Sinbad~Funny Money

 

Episode 1: It’s Just Family

        So, Last week was the BEST blog week in the history of me blogging. Yes, you read that correctly and no, I am not exaggerating. Two things happened:

        1. My blog about Sinbad was the highest read blog out of any of my blogs to date. Yes, 312 people read that one blog in one day! That blog is still the top read blog in the days following its post. The people have spoken….Sinbad is the best.

        2. I tweeted Sinbad ( hopefully it was him and not an assistant) and causally mentioned my blog, provided a link, and preceeded with the words “Check this out” . lol. Well, HE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not lying to you.

        Sorry for the blury pic, but I was trying to take a pic on the sneak tip. Yes, I will cherish this til the day that I die. I dont think that you fully understand what has occurred here. One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE COMEDIANS…… CALLED ME FUNNY! *faints*

        lol. Okay, all drama aside, I really am touched. Whether he meant I was literally funny or figureatively, I dont give a flying Sarah Palin with painted on crosshairs…he called me funny! It does something to me. I really did take those words to heart, and I could be taking it too far, and blowing it all out of proportion… but you’re just jealous he didnt call you funny. *sticks out tongue* Okay…. I guess I can move on to another topic. I just had to share that with the entire blog world. *Sigh* Again, I can die happy.

        Now, if the rest of the world is ready to see Sinbad and his family……sit back and get ready. And if the rest of the    ladies are ready for Royce, like I am…..bring out the fans to fan yourself.  FYI. I hope to hear Paige sing this episode. I guess I could just go to her website that was mentioned in the last episode, hmmm.  What was it again? *Googles* JustPaige.com.

        Okay, first off… I envy tall women who can look beautiful and rock confidence. Most of the times they tell us we have to starve ourselves in order to be tall and beautiful… but Paige is definitely working this pic on the banner of her website. And the one with her hair swooped back ( bio page) with the white spousal abuse top on, that is a Cover Girl ad if I ever saw one!  YOU BETTER WORK IT, WOMAN! And yes, you read correctly, spousal abuse shirt (it is my attempt at being politically correct. I dont believe in beating just your wives.. I believe in equality when it comes to  domestic abuse attire. P.S. These are just jokes, people). Now, as I sit here listening to Sick N’ Tired off her new album Imperfect Me, I am trying to figure out who she sounds like… and I’ve got nothing. I dont think that is a bad thing, I think that is a great thing… totally original. So far I am feeling Need You To Love Me, I Don’t Know, & Friend.  And while I am at it, Silly Girl’s intro is killing me softly. Look At Me Now, no relation to Chris Brown’s Version, may be my new anthem…..if only I could hear more of the song…but the 5 second snippet was cool. My only problem with the site is that the music section gives too much of the intro music and not enough Paige. I mean, Is It Me never even got to her voice. Sometimes the voice & chorus are what makes us decide if we want to buy the album. SO just a little bit and maybe even the chorus as a sample. But who am I, right? Just saying.

Oh yeh…. right…. the show.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #LaughDamnIt!

        In the famous words of Will Smith’s character Hancock, “I’ve been drinking, Bitch”. So yeh, I straight up missed the first half of this. So I will have to watch this half and then go back and watch the first half.*Rewind sound effects*

        Sinbad is having a yard sale? I mean, he did have a ton of stuff, but it would only be fair for the entire HOUSE to have a yard sale…lol. Question: Why call it a yard sale if the yard itself never gets sold? What? Dont judge me! I think that it is a legitimate question.

LMAO!!! The afro sheen blowout kit! lmao!!!! Where do they even sell that any more? hahahahahaha

        OUCH!!! I need to wear Depends while watching this show. It should be a crime to pee on yourself when you laugh so hard.  But the way that Sinbad said BB King‘s wife would get shot if she put Lucille out at a yard sale….lmao! I would wear my pee pants out in the street proudly if someone laughed as hard as I did and wanted to share our urinary issues with the world…lol. Just call me Pissy Pants Deep! lmao *POW*

        LMAO! And the way Meredith hi-jacked her clothes back from the yard sale hurt me, too. I may have a weak bladder because this show cant be this funny. She told the lady who wanted to buy her jackets to let it go and to follow Sinbad…lol.

And Paige sold Sinbad! lmao! That was funny.

        LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sinbad has a “new” knee! lmao! Who says that.?Wow… 2 knee replacements. My knee is tingling just hearing that. LMAO! And the camera men are hilarious!!!! He said their cue to leave was when he kissed his wife goodnight & it was freaky to have them there and he was about to test what they were made of. Hell, he may want to try them…that’s how we all know Kim Kardashian…but I dont think that Meredith would be down with that. Call me a psychic….but I’ve got a good feeling that it wouldnt go down like that…lmao

        HOLD UP!!!!!  Okay… if I thought that this show was scripted last week…I know for a damn fact it is scripted this week!!!!! So, the fan that won a dinner date with his wife, Cecily, and Sinbad is named WIllie. Take a trip with me, will ya. Now, as an avid television watcher, I remember a BET reality series called College Hill…and one of those season they were in the Caribbean. Well, you guessed it…Willie was one of the dudes from Cali who was on that season. Yuo remember the season… the one where teh spoiled Cali girl bussed Vaness, the Caribbean girl, in her forehead with a 4inch heel. Remember, he was the only dude who didnt have a girl in the house. He was trying to compete with Chidi for Vanessa? And then a year or two after the show ended he was in Scary Movie or some other parody movie. Yeh, all that to say….how in the hell did your daughter sell you to people that we already know in the industry who dont even live in your same damn neighborhood? *Tamar lip pout to the side* (yes, that was a Braxton reference). But…. scripted or not… I love the show. Just dont play with my level of intelligence. Don’t worry… I wont tell anyone what I know….lol. But Willie’s afro is ten times smaller. And now he is married?….hmmmm.Well, congrats. He wasnt able to get a woman on the show, but he got one in real life…lol. And I see he still likes the light skinned women.

        Okay, so did Willie really just ask to be on the road with Sinbad? Umm… Sinbad called me funny and you dont see me trying to headline his next show…lmao. Okay, really Cecily…did you just say that this was your anniversary? *Blank stare* *Side eye* And this joke that Willie told flopped so hard. And then they are pretending to fight in front of us….I feel punked. Sinbad just punked us all. We all thought that this was a reality TV show. Sinbad did this to prove a point.  You want to know why I KNOW it is off…because the editing people fudged up and had a scene of her going off on him with her jacket on…then two scenes later she is leaving and comes back for her coat. Y’all KNOW I knit pick small stuff like that for a living. Again, dont test my level of inteligence~~~ This is a reality sitcom. Yep, Sinbad has invented a new genre of television. I coined it first, so I want my 15%!

        Wait… Royce gets a brand new car? I am trying to figure this out……y’all had a yard sale and now Royce gets a car? Okay.. yeh, he is fine…but a new car. And then an F150? I have an Expedition, so I am semi-partial here….but why an F150? Is he planning on lugging things around in the back? But, I guess you like what you like. And yes, Sinbad, I know what cars cost these days… I paid for mine in full off the lot…. WOWZERS! What a price tag. I could have put a down payment on a house with that kind of money…lmao.LAWD! Did Sinbad just pull out the President’s Fiscal Budget in a Glad ziplock bag? lmao!!! If that isn’t hood rich, I have no clue what is. lmao! Let me find out Sinbad has street cred…lol.

        Okay, so, I love the dresses that Paige is picking out. I mean,  like I said above, I love the fact that she is tall and beautiful. But did Paige just say that Royce get cars & she cant get a dress?! Really?! WOW! Talk about being the favored kid. But I wonder where her performances are. I love the outfit that she finally settled on. It was as if I asked for this episode this morning and the universe gave it to me. I mean really, didn’t I ask for Paige to sing this episode? Yeh, I am psychic….lol. I wonder what song this is.  YES,!!!!!!!! Sick N’ Tired!!!! I told you that I like this song! Paige’s voice rocks. Yes… I want to download this as soon as I get back to my own laptop.  My new anthem…….cant say what I want to say because the person that I want to sing this song too… I’m using his computer…lmao! Just kidding….to an extent…lol.

        Wait!lmao! Did Sinbad say ” I’ve never lived large; I’ve lived medium” lmao! And IRS still came and got his stuff…lmao! No judgement, just saying. LMAO! I’m going to Sinbad’s house to borrow some software. lol. Damn, Sinbad is 54?!!!! I’m getting old as hell!

        And I am really, really, really trying to listen to this entire “family pulling together in a crisis” speech, but I cannot help but stare at Royce through this whole thing. I may wish to stop drooling over this handsome piece of man candy because I dont want Sinbad to use me as a prime example of a “scrimmage woman”. But Jesus…if I was 8 years younger… I would kidnap him on his way to class. lol.

        LMAO!!! What is going on with this end scene? lol. He really did not just ask who let him in his house…lol. This is why I love SInbad. Funny.

Next Week: I believe what Sinbad said… he said that he doesn’t have to be in shape because his stunt guy has to be.lol. I need a life stunt double. Hmmm… next week is going to be funny. I cant wait.

The Braxtons~Gets Wasted

Episode 1: Burmuda or Bust Tamar in the Face

Well last week’s episode was quite a rush. I was overwhelmed by everything that came out of Tamar’s mouth, and I sympathized with Traci. WHo knew that all of this was going on? But, it was entertaining to say the very least.

