~*2Deep*~

Archive for January, 2011|Monthly archive page

Is the Male a Temple?

In 200 Men Said.... on 17 January 2011 at 4:26 am

As I have mentioned before, I have 2 nephews, 4 brothers, and 7 godbrothers…so the plight of man has become a big deal to me. I have no clue why I care so much, but I do. It often times baffles me how we can place so much concern into our women and not instill the same values in our men that would allow them to appreciate those in his girl when he sees them. There is a HUGE disconnect here.

As a girl I was taught to respect my body, make people earn me, and how every guy is not worthy enough to even step next to me. But I don’t think that my male siblings were taught the same things. I know for a fact a ton of my guy friends were not taught the same things. Or maybe they were, but it was for different reasons. Maybe they were taught by their mothers to not be with every girl but only for the purpose of not getting her pregnant or to get a girl of quality pregnant if it should occur. I know this could be an exaggeration, but who knows what is taught in opposition of my feminine training via the Man Code handbook. I just don’t think that our men are getting the same core messages as our girls as we grow up.

We are quick to point a finger and call a guy a dog before we help. Women are excelling in school and in the work place faster than guys and THIS in turn messes with the head of household dynamic. Has anyone else seen the connection? Has anyone reached out? We see guys flashing their private parts in their profile pics, vying to get as many girls as possible to sleep with them in a month, and abusive self behaviors. This saddens me when I see it. I reach out and ask the guy what makes him do this, why does he think this behavior is appropriate and many times I don’t get an answer.  SO I decided to ask my 200 men directly to see what they think.

200 men were asked:

Do you, as a man, feel that you were taught to value your body, treat it as a temple, or to make people earn you? If not, do you think those things are important to you? Or are they meant only for women?

As usual, I wish I had the patience to copy past 200 responses, but I don’t… so here is what some of them said:

  1. big slim: I LUV ME..AND MY BODY MEANS EVERYTHING 2 ME
  2. Bear0007: It is meant for every one love, God gave us these bodies to be his temple and treat it as such.
  3.  Black Kryptonite aka the KID: I think as a black young male, we are taught that are bodies will get us far in life whether with sports or women. It is important to maintain a healthy body for a long life.
  4. Sybree B: I feel that a man and a woman should treat their body as their temple because it shows how they actually feel about themselves.And it shouldn’t matter as long as you have self-confidence..
  5. Code Name Bigsexy: only for women.as a man you were never taught to do any thing [so] your body tells you [to] go get it if you like it.i think
  6. Ddouble R: (1) yes in many ways like tatts and Piercing they’re all good but why mess with perfection? it tells people you like how you look, so handle me with care. (2) no that’s dealing with everyone….. goes both ways….
  7. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well i was raised by a Single mom and Sisters, the values that were instilled in me was that i should treat my body with the utmost respect and shouldn’t be desecrated. So i have very high value for my body.
  8. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Although these things were taught to me they are not taught to the majority of males… Society teaches that boys will be boys. They are important to me but it all depends on your background
  9. James M: I wasn’t taught to value my body in a traditional way like at home. I only learned those things when I started playing sports at high school and college levels. Learning to eat right and stay in shape is something everyone can benefit from.
  10. Eric R: yes, i was taught to treat my body like a temple.
  11. James L: I had to learn to value my temple. I was taught by my mom to be a good person. When I started reading the bible it taught me to honor God with my body. It’s very important to live a balanced life. Men should stand strong just like women should.
  12. Chris C: Never really thought about it…some good food for thought!…I’ll get back to you on this one!
  13. Aries Brother: For the first part of this question..No I wasn’t. It is something I learned myself as time came and went. I do feel it is important to be conscientious of what we put in our body. But we don’t always want what is good to, and [good] for us in this life.
  14. Dezi: I was raised to always value my body and when you do my body(temple) will display itself so society will see it. And yes I believe men should be earned and not compromised. Also the Male body was always for the WOMAN to enjoy.
  15. Jeff C: I think I was taught that but I have learned .

 

The one thing that sticks out to me is that just about EVERY guy thought that treating his body like a temple meant to feed it right and to work out. Not one thought about the sexual aspects and the access that they give people to their bodies. There is a disconnect here. Why are our young men not receiving the message that they too are worth the wait? Why are they not making these chicken head girls work for them? Why is the easy was desired over the road less traveled? Dont they know that the road less traveled is a gold mine full of prime self-respect real estate just waiting for people to come scoop it up? Not one really mentioned that they stick to such strict guidelines as the girls do. We’ve got to change this!!!!! We’ve got to produce better boys that will become better gentlemen and then on to be better Men period!!!! I think I just found another one of my life’s calling by starting this series. I’m here to help my fellow man! I’m okay with that, because the better they are, the better the world will be!!!!

~Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

“Same”phobic Homosapiens

In 200 Men Said.... on 14 January 2011 at 10:27 am

        I am very much a , pardon the expression, “Fag Hag”. Yes, I simply adore the LBGT community. I don’t judge. And if you read my blog entry called “I’m Not A Lesbian, but I Played One in College”  (<~Click to read) then you would know just how close this subject is to my heart. I feel like I’m an honorary LBGT crusader. And I have tons of friends who are out, many who are not, and others who I think are but may not feel comfortable expressing that side of themselves to me because they may not know where I stand. Well, I stand on the side of understanding. I understand that we all have things about us that others may not like, but it shouldnt stop us from being who we are as long as it doesn’t harm us or others. There. That is my stance from now until eternity. Besides, what you do in your bed room is none of my business, just as what I do in mine is none of yours…..but I’m sure we’ll love each other just the same in the morning no matter what occurred behind close doors or on kitchen counters. Just let me know before I eat at your breakfast nook. Thanks.

        So, Biblical references to the side momentarily… yes I said put it to the side for a moment. Because if you lived by every word in that Bible you would still be a virgin. SO HUSH IT UP! You point at other people’s faults and I will point at yours. Yep, tit for bigot! Where was I? Oh yes, with all religious views to the side, let’s get to the core of this issue. Why are most people afraid of homosexual men. How odd how men don’t mind two lesbians going at it but something about the fiber of them cracks every time a homosexual man holds another man’s hand. Why is that? If they are not bothering you or trying to convert you ( against popular belief you can not be converted…unless you already wanted to be…lol) why is it any of your concern who they choose to love? I read in a medical article how the female body begins to attack the male fetus because it sees the testosterone as an outsider, or virus even, and begins to try to balance the high levels of testosterone with estrogen. This is extremely prevalent in women who have multiple sons. This raises the chances of the younger son being more feminine that the others. I think that could be true because our bodies have a way of protecting its self. So you know what they say, God doesn’t make mistakes. I know I said to leave the religion to the side, but I had to say it.

