Ultimate Merger S:2~ Skating on Thin Ice

Episode 1: STAR STRUCK?!

Episode 2: Skating on Thin Ice

Yes, I know that I am BEYOND tardy, but I had a poetry slam fundraiser to attend last Thursday and I am just now getting around to this. Please, pardon my tardiness….lol. I only have so many hours in the day to work, watch shows, blog, eat and sleep. Lol.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #It’sToccaraSnitches

Okay, I already have it up in my mind that Toccara cant pronounce “men”. So I am going to sit back and enjoy this episode. I often sit back and wonder why the shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette looks so elegant, but black love/reality shows look so ghetto. Hmmm….

Toccara picks Cedric & King to be her team captains for this next challenge. Cedric is the Red Team and Kin is the Black Team. OH SNAP!!! Out comes these roller derby chicks. HOT!!! They are mean! I love how Toccara came out and slide and posed when she fell…lol. She is hilarious to me.  Ron was the odd man out since none of the teams picked him and so Toccara picked him as her MVP. I cant wait to see how these guys skate…..lol. This is hilarious since I have a glow skate party tomorrow for my church’s mime ministry….lol.

Okay, these guys do NOT look like they can skate at all. The only thing they have to do is to pass one of the female blockers to get a point. Kevin passed then easily and poor Cedric got knocked down and did a back flip. The rest of these dudes are getting beat up by these girls. Toccara fell and Sebastian didn’t stop to help her get up or anything. LOL. Jason cannot skate to save his life!!! Nick was getting his ass whooped and Chris dislocated his shoulder. Lol. Toccara’s reenactment of Chris dislocating his shoulder had me in tears laughing…lol.

The winner of the date was Damond from the black team with 15 points. The second place winner with 13 points is Cedric. The two with the lowest scores of 3 points each eas Elijah and Nick.  And Ron gets to be the MVP to come with the 1^st and 2^nd place winners on a date with Toccara.

 

Ron, Cedric, & Damond go to this arctic club. Toccara is in her faux fur and the dance she did is HILARIOUS!!!! I love how she mentioned her fuax fur so PETA wouldn’t run up and attack her after this episode. The guys must show up in nothing more than spousal abuse shirts and gym shorts….lol. Damond said that being 37 is about time he start planting seeds? Ummm dude… I’m 30 and I am planting seeds… lol. So the challenge is for one of these three dudes to stay around the longest in this artic club. Damond is turning around air boxing…lol. Cedirc decides to keep drinking Patron to stay warm…lol. COMEDY! Ron is on some meditation tip so that he could stay in the artic club. Lol. They made it 43 minutes… but then they had to put their hands on the block of ice and see who could stay the longest.

WHAT! Eric says that he has a girl back home…lol. Jason is trying to start some mess. Lol. And Eric said that when he has a girl “ he calls his girl a bitch”.  What dude?

Cedric didn’t keep his pinky on the block of ice and Damond shifted his hand on the ice, so both of them got eliminated. Ron won. So he was not chosen originally and he ended up winning the romantic limo ride around Vegas with Toccara. Oh my word, Ron doesn’t have much to talk about in this limo. And then she asked him if he has a roommate and he hesitated but eventually said yes. And where he lives and what he does for a living just shifted back and forth. Toccara actually fell asleep on him. This nut said that his favorite moment was when Toccara fell asleep on him….lol. Dude, she was bored!

Why are all of these dudes attacking Ron. Chris comes up out of the pocket and came at Ron….but Ron came back with that heat! But ummmm, Ron, where was this intensity and energy when you were on the date with Toccara. And now Ron has pushed Chris up in the corner all up in his face. Funny, funny, funny.

Toccara asks to see Chris privately on the spa level of the Trump Hotel. She said that he wanted to treat him since he dislocated his shoulder during the derby challenge. He is Italian and Toccara says that she always wanted an Italian. She said that she would date white men if they would approach her. She also said that they have thin lips and she likes to kiss.  Chris proceeds to tell Toccara how he feels about Ron. In my opinion…… Chris can get it. He is HOT! I wonder how tall he is… because I don’t do short dudes.

