200 Men Said….Liars, and Fires, and Men….Oh MY!

        If you read my post yesterday about Marsha Ambrosius’ I Hope She Cheats On You, then you should be more than well prepared to know what today’s blog will be about. You guessed it; Cheating! Well, not just cheating in general but all of the things that hurt people do to others while in a relationship.

        You know the drill; boy meets girl, boy sleeps with girl, boy cheats on girl, girls gets even, girl sleeps with best friend, etc, etc, etc. Yeh. If you are above the age of 16 and have a single cool bone in your body then you know exactly what I am talking about. Sorry, this blog is not for the 40 year-old virgins who play Scrabble by themselves while watching reruns of Golden Girls in their studio apartments. NO, this is for the cool kids who know how to get even. Those kids who actually got asked out on dates and thought it was a privilege. The same kids who would soon find out that we are in an age where no one knows how to date or even respect themselves, yet alone how to protect someone else! Yes, those kids.

       I, dear friends, was one of THOSE kids. The cool kid that experienced every wrong in the book. I’m one of the divas with the sunroof open, windows do, and blaring I Hope She Cheats On You. No hurt feelings, just vindication at its finest, displayed beautifully by Marsha’s amazing talents.

       So, as usual, i wanted to know…or even see for that matter…what my 200 men thought on the matter. I wanted to first see what they would admit to doing. So I asked them:

What was the WORSE thing, as a man, that you have ever done to a woman while in a relationship?

 

And the answers that followed were:

• MR. LOVING: I can’t find anything that I can recall! [2deep: Suuuuuuuure! lol]
•  Carlos V: cheated
•  ! Robert D (S4D (S-4411): GAVE MY HEART [2deep:  OUCH!!!!!]
•  Boozer101: cheated… she didn’t find out but just the same.. that’s the worse thing I’ve ever done
•  Lighta: Revenge cheat would have to be the worst thing.
• JAY D:  Cheat on her
•  Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: The 5th [2Deep:  I have a feeling that there will be a ton of this….lol]
• Patrick:  Not giving the affection she needed or deserved. [2Deep:  You do know that this is worse than cheating, right?]
•  Lateef25: maybe i wasnt honest
• Juan D: smashed her friend. [2deep: Hope it itched….lol]
•  Code Name Bigsexy: lol ill have to use my fifth amendment on that 1 [2Deep: You already told me… so I know…lmao! I just wont post it.]
• DSMILEY1: Had sex with a girl while my girlfriend at the time was next door to a friend’s house. I WAS JUST STUPID AT THE TIME BUT NEVER WILL DO IT AGAIN [2Deep:  JUST STUPID!!! I hope you caught something. Oh wait, you didnt do this to me….never mind…lmao]
•  Parrish M: I couldn’t say that I was a man at the time more like an adult male. I put my hands on a woman before. [2deep: Check out my Blog About D.O.C……..yeh]
• rroyallty: hmm. not sure. maybe break up with her
• Johann J: I cheated on her with her best friend and her best friends cousin. A real young and dumb move. [2Deep: Just a regular overachiever, aren’t we?]
• Robert P: Wasn’t there for her when she needed me most
• Tori A: Cheated on her [2Deep:  Let me guess… you cheated….lmao!]
• James F: had sex with her cousin or kickin her out the car and she had to find a another way home [2Deep:  I’m ready to come whoop your ass my damn self. WHO DOES THAT SHIT?!]
•  kuerby E: cheat…..
•  Ryu C-Keyz:  probably cussed her out and walked off for the night. Hey, I’m the type you snap at me, I snap back. I don’t sit back and take it.
•  Allen Ozark:  nothing. I am the world’s last remaining humanist and a perfect gentleman. i have a universal dimmer switch that only works one way – brighter and brighter – wear your shades baby, wear your shades. [2deep: *side eye* *raised eyebrow*]
• Terrance L:  cheated sexy, what about you as a woman in a relationship [2Deep:  Negro, this isn’t about me…lol]
•  Mr. U. G. Bilbo: The worse thing I’ve done was flirted with another woman and got her number while my girlfriend was around me
•  Ed M:  talk back; being a smart ass [2Deep: Was this your mother? lmao….you are allowed to be a smart ass.]
•  Mr.Swaggtastikal:  I LIED AND TOLD MY EX THAT I WAS STILL WORKING WHEN I KNEW I GOT FIRED…. [2deep: It wasnt so bad to be fired… it’s the fact that you lied that made it bad. CONFESS MAN!!!]
• *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~PEACE*!!: Betrayed her by not telling her i was still legally married but has been separated for over a year….. [2Deep: I shall remain silent…..but know I am thinking something]
• ~Taylor Gang~Jay Kahlifa:  cheat….and that was the biggest mistake i ever made in my life [2Deep:  I’m sorry… the bitter bitches couldn’t hear you. Could you please speak up. lol]
• 6’5 & NICE WIT IT: GAVE THE DUMMY A CHANCE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP [2Deep:  Playing devil’s advocate here… but what does that make you for giving the chance? lmao! j/k]
• corey: fake the big O.lol [2Deep:  Can guys even do this? WHY? I applaud you for evening admitting it. lmao!]
• Ddouble R: put [her] out of my car with her bags in tow at the Maryland house. [2deep: *Researches Marland House…… YOU DROPPED HER OFF AT A REST STOP LOCATED IN THE CENTER OF I-95?!!!!!! I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY TRAFFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *wooosah* Okay… this was in the distant past…. I hope.)

