiz (Brooklyn), Dom Kennedy (L.A.), DJ Premier, Crooked I (West Coast), Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes, B.o.B., Blind Fury (Freestyle Friday Winner), Bid. K.R.I.T., Ace Hood, Termanology, Ludacris, Eminem, 2 Chainz, Yelawolf, Wale, Wais P (Brooklyn), Machine Gun Kelly (Cleveland), XV, Chris Sutton, Rico Staxx, & Sean Cross.

BET Hip Hop Awards 2011~ And the Winners Are

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Check out my Prediction: Click here

Just a reminder:

If for nothing else, you should watch for the amazing host, Mike Epps.

LL Cool J is the honoree of the night.  He will join the list of other wonderful legends into the Hip Hop Hall of Fame. This I have GOT to see! I wonder if he will perform….. My request is “Jingling Baby” or “Doing it, and doing it, and doing it well.” But I will be happy with anything. Lol

Performers for tonight will be:

Big Sean, Lupe Fiasco, Roscoe Dash, Wale, Meek Mill, Rick Ross, DMX, Heavy D, T. I., & Wiz Khalifa. And shortly after you figure out that T.I’s parole office granted him permission to perform you noticed that I said DMX…. Yes, DMX AND Heavy D will hit the stage, Lord willing. What? You know how these Hip Hop award shows go.

But what would the Hip Hop Awards be without the cypher line up. Rumor has it that the cyphers will include:

Rick Ross, Tyga, Tech N9ne, Stalley, Soprano, Skillz, Royce Da 5’9”, Reek da Villain, Pill (ATL), Nitty Scott, MC (female indie), Meel Mill ( Philly), Lacrae9 GOSPEL RAPPER!!!), Lady of Rage, Kevin McCall, Kendrick Lamar ( Compton), Joe Budden, Jay Rock (Watts, CA), Gibere Forte, Frenck Montana (Bronx), Estelle, Joel Ortiz (Brooklyn), Dom Kennedy (L.A.), DJ Premier, Crooked I (West Coast), Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes, B.o.B., Blind Fury (Freestyle Friday Winner), Bid. K.R.I.T., Ace Hood, Termanology, Ludacris, Eminem, 2 Chainz, Yelawolf, Wale, Wais P (Brooklyn), Machine Gun Kelly (Cleveland), XV, Chris Sutton, Rico Staxx, & Sean Cross.

2011 MTV Video Music Awards

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As we wait with bated breath….. Lady Gaga comes out as her alter-ego, Joe Caldarone ( looking and behaving more like Andrew Dice Clay, minus the pleather. Or Bruno Mars…either way…lol). I think that this is the most NORMAL that we have ever seen her. Even as she comes out cussing….she keeps us entertained. At least she is keeping the censor guy employed. Lol. I must admit, this is pretty anti-climactic. She goes and sits at the piano. And who is she now? Jerry Lee Lewis? I love that he can entertain, but we have grown accustomed to see her performing immediately.  The stage is phenomenal. Sucks for the people who are practically behind the stage; looks like they will be able to tweet about everyone’s ass. What an interesting rendition of “Something about You and I”. Ummm…did she just spew beer on audience members? I’d whoop her ass if she hit me!!! BWhahahahah Did she fall off the stage when she hopped off the back of the piano? I’m speechless after that performance.

Kevin Hart is funny. WOW!! Did he say that the cast of the Jersey Shore gave everyone an STD? hahahah and he told Lil Wayne to stop skate boarding because he’s black. Smh. And he is not the host, he is just opening? I’m confused.  And Jessie J broke her foot by falling off the stage,.

WTF at Nicki Hoenaj’s outfit. She looks like she got hit by glass, did a tuck and roll into a cotton candy machine, and wore clothes that are too small. And what is in her arm? A rag doll.. And Jonah looks so slim. WOW!!! He looks handsome.

2011 BET Awards

Okay, so, I had a show to do tonight and so I wished that I could have been home to watch it first hand with everyone else and have this already once it wrapped… but that is not my fate tonight. Shout Out to my Muse Café fam for booking a show on the same night as the Sell Out Awards!!!! Smart…lol. So I am picking up where my DVR began. Let’s Go!

So, I first have to say that I find it hilarious that Karmin managed to be on the BET Awards! I AM A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, but if I did it to the Justin’s and Eminem I have to do it to them… DAMN… it’s the BLACK Entertainment Television Awards. So obviously you don’t have to be black, just do our music…lol. Shout out to Paul Mooney…lol. But I still have the utmost respect for them and EVERYTHING they do I will support it! It is positive and they turn dirty lyrics into clean lyrics and I respect that. Now if Busta really does do something with them I will be the FIRST in line to buy it.

Now, @Mattieologie on Twitter said,”Kanye needed to bombard the stage and say Debra Lee’s dressdoesnt care about black people.” THAT IS THE FUNNIEST TWEET EVER!!! When I saw this horrible ass dress I thought back to the Chitterling Circuit when they had the “Mammy” dresses where the slave children came up from under her tent dress. I swear Step and Fetch It were about to break out into a routine. I really don’t like this woman. Ugh.

Look at the TEETH on Lastarr!!! She looks gorgeous in her glam make-over… but those teeth are HUGE!

Okay… Racks on Racks On Racks….The dancers behind him look like retired strippers. They look so broke down. Lol. But at least I can FINALLY understand what the fuck that he is saying. *Fast Forward* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Did Nelly roll up on the stage and create a remix. AND THEN HE HAD THE NERVE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO ALABAMA UNIVERSITY’S BITCH ASS ROLL TIDE?!!!!!!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE, BITCH!!!! Auburn University to the day I die and BEYOND!!! Alabama stand up! I just tweeted mad tweets about it. UGH!!! I don’t like Nelly any more because of that. Smdh.