So, since many women are gay friendly, I had to ask my 200 men for their opinion. 200 men were asked:

Why do you think so many men are homophobic if they’re secure in their manhood? Please be RESPECTFUL when answering. I’m not asking you to judge the lifestyle but rather why men respond to the lifestyle so negatively. Thanks.

And some of the 200 responded with :

  1. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: I think men have the same reasons [for being] homophobic [as] people [have for being] racist or fearful of most things… just a simple lack of understanding and no willingness to understand. Insecurity, I’m sure plays a major role
  2. Kenneth H: No real [man] likes homo. It is what it is. Sorry, I’m from the old school (,2Deep: So there were no gays in the old school? lol)
  3. Erik B: i don’t know. but i know for me, someone’s preference has nothing to do with my lifestyle. so i can’t speak for someone else.
  4. Truly Blessed with Love: Dont think its homophobic. I truly think that they aren’t secure in their manhood and I personally don’t need to [have] some gay man around me for a woman to say, “oh he’s secure about his manhood.”  if [you need] something like that to prove that you are then you really [weren’t as] secure
  5. Code Name Bigsexy: i feel like that lifestyle is pushed on straight people.in movies and in life.its made like straight people are the 1’s who are out the norm.i don’t like the fact that its public. as a father how do you tell your kids whats going on??
  6.  !: Because it’s a very taboo lifestyle, especially in the black community. Str8 men are that way b/c they don’t want women to think they are homo’s, which is bad for them and their love life….If you see a str8 man with a homo, you would be suspect too.
  7.  H.O. R: [I] PERSONALLY WONDER WHY PEOPLE, IN GENERAL, ARE SO NEGATIVE THESE DAYS ….PERIOD. BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,  I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE GAY OR WHATEVA JUST DON’T DISRESPECT ME AND WE’RE GOOD. AND JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AND THEY WILL GET RESPECT
  8. DJ Urban Cowboy: People are always paranoid of the unknown. They are homophobic because they have not taken the time to understand the culture.
  9. Young fresh to D: that’s a good question. i think some men can’t handle homos in any form but everybody is different
  10. Jay S: they are really not homophobic. we just can’t deal with being hit on by another male
  11. Lost in my own mind: it is possible that it could be [the way] they were raised or brought up in [their] household. Mainly, i blame media because the media makes it seem as if you become friends with a person that possesses those qualities [then] you will become gay or end up doing [homo]sexual things
  12.  Trayvon S {Men Of Respect}: men are homophobic ’cause [the] world tells you that being gay is wrong. and people see a man talking to a gay man [and] thinks he is gay. so men that are straight [don’t] associate with them.  personally, i don’t care about some one being a homo,cause i love women
  13.  Live And Love or LAL: This goes against nature, and God himself. Man [was not built for] sexual activity with another man but with a woman. that’s why God gave us two different sex organs to compliment each other.
  14. Conscious 1: ooh lawd.  Well to answer you most recent question.  I think homophobia has been poorly defined by the portion of the gay community who has a political agenda.  One can’t want the right to express themselves and their lifestyle then block those who disagree with it.  They demonize their own existence by using the negative stigma of homosexual men and either stating a man who isn’t a homosexual has a phobia or is secretly gay.  A phobia is a fear.  A disagreement is not synonymous nor is it a measuring rod of ones manhood. 
  15. Bryan P: well to be real [some] guys are real homophobic because i think they have something to hide in [their] closet … and i would never judge [someone] over their choice of who they like …
  16. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I don’t think a lot of guys are homophobic. a lot of guys become defensive if a gay guy tends to venture his way or try to hit on the straight guy. I have been hit on by a gay guy and i got mad because he [doesn’] know me, so don’t come at me like that……
  17.  Young ’84 T2G: people in general don’t like what they don’t understand. I can’t speak for every man but I don’t judge anyone for what they decide to be [with] or do. Most men I know though don’t understand how a man can be interested in another man.
  18. Aries Brotha: The fear that whatever makes homosexuals function will [be passed] on to them by touch, close proximity, or association. Fear is such a powerful weapon and the bible, media, and everything we read and write tells us/conditions us to believe it’s wrong.
  19.  Kip S: I will answer this as a non homophobic man. It is a pride thing. With excessive pride comes ignorance, which leads to the typical homophobic man. If we don’t understand it, we look at it as a disease.
  20.  ”DUKE” BANNER: they just don’t understand. they think [that] all gay men want them. but if you’re like me ,not gay,[you don’t] give them no reason to think that they can approach [you] in that way. no im not homophobic
  21.  P Reddz: PERSONALLY,IAM JUST AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY.NOW I MUST ADMIT IT DOES TURN ME ON WHEN ITS 2 WOMEN, BUT MEN [ON] MEN, UH UH.ITS JUST WRONG.I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR RIGHT TO DO AS THEY PLEASE. I DONT GO AROUND HARRASSING AND INSULTING GAY PEOPLE..
  22.  Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: It’s an Abomination of the life. It [means they] cannot procreate which is part of our natural design by the creator. Any support of it is telling the father to go to hell.
  23. Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Well Real Men Hate Folly n foolishness [and] Try 2 Line Up the Spirit With The Word… Then Also Sum Might Be Fakin N They Like Dat Foolishness But Dnt Wanna Be Judged.. It’s All Types Of Excuses Y!!..Anutha One Is It Might Touch On the Ego, Which No Man Likes
  24.  Steven C {{QB}}: The better question is …ask God why he Hates it so much? (2Deep: I asked, I didn’t get an answer back yet. I checked the Bible, too. Nothing in red ink stating this fact either. Next time you talk to Him, please tell him to call me so that I can be put on 3-way for this discussion. I’d appreciate it.)
  25.  …….: Maybe they vehemently disagree with it

And my favorite response came down to:

  • Horace J: Phobic/phobia in simple terms “a fear of; a desire to avoid”… I don’t believe men have a fear of male homosexuals the latter part of the simple def “a desire to avoid activities”, yes. It deals with a vulnerable state we only express with. women.