        Okay… so there are a ton of cheating guys running around. KEEP HOPE ALIVE LADIES!!!! *Turns on Disney movies* I mean really… I was done at a guy admitting to faking an orgasm. I mean… what purpose would that serve? Did she find out that he faked the orgasm? Did you tell her that you came? How horrible was she sexually that you had to fake it? Was she ugly? Was she loose and you found out one it was time to lay it down and it turned you off? DId you fake it to speed up the process? Oh shit, I am way off topic… .but that one stumped me. lmao

 

        Also, I see that there are a ton of simple bitches walking along the highway. It would have been a Chris Brown Rhianna situation going on in that car if a negro EVER tells me that I have to get out and walk. He would have to physically put me out and then I am pressing charges and causing a scene. Who does that?!!!! *blood boiling* I know I asked for honesty…. but damn it I got it. Just ticks me off. So… to help me get over this part, I asked them to tell me this:

What was one of the WORST things that a female has done to you while in a relationship? How did it make you feel?

See ladies, I was fair….lol. The fellas said:

• Tyrone E: Let her brother who was on drugs steal money and property from and protect him and say ‘o u know he got a problem” I was pissed and that is why she is an ex today
• K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: HAVE MY DAUGHTER AROUND ANOTHER MAN! IT MADE ME WANNA KNOCK BOTH OF EM OUT!
• !James!:  She went back to her ex, she say it was for the kids. She wanted me to stay in the background. I did and eventually she left him for her safety. It’s harder to trust, I keep 1 eye open at all times.
• ”DUKE” BANNER: I WAS DOING OFF SHORE OIL RIGGING AND WHEN I LEAVE THIS SCOUNDREL WOULD BRING A JOE TO THE HOUSE I WAS MORE ASHAME BECAUSE ALL HE DID WAS DRINK STAYED WITH HIS MOTHER TALKING ABOUT SHE GOT HI AND SHE KNEW HIM AND IT STARTED FROM THERE
• Tony Raymond **CANDIDA whores me**:  Cheat but i just come to learn ALL sexes knows what they WANT but never what they NEED…even if your mouth say you need this or that because they always go after what they want…
• Tori A:  cheated on me w/ someone I [thought] was a good friend
• DJ Urban Cowboy: My most recent ex took my phone and decided to rummage through my txts… Big no no in my book.
• Kip S:  Forget my birthday after being in a relationship with me for over a year.

