Let’s Stay Together…. Kill Yourself Ep4

 

Episode 1: Or Not

Episode 2: Filing for a Divorce

Episode 3: Simon Says

Okay, soooo I am slow as hell. Queen Latifah is the executive producer of this show. Dana and I literally share a cousin… true shit, put it on my mama….but I have to raise my eyebrow at my distant cousin’s show.

Starting the show off in the bedroom AGAIN!!!!? This is becoming boringly, yes…boringly, predictable. Surprise me! Switch it up in Episode 5…. start them out in the kitchen. Its called Let’s Stay Together and not Let’s Wake up in Bed Together. I mean there is no excitement in this. I promise you I am going to bash this show with no regret if every episode opens with them in bed. Sorry, cuz.

Okay… I actually laughed at the “Big Tooth Bastard” joke…. but is this her real accent or a horrible attempt at a southern accent? My friend told me that they are in Atlanta. I am still looking for a sign that verifies this. And what does the wife, Tasha, do for a living? AND WHAT THE FUCK DO THEIR KIDS LOOK LIKE?!!! Where living children not budgeted for? These invisible children are what is also making this a horrible show for me. They are always in the back room or hidden by a rickety double baby stroller. I am starting to belive that the kid scenario is slowing down the plot. They could have been married without children and then a pregnancy could have been written in later. Something, anything than what they are offering me.

*SCREAM* 15 minutes into the show and I still have no clue what the overall theme of this show is. Is it the engaged couple staying together… or is it that Kita is actually responsible? I have no clue what the tying theme is.

I can’t even laugh at Tichina Arnold. AND TICHINIA IS ALWAYS HILARIOUS!!! And…. I knew a girl whose aunt use to be a stripper and wound up being a minister. Oh LORD!!!! I am bored to tears. Nope…. I am bored to reincarnation. You know I am bored when I notice that Tasha’s roots are 1B and her ponytail is CLEARLY a 2.  Shoot me now…. not even Tichina can save this show. Yall, I zoned out so hard that I started answering emails. I forgot I was watching it on purpose…lmao! What is this, slow ass plot night for BET sitcoms? I’d rather watch Precious & For Colored Girls rape scenes with my eyelids taped open while being assaulted in the butt by the clown from the movie IT than to be put through another week of this hot mess!

YES!!!! *does somersault complete with a split* THE DAMN SHOW IS OVER!!!!

Overall Grade: Z-. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN FROM THAT EPISODE?!!! It was pointless. I can’t get those 30 minutes of my life back. You can rob me, shot me in the forehead….but dont waste my motherfucking time!!!! DONT WASTE MY MOTHERFUCKIN TIME! Especially when I am trying to support you! So, was I suppose to learn to hate on a woman who came into my house and help me out? Was I suppose to learn that pre-marital counseling is pointless? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN?! Oh lawd, hold me back! I want to rant for 30 minutes just so I can feel fucking productive.  I am seriously pissed that I watched that bullshit! Now I need to go and drink after that bullshit! Yes, BULLSHIIIIIIIT!

Dont even fucking ask me to comment on the preview for next week’s episode.Because I’m mad I’ll have to watch it just to blog about it.  *mumbles under breath and hits save*

P.S. Acting 101… play the truth and not the words. What is the intent of what you want to relay? Playing the words are making these people caracitures. I HATE IT! I want to see this show do well, but you’ve GOT to give me something to work with. People who are predicatable are boring as hell! Make the fiancee a doctor who is somewhat proper and geeky but isnt so far out of the loop that itisnt believable. Let her be able to sing opera and not soul. Let Kita…what does she do anyway? …let her be the hood sister but an educated and not the annoying one that you press mute on. There are Soooooooooooo many things that I could change. Just give me TRUTH!!! Not your interpretation of comedy. And Scene! (P.P.S. I’m not proof-reading this post)

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together….Filing for a Divorce

        Still can’t get enough of this mess? Wonder what happened last week, if you missed it? Well you didn’t miss much. I still can’t remember what happened without having to see it on my DVR. But you can read my critique from last week. Click Here: Let’s Stay Together…Or Not. Well 3.5 MILLION people ( I guess I was a part of this) managed to watch this second episode. They loss just shy of a MILLION viewers from their last week’s total of 4.4 Million viewers. America isn’t falling for it. You just don’t LOSE a Million people, you might see them in the distance, but you just don’t LOSE a MILLION people. And I say MILLION in my best Austin Powers’ voice possible. MILLION. lmao. But I digress….. back to the reason why we are all gathered here today.