MARY J!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She almost doesn’t look like MJB! She’s gotten a little thicker so I guess that is why. But she still looks beautiful. Poor Mary, she has never been able to hold an 8 count for longer than 2 bars, but boy can she sing her ass off or WHAT! I love her! I want that metal belt too! WHAT!!!! She brought miss Anita Baker out?!!! I stood up in my own damn house and clapped for Miss Anita!!!! And because I respect some of my elders I will try my hardest not to comment on her dress…just know that I am thinking that it is too short and ill-fitted. That bottom slip is creeping and scaring the mess out of me with these cameras at the bottom of the stage. But her voice is FOREVER ON POINT!!! Jadakiss! Khalid is like the modern day hype man. And Reginae is in the audience next to Drake looking cute in the audience. Okay…. I am not feeling this premier of MJBs… she started screaming. I have a thing about premiering new stuff live.

Awww MC Lyte is narrating it again!

Who are these little kids dancing to Lil Wayne’s 6 Foot 7 Foot?OH SNAP! That was a little girl that did the head spin. B-Girls in the house! All of them combined are 20 years old…lol. But they can dance! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL Nawl! Kevin Hart did not come out there with that weak ass step like he pledged Midget Phi Heightless! Bwhahahahaahh I am cracking up at this. These kids are out stepping his ass! Hahahahahaah comedy! WOWZERS!!! Reginae and Lil Wayne smiled at the same time and I be damned if this isn’t the first time that I thought she looks JUST LIKE HER DADDY! We always see her with Toya, but nawwwww babay, that is Baby Carter all day!

So Little Kevin Hart is the host for this year….. gonna be funny. Bwhahaha He asked Busta Rhymes if he is wearing a brain, because he vest is suspect. Oh lawd! Kevin introduced the “No Man”. Its much like they “Yes Man” of the group except it is the person who tells you the truth about everything and I have a feeling he is about to go IN on his friends. Kevin says: “Fabolous, take the shades off. I’m sick of it; I don’t want to see it any more.” “Trey Songz, stop taking your shirt off. You look like a beige greyhound.” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh lawd I can’t take it. That one almost made me pee myself!!! “Ne-Yo, take the hat off. Wait! False alarm. Keep it on. I saw your head. I saw Ne-Yo’s head in Stomp the Yard and first thing I thought was ‘Take me to your leader’” GO IN , KEVIN!!!!! Hahahahahahaha “Snoop, it’s not legal, I don’t care how much you try to make it legal. Everyone knows what I’m talking about, I don’t need to say it.” “Here’s my problem with Jamie [Foxx]. Jamie got in a fight at an Usher Concert. …..First of all, what the hell was your old ass doing at an Usher concert? Second of all, what song does Usher have that pissed you off to the point that you felt you needed to fight? Was it OMG? ‘If I hear OMG one more time I’m going to punch my manager in the got damn face.’ You’ve got to start acting your age.” “Which brings me to Puff. Here’s my problems with you; I’m sick of the nicknames. …No one cares about the nick names. You know what people care about…Where the hell is Craig Mac!”

I love how Taraji called herself a gadget-gadget girl. The Rep. Wiener joke kind of flop but it was cool that they are viewing votes off of the HTC tablets instead of envelopes.

Best MaleR&B
Chris Brown– Winner
Cee Lo Green
Bruno Mars
Trey Songs
Usher

Okay, so WTF Is up with this broke down look that Chris Brown has on with this chin guard? I’m blown. Did he forget it as an award show? Black people we have to do better. And this dress is NOT cute, to me, on LaLa… I have seen her do better. Her side view’s nice but her frontal is giving me odd shapes.

I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE REED BETWEEN THE LINES!!!!!!! Two of my favorite people coming back on television. $500 Kelsey Grammar has something to do with this…lol.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo, I have to fast forward because someone told me that I would be visually molested by Rick Ross’s titties!!! Can I press charges from home? Sooooo WTF is Drake used via a track when he is in the house? That looked stupid. *Fast Forward. * I wish this nigga [Ace Hood] would pull his damn pants up. Seeing his draws is NOT the business… it makes you look stupid. At least Weezy has on the longest Wife Beater I’ve seen in my life and it covers his ass. AH!!!!!! I still caught a glimpse of his titties!!!!!!!!!! I’m suing BET. You’ll bleep cuss words but wont blur this bastard whale tits?!!!! WTF is wrong with you! Audience Shot: I love how Trey Songz’ shirt says “Happiness is Expensive”. The Smith family is comical to watch jam to this song [Hustle Hard]. Puuuuuuure comedy. Even Will was getting down but Willow was jamming the hardest though.

I am in LOVE with Tracee Ellis Ross’ outfit!!!!!! She is soooooo freaking gorgeous!!!! And Malcom Jammal Warner…. Baby!!!!!

Young Stars Award
Shenell Edmonds
KeKe Palmer
Diggy Simmons
Jaden Smith-Winner

Willow Smith-Winner

Before they announce the winner… Ihave to wonder if this is the first time that siblings ( under the age of 14) have ever had to go up against each other in an award show category. And then I have to wonder…..how will Jaden feel when Willow takes this. I could easily eat my words as soon as I press play, but that is my opinion. Wait… they have a tie!! Hahahaha its Jaden AND Willow Smith…hahaha I think they did that on purpose…lol. But congrats to them both. I bet it wouldn’t have been a tie if it was Keke or Shenelle. Just saying. Awww so cute that Jaden and Willow hugged each other before going up there… *Rewind* Jada & Will look like the proudest parents in the entire world!!!! But WTF is Jada wearing? These zebra inspired pants with this gold top? Really, Jada? I love that here you have two kids who are doing it CLEAN!!!! I applaud them both for not selling out to the business to make it! Your daddy made millions…you can make it too. We need clean art! DON’T CHANGE!!!

Kevin said: “Rick [Ross], if you want to come out and open your shirt up, I feel like you should at least put a sports bra on. It was all over the place; you’ve got to take them down, you’ve got to do something.” “Will, I’m gonna talk about Jada’s pants when I come back. I didn’t forget about those pants.” I TOLD YOU!!!