Now…..in hindsight, I must take a moment to apologize for something that I said. Last week I made a comment about Toni’s cheeks being chubby, and that was very insensitive of me. A subscriber to my blog commented and let me know that her cheeks were chubby because of the medication she must take for her Lupus. I felt horrible when I read that. My comment was in no way meant to take away from the undeniable beauty that she has always been, and continues to be….. I was just speaking without thinking. My mother suffered and lost her battle with Lupus so I know EXACTLY what Toni is going through. I had to make sure that I apologized for such an ignorant statement. I doubt that she reads this… but should she, I humbly apologize and hope that she accepts it. I also send the most amount of prayers in yoru direction for your health and spirit. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Now…..the rest of the sisters are not immuned to my foolery.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #BraxtonGenes

Okay, now all of this weave…….Ummmm. Tamar, how is it that the ROOTs of your LACE FRONT is in need of a touch-up? PLEASE help me to understand that? *Sigh* Y’all need to listen to Toni, because her hair is the ONLY one who stays consistently pretty. Now, I am going to add in Towanda as a tie for neat and presentable hair.

Lawd… did Toni just say that Traci’s phone is a New Jack City phone?! I dont think that I ever had a phone that was that thick and huge! And the sucker has an antena! hahahahahahahahaah Oh goodness, my side hurts. I say we start a telethon where we save up enough money to get Traci a smart phone; one that would be smart enough to stop working when it goes out of style…lmao

BOOM! Trina got a DUI? But was this a moment to tell your family? WOWZERS! And she doesnt remember what the breathlizer numbers were? LMAO!!! Wait… Towands said, “If it doesnt make sense, its a lie” LMAO! I am straight up stealing that one! lol….genius! Did I mention that I love her?! She is my second fav! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Trina had to take off her wig and wig cap to take a mug shot! lmao! She looks like a crackhead in this mug shot. Straight up Charliesha Sheen in this bitch. WINNING! lmao! Ladies, this is a prime example that you need to just go ahead and sew your shit in or have it in corn rows under that lacefront….lol.

Now, I would have never put Towanda and Andre together…and I damn sure wouldnt have placed them in a marriage. And then he is sitting at home writing but not selling books? I understand to an extent, because my book has been on my computer since October, but I have a day job…lol. OUCH! Did Andre just tell his wife that he felt like he married his mother? AND THEN this fool just told her that “every man could see themselves with another woman, and any one who says that he doesnt is lying”. WOWZERS!! Boo, I am single, but I wouldnt do it. He is straight living off of you and he needs to bounce.

Taste of Atlanta festival…. yummmy. I remember the good old days!!!! I need to go back down to the A and hang out with the fam.

And it is the sign of a great black household when you see grown women afraid to tell their mothers bad news, especially when you have acted an ass. I remember seeing my aunt get pimp slapped by my great-grandmother because she said “what”. lol. Funny.

And I wish that Tamar would be supportive for Trina. I mean, really…but let the girl be a background singer if she wants to sing in a coverband. I do understand, however that you sing background for Toni….if youstep out, why not be the lead all the time. But to each his/her own. And they thought that this was the moment where they needed to take and intervention type of measure. But of course, having a sister like Tamar would drive my ass to drink too.

Is this motherfucker, Andre, playing video games in another room? LMAO!!! Towanda is more of a woman than I could EVER be, because he would have been gone a looooong time ago.

Gabe, Trinia’s husband, is off the hook. I think that they need to break up too. And this fool said that he is more connected to their Father ( the man who cheated on their mother)!!!!! And Tamar is going to break up this marriage even more just by the shit that is coming out of her mouth! I understand concern, but I do NOT believe that you should make her business your business.  But then again, I dont live in the land of Tamar.

And I love that Toni called herself Julia Childs.

And yes, preach Brooklyn (Acting Coach)!!!! I too think that Tamar is uptight…but I wouldnt have chosen the words uptight. Try, bitch, ghetto, stupid, off the chain…..what? I have more if you want them. Oh yeh, Brooklyn can get it.

What the FUCGE is going on with Tamar and these dot coms!!!!!? Try….shutthefuckupTamar.com.

Dr. Sherry Blake, hmmmm… gonna have to Google search her since Toni feels she is such a great help. And Tamar…the more she protests that Gabe is crazy the more I want to put her in a straight jacket. I personally think that the ONLY reason she married her husband is because of who he is and what he can do for her. I think that is Vincent was just a regular man, she wouldnt have given him the time of day. Every time she opens her mouth it is abotu how much money HER MAN makes, WHERE HER MAN lives, what HER MAN buys….because last time I checked, boo…that is only your money via marriage. So shut the fuck up!

And wow! Towanda is singing Usher all the way to the lawyer’s office. She’s giving Andre some seperation papers. I am proud of her. She knows her worth and she is NOT letting Andre define that.

I just dont understand why they were so quick to want to tell Mommy how Trina got a DUI, but no one would tell her that they didnt like her blackberry dumplings. *SMDH* I get tired watching this show… but I love it.

Information on Dr. Sherry Blake:

* Twitter: @drsherryonline

*Website: www.drsherryonline.com

*Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~