 

       You know what they say… hurt people, hurt people. Yes, some of this is funny to read, but it still doesn’t make ANY of it right. At what point are people going to be honest with themselves about what they want, what they need, and what the other person is offering. I think if hoes would admit to being hoes they could find each other. There are sugar daddies out there for the gold diggers, but leave the good boys and girls alone. Stick to your own kind. It is just point less for all of this to go on. We are just creating more hurt people all the while wondering why you can’t find a good one. YEs, I am prepared to fuck the chick(s) up who dare hurts my future husband… I will hunt you down! lol. TRY ME!

Okay, this is getting depressing, but it was an interesting write-up. Hope you enjoyed…. on to the next one.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Deep Kamasutra: “Orally Speaking”

Welcome to the new series called “Deep Kamasutra” featuring advice giving to you from myself, 2Deep, and my homeboy Kamasutra. I guarantee you that this will be blunt advice unlike anything that you have ever read before. He and I are two very blunt individuals…..so if you don’t want the truth DO NOT READ ANY BLOG ENTRIES FROM THIS SERIES!!! lol.  So…lets get this party started.

Our first question for the start-up of this series comes from a Twitter follower, who happens to be a black male, and he asks:

“Why is it that black women do not EASILY engage in oral sex, or engage in the act as much as other races?”

 

Kamasutra, what are your thoughts, sir?

        It’s Kamasutra on the ones and twos. I have had a lot of experience in the field of women. And I will tell you this, the freakiest woman in the world, at some point, will evolve into someone who cares about her image and doesn’t want her business put out there in the streets. Now with that said, I believe that the black race has been so mind fucked that the whole situation of black love and dating is fugazi (that’s military lingo for fucked up)! On to your question, from my experiences with various races of women, the stigma for giving “head,” sucking dick, giving brains, and ultimately fellatio all comes down to three things: desiring to please her man by any means necessary, the stigma in the community for what that actually involves, and the last one is just plain what her mother told her, bro.

         I’m not going to even try to make this eloquent or technical, I am just going to keep it real! Getting your dick sucked is arguably one of the best feelings in the world, so who wouldn’t want to experience that feeling? Black women don’t come up off the goods easily because their mothers tell them that its nasty and no self-respecting woman would take her mouth and open it up and allow a man to slide his dirty dick in between her lips. What she didn’t tell her daughter is that she was breaking daddy off with the bomb ass head last night and many of her former boyfriends before daddy was even in the picture! In our community, dick sucking is scandalous and derogatory and no woman wants to have that as her reputation. Honestly, black men talk too damn much and that is real, certified talk. They tell their friends and their friends tell their friends and then ultimately someone tries to get that “fire dome” from her and now the reputation precedes her. And oh man, don’t let her turn him down, he will shred her image to pieces trying to salvage what little manhood he has left from picking his face up off the ground—all because she said no. It’s a defense mechanism my dude! They give head but most of them enjoy the act, but they are not going to divulge that information to you!

          You ever heard the saying, “A woman will fake an orgasm to save a relationship, but a man will fake a relationship just to get an orgasm.” That’s real and women know it, so a woman isn’t going to give you something she feels like, for one, he isn’t even my man and, two, he is going to go runteldat! It’s all an image thing!

 ~Kamasutra

Wow! Okay. It’s always interesting to see what guys think about a subject. Now, ladies…. its my turn.For starters, I plead the 5th on my own personal experience….I am merely discussing the topic. Now that we’ve got that out of the way…lol .

        

         As I got older, I had an ex call me and ask for my permission to tell his current girlfriend that he and I had sex,and if I had disagreed I would have been omitted out of his confession…..that makes a woman feel safe, that makes a woman keep a man on her radar, that could make a woman drop to one or two knees to show you how much she appreciates you for your thoughtfulness. And now that my professional career has reached, and continues to reach, new heights I search for guys who like to keep their life just as private as I like to keep mine. Yes, I tell a lot about myself but there are things that will never be broadcasted, like if I have sex, when I have sex…and what is included in the sexual package.  And just because I have a tongue ring, doesn’t mean that I got it to play “head” games, or that you will ever get to experience it. The ones who get the most excited are the ones who wont get anything from a female. It is the laid back brothers ( or at least the ones who can fake until they make it) who make those females who engage in giving head feel like their secret is safe. So, trying to impress your boys could actually decrease the actions that you so desire.