Bwhahahahah Kevin said about Real Housewives and Basketball Wives: “they let women who have never met each other pretend like they’ve been friends for life.” Hahahahahah So true! “So it has inspired me to make a show of my own.” HEEEEEEEELLLL NAWL! The Real Husbands of Hollywood. Starring Bobby Brown [aka Da King], Kevin Hart [aka Little Trick], Jermaine Dupri [aka JD], and Nelly [aka The Juice Man]. Lawd, after this skit I have seen it all! Hahahahahaha. BWAHAHAH! And then Kevin puts on a shirt that says, “I’m a factor, bitch!” hahahahaha Tammi must be having a fucking field day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahah Okay, I HAVE to give the play by play of this skit, otherwise you wont know why I am laughing so damn hard.

Sitting at the table, seemingly playing cards, are Nelly, Bobby Brown, Kevin Hart, JD, and Anthony Anderson.
Nelly: You, Kev. I’m calling you a bitch, Kev.
Kev: That’s funny, because I see a bigger bitch sitting across from me with an Apple Bottom t-shirt on. Let me tell you something, dude. You’re a non-motherfucking factor, homie. You’re a non-motherfucking factor, dude.
Side interview with Kevin: Why would I think that Nelly is NOT on the juice? Looks like a gotdamn pitbull on a leash. I aint never seen nobody’s neck that damn strong, on a human.
Nelly throws a glass of water in Kevin’s face from across the table.
Side interview with Nelly: (Rubs his face to gather thoughts). Uhhh, he looked thirsty.
Kev: (Wiping his eyes) JD!
JD: Why you keep calling my name?!
 Side interview with Bobby: I started this House Husband thing. I was, you know, the first one to land me one of the big fish. You know, it’s a fishing pole, it’s a broom stick. Either way, you can catch something with it.
Anthony: What?!
(Kevin takes off his shirt to wipe the water off his face because it has gotten in his eyes and this reveals the HUGE tattoo on his back that says Mariah. In walks Nick Cannon while the “Mariah” tatt is revealed.)
Side interview with Nick: He knows how I feel about my wife
Kev: (to Nick) Why the fuck you come back from the bathroom looking like Lisa Raye for?  (Nick throws another glass of water in Kevin’s face)
Side interview with Kevin: Look man, I tried to explain to Nick’s little drummer boy ass what the tattoo was about. It don’t have nothing to do with Mariah. She’d not the only Mariah in the world. I could name another Mariah. (pause and faces as he tries to think of another Mariah but fails). Mariah carry is the only one that comes to my mind…. now.
(Close out of the clip with the mock show’s outro)

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Presses rewind all over again*

Keri Hilson and Laz Alonso…. Cute skit.

Best Female Hip Hop Artist

(It doesn’t take a genius to know that Nicki wont this, right?)

Diamond
Cymphonique
Lola Monroe
Nicki Minaj-Winner

I love how Nicki is taking Weezy and Drake on stage. She ACTUALLY looks decent and cut in this stripped pink dress. Nicki said “Wow, I cant believe I won” and the entire audience laughs at the fact that she really didn’t have any competition….lol. Telling statement of the times of female hip hop artists, isn’t it? But she comes back with a “no, no, no, no.” because she knows why they laughed. And as hard as she tried… we were all ready to laugh at anything she said pertaining to the fact of “she didn’t expect to win”. Bwhahahaha. Now THIS is comedy!

JILL SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She looks just as beautiful in this red dress as she did a few weeks ago when I had lunch with her while she wore a simple shirt and jeans. This woman is flawlessly gorgeous! So the name of the bar is Warm Daddy’s; it the back drop for Jill’s set. HOLD THE FUCK UP!!!! My play baby’s daddy, Idris “I would drink this man’s bath water” Elba just walked into the set! BET why are you playing with my motherfucking emotions?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her voice is amazing!!! I love the backdrop for this song. Beautiful!!!! If you have not gone to pick up a copy of The Light of the Sun, then honey….you are 5 days late! What are you waiting on! And Idris need not sit with his legs open liked that. I am not saved today, besides….I rewound Takers enough during his boxer brief scene to know what he is working with, THANK YOU, LAWD!

And apparently, Idris Elba won Best Actor Award; would have missed that if I had fast forwarded through this commercial. Plus the trailer for The Help, which was an amazing book so I cant wait for the movie!

Helllll nawl! He did NOT bring out the 5 Heartbeats!!!!!!!! I’m never going to sleep. I’m gonna watch that at 5 o’clock in the morning after I finish blogging this! Hahahahahaha. But who was off beat in the back. It wasn’t Duck because he is up front near Church. Oh shit… it was Michael Wright’s off beat ass! Eddie Cane, Eddie Cane. Wow!!!! “So, how does it feel to be me.?” Lol.

Best Group
Cali Swa District
Dirty Money-Winner

N.E.R.D
New Boyz
Travis Porter

Public Service Announcement: I REFUSE to call them Diddy Dirty Money. Y’all are just Dirty Money to me. But I LOVE how they were all dressed up in all white, Dirty Money that is.

The music ministry of Mali Music….? Did I say that right? All the way from Savannah, Georgia. I love the way that he starts out. Interesting.

Best Movie: For Colored Girls-Winner
Best Video Director of the Year: Chris Robinson-Winner

Okay… ummm. Why does Chris Brown have on Mickey Mouse pants? Did his knee caps swell? We’ve seen his dick so I know that’s NOT it. And the 80s inspired shoulder-pad, armless jacket is creepy. And what’s up with the M.C Hammer pajama pants after the wardrobe change at the start of Look At Me Now? Ummm.. I’m is confused-ed….yes, I’m is. And Umm…BET, you missed ALL of his cuss words. Lol. Yo, but the HUGE eyes on the side as Busta busses it!!!!!!! FIRE!!! Uhhhhh Busta is my other baby daddy, after David Banner, because he just gets finer and finer the older he gets!!! Busta could get it from the grave, I swear he could! Chris Brown’s Isolations are off the chain. And the way he jumped off the stage and ended his performance by scaring the shit out of the people in the front row as his feet hurled towards their faces…..classic!