        I felt almost as if I had to respond to some of these remarks. Kenneth H said that ” no real man likes a homo”. SO based on the definition of homo, which means same or of likeness, he is saying that no real man likes the same. The same what? The same person who loves the same way he does? Someone who has the same philosophies as he does? I have this haiku that I wrote that says:

I wish you were gay

So you can take it like a

Man, you punk ass bitch

        Everyone rolls into laughter when I say that poem. But I honestly think that it takes a REAL man to go against the grain of what everyone else thinks he should do just so that he can remain true to himself at all times. And if that requires him to love another man….then you have my full support and my understanding. Because I understand what it can do for you to morph to try to please everyone else. It’s not healthy. If its wrong, then it is wrong. No one will be cleared of all of their sins unless asked to be forgiven on their death beds. So while here on earth. I accept everyone for their faults. If they tithe, if they love thy neighbor, if they don’t kill or steal, or covet their neighbors… I’m pretty sure that they are on the right track and the rest of us are sinning by having sex PERIOD! It doesn’t matter who you have sex with, the sin is sex before marriage. End of story. So… that explanation is also my response to Live and Love or LAL. I’m doing what your screen name says I should do. I am living my life and I am loving everyone, even those who are not like me. Or does your name not apply to the homosexual community? Not an attack… just wondering. And yes, God gave us organs to compliment one another….please spread the word to your STRAIGHT brothers who enjoy engaging in anal sex with a woman. Or does that not constitute as a complimentary entrance? Does oral sex count as a complimentary entrance….or should we just stick to missionary? And based on what Steven C {{QB}} said, I just have to shake my head. How quick black men are to forget that not even a full 2 centuries ago slavery ended, and even during the civil rights and still today there are Klu Klux Klan members shouting that God made the white man ruler over all other races. They used the Bible to control those that they were afraid of and a culture that they didn’t understand. Are we REALLY gonna use the same backdoor pew hatred? And even if there were documented proof that God said, which would be signified by red ink, that homosexuality is wrong it still wouldn’t be right to condemn one sin by being hateful and breaking other laws of God at the same time.I started this topic just because I was curious, but now I am saddened at the divide amongst humans.  I understand the connection to the church, I do and I love the Lord….he created us all and I believe that my role is to love EVERYONE. If I live my life according to his will and set an example for others, then they will come to God and HE will be the one to make any changes that he sees fit ( if any at all are needed). I think we as human beings have taken on God’s role far too much and have in turn tarnished his name by doing unjust things in it. I cannot and will not pass judgement (throw stones) or hate in JEsus’ name just because one minister quoted a verse in the Bible that he takes to be condemning homosexuality. Again, I will love, preach the word without judgement and people will come to know that God is a loving God and feel more welcome in His house. I have faith that God is still God and he can do more than I ever could, therefore I will continue to love and promote his word without hate, judgement or condemning actions. That’s my truth, and I’m sticking to it.

          Code Name Big Sexy says that he feels that the gay lifestyle is pushed on straight people, but I feel it is the other way around. I think that since people THINK that heterosexuals are the majority and are the right way to be heterosexuals push our lifestyle on to homosexuals. People are losing jobs, can’t protect our country or serve in our churches because we are pushing our sexual ideals on to them. A heterosexual isn’t losing their job because they didn’t turn gay. A heterosexual isn’t getting chained up to fences in Wyoming because they didn’t turn gay. (R.I.P Matthew). And yet heterosexuals feel as if the homosexuals are forcing themselves into our way of thinking? They are merely asking to be accepted as humans and treated fairly. And as a father, you should want your child to know that there are people who are different from you and them, but do so in a way to explain how your morals are set  up and not to teach hate. This form of communication will also open the window for your children to feel they can come talk to you when they have questions. It is a dialogue.  And that leads me to Jay S. Honey, you are a nice looking man, I agree, but every gay man does not want you nor will they hit on you. I GUARANTEE you that one of my gay friends could kick it with you and you would never know he was gay and never once would he hit on you because you are not his type. We have to get away from the stereotype that all gay men hit on every straight man. That is the HUGEST fallacy in the world! They are human. They like football, they look like some of your homeboys. All gay men are not feminine and switch their hips. So let’s get that out of our heads. Unless you want them to hit on you, then I support you too ( JUST KIDDING!!!).

        I think that the culture has to change in order for everyone to feel comfortable to be themselves. We have to change the way we think. They once thought that the earth was flat, the sun revolved around us, and that Tupac was dead, and we all know the truth now…don’t we? We have to have open minds to learn what is different from us. It is about respect, acceptance, and community. Gay is just a label that a label-giving society gave a group of people. How ironic that gay means happy.  I wonder what it would be like if we all could be happy just the same. Because from where I sit, we’re just scared of the unknown… and I don’t want to associate with a bunch of scaredy cats; No Homo(sapien). lol.

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT SO THAT WE CAN KEEP DISCUSSIONS LIKE THIS GOING!!!! I’m gonna stop writing if people don’t start leaving comments here on my blog!!!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together…or NOT!

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 13 January 2011 at 1:19 am

       

         I WILL NOT CALL THIS COONERY!!! I WILL NOT CALL THIS COONERY!!! Okay, I lied… what the hell was up with this coonery? I’m blown. The commercials hyped it up so much and I was highly disappointed. I think that the characters need to pull out one of Palin’s guns and aim them directly at the writing department. Then turn them on themselves.

        Character development: First off, it was hard for me to remember who the married couple was and who the engaged couple was. Right off the bat the engaged chick is walking from another room talking about how good the sex her and her fully dressed fiance just had… I think…moments before. Umm, 1. What were you doing coming from another room dancing? 2. You used the Kamasutra book, right? 3. It couldn’t have been that good if you both were dressed and you were able to use both legs willingly to dance in from another room. Woman, you should have been knocked out and discussing what happened LAST night when you woke up the next morning. Secondly…..Can we have a couple on modern TV that is yet to get married who has NOT moved in with one another? Am I too archaic with this thought process? I honestly thought I was watching two married couples thinking what the hell was the sister doing there.

        Writing: Ummmmm, the jury is still out on whether or not I can classify this as writing. Refer back to character development. Is it a curse to properly establish who the hell I’m watching before bombarding me with this horrible malay of word choices and scenarios. What does the husband do again that he has to work at night, can wear a suit, and can take off when he feels like it because he wants to pursue his lounge act?  And the sister….no. I don’t care HOW GHETTO they wanted to make her, aint no way in hell you can get a sister to rat out her brother to his fiancée!!! Aint no way! That was a perfect opportunity for the married sister, Tasha ( I ONLY remember because The Game just went off and Tasha Mack is my girl…but can we pick some other African Names?) …shit.. lost my train of thought. Oh.. that was a perfect opportunity for Tasha to have a scene at the house trying to figure out what the ghetto sister wouldn’t tell her about the ring. Everything was redundant and obvious. I also don’t know any BLACK man who would be so calm about his girl turning in a ring he gave her under ANY circumstance. I think the writing doesn’t match the comedic acting choices. The writing is too serious for the light-hearted movement and tones that the actors are using.

Acting: Hmmmm… the cast. I still don’t know if I can say that this was a good fit. I am, however, just happy and counting my blessing that different actors are employed in Hollywood. But other than that….WTF! As a person who has degrees in Theatre, it was like punching me in the face with all of this mockery of my art. The lounge scene was so over the top that I swear I saw Jesus chilling in the background. There was a way to be genuine with that scene and still suck. Like if they thought they were good but really sucked it would have been more believable. Like I said, the writing didn’t match the acting choices. Other than Tasha, I don’t remember anyone’s names…but I do remember the engaged female is a doctor only because of the threat she gave. And the single sister…. please take away her accent. Please!

Overall Opinion: This show has a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go to grab our attention. I think that they may have lost some of The Game’s residual following with this horrible opening. I don’t even know how you could come back from this since everything is all ready filmed. This is evident in the fact that The Game was the buzz topic last night and everyone went silent as Let’s Stay Together came on. I’m gonna pledge now to give it 4 Episodes of faith before I rip into it like a rapist to a jogger dumb enough to run in the dark at 4am.

DOnt want to use your own email? Use 2deepuncensored@gmail.com to leave a comment!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game: Don’t Call it a Comeback Pt2

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 12 January 2011 at 10:43 am

       

        “Game on, Bitches!” rang from my television like the opening to the Hood Olympics and all I could think was, “SHE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!” BET had answered my question, Tasha Mack would be allowed to keep her bitches and hoes! Yes, first fear averted! I had others, old ones, new ones, suspicions, and plain out disbelief. But at least The Game was back!

        The opening was like a whirl wind of musical characters as you tried to pin reality on the nearest scenario. If it weren’t for me seeing Russ Parr’s 35 & Ticking, I wouldn’t have known that was Meagan Good slapping the shit out of Malik in the opening. I love that haircut on her by the way, but I’ll come back to her. It was so much to take in, it was as if I didn’t know where to start. It was almost as if I were watching Why Did I Get Married Too where I think they crammed too much into the intro to get us all to play catch up after two years. I was being force-fed these people who I knew and sat there looking at them as if they were strangers. I get it, it is my fault for believing that the show would pick up from the last episode that I watched the last weekend in the marathon. And yes, the actors haven’t been around one another in these roles in two years. And yes, the cinematic quality wasnt the same and threw me off too. And FUCK yeh, the change in scenery and set design was like I’d been kidnapped and placed in a new foster home. So okay, I get it. They were setting up the season….but what a way to do it.

        Melanie Barnett-Davis: The hair grew back in and the clothes were a little more flashy than we’ve become accustomed to for her. I get it, she is more mature, the wife of a star athlete, and in high demand. Yet, there was a girl next door quality that use to ring from Melanie that I think left in this first episode.  The old Med School came from money but she wasnt money and I feel like, in just two years, she has gotten so caught up in this world of fame that we can hardly recognize her.  Also, I understand that you want to make your marriage work, but boo…..WHY THE HELL DID YOU GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL JUST TO WIND UP NOT PRACTICING MEDICINE!!! My inner Dione?Tasha mix wanted to jump off of my Ikea bed and smack the living Mrs. Davis out of her. It was all so reminiscent of Ludacris’ girlfriend. There is ALWAYS a way to make things work without having to sacrifice a huge part of who you are. DERWIN messed up. DERWIN didnt sacrifice his life, why the FUNKY MONKEY should Melanie have to give up her dream to, yet again, accommodate to a man who wants it to be all about him?! Yes, I am furious about this change. He messed up, so if her wanted her back… he should have taken her back just the way that she was. I’ll never get over this part. Also, the whole DNA mouth swab segment, that freaked me out in so many ways. Remind me to NEVER leave my kid alone (if I ever have any) with my baby’s daddy’s wife. WHO DOES THAT?! Creepy!!! And it took her two years to have the opportunity to do it?  WOW! Speaking of WOW! Please tell BET’s wardrobe department to NEVER put an all white outfit on ANYONE…because I could see all Melanie’s goodies! I can’t wait to see how this unfolds. If I were Mel, I would tell him to get tested again and get a second opinion because those things can be wrong…something to cover up the fact that the news was inaccurate. ARGH!!! Okay, the show has already sucked me in.

        Derwin Davis: I really didn’t see that much of him, but it did creep me out that he was talking to his kid about women the way that he was. CREEPY!!!  It was so melodramatic. I didn’t know how to take it. Where is the light-hearted Derwin. I know the situation called for drama.. but I wasnt fully buying it. Also, Melanie told him it wasnt his before he left, so why would he need to come home and ask her again? I was so lost by that. Also, what did Melanie take of Derwin’s to match with DJ’s DNA? They didn’t show that and I wasnt willing to hand over that much suspense of disbelief. I’m still pissed that Mel gave up her career so…NEXT

        Tasha Mack: WTF!!! What in the hell happened to Rick Fox. Weren’t they all in love in the last episode? Okay, his contract may not have been renewed…but REALLY!!!! Terrance J? I need to be warned when that much bird chest is going to be thrown in my direction. Have you ever heard of the bird flu?!!!! I will never be able to watch 106 & Park ever again. I mean, his acting was good…but it was still Terrance J trying to be someone else. They didn’t ooze him in good enough. We saw all of Tasha’s other relationships develop and I feel that they forced this one on us.  And when the fuck did Tasha start smoking? She was holding that Black and Mild all weird. it just didn’t seem right. Also, since WHEN has Tasha been afraid of anyone? Especially Kelly?!!!! I don’t care if she hit you in front of your mama…the old Tasha Mack would have gone after her harder and swifter. Tasha Mack isn’t afraid of anything but love…so I’m NOT buying it. I also…and maybe I cant remember it, I didn’t see Tasha interact with Malik once in the entire show. So how is that relationship fairing out? I’m so confused. Also, I know damn well Tasha Mack wasnt intimidated by Heree. Yes, He-Ree and her acting debut. TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO ATLANTA AND STAY OFF MY SHOW!

        Malik El DeBarge Wright: Ummmm… I think he lost some of his human side. He’s always been an ass, but not this much and not on purpose.  His whole situation with Meagan & Allison… Malik would do stuff like this with random chicks, but NOT with anyone he knew. I dont know if I like this change. I wanted to punch him for what he did to TT. Meagan, she did the damn thang! I applaud her addition to the show. Not the best woman for Malik, but the best woman to play this role. I support her. Now if I could just remember her character’s name…..

        Kelly Pitts: WTF!? She was bugging me the entire time. It was so over the top and false. And I get what she was trying to portray but it came across as Acting 101 scene workshopping. I get it… new personality with being single, but where is the core of who Kelly is? I think she bypassed independence and went to the other end of the spectrum with dependency. I’m giving her four episodes to get her acting together before I dismiss her. COme on Brittany…. bring it back to the core of how well I KNOW you can do. And trust me, we’ve seen better.

        Jason Pitts: I think they crammed 3 seasons of his arrogance into one episode and it was a tough pill to swallow. it wasnt subtle. It didn’t sneak up on you. The one thing I did like was when he took over the show. THAT was a traditional Jason Pitts move. THAT was believable and I was with it. He can stay.

        Brittany Pitts: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL?! I’m all for dark-skinned people being employed, but where is my original Brit Brat? This child is darker than both of them. I guess Tasha’s skin darkening theory is correct, b/c if a mixed baby can darken after 2 years into puberty then DJ has some years to go to get darker…lol. BRING THE OLD BRITTANY BACK! I don’t care how you do it. Just bring her back.

          There were a ton of things that I didn’t know how I felt about, some good and some bad. Like, I don’t know yet how I feel about TT actually having an opinion. Him standing up to Malik came out of left field like a roaming eye. What went down between them BEFORE Allison that made him no longer want to be his assistant? Also, where the Sabers bought again or was this the same owner from the last season and we just never saw him? Did Tasha reopen Tasha Mack Management or is she with another agency? ARGH!!!! My brain hurts!

         Okay, my overall grade for the comeback….. B. Now, part of that grade is because I have never witnessed a show returning after being canceled so I have no clue what to expect and I may have expected the EXACT same show to return and it didn’t. If they had don’t a collage of them packing up one house and moving into another that would have prepared me for the set change. If they had spent more time in this episode catching us up rather than throwing us into their current lives it wouldn’t have been such a jolt. And if it didn’t feel like such a soap opera I would have given it a higher grade. I felt like they put everyone’s problems into one episode. Out of 7 people, they should have picked 2 to showcase this episode and 3 the next and we could have built from there. But since I dont live in a world of “IFs” I had to grade it on what it gave me and that was a B. I have faith that it will get better. We just have to get re-associated with the cast as they get back into the chemistry and dynamic that they built the first three seasons. Because these characters were so left field. But….I have faith ( I’m going to keep repeating this). I have faith. I’m glad its back and this first episode was just a bump in the road. The rest of the episodes will be what we’re use to. We’re all treading into new territory……let’s continue to support.

P.S. Want to leave a comment but don’t want to use your own email address? Use 2deepuncensored@gmail.com .

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game: Dont Call it a Comeback! Pt1

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 11 January 2011 at 2:23 pm

 

        Tasha Mack’s “Pow, Pow”s and the mystery that lives in her trunk. Girl Melanie aka Med School & her declarations of “I’m in Medical School”. Kelly “Independent Woman in the Making” Pitts and her Above Ground Railroad journey back to herself. Derwin “Ding Dong” Davis and his overall confusion about life. Jason “Oh SO Cheap” Pitts and his coupons. Malik “2nd Chance El DeBarge” Wright and his mama’s boy tendencies. Brit Brat, Rick *hand gesture* *2nd hand gesture* Fox, T-T, Dione, and a slew of other people. Guess what…. they are back, TONIGHT!!! Yes, its true, The Game will grace our TVs TONIGHT!!!

        I know I am not the only one who has religiously watched The Game while it was on and since it has been gone, but somehow never left. I feel as if I am in a cult and I worship the Sabers. There should be a Game Support group for those of us who were suffering from withdrawal, watching episodes as if it were the first time and then calling your girlfriends to tell them how we were going to hunt down Drew Sidora for breaking up a happy home. Yes, this was us. Quoting Melanie when she said, “You faked a ‘That’s what’s up'”. Or Malik when he gave Melanie advice, hopped off the counter and said, “I’m going upstairs before I start my period.” I even had the urge to ask Tasha could I borrow Pookie’s number to take out this wench I couldn’t stand. They all became a part of us. Even the Sun Beam from the earlier episodes who always wanted to fight Melanie….yeh, her too.  And even after all of the cast changes….they finally got it right.

        Wendy Raquel Robinson, Tia Mowry Hardrict, Pooch Hall, Hosea Chanchez, Brittany Daniel, and Coby Bell may all sound like foreign names from movies and TV Shows like Steve Harvey SHow, Sister Sister, Twitches, Joe Dirt, Stomp the Yard: Homecoming, Smart Guy & a plethora of other projects, but they are the geniuses behind the characters that we have all grown to love. I think it takes a special kind of actor ( and I know because I have my Masters in Theatre) to make you forget who they have been, who they truly are and the fact that they are playing a role. I think I speak for the entire The Game Nation when I say that they BECAME these characters.  I didn’t see Regina or Wendy, I saw TASHA MACK! I didnt see Tia & wondered where Tamera was, I saw MELANIE! I didn’t see Brandy or Brittany, hell I saw Kelly. I think you get my drift. Jason was not a caricature, but a real person, with real fears, who had a cheap way of expressing them.  Malik, though a stereotype was believable, relatable, and human under all of the hubris. Derwin was a constant reminder of what could occur when you let fame and riches go to your head & how we should keep those who have been there for us closer, no matter the cost. So when they left, we felt like our friends had walked away from us without an explanation. It hurt, and I mean it hurt badly, but my inner Dione wouldnt allow me to cry.

        Twitter was the only place we could talk with our Game family other than staring at the TV on BET to catch glimpses of episodes. But what happened to them? Where’d they go? How does Derwin’s son look? And even though I didn’t agree with a rushed chapel wedding, how are the Davis’ doing and is Janay a crazy baby mama? Is Jason still an ass? Because I WISH A LIGHT SKINNED BROTHER WOULD let me find him legal representation, show up in court and then ride out with another chick ( Damn Stacey Dash is still gorgeous!)!!!! And what happened to Malik? Is his sister still in the pic? How is Brittany getting along with the divorce? Did Kelly forgive Tasha? Did Tasha take boxing lessons or go to her trunk after the credits rolled because she got KNOCKED THE *BLEEP* OUT by Kelly? SO many questions!!! Is Dione still in the picture? Why wasnt she at the wedding? Or was she. I swear I could go on.

        The time is now 2:00pm EST, and I already know that so many people will be sitting in front of their TVs tonight watching as if it were the Super Bowl. I know that they will have a turn out so big that it will set record numbers in viewing history , no matter the channel. The fans requesting this show to come back and the pressure that we placed on Hollywood to bring it back is a testament that America craves QUALITY TV programming. We want actors that will make us feel, we want substance to grace our screens and we want beautiful women and fine ass men to be there weekly at our demand…lol. Yes, there is no denying that we NEED The Game to come back. I have no doubts in my mind that this will be on for a long time. Okay I lied….I do have a doubt….how is Tasha gonna cuss if BET keeps bleeping out Hoe & Bitch? Those are her primary vocabulary choices! It just isn’t the same if “The word you’re tripping on is Hoe” gets bleeped out. But we will see. So, if you’re like D.C. and under a snow advisory, go to the store and get your goodies, bundle up with your boo…because this show is NOT gender specific…it fits us all….and cuddle up in front of the TV at 10pm EST. Be prepared to see greatness return into our homes. I say this as a fan, as a supporter ( borderline groupie …no restraining order needed) and as a non-employee of the network or the show. This is just amazing to me and I KNOW I am not the only one who feels it.

        I thank the cast & crew of The Game in advance. It’s like Christmas all over again, but better (No Offense, Jesus). It may seem dramatic, but it is done with great intentions. May God watch over all of you, cover you in his grace and His mercy, and provide you with his favor. May you be the ambassadors of QUALITY American television and show the people who doubted you how NOT to mess with God’s people. It’s your time to shine. I’ll be watching. America will be watching. All of us will be ready to give a standing ovation and a “That’s what’s up”. Did I say that right, Derwin…I mean Pooch.. Hell you know who the hell I mean.  God speed.

P.S. Tune in tomorrow for my thoughts on the Welcome Back episode of The Game

P.P.S. If you want to leave a comment but dont want to use your email address, use 2deepuncensored@gmail.com

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

C.I.A: Condom In Action

In 200 Men Said.... on 11 January 2011 at 11:25 am

200 Men Said….#2

        Ladies, I know we have all been here, in the moment, heated, just wanting him to shut the hell up with all of his sweet talk and get straight to the reason why you are pinned up against a wall with your clothes wrapped around your body in weird geometric configurations. Yes, there. And sometimes, just sometimes…..all caution goes out the window and you get the party started quickly…but not right. How many of you have fallen for the “baby just let me stick the head in” routine? What has it cost you?

        I have to raise my hand here and confess… yes… I too have been here. I contemplated leaving my personal experience out of this one, but I figured it would hit harder if I put a face to this. Judge me if you want, you dont know my journey, and where I was in not where I am, nor are the decisions I have made in the past those that I will make in the future. Is this an every time I have sex thing? No, but have I had unprotected sex before? Yes. But he is just soooooo fine with his amazing body, his eyes, his voice, his hair, his….yeh..that too….lol! I digress…Even though it was unprotected intercourse with just 2 guys, ten years apart, it doesn’t make it right by any stretch of the imagination. I should have requested that he wrap up. If not for him…for me. I’ve had a guy who I was with have rumors come out that he was HIV positive years later.THANK THE LAWD I USED A CONDOM!!!!!!!!! I’ve had a guy I was dating have his wife hit me up asking why I was in pictures with her husband & the reason he lives in a different house is because she is trying to divorce him after finding letters and receiving calls from his gay lover. THANK THE LAWD I USED A CONDOM!!!!  Yes, no matter how monogamous you THINK you are, you may not be in one in actuality. So I get tested EVERY year whether I have had sex or not. I only have ONE sexual partner a year… if that….the great ones may be repeated the next year..TMI I know..but this is all about growth. And the lesson has been learned ( not saying how recently) that a condom must be used at ALL TIMES!!! Yes, I will fight the urge from here on out….as HARD as it may be, these mistakes can be costly. So, since I know this… I wanted to see what guys thought of a girl who wanted to have sex with them without a condom. I can hear the Bible thumpers now…. if I had just stayed a virgin until I was married…lol. But since I didn’t, these are the experiences that I have had.

        What would my actions in the past say about me? How has my not so smart judgment in the heat of the moment broadcasted about my self-worth, my overall intelligence, and my concern for my health and my partner? Since this is a lesson that I’ve learned, I can talk about it freely. I believe in sharing my journey so that others don’t have to take the same road to get to the same place. So I wanted to let the ladies know, if you are out there having unprotected sex….this is what the men are thinking of you.

200 men were asked:

Most men don’t like to wear condoms, so how safe do you feel with a woman who doesn’t make you wear one if you aren’t in a relationship? Have you ever NOT worn a condom? Why? WHat made it okay?

 

And even though I wish I could post all 200 of their comments, here is what 8% of them said:

  1. Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: BOTH sexes don’t like to wear a condom due to the unnatural feel. It just says that she is open to diseases but it’s how easy to get her open that says I am not the only one in a week…No condom?Yes.Natural feel and extend relationship made it okay for me
  2.  kingdomgate_ent:  They say condoms are to prevent disease but in all actuality its a form of birth control. I don’t just have casual sex. The only woman I plan on sleeping with is my wife. So this condom question doesn’t apply to me.
  3. K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!: I USE PROTECTION ! A LOT OF THINGS TEND TO HAPPEN IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT! IF YOU BOTH FEEL SAFE GO FOR IT ! IF ITS A SECOND THOUGHT USE PROTECTION! I HAVE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX NOT MANY TIMES BUT IT HAS HAPPENED. I AM THANKFUL TO BE HEALTHY AND SAFE.
  4. Willie C: I always wear a condom. I have never not worn one, anytime I have had sex I have always put one on.
  5.  Code Name Bigsexy: you gotta wear 1.a woman who doesn’t make you wear 1 probably doesn’t make other men wear 1. STRAPPPPPPPPP UP!!!!!!
  6. James F: i don’t feel safe at all..and she’s not gonna make me do anything..I don’t want kids so i wear a condom..relationship or no relationship
  7. Vincent: I don’t. I’m very cautious since I trusted a female when I was 15 and then she told me she was pregnant. The women I’ve been in relationships with normally get angry at me because they want me to take it off but it’s a trust thing.
  8. Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Not safe at all. I have not worn one. I was in a relationship…. but I still should have worn one. That didn’t make it ok
  9. H. Xavier: I don’t feel safe ,back in the nineties i hated condoms ,but now they’re ur best friend,yes i have not worn a condom before ,with a friend who we were mutually not seein anyone else at the time,but it wasnt ok! u learn from ur mistakes !
  10. Sybree B: Well i am one of those men that don’t like to wear condoms ,but I also don’t have sex with any woman,cause there’s to many diseases out here and i love myself too much to kill myself.
  11.  big slim: I don’t feel safe when a woman wants too lay down with me without a condom. I just have to fall all the way back…
  12. Black Kryptonite aka the KID: True, most men don’t prefer to wear condoms. However, I have worn a condom and still made a child. My stance is I wear them until we discuss not wearing them or we are in a monogamous relationship and decide not to wear them.
  13. Jay: I love condoms like fat kids love cake. The only person I would ever have sex with without a condom would be my significant other. I never had sex with a woman that I didn’t know without wearing a condom. I love sex soooooooo much, but not that much.
  14. James L: I prefer to be in a relationship before sex is involved. Therefore, condoms will not be necessary for us unless it has been agreed upon! No relationship, no sex, no condom!
  15.  ……. :I can’t speak on everybody else,but i have to wear a condom.
  16.  Bryan P: i don’t like wearin um who does….but [I] have to trust u in order not to wear it cuz i like my bestfriend… lol and don’t want it to have bumps on ’em… and yes ive [gone]raw … i knew the person
  17.  IM ON MINE GROWN MAN!!!!!: Well I don’t like to use condoms cuz I can’t feel the wetness n the juicy
  18. ”DUKE” BANNER: MOST PEOPLE THAT DONT WEAR THEM SAY THEY GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE EMOTION. I HAVE TO REMEMBER THE OLD SAYING, “BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY ” IF I DONT WEAR ONE WITH YOU I [DON’T] KNOW YOU BOTTOM LINE
  19.  ! A WORK IN PROGRESS !: i always wear one. and if she doesn’t i getta steppin cause something is not rite
  20. Lateef25: yeah when i had sex [w/o a condom] with her more than 8 times and I knew she wasnt having sex with anyone else but it was still unsafe
  21.  Hossein M: Well I have to agree with you saying men don’t like condoms because I don’t, but I am better safe than sorry and I leave no room for discussion when it comes to unsafe sex outside a relationship.
  22. Anthony W: I never had sex without a condom.
  23.  Positiveibes: I’ve only gone w/o with women that i had long-term relationships even that made me nervous. it’s not even about H.I.V. for me i protect myself b/c I don’t want K.I.D. w/ someone that’s not my wife.
My favorite comment happened to have come from :
  1.  Trayvon S {Men Of Respect}: that is correct, most men don’t like wearing condoms. But if you are with a woman who doesn’t make you or suggests that you wear one, dont do it. Yes, i have not worn a condom with a woman i just met but i made sure that she hadn’t slept around
 
        He said that he has slept with a woman who he just met and didn’t use a condom, but “he made sure she hadn’t slept around.” If I had enough time to ask I would wonder, how did he make sure she hadn’t slept around? It isn’t that easy to tell with women. WOmen can sleep with 5 guys in a day and no one will ever be the wiser but her. So how does one know for sure how many people their partner has slept with other than taking their word for it? And since guys don’t want to know how many men their girl has been with prior to them, this too can close down the streets of communication about sexual history and the practices of the person that you are trusting your body with. Trust me, I have gone and gotten tested with a guy just to find out months later that he slept with his ex-girl a week before we got tested and that made our test void because he was not out of his window period with her. Do you know how SCARY that is to know that you did everything YOU were suppose to do to only find out that the other person has lied to you and put you at risk?  These are the lessons that I have learned and thankfully have remained HIV NEGATIVE after all of this foolishness.  We’ve got to do better.  ALL OF US.
 
        So you see, the consensus is that you should ALWAYS wear a condom. Even those who said that they have to know you, and be in a long relationship with you….they should wear a condom too. You never know a person until you say “I DO” and even then there are some activities and reports of spouses catching diseases. SO just play it safe. Wrap it up at all times. And if this person happens to be the one you marry… have a free-ballin event! But I just wanted to bring this discussion to the fore front and get everyone talking about it. You can post a comment anonymously if you would like. Use the email 2deepuncensored@gmail.com and leave a comment. Make up a name and comment. We need to get this discussion going. So, lets wrap it up! or become celebate like me! Hell….its been so long… I’m afraid to cross my legs b/c I might spark a fire, but at least I know I am K.I.D free and H.I.V/AIDS free, ya dig!
 
Sincerely,
~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Freak in the Street, Lady in the Sheets?

In 200 Men Said.... on 10 January 2011 at 11:15 am

 200 Men Said…. #1       

        As a woman who is open about more things than people either think I am or would expect me to be, I have come across the double standard of being a woman and publicly talking about sex. When I stand on stage and present my comedy, people always laugh and often times a guy will step to me inappropriately afterwards based on what I mentioned. It made me wonder….do guys automatically think that the way I discuss sex in public would be the way that I behave in private? If so, then I may never talk about sex in public again.

        I am a very private person when it comes to my own sexual experiences, but I LOVE to talk about sex and its effects in a public setting. Conversation about the topic keeps me on my toes and it makes me analyze the views of others. I can see how my morals and philosophies measure up to someone with an entirely different background than myself. It is a source of freedom to talk about something that I keep private. It’s like a boys’ high school locker room, I too can talk about shit I’ve never done. I watch TV, I listen to the radio, and I have heard other people’s conversations….I would have to be dumb, deaf, and blind to not know the different aspects of sex, but that doesn’t mean that I have done those things just because I talk about them. The responses I get because I talk about them almost feel like a punishment for being so free, and then it doesn’t feel like freedom any more.

        I know that ALL males are not like the asses that come up to me, but there are more that are than those who are not and the squeaky wheel gets the oil, right? So, I went online to a sight that I visit and I asked 200 guys the following question:

If a woman openly discusses sex in public, do you automatically assumes she is sexually open in the privacy of her bedroom? If so, Why? “

        The responses were varied, yet it gave me an insight as to what a different array of males would think about the topic. Of course I cannot put all 200 responses on here but I picked the ones that I felt my ladies could get the most from. Here is how they responded:

  1. Coleman:  There is a particular idea that a woman who speaks about sex, politics or religion in public is not a lady. Very archaic at best! I believe that a woman who speaks about sex in public intellectually and candidly is a woman who is open-minded.
  2.  James F: no..most of the time women that talk about it don’t be about it…the really sexually open women discuss that privately with their partner and they just do their thing behind closed doors..she’s not gonna put her business on front street
  3. cdub7804: yes, because it would be foolish to clam up in private
  4. Ddouble R: no, i think that just means she’s open-minded.
  5. Aries Brotha: Not really. It has been my experience that some women just enjoy being open about sex, and sexuality. Sometimes it’s all about exchanging view. On the other hand it could be a test to see how mature the man is and what he is willing to open up about.
  6. Dezi: No because conversation is conversation. Why Assume when you can just ask.
  7. KP: No not at all. Just because you have a sexual discussion with someone doesn’t mean you want to sleep with them. Same rule applies in my opinion.
  8. Chuck K: Good question. I can say yes I would assume she’s sexually open in the privacy of her bedroom because talking about sex openly in public is saying to me she’s a confident woman and she knows what she wants. On the other hand she could be talking just to be talking
  9. Code Name Bigsexy: i would assume she is sexual and the fact that she would talk about it in public would make me think that she is an open book kinda woman
  10. Distinguished: No not at all. Sometimes a woman throws the topic out there to see who bites.
  11.  DJ Urban Cowboy: Not always… usually the ones that are the most open in the public are the hardest to get behind closed doors
  12. big slim: Yes because she is discussing it in public but its cool because I’m a very understanding person
  13. Black Kryptonite aka the KID: i wouldn’t assume that. sex is a common topic discussed among men and women. It would not only depend upon the nature of the discussion but how she addresses the topic as well. Who am I to judge?
  14. Delonte M: If she’s alright to talk about pussy, ass, penetration,etc. in public amongst strangers to hear. Why the hell wouldn’t she do everything she’s saying (and more) in her privacy?
  15. Anthony F: No I don’t. conversation is a lot different from actions.
  16. Black Griff: she better be

And my FAVORITE answer to the question came from:

  1. Cut From A Different Cloth: It depends on conversation, If you reveal a lot then, yeah, people are going to think you’re sexually open. The key is to tell enough without telling all. Some women don’t know how to keep the mystery.

        So, judging by Cut From A Different Cloth’s answer, it is okay for women to talk about sex openly, but it is the amount of information that is divulged during said conversation. I would think that it would be safe to make generalized comments about oral sex, and positions, etc…but personalized statements should be kept to a minimum unless you want guys following you home to see your kinky swing hanging in your kitchen. All in all, men are visual. We say something and they see it…the sex hormones get to raging and it is all down hill from there. So we have to take part , as women, in the responsibility of what information gets out there and not blaming it all on the men who sometimes respond inappropriately. Like CFADC said…..keep the mystery. That is a lesson that even I will take to the bank.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

A “Loc” on Intimacy

In Cupid & Other Myths on 4 January 2011 at 10:51 am

        

         “I WISH A NEGRO WOULD TOUCH MY HAIR AFTER I GOT IT DONE! “ is heard being yelled from a gaggle of African-American females at a brunch. “He better go get a white girl for that” is the follow-up by the freshly done, mohawked co-signer giving cliché snaps and hi-fives in my imaginary scenario. Yet, imaginary or not….at least ONE African-American sister reading this nodded her head in agreement at the reality of such statements before reaching the sentence about it being a made up scenario. We live here. Somewhere between I Wish A Nigga Would Blvd and Madame CJ Walker Ave where it has become okay for our crown and glory to remain nothing more than a show piece head-dress to be paraded in front of our kings like an artifact in a museum; on display but not to be touched. How’d we get here?

        Did we get to this point from the hours upon hours of sitting next to the stove in the kitchen smelling dinner cook as your mom threatened to burn your neck if you didn’t lean your head all the way to the side as Blue Magic sizzled in your ear? Or was it the reoccurring echo of your mother yelling, “Dont let anyone play in your hair while you are at school” that has somehow follow you into adulthood, long after the threat of lice were gone?  Or was it the old wives tales that your hair carries energy and not just anyone should be playing in your hair like it is recess? Whatever the case may be, if your man is good enough to play all up and through your candy land….why can’t he play in your naps? It sounds so silly once I put it that way doesn’t it? You can sleep with me, but don’t touch my hair. I mean, if we told inner city girls that they needed to care for their bush as much as they do their…well..bush, we may have more virgins in the world and cut down on the world population. Why can a man have sex with us… but can’t touch our hair? Strange…..very , very , strange.

        Knowing the Black woman better than she knows herself ( yes, I’m black), I know for a fact that no matter how liberal she may think that she is… she would rather vote Palin in office with Bush as her VP and McCain as Secretary of Defense before she would ever want to see a Black man with a White woman. It is fact. Even the liberal ones cringe at first sight, evaluate a flaw in her, compare it to the flaw in him and then become okay with it. It’s because we wonder…..what in the hell does she have to make him cross melanin lines and date outside of the cotton field. It is not racial. It is a direct example of confusion between Black males and females personified and in the flesh and we are left to face it.  When not in “mixed company” we share derogatory statements like nigger jokes at a country club amongst ourselves about how the White woman will do the stuff that we wont do , never seeing it as a negative for us but rather a negative for her. This isn’t intended to be racial as it is informative. Its Lisa Lamponelli , Carlos Mencia, Paul Mooney and Richard Prior on stage being copy/pasted into the privacy of our own homes. They say what we think…and even reveal what we have yet to understand.

        I’m not a freak by any stretch of the imagination, but I often wonder what do people get out of the whole “pull my hair” segment of sex, I mean who does that? If this were a question on Jeopardy the answer would be “What is Shit that White people do?”. I’m tender headed. I don’t like to comb my hair when I HAVE to yet alone allow a guy to grip and cause alopecia traction baldness in a heat of passion. So what do people get out of that? I am soooooo serious when I ask this question. Outside of kinky violence, I can’t see much else being received from it. Or can I?… Nope, I can’t. But I do have a serious question to ask, a few actually.

        Black ladies…..do you think that we lose a huge portion of our intimacy with our Black men because we often refuse to let them touch our hair? I mean… think about it. To a guy, touching your hair is a subtle way of him sending you a signal that he is feeling you. Swimming or sexual encounters in bodies of water or the shower is on the top of many men’s fantasy lists; seen Baywatch Lately? Men go crazy as a woman does a slow walk out of the water and pushes her hair out of her face. The slow hair blow as a woman gets out of the car was designed by a man, for a man as a way to seduce him via Yaky 1b natural. Yet, ladies…. most of us do not partake in any of these activities. I don’t care if a woman is natural or creamy cracked out…. several will not let her man touch her hair. WE have built up this impermeable wall of Pink Oil Moisturizer and Jam that most black men have learned before they were able to pee directly into the bowl that they do not touch a black woman’s hair. We have unconsciously trained our future kings that they can touch everything on his future queen’s body but her crown. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?

       I mentioned this to my big brother on Sunday, and I promise you that if he had wings he would have jumped off the sofa in agreement and flown away. For a moment it looked as if he had caught the Holy Ghost, but it was just frustration releasing. He wasnt even paying attention to my side conversation with his wife…. but I ‘ll be damned if he wasnt fully listening now! lol. I wish I had recorded it just so that women could see the amount of energy and excitement he expressed to finally have a black women expressing his same sentiments. He said, “I would even go as far as to say that THIS (not touching a black woman’s hair) is why SOME black men date outside of the race.” There you have it… straight from the horse’s mouth! Ladies, here you have a black man telling you that he could understand why a black man would date outside of his race….just to feel someone’s hair/scalp… than to stick around and not be able to express his silent form of affection to you. I’ve even posted this question on Twitter and got blocked from tweeting because I ran out of my daily allotted tweets by responding to the sea of guys who said that they wished they could touch their girl’s hair/head. I posted it again today and will see what happens.

        So in closing, Black women… we’ve got to do better when it comes to allowing our kings to touch our hair. Maybe let him touch it for the few days leading up to a retouch, or right after you get it washed. Maybe this is the connection that we need to re-establish in order to allow intimacy to flow from a natural place, unrestricted by social taboos and norms. Maybe, and just maybe this will cause Mr. Lynch to shake in his grave if we can get one woman to allow her man to run his fingers through her hair. Would it hurt us to share this portion of ourselves? Would it kill us to open of a gateway to intimacy that hasn’t been there since the invention of a hot comb? Can we learn that there are things far more important than our hair? I hope so……your relationship is counting on it. And I am not asking you to let everyone touch your hair… just your man. SO yes, if the complete stranger (white woman) standing behind you at the Reagan National Airport decides amongst her friends that you have beautiful hair and decides to reach out and run her fingers through your hair…..(This happened to me)…..just breathe before you commit a felony. Everyone is not as restrictive as we are about our hair….and this is the day that you may need to examine why. It is my suggestion that we ask ourselves if this is the cause of why black love has a “loc” on intimacy.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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