So this morning I woke up with th intention of doing P90X before I left the house. Thought that I would get it out of the way for the day. But noooooooooooooooo, I wanted to sleep longer because my body woke me up at 6am like it usually does during the weekday. SUCKS!!! I want to sleep in on the weekend. Maybe, and this is just a thought, that if this happens next weekend…..I should just get up, work out and then take a nap later in the day. I don’t know… I know it just sucked waking up for early and then trying to fall back asleep.
Needless to say, I didnt do Shoulders and Arms this morning. But, what I did do was walk from Prince Georges Metro Station alllllll the way to Brookland Metro Station with a friend of mine and then I continue to walk to the Rhode Island Metro station because I had a meeting at my church that afternoon. My church is directly across the street from the RI MEtro. Yeh, I’m rocking 16,133 steps ( 2:36am). Felt good, hurt like hell while sitting in the meeting. But I was proud of my friend who wasnt sure she could walk that far…. and I was proud of myself for doing it as well.
So, I came home and procrastinated. Got a call from a friend and we decided to go see a movie. SO I quickly jumped up and knocked out the Shoulders and Arms and didnt have enough time to do the Ab Ripper X. For the most part I did 12 of every rep and 16 reps of the ones where Tony HOrton mentioned that everyone HAD to do 16 reps. I hurt, I sweated a ton and I damn near drank an entire pitcher of water afterwards. Felt great.
Until……I got some horrible news about people and the conversations that go on behind my back. When I tell you that I am such a hermit, I have no strength left in me to even fight against the rumors. People who I can go a full year without talking to were heard talking about me. People who I thought were cool and the ONLY time I EVER speak or see them is when I am in a group with people have my name in their mouth. It reminds me of the time in college when I told a friend “I’m tired of seeing [another friend] cry.” I said it in a way to mean that I want to see that friend happy and that is why I am tired of seeing her cry. That person went and told the friend that I meant it in a “I wish she would stop crying already” kind of a way. All that person had to do was ask me if I said it or how I meant it and it could have been all squared away. I feel ike I am in high school. It is 2:43 in the morning and all I want to do is work out because maybe then it wont hurt so bad. Maybe if I could just hit the ground running I wouldnt feel like I have to shut even more people out of my life to be safe. Hell, in the past 2 years I only talk to ONE person on the phone to vent my problems to. So the fact that others are saying stuff about me stings a little. I dont go to venues every night like I use to, I dont go to parties at all…i go to work and home….and then I host and perform when I get paid to do so. The rest of this is enough to make you go play in rush hour traffic.
If I werent so emotionally tired I would get up and go finish Ab Ripper X. But I need to go to sleep so I can have strength tomorrow. I wont eat my way out of this pain….. I will just exercise my way out it. I have to stay focused, because I keep a lot bottled inside and I am tryin my hardest not to blow a fuse. I just have to remember what my personal goals are and remember that I am in this by myself and that I have made it this far and I can make it the rest of the way too. Sad that it has to be that way…….but from now on I trust NO ONE but God, all others must pay cash. I look forward to working out tomorrow…….never thought I would hear myself say that. But I feel that way. May workout before church. Thanks P90X for giving me an outlet when I feel like I dont have one.
Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~
~*2Deep*~ Uncensored! 