And damn, even M.C. Lyte gets wardrobe changes? Hahhahaha. She looks fab though so I don’t mind….I just noticed.

I saw Pooch Hall twitpic them backstage with Brandon T Jackson. Just wonderful! Plus, HOSEA CHANCHEZ CAN ALWAYS GET IT!!! ALABAMA STAND UP!!! Y’all see how we make ‘em in the south! Hosea is fine enough to stalk if I didn’t already have goals, fear jail, and had a good paying job. I’d snitch on the people who robbed Jesus’ gave to spend 3 hours with him. I just need Hosea, some magnum condoms (I’ve seen the pics. Anything less wouldn’t work….TRUST ME), butter pecan ice cream, a New York Candle, silk scarves, 2 poodles, and scooter. What? DON’T JUDGE ME!!!

Best Colaboration
B.o.B f/ Hayley Williams of Paramore ( I LOVE Paramore BTW) for Airplanes
Chris Brown, f/Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes for Look At me Now-Winner

Chris Brown f/ Tyga & Kevin McCall for Deuces
Waka Flocka Flame f/ Roscoe Dash & Wale for No Hands
Rihanna f/ Drake for What’s My Name
Kanye West f/ Rihanna for All of the Lights

I think that it would suck for Chris or Rihanna NOT to win this category when you were nominated TWICE! But thankfully Chris did win! Bwahahaha Chris said, “Public speaking is not my strong suit.” HILARIOUS!!! Busta took it home as he quoted the song, “ Gotta taste and I gotta grab it, and I gotta cut all through this traffic just to be at the top of the thrown. Let ‘em know we gotta have it!”

Subway Sportsman and Sportswoman of the Year:
Michael Vick and Serena Williams-Winners

Oh lord…. I HATE unreleased songs….even if it is sung by Alicia Keys. I guess that her pregnancy gave her a thing for being on top of pianos. You remember that shit that scared us all? And ummm… why does her hair look like her and Swizz got it on in a broom closet before she was scheduled to come out to perform. Okay, Mama still have baby belly. Don’t you all have personal trainers for stuff like that? Because a wide flat butt is NOT cute… trust me. I am the President of Assless Anonymous. Wait, I thought Kevin said this was a never heard before song? And Bruno Mars is sounding SOOOOO much better than that other performance he did where he sounded like ass. What?! Don’t hate me, shiiit. Hate his vocal couch for not warming his ass up that time. Would it be wrong of me to fast forward through this? AH!!!!! Rick Ross came out! In fear of seeing his tits again… I MUST fast forward this!

This Nick Minaj Barbies and Justin Bieber’s Bieber-fever fans face-off is hilarious!

Best Male Hip Hop
B.o.B.
Drake
Lil Wayne
Rick Ross
Kanye West- Winner

So Kanye could not be there. Was it me or did Nicki sound disappointed that it wasn’t Weezy?

I’m trying to figure out who Diggy looks like because LAWD if that boy was legal I would tell y’all how fine he is. But he did mention the http://www.BET/com/ctmd site.

WOW! Kerry Washington always looks gorgeous. Deidra Sanders, 2 time All-American athlete from Georgetown University. She began the Grassroot Project which teaches AIDS awareness to young people. Howard Gentry, in 1979, he founded Young Blacks in Action, Inc after being frustrated over the lack of positive afterschool activities for Orlando students. We salute them for their efforts.

Is it me or does Big Sean look like the love child of Ralph Tresvant and Tevin Campbell? And what is up with Chris Brown doing the Diddy Stroll? I swear he threatened me to “take that” at the end of the walkway. I did NOT know that the song said, “hit this ass up like its my last”. Thanks BET censors for fucking up on your job! Lol. Wait… was that Raven’s friend from That’s So Raven dancing in the isle? WTF are Disney kids doing dancing to secular music? Lol

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I talked about Ralph and out comes Johnny Gill. Lol He brought out Kimberly Nichole from Seattle Washington. And I would listen to what she is trying to sin but this orange ass tu-tu is throwing me off.

OH SHIT!!! I am going to wake up the entire neighborhood in my suburban haven by laughing at this second clip of The Real Husbands of Hollywood…. bwhahahahahahahahaha
They are all sitting around the poker table again.
Kevin: You know, all of that throwing water and juice on me… that’s one stop. I took those because I was thirsty, don’t do it again. I could have busted your ass, Nick, but I didn’t.
Side interview with Nick: I’m in a new place right now. Zen mode, but I can defend myself.
Bobby Brown: The King use to take Judo back in September of ’84.
Silence in the room

Kevin:
 Okay, Bobby, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about; I don’t even know why you said it. But I know what, I know who you wont fight… Eminem.
Bobby Brown, JD, Anthony, & Nelly: Whoa!
Nick: (jumps up and takes off his jacket) Fuck it! Aight, I’m tired of this. I will whoop Eminem’s butt, I aint scared of him. Matter of fact, I’ll whoop any white boy who’s name starts with an M; Macaulay Culkin, Matthew McConaughey, Melanie Griffith.
Side interview with Nick: The man’s talking about your wife and you cant really rap. Whatchu ‘sposed to do?
Nick: (yelling) I’ll whoop everybody. Bobby, I’ll whoop your ass!
Bobby: What the King do? Hold Up, Hold up!
Nelly: Now that’s the juice.
Nick: (to Kevin) Say something else, Kev.
Kevin: The only thing I will say is…. is that you need to work on your legs. That’s all I’m saying. He’s a little too big up top.
Nick pours an ENTIRE bucket of water on Kevin. BWHAAHAHAH Kevin does the scream he does from his comedy routine, the way he says his son screams, and then runs off in the MOST HILARIOUS WAY I HAVE EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN RUN IN MY LIFE!!!
Bobby: You know the King knocked out Scott Bell back in ’94. Bloooo Bloooop.

THESE FOOLS ARE OFF THE HOOK!!!

I’m straight up telling my age for even knowing who Cherelle and Alexander O’Neal are….lol.