        WHERE THE HELL DID THE TWINS COME FROM? I’m pretty sure that the last episode I thought that there was just a married couple who went out, never mentioned the kids, and almost seemed single. Was there not enough budget to inform us of invisible twins? Wait… did this negro just drink Gatorade for round two of sex?! hahahahah

        I’m so conflicted about this cast and the script that I am wondering should I even bother writing a critique past this week. I’m trying to be supportive in a ” nigga I shot your mama so you could have her life insurance” kind of way, but the writers need to help a sister out!!!! Give me something to critique! Why must the single couple always start the show off in their bedroom? Are they gonna have sex every episode? I really need to go in there and use my common sense and MFA to help them work on timing and over all execution.

       Okay, 20 minutes into the show and still no site of these children, but the storyline for which they were introduce is rubbing me the wrong way. Okay, so it is such a big deal to put the boy twin in a pink jumper. Okay, why can’t they compromise and put then in gender neutral colors like pea green, sea-foam, orange, or purple? Is this a huge thing for men? Or is it that you just cant put your boys in pink? Is Gay contagious? Oh lawd don’t get me started on this. THE BABY BOY WILL NOT TURN GAY FOR PUTTING ON A PINK JUMPER!!!! I’m offended. Yes, I’m sitting here watching and they better address his concerns properly. And….they didnt. Okay. They made this a communication problem and not a bigot issue. I should have known!!!

        My overall critique of this show: The coonery went down by a ton! It actually got too serious for what they set up as our first impression last week. I still have no clue what everyone’s name is. I think Jamal is the husband and Kita is the sister of the engaged man, but I have no clue what the doctor’s name is or her fiance. Wow… and I am sitting here watching the show and still cant remember anyone’s name. Yeh, character development still needs mega work. Like this last scene with the tired ass strip tease. I get it, but I don’t get it. Okay, Mo’Nique is on and I would rather watch this than write any more on this show…

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

“Brand New” Vantage Point

Yoko Ono's A Hole

        There comes a time in everyone’s life when they will get asked, “What’s up with the change?” or “Why’re you acting brand new?”, to which you should reply, “Define brand new” or “From who’s stand point?”.

        I say this because, often times, vantage point can make a world of difference. John Lennon’s wife, Yoko Ono (sp), did an amazing piece of artwork where she does a bullet hole through a glass pane. She makes you look at the glass from both sides so that you can see if you are the shooter or the one shot. She said, “Unfortunately, I was on the bad side”. I can bet my soul I know which side she would have rather been on if she had a choice in the matter. But this artwork is a symbol of life and life’s vantage point.

        Recently, while on a vacation with someone who I deemed friend, I watched the vantage point change. And although it was rather subtle at first, I started to notice her behave “brand new”, or at least it seemed that way to me. But was that bad? Well, this morning on Twitter @SimplySandraG  said, “Someone asked me why I was acting brand new & in response I asked them why are they still acting the same.” Which made me think….is acting brand new always a bad thing, or can it be a good thing? And I think it depends on what that new behavior is and how it is executed.

        For example, If you are a hoe on land… I’m pretty sure you will be a hoe at sea.  Not calling anyone a hoe, used term for dramatic effect. But if the condom fits….wear it. There is no switch in that unless you get hit with the Holy Ghost and change your ways before departing the port. But is there really brand new behavior or is it that the revealing of such behavior is deemed incorrect for the current situation? Like the kid who jumps on furniture at home and then the parents pretend to be outraged in public pretending that they’ve never seen their children do this before. I say this because, there are always signs of a person’s behavior, but maybe the situation lends for it to be okay, therefore causing the person to become accustomed to executing such behavior. Thus, when the environment changes, the one who is more keen to changing does so while the other person keeps doing the same behavior and is therefore deemed as “acting brand new”. Confused? I’ll explain further.

