Episode 1:Whoop that New Trick
Just check out all of my blogs about Love and Hip Hop from last year to see what it is that happened just so that I don’t have to recap.
Let’s remix this in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #Love&HipHop
Chrissy, Emily, Kimbella (new) Olivia, Somaya, Yandy ( new) are baaaaaack. Wait… Kimbella and Yandy are new. So who are we missing?
In walks Jim and Chrissy are in the diamond district to REPLACE his engagement ring. To be honest, Jim does not look happy to even be there to replace his ring. Wait…. Jim cut his hair! He’s reached that age where grown men cut their braids? I am really sick over this engagement and ring thing. Like I said last season, HE SHOULD BE DOING THIS FOR YOU and NOT the other way around. She took away one of his balls when she kneeled to him. And I am going to steal her term “pain killers”. Pain killers are what you get when you cant get what you really want, like her diamond earrings instead her engagement ring from Jim.
Taina, Emily’s daughter from a previous relationship, meets up with Emily to hear that the change is going to occur. I find it hilarious that this is the second show today where couples are living with one another. Honey…. Stop moving in with a man just because you date him and have a child with them. Make him put a ring on it. But I do appreciate how she chose to answer Taina’s question about how she is leaving John (Fabolous).
Wait, oh, never mind…. I was about to jone on how Olivia was living with her parents but now she has her own condo. This just goes to show that everyone on TV does NOT have money to ball out of control. Which is why it is confusing me at how hard her manager is coming all the time. He talks like she is Beyonce’s protégé, and she’s not. I mean, I love and support people who have a dream, but make your hustle match your talent.
Yandy is Jim Jones’ manager? Okay… I am still sitting here trying to figure out who is missing from the first season. Oh, wait… Mashonda is missing, but who else since Kimbella is added. So in this car ride I discover that Kimbella is Juelz Santana’s baby’ smother.
Somaya is still on her newbie grind…and Barry is an investor for Somaya’s project. Apparently her manager is still there. So this investor gave them a bunch of money and they spent it on Somaya’s housing, food, exercise, two videos and a tequila bottle. The tequila that they want is call La Jefa (The Boss). Honestly, the bottle looks like they took a huge Grey Goose bottle and switched the labels. If it would have been me, I would have shaped the bottle like a J with a squared/flat bottom and put the bottle label vertical…. But that is just me and my marketing brain. Because nothing about this bottle makes it stand out to me. And if I see this bottle change, I’m suing…so they better get their lawsuit money up because I know for a FACT that some of them read this blog after the post I did last year. Lol.
What is it with celebs moving, getting a divorce and having a party? Lol. Okay, this tight jumper that Emily is unique but it is fitting strangely on her body. I am loving Somaya’soutfit more. This simple white shirt dress and black belt is hot. I am still trying to figure out where she is getting money for these outfits. So Somaya wants to receive makeover help from Emily.
Kimbella and Yandy are out scoping out jewelry for her jewelry line. Wait, did Kimbella just say “I amthe woman of Juelz Santana”? She is doing too much! And she’s a moooooooodel. Boo, satcho ass down some where?
Mama Jones is still sounding like a frog with throat cancer. And she wants to go to this dude named Freddie to help her produce a song to get out how she is upset towards Chrissy. And she did NOT just make a song called psychotic!!! Honestly, an I am trying to be respectful, this female is too hot damn old to being taking it to the studio to get out how you feel about someone. This shit sounds like how Lil Kim got crushed when Nicki Minaj came back at her. Again… Mama Jones has that “younger than she is” look, but her behavior is faaaaaaar too young for her true age. So it is official, Niggerism has no age limits. Got it.
So during a commercial I realized that we didn’t lose anyone other than Mashonda. We gained Kimbella and Yandy. Though judging from the previews, Chrissy punch may take Kimbella out of commission pretty soon after this commercial break. Lol.
Yandy’s jewelry line is interesting. I always am weary when I see people who pick up jewelry that was made from other outlets and just put them in their collection. Maybe she did design them and they just edited that part out. Kimbella looked a hot ass mess with these small ass coochie/ass strangling shorts. Even Chrissy noticed her “jean panties” at the all girls setting. I think that Chrissy’s outfit is super dainty and cute. The only thing on Kimbella that I like are her green shoes. My second favorite color.
Ummm….was I the only one who noticed how Kimbella tried to talk to Emily about Emily’s son? That was shady as shit! How did she know Emily had a son? Have they met before? And so Kimbella pulls Yandy over to the side to have a confessional session. And she claims that she didn’t know that Emily and Fab were together when she dated Fab a few years ago. This is still shady.
So Olivia calls Chrissy and tells her to go to World Star Hip Hop. When she goes there, she discovers that Mama Jones has posted the song against her. Jim leaves the house because he doesn’t want anyone to mess up his day. I know he is a mama’s boy…but at some point you have to put the women in your life in their place.
Chrissy calls Jim backing the house to watch this video. All Jim says that it was crazy and it doesn’t make him feel right. And he even says that Mama Jones isn’t acting like how a mother should act. I agree with Chrissy, Mama Jones is looking at this as if she is losing a son instead of gaining a daughter.
What is up with Emily and these small booty rompers trying to hold in her thick ass? Oh Lord, did y’all see that look on Kimbella’s face when Emily said that she was in a relationship with Fab for 9 years? That alone made this fight ( that is about to come) all the more worth it. WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU ADD IN AT THE END OF A SPEECH TO EMILY THAT YOU USED TO DATE FAB?!!!! Somaya got up quick as hell and moved as far away from Kimbella as she could. Lol. Chrissy is boiling over this.
Whoop that ass in 5, 4, 3, 2…STOMP!
DAMN!!!! Chrisst knocked over Yandy to get to Kimbella. And Chrissy landed every one of her blows. Wait…. Did Chrissy lose her weave? I love how they scooped up the weave so quickly and rolled it up and walked away. And she kicked the girl in her face. SMDH!!!!! Still hood I see.
Next Week: Oh lord, there was too much coonery for me to even wrap my head around it all.
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~