Best New Artist
J. Cole
Bruno Mars
Miguel
Willow Smith
Wiz Khalifa- Winner

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww did he really just Kiss Amber Rose on her forehead. Ummmm it looked like two dudes kissing. What? You were thinking it too!

Awwwwww Nia Long looks GORGEOUS!!!!! I mean, she always does… but she makes a beautiful mommy-to-be.

I’m confused with Trey Songz’ jacket. And he is stripping from the beginning!!! He wasted no time saying, “Fuck You , Kevin Hart. My beige greyhound body pays my bills!” bahahahaha LIRL. One thing about Trey, when I met him a few years ago, you would never believe how thick he really is. He looks very slender but he has some mass to him…sexy. Until….I see this negro’s draws. Pull ya pants up negro! Look at Queen Latifah singing along. Wait…t he timing of this transition was HILARIOUS!!! If you have this on your DVR…rewind it. Right when Trey says, “Even I need a little motivation” the male dancer for Kelly Rowland’s performance rolls up behind, in the background, and props his legs open right beside Trey’s right side ( your left if you’re looking at the screen, which you are)….hahahahahahah Wrong camera angle, BET….but thanks for the laugh! *rewind*

Okay, I really am a Kelly Ro fan, yes I am. …..but she has always had this delayed rhythm. I almost want to tell her not to dance and just sing. But I am loving this hat, circa Mary J Blige No More Haters. I am loving that she is singing live!!!! BEAUTIFUL! I want her shoes!! Damn…. This break down!!! *licks lips!* Did she rob a male strip club in L.A. for these dancers? Uhmph. Okay, WTF was that nose-bleed section camera shot for?!!!! You mean to tell me that you switched so we couldn’t see Trey pat Kelly’s ass? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!? You INVENTED UNCUT?!!!!! Wait… was Trey really on K-Ro like that as they went down into the trap floor?!!!

I stand and SALUTE the men and women of our Armed Forces!!!! As a military kid… I will FOREVER salute you! Thank you!

Here comes Debra Lee with this mammy Dress! I really hate this woman. *Fast Forward*

State Farm Humanitarian Award: Steve Harvey
Best International Act (UK): Tinie TempahWinner
Best International Act ( Africa): 2Face Idibia/ D’Banj (NAIJA STAND UP!!!!)Winner

The tribute to Bishop Walter Hawkins was absolutely wonderful. I almost felt bad for cussing just a few sentences earlier. But then I saw Nicki Minaj pretending to know the lyrics to Thank You and I laughed too hard to feel remorse. I grew up on this song! You better go ahead and sang that son Deitrick!!! If Tye Tribbet comes out… I’m gonna have church in my room. OH SNAP!!! Mary Mary!!! Donnie was enough, but they are trying to save the entire audience…. TINA BETTER BLOW!!!

OhLAWD.org! Here come The Braxtons!! I love how Toni came out first though. And WTF does Tamar have on? Did she and Toni not get the “we’re wearing white dresses” memo?

Best Gospel Artist
Mary Mary-Winner

Miss Gladys Knight!!!!! She still looks beautiful I tell you black doesn’t even contemplate cracking! Oh yeh… she is honoring Patti LaBelle. Patti, Patti look amazing!!!!! I wonder if Patti will come out of those shoes tonight? Lol. Y’all know that she is good for it. Hahahaha I love how they showed her kicking off her shoes after I said it…lol. I told you!!! YOU BETTER SANG IT, PATTI! Wait… lmao!! That is Cee Lo Green….hahahahaha All I saw from a distance was the hat! But his voice speaks perfectly. I’m gonna need for his voice to stop going out like my co-pastor after the spirit hits her during the sermon. But somebody loves you baaaaaaaaaaaaaby! Wait… all I heard was Cee Lo say : Don’t act like you motherfuckers bleeeeeeeeeep” lmao! Marsha Ambroisa…….beautiful. “If you only knew”….. how perfectly this song fist Marsha’s voice. And out come Mother Shirley Ceasar!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’all her husband use to be the Archbishop over my church until my Bishop tool over… so we are bound to see her show up in the pews from time to time. Mother Shirley Ceasar is sanging the life out of this song….yes, sanging!!! Okay. I can’t cuss any more in this blog after this…..unless Debra Lee shows back up. Mother Ceasar looks like an angel or fairy godmother, doesn’t she? Yep, Patti STILL sounds PHENOMENAL!!!!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did the girl, Tiffany Green ( some contest winner) just say that the CoCa Cola Viewer’s Choice Award winner was Chris Brown’s Look At Me Now then retract it and say Rihanna’s What’s My Name?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasped so hard, along with the audience, in my room I had to go to the bathroom to take some Chloroseptic!!!! Where they do that at?!!! Wasn’t her tablet working? She looked like she was squinting at the teleprompter. I’m so confused!!!! *Rewind* Yep, like Terrance J & Drake said, “This is awkward”. Who messed that up? And then they said that the winner was Drake’s What’s My Name. I did mention that I was confused, right? WOW!!!! Did Tiffany mess up or did the teleprompter mess up? Tiffany looks so confused. WOW!!!

Cali Swag District came with Doug E Fresh to remember M Bone and Nate Dogg. Rest in peace. Snoop and Warren G come for Nate Dogg I LOVE how Queen Latifah got to do Gil Scott Herron’s famous piece. I will ALWAYS cherish the time I spent with him before I opened for him in the summer of 2009. That was one BRILLIANT man. Ledisi does Tina Marie.

Lord…..it is 3:36 am and I have to be AT work in 5 hours….soooooo. I’m going to bed and then I will finish blogging tomorrow. Yeh….. G-night/morn….which ever coast you’re on…lol

Oh snap! Another skit for the Real House Husbands of Hollywood!!!!!

Side interview with Kevin: I found me a nice, healthy, wholesome woman that’s sweet….                                                                        

In walks Tammi Roman from Basketball Wives

Tammi: Where’s Kevin?

Nelly & JD: Oh Shit!