Is it a man thing to do push-ups before an important event? I’m confused because it is not like the effects of the push-up shows up five minutes after you do them….lol. Guys crack me up.  I think that women should sit around doing kegel exercises before a date. Lol. 

I am not feeling Toccara’s outfit at ALL tonight. Her hair is iffy, this black lipstick is making me cringe, and this dress does nothing for her amazing figure. And this Diana Ross whisper that she is doing with this remedial speed she talks in is the death of several brain cells.

Toccara comes at Ron in the mediation room about the confrontation between he and Chris. Oh my word…. Ron beats around the bush about what happened. Toccara had to fish information out of him and she still ot no information.Harveysaid that Ron is not there with the rest of them and he is on a spaceship which must be double parked outside. This fool Ron asked ifHarveywanted to go for a ride. I think that Ron should be added to this hot seat because Ron is horrible! And thank the lawd  Toccara heard my cry.

Toccara says that Elijash has mad swag and she appreciates that but she doesn’t feel like he is there for her, and he is sitting there with sunglasses in front of her. Elijah runs off the list of people that he was allegedly on tour with: Musiq, Ledisi, Rubban Studdard, and he has a single out with Delicious ( I’m thinking from Flavor of Love). But here is the odd thing; Toccara didn’t bring up his music career… He did! Toccara also popped his bubble when she mentioned that she called some of the people that he said he was on tour with and found out that he wasn’t on tour with them. This caused him to admit that he had only done spot dates. Shame. I hate when people try to make themselves to be bigger than what they are. Shame, Shame Shame.

Toccara says that she doesn’t know what she is going to do with Nick. And then she asks how many times has he been in the hot seat. Ummm, Toccara, this is just the second mediation….lol. You forgot already? Lol. I could see if this was the 6^th or 10^th…lol. I hate people trying to sound all dramatic…lol.

Toccara mentioned their ride in the car and there were things that she was concerned with; where he lives, who he lives with and his self-employed job. And thenHarveygoes in on Ron and they just keep coming out of it.

Jason speaks up and says that he thinks that there is another person who should be in the hot seat; Eric. He mentioned the “has a girl” conversation…. I feel that all hell is about to break loose. Jason also brings up what “ I call all females bitches” comment as well. Toccara jumps in and attacks him for calling females bitches. Sebastian speaks up and jumps into the “bitches” conversation. Eric says that he said it because he was working on two hours of sleep. This is some BS. Toccara tells Nick to go back to his seat and let Eric sit in the hot seat. Sebastian keeps speaking up and he says that Eric’s girl dropped him off at the airport. Eric said he took a $20 shuttle from downtownL.A.and even Ron speaks up and says that the shuttle is a $7 shuttle.Harveysaid that he didn’t realize that they could pack so much bullshit in Eric’s body frame. In his brazen move of being caught in his lie, Eric says that he is ready to go home any way. Toccara then says that she googled him and she reads this information from a website. In general is described the packages from his website and revealed that he was a male exotic dancer.

I went to the website www.exoticpamperparty.com and I must say that upon entering the website I did nothing other than laugh. The picture of him at the top was horrible. He should have been oiled up, his facial expression looked horrible and he music being played sound like Ricky Smiley’s Lil Darryl talking over a horrible techno beat. Yeh, not the best quality. The website says that Eric Middleton is an ex-exotic dancer and a licensed massage therapist who thought to combine the two. Now, there are pictures in his photo gallery that look BETTER than the photo at the top of his website. There is one of him on the beach oiled up looking like WHOA! Why didn’t he use that one? Wait… I did a Google search and found a pic of him and Niecy Nash!!!

This is the picture at the header of his website:

Bogus, right? He is not an ugly dude by any stretch of the imagination… he could use some help in the advertisement business though. And this was his book cover?!!!! I think you get my drift.

But why would Toccara flash the pics on his webpage to the rest of the guys? Lol. HILARIOUS!!!

Next Week: Okay, they will be road racing? And why is Ron snapping? And is Toccara playing Jason and Kevin against one another? OH SNAP!

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Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~