        If it were up to my grandmother, all actions are a go! She was very open and honest with me about sex, so I never got the speech about how giving head could cause you cancer. lol. In my house, the only rule of thumb was don’t get pregnant. With all of the openness that surrounded me there wasnt much of a mystery surrounding sex that made me want to rush out and dabble in it, and that very openness kept me a virgin until I was twenty. In high school just about every guy in my school was trying to holler at me all because I was unobtainable, and I liked it that way. But the very same lure that they wanted me for was the very same lure that kept me a virgin; there were no rumors of a past triste floating around about what I had done. Yet, I am sure you will find a female out there who is less timid than myself. Like my high school best friend use to say, “Dick doesn’t have a face.” So why don’t you ask her to take my place…lol. Or this chick… she seems ready for the job:

        LMBO!!!! All jokes aside, my homegirl brings up an interesting point when she says, “If its clean, I suck. If he’s been tested, I swallow.” lmbo!  Blunt, yet so very honest. As a woman, you have to protect yourself from viruses, and going down on a guy puts us at risk. Point, blank, period. We hear, and experience, the actions of the Down Low brothers, and unless you stop complaining about receiving oral pleasure while wearing a condom….I guess you will have to wait til you are married. The very actions of guys actually scares women off from feeling comfortable. Because it doesn’t make me feel comfortable knowing that 30% of males don’t think that getting “head” is considered having sex. And 100% of that 30% do NOT use oral condoms when receiving “head” which means that the opportunity for viruses to be transmitted raises through each action….and then he expects me to turn around and follow suit? Ummm…come again?  So, no amount of social stigma can compete with the hard facts of a male’s sexual prowess and the risky activities that go along with those actions.

        As a female, I have to agree with Kamasutra on the topic of reputation and self-respect. Fellas, you all do talk far too much and end up setting fire to the very bridge that a girl may have crossed in order to give you such pleasure. No girl wants to be known as the local hoe. She wants to be considered as a lady at all times, no matter her actions, and you spreading the word actually kills that image. Also, having the pressure of a guy’s expectation actually kills the mood.Just like you don’t want a woman who you’ve been with for a month to expect you to marry her, I don’t want a guy who I have only been dating for a month to expect that he should get some head out of the deal. It can’t be a double standard. Besides, why would you want a woman to easily give you anything….she could just as easily pass you a disease. Now, as a respectable woman, if I ever decide to engage in such an intimate act with a man, you can be guaranteed that he got that act because my heart was into the action and not just because it is expected of me. I guess only doing this with your husband would solve this issue. So in conclusion, just like every female hasnt earned the right for him to “put a ring on it”, every male hasnt earned the right for me to put my lips on it. Same thang! End of story.

~2Deep

 

So, i guess it boils down to the standards of the people engaging in such actions. If a guy knew that for SOME woman it is a sign of affection and if they appreciated it by keeping their damn mouths shut…they just may get it more often. But on the flip side, if girls understood that guys don’t think like us and are more apt to spreading the news, they wouldn’t be so swift in engaging in an action that would ruin your reputation. I think that it would be safe to say that this one will be a stalemate. Fellas, I’m sure you will find a female who will help you out, and ladies….I think it is up to you as to whether you want to take that risk or not.

Verdict: Hung Jury

Sincerely,

~Deep & Kamasutra~

P.S. If you liked this series and wish to see it continue, leave questions below in the comment section and it could show up in the next blog.  Follow Kamasutra’s blog by CLICKING HERE!

Follow us on Twitter:

2Deep: @_2Deep_

Kamasutra: @Yo_STFU_ImTalkn