Tammi: Oh shit is right. I said, where is Kevin?

Side interview with Kev: …..Kind hearted

Tammi: JD! Where’s Kevin, witcha lil’ ass?

Side interview with Kev: ……She has the voice of an angel

Tammi: An FYI, he is taller than you.

JD stands up from the table as if to confront Tammi

Tammi: (to JD) Okay? So what? Because I can fit your little ass in this purse

Side interview with Kev: ….and I thank God for this woman….EVERY day.

Tammi: Nick, I want to know where Kevin is and I need you to be talking now! Do me a favor, tell Mariah do not tweet me when I pop that ass. Cause if I find out that any one of y’all have but a hand on my baby, Kevin, its gonna be on and crack-a-lackin’ up in here. KEVIN!

Kevin: (from far away w/ a voice that sounds like he’s been crying) I’m in the back

Tammi: Mmmmm Hmmmm. He’s in the back. You better hope that aint NOTHING wrong with him. I brought Big Bertha for y’all asses.

JD, Nelly, Bobby, and Anthony get up and run from the table and out of the house before Tammi comes back.

Side interview with Kev & Tammi: Yeh, I called my Lady! So what?

 

Lmao!!! These fools right here! I really need this to become a show! Kevin has started something right about now!

Whiz Khalifa begins to walk up and present and then Kevin comes out as Chocolate Drop. lmao! You need to Google his YouTube vids. He is cracking me up. The top of his head comes to Khalifa’s arm pits…lol. Kevin looks like somebody’s little brother…lol.. I cant stop laughing!!!! I just put the Drake performance on Play-Fast Forward where you can still hear the words…. the song is STILL hot at this speed. You should try it. lol.

Ne-Yo comes out and introduces Beyonce. I mean, I wondered when she was coming on, but I guess I should have known that they would save the best for last. Even if she is all the way over in England performing at the Glastonbury Music Festival. I want the outfit of the pieanist behind her. So cute. I bet that Lisa Raye is eyeballing this white ensemble too. lol. I want Beyonce’s shoes….cute!!!! I am trying to think back to a time when Beyonce performed in something other than a swimsuit. I think it has been years since she’s worn pants or longer bottoms…lol. What? I’m just saying…we could be her gynocologists at this point. We’ve seen her crotch from every angle. And then she decides to do a song off her new album called The End of Time. Didnt I already tell you how I feel about performing new songs. Thanks camera man for being in her crotch…. I told you! Ummm… why was the black girl in the suidence singin along? Ummm is this out yet? But I do like this song…. so she gets a pass.

The commercial came back saing “In Loving Memory of John Cossette: 1957-2011”. I am going to do some research to figure that out.

Also, Kevin brought Chris Brown out to address the whole Viewer’s Choice Award issue. Chris did win the award and Tiffany and the tablet were correct.  Chris also won the Fandamonium award. Now, if Kev falls off this segway I am laughing my ass off. And where did they et this bike for Chris from?  And why does Kev have a helmet on? hahahaha funny. Okay, this show had its funny moments but kev was the funniest host. Je can come back.

2011 DMV Awards: Coonstastically Coonerific! Pt2

        So if you read my other blog post 2011 DMV Awards: Coonstastically Coonerific! Pt1 [<~Click here to read] then you already know what happened, but you don’t know how I feel about it.

        Outside of me being pissed that i took the time to prepare for the event, that they didn’t have a place for me to sit, and that I didn’t get to perform ….partially due to the fact that I was running for my life….I was soooo embarrassed! I know this shouldnt be a white black thing, so I will make it a white , black, nigger thing. When I walked into the hotel I was praying that there was no one from my job within a 50 mile radius of this place. Judging by the attire and attitude of people hovering around the entrance this was not the crowd that I would ever be caught dead with. Call it judgement but later activities would prove me correct. There was a veterans seminar going on upstairs and there was a sea of elderly white people dangling over the balconies to catch a glimpse of all the ill-dressed “coloreds” with the cameras flashing and red carpet affairs. One friend even told me that an elderly white woman told him that she was happy that the “next generation was doing something so positive”.  Another gentleman was over heard saying, ” …looks like good, clean fun.” This is what an on-looker thought of the 1,500+ people who showed up to supposedly celebrate one another.

        I was outraged that even from the jump things were not done properly. Black people, we have GOT to raise our standards up higher than what we continue to allow to occur. The line for the registration was at the bottom of the escalators and could have been around the corner where the “pat down” was located. There weren’t any efforts to place proper signage to alert the people as to which line to get in for wrist bands, etc. And if I were to go back, there should have been a dress code for the award show. It should have been church or temple attire to enter this event. Something about wearing different clothes will make you act better for just a little while longer. I felt like I was walking down the streets of Southeast DC, not that I would…..and not that everyone is Southeast is horrible….but it certainly didn’t feel like an award show. EVERY man should have a suit. Call me stuck up if you want, but that should be a goal for every man to save up to buy at least one suit. And this award show would have been the proper place to wear it. Hell, slacks and a button up would have sufficed…anything but the street attire that allowed street activities to occur.

       There was a taste of greed in the atmosphere as well. There were more people in that room than what that space would/should have allowed. I heard that the tables were sold for $500 a pop. Now I am all for making a profit, but fundraise, get sponsors, something! There were too many people walking between the tables than sitting to watch the show. The atmosphere was more on profits than true performance and celebration. I wouldn’t have started the show until everyone was seated and made to respect what the event was about in the first place. This is why people get to behave so poorly at events like this and then come uptown to my event and get their feelings hurt when I show their asses how to properly behave. This shit has GOT to stop.

       The program, aside from misspelled words and names of invited performers, was more about advertisement than to direct and guide the show. Now I know that is where the sponsors go, but how was the show suppose to be ran? Someone could have easily taken a church program and used that outline. I didn’t know which performer I would have gone after or which category I may have performed after. It was all so disorganized.