        If you have a friend who can NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER be on time to save their life unless they are representing themselves, their business, or their family and can NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER respect the time of others (those deemed friends)….then how can you expect them to change when stepping outside of those guidelines just because the environment changes? If everyone caters to such rude and inconsiderate behaviors by changing their arrival times, joking that they know this person is never on time, or re-routing caravans to cater to this person….you can only expect that this person will get use to being catered to and that this behavior is acceptable. You can also believe that the minute someone is smart enough to stop enabling this type of behavior the Tardy for the Party person will inevitably get defensive and think that you have a problem with them because, after all, they deserved to be catered to at all times…. right? So EVEN if they spend 4 nights of a cruise in the stateroom with 2 guys that they just met 3 days earlier (the first night being your birthday night, despite whatever the circumstances may be)……you should be perfectly okay with such “brand new” behavior, right? And even if they hand your stateroom key to a complete male stranger ( 3 days does not a friend & trust factors make) to come check on you in your room because you went missing and they didn’t feel the need to get out of the bed from snuggling with their new cruise guy….you should be perfectly okay with such “brand new” behaviors…right? I mean, after all, you’re the one that is remaining the same, right? Or are they the ones who are remaining the same and you are changing because common sense tells you to do better and therefore your change is making someone else look as if they are acting “brand new”?

*Side note*: THE GIVING OF THE STATEROOM KEY TO A STRANGER BECAUSE YOU TRUST TOO MANY GOT DAMN PEOPLE FAR TOO SOON AND ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A PENIS>>>>IS ENOUGH TO GET YOU FUCKED UP! I DONT SUGGEST THAT ANYONE EVER TRY THIS WHILE ON A CRUISE! USE SOME COMMON SENSE ,PEOPLE! THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING! COMMON SENSE!!!!

        If you are confused by this… so am I. lol. But perhaps the environment is what has changed, and both parties are remaining true to their character ( or lack there of) and therefore both parties feel as if the other has changed, when in fact….. they havent. For instance, if 2 people sit in the dark at midnight and one ( due to the dark) appears to have a black shirt on but as the sun rises (environment change) now appears to have on a purple shirt…. did the person really change or did the environment change causing the appearance of change? Meaning, that person hasn’t changed and neither have you… the sun has finally shifted therefore revealing to you something that has been there all along and you are just now seeing it.  Like the time I was starting up my own sisterhood, when my top divas (Vice President, Secretary, Event Planner, etc) all saw the new recruits misbehaving, slacking on turning in assignments, and even watched me put them in check. When I dismissed a recruit for not following the rules or carrying their weight, my top divas were right behind me….agreeing with every step & damn near virtually hi-fiving me for getting rid of dead weight. I didn’t cater to anyone; if you didn’t carry your weight you had to bounce. But ooooooooh no! As soon as they started slacking on assignments and not pulling their weight, they had to go. Of course it came up that I had changed.  When in fact, I had been the same person, upholding the same standards, and not the only difference had been who was being punished for falling below those standards. They had encouraged my behavior, they told me that I was doing good when I saw a wrong and went to fix it ( I wasnt always the most tactful, I admit but the job got done) So you see, I had not changed, the vantage point did, the environment had changed. So, do you get mad at the person, the behavior, or the environment?

        I say blame yourself for not noticing. lol. We often push our better judgement to the side when dealing with so-called friends. We must STOP that. We must hold our friends to the same standards as we do for strangers since those closest to us can screw us over faster than those furthest from us. If your friend doesn’t curse in front of their parents but does at a bar….that person curses. Point. Blank. Period.  If this person has bad judgement when it comes to men at home, taking a trip isn’t going to change it. Point. Blank. Period. If your friend is quick-tempered and ready to beat anyone’s ass back home, I suggest you don’t try to come out the side of your neck via text messages during the holiday season…..because you can still get that ass whooped! POINT! BLANK!PERIOD!!! It is an evolution of changing environments and we already possess those behaviors that will be revealed upon entering such situations. It is up to us to pay more attention to others sooner. Hold ourselves accountable for our own actions; be they wrong or right, new or old. And we must not be willing to accept poor behavior from ANYONE at ANY TIME that does not show full respect to us and our situation. Now, go ahead…insert this rule into your life, and watch the ones you’ve been catering to for far too long say that you’re “acting brand new”.  Then….agree with them.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~