@_2Deep_ Poem 1 of 30/30: Safety Net

Poem 1: Safety Net

So, for those who are in the dark, April is National Poetry Month. As a poet, I participate in the tradition of writing a poem a day for thirty days. Some will be Haikus, some will be mega short, and some will be epic. But at least I am writing, right? So…. here is my first poem of the month. And dont judge me that it is the 3rd day and I am just now posting this. lol.

Safety Net

4/3/12

Poem 1

I am his want when he feels he’s not wanted

Safety net in time of want

Never needed

He’s got me eating out of the palm of unclean hands

Conversation lacking communication

It is the sound of our voices that make us at home

The safety of familiar

But when his phone buzzed

Attention grabbed

Stolen

Call disconnected

He moves on as I feel forgotten

Remember me when

Our memories are in sync

Tales of how we used to be

Dangle on the tips of our fantasies

Hopes that he’ll fight for me linger on the battlefield of my heart

Fear that he hasn’t sounds the trumpet of my reality

March forward into tomorrow

And sit

Pray that do overs aren’t an urban myth

I need him to be who I want him to be

Who he is doesn’t love me

But says he does

12 years past our prime

Rewind every conversation

Searching

Rewriting our should have beens

What could’ve been isn’t

Probably never will

But I manage to function within this dysfuntion

Because in this moment I have his attention

And he has never lost mine

While we waltz in a glass house kicking pebbles

Promising never to throw stones

Eyes locked on one another’s souls

We mate in this ritual of yesterdays

Knowing that the truth is in our peripheral

Waiting to cut in on our dance

SO I hold him close

Exhale

Inhale his lies

And let my trust issues lead

I seek to find an error in a not so perfect man

Who is perfect for me

Though not worthy of me

No one can fulfill his void in me

Yet each time he walks away

Takes a call out of the room

I feel this pain in my chest

A nagging ache

Screaming I told you so

And I know that it is so

I have no one else to blame

But me.

Sincerely, 

2Deep