        But at the root of it all….I had to ask myself if these were my people. The answer, no. My people don’t do things like this. My people know how to act when at home but especially when out in public amongst mixed company. MY people respect one another and even when they disagree they do so in a contained manner. No one should ever know the disagreements that occur inside of one’s house. I finally understood why people who leave the hood sometimes choose to never look back. For once I saw it. I understood the motive behind their actions. I didn’t want to be associated with these people. I wanted to find all footage that had me on it and burn it. I was ashamed to be the same shade of skin as these people.

        I was ashamed that black men felt the need to assert their “manhood” by beating someone up. I couldn’t believe my eyes at the sea of innocent people who were hurt because they thought that being a man meant to jump another person who looked just like them. Looking over the banister of the second tier, I couldn’t tell who the victim was, who the help was, or who the fighters were; THEY ALL LOOKED ALIKE! They looked alike, they looked alike, GOT DAMN IT NIGGAS, YOU ALL LOOKED ALIKE!!! The only thing that separated you was where you resided, who your friends were and that you had different mamas, but I be damned if someone told me that they could tell the difference between these males.

        I am sitting here in my office fighting back tears. I saw older ladies get hit , females being tossed to the floor and thrown on tables to be moved out of the way. I saw a black teen come out of the hotel and film a girl’s mother crying and laughed because he thought it was funny. How is THAT being a man? How is THAT showing pride in who you are and where you come from?How did any of that make sense? The aftermath damn near resembled an earthquake or natural disaster. Broken tables, bottles shatter, chairs turned over, articles of clothing left behind and in pieces….this is something that one should never have to see; something that one should never do to YOUR OWN PEOPLE!

       And maybe I just don’t get it, the hood mentality, but the truth of the matter is…. I don’t want to get it. NOTHING is ever that bad that you have to physically fight to prove your point. I know what it feels like to want to pin a bitch to the wall for talking out the side of her high-yella mouth and trying you…trust me, I do. But I also know what it feels like to refrain because I had nothing to prove to her. Me stomping her ass was a given. Everyone knew I would win that fight and I would come out looking like a bully rather than a strong woman who put this bitch in her place. I know what it feels like to be ostracized by those who claim loyalty to her and her lies in the shadow of something that only she and I know occurred. I know how it feels.Trust me, I know how it feels to have some one verbally come at you and you just stand there and take it. I’ve been disrespected before in a ballroom full of people. And you better believe that my first instinct was to SLICE THIS BITCH UP! But his own actions , my knowing I did no wrong, somehow was enough for me to leave it alone. I even changed my opening speech from “Taalam Acey said it best, there’s a market for niggas” just because I didn’t want people to think that I said it specifically for that nut. It hurt, yes it did. To be attacked whether someone felt I earned it or not…it stung. But just as I could scream that there was a more tactful and respectful way for those dummies to handle themselves, there was a better way for me to handle myself….and I believe I took the higher road. Because when it is all said and done, my life moves on. So what he bumped into you…. your life will move on. So what he is from a different hood than you… so what! YOUR LIFE WILL MOVE ON!  YOUR LIFE WILL MOVE ON!!! None of what happened was worth what occurred.

       Call me stuck up if you want… I don’t give a FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! The only difference between me and these people are the fact that I KNOW BETTER. I had a hard childhood. I wasnt given shit. I literally/metaphorically fought my way through some situations. The difference is that I never once put myself or others in danger to assert myself. When you know better, you do better. So at what point did black people stop knowing better? At what point did beating each other become the norm? At what point did it become okay for people to be smiling and grinning and filming outside of these occurrences? Why wasnt anyone who wasnt hurt upset? Why weren’t they running to the police to nip everything in the bud?I just don’t get it.

       No one will want to come to this award next year, if there is a show next year. No place worth coming would want to host it after what happened this year. And some of these places will be weary to rent out their space to other black organizations looking to build a successful foundation all because these coons decided to act an ass. And no one is willing to tell who started the fight. No one is willing to speak. You better believe that if this effected ANYTHING that was near and dear to me… I would squeal. AND LOUD! I would point out people in the YouTube vids. I’d get the guy who stole the bottle of liquor and admitted to it. I’d slow down every tape and point out the performers who were just on stage before the fight broke out. Yes, your officer…the dude in all black with the locs throwing the chair is apart of the group named ( insert group here).  I’m not afraid to stand up for what is right. The sad thing is… I shouldnt have to be the only one.

P.S. You can tell the high-yella heffa & the nut I said it. I have already said it to them… so go ahead… be a nosey motherfucker and start something up. Its old news. You’ll be the main nigga that my blog was talking about… constantly trying to keep shit going. My opinions are just that. So nigga…..do you.

       Also, tune in tomorrow to read my blog 200 Men Said….Let aMan be a Man[<~Click here tomorrow]. Even though it deals with relationships…. how appropriate that it follows after this blog. It wasnt scheduled, but the universe works in mysterious ways.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*

2011 DMV Awards: Coonstastically Coonerific! Pt1

        You might have seen nigger before, but you aint NEEEEEEEEEEVER seen nigger like this! Yes, I said it.. and what!  What am I talking of, you ask? Well, that would be the 2011 DMV Awards. No, not the Department of Motor Vehicles, but the DC, Maryland, and Virginia Music Awards. TRUST ME when I tell y’all that the only way I could describe this event would be “Coontastically Coonerific”.  WARNING!!!!!!: This is a LONG ASS BLOG POST!

        Let me give you some back history. I was introduced to the coordinator of the event a month or two ago at an industry event party hosted by an amazing diva. I thought that this would be an amazing opportunity to bring poetry to a different demographic who may never travel to where I reside in order to be enlightened by Spoken Word. I even heard that there was a category for Best Spoken Word Artist. Now, this was news to me because I had never even HEARD of the DMV Awards before this moment. So how could there be an award for us when no one I knew was even aware that they were even NOMINATED? Yes, you read that correctly. My #1 ace called several people who were nominated in the poetry category and they were oblivious to the fact that they were even nominated. WTF? So was it a front? Who did they give the trophies to? Just…yeh. So after several conversations I got my big brother on the performance list as well because I thought that it would be good for this group to see a black male performing poetry as well. We were promised emails to give us performance details, when we would go on, directions, etc…..and we NEVER received them. This…..should have been a warning sign.

       So, word on the street to people who I had come in contact with had already warned me that the DMV Awards was full of niggery. After having asked the coordinator, and I quote, “What is the dress code? Is it DC Club trendy or BET Honors?” To which he replied, ” WOW. That’s your call. I’m going for the shock value.” WTF kind of Tom Foolery is that? After hearing that, I was prepared to walk into the prestige kingdom of Niggerdom. I had got my hair done the night before, picked out a mature and sophisticated outfit that would make me one of the few women with the most amount of clothes in the building.

        Upon walking up to the Hyatt-Regency of Crystal City, I could already tell we were in the right place due to the mounds of black people outside dressed in next to nothing. Yes, the fellas were in nothing more impressive than what appeared to be basement party dance-off gear and the females were dawning dresses made for an Uncle Luke video primed for BET Uncut. I am a straight woman who couldn’t take my eyes off the asses of these females whose dresses were inches from the cracks of their asses. I mean, here we were in 40 degree weather and these bitches were wearing Cooch Couture! Women of all ill shapes were set up by other ill-figured bitches. I saw more saggy breasts than a maternity ward at Jackson Hospital. I immediately knew that I wasnt suppose to be there do to the array of ass that was on display. Now having been a chronic sufferer of Donk Deficiency myself, I was a little out of my element…but I digress.

        The press was there in abundance, and so were the hoodrats trying to get their attention. I mean, nominees were taking red carpet picks with their make-up artists. WTF? Where they do that at? (Pardon the preposition ending, but you know what I mean). Judging by the looks of this Flava Flav colored woman dawning Golden Arches colored lipstick… I be damned if I would claim her as my make-up artist, yet alone have her in my red carpet photos. Yes, I had finally entered nigger activity.  But NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING prepared me for what would follow.

        Upon entering the ballroom, being pat down for weapons, twice, …..

       Sidebar: In the line to get pat down for weapons, a guy pulled out a WAD of $100 bills the size of a Double Quarter Pounder and placed them on the table because he was told to empty his pockets. Now, stereotypically…a guy dressed as poorly as he, white-tee, jeans, sneakers, sunglasses inside of a hotel at night-time, and unkempt facial hair and locs, one would suggest that he wasnt suppose to have that kind of money….legally. Secondly, nigga, we are at a hotel for an award show…why the fuck do you have that kind of money on your person? I was prepared to rob you my damn self.

        Now, I found a woman who was assisting with the show and asked where were the performers suppose to sit. Do you know that this woman had enough nerve to ask me if I had purchased a table? WTF!!!! Trick, I was invited to perform for YOUR SHOW, performers don’t purchase tables or seats. You reserve seats for your  performers and presenters and everyone else should purchase a seat. After temporarily sitting at a reserved table, I finally planted my ass in a chair that was propping open the ballroom doors and that is where God had intended me to sit for the remainder of my time there.

        One would think that this was more of a club atmosphere than an award show. People were constantly walking throughout the crowds no one was really paying any attention to anyone that was on stage and half of the winners weren’t even in the building to accept the award. See how helpful reserved seating would be? Niggers parading with bottles of champagne, logo tatted shirts, and drunk niggers galore were everywhere. There was no respect in the room. So the inevitable was bound to happen….and it did.

        After calling for an intermission, I saw people at the front of the room turn around and point to the back of the room. Now, as a black person, it is innate that if ONE person runs, you all run. So when I saw the finger point to the back of the room  my inner hood pounced into survival mode. I turned my head and saw a chair raise up and immediately land on this guy. I took off my 4 inch heels, hooked the corner and was out into the lobby running from the foolishness that was occurring just feet away from me. So apparently this fight broke out: (View at 1:32)

        Yes, THIS is what happened at an award show. Source Awards on repeat. At 3:29 you hear a hood chick proclaim how people were leaving their things and how she had on $100,00 worth of jewelry on. Say it with me now..>WTF?! Why would ANYONE in this place have on a hundred thousand dollars worth of jewelry on? They may have…but I doubt it.  And you immediately see a guy, ON CAMERA, admitting to stealling liquor out of the hotel after the fight broke out. Now I cant say this enough but WTF?!!!

       After the first 4 fights broke out I was in the lower lobby. I witnessed the employee worker get his face damn near ripped off, I saw him pass us with napkins dripping his blood across the lobby floor. HE WAS AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER!!! I saw an older woman who was a vendor sitting at her table get pushed and hit once. SHE WAS AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER!!!  There I was standing there, barefoot, in the lobby of a hotel with a sea of madness surrounding me and not knowing what to do next. I raced all the way upstairs and out of the hotel to be faced with Virginia Police Department decorated in riot gear. Nothing says game over like a VAPD pointing an AK 47 in your face telling you to keep it moving.  If there wasnt foolishness inside, there was bound to be some foolishness outside. This had “accidental police shooting” written all over it.

        We hopped back in my truck and we left with more than 25 police cars blocking any route back to the hotel. There was even a police SUV, a few streets over, with his lights off waiting to catch any more of the madness that may have trickled away from the hotel. What baffled me is the fact that 6, count them SIX, of the guys even recorded in this video in neon yellow shirts were covered in blood, ripped shirts, and bloody faces walked right out the front door of the hotel and passed by the cops. Now, if I were a snitch…. I would have brought attention to them. I would have said, these are the same motherfuckers who were JUST performing on the stage prior to the intermission. But I guess that would go against the hood code, right? Well damn it…. I aint from the hood.

        Read DMV AWARDS: Coonstastically Connerific Pt2 [<~Click here in a moment] to read my lessons learned through this.

       Also, tune in tomorrow to read my blog 200 Men Said….Let aMan be a Man[<~Click here tomorrow]. Even though it deals with relationships…. how appropriate that it follows after this blog. It wasnt scheduled, but the universe works in mysterious ways.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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