Love and Hip Hop: Basketball Jump-offs Set To Music

Episode 1: Should’ve Called It Rap

        So, after watching last week’s premiere episode, I quickly came to the conclusion that this was merely Basketball Wives set to music. Can’t you see it. Mashonda is just a hip hop version of Shaunie O’Neal, Fabolous‘ woman is nothing more than a weaker version of Jennifer, and Olivia is Royce (no offense), just meaning that they are the only one’s who have something going for themselves besides being known as a male star’s arm trophy. Somaya is Tammy for lack of character equivalency, and the only thing that Chrissy has over Gloria and Evelyn is that she has her man and he claims her in public…lmao! Put a couple of bitches, hoes, and an 808 drop in there and you’ve got yourself an episode of Love & Hip Hop.

        Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure these are struggles that are very hard to go through. But fuck me if I’m wrong, you put your business on NATIONAL television for the world to see, knowing that you would get judged. Well, all rise. The Honorable 2Deep presiding. LMAO! Whatever you THOUGHT was going to come from letting cameras in your life wasnt going to end at the cashing of checks.

       And was I the only one who can’t listen to Fab’s music any more after seeing how he treats his woman? Girl.. whatever your name is… move on. The nigger can’t spell fabulous correctly any way. You don’t want your baby growing up illiterate like his dumb ass daddy, do you? *ugh* I just got a bad taste in my mouth after writing that recap. But… the DVR is set to record just in case I don’t make it back home in time after this production meeting.  So….

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #MyMicSoundsNice ….Check 1

        Okay, judging by this intro…Chrissy is insecure. Has she not figured out that she is the ugly bitch in her crew? Not saying that she is ugly, because who am I to judge….but out of her crew…she’s the ugly bitch. Of course, I would be angry too.

        OUCH!!!! Is her girl calling Olivia out?! Wait… is that Fabolous’ girl snitching on someone else’s relationship? Soooo wow!!!! Olivia just got busted on NATIONAL TV for lying about still dating football player Revis….smh!!!!But dont you just HATE it when bitches who don’t have things going on straight in their own house they have to jump out and act all hard. I mean, where is this bitch’s voice when Fab is walking the red carpet without her ass? Why is she not moving out of the house that she and Fab live in and be on her own? Why not check Fab while you’re crying on Mashonda‘s shoulder and then acting hard for this football player just because you buy his clothes. Damn, I can’t even remember her name. Let me Google “Fab’s bitch” and see what comes up…..shit, nothing. See what I mean. And judging by  the RUMORS circulating the net, you aint the woman with the ring on her hand in all of Fab’s new pics…..see how you should learn how to prioritize your mess!

        Damn! Okay… I know I hate to talk about someone’s mother…. but doesn’t Mama Jones look Like Frankie? Man down!!! Okay, well at least those are her teeth….I think. Wait! Chrissy doesn’t have money or access to Jim, Jimmy, or Jumbo’s money…hahahah. Funny. So she is already telling us that she is not taking care of her own finances. Jim could pull a Fab and ignore you and what will you do then?  Ugh…. watching this relationship between Mama Jones and Chrissy is making me uncomfortable. *ugh!

        Okay… Somaya turned down the panty shot….but then she got into a swimsuit and hot pants up her ass. Okay boo… bullet wounds and big booties are in this season, havent you heard? Dudes don’t care about your bullet wound…lol. Okay, I shouldnt joke like that. But I am happy that she stuck to her guns. Even though there are pics on the net that show way more than what she chose to show because the cameras are around. I’m lost. Is she a reformed hoe now? Is there a reformed pimp in heaven getting his wings? I love how video hoes get self-esteem when shit is being recorded. Girl, you better go make that money and not let that money make you!

        HOLD UP!!! Why is Chrissy making comments on Somaya’s music. Why are you letting this bitch up in your business, Jim? As a person just watching the show… Chrissy talks that shit in places where she can get away with shit.. I bet you $50 she wont pull that get buck shit in D.C. or Montgomery, Alabama. I know 5 chicks off the top of my head who would shut that trick down. I hate short bitches with Napolean complexes who talk all this mess.Speaking of mess… this autotuned bullshit of Somaya’s….smh. Okay, maybe I need to hear the full song but didn’t 50 already do a song about riding a bus and will his girl be there for him? Out of all the things that happen in this world, why are we repeating motifs?

         Okay.. so who with money drinks champagne in plastic cups, out the trunk of a Benz, in front of a house? Yes, that screams classy as a motherfucker right there!!!! So it is official, she is just the Alcoholic Anonymous version of Frankie. Got it! Glad that was clarified. Is that a full pig? I think my inner Muslim just told me not to eat pig ever again.

***Sidebar: Who is that fine ass buff dude at Jim’s Birthday party?!

        Aww… Jim Jones is dropping tears!!!! OKAY! HE GETS MAD PROPS!!! I just LOVE how Jim Jones shows active affection for Chrissy and her crazy ass! lol. THAT is a man… *standing ovation* Man…see groupies…see how sexy he just got by showing his woman love and letting her in and letting the world know how much he loves her. Wait.. did this girl’s dress almost catch on fire…lol. That was hilarious.  Okay. Jim gets mad love from me on this episode. That is all I have to say about that.

       Conclusion: Chrissy needs to get slapped, Olivia needs to stop lying on professional dick, Fab’s secret bitch needs a life, and Somaya needs to go back to Cali. Okay… that is all. I will be watching again next week. This show is like a train wreck…or Bobbie Christina without adult supervision, you know you’re suppose to help but that aint your kid…